Whiff o’ the Week 1/25/2015

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“Down from the Egypt, eye of the sun, in front of the Sinai, away from their skies like a sea inside out, their stars and planets spearing your soul, their cities like insects, all shell and mechanism, their blindness with eyes, their vertiginous plains and mind-crushing mountains. Down from the billions who had made the world in their own image. Their signature could be a thing of beauty. But it was a thing of death.”

The grand symbiosis. This is Whiff o’ the Week.

Alright, folks. Last week you appropriately and collectively lampooned Fred Durst for mangling a stone cold classic. I’m proud of you.

toh

 

Next week’s category: Worst collaboration.

This week, however, we’re talking about bad solos. Get to it.


W. 

Look, I used to like Static-X, and although it’s been years since I listened to them, I could probably still jam Wisconsin Death Trip if it was playing somewhere. Cult of Static, on the other hand, is a colossal turd that served merely to demonstrate how obsessed Wayne Static was with his pornstar wife. The songs are bland and boring. The leads are weak. Especially in this song. Normally, that would be a flush in and of itself. However, that solo at 1:52 was actually recorded by Megadave himself. Megaflush.


McNulty

Iron Maiden excels at several things, and soloing is of course one of them. There is only one song by them with such a terrible solo, and that is “Can I Play With Madness” (2:46). It’s so short, they might as well have skipped it; but they didn’t. It starts out ALL RIGHT but then they got this bright idea to have a dueling guitar solo. They’re building to something (right?)… nope. After one short battle it ends with a whimper. So it’s bad, but it’s made even worse when surrounded by an entire catalog that contains some of the best guitar solos in history.


Ellipsis

Tom Morello is a divisive guitarist and his solo in Audioslave’s “Show Me To How To Live” is not helping his case. At 2:47, Morello goes all minimalistic, delivering a 20 second solo that consists of effects pedals and picking of the open high E string. That’s it. Tom makes good use of his free left hand in this live clip though, throwing a peace sign while looking all serious.


George Lynch

The whole Breaking the Chains album is pretty much a stinker, but, title song “Breaking the Chains” is downright killer! However great, the solo totes sucks. Listen to it here. Boring right? How does GL have tasty licks for daayyyysss and only pull together a turd like that? Fear not friends – in 1988 Dokken released a live album (Beast from the East) and the live version kills the studio version.


Akercocke of Steele

Starting at 0:51, I don’t know if, ya know, this being FEAR and all, this solo was just a giant joke. But yeah, it sounds like whoever was on that solo was feeling very ornery the day they recorded that and was all like “Fuck you guys, fuck this band! Here, ya wanna fuckin solo (does the solo half-assed)? Then here’s yer fuckin’ solo! Fack!


Ted Nü-Djent

I like this song a lot, I like World Painted Blood a lot (production issues aside), and I particularly like the riff leading into the solo a lot. The solo from 2:57 until 3:17 however, I do not like. From 3:17 though the solo is good, because that’s the solo Hanneman played, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna speak ill of that man.


IronLawnmower

Listen to this until a minute and a half in. Prepare to rock out to the most clitoris engorging solo ever put onto tape. It will change your life with its beauty and technical complexity. The rest of the song is pretty great too.*

*by the standards of thalindomine baby free jazz.


Esusmoose

There’s a solo in there, somewhere.


Christian

I wouldn’t call it the worst, but the random blues licks in this song always seemed super out of place. This is some local band shit.


365 Days of Horror

This guy had the temerity to say he “can play the guitar like a motherfucking riot,” and then proceeds to make his guitar sound like it dropped down a flight of stairs.


Guacamole Jim

There is nothing worse than this.


Randall Thor

I must submit this.


Battle Born NDN

Pantera thought it was a good idea to include a Kerry King solo on the track “Goddamn Electric.” Due to time restrictions, King was never able to go into a studio and record. So they decided to record in a bathroom when Slayer was playing a show in Texas. Upon hearing this solo I can’t help but grind my fuckin’ teeth, which would probably make a better solo than this one. I can say a lot more mean things, but I’m not going to. The cringing begins at 4:11.


