Who Invited Buzzkillington?

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Hey there, truest of the trve and cultest of the kvlt metalhead. You, yes you. With the bullet-belt, corpse-paint, and pig’s blood soaked kerchief. Do you like having fun? Of course you don’t! You’re a dyed-in-the-wool misanthrope who loathes the sweet caress of human contact and forgot what sunlight feels like on your pale skin. You hate fun because it reminds you of that time your jimmies caught frostbite when you got dragged to your Uncle Frankie’s house in Wisconsin for that festive holiday that appropriated your cherished pagan traditions. You dwell in darkness and obscurity in your parents’ basement dungeon. This post isn’t for you.

But for the rest of you normal flushers, you like fun. To you, fun means eating lots of barbecue, getting your pasty body in gear for some ultimate frisbee, and maybe even working up the courage to actually talk to that cute girl in your Chem 1407 class rather than just creepily sniffing her hair when you sit behind her in the lecture hall. Yeah, you totally dig fun.

There’s just one problem, though. You’re a metalhead! You don’t exactly listen to fun music. You dig lo-fi, obscure war-metal and technical blackened death metal released on indie labels. What’s a flusher to do?

Enter the W. I’m here to present to you some solid collections of fun metal spanning the last few decades. These are some solid records that will get your blood pumping and your hips thrusting. Consider it a reward for surviving a hot hot summer of honest labor. Now, I’m not going to talk about recent releases by Destrage, Mastodon, and Killer Be Killed that many of us agree are pretty groovy tunes. Instead, I’m going to share some classic albums and potential low-fliers that should get your weekend started right. Enjoy and share your own fun metal jams in the comments.

Motörhead – Overkill (1979)

Did everyone hear about that recent case where that old guy caused himself to bleed from his brain at a Motörhead concert? I guarantee you he had fun. Everyone loves Motörhead, even the most jaded non-metal fans, and Lemmy is totally the master of having a good time. This is great party music for moshing with your bros (genuinely regarded as fun), so I suggest you start any weekend thrashers with this album.

Death Angel – The Ultraviolence (1987)

All metalheads know that thrash metal is the most fun of all subgenres because it leads to head-bangin’, moshin’, and partyin’. Although there are about a billion thrash metal bands that have written fun tunes, I’m going to stick with The Ultraviolence because of the raw testosterone that fueled it. Death Angel were just kids when they wrote this album, and everyone knows teenagers are super on-the-ball when it comes to partying. Death Angel mastered the riffs on their very first album, and they’ve been riding their own fun coat-tails since.

Corrosion of Conformity – Deliverance (1994)

This might be blasphemy, but I prefer the Pepper Keenan, southern-rock era of CoC. Those riffs! Those vocals! Albatross was pretty much the soundtrack to my summer years ago, and it reminds me of a party after which I upchucked a Monte Christo off of a bridge. This whole album is packed with winners, so if you’ve never heard it, repent now and responsibly enjoy some adult beverages with your buds.

Hammerfall – Legacy of Kings (1998)

I’m going to be honest. I have a love-hate relationship with Power Metal. I love the bombast, the soaring vocals, and the way songs of swords and sorcery touch my inner nerd. Unfortunately, the cheese often becomes unbearable for some bands. But not for Hammerfall. These pure Swedish templars know how to write blazing riffs, pummeling drums, and choruses sure to latch their claws in your medulla oblongata. I dare you to listen to “Heeding the Call” and not find yourself clad in armor and slaying posers who don’t love fun.

Orange Goblin – Healing through Fire (2007)

Here’s another blues-soaked, beer-guzzling southern metal album, but this one hails from jolly-ol’ England. Weird, right? But still, this album is a winner and makes a great soundtrack for launching off a rope-swing and catching some sweet wakes. Plus, that harmonica lead on the final track is killer. “Beginner’s Guide to Suicide” is like “Free Bird” written for metalheads.

