YOU Choose the Best Unsigned Band in the U.S: The Sweet Sixteen pt. 1

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Who will it be?

Two rounds of brutal competition have brought us to the Sweet Sixteen. Which of these warriors will prevail? TODAY: California vs. Kentucky! New Mexico vs. Wisconsin! Colorado vs. Maine! New Jersey vs. Missouri!

Some people say that art isn’t a competition. Those people are losers. EVERYTHING is a competition. Here at the Toilet ov Hell, we’ve gone and declared the best unsigned band in each state of the union. Now we’re pitting these warriors against each other for the right to claim the ultimate prize: The title of Best of the Best. Which band will champion their state to glory? That’s up for you to decide.

HOW IT WORKS:
Each state was seeded by population size. The 14 most-populous states received a first round bye. Voting for this round closes Sunday, September 13th. Today, 8 bands are battling it out for supremacy. Destroy Judas (CA), Ad Infinitum (KY), Void Ritual (NM), Arctic Sleep (WI), The Sleer (CO), Sylvia (ME), Black Table (NJ), and Existem (MO).


Destroy Judas (California) VS. Ad Infinitum (Kentucky)

Destroy Judas – “Using a triple guitar attack, understated drumming that still pummels with the best of them, and vocals that roar with the fury of a angered lion, these fellows carve out epic mournful soundscapes that recall the best of Mouth of the Architect, Minsk, and even Mare (remember them?).”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

 

Ad Infinitum – “This year’s Woven Within is a deeply evocative piece of music, often emanating coldness, isolation, and depression at Xasthur or Leviathan level, albeit far less coarsely. The reverb-drenched litany of repetitious guitar is the substructure for the vast, far-flung soundscape on display here, and J.G.S.’ cursed howls are like remote cries for help, doomed behind the wall of sound.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 13-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Destroy Judas vs. Ad Infinitum

Void Ritual (New Mexico) VS. Arctic Sleep (Wisconsin)

Void Ritual – “Those engaging Void Ritual will find blistering, unrepentant black metal with tremolo riffs more jagged than Sandia peak, vocals more desolate than the atomic desert of White Sands, and talent deeper than the Carlsbad Caverns. Songs flow seamlessly from slower, spiritual passages to visceral volcanic blasts with nary a hitch or odd note to be found. The entirety of Holodomor is beautiful and utterly enchanting.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Arctic Sleep – “When you need PROG and also want some dang FEELINGS to go with it, Arctic Sleep is your band. Like if Poison The Well ghostwrote a Baroness album.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 13-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Void Ritual vs. Arctic Sleep

The Sleer (Colorado) VS. Sylvia (Maine)

The Sleer – “Feelings are for wimps, and The Sleer will gladly crush them into tiny bits for you with slow-burning, soul-burning Doom. It might take some time (around 40 minutes), and the process itself will be emotionally painful, but you’ll come out on the other end a cold, dead-eyed shell of a man. This is crushingly dark stuff.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Sylvia – “Sylvia offer varying speeds and tempos, accelerating to enable thunderous drum beats replete with furious guitar riffs that crush souls… before abruptly taking a foot off the gas to pummel you into submission with lurching, sinister breakdowns.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 13-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
The Sleer vs. Sylvia

Black Table (New Jersey) VS. Existem (Missouri)

Black Table – “The musicianship, while admirable, never overshadows the ebb and flow of the music itself; moments of intensity give way to passages of beauty, only to once again thrust the listener into the maelstrom of sonic chaos. This chaos, however, never leaves the listener feeling jarred or disgruntled. It retains a soulful melody, often flirting with major keys and softer tonality unusual in such music; a testament to the maturity of the band as a songwriting unit.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Existem – “In my opinion the best so-called prog bands are ones that don’t go fully prog. Think Opeth in their heyday, Burst, Cult of Luna, Extol, and so forth. Existem are very much in the vein of these bands. They create prog metal that isn’t afraid to veer off the beaten path but exists within the confine of a song. The material here is not an overblown jam session like so many bands are guilty of recording.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 13-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Black Table vs. Existem

  • Vote for Jeb

    Drink some beer and vote The Sleer

  • Of the 14 top-seeded bands, only FIVE made it to the next round. I demand a Senate investigation.

    • Vote for Jeb

      If you even think to affix “gate” onto this somehow, I’m going to swat you.

