YOU Choose the Best Unsigned Band in the U.S: Round 2 pt. 1

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The first round is over and the seeded states are jumping into the fray. Today: California vs. Maryland! Kentucky vs. Kansas! Illinois vs. New Mexico! Wisconsin vs. Massachusetts! Ohio vs. Colorado! Maine vs. North Carolina!

Some people say that art isn’t a competition. Those people are losers. EVERYTHING is a competition. Here at the Toilet ov Hell, we’ve gone and declared the best unsigned band in each state of the union. Now we’re pitting these warriors against each other for the right to claim the ultimate prize: The title of Best of the Best. Which band will champion their state to glory? That’s up for you to decide.

HOW IT WORKS:
Each state was seeded by population size. The 14 most-populous states received a first round bye. Voting for this round closes Sunday, September 6th. Today, 12 bands are battling it out for supremacy. Bereave (MD), Destroy Judas (CA), Ad Infinitum (KY), Bummer (KS), Deus Ex (IL), Void Ritual (NM), Arctic Sleep (WI), Scaphism (MA), Prize the Doubt (OH), The Sleer (CO), Sylvia (ME), and The Seduction (NC).

bracket2


Destroy Judas (California) VS. Bereave (Maryland)

Destroy Judas – “Using a triple guitar attack, understated drumming that still pummels with the best of them, and vocals that roar with the fury of a angered lion, these fellows carve out epic mournful soundscapes that recall the best of Mouth of the Architect, Minsk, and even Mare (remember them?).”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

 

Bereave – “This is chaotic, dissonant, and visceral powerviolence propelled into the stratosphere. D-beats and off-kilter chords collide in a maelstrom of hate, accented by the unleashed venom of the hardcore vocal diatribes. “You’ll never be loved, only forgotten!” this band vows with genuine, palpable menace.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Destroy Judas vs. Bereave

Ad Infinitum (KY) VS. Bummer (KS)

Ad Infinitum – “This year’s Woven Within is a deeply evocative piece of music, often emanating coldness, isolation, and depression at Xasthur or Leviathan level, albeit far less coarsely. The reverb-drenched litany of repetitious guitar is the substructure for the vast, far-flung soundscape on display here, and J.G.S.’ cursed howls are like remote cries for help, doomed behind the wall of sound.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Bummer – “It’ll take you about 14 minutes to listen to Milk. If you’re THAT pressed for time (you’re not), invest 3 minutes and 44 seconds to check out the gnarly grunge riffs on “Estocada”. I’d encourage you to listen to the whole damn thing though. Opener “Infinite Witches” is not only the sickest fucking song name ever, it’s also a complete burner of a song. “Phantom Limb” comes in and rips your stupid beret off with a killer distorted bass riff. “Cave Teeth” brings the kind of chaotic punk noise that will appeal to fans of bands like Drive Like Jehu and Hot Snakes.”
(Read the full writeup)(Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Ad Infinitum vs. Bummer

Deus Ex (Illinois) VS. Void Ritual (New Mexico)

Deus Ex – “Since 2006, Jon has been working on Deus Ex (not to be confused with the video game series, you fucking nerd). In May of 2013, he released his first full-length: Corrosive Genesis. The album is a dark and crushing affair with mechanized drums, cinematic keyboards, and tormented howls. It is the exact album I want from an evil android.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Void Ritual – “Those engaging Void Ritual will find blistering, unrepentant black metal with tremolo riffs more jagged than Sandia peak, vocals more desolate than the atomic desert of White Sands, and talent deeper than the Carlsbad Caverns. Songs flow seamlessly from slower, spiritual passages to visceral volcanic blasts with nary a hitch or odd note to be found. The entirety of Holodomor is beautiful and utterly enchanting.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Deus Ex vs. Void Ritual

Arctic Sleep (Wisconsin) VS. Scaphism (Massachusetts)

Arctic Sleep – “When you need PROG and also want some dang FEELINGS to go with it, Arctic Sleep is your band. Like if Poison The Well ghostwrote a Baroness album.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

Scaphism – “Disease-ridden death metal that more than occasionally projectile vomits the thrashy groove. I could wax pseudo-poetic about what these dudes sound like, or I could just tell you that they have a song called “Chainsawdomy” and that would give you a pretty good idea.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Arctic Sleep vs. Scaphism

Prize The Doubt (Ohio) VS. The Sleer (Colorado)

Prize The Doubt – “Though only a two-piece band, Jeremy Hill’s frenetic drums anchor Alex Webb’s chaotic fretwork and unconventional vocals to create huge waves of emotion much larger than the duo themselves. The true strength of Prize the Doubt comes from their smart songwriting and complex arrangements. The pair have an economy of sound that at times recalls the roller coaster compositions of Converge.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

The Sleer – “Feelings are for wimps, and The Sleer will gladly crush them into tiny bits for you with slow-burning, soul-burning Doom. It might take some time (around 40 minutes), and the process itself will be emotionally painful, but you’ll come out on the other end a cold, dead-eyed shell of a man. This is crushingly dark stuff.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Prize The Doubt vs. The Sleer