The Monolith Deathcult – Tetragrammaton (2013)

Death metal? Fun? Are you nuts, W.? Yes, but just hear me out. Tetragrammaton flew under the radar of a lot of people last year, and that’s a crying shame. This album is fun because of the sheer ridiculousness involved. Between the searing guitar leads, blast beats, and guttural growls, there’s a significant amount of clever, tongue-in-cheek humor. You’ll start to seriously question your life decisions when Optimus Prime starts quoting Caligula to you over audio samples from Independence Day, but then the humor sets in, and you won’t even bat an eye when The Bible and MLK pop up in the next track. Everyone knows funny things are fun, so get in on the joke and enjoy this meta-satire of your favorite subgenere.

Tengger Cavalry – Ancient Call (2014)

Folk metal is often beloved by fun-loving pagans who wear hemp and don’t shower, and there isn’t much wrong with that. However, most folk metal goes too heavy-handed on the folk and too light on the metal, resulting in a big, smelly mess. I can’t say the same of Ancient Call, the newest album by China’s Tengger Cavalry. The thundering riffs and double-bass are led by soaring horse-head fiddle melodies that don’t steal from the pulse of the metal. These are fun, adventurous songs perfect for horseback riding, camping, and LARPing if you’re into that sort of thing. I love this album, and it’s sure to make your weekend fun.

**BONUS ROUND**

Andrew W. K. – I Get Wet (2001)

This isn’t metal per se, but a list of fun albums wouldn’t be complete without a mention of Andrew W. K.’s “I Get Wet”. Mr. W. K. (or Steev Mike if you believe the conspiracy theories) is the single greatest authority on partying the world has ever known, and “I Get Wet” is the single greatest party album ever written. This album will have you dancing in front of your cat like a loon or till-hammering until you can’t feel anything, so put it on and party. As Andrew W. K. said in a recent Reddit AMA, “You should party as hard as you want. Then party a little harder.” Have a fun fun fun day.

(Photo VIA)

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  • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

    Quality post Dubya. But I’m a little concerned about something:

    • W.

      It’s all for you, Damian!

  • Mook Styfawker

    The song Overkill is, in my words, one of the definitive “get up and feel good” songs ever written and recorded. “Only way to feel the noise is when it’s good and loud” indeed. Matched up with the rest of album being full of nothing short of good songs and fantastic ones like Damage Case, anyone who doesn’t enjoy that album can fuck themselves to hell.

  • Tyree

    I LOVE BARBECUE AND HIP THRUSTING! I thrust my hips to this song while barbecuing with a cold beer in my hand.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-InYSIs1Qo

    • W.
      • Tyree

        Party like it’s 1999!

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          what a strange dude, but not only he is a good songwriter, far above average shredder, here he looks like nothing less than a black paul stanley. Plus he was about the only person able to get away with changing his name to a symbol and not get laughed out of the music business. Hate his music though.

      • THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!

        GL

      • Mr. Bojangles

        Thank god for posting this again. I lost it.

        • W.

          This is one of the best gifs I have ever seen, so I enjoy using it as often as I can.

        • GL

          • Stockhausen

            GL’s got you cornered, Bojangles!

          • Mr. Bojangles

            You seem mad.

            -Mr. Bojangles

          • GL

      • just lost it at work because of this… caught many stink eyes from those around me

  • I fucking worship Andrew W.K.
    EDIT: Hey, I’m wearing my The Ultra-Violence shirt today!

    • W.

      The night before I defended my thesis, I seriously listened to I Get Wet on repeat for a few hours.

    • Mook Styfawker

      I was seriously mopping my floors to Ready to Die and other songs from the album two hours ago. The one time I wished my bucket was full of blood.

    • Xan

      I’m sporting my The Ultra-Violence thong.

    • EsusMoose

      My pre-exam music has been most of I Get Wet, nothing makes the growing fear that the other hundred people probably studied more than me, go away like party. Guess that album is getting added to today’s soundtrack

    • Mr. Bojangles

      Soon you will worship me.