Gurp

Solo is at 1:34. Watch the rest for extra lolbuttz. [W. – I think Leif may have submitted this in the early days. It’s so bad, though, that I’ll allow it to grace the toilet a second time.]


Howard Dean

Ya’ll know how much I like Burzum, but even I can’t defend this solo. This song isn’t Varg’s best moment anyway, and it is made worse by the hideous solo at 2:02. This is actually a guest solo played by Euronymous, and my fuck does it suck ass. Was it this horrific solo that finally drove Varg over the edge?


Alright, now that you’ve seen the lolbuttz, let us know. Which of these solos is the silliest?

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 25-01-2015 10:00:00
end_date 26-01-2015 01:00:00
Poll Results:
Which of these solos is the silliest?

Feel free to defend any of these choices in the comments section and tell me what a turd I am for my opinion. Also, if you hate something I love, send it to me for the next Whiff o’ the Week! All opinions here are strictly those of the writer in question, although most of them are correct.

(Photo VIA)

  • MoshOff

    DAMNIT I have to stop submitting mine so late on Saturday, I think I would of had a fair shot.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c48oMTmYcz4&t=2m30s

    • DDubya.

      If you send it to ToH email late on Saturday night, it probably isn’t going to make it to me. For a last-minute entry, Facebook would be better.

      • MoshOff

        Got it!

      • MoshOff

        Got it!

    • DDubya.

      If you send it to ToH email late on Saturday night, it probably isn’t going to make it to me. For a last-minute entry, Facebook would be better.

  • MoshOff

    DAMNIT I have to stop submitting mine so late on Saturday, I think I would of had a fair shot.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c48oMTmYcz4&t=2m30s

  • Mvik Beninton

    Guacamole wins.
    Fred showing that he just started to play guitar.

  • HessianHunter

    Aw, Christian, yer breaking my heart over here. That goofy fucking blues solo at the end of the tech/thrash mess of Dismantle The Dictator is what made me fall in love with Revocation.

    • DDubya.

      The rustling begins.

    • Gurptitude

      Dude, same here. It’s so out of left field.

    • Mvik Beninton

      Me too.
      And Ellipsis pick is ”2 simple 4 me”
      http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/wp-content/uploads/cmonson.jpg

      • Ellipsis

        Shut up, Dad!

    • D. Lee

      The facial expressions in that video are what made me fall in love with Revocation

  • Gurptitude

    Ah, I had a feeling someone used it already. Damn…

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Guacamole Jim wins. It just goes to show that some people should never touch a guitar

    • Mvik Beninton
      • CyberneticOrganism

        Getting old. This video never does.

    • EsusMoose

      One week I’ll win but god dam you guys bring out some giant clogging masses

      • Mvik Beninton

        I voted for you but none can beat Fred Durst on whiffage.
        It’s gotta come the day in which we have to choose between him, Fronz and Palmeri.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          That’s gonna be a very difficult decision. In my opinion Palmeri wins because Emmure is just that bad.

  • Scrimm

    FLUSH MCNULTY!!! Also holy shit Sublime is horrible.

    • DDubya.

      As Joe has said before, you can’t really be friends with someone who likes Sublime.

      • Akercocke ov Steele

        But, but Bro!

      • Mvik Beninton

        W you still jam Wisconsin Death Trip?
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps0MfBG5-Uo

        • DDubya.

          I’m with stupid.

          • Mvik Beninton
          • jimmy jimmy jim jim dvggan

            I love Static X! I still jam Wisconsin Death Trip!

          • EsusMoose

            I remember I threw them on once at a pool hall as the selection was lulzbuttz and was told they were terrible by a guy who proceeded to put on Nickleback.Suffice to say it’s a terrible place to visit

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        I agree. Sublime is the worst.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        I like Sublime 🙁

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I like Sublime too.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Oh man, this is awkward then

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Behave my Ausie friend.

    • but…but… do you disagree that the solo i picked is a gigantic turd among a truly wonderful career?

      • Scrimm

        Yes.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Burn in Hell you bag of French fries?