    • Dagon

      UN mind control…. Zionist schemes…. Stimulating sheeple…………..reading ayn rand drawing pentagram a…….public school the instrument of domination……………..ask the government…..lizard people rigged the contest……

      Play both at full vol

      • KJM

        Remember 10/10/01

        • more beer

          How could anyone forget? It`s all that idiot spoke about. He is probably presently. The ward of whatever state he is in. High security mental institution. Saying 10/10/01 over and over again.

      • Lacertilian

        Of course, it all makes sense now.

    • Maik Beninton™

      I really wanted Deus Ex to continue.

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

        I don’t know, I heard the guy is kind of a dick.

        • Maik Beninton™

          I heard he hate anime, what’s wrong with him?

          • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

            Exactly THAT!!!!!!! Just for that, I hope his dick falls off and his dog eats it.

      • He likes FFDP.

  • Tyree

    Isn’t Void Ritual signed now to Tridroid Records? Maybe you already know though.

    • Unsigned at the moment to the best of my knowledge.

      • Vote for Jeb

        It says on his FB that he is currently unsigned, but previous releases were through Tridroid.

      • Tyree

        Interesting. Broken Limbs Recordings released the new split it looks like.

        • Óðinn

          Hmm…Maybe they couldn’t sign because their limbs were broken.

          Bad joke, I know.

          • Tyree

            Touché

  • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

    Disturbed is the greatest band that there was, is, and ever will be! I have never listened to any band more than this one in my entire life. Why? Because no one is better, and no one will ever be better, than Disturbed! We Are.. DISTURBED! We Are.. DISTURBED! We Are DISTURBED! WE ALL ARE… DISTURBED!

    Down with the sickness all the way!

    -38Disturbed posted, Top Ten Best Rock Band Of All Time

  • Tyree

    Well, at least Ad Infinitum is still in it. They won’t win but they made it further than I expected.

  • Sad day, no more Bereave. I have to vote against Destroy Judas for this crime.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Damnit, I liked Destroy Judas. Their triple guitar attack is awesome.

      • Insane levels of guitar feedback is better.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          You have a point.

    • Maik Beninton™

      I just don’t bereave they got eliminated.

    • Mother Shabubu 8

      Convinced Joe rigged it as revenge for all my tiny hands jokes. Get Jesse Ventura on this shit!

      • We made a valient effort Lt. People were encouraged to vote for them and I changed my Disqus handle. They deserved better.

  • Dagon

    Can’t believe we’ve reached Oitavas de Finais.

    This is exciting.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I just realized I like the new Buckcherry album. I’m so sorry to anyone I may have disappointed.

    • Tyree
      • Dagon

        Jajajajja! I finished it this Sunday, and watched the original right after. Meloni is great in this role.

        I then watched Memento before going to bad. Ever caught that one?

        • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

          Saw it in theaters. Excellent film!

          • Dagon

            So good… The ending is also extremely relatable. Wouldn’t you do the same in order to preserve “purpose”?

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I don’t want to go to the dark side but I fear I’ve already crossed over.

      • Listen to me, you fucked-up little cigarette-smoking piece of shit. I was in the Vietnam war.

        • Tyree

          Oh. So it is… and it isn’t.

      • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

        Won’t that get the Buckcherry butt plug dirty?

    • The Anus That Ate Manhattan
  • Maik Beninton™

    Bummer got eliminated… bummer.
    The circlejerk of stupid jokes begin.

  • RJA

    I voted for them once, but that is all the support I can give a band named Black Table.

  • Sir Tapir The Based :]

    YOU PEOPLE DIDN’T BEREAVE HARD ENOUGH!

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I didn’t Bolieve in them anyway.

      • Maik Beninton™

        You’re doing it wrong JJD.

      • Sir Tapir The Based :]

        You wouldn’t.

      • KJM

        They didn’t BO-lieve.

        • Sir Tapir The Based :]

          They didn’t Bolivia.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I did, though.

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            I knew you would. That’s why I love you.

    • They lost by 4 votes. At least it was close.

      • Sir Tapir The Based :]

        I blame Jeb Bush. He has experience in rigging elections.

      • Mother Shabubu 8

        That’s loser talk!!

  • The Anus That Ate Manhattan
  • Mother Shabubu 8

    Can’t believe an 18 minute borefest beat Bereave. Or got that far to beat Bereave.

