Whiff o’ the Week (11/23/14)

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Persius once wisely claimed, “Oh, what a void there is in things.” Today we celebrate that void and the siren songs that draw us ever closer to it. This is Whiff o’ the Week.

Last week we fought in bloody combat to determine the most offensive song on an otherwise great album. 4 out of 5 dentists agree that Michael Keene should keep his philosophical meanderings to himself in order to avoid future embarrassment. Let us crown MoshOff as the hero this Toilet deserves.

pow

I’m going to be doing lifeloving things this week, so let’s all take a break from the crappiness next Sunday. No Whiff next week. Let your hatred fester inside to be unleashed the following weekend when we’ll just be back to a regular ol’ Whiff.

With that, let’s get to it. What’s the worst scream ever unleashed upon human ears?


W.

I was originally going to pick Periphery, but I couldn’t narrow down to just one awful scream. So I just flushed their whole discography again and moved on. Instead, I’ve selected “Virga” by After the Burial. I hate djent as much as the rest of you, but I give AtB a pass for 2 decent albums and a fun live show. That said, their current vocalist is significantly better than the previous one, so I have no idea why they signed off on this cringe-worthy guest appearance at 1:33 into this song. I guess this guy isn’t in the band anymore for a reason.


Utmo

I like this song. I like falsetto vocals. I do not like Proscriptor’s falsetto notes here. It really puts a bad taste in my mouth, and whenever I want to listen to this song, I have to sit through the falsetto note at 0:11 to get to the meat of it (you know, unless I skip ahead like eleven seconds on my phone, but who does that?).


Howard Dean

To be fair and upfront: I actually love this scream. This is what embracing the void is all about. The man behind these vocals, Alexander Nordgaren, permanently destroyed his voice recording this EP. Yeah, that’s right. Void. The first time I heard them, I didn’t think they were real. Approximated by some as “the squeaking sound of a car slamming on its brakes in a parking garage,” and described by others as “the voice of a pissed off eagle,” these are bar none the most extreme vocals in heavy metal history. But they are also kind of ridiculous and grating. That’s why a lot of people don’t care for them. But it’s also why I love them. 0.30.


Christian Mahna Mahna

Metallica get a lot of crap from people, some deserved, some not. St. Anger in particular is an almost universally reviled album. For all the faults one could pick from this performance – Lars’s ever-sloppy drumming, the weak guitar tones, Hetfield’s shimmering, sweaty body – one stands out above all others: Kirk’s background vocals. The song is progressing as it always does, and James even sounds pretty good, when all of a sudden Kermit the Frog hops onstage fresh off a crack binge to gargle out some unintelligible drivel. *flush*


Cybernetic Organism

Go to the 11 second mark. Listen. Facepalm. Do not repeat.


Guacamole Jim

Worst scream in metal? So like any Cradle of Filth song ever?? 0:24.


James Jimbo McNasty

Disclaimer: Nobody in his or her right mind would ever accuse Devin Townsend of having a bad scream… until you’re trying to fall asleep listening to one of the most gorgeous metal albums ever created. Right at the end of “Things Beyond Things”, you start to drift into deep sleep and KAPOW! Thanks Devy. You’re nothing if not a prankster. I’m not giving you a timestamp on this one, listen to the entire masterpiece and hear for yourself…


Ghostflusher

Alex Koehler has to be one of the worst fucking vocalists in existence. His technique is a pastiche of cupping the mic, studio fuckery, and gurgling horse scrotum. Plus this nitwit thinks he can sing now, and if there is a God, I hope he has the strength to make me go deaf for the duration of time in which I have accidentally stumbled upon a Chelsea Grin song.


Spear

This fucking guy.


Jack Archbauer

The intro scream sounds like shes trying to painfully force a turd out of her rectum.


Leif Bearikson

As someone who hates Avenged Sevenfold (and is an adult that doesn’t use that A7X shit), this is my favorite cover of any of their songs, and I think it is all perfectly encapsulated in that opening “scream.” Be sure to check out the comparison between it and the original at the end.


Rho Stone

I nominate myself. Listen at your own risk.

https://soundcloud.com/rhostone/man-in-the-trashcan


JöhnnyTheMotherFuckinCrünch

Say what you will about Kiss but Paul Stanley once upon a time had a voice that could go where few vocalists could go. However, what Paul Stanley delivers at the 2:06 and 2:52 marks are a sad indictment of what this man’s voice has become, and no amount of make up and flammable explosions can make up (pun not intended) for that.


Cocke of Steele

Scream is at 0:12, Not actually bad seeing as how this is Bad News, a band so legendary that even Lemmy once said they had “Hit a new high in altruistic, self-indulgent. bullshit. mollycoddled mother my dog instinct rock and roll. I thought it was the worst kind of pimply shit of the worst kind of city ghetto probably populated by winos, junkies and general all round fuck-ups.”  There ya have it, this whiff is dedicated to the legends that are Bad News.  RIP Rik.