  • Brock Samson

    I voting for you Guacamole Jim, I officially hate you for submitting me to that

  • Coolstorybro

    Apologies to all, but the Dismantle the Dictator solo fuckin rips

    • B00mhauer

      It really does. A very unworthy entry to this week.

      • EsusMoose

        I love Revocation but Dave’s solo’s can be a little off putting to those who don’t love sheer face melting greatness

        • Lacertilian

          That’s why it works, something out of the norm for that sort of song.

    • today @christianmolenaar:disqus has set his phaser to maximum rustle

      • Scrimm

        I’ll join him. Hate Revocation.

        • The Bestest Tapir

          There’s something else we both hate than just Van Halen.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I hate Revocation as well. They’re so overrated.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Huh, I was sure that you would like them.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I don’t like everything. I like a lot but I also hate a lot.

          • PhoenixKing Leonhart

            Fuck me forever for sharing something in common with both Jim and the loofah.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            It’s not a bad thing. Revocation is overrated and deserves to be hated.

          • Lacertilian

            Do you play an instrument JJD?
            Surely only a non-musician would consider them over-rated.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I sing.

          • Lacertilian

            but you called lead guitar in @blackbeard_s_ghost:disqus ‘s Full Of Booze band??!?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I also play guitar.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            This would explain why you’ve never had them on That Metal Show.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I’m not Eddie Trunk! How many times can I say this?

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            You lie. I’ll settle for illegitimate son then

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            That’s no surprise as Eddie Trunk doesn’t listen to current music

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I’m not Eddie Trunk!

          • Scrimm

            I have tried, gave them a third shot based on people here and their praise of Deathless, but no dice.

          • Stanley

            Just seeing all this Revocation animosity. I will put my hand up and join those traitors being flayed.

        • Lacertilian

          But does your hatred stem from this particular solo?
          If not, surely Morello or Durst should be higher on your voting preferences.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            This guy gets it

          • Scrimm

            They are higher. I was just admitting I dislike them also. I actually voted for Sublime.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Scrimm, I thought we were friends

          • Scrimm

            Sorry. Not trashing them to be a dick, I tried to like them.

          • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

            The vocals were a bit over the top for me at first but I grew to like them.

          • Scrimm

            ocals are what usually make a break a band for me. If I can’t stand the frontman, forget about the rest of the band.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Don’t apologise

  • I demand 365 Days of Horror writes me a check for the fraction of a penny in bandwidth costs it takes to display that goddamn Sublime song on this site. I feel dirty.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    That Limp Bizkit solo is worse than all the human atrocities perpetuated throughout history combined

    • it’s bad. hilariously so. but it’s not worse than Tom Morello doing a non-solo and acting like he’s solving world hunger.

      • EsusMoose

        He didn’t? Guess he’ll need to go back to being Morello man, dude who points out that there’s a third world

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        Damnit Jimmy! I love Tom Morello!

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Tom Morello be like

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            He’s so awesome though!

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        You sir just hit the

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Brvtal

      • Ellipsis

        First time I watched the live version, I lol’d.

        • Lacertilian

          There should be no 2nd time.

          • Ellipsis

            I had to, for the noble task of Whiff ov the Week.

  • Good god, Rhapsody is fucking bad…

  • Bvrzvm’s War is fucking amazing, one of the best riffs I’ve ever heard.

    • Howard Dean

      The riff is OK, the solo fucking stinks of shit.

      • Gurptitude

        This is, huh, waowr! EGYAHAEAHEEEAAAAHEEAEAAAHEEEH

      • I will admit, the solo does sound like he’s strangling a dog that is shoved up his own ass, but good god the riff is good.

  • Spear

    Came down to Gurp and Guac, and in the end Guac got my vote. Fred Durst once again, as Achilles to the mighty Hector, straps the corpse of talent and good taste to the back of his chariot and drags it across the stage for the world to see.

    • DDubya.

      Just wait till you see Population 436.

      • DDubya.
        • Spear

          whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

          • DDubya.

            Because the world is a cruel place.

        • i’ve seen this!!! it was a decent film acually. i remember thinking fred durst did an okay job acting, but i could be wrong… (it WAS a while ago)

          • DDubya.

