Win A Download Of Elder’s New Album With Your Verdant Imagination


You know when you cut your hair short with the intention of letting it grow back out and you get to experience all of the in-between hairstyles, like raggy helmet-head and the shaggy just-below-the-ears mop? That’s basically what Massachusetts’ own Elder has been up to musically for their last few albums. They seem to have a twenty year plan to evolve, at a leisurely pace, from true-blue stoner doom to pure progressive metal. Ten years into their career and we’re experiencing the stylings of a band with roots buried firmly in Electric Wizard soil and branches reaching towards a Mastodon sky.

Their new album Reflections of a Floating World is hot off the presses this week and continues their experimental voyage into dimensions unknown. “Reflections” sails effervescent, psychedelic waters in a craft laden with dense, headbanging stoner riffs. It’s an album best enjoyed with the car windows down on a straightaway, beneath a blue sky and strange-looking clouds, or maybe laid out in tall grass with that cheap beer you drink when you’re sure no hipsters are watching you.

To win a download of Reflections Of A Floating World read the prompt below and answer the final question in the comments. The funniest answer will receive an official mp3 download, and the best serious answer will receive a sexy Bandcamp code. Three days after publication, the winners will be selected.

Finally, some time to yourself. A walk on the beach feels like the perfect succor for an aching heart and a tired mind, and you know just the place. The sand is so soft and warm here that you walk your shoes back to the car, tossing them onto the passenger seat. When you return, your feet sink into the balmy dunes with each step. They engulf your toes and brush the bottoms of your pant legs. Hitting a seashell, you recoil, expecting a sharp edge. Instead, it’s smooth. It looks old.

Heading towards the harder sand near the water, your gaze falls on a cresting wave. The water is so unusually clear, you think you see movement in it. Pausing, you wait for another swell. As the water rises, you see a school of fish riding the curl. Each one is facing forward. Are they looking at you? Do they notice you looking at them?

As your walk continues, the rhythmic crashing of the tide begins to sync up with your breathing. Anxieties retreat to the back of your mind and fade. The emotional shackles of a nonsensical social landscape, brutal politics, and the persistent and hateful specter of money slip off one by one, each lightening your load and quickening your steps. The din of the modern apocalypse is slowly smothered in a patient, aqueous pulse.

You spot something on the path ahead. It looks like a cube, and it’s definitely out of place. Time to investigate.

Meeting the strange shape, you take your time drinking it in. It’s a huge box made from some sort of crystalline material. The cut of the substance twists light into a rainbow of colors and stretches it in unexpected ways, into unexpected places. Is this light pouring into the block, or out of it? Every subtle movement of your eyes and body distorts and re-forms the shimmering maze within.

After a few moments of studying, you spot a crack. Losing track of it in the shimmer, you reach out and run your hand along the flank of the object. It’s cold. The crevice you glimpsed was part of a larger fissure. Does this thing have a lid? Pushing your fingers into the cleft, you lift. It opens, surprisingly light. The contents of the crystal cube come into view.

Contest prompt: What’s in the box? Write your answer in the comments.

Photos via the Elder Facebook page

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  • Eliza

    My hopes and dreams.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Her hopes and dreams

      • In My Dreams, Dokken.


        • Eliza

          Dream Warriors, Dokken.



          • Guppusmaximus

            Sorry GL, but ….

            Dream Warriors >>>> In My Dreams 🙂

  • Elegant Gazing Globe
  • it’s a crate full of unsold copies of Chinese Democracy

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ


      • Eliza

        I usually forget this album exists and I just remembered why.

  • Howard Dean
    • Howard Dean

      Aw man, who could possibly downvote the BSP? It’s the best trick since “I’m here to fix the cable.”

      [insert Logjammin’ joke here]

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    The new Tool album.

  • Joaquin Stick

    Pulling out items one by one, I realize that it’s the physical manifestation of my incompetence. Miles of unfinished short stories, bookcases of classic novels I’ll never get to, a plaque with the number of hours wasted on video games, the omelets that I gave up on and turned into scrambled eggs. Anxiety rises with each item removed. On the verge of collapse, I decide to stop and stand up, taking in the scene around me. I carefully put everything in the box, promising to get back to each item with a careful whisper. I remove my shorts, take a steaming dump in the box, reseal the lid and then kick it over. I grab a beer and take nap.

    PS, this Elder album kicks megabuttz. So good!

  • Howard Dean

    What’s in the box?

    Brad Pitt’s stolen Oscar.

    • Count_Breznak

      Let’s go with the theme:
      Masterlord’s Head.

  • tigeraid

    IT’S DIGNITY! Don’t you know dignity when you see it?!

  • Howard Dean


    • Howard Dean


  • Maj. Garland Briggs

    The head of Alfredo Garcia?

