Who is selling these bootleg-ass Amon Amarth Shirts?

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If you’re the kinda sucker sweet soul that doesn’t use Adblock and you happen to “Like” Amon Amarth on Facebook, you might have seen this ad on Facebook hawking this t-shirt featuring Amon Amarth lyrics.

Have you seen this ad? A few of our readers have. Let’s take a look:

bullshirt

TeeSpring, a site that [Note: pretend to care about what this site does], is currently offering up a shirt on their site featuring some lame male power fantasy siqq imagery on the front and this little nugget on the back. Let’s take a look.

back

I’m not trying to step on 365 Days of Horror‘s toes with his regular making-fun-of-terrible-merch column Shirt Stains, but this is straight wack as hell from a typographical perspective. Every other line of text is stretched to a different height and width. This looks like it took all of 30 seconds of prep in Microsoft Works Free Edition.

Oh yeah, and that line on the shirt “Odin! Guide our ships, our swords, axes and spears. Guide us through storms that stripe(?) and in brutal war” seems a little familiar. It appears to be a poorly transposed line from “The Pursuit of Vikings” by Amon Amarth. It should read:

Odin! Guide our ships
Our axes, spears and swords
Guide us through storms that whip
And in brutal war

 

I don’t think changing one word in a paragraph counts as an original idea, otherwise I’ve got a great tune penned. I call it “Jumping Joe Flash”. Did you know that you need permission to quote song lyrics in your own work? I would bet you need a lot of things signed by lawyers to use a band’s lyrics for your own personal financial gain. But, I’m sure it’s cool. The music industry isn’t known for being extremely litigious or anything.

This kinda seems like the equivalent of leaving a stadium show, walking through the parking lot, and seeing some shady dudes out hawking poorly-printed band t-shirts for cheap. Except the internet is a giant parking lot and these shirts aren’t even a little cheap. Twenty-three dollars? Fuck outta here, son. Go buy real merch from Amon Amarth for cheaper and actually support the band here. Or here. Or here.


A special thank you to JWG for pointing this out.