Sylvia (Maine) VS. The Seduction (North Carolina)

Sylvia – “Sylvia offer varying speeds and tempos, accelerating to enable thunderous drum beats replete with furious guitar riffs that crush souls… before abruptly taking a foot off the gas to pummel you into submission with lurching, sinister breakdowns.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

The Seduction – “I’ve heard rumor that some of you flushers love Clutch. I’ve heard talk through the grapevine that some among you get your kicks with The Sword. Why, I’ve heard incendiary whispers that there are perhaps a smattering of readers that enjoy Motörhead. How lewd. On the band’s debut LPYou Catch Fire, The Seduction hit all of those sweet spots. Expect most tracks to punch you right in the hard rock/stoner Venn diagram erogenous zone.”
(Read the full writeup) (Facebook)

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 14-12-2014 20:22:33
end_date 06-09-2015 17:00:00
Poll Results:
Sylvia vs. The Seduction
  • Hubert

    Ad Infitum VS Bummer is a tough one. Wait… No it isn’t. BUMMER

    Edit: The voting thing for that one is rigged

    • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

      Ad Infinitum gets my vote. Bummer.

      • Hubert

        Ad Infinitum is pretty great indeed. But Bummer, Bummer is something special.

  • I voted for Deus Ex because when you put together the name it looks like if it saying Deussexxx.

  • ADHERE TO THE SLEER.

    • Vote for Jeb

      Oooh, I like that.

    • Mother Shabubu 8

      Avoid the Noid.

      He destroys pizzas, you know!

  • HessianHunter

    Awww, super bummed Solaire and Terraform didn’t make the cut. :'( https://solaire.bandcamp.com/track/burnin-a-wet-mule

    • Mxxk Bxnxntxn™

      Bummer.

    • Lacertilian

      Yeah man, Solaire were one of my picks based on their EP but that recent Jet Cat song they posted was a little too different (in the pop direction) for my tastes.

      • HessianHunter

        I dig a lot of power pop so I’m tentatively hopeful about that new record. Really missed that lonesome desert vibe, though.

        • Lacertilian

          The desert sound combined with the Red Fang-esque stoner riffs (e.g. Stir The Herd) really made for great windows-down free driving music.

  • Vote for Jeb

    🙂 for Withering Light. 🙁 for Blizzard at Sea.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt

      Blizzard at Sea getting knocked out in the first round is unbelievable.

      • Vote for Jeb

        It’s perplexing, Pagli.

        • RJA

          I really enjoyed them too. And not because we are both suffering away in Iowa!

        • Pagliacci is Kvlt

          It’s whack, W.

          • Vote for Jeb

            It’s confusing, clown.

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt

            It’s perturbing, President.

          • Vote for Jeb

            It’s quizzical, uh, my physical… thyme.

      • Dagon

        Wtf

  • Mother Shabubu 8

    Because no one wants to listen to 18 minutes of the same droning drivel every post-metal band has already done.

    #TeamBereave

    • The campaign is working. California will not stand in the way of the inevitable.

      • If they can take down the number one seed it’ll be a real testament to their jamz.

      • Mother Shabubu 8

        The campaign will work until we reach Florida. Fishy things happen to votes when it comes to Florida.

        • Herr Schmitty

          Ain’t that the damned truth.

        • The Supreme Court ov The Toilet will see to it that there is no foul play.

          • I dunno man. Masterlord would sell his vote for a taco.

          • For shame!

          • Herr Schmitty

            I mean, you live in the Tex-Mex capital of the world. Surely you understand that a good taco is worth its weight in gold?

          • Stockhausen

            I got Masterlord to vote my way by emailing him a high five. He doesn’t even know how high fives work, or emails.

          • Lacertilian

            *hastily makes the word Borealis out of burritos for @masterlordsteeldragon:disqus*

  • Things:
    Kinda bummed Solaire and Horseburner got the axe.
    Eternal Khan kicked the shit out of Thorr-Axe despite Thorr-Axe having like 10x as many fb fans.
    Some of these bands will have a massive uphill battle the entire way though.

  • HessianHunter

    Man, The Seduction fuckin’ parties. Love it.

    • Listen to “The Flood” if you haven’t yet. That’s the one that really grooves me.

    • They remind me of Everytime I Die with just about all the hardcore taken out. Got my vote of course.

    • If you ever get the chance, they party way harder live

  • #TeamTheSeduction over here! Vote it for fuzzy badass music!

    https://theseduction.bandcamp.com/

    • Sir Tapir The Based :]

      Goddammit Link, you chose the wrong band!
      #TeamSylvia

  • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

    More proof of NCs greatness

    • Herr Schmitty

      Indeed, I’d be proud to lose to the State o’ Maine in round 2 as well 🙂

      • JWEG

        It’s so lonely…

  • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

    Lunch time, so here is a heart attack. Total death.

    http://cdn.foodbeast.com/content/uploads/2015/08/Bacon-Dog-Bun.jpg

    • Mother Shabubu 8

      Engorge my friends, engorge. For death is the only certainty.

