Why Haven’t You Sent Me Your Unsigned Band Yet?

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Last week we asked you guys to help us find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. Some of you stepped up and suggested some great bands! Some of you emailed me your own bands! Thanks guys, I really appreciate it! However, some of you sat on your hands and did nothing. Shame on you. I hope you spill mustard on a new pair of Dockers.

So far we’ve got some really great bands in the running. We want to start picking our favorites soon but first we’ll need more submissions. We are open to your suggestions for any state but right now we don’t have ANY submissions for the following states:

  • Alabama
  • Delaware
  • Montana
  • Nebraska
  • South Dakota
  • Tennesee
  • West Virginia
  • Wyoming
  • Hawaii

If you live in one of these states STEP IT UP. Do you really want to be known as the least-metal links of the Union? smh.

To refresh your memories, here are the rules of the competition:

HOW IT WORKS:

  • The writers and commenters here at the Toilet will listen to your submissions and determine the best unsigned band in each state.
  • We will give every state-winner a feature on Toilet ov Hell where we highlight what makes them the best in the state.
  • When all 50 states are accounted for, we’re throwing all of them into a bracket and determining the best unsigned band in the USA (and by extension, the greatest state in the union).

INSTRUCTIONS:

  • If you want to nominate a band, leave a comment below with the band, the state, a place to listen to the music and WHY you think they’re the best band in the state.
  • If you want to submit your band, email us at toiletovhell@gmail.com. In the subject line, include the state you hail from. In the body, give us a link to a place where we can stream your tunes.
  • Are you an unsigned band that plays some form of metal/punk/experimental? Submit! If you’re the only band on your buddy Todd’s record label, you can still submit. If your band sucks, don’t submit!

So there you have it. Leave some siqq bands in the comments. I leave you with one of my favorite finds so far – Mysophilia from Michigan. Here’s their demo Atomik Hatefukk:

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  • Wyoming doesn’t have people.

    • Bözlinger©

      not a real place

      • KJM

        Just like Finland? ^_^

        • Metaphysical Anus

          Erittäin hyvin sanottu.

          • KJM

            ^_^ Most days I’m convinced The US is imaginary too.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            But this is reality.

          • KJM

            O_O

          • Tyree

            That dog, the one to the left looks incredibly stunned.

          • Edward Meehan

            I thought the tee shirt dog face was a dog first wearing a dog hat lol wut

          • Metaphysical Anus

            He’s seen some shit!

          • Edward Meehan

            That is truly frightening.

    • Randall Thor

      Another imaginary state set up by the NWO and Illuminati

      • Guacamole Jim

        I read “NWA and Illuminati” and was disappointed when I discovered my error.

        • Xan

          I did the same thing.

        • Jormungandr

          Wait. I thought they were straight outta Cheyenne?

        • KJM

          Straight outta Bavaria!

  • Guacamole Jim

    I’m in Canada 🙁

    • We’ve got a ton of Canadians here. Might have to run the best band for each province after this!

      • Guacamole Jim

        I’m totally down!! Also territories, but it’s doubtful as to whether or not there any any metal bands from them at all.

        • Howard Dean

          I nominate J-Roc and the Rocpile from Nova Scotia.

          • Scrimm
          • Howard Dean

            “I spin more rhymes than a lazy susan, and I’m innocent until my guilt is proven. Peace. Representin’ Sunnyvale straight the fuck up.”

          • Scrimm

            Season 8 on Netflix today!! IM SO HAPPY!

          • WTF new season? how did i not know this?

            AAAAAAAND a new movie?

          • Scrimm

            Yes. The guys also did another movie called swearnet and season 9 is coming!

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            i saw them live once. Pretty funny audience participation stuff. They were selling hot dogs to the audience for 5 bucks and then the venue staff came and told the people to go out in the hallway and eat it because there was no food allowed in the auditorium. ( almost all of it was improvised)

          • Scrimm

            Hahaha I’d go if they came here.

    • Do you know the location of the secret underground death metal factory?

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      where are you , i’m in the godless wastes of saskatchewan.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Edmonton, Alberta. Also Godless, but not as much wastes.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          You get a lot of shows then, the only one that gets more is vancouver. I have been to edmonton for a few shows over the years. Not many because it’s an expense for me. Saw rogers waters there in 2007 and 2012 for the wall tour. Will have to hit the city again if the rush 41st anniversary tour doesn’t stop in SK. Nice city, i like it more than calgary.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Yeah, it’s not bad for shows. I was at both of those Roger Waters shows too!! I prefer it over Calgary, less flooding haha

  • Tyree

    Mysophilia fucking suck! What a bunch of cvnting lifelovers.

    • Edward Meehan

      *lifefuckers

      • *lifefuckers™

        • Edward Meehan

          It occurred to me that lifefuckers actually works here because Mysophilia don’t actually suck, lol.

          • Tyree

            Yeah they do.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          *lifeshrekers

          • Edward Meehan

            *lifefvckers

          • Tyree

            I dig it Edward. I’ll make a T-shirt just for you.