            I’ve seen it too. A buddy in college wanted to see how bad it was.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I’ll wager that it was not as good as The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

          • I hope you don’t think I’ve forgotten about our agreement 😉 I’ve tried a few times and still will finish it!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Ford Fairlane was a good movie!

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Ha, you mean you’ve wat it in full a few times already and can’t quite put into words how glorious it is. How Vince Neil never kicked on as an actor, I’ll never know.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Fred Durst submissions should be like Maiden is for ROTW. Cheating.

  • Tyree

    There is a lot of poopy here. Good work flushers.

  • Stanley

    Ha. It’s easy to pick on King and Durst every week, so this week I’ll share the love with the IronLawnmower.

  • That Guitar Center video sounded like a Portal song with pianos.

  • Stanley

    This’ll clear out the fecal deposits left in your earholes by that lot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAxEE9RvqNM&spfreload=10

    • Brouroboris

      Yeeeeeah buddy. Also Exist +1

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

    I hate Fred Durst so Jim wins. I also hate Sublime.

    • i love how people like Fred Durst even attempt something like that. did he not know he can’t play??
      …having said that, i’ll admit to liking a few Limp Bizkit albums. 100% srs.

      • Mvik Beninton

        I really like Chocolate Starfish

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          The album or the butthole? Wait, they’re one and the same

      • Stanley

        All you need is ego and balls, which he happens to have in spades.

        • Lacertilian

          All you need is ego and balls, which he happens to have in spades.

          Is it really courage/balls though, to be that ignorant of your lack of skills to perform such acts? I think he is stupid enough to rely on ego alone.

      • Scrimm

        *Bites tongue an avoids making bad joke about you already admitting to liking something worse…

  • Tyree
    • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

      All these solos are so flushable.

    • Scrimm

      That’s a definite shitter clogger right there.

  • KJM

    Guitar Center is 365 Days of lolbuttz. That’s why I voted for it.

  • KJM

    I almost voted for Sublime though.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Tom Morello has to be one of the most overrated guitarist ever

    • Mvik Beninton
      • he’s sure.

        • Stanley

          Overrated guitarist but very good at stamping on pedals and flicking switches. He’d make a good roadie.

          • I do not want you roadie, I want KG’s chode

          • Stanley

            Had to look that one up. The word chode always makes me laugh.

      • FeelTheDarkness

        I’m positive.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        25 seconds in is a pretty good Fozzy Bear impersonation on the guitar. Wakka, wakka, wakka

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      lol he “shreds” for bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuceeeeeee now. seems fitting…

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      One of?

  • guys, i hope everyone realized that i fucking love Maiden, but that solo has irked me since i heard it like 15 years ago.
    …having said that it’s pretty god damned good compared to y’all’s picks!
    @christianmolenaar:disqus if you weren’t so gawl-derned lovable i’d be mad.
    @disqus_SuTZzQbXC5:disqus that’s purdy bad. i tend to go with whiffs that TRY to be good… and fail. you get my vote.
    Ellipsis would be #1 if it weren’t for Howard Dean. every human should be offered a chance to punch Tom Morello during that… thing. i like how he looks so proud of it during the performance.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      I’ve whiffed Maiden twice (that’s 2 times) and they’re like in my top 5 all time bands. First was Hooks In You off NPFTD and second was that brief period that shall not be named.

      • Lacertilian

        It’s bound to happen when you love something that much, any imperfections will become unreasonably prominent.

      • Scrimm

        It happens to the best of us.

    • Ellipsis

      Bow before Tom’s superior right hand technique, philistine!

  • The Bestest Tapir

    I hate Revovcation, so of course that’s what I’m voting for.

    • you should try listening to them

      • The Bestest Tapir

        I have listened to them. They make horrible music.

        • oh. you win the debate then!

        • Lacertilian

          No.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Then the only logical conclusion is that you have horrible taste.

        • Stanley

          I’ve tried loads of times but have finally given up. I purchased Existence is Futile and Chaos of Forms and now I might have to delete them from iTunes. I don’t do that very often.

          • Scrimm

            Same.