      -Mr. Bojangles

  • Paris Hilton

    BBQs are the fucking best! Nothin’ beats fun tunes (usually Ke$ha when I’m getting my drink and tokes on), fun people, a case of ice cold beer, and some fresh moose steaks on the grill! It’s Friday motherfuckers! Let’s get our drink on!!!

    • KJM

      Everything tastes better cooked on a grill.

      • Paris Hilton

        You’d better believe it!! Who could say no to BBQ potatoes? Fucking nobody, that’s who!

        • W.

          I love grilled pineapple.

          • I love grilled deer burgers.

            GL

          • Paris Hilton

            Grilled deer sausage! Fuck me, I’m starving now! TOH really needs a cooking post. IDK about you guys but I fucking LOVE cooking!

          • W.

            My wife and I cook all the time. I enjoy doing it, but I hate doing dishes.

          • Tyree

            I just throw my dishes in the Toilet Ov Hell. There is a beast that disposes of my dish cleaning efforts.

          • KJM

            Grilled Alligator sausage. YUM.

          • Paris Hilton

            I would straight up trade you some moose for some alligator haha

          • W.

            I made pulled pork the other week for the first time. The meat was great, but I accidentally over-salted the glaze. Doh!

          • Paris Hilton

            I usually eat wild meat! Pulled pork is delicious though I try to avoid pork as I used to work in pig factory farm. Nothing can ever gross me out again man haha. “Le epic bacon XD” isn’t so fucking epic when you’ve seen where it comes from haha

          • I don’t give a shit where bacon comes from. I’ll eat it.

          • Paris Hilton

            Fair enough! One perk of the job was using a literal Pig Destroyer. That’s metal as fuck!

          • W.

            Don’t tell me. Ignorance is bliss. Although I actually eat Turkey bacon most of the time.

          • Paris Hilton

            Yeah man, seriously. It’s fucked up. BUT!! I was a teenager who needed beer money and it’s all I had!

          • Say no more of the bearded assholes!

            http://diehipster.wordpress.com/

            GL

          • Paris Hilton

            Flower beards!? Fucking barf! That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.

          • Gloryhole Castration

            I have some tasty ideas, so I’m in on that! Pick a band/genre and make a dish based on that! Or have a post where everyone throws in their recipes just for the flush of it!

          • Paris Hilton

            YES! Deep fried wild fish and bananas are the fucking bomb too!

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            I’VE NEVER GRILLED BANANAS BUT NOW I’M SO HUNGRY AND I WANT THEM SO BAD OH MY LORD I’M GOING TO DIE OF STARVATION

      • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

        Are we talkin coal, electric, or propane? @Hank Hill is probably curious.

        • Paris Hilton

          Sweet Lady Propane for me

          • Shes hot yeah?

            GL

          • Paris Hilton

            I always taste the meat, not the heat!

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            I have to use an electric infrared grill because my fascist apartment complex won’t allow anything else :`(

          • Paris Hilton

            Them damn libtards not supporting our FREEDOM OF GRILLING!!! THANKS OBAMA!!!

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            First our healthcare, then our guns, and now our grills? Thanks, Obama.

          • KJM

            Dey took yer grillz!!

        • KJM

          Coal or propane.

      • The Prophet Mohammed

        Especially human flesh.

  • Kvelertak makes me want to party.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7sIqyoRFiU

    • I always ignored this band when it got posted on posersucks, this is actually good.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Love me some Kvelertak; party metal in the best possible way.

    • SMOHLG

      BLOD!!!
      TØRST!!!
      BLOD! TØRST!

  • KJM

    I was lucky enough to hang out with Lemmy a couple of times, once during an in-store at Strawberries Records(remember them?) and again at the show the next day. He didn’t even get mad when my friend beat him at Video Pinball 2 games straight.

