YOU Choose the Best Unsigned Band in the U.S: The Elite Eight – Pt. 2

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Who will it be?

Three rounds of relentless battle have brought us to the Elite Eight. Which of these warriors will prevail?! TODAY: Rhode Island vs. Nevada! Michigan vs. Louisiana!

HOW IT WORKS:
Some people say that art isn’t a competition. Those people are losers. EVERYTHING is a competition. Here at the Toilet ov Hell, we’ve gone and declared the best unsigned band in each state of the union. Now we’re pitting these warriors against each other for the right to claim the ultimate prize: The title of Best of the Best. Which band will champion their state to glory? That’s up for you to decide.

Each state was seeded by population size. The 14 most-populous states received a first round bye. Today, 4 bands are battling it out for supremacy. Eternal Khan (RI), Elephant Rifle (NV), Blackgate (MI), and Withering Light (LA). Voting for this round closes Sunday, September 20th at 7:00 PM CST.

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Eternal Khan (Rhode Island) VS. Elephant Rifle (Nevada)

Eternal Khan – “This trio brings the consuming inevitably of doom and mix it with a heaping dose of ethereal black metal. T. Phrathep’s guitar rings with the type of tremolo soaked misery that conjures the heralding of legions of plague stricken malcontents shambling towards an unsuspecting village to ravage it to nothing. Bassist Nate Woods reigns as one of my favorite current vocalists in metal with a distinctive, articulate but still savage bark.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

 

Elephant Rifle – “It’s noise rock, but it’s noise rock that sleeps on top of a debris heap consisting of god-knows-what in the back of a shitty van, showers in shitty beer, dries off with the one shitty shirt it owns/never puts on, then blowdries its gross hair in front of the exhaust pipe. It’s hardcore, but it’s hardcore that eats roadkill for breakfast. You dig? I dig.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 20-09-2015 19:00:00
Poll Results:
Eternal Khan vs. Elephant Rifle

Blackgate (Michigan) VS. Withering Light (Louisiana)

Blackgate – “How often do you get to use the phrase “powerthrash”? Well, at least once thanks to the dudes in Blackgate. They combine some truly gnarly thrash riffs, vocals that soar like the endangered early 90’s version of the American Bald Eagle, and some infectious choruses to great effect. If you don’t find yourself grooving along or whipping out your best falsetto, there’s a solid chance you’re probably dead inside.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Withering Light – “I highly recommend throwing on some decent headphones or your speaker system for this release. Withering Light have a melodic sensibility that most bands simply cannot reach. The guitar lines sparkle and shine like the reflection of a lighthouse on an oil spill. Within these blasts and screams there is catharsis. Listen to “Lantern” and find yourself in the dark.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 20-09-2015 19:00:00
Poll Results:
Blackgate vs. Withering Light
  • Vote for Jeb

    May the light wither in shadow. May the twilight rise and consume all. May the darkness of Louisiana poison and consume the heavenly bodies until all is cast into the void of endless sleep.

  • Death

    Vote for Eternal Khan and Withering Light or I’m gonna steal your dick!

    • Woops!

      Please, don’t steal my pipí.

      🙁

    • JJM

      picking a fav betwixt Withering Light and Blackgate is like choosing between Tapir and Smitty: impossible!

      • Death

        It’s easy. Withering Light is me, Smitty is Blackgate. Smitty sucks, choose me.

    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      I did.

    • Boosh!

      • Death
        • “Boosh” as in “I agree whole-dick-edly.”

          • Death

            You could’ve just said that you agree instead of giving me a sound that can be interpreted many ways.

          • You could have just interpreted it correctly instead of doing the opposite and then responding with a meme-less headshot that could be interpreted many ways.

            That is, if you could be bothered to listen or to care about my feelings.

          • Death

            Expecting me to care about your feelings, that’s a paddlin’

          • Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm, paddlin’ paddlin’ paddlin’

          • Death

            Sarcasm is gay.

          • I am offended.

          • Death

            Hi offended, I’m Death.

          • Hi. Want to come over and watch Buffy?

          • Death

            I don’t like that show. Big surprise.

          • You are not terribly evolved for a timeless, omnipotent entity.

          • Death

            Don’t be mean. Let me not like things in peace.

          • Peace is gay.

          • Death

            RichteR is gay.