          • Edward Meehan

            … but your time is ogre.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            You really like that one, huh?

          • Edward Meehan

            lol yeah.

          • Edward Meehan

            Someone should make more Shrek Jesus ones like a series.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            What about Shrek and Allah crossover? Or Shrek and Muhammad?

          • Edward Meehan

            I’d have to see it but it could work.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            People might not want to draw Shrek and Muhammad crossover.

          • Metaphysical Anus
          • Edward Meehan

            There is a never ending supply of weirdness and or sex related materials on the internet. Limitless.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Thank you Rule 34!

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            ……

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            ……..

  • God

    Nice plug of king shit’s band

  • David Baker

    Take Over And Destroy aka TOAD from Arizona is one I forgot from last time. Imagine if The Doors starting playing black metal. Weird but amazing

    http://takeoveranddestroy.bandcamp.com/

    • Edward Meehan

      They got a lot of positive press last year, I didn’t realize they were still unsigned.

      • David Baker

        That’s why I didn’t put them on the original post last week because I thought they were signed. Then I checked it out and realized they aren’t so I think they are going to have a real chance at going all the way.

  • Unrelated: hilarious bug from the new Sims game lets you resize objects however you like. ToH Related gif: http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–3PbaTOkt–/guz8a54sm8te16yfdled.gif

    • It’s beautiful.

      • Guacamole Jim

        *wipes tear*

    • a bug in an EA game? WHAAAAAAAAT??

    • Truly glorious.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Blueprints for the future Toilet Ov Hell mansion.

    • Tyree

      Can you pick the toilet style too?! Killer.

    • Cock of Steele

      I envision a glorious future along the lines of this.

    • Mother Shabubu III

      The Twin Toilets.

      The way Toilet 2 is collapsing in that gif means only one thing: it was brought down from the inside with THERMITE DIARRHEA! MIND CONTROL! I know! I was a fighter. A governor. A navy shhheal!

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Dood, the government did it! People need to wake up!

        • Mother Shabubu III

          It was the Bilderbear group! They plan on eliminating everyone who is not a stuffed animal as part of their eugenics program!

          • *DEAD!*

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Sir, you have just won.

          • Mother Shabubu III

            You’ll thank me for this warning after their army of Teddy Ruxpins comes to start the great cull!

          • KJM

            Can I have a Bilderburger w/Cheese and the Agenda 21 lunch special to go, please?

          • Mother Shabubu III

            To beat the dead horse and be a total piece of shit: Twin Tower burger: a double patty burger with special Thermite sauce that will make your mouth burn and collapse to the ground with flavor. Then wash it down with an Applewhite Russian.

      • Howard Dean

        *slow clap* Quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.

    • for once we can say this in a positive note:
      thanks Obama!

  • God

    Why’d my comment get deleted? I thought everyone knew that.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    *spills mustard on new Dockers*


    goddamn you, Thrashnkill

    • Metaphysical Anus

      Hmmmmm, docking.

    • Howard Dean

      I did the same thing. Good thing Dockers offers those stain-resistant geriatric pants for all the incontinent old fucks who piss on the front. Just wipe that mustard/piss off and walk away!

      • CyberneticOrganism

        The only thing better than Dockers are pleated jeans.

        • Howard Dean

          MmmMmm. Pleated jeans. I wear them with my Velcro shoes. I also use a shoehorn to put my shoes on.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Same! Do you tuck your sweaters into your pants too? Man, why don’t more people do that?

          • Howard Dean

            I actually tuck my sweaters into my adult diaper. Trve kvlt.

  • KJM

    Sorry about that, too busy rustling jimmies over at That Other Site.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      So am i, did you see that epic blake judd impersonation i had going , it was going so well until i forgot to change from chrome to explorer and made my judd comments as CTMK, hahahhahhah, classic fuck up, a real shame too, i had a lot of people going.

      • Scrimm

        HAHAHAHAHA good stuff. The fuck up was good too.

      • KJM

        Yeah, I asked where I could score some Opana.

      • Max

        This I gotta see…

  • God

    Alright @thrashnkill. What gives?

    • HEY. We’re trying to keep things anonymous, at least for the people that don’t know.

      • God

        My bad. He just posted it on Facebook so I thought it was common knowledge by now.

    • …the first person to get upset with Joe.

      • God

        I wasn’t upset. Just curious. Alls good now.

        • good call. i should have known: noone’s ever been upset with Joe.

          • God

            I <3 joe

  • Squibble Skwonk
  • I’ve searched for various state-related metal groups on FB and posted the link. Hopefully that brings in some more submissions.

  • BTW: If you want to be my personal hero and friend to the Toilet, please share this post on your facebooks and or twitters and such.

    • Tyree

      Donzo.

    • KJM

      Done.

      Also, people are welcome to add me on Twitter if they like. Just look for KJM or @KerrAvon666. It’s the only social media I do besides Tumblr & Diaspora.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        just followed you

    • Mother Shabubu III

      I want to write a “fuck you” piece to Metalsucks and their Babymetal worship by writing an article with Japanese bands that actually deserve more Western recognition (Sigh, Boredoms, Boris, etc…). If I wasn’t a procrastinator, I’d have it done already.