    • W.

      Lemmy is probably going to party himself to death, then ascend to Asgard and chill with Val-Hallen, the Viking god of rock.

    • Mook Styfawker

      That. Is. Bad. Ass.

    • KJM

      This was Orgasmatron tour BTW.

  • SMOHLG

    This post just upped my wizard fire spells to 11!!! And again with the Tengger Cavalry <3 <3 <3

    • UnamusedMusician

      More like LarpBQ, AM I RITE!?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRQ6thP8D0w

    • W.

      I’m pretty sure I found out about Tengger Cavalry because I was creeping your bandcamp purchases.

      • SMOHLG

        It makes me feel special! And for the love of jebus have you looked into the previous album, The Expedition???

        • W.

          Actually, I haven’t yet 🙁

  • New Overkill has got me head-bobbing in my office as we speak (text?)–though they are still nicking old Metallica riffs.

    Also just listened to the new Wolvhammer, which is some quality Black N’ Roll!

    Also, I’m with ya on Pepper-Era COC, except for Blind, which is awesome (although he’s on that album, his presence hadn’t fully taken over yet). And I’m sorry punkers, but when Mike Dean starts singing, I’m out–the new stuff is terrible.

    • LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN

      ..

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        OVERKILL has never made a bad album. I would say DD. Verni is my favorite thrash bassist along with frank bello. One thing overkill and anthrax share. A person can ALWAYS hear the basslines in their songs.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      I went to see metallica just to see COC open , it was the huge metallica stage so luckily i picked the correct side of lars drum set , the side pepper was playing on. He stayed on our side for their super short set because we were making the most noise and knew the songs.

      • billnyhc

        I listened to Animosity last night as good as it was in 85!

      • Scrimm

        COC was the first live band I ever saw, Opening for Megadeth. I am going to the memorial tonight for the friend I went with. RIP brother.

  • SMOHLG

    This is the first song that came to mind. Always puts me in the mood for going out and having a good time/slaying my enemies https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=khMFfS62kWE

    • W.

      I actually was considering throwing Lai Lai Hei up in this post.

  • Destrage is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Anyone who disagrees can join me for a chat in the interrogation room!

    • See ya there! But in deference to many of you that insist it’s good, I will try to give it another shot.

      • Give the song are you kidding me no a chance, it’s nuts.

    • Destrage slay. Are you kidding me? No is ” best of the year” material.

  • Xan

    One of my favorite fun bands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud1DluFNCe0

    • Mook Styfawker

      ALL HAIL GWAR! Did you hear about Bishop as the new vocalist?

      • Xan

        I did not. I shall look forward to hearing how they sound now.

      • crazytaco_12

        woah woah woah, what? New vocalist? You gotta be fucking kidding me

  • KJM

    If I want Instant Summer, I put on Van Halen II.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmcsWEvic7Y

    • W.

      I used to always jam “Panama” after finishing an especially hard exam.

      • I order coffee beans to roast, and one of my favorites comes from Panama–I can’t help but poorly sing that chorus every time I open a box!

      • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

        There was a period of about 2 months where my best friend (also the guitarist in the band at the time) would sing just about everything we could to the tune of “Panama.” Shit got pretty silly.

    • Mr. Bojangles

      This is acceptable.

      -Mr. Bojangles.

    • FeelTheDarkness

      This album!!!! THIS ALBUM!!!!!!!!!

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      you nailed it. If you don’t have VH on hand this works in a pinch. Plus it puts a smile on one’s face as soon as they see the cover.

      • KJM

        Great video and an even better tour.

      • Max

        I like the anecdote about how DLR was editing one of his videos with sunglasses on and didn’t realize how much vivid over-colouration he was applying until he saw it on MTV later. But after that, he got an award from Kodak.

