Whiff o’ the Week (12/21/14)
“Do you know what punishments I’ve endured for my crimes, my sins? None. I am proof of the absurdity of men’s most treasured abstractions. A just universe wouldn’t tolerate my existence.”
Decay lingers even in the greatest of acts. This is Whiff o’ the Week.
Last week we saw a surprisingly rancid cornucopia of awful songs. Who would have guessed that such a rich year for metal would have been so terrible. However, Leif Bearikson‘s turd rose to the top of the sewage heap as the smelliest and filthiest. Congratulations, Lie or Liar! You’re our biggest flush of 2014!
Next week, it’s just a standard competition. Bring a gross whiff to round out the year.
Today, however, we’re talking about the slight missteps on our year-end lists. Which song is a whiff from an otherwise great album from your top ten of 2014?
I really, really enjoyed Allegaeon‘s Elements of the Infinite. It was chock-full of amazing songs. “1.618,” “The Phylogenesis Stretch,” and “Genocide for Praise” were all catchy, distinct, and fun songs. Unfortunately, amid so much greatness one track stood out as being a bit uninteresting by comparison. “Dyson Sphere” isn’t a bad song by any means, but it ends up feeling like filler on an otherwise stellar album.
I absolutely loved the new Triptykon album. It made number 3 on my year end list, but there was always something that crawled under my skin in a very bad way about it. It’s the opening riff (can you even consider that a riff?) of the song “Altar of Deceit.” It just sounds lazy and fucking horrendous.
“Everything’s Gone” is not a bad track; in fact a happen to like it A LOT. Although great, a total life-force sucking void of a riff is present. The riff starts at0:00 and runs until 0:02. The riff sounds like a repeating two finger pull-off with a descending palm muting the played strings. If you listen closely you hear that the riff has 8 sets of two pull-offs (three notes per set, including the open string). What is so awful about this riff? Well firstly (FIRSTLY! <3), the last set is nearly impossible to hear because the rest of the song comes rushing in. Secondly, the tone and volume of the riff is way-the-fuck off from when the main riff comes in. Thirdly, why waste 2 seconds of our lives on something that doesn’t even develop a proper mood for what is about to come? If they would have made the riff twice as long and did a pick slide for the last 4 sets then they would have had something worthwhile. Or, just start the flipping song without everything I just described! FLUSH.
Jöhnny Crünch ™
This one starts out with some promise but about 30 seconds in it starts to lose me. I don’t HATE this song but when I’m listening to OM’rTS I find that it does bore me a bit and doesn’t fit in with the rest of the album.
Nordling Rites ov Karhu
As a contrast to the year’s best single song, Primitive & Deadly is not all that good. Thoroughly Primitive, but especially one song is Deadly, deadly boring that is. “Even Hell Has Its Heroes.” Even Mark Lanegan could not save this and that stands as a monument to it’s utter failure. It’s actually fascinating to hear two songs, crafted with the same mold and formula, back to back, one perfectly succesful and one horribly unsuccesful.
I may be among the only ones who likes Siren Charms here but not all the songs are perfect. I dislike this song most on the album as it doesn’t stand out, and it’s generic sounding.
Allegaeon‘s Elements of the Infinite just absolutely goddamn refuses to end, but that’s only a problem if you don’t like guitar wank.
Well, time now to vote. What was the biggest let-down from these great albums?
Feel free to defend any of these choices in the comments section and tell me what a turd I am for my opinion. Also, if you hate something I love, send it to me for the next Whiff o’ the Week! All opinions here are strictly those of the writer in question, although most of them are correct.