    EXISTEM OR IT’S RIGGED.

    • /hopingit’srigged

      • If this thing was rigged, the great state of TEXAS wouldn’t have had its ass handed to it by the teensiest tiniest state in the union.

  • RJA

    I was sad to see Drouth go. Probably my second favorite.

    • Vote for Jeb

      A lot of my picks have been eliminated. Withering Light is a good alternative to Grethor, though, and The Sleer and Void Ritual are still in it. Black Table too.

      • RJA

        withering light vs. grethor was an unfortunate matchup – 2 great bands.

    • Tyree

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure I voted for them each time. Unless they were against Ad Infinitum.

  • I want Blackgate to win this next round, but I have seen the might of the Borealis camp

  • Bummer AND Bereave didn’t make it? For shame, terleteers, for shame.

    • JJM

      brb, going to carve out the gray matter that contains the memory of what i just watched…

    • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

      Vote or Puff Daddy will kill you!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pSh0VAVYn4

    • KJM

      This was made when Mustaine still retained some portion of his sanity. Maybe going off dope was the wrong move for him.

      • All started with the Sweating Bullets videoclip.

      • Óðinn

        Yeah, I actually respected him more when he was on drugs.

        • more beer

          Everyone did!

      • more beer

        When people stop doing things they have done for a long time. It really tends to mess them up. He is a prime example of this.

    • Sir Tapir The Based :]

      Think about it, think about it, think about it

    • Óðinn
  • JWEG

    I am very pleased to see that the last round matched my picks by all but the very last one, which was to be fair extremely difficult. On the other hand TN was one of only two States I had a part in submitting, and FoT was a personal favorite from it. I’m left to appear like I’m only in this thing for geographical (proximity) loyalty from here on in. Go Seahawks. I mean Witch Ripper.

    I’m definitely voting Arctic Sleep and Sylvia this round, but I’ll have to flip a coin on those other two. I think, in particular, you may have a typo in the first one: it should say Bereave vs. Bummer.

    I would demand a recount, and a judicial review, but I really don’t want to open that can of worms during an election campaign…

  • KJM

    #TeamWitchRipper stands triumphant!

    • Lacertilian

      Them and (my fave) Borealis are probably two of the only bands I really enjoy that are left.
      Sad days Shake, sad days..

  • Celtic Frosty

    Void Ritual vs. Arctic Sleep? That’s impossible.

  • Jen

    Vote for Arctic Sleep.

    • CT-12

      Holy shit, Jen’s finally in the toilet!!!!!

      • Jen

        Shucks, people remember me!

    • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

      While i really like Arctic Sleep, its hard to ignore the fact that they already have 6 or 7 full length albums and, i think, have turned down record deals.

      • Jen

        I think it’s just 5 (I bought all of their albums in a combo deal for the Kickstarter on the most recent), but you might be right. And while we could argue that having been around long enough to have been offered record deals might give them an advantage over newer bands in these brackets, it’s who’s the best, not necessarily who deserves to win *~*a grand prize of a record deal*~* or needs that opportunity the most.

        • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

          Fair enough. Still leaves me a little biased, i think, though

    • Howdy stranger!

    • Óðinn

      Hi Jen. Welcome to the Toilet (*better than MetalSucks since 2014).

      • Vote for Jeb

        Jen was with us back at the beginning but has been sadly absent.

        • Óðinn

          She beat me to it. 🙂

          I wasn’t born in the Toilet, but I got here as soon as I could.

          http://shopwithpippa.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/born-in-texas.jpg

          • Vote for Jeb

            It would be good to see some of the OG’s come back. Satan ov Hell recently reappeared too.

          • Óðinn

            So much better than the Satan ov Detroit. 😉

            That guy is trouble.

          • more beer

            It is a troubled city. So that comes withe territory.

  • KJM

    Sample text

  • I don’t have the patience to try and understand this bracket nonsense but . . . looks like none of my original votes made it through? It’s a shitty feeling, voting for someone you happily voted AGAINST last time around . . . :/

    • Lacertilian

      You know what to do my friend.

      • I did it. I hope you did it too.

  • The Bore Brings Strange…

    The Black Table vs. Existem decision hurt…

    https://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltnfcgw7fE1r4k5f5o1_400.gif

  • DowneastDoomer
  • MUSHROOMHEAD!

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