          • 🙁

          • Death

            :]

          • Turn that upside down frown upside down.

        • Óðinn

          Looks kinda like Haru, the Great White Ninja.

          http://content8.flixster.com/question/45/27/93/4527934_std.jpg

    • I’m assuming by “Blackgate” you actually mean “Withering Light.”
      .
      Right buddy?
      .
      .
      .
      Right?

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        Ain’t nobody got time to vote that.

        • Death

          Vote or die, motherfucker.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I did, ain’t nobody got time to vote for Withering Light.

          • Death

            You voted for the wrong band. Now you die, motherfucker.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I AM INVINCIBLE!

          • Death

            I’mma steal yo dick. I’ll take it to a taxidermist and keep it on my wall as a trophy.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Not mah pífí, I need for pee pee.

          • Death

            You’ll have to pee sitting down like a girl
            >implying you didn’t already do that because yo dick so small

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I is confuzzled wether insult or compliment.

          • Death

            Knowing me it’s probably an insult. Also, I thought you stopped using that horrible word. Confuzzeled. Sounds like shit. I will call our overlord Sipilä and tell him to ban that word.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Everything comes back in due time. Sometimes I are confuzzled, sometimes I are not.

            Sipilä <<<< Siitoin.

          • Death

            I’m 87% sure Sipilä is a freemason. Also he’s a huge dickhole. That’s 196% sure.

        • Make time or, as I stated elsewhere, get the Actual fuck out.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            *Get the Actual fuck outside, comes back in*

          • Death

            *hits Beargod with a broom*
            HUS SIKA MEHTÄÄN

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Räwrrr!

          • *Crosses arms disapprovingly, taps foot, points to sign that reads “No Bears Allowed”*

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            It says Bears, one Bear is allowed.

      • Yeah, sure.

  • Elephant Rifle or GTFO

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt

      I voted against them for spite. They took out Blizzard at Sea and Team PA.

      • I think many of us are getting spiteful and I’ll bet the Witch Ripper voters may vote against them in anger. I voted Witch Ripper over them last but I liked both bands.

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          I voted Eternal Khan but not for that reason.

          • and what was your reason?

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            Because I didn’t want Death to chop my dick off.

          • Death

            Excellent
            *rubs hands together*

          • more beer

            I don`t care how big you think it is. It can`t reach from Poughkeepsie to Finland.

      • RJA

        you might as well vote based on band name!

        • Pagliacci is Kvlt

          Thankfully no one does that.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      No.

  • JWEG
  • if u tell ppl who u voted for it won’t come true

  • JJM

    in the absence of Tyree, here is a random live performance (holy cow was i impressed by this):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS0geQsfcHk

  • Hubert
    • Look at that Theodore Roosevelt bastard hunting elephants!

  • Phoenix of the House Tendies

    Khan of the Eternal.

    The Gate that is Black.

    Those are my votes.

    Boom

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
    • Death

      And here we can see Beargod in its natural habitat.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        I’d laugh, if this wasn’t so accurate.
        Oh bother.

      • Lingonberry Bitch

        Here we can see some ostentatious cracker trying to look intimidating on the Internet.

    • Lingonberry Bitch

      What the fuck is an oddinn

  • Óðinn
    • Tell her to stop looking at me like that. OR ELSE.

  • 138 votes (!!!!!!!) for the Withering Light vs Blackgate!? DANG!

    GL

  • Withering Light or get the Actual fuck out.

  • Hölly Smîth

    Where are the IL bands?

  • Adam Baker

    Elephant rifle is hand down better than the crap they pitted against them, the music was good on the other hand but if I wanted to listen to a dog that sounded like he had his throat slit I’d go dig up the one buried in my back yard and put a speaker in his throat and call him eternal khan, black gate is good thrash I like being struck in the ears with old school sounds many bands try to hard but they pull of the sound with a voice to match and withering light does a great job but thrash > modern hardcore any day,and yes I said it withering light modern hardcore with melodic instances I’d rather plug my headphones into a light socket and listen to my blood vessels pop…

  • Lingonberry Bitch

    These bands all suck

    • If you practice some self reflection, you may find that you are, in fact, the one that sucks.

      • Lingonberry Bitch

        I didn’t even listen to them. You are correct, I was sucking that day.

  • tigeraid

    Blackgate is fucking awesome. Long live power metal.