Whiff of the Week: Godsmack Day

OH SHIT BRO TODAY IS OFFICIALLY GAWDSMACK DAY IN BAWSTON, THOSE GUYS ARE FAHKIN’ HARDCOAR.

BRO I FAHKIN’ LOVE GAWDSMACK BRO, WHEN I’M AT HOME WORKIN’ THE FAHKIN’ PUNCHING BAG OR WATCHING WAHLBURGERS I LISTEN TO THIS BECAUSE IT’S TOTALLY WICKED HEAVY.

BRO GAWDSMACK WAS TOTALLY IN PRISON FOR BEING SO FAHKIN’ TOUGH, SWEAH TO GAWD. CHECK OUT THIS WICKED SECURITY FOOTAGE. HOLY FAHK GUY THAT FENCE IS ELECTRIFIED.

SOMETIMES WHEN I’M ORDERING A SAM ADAMS IN BAY VILLAGE AND SOME FAHKIN’ SACKSLAP SPILLS IT ON THE BAHR I GET UP IN HIS FACE THEN PUT THIS ON THE INNANET JUKEBAWX. FUCK WIT DA BAWSTON BULL YOU GET DA HORNS, ASSWORM.

BUT THEN BRO, SOMETIMES I GAWTTA TAKE IT EASY AND CHILL WIT MY LADY Y’KNOW, SO I PUT ON THIS AND TALK ABOUT ALL THE SEXY SHIT I’M GAWNNA DO TO HER ONCE I GET THOSE RED SAWX SEASON TICKETS.

OH FAHK AND THEN WHEN I’M HANGING WIT DA FAMILY OVER AT THEIR PLACE IN THE FAHKIN’ NORTH END I PUT THIS SONG ON FOR MY DAD, CAUSE I THINK HE LISTENED TO THIS SHIT AS A TAWDDLAH OR SOMETHIN’.


BRO IF YOU GOT A GOOD GAWDSMACK VIDEO OR SOME OTHER SHIT THAT FAHKIN’ SOUNDS LIKE THEM, POST THAT WICKED SHIT IN THE CAWMMENTS BELOW

(image via)

Written by:

Published on: August 6, 2016

Filled Under: Uncategorized

Views: 1140

Tags: , , , , ,

  • Lacertilian

    GAWD FAHKIN’ DAMMIT!

    • EsusMoose

      Holy fucking time lizard wizard doing weekly jumps now

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Looper: Lizard Edition

    • Brutalist_Receptacle

      COOAHS LIGHT!

    • Mother Shabubu

      I wish we could replace everyone with a Boston accent with you Australians instead. I’d love to hear “I gotta go to the duny, feel a liquid laugh comin’ on, ya cūnt” instead of “Hey Bawby, I gotta go pakk my caahhhr”.

  • Mildredmcraft1

    <<o. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bt320p:….,….

  • Denisejheck1

    <<o. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bt875p:….,….

  • TrundleTheGreat

    As shitty as they are, Godsmack was my first concert. 8th grade thought they were the greatest thing ever. Oh how I’ve grown.

  • ME GORAK!!!™

    NOT ALL GOD SMACK SUX DINO BALLS!!!!!!!!
    https://youtu.be/EYyLWhLrjq8

  • Maik Beninton™
    • CyberneticOrganism

      lol

  • Abradolf Lincler

    uhhhhh what just happened

    • Abradolf Lincler
      • >unironic memes

        • Eliza

          What, that isn’t ironic?

          • It is not. Trust me, I’m certified.

          • Eliza

            That’s sad.

          • IT’S-

            ….

            Kinda, yeah.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            It’s like rain on your wedding day, like good advice you just can’t take.

          • Eliza

            I was expecting that someone would post this song.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Lol! How was the Iron Maiden concert? (BTW, it’s KJU)

          • Eliza

            If I didn’t know that nothing is perfect, I’d say it was so. Anyway, it was excellent.

    • High on Vallenfyre

      I’m scared.

  • High on Vallenfyre

    Am I hallucinating?! I swear I just voted on riff of the week.

  • Mother Shabubu

    I forgot how much I hated Boston until this post.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I hate Boston too. The only good thing to come out of Boston is The J Geils Band. Also Tom Scholz is a massive asshole.

      • Howard Dean

        I find it very hard to believe that JJD hates Boston.

        https://youtu.be/SSR6ZzjDZ94

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I do not enjoy them. Tom Scholz is a massive asshole.