  • KJM

    However, this is the jam I want to hear right about now.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ckFuURIWXc

  • LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN

    W. how on earth could you forget that for FUN, we also enjoy ROLLING COAL BRO!

  • Saw Orange Goblin open for Clutch (which is also excellent party/drinking music) last time they came through, and they were awesome!

    • W.

      I love Clutch and listen to them frequently. However, I excluded them cuz metal.

      • They’re at least metal-adjacent as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know anybody that listens to metal that doesn’t like them too.

        Another good party metal contender is Monster Magnet.

        • W.

          True! When Earth Rocker came out, I played it in my car so much that I would catch my wife singing the title track.

          • Always a good sign when the wife digs it! Mine’s pretty cool about it in the car. She even recently said as we were listening to Allagaeon, “That drummer is awesome!”

            One of the first shows I took her to was a local Living Sacrifice show, but that was a little much for her at the time, so I changed my tactics. I took her to a Glassjaw show, and that seemed to open the door. She loves them and Every Time I Die, as well as Clutch.

            She has NO tolerance for Metallica though!

          • W.

            I took my wife to the Devin Townsend Project/Gojira show. She really enjoyed Devy’s set.

          • crazytaco_12

            My girlfriend took me to a Yob show a month or two ago. Then we both went to Wolves in the Throne Room about a week or so ago. Fuck yeah metal gf

        • KJM

          I saw Clutch open for Slayer. That’s definitely Metal adjacent.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          The magnet is great bong music too. I have every one of their eps and albums and i love everyone of them. My favorite album just might even be god says no. Its just wyndorfs most eclectic and fucked up work. But like i said, i can pick any MM cd out of a hat and be happy with what i get. The same goes for cathedral, E. wizard, joey era anthrax and overkill.

    • KJM

      These guys opened for Orange Goblin long ago.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJsIEOxkUik

  • Guppusmaximus

    I guess I’m not a trve Metalhead because I always loved me some Rap!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfTg4Fcza58

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYcroAb12n8

    • W.

      There are quite a few of us here who like rap (including me).

      • Paris Hilton

        Yeah TOH is surprisingly rap friendly. I love it!

        • W.

          I really got into it the summer I was living in Albuquerque for an internship. The other intern with whom I shared an office and I would regularly jam rap/death metal/classic rock in our cube.

          • Xan

            I’ve been known to get down with the dogg and doctor now and again.

          • The Prophet Mohammed

            Fact: Doggystyle is the greatest summer album to drive and get stoned to.

          • Classic album for sure, along with The Chronic of course (and I don’t even smoke out).

          • Guppusmaximus

            For the past couple of years, I’ve really dug Krizz Kaliko. He blurs the line of Rap & Rock but he’s a brutal Rapper and has a great voice for rock…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSCWOad0aqo

          • I like that, thanks!

          • Steve Smithwick

            Tech N9ne is good shit, mang.

        • Stockhausen

          I’ve given it some serious tries, but rap/hip hop have never clicked with me.

          • Paris Hilton

            It ain’t for everyone man! You always gotta do you

      • Mr. Bojangles

        racist

        -Mr. Bojangles

      • Between The Buried & Smee

        I listened to rap before I was into metal.

        EDIT: Still listen to it too

        • Sight Vnseen

          Death Row homie. Sounds like fifth grade. Regulators.

      • Scrimm

        I went to a Westside Connection show once.

    • KJM

      We like Rap/Hip Hop here at The Toilet. I posted that very song myself last week.

      • Guppusmaximus

        Sweet!! If you love Rap then you must love the Funk as well, right?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLJdwsXQ3fQ

        • These guys are fairly metal in attitude at least. I heard an urban legend about one of the members wanting to quit and the rest of them kidnapped him from his home and tied him up in a warehouse until he agreed to keep playing. Dunno if it’s true, but it’s a good story nonetheless.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Oh yea… They like the Ska, Punk, Metal & Funk. But it’s the fusion of these that made this particular album freaking brilliant! Completely blew my mind when I first heard it…

          • DeeSnarl

            I was a huge Fishbone fan in the 90s. Arguably the band of the decade for me….