      • Whenever you get it written up, just shoot me an email and we can figure out the next steps!

        • Mother Shabubu III

          I’ll write it up and include the YouTube links/etc where I’m gonna put them. Thanks man!

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Sent the email now. Should be a gmail address with the subject line of “Article I wrote about a few Japanese bands. -MSIII”.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Great idea!

        • Mother Shabubu III

          It is, but you probably will hate all the bands but Sigh, lol.

          • (he likes the “fuck you” to MS part… we all do)

          • Elizabeth Short

            Gunship 666. Such fun times.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Hahaha. I’m actually not well versed in a lot of Japanese bands. That being said I do own Sigh’s first album. Shocking, I know.

          • SABBAT, KSOFM.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Fucking hell. How could I forget Sabbat?

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        I have a theory that the whole babymetal thing is just a gigantic troll by vince to increase traffic and he doesn’t even like them. It’s just something that goes through my mind every once in a while.

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Wouldn’t put it passed him. I don’t mind Vince. He’s alright, it’s not so much him I’d be “fuck youing” even if he is co-owner. Axl seems like the Opie of Metalsucks.

        • more beer

          No I think he`s a pedophile with an Asian Fetish.

        • Rizzle01

          I’ve often wondered that myself but I think more beer is probably correct.

    • JWG

      I shared it with a pair of ‘Meetup’ groups, though view count on the posts is still single digits.

      If you get a massive bunch of WA entries all of a sudden I claum credit. Even if it’s just a coincidence.

    • Scrimm

      Alright you guys have talked me into it, I’ll post a couple tracks from my side project. I’ll let you know when they are up.

    • Scrimm

      Oh here it goes. I have a love hate relationship with this stuff cause it was just a few songs we put together in a couple weeks when we started the project to see what we could do. I kind of cringe at putting this out there. The band name is Morningside, obviously based of Phantasm.

      https://soundcloud.com/priest-of-leng/morningside-scrimm-demo-03-undead-slavery

      https://soundcloud.com/priest-of-leng/morningside-scrimm-demo-02-meatwagon

      • everyone is his or her own greatest critic. 9/10, would rocket.
        does it fall into one of the remaining states?

        • Scrimm

          Thanks man! No, unfortunately it doesn’t. Arizona.

  • Tyree

    Symptom from Porland Oregon play some bleak heavy doomy sounding Death metal. Not sure if I posted them before but here it is anyways. https://churchofdaggers.bandcamp.com/album/caverns-of-katabasis

  • Quarter Ounce Harrell

    FistHammer from PA. opened for morbid angel rivers of nihil and cannibal corpse. they live down the street from me as well, good people.

    http://fisthammer.bandcamp.com/album/devour-all-you-see

  • xXEmooKiddXx

    Throne of Decay from Columbus, Ohio – Death Metal (with blackened sprinkles)http://www.reverbnation.com/throneofdecay

  • crazytaco_12

    MONTANA

    Shramana (post/sludge): http://shramana.bandcamp.com/album/toska-ep

  • crazytaco_12

    ARKANSAS

    Apothecary (death/doom): http://apothecaryar.bandcamp.com/

  • crazytaco_12

    OREGON

    Only Zuul (tech death): http://onlyzuul.bandcamp.com/album/only-zuul

    Echoic (tech death/osdm): https://soundcloud.com/echoicmetal

  • crazytaco_12

    IDAHO

    Mortal Ashes (death/thrash – go to their bandpage if the link just takes you to facebook): https://www.facebook.com/MortalAshesMetal/app_178091127385

    End of All Flesh (brutal prog death): http://www.reverbnation.com/endofallflesh

    Krystos (thrash – go the “media” tab if it doesn’t link automatically): http://www.krystosmetal.com/?page_id=26

  • crazytaco_12

    ALABAMA

    Of Men and Angel’s Flesh (prog death/thrash): http://omaaf.bandcamp.com/track/architecture

  • crazytaco_12

    DELAWARE

    Splitwig (brutal death): http://www.reverbnation.com/splitwig

  • crazytaco_12

    NEBRASKA

    Megaton (sludge/heavy/stoner): http://megatonomaha.bandcamp.com/

    Here’s a comp of Nebraska metal bands: http://nebraskastonersludgeanddoommetalassociation.bandcamp.com/releases

  • J.R.

    As an Alabamian, I would love to contribute to the great Toilet list, yet the only local “bands” i know of are either ones I think are trash, or (as in my case) wallowing in infancy.
    Flush on!

  • Rob M

    WEST VIRGINIA

    Raven Mocker (black/death) – https://soundcloud.com/ravenmocker

  • Rob M

    MONTANA

    WarCry (crossover/doom) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=931780

    Martriden (prog/black/death) https://myspace.com/martriden

    Judgement Hammer (thrash) http://www.reverbnation.com/judgmenthammer

    Nequiter (black/death) http://www.reverbnation.com/nequiter