          • Stanley

            Not all classically trained musicians can write songs. They are talented players but the songs are all over the place (in a bad way).

          • Scrimm

            So true. They can’t teach that.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Dem vox too, eeeeech..ive tried with this band. Dave is a beast but the songs = meh.

  • EsusMoose

    That unholy confession cover makes me want to throw gym shorts on and go to the nearest bdubs for a bro down. I’d probably need to pick up a tank top. Oh god they do just keep going.

  • B00mhauer

    DONT FUCKING TALK SHIT ABOUT IRON MAIDEN. FLUSH MCNULTY FOR TWELVE ETERNITIES (thirteen would just be overkill)

    • B00mhauer

      Also, I poke fun at my Sumblime fan friends all the time for that ‘solo’. “I can play the guitar like a motherfuckin’ riot!” *plink plink plink plink plink*

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Ha ha ha ha what a sawft riot. SAWFT!

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        I hate Sublime. There’s a tribute band of theirs that comes to my area occasionally. Why does a band like them need a tribute band? It would be like me starting a Rare Earth tribute band that can’t equal the greatness of the original.

      • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

        I had a friend who was kind of a bro and was sitting down with an acoustic guitar and did that very thing to me. He probably didn’t think I knew what he was referencing but I knew, I knew. I knew when I was about to take the damn thing and go all Pete Townshend on his head.

    • Scrimm

      BACKED.

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        I was scrolling through looking for your response to @James_Jimmy_McNulty:disqus submission. I won’t lie, I’m a little disappointed at how anti-climactic it was.

        • Scrimm

          I know, but I can only be so mean to Jimmy.

    • (th1rt3en) i’m only talking shit because they could have done better

      • Mvik Beninton

        Now that just ain’t right.

    • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

      We should acknowledge that the part after the solo where Bruce starts off the chorus and then the instruments kick in is a fanfuckingtastic kick in the balls.

    • CyberneticOrganism
  • Gotta go with Tom Morello on this one, that shit is just unforgivable.

  • The Bestest Tapir

    Soooooo, how is that Iron Maiden solo bad? I dig it.

    • EsusMoose

      It doesn’t seem to do anything to add to the song. It wasn’t great at first and seemed like it could lead to a better solo but it just ends. It probably falls into the wrong solo for the song which is to me a bad solo

      • The Bestest Tapir

        The more likely option is that McNulty is being a big dum-dum

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

          Don’t be mean to Jimmy!

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Tapirs do not understand what being mean means.

          • DEERMATER DEERMATER DEERMATER DEERMATER

            <3

            GL

          • The Bestest Tapir

            That is a lie! I was stopped by the zoo keeper.

          • I guess you are not the “bestest” then. Tapirs that finish what they started are the bestest!

            GL

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Yo, you’re a human, so don’t you come talkin ’bout my tapir culture. You don’t know shit about us!

          • hey GL! didja have a good weekend??

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I did! I just ate some food, one of my favorite songs came on when I was at the gym and I had some Flamin Hot Cheetos which I love.

          • Oh hai…GL?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            How was your weekend? Did you drink a lot?

          • JJD is not me, lol.

            GL

          • Heck yeah man. Snowed a bunch and we spent all of our time outdoors. It was great! I will be in contact tomorrow about Devin!

            GL

          • like all relationships, Tapir and I have the occasional fight…

          • The Bestest Tapir

            And after that we have makeup sex!

          • Lacertilian

            Tapir-Human relations are legal in Finland?

      • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

        I feel most solos don’t really “add” to the song. It’s more like they give the chance of distraction for listener by weaving a different thread into fabric, creating a new layer to the texture and allowing the performer to interpret the song in another way.

        Needless to say I am not a fan of solos, for I find most of them bullsh*it.

        • The Bestest Tapir

          Tbh, I’m not a big solo fan either. Most of them are pretentious twaddle.

        • EsusMoose

          That’s a fair feeling for a fair bit of solos. I like the ones that match the feel of the song (melancholic song->sad solo, ferocious song->rabid solo,etc) without just replaying the melody an octave up or with some little additions or playing like Kerry “Burger” King. I would count a solo that reinterprets a part of a song or a part of a melody and seems to fit within the weave of the song’s fabric as a great solo. I’ve never been too big of a fan of shred solos as those seem more like masturbation than artistic expression

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

      No Iron Maiden is bad. I love it all, even the Blaze Bayley era stuff.