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yea, I still listen to “Reality” almost daily. Such a diverse album. I loved it when they made it on “The Last Action Hero” Soundtrack..

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            When i got reality it took me awhile to wade thru it. The production was very claustrophobic and dense (maybe it was my stereo), just a very busy album, very unique. I had it on cassette and haven’t listened to it in decades.

        • W.

          I’m a fan. One of the best shows I’ve ever been to was George Clinton playing Funkadelic/Parliament material for like three hours. There were about 30 other musicians who wandered on and off the stage.

        • KJM

          Of course! I’ve seen George Clinton/P-Funk All-Stars, Original P, Bernie Worrell & The Woo Warriors. That’s enough Funk to tear the roof off of any mother sucker.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Both you & Dubya are more Funk than I. I am an RHCP (old), Fishbone, Prince(old) fan…

            *Bows Down*

          • KJM

            I like some RHCP & Prince as well. I was a teenager in the 80s. Avoiding Prince was impossible back then.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            I was into RHCP through mothers milk, then they got too polular and i dropped them and started to get into cypress hill. hahahhahh. Used to lift weights in the front yard , thought i was some kind of cool mexican tough guy. hahahhh

        • I saw Fishbone in ’93 and they were amazing. Amazing.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Never got to see them live but I know that what you say is true because their live recording are monstrous. They have no issues accurately reproducing their works… Amazing musicians!

          • crazytaco_12

            One of my favorite funk tracks ever, dat bassline http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v09bn0VaYGM

      • Mr. Bojangles

        You will stop liking rap and start listening to all country. Immediately.

        -Mr. Bojangles

        • KJM

          (sigh) Very well, my Master

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVHQsmIaDBY

          • I non-ironically love this shit.

            /back to moving heavy shit

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            I remember this was played day and night, crossed over onto the pop charts with kenny rogers and alabama for a while there in the early to mid 80’s. Islands in the stream, that was like a multiple crossover into country, pop, easy listening, adult contemporary, r & b, you name it.

        • Guppusmaximus

          I must follow suit… *bows down*

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTT2LEyjdC4

      • Bert Banana

        I haven’t seen this posted…NEW SHIT!

        http://youtu.be/PkWMpDdLe6s

    • crazytaco_12

      I usually never say I like rap, but that I like “hip hop” because usually when I say I like rap, people assume I like new school pop-hop shit.

  • Stockhausen

    As a dead German composer, I hate fun.

    • Tyree

      You are going to have fun and you are going to like it you grumpy ol dead guy.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Aww man, I thought this was going to be a post about how Drex found the site.

    Seriously though I hope Drex finds the site, his shit cracked me up.

    • Stockhausen

      Holy cow, if Drex showed up here I would never, ever leave.

      • W.

        What happened to him? Was his the first of the good columns that got snuffed out?

        • I also always dug Paul’s (from Cynic) Eastern philosophy posts, and of course Corey Mitchell’s Bleeders.

        • Stockhausen

          I think he sort of faded away on his own. I have some vague memory of the MetalSucks crew saying they also wish he was still around.

  • JWG

    Andrew W.K. is also very worth following on Twitter. His latest party advice has reached all the way down the animal kingdom to birds and insects…

  • Bob Nühart

    But my pig’s blood-soaked kerchief is the talk of the neighborhood’s garden parties, charity balls, and ice-cream socials!