    • Maik Beninton™
    • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

      My birthday is on St. Patrick’s Day and my full name is Shaun Patrick Hamilton. I pretty much skip out on my birthday, and I’d be extremely embarrassed celebrating it in Boston. It was embarrassing enough when it got bad enough that they had to cancel the South Side Irish Parade in Chicago years back. I easily have the most numbnut birthday/holiday in all of America.

  • BAHSTON LOVES DIS GAWDSMACK DUHBSTEP RAYMIX. IT’S LIKE A HOME RUN AT FENWAY PAHRK WHEN THE BALL GOES WICKED FAHR!!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO3Pt_hWXes

  • Wait, what happened to the Riff of the Week Post? I could have sworn I commented on it earlier.

    • Oh, I see. Saturdays are rough for the Toilet.

      • Dubbbz

        Someone done goofed.

        • DOH!

        • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

          So what’s the theme for ROTW next week, for the whole 30 minutes it’s around? :-p

          • more beer

            Does it matter? Masterlord is busy burning his mattress.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Masterlord’s true identity revealed?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejorQVy3m8E

          • more beer

            I have always pictured him being really skinny with long scraggly hair and a wearing a loincloth or a kilt.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Toilet Ov Hell is not your personal erotica si……. oh have at it!

          • more beer

            Nothing erotic about that image whatsoever. Kind of like the dude I saw last night at Summer Slaughter. With the kilt and the Metallica backpatch. I doubt he was Scottish. So there is cultural history he was carrying on. Nope just another guy in a skirt as far as I was concerned.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra
          • more beer

            He was no Sean Connery.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            I did manage to see Craig Ferguson, aka the greatest Scotsman ever to live, in concert back in 2013. The flute boys he had come out before the show more or less looked like that.

          • more beer

            Sean Connery disagrees. At 85 I would bet he would still kick Craig Ferguson’s ass. Also I never found that Ferguson guy funny either.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Well, not talking about the most tough ass, just the best. 😉
            To each their own. I loved his book, American On Purpose, and it’s in my top 10. Hilarious, but very very poignant on his battles with alcoholism, cocaine abuse, growing up in when the Irish civil war was spilling over, growing up in one of the poorest parts of Europe, a suicide attempt, failed marriages, etc. and getting out of it without becoming self righteous. Guy went through a fuckload before he ever got into showbiz.

          • more beer

            I still don’t think he is funny. Something that is kind of a requirement to be a comedian. Millions of others have been through the same issues he had. It is called life.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Likewise, but I can certainly relate. Who is funny in your book?

          • more beer

            In truth I prefer the old school comedians. Carlin, Dangerfield, Dice. All of the new guys I don’t find that amusing. Plus there is a huge percentage of our Africian American comics. With the white people this and white people that bullshit. Which as far as I am concerned is just a racist as being at klan rally. But for some reason this is acceptable.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Love the old school ones, Carlin being very obvious.

            That last part…………….. even Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy?

            Curious if you’ve heard Jim Jeffries’ stand up? The finest gift Australia has given us (and they’ve gave us many) over the last few years.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4prBWqOGdM

          • more beer

            Chris Rock totally does that shit. Along with a hundred others. It is a huge double standard. I haven’t seen that guy. But I stream everything so it’s not like I am just sitting around watching Comedy Central.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Watch it, he’s fucking hilarious! 😉

          • more beer

            So what. Because he is funny it doesn’t make it racist? Like I said there is a huge double standard. Which personally I am sick of.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Jim Jeffrie’s skit was racist? *scratching my head*

          • more beer

            No Chris Rock. I was answering your question.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Either way, taking care of some stuff in the morning and drunk as balls. Have fun with this in meantime, and awesome talking to you again. 😀

            https://media.giphy.com/media/kRJyKl6tc6iUU/giphy.gif

  • Eliza

    I’ve never been into this band. Dodged some embarrassing memories there.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Smart move.

  • Rob M

    This was the best thing to ever involve Godsmack

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iUsFa-75QE

    • EsusMoose

      This is why you don’t let your not 18 year old child play a 18+ game

  • Hans Gruber
  • BobLoblaw
    • BobLoblaw

      NO UPVOTES FOR NU METAL

      • more beer

        NO!

        • BobLoblaw

          I was chastising the fool who upvoted that trash.