    • short, builds to nothing, doesn’t even compare to any of their other work.
      having said that, it’s definitely not the worst of the bunch!

    • here’s how i play these games: yes the tom morello “solo” was pointless. yes the fred durst solo was the most horrible thing to fuck our earholes… but those bands aren’t GOOD to begin with. my pick was a shitty solo by a great band. howard dean’s pick (which got my vote) was a horrendous solo in an otherwise good song and (depending on whom you ask) a respectable metal band!

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      It’s not, McNulty is just an asshole

  • DeadButtDreaming

    That Guitar Center video is pure majesty.

  • JWG

    These Whiffs are all unbearably malodorous. I would like to vote for all of them, but a random number generator told me just to go with Mr. Dean.

    …I know. Equal probability and all that, it’s still weird that the ‘random number’ was the last one.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      So Howard Dean has come over to the whiff side to show us how it’s done over here now?

      • JWG

        You could almost call it bipartisanship…

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Or a hostile takeover. Thank God for Guacamole Jim

          • Lacertilian

            A rousing coup d’etat.

          • JWG

            …which should be said more often, really.

          • Lacertilian

            I would prefer to thank FSM for Guacamole.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        Howard Dean is losing so far.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          He’s in front by my watch by 2 votes

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Jim has 10. Howard Dean has 8.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Refreshed and now he’s even further in front. I actually skipped past this one for some reason but I still stand by my vote. As awful as this is, it’s more a solo from some rock star learning guitar that can’t control his own ego.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            Durst is just that bad. He makes ICP look good. I hate ICP because they ruined Faygo for everyone. Faygo was good and cheap in my area until the juggalos started buying it up. Now you have to rely on store brand soda if you want some cheap sods.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I’ve never hear 1 ICP song. Ever. Why would I when I know it will be shit.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            They are the worst. Even their TV show of them badmouthing things was bad.

          • Lacertilian

            Sounds like you have purposely punished yourself by viewing/listening to things that no human should ever be subjected to…on a regular basis.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I’ve watched two episodes because Vanilla Ice and Gilbert Gottfried were on. I’ve never listened to ICP.

          • Lacertilian

            Vanilla Ice??
            I rest my case.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    That Dokken clip, why did all 80’s glam singers use the exact same moves?

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

      I don’t know. Maybe they couldn’t think of any other moves.

    • Lacertilian

      They all shared the same bedroom mirror?

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    As funny as Gurp’s was I think it really has more to do with th elimitations of skill from an amatuer band. Ellipsis gets my vote this week. I was almost gonna submit a solo myself from that hack Tom Morello. There’s a man who doesn’t mind getting high off the smell of his own bullshit.

    • Lacertilian

      Jenkem?

      • Ellipsis

        Googled Jenkem, now disturbed

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Eww, speaking of whiffs

  • PhoenixKing Leonhart

    That Unholy Confessions cover is still one of my top 5 sources of YouTube hilarity.

    • I figured it would be bad… But it ended up being much worse than bad!

      GL

    • Gurptitude

      It’s been cracking me up for 6 years. It’s perfectly awful.

  • PhoenixKing Leonhart

    I was tempted to vote for Jim, but at least Dursty boy tried to make a solo. I like Morello’s playing normally but I don’t know what the fuck he called himself doing there. So he gets my vote.

    • Lacertilian

      That’s my problem with Morello, he had a couple of good riffs here and there but when coupled with his bland cliche songwriting and his pedal tap-dancing ‘solos’ it makes for an indigestible mix.

    • Morello has played a kicka$$ solo or two, which makes me confused as to why he would do something so dumb in that track! I’ll argue with you though: Fred shouldn’t even have attempted such a thing…

      • Lacertilian

        Need some proof of these kickarse solos please Detective.

        • Gladly… Audioslave – Doesn’t Remind Me: http://youtu.be/lBFdX37Qpnk
          2:50

          • Lacertilian

            Not doing it for me…any others?