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      Great to make your acquaintance mr. Nuhart. I enjoyed both your major sitcoms but i was not overly entertained by the one where you were a cartoonist working for a newspaper ( a little fuzzy on the specifics) But you redeemed yourself on the big bang theory ( which i will now humiliate myself myself by saying i enjoy and think its quite funny, plus 20 + points for the dim bulb blonde piece of a grade A ass penny. I like it because it gives a loser like me hope that he will too score a blonde babe. I also liked the show the king of queens with the morbidly obese kevin james who also got himself a sexy wife. Keeps my hopes alive.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        …..kaley cuoco you sexy little minx you, with your tight outfits and what not……

        • RomuluxX

          This is the only reason I have ever googled anything regarding that Big Bang Theory show

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            the tv networks know what they are doing. If some people aren’t laughing they cover their bases and put some hot tamale like this on the show. Then the guys that like young blonde sexy chicks will watch too, just to see her. They have me in their pocket. It took them six seasons to put her in a fucking bikini but when it happened it was worth it. This chick and taylor momsen from pretty reckless are just to my taste. I be killing my bros to have the honor to die for a hot girl like this.

  • Poop Mango

    “This might be blasphemy, but I prefer the Pepper Keenan, southern-rock era of CoC.”

    A man after my own heart.

    Also, I’d throw an Entombed album in here. To Ride, Shoot Straight, and Speak The Truth is a pretty solid rock album that is great for driving fast to and also for drinking (not at the same time, drink responsibly friends).

    • Seconded. And I don’t think it’s popular opinion, but I really like Wolverine Blues too. I like when death and black metal bands put some regular hard rock into their mix.

      • Poop Mango

        It’s a super unpopular opinion these days but early Entombed bores the shit out of me. The more “rock” they got, the more I loved them.

        • I like the early stuff too, but definitely prefer the death n roll. Satyricon is another example that people seem to get upset about.

          • crazytaco_12

            Oh for sure. I definitely will jam the fuck out of “Now Diabolical”. However, if I see a music video from that album, I cringe in utter disgust. Also, Pepper’s COC is fucking awesome, no shame in that opinion whatsoever

      • Warheart

        Have you ever heard Chapter 13 from Gorefest? It’s a great Death’n’Roll album.

        • Don’t think so–I’ll add it to my ever-growing list, thanks!

  • Gorgasm

    “Hey there, truest of the trve and cultest of the kvlt metalhead.”

    When i first read, i thought it said “cutest of the kvlt” and i was all, “OOHHH YOU!!! STAHP IT!!”

    • W.

      You’re all beautiful to me.

      • Gorgasm

        Someone thinks my grossly deformed and bashed face is beautiful :>

  • FeelTheDarkness

    This album as a whole is fucking brilliant
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLA_bqd59Lw

    • W.

      I totes dig it, but I think I prefer Pure Rock Fury a bit more.

    • Drewcifer

      Every track on Blast Tyrant is a club banger, as the metal kids say.

  • Mon*Star

    ZZ Top is my party band, but on the metal side I could chug some beers with the fine lads of Grand Magus.

    http://youtu.be/01HKzJyXZOg

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Love this and the reason is,this is the era that I first saw them wayyyyyyyy back in ’85.
    5 bucks to get in,7 bucks for a t-shirt and 1 buck for a huge sticker.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-wli2iYlKE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-57NdOHM9sQ

  • DEATH ANGEL IS ONE OF THE GREATEST BANDS EVER.

    JAG HAS SPOKEN IN CAPS.

    • crazytaco_12

      Not enough thrash love on this site man.

      • I will be covering a lot of early thrash in future Can’t Flush This! posts. Stick around 🙂

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      when i see the three letters JAG my mind goes here, i like it when my mind goes here.

  • Warheart

    Deliverance was my first CoC album, the opening riff in Shake Like You is a total killer.

  • Homo sapiens metallum

    I read the complete article but I don´t know what buzzkillington is.

    • W.

      You know that guy who shows up at a party and tells the driest stories and complains about the music and the booze and generally makes life miserable for everyone? That’s Buzzkillington.

    • crazytaco_12

      “Who here wants to hear a good story about a bridge?”

  • Paris Hilton

    I love me some AWK!!! It’s soooooo heartbreaking that’s he’s a brony though :/ so disgusting.

    • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

      He’s a brony? I’m all for letting people like whatever they want, but bronies creep me the fuck out. It’s just so fucking weird, man.

      • Paris Hilton

        I know right!? Usually I’m like whatever let people like what they want to, but there’s something very fucked up about a grown man watching a show for toddlers. It’s fucked up, man! It’s fucked up!!

    • W.

      Yah, that’s the only off-putting thing about him. But even Bronies are welcome in the toilet!

  • Huggy Bear OH YEAH

    “Beginner’s Guide to Suicide” is cool, yeah, but every other Goblin album wins for overall quality and number of awesome songs (and as a huggy bear I’m rarely as definitive about anything). and for shits and funns it’s especially Thieving From The House Of God and Coup de Grace. I mean, AW SWEET GODS OF THE STONE THAT DRINKS!

  • Metaphysical Anus

    I like fun, but I hate parties.

  • Chester Cheesecake
  • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

    AWK had the most energy of any performer i have ever seen live. It was like he was on PCP, never stopped moving once nor was he out of breath ala vince neil. NO SHIT

    • crazytaco_12

      Totally unrelated, but what’s your favorite Fulci movie in the horror category (not one of his porno films or spaghetti westerns)?

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        It’s the gates of hell trilogy.
        The beyond – i have to say i find this film the most disturbing to me – i get pain when i watch it which i can only explain as chest pains bordering on a claustrophobic panic attack. I actually don’t enjoy watching it. So i guess i am giving it high marks.

        House by the cemetery – very frightening, awesome kills, lots of good supernatural shit, freudstein is a classic creation , the maggots for blood, superb. Marred of course by the voice of the youngster bob. I find this in every italian movie i have watched involving children, the voices of the boys are always unsuitable, downright comedic or intensely annoying. The girls voices not so much.

        City of the living dead – more of a straight up zombie movie, i like the demonic priest and the classic regurgitation of guts scene with the girl and the drill through the head of actor giovanni radice. He meets horrible ends in a lot of italian films.

        So i guess my answer is the beyond.

        My first love is ARGENTO though
        I love everything from 1970 thru 87 favorites being
        SUSPIRIA
        TENENBRE
        INFERNO
        DEEP RED

        • crazytaco_12

          Ahh, seeing that you are an adamant Argento fan, I highly recommend watching Fulci’s “The Psychic” if you haven’t seen it already. Very much more so a traditional Italian giallo than one of Fulci’s usual splatterfests, probably my favorite Fulci film of them all (though I fucking love “The Beyond”). I’m also an Argento freak; while Suspiria is my favorite movie of all time, I’ve gotta say that his other films “Four Flys on Grey Velvet” and “The Cat O’ Nine Tails” don’t seem to get their due (but then he has quite an excellent track record so I can let it pass).

  • Room 101

    Man I’m getting teary eyed that all the “totalsucks” commentator’s are on here. You guys are the only reason i kept going back to it. Hail from London, England.

    • W.

      Hail and welcome to the Toilet!

  • tylerusmaximus

    I feel like this might be an unpopular opinion but I can’t have anything other than fun with Cowboys From Hell playing. That whole album just makes me want to party.

  • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

    Holy shit that Tengger Cavalry sounds like the soundtrack to Dynasty Warriors. I can dig the fuck outta that.

  • RuIN?

    I always thought that the Ultra-Violence was one of the best debuts for any metal act around. That instrumental was epic and the aggression and rawness of the whole album just killed me as a youngster. Everything after that however……

  • pretty much any record from Orange Goblin is a party record. Big Black is my personal favorite.

  • ….

  • RomuluxX

    One of my favorite things ever said by Andrew W.K. came from his twitter. It read as such: “PARTY TIP: Realize how cool bald eagles are.” Life hasn’t been the same since

  • Scrimm

    This always makes me want to party https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIqecRerIfk

  • George Clarke

    Euronymous would be disgusted! metal is not about fun, its about satan!