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    Glistening steel.

  • JWG

    Verdant Imagination, of course. Manifest:

    Was totally going to ‘shop this myself, but decided to be lazy. Which is why I need the album: my brain is more mulch than verdant.

    You could almost say “compost mentis”…

  • Brock Samson

    It’s a copy of the new Elder album, duh

  • A box full of farts!


  • InfinityOfThoughts

    The two little princesses who sing the Mothra theme.

  • Hans

    Inside is a resplendent creature of such magnificent beauty that you begin to gently weep.

  • Dumpster Lung

    I’ll mull this over, re-read it, and come up with a proper response later. Just gotta say holy fuck dude, love your writing! I missed the one between this and that Retrosynth Roundup about a month ago. I gotta catch up!

    • Decapitron

      Thanks, homie!

  • A fortune cookie.
    Inside the fortune cookie, a small torn piece of toilet paper with one word hastily scrawled across it: “lolbuttz”

  • Guppusmaximus

    A cat…living & dead in equal parts.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    The box unfolds all around you granting you exclusive access to a private viewing of the moment of your own conception with one crucial choice given to you. The ability to end your own existence before it began. If you choose this your fading reality melds into a strange plane of the universe wherein paradoxical existences can be sustained. Upon arrival, You take the form of a crystalline box with rainbow abilities, dwindling in between time waiting to present the next lost soul with the same choice. Otherwise, you watch your parents bang and have to live with that for the rest of your life.

  • Lone Biker of the Apocalypse
  • CT-12

    More of that sweet, sweet LSD you were taking

  • Maj. Garland Briggs
  • Daniel Delgadillo

    An Atlanta Falcons, Superbowl Champions 2017 shirt, autographed by Bill Cosby and Tim Lambesis

    • Welcome to the Toilet!

      • Daniel Delgadillo

        Thank you very much. I’ve been part of the FB group for a while now, but whenever I went to the website my computer freaked out, but I just got a new computer, so I’m finally in.

  • EsusMoose

    The Aristocats

  • more beer

    There is nothing in the fucking box!

  • Jorl

    Inside, i find it: surprising like a bolt of lightning at clear mid day, yet familiar like shivelight from beneath the branches of pine.

    The entire discography of Dream Theater, contained on a USB-stick in the shape of John Petruccis moustache.

    I sigh my sigh of relief, I finally seem te see the bigger picture.

    • Decapitron

      Hey man, you’re my “funny answer” winner. Maddogging Dream Theater is always hilarious. Email me at “” for your code.

  • Doc Torluv

    Joey DeMaio’s loincloth.

  • HessianHunter
  • HessianHunter

    The pearlescent box is empty, insofar as a magnifying glass or telescope is “empty” – upon gazing into the cube, I am instantly aware I that it acts as a sort of temporal viewfinder to see the Earth’s history from the Beginning Times unto the End Of Days, all viewed from the perspective of the Great Seas.

    I see the earliest happenings of the Beginning Times, when a young, boiling hot Mother Gaea finally cooled such that the infinite haze of steam belched from frothing volcanos became clouds, became droplets, became rain, became a lake, became the Great Seas. I saw the leylines originate as solitary, pulsing auroras spontaneously erupting from the Great Seas until they stretched themselves across the yawning void of an early, barren sky, leaving indelible scars on the earth wherever they crossed paths. Where leylines cross, trenches are cut, islands are crushed, the air is fouled.

    I see the origin and subsequent explosion of life – a dense web of activity greater still than the sum of its innumerable parts. A terrifying sight to behold, it is a vicious, ignoble machine that cares not for any individual component of itself except inasmuch as every one must follow this unbreakable law: “Conquer, or perish.”

    The web stretches and stretches until it… ends. Not at a particular place, but a particular time. Fire rains from the sky, and the tepid ocean acidifies. Mcroorganisms disintegrate as acrid plumes of biological waste upon which all the Great Sea’s fish and cetaceans and arthropods suddenly choke. Bloated bodies rise to the surface of an hypersaline ocean – as they contact the horrific, charred air, soft flesh melts away and freshly raw skeletons sink yet again. On a lonely beach, loose sand melts into an obsidian-smooth glassy plane. The skeleton of a bipedal primate clutches a multidimensional prismatic cube, the skull permanently fixed in a gaping, toothy grin while nearby remnants of tree stumps smolder and rot.

    • HessianHunter

      Wtf did I just do, I was supposed to be working for the past hour

      • Hans

        Looks like you have been!

    • Dumpster Lung


      • HessianHunter

        You are too kind

    • Decapitron

      Yo, you’re the serious answer winner by a landslide. Email me at “” and I’ll send you your bandcamp code.