  • Herr Schmitty

    Sylvia’s excellent for real though; damn fun live performance and nice people in the band. Most of those dudes are in 1,000 other Portland bands.

    • Vote for Jeb

      Tell those jabronis that they need to make it possible to link to them on FB. It’s impossible to link a band called “Sylvia”.

      • Herr Schmitty
        • Vote for Jeb

          Aye, I know what their page is, but it’s impossible to pull it up with @Sylvia.

          • Herr Schmitty

            ? It worked for me on the first try, they popped up as the very top option when I typed ‘@Sylvia’. Maybe some weird facebook page-interaction bullshit?

          • Vote for Jeb

            Maybe. When posting the link for this article, I just could not get the server to find them, try as I might. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

          • Herr Schmitty

            In any case, I linked it to their page and one of their fans has replied- Sylvia Army is mobilized!

          • Vote for Jeb

            Goodonya. Didn’t want them to think any chicanery was afoot. I genuinely tried.

  • KJM

    ALL the witches, every last one.

  • Howard Dean

    It’s pretty incredible (and quite disappointing) that so many of these bands that have advanced in this contest are the typical “kinda-post-hardcore sludgy-not-quite-doom” sound that has become a trademark of American metal in the 2010’s. Wishing there was more variety, and maybe a little more filthy black and death metal. Oh well. Whatever floats your catamarans.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Good point. My band did not make the cut long ago. It’s black thrash…

      • Vote for Jeb

        I’m pretty sure that was a misunderstanding. I don’t remember the conversation, but I remember thinking that you didn’t want your band included.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Shit, I can’t remember, maybe that was the case. Though I know Joe posted one of our tracks when this first started. Oh well….

          • Vote for Jeb

            I know y’all weren’t in the initial pool when we voted, but my understanding is that you wanted to stay on the DL. Sorry if that wasn’t the case. It was a misunderstanding on our part, I guess.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Hey, no biggie at all. I was just commenting. And yes, as you know, I prefer the void.

          • Vote for Jeb

            The void is our shepherd.

          • You guys def would have won the state by a long shot.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            Agreed.

          • Herr Schmitty

            You’re not kidding. Michigan is the void (of quality metal) incarnate.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Thanks for the kind words dude.

      • RJA

        may I ask the name of your band? don’t worry, I won’t like it.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          I’d rather not say. If you want W. can send it along to you. He did for Link a while back, I believe. I look forward to your disdain of said band.

          • RJA

            I respect that. Of course now that you didn’t tell me I want to hear it way more than I did before.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Hahaha. Sorry.

          • RJA

            I believe I found it – I mean it has to be your band. I just gave you or somebody else $6. Either way that $6 should change somebody’s life.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            Email me here: grindblaster88@gmail.com

            I’ll send the band name to you.

        • Periphery

    • ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ so much

    • the fact that they remain unsigned says something about the free arm of the market

      • Howard Dean

        JJM dropping a trvth bomb! That’s a good observation.

  • JWEG

    I expect to be obsessively invested in Round 2 Part 2.

  • Mxxk Bxnxntxn™

    Now do I want to Destroy Judas or do I want to Bereave?

    • Sir Tapir The Based :]

      You have to Bereave. There are no other options.

    • When in doubt, you must Bereave.

    • Dagon

      I think Judas is in order for destruction. Mofo had it coming, snitching on his boy and all.

  • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

    Does any one else get some what furious when you walk in the entrance door or out the exit door of a convenient store and some jackass decides to enter through the opposite door because they can’t read “Enter” or “Exit”. I have to move out the way or wait for that person to enter or exit through because they just have to be that guy/gal. It’s a very little pet peeve of mine, but it makes me want to unleash hell sometimes.

    Anyways, there you have it. Have a wonderful afternoon and makes lots of farts.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Yeah. Like you said, it’s a small thing… but it also shows that that entitled dickwad refuses to participate in any social convention that makes things easier for everyone, choosing instead to be a dick and inconvenience anyone possible because ???.

    • Mine is when someone puts their blinker on to switch lanes and you give them room to move. They then proceed to sit there with the blinker on. I wait 5 seconds and if they haven’t moved, fuck em’.

    • KJM

      My favorites are the geniuses who don’t understand the whole “no turn on red” thing, especially when there are multiple signs posted.

      • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

        GOOD ONE! Also people that don’t pull up far enough to let people behind them turn right.

    • Lacertilian

      The situation is worsened when said jackass is in a car and you’re trying to enter a carpark.

  • YES MY POWER METAL BRETHREN ADVANCE TO ROUND TWO

    • J.R.™

      THEYRE RIDING HIGH ON WINGS OF STEEL

  • DCLXVI

    Dues Ex sounds like a diesel motor

  • Just realized I have to change my Disqus handle because Reproacher did not advance. Very sad.

  • Waynecro

    Some of these were very close. I spent far too much time making up my mind. Serious business.