Coolstorybro

If you’ve seen Clerks 2 or weren’t born under a rock, you know King Diamond. Specifically, you know the infamous scream from the beginning of “Welcome Home.” Daring listeners can find the lulz-worthy ode to elderly relatives right after the opening drum salvo. The King’s vocals always sound like a demented muppet doing helium whippets, but this just takes it too far.


Satan ov Hell

“Angel of Death” is a terrible song, starting on this awful scream, that Araya obviously cannot hold for long enough to bring it down properly without a rasp, only going into a boring “0-0 POWER CHORD” pattern that only relents midway into this song into an equally gag inducing segment. This song is awful, and a representation of the worst that metal could possibly be. Skill-less drivel, with offensive lyrics, that just makes you want to scream “FUCK KERRY BURGER KING”. I do hope you have enjoyed this thrashing of your behinds, this befuddling of your Benjamins, but deep down, you know it is true.


Squibble Skwonk

I’m not going to even tear into the terrible music video, or the awful guitar tone, or the obnoxious electronic vibe that doesn’t even really suit the song. The opening scream is one of, if not the worst, screams I’ve ever heard. It sounds awkward as hell and processed to shit.


Now it’s your turn. Which of these screams made your ears bleed in all the wrong ways?

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 23-11-2014 10:00:00
end_date 24-11-2014 01:00:00
Poll Results:
Which of these screams made your ears bleed in all the wrong ways?

Feel free to defend any of these choices in the comments section and tell me what a turd I am for my opinion. Also, if you hate something I love, send it to me for the next Whiff o’ the Week! All opinions here are strictly those of the writer in question, although most of them are correct.

(Photo VIA)

  • CyberneticOrganism

    I haven’t slept in days

    • Spear

      I’ve started carrying a locker around with me so I can shove him into it on the off chance that I run into him somewhere.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Pictured: Simon Belmont hard at work on lyrics

        • Spear

          Is he the one on the left or the one on the right?

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I have no idea

        • JWG
          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            do you remember which one of these skectches came out first.

    • ???

      just whip that guy!

  • The Huntress scream sounds like she was walking around in that icy landscape in a leotard for too long and now her skin is tightening around her groce fake boobies.
    Also, I think a lot of these (Huntress, Absu, Cradle of Filth, King Diamond) were meant to be ugly as an effect. W., Howard, Jimmy and Ghostflusher were all examples of dudes who just shouldn’t ever have a microphone in front of them.

    • aw hell naw, you ain’t talking turkey on Hevy Devy

      • I’m trying to come around on DT (I just heard that Casualties of Cool record from this year and really enjoyed it), but things like “Hevy Devy” keep pushing me further away.

        • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

          DT <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

        • He has his moments but most of his discography is no bueno.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I liked both Ziltoid records but besides that I don’t like his wildly inconsistent discography.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

            Its worse than inconsistent. It erratically lacks cohesion. DT is jack of all trades, master of none. Just my 2 quorthons

          • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

            Spotty it is, and progressively worse

          • VV.

            Maybe he would benefit from reining himself in a bit. I didn’t particularly care for Z2, and I wonder if he didn’t try to throw every idea he has onto an album as soon as he has it he might actually release more quality products.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

            I can’t even really get too much behind SYL, either. Something about DT really quarks my gluons

          • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

            I keep reading him saying he needs a break, but he never takes it.

          • he was definitely a master of SYL doe

        • Edward #RIPNEGROD

          I don’t have much of an opinion on Devin Townsend, I’ve only listened to about one of his songs, ever, but Max’s Devin Townsend argument will go down as ToH gold for all times.

          • Max

            I almost felt guilty after posting that one. I mean, I was being sincere; but it was just so undiplomatic and curmudgeonly. Kind of like when you blurt out something untoward after a few drinks too many at the office Christmas party and nobody looks at you the same way afterwards.

            Still, Satan ov Hell including “Angel of Death” in this week’s Whiffery has probably evened the karma out; so I guess I’ll live it down.

        • well that IS the name of his record label
          if you like Casualties of Cool, check out the first Devin Townsend Project album “Ki”, more weird alterna-country-metal

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            That sounds weird. Who would combine alternative, country and metal?

          • does it make me a jackass for responding with “Devin Townsend”?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M06vB9YeIjw

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            No. There is worse ideas out there. Look at the whiff I put in the comments. Two bands have tried making concept albums about mass. Spooky Tooth did one with electronic sound effects from a Pierre Henry and the Electric Prunes made a psychedelic mass. They both failed miserably but I like the Spooky Tooth one.

          • HessianHunter

            I think Ki is the best thing Devin Townsend has ever done, as well as the most unique.