          • more beer

            JJd upvotes everything that is bad.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            There’s worse, like who I’ve been listening to the last 4 days straight.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF_vhJf6iOw

          • more beer

            I gave it 30 seconds. Al I can say is no.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            It’s nice, it’s bouncy and good lawdy she’s hot. Playing that and and lots of Avulsed back to back, and some of the usual stuff.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydcHZpptONA

          • more beer

            That’s better. I don’t listen to music based on how hot the singer is.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Neither do I. I listen to a lot of synthpop and more avante garde pop, so her music is right up my alley. Being a gal who makes these manly arms (see the avatar) shake the bunk like an H-bomb in a tsunami simply helps.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I actively despise Godsmack.

    • Óðinn

      Good point.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Counterpoint: all baseball sucks

    • Howard Dean

      My disdain is more passive.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Also, fuck the Red Sux with a giant cactus. They deserve nothing but hatred. Go Yankees!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Counterpoint: all baseball sux

    • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

      If it isn’t the White Sox, flush it!

      • more beer

        Get back to JJD and me. When the White Sux have won the World Series 27 times. I will probably be long dead before that happens.

        • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

          I can’t stand baseball, but South Side pride and all that. Keith Richards will be long dead before the Cubs ever make it there. (BTW, guessing you know who this is, if it isn’t blatantly obvious)

          • more beer

            Yea know who it is. That was a short hiatus.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Busy most of the week, and figured to take a short break. Roomies got a new pet (big ass pit bull) that I’ve been helping take care of/break in, plus other random things along the way. No pics of the pit bull yet, but to give you an idea:

            http://s3.amazonaws.com/readers/2011/09/04/american-pitbull-terrier_1.jpg

            Absolute sweetheart, but a raging piss/poop machine, especially around the house (even after walks).

          • more beer

            I am very familiar with the breed. Your last sentence is why I have a cat. Dogs are really high maintenance. I don’t have time for all of that.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            It’s the roomie’s dog, along with the pamaranian, ferret, and two cats (figuring out how to properly get rid of one of them, since it’s still attacking the other pets besides the pit, and left a dead rabbit out on our lawn). I just help out with taking care of it. If it were just me deciding, I’d keep our black cat and that’s it. That cat is practically my sidekick.

          • more beer

            That cat is doing what it is supposed to. They are predators. Rabbits are prey. That is the natural order of things.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            First time I’ve ever seen or heard of that happening though. The black cat dragging mice and lizards (which I end up rescuing, since cats tend to leave them alive with only their tails ripped off) is perfectly fine, but that…………..
            It’s mainly that it attacks the other pets months later. Attacking the ferret and my black cat was the final straw.

          • more beer

            Animals fight. Ferrets are disgusting and smell horrible. The cat would have been doing you a favor. My cat fights with the neighbors cat on a daily basis. I pulled a big claw out of his head a couple of weeks ago. When mine leaves small animals in front of the house. They are very dead.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Lol, not my decisions on all this. I just help out. :-p

          • more beer

            I understand.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            I could adopt a tapir and just let him wipe out everything, mwahahaha!

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Lol, the cats picked up that NYHC attitude from you, I see. 😉

          • more beer

            Yea he is a tough little bastard. To be honest If my cat brought a dead rabbit home. I would be impressed. But his main goal is killing all of the squirrels in the neighborhood. He doesn’t stand a chance with them. But he is determined.

  • Count_Breznak
  • tertius_decimus

    Is it the new “Whiff of the week” format? No voting option anymore?

  • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

    RIP, Riff Of The Week.
    Heeeeeellllllllloooooo, Whiff Of The Week (minus the voting. Yarg!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Óðinn

    “Wicked awesome”, Cybernetic bro.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      RIP Sully Erna

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Saw Godsmack open for Sabbath in 1999. Terrible band.

  • F –

  • Waynecro

    That sure is a whole lot of Godsmack.

  • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

    Can’t stand Pudsmack, but Sully’s solo stuff is genius, especially for those into Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds, Dead Can Dance, and all that. How he goes from that to something like that to the most generic Alice In Chains ripoff known to man is beyond me, but bills have to be paid I suppose.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fmkQg77m0o

  • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

    What Boston article/comments section would be complete without this (amazed no one’s pulled it up yet)?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-bbYH_akHg

    That said, most Bostonians I knew back home were douches. Essentially a cross between the worst NYC suburbanites and the worst that Wrigleyville threw up onto the streets at 1 AM.