          • Stanley

            This one is not bad. It fits the song pretty well. Starts at 2:04. It contains no switch flicking!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fihxa4Q7q1g&spfreload=10

          • Lacertilian

            It’s better but still not kickass, similar motif repeated throughout the majority of the solo. I have friends that still listen to this album on a regular basis.

          • Stanley

            He’s far from kickass. I said it was “not bad”. I was just showing Jimmy a little love and support. 🙂

            Taking of Not Bad, punks not my usual thing, but this song is.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS8slHcV2T8&spfreload=10

          • Lacertilian

            I saw these guys at the first Soundwave festival and they tore shit up on the back of their second LP.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIieaDJvrB4

          • Stanley

            My brother lives in Brisbane and has been to Soundwave a few times. It sounds like some decent bands sometimes show up.

          • Lacertilian

            It has been getting progressively less metal/hardcore-punk influenced each year which is a shame.
            Now that Big Day Out is basically dead, it has become the only large touring festival so it ends up being a indie rock, pop-punk & miscellaneous trend festival.

          • Stanley

            I just checked the lineup for this year and you’re right. There’s not a lot that I would be interested in seeing. Exodus (but I’ve seen them too many times living where I live), Ne Obliviscaris, FNM, Incubus (I know, I know), and Killer Be Killed (maybe). Slim pickings.

          • Lacertilian

            the last one I went to was the FNM reunion.
            Meshuggah, Clutch etc made it worthwhile.

          • Stanley

            I listen to it every now and again too. It’s good running music.

          • Stanley

            It started off okay but then he couldn’t help himself. Get your foot off that Cry Baby dude!

        • I’ve always liked this tune. The solo at 3:15 sounds like nintendo to me which is nice.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSHtniUl8V4

      • PhoenixKing Leonhart

        No argument there. He shouldn’t have. But people expect Fred Durst to do stupid things at this point.

  • Lacertilian

    @lmd666:disqus @disqus_tQGvq7i64T:disqus @Brouroboris:disqus
    You going?

    • Scrimm

      I’d go for Disentomb.

      • Lacertilian

        They opened for Psycroptic & Revocation at the last gig I went to.
        I had never heard of them prior to that.

        • Scrimm

          I discovered them recently myself. There’s a couple tours over here they’re supposed to be on soon.

        • Scrimm

          Those dudes are pretty decent too.

          • Lacertilian

            I’m fairly sure we will see a riff of theirs next week on RoTW.

    • DDubya.

      Greetings, reptile. I hope you’ll be pleased with my choice for Australian riff. It’s a bit unexpected.

      • Lacertilian

        Unexpected eh?

        • DDubya.

          Indeed. A now-defunct psychedelic/prog heavy band.

          • Lacertilian

            Alchemist comes to mind…

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            Alchemist? (this could be awkward)

    • Brouroboris

      Yep. I haven’t see Psycroptic live for years so i’ve built up a hunger. Curious for Earth Rot as well. The album was a bit lacking for me but i have feeling they’ll click for me live

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      If I go, I’ll be at the Newy show. I’d love to see Goatwhore but that’s also the week I see Mastodon. I’m also keen as fuck for this
      http://www.bandsintown.com/event/9227135?artist=Iron+Reagan&came_from=127

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        Um this

  • CyberneticOrganism

    @Gurp, thank you for reminding me of that video and the brilliant voice-crack that kicks it off.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    a cut above the rest-/–underground sensation/regular texan–mr dimebag darrell–rising above
    check out this vid of dimebag -playing with buddhist monks chanting —getting ready to take it out of this world—-
    too much…
    ———–

    both at once–dimebag 50%vol
    buddhist monk om chant–100%vol
    http://youtu.be/bspIlo3hVPw

    http://youtu.be/N_Amt83hvhM

  • If the votations weren’t closed I would be in a big crossroad between voting Purrzum or Dave Mustaine solo in the Static-X song…

  • Steven Gorefrost

    My Mac freaked out an made every video on this page turn to Pantera Goddamn Electric. Screen cap of two of em.