        • more beer

          Run away! Run away!

    • Metaphallus ov Steele

      Some Absu songs Proscriptor puts on like a weird old crone voice.

    • more beer

      Huntress are absolutely horrible. I had the misfortune of seeing them last week(comp tickets) and they were on before Kreator who I went for. Not a single riff that was worth a shit! It was the most painful set metal set I have ever witnessed and I`ve been to a lot of shows!!

      • VV.

        I’ve seen them open for another band too. Awful!

        • more beer

          Yea it took a few beers to get through their set. What really blew me away were how many people were loving them. I left during Arch Enemy wasn`t impressed with the either.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            even though she looks half way decent ? fake tits though. Don’t care for that, the sign of a fake metal singer i guess.

          • more beer

            Just not a good band ok looking chick or not. I don`t have to go to a show to see an ok looking chick when there are gorgeous women everywhere.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I hear ya.

  • Xan

    Shit, I didn’t know we could nominate ourselves. In that case, I’ll have a video for you as soon as it uploads.

  • The Satan Ov Hell

    Come at me, I am prepared.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Darn, that Chelsea and the Grins really was a lot of kinds of crap, and all of them crap.

  • KJM

    King Diamond? SLAYER?!! My jimmies are so fucking rustled right now. I may need Fentanyl.

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      ABSU ?
      Has the world turned upside down ?

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        Off topic but STING HAS JUST SET FOOT IN A WWE RING. STING HAS SHOWN UP AT SURVIVOR SERIES.

        • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

          That might make me watch monday. And i haven’t seen a wwe program for over a decade.

        • Count_Breznak

          Too bad that you are probably talking about the “wrestler” 🙁

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I love Sting. Wrestling is fake but Sting is fucking awesome. His feud with Hogan which took up the entire year of 1997 was one of the greatest feuds ever, up there with Tommy Dreamer and Raven and the feud between Steve Austin and Vince McMahon.

  • Bözlinger

    Many rustled jimmies…hey, shouldn’t have all been KIng NoNuts?

    • CyberneticOrganism

      The Great Rustling #2014 #neverforget

      • KJM

        #rustlemania #showcaseoftheimmortals

        • CyberneticOrganism

          #metalhashtags #lolbuttz #AxlFacts

          • #JimGordon

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

            Jim Gordon once Jim Gordoned himself, it caused a rip in the space time continuum that even the Q continuum couldn’t continuum.

            #JimGordonFacts

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            #TheJimmyRustlingSurvivorSeries has begun. The last person with unrustled jimmies as of midnight tomorrow wins. You must be wary though, as I have won this event before.

  • Dennis Moore

    Wow there mate! Proscriptor can do nothing bad.

    • Scrimm

      This is true. except for being stupid enough not to bring enough merch to last a whole tour. I was so disappointed.

      • Dennis Moore

        Your fault, not his. Praised be Proscriptor!

  • IronLawnmower

    *Any word king diamond has ever sung ever*

    In other news my life has dug itself out from a pit of despair and shittiness.

    • Metaphysical Rites ov Rectum

      How is this heretic still alive? Be he immortal? I thought I torched you at the stake not long ago.

      • IronLawnmower

        Because King Diamond sounds like a goddamn clown.

        • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

          I’ll re-torch you if I have to! Ya hear me rascal! I’ll re-torch you!

          • IronLawnmower

            Fair dig!

    • KJM

      Counseling, therapy, church(optional): Repeat as needed. Add Metal.

      • IronLawnmower

        Way ahead of ye man

        • Akercocke ov Steele

          Add alcohol which I assume you have already done.

    • don’t listen to Spear’s nomination. your life might go right back into said pit.

      • IronLawnmower

        I’m on the floor laughing at whatever the fuck that is.

        • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

          There were a bunch of good ones. The Metallica video was hilarious. The Huntress video I almost voted for you, W, but you sexualized it and made me visualize her anus, so she won me over.

  • DoYouThinkHeSaurus
    • KJM

      #clevergirl

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Great article picture btw, very fitting as I finally bought that Cryo Chamber Cthulhu track after streaming it about a hundred times.

    • VV.

      That track was siqqq

  • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

    Unrelated, I was watching The Wire s2 ep1 and who’s croaking at the opening? Why it’s Tom Waits? Have to go on a Waits binge tonight

    • Stockhausen

      Whoa! What song?

      • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

        Way down in the hole

        • Stockhausen

          Nice. A little Frank’s Wild Years action.

          • KJM

            Seeing him live is a top priority. Something always goes wrong and I don’t end up going or being able to get tix. I hope I get another chance.

          • Stockhausen

            I WILL be at his next concert.

          • KJM

            As will I if something stupid doesn’t go wrong. Again.

          • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

            And me! Unless it’s like his every other concert ever and it costs me four grands to get there!

          • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

            It’s in every ep! Yay!

    • m/

  • Stockhausen

    Satan ov Hell has my vote. That song sucks.

  • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

    This is super difficult. You guise always do a good job with these.

    • Xan

      Your name has reached new heights of amazing.

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

        Thanks. I ended up giving my vote to Spear because when I clicked on it I damn near spewed soda everywhere when it stated playing.

  • KJM

    This is some form of payback for talking trash about Manowar, isn’t it?

    • VV.

      Never forgive. Never forget.

  • Sacritastic

    Can´t decide which is the worst.
    Kiss, Slayer, Bad News??

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

    My Jimmies are unrustleble, but I don’t see the problem with Angel of Death. Say whatever you want about the state of Slayer right now, but RiB is a good album.

    • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

      I like Rest In Beer too!

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

        Stay ENRUSTLEMENTED

        • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

          ENRUSTLEFICATION OV THE JIMMIFIED

          • KJM

            RUSTLISTIC TERROR, A VAST JIMMISTIC FEAST

          • KING RUSTLING OF JIMMY MOUNTAIN

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

            Hubert, Rustlegoat of Jimmydoom

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            REIGN IN JIMMIES, FROM A RUSTLINGATED SKY!

          • JIMMILITARY RUSTELLIGENCE, TWO WORDS COMBINED THAT DON’T MAKE SENSE

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            A MOMENTARY RUSTLING OF JIMMIES is an amazing Pink Floyd album, second to The Final Cut.

    • KJM

      As far as I’m concerned, Slayer are done. Their next disc isn’t even on my radar and I won’t ever see them live again. 7 times is enough.

      I’m mostly just having some dumbass fun on a Sunday, but if that riff is good enough for Public Enemy, it’s good enough for me.

      • the handful of times i’ve seen Slayer, setlist has been the same.

        • KJM

          The last 3 times I saw them, they were part of either a big festival(Ozzfest, Mayhem) or a double bill(Marilyn Manson in 2007) so the setlist was heavy on the “hits”.

        • KJM

          This is the last time I saw them

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7xxFNtWSdA

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            Tom Araya looks like Santa Claus now.

          • Max

            He really needs to lose the beard.

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            You now have the best username EVER.

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            Thank you my lord, I think I might keep it this way 😉

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            I am sure the powerful entity known as choronzon would give his blessing.

      • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

        I don’t care for current Slayer either, but early Slayer >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

        • KJM

          That’s why I went to the shows despite whatever mediocre album they were touring behind, to see those classic songs. Also, being the Sub-Ancient Lich that I am, I was lucky enough to see the ‘Reign In Blood’ and ‘South Of Heaven’ tours.

          • VV.

            Hot dang, how much Metamucil do you have to slam before shows? 😉

          • KJM

            Chomping Ex-Lax like it’s Reese’s.

          • VV.

            I bet you’ve seen some sweet tours from plenty of bands in their heyday. I’m not the youngest dude here, but I don’t yet quite have the benefit of hindsight to say, “I saw those dudes before they blew up.”

          • KJM

            I was a teenager in the 80s. I got to see many legends at club or small theater level as well as bands that were already huge at the time.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Lucky you. Did you ever see Golden Earring or Krokus? I would love to see Golden Earring but they haven’t toured the US since 1984.

          • KJM

            Neither unfortunately. I would’ve loved to have seen Krokus on the ‘headhunter’ tour.

          • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

            RIVAROXABAN >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

          • more beer

            I had seen them 9 times by the time South Of Heaven came out and not again until this last tour. Plus seeing them as special guests of Possessed right before Reign In Blood came out. They only played 3 songs but killed it. I went to the last tour because my buddy wanted me to go with him and bought me a ticket it was the best set list I ever seen but the worst set I had ever seen. Both of us as we were leaving said I won`t ever be seeing them again.

    • Dennis Moore

      I’ve never liked it. It’s so boring and forgettable. It feels like most of the songs are just filler.

  • IronLawnmower

    http://youtu.be/YUJbwjRvgA8

    http://youtu.be/8LwYlhqmX8M

    This guy has made dozens of albums

  • i think this is an appropriate time to say FUKK KISS

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      FVCK. KISS.

    • Scrimm

      I think any time is appropriate for that.

    • I retract my previous statement about pop, I was in a shitty ass mood that day and everything was making me angry lol.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

      FVKK KISS. Gene Simmons is a prick who says stupid shit and they hired scabs to fill the places of Ace and Peter.

      • KJM

        Saw them 3 times, original lineup only.

        Gene seems to think that financial success gives you license to be a selfish asshole. He also likes to engage in revisionist history too.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

          A lot of southern rock bands revise their histories as well. The Outlaws act as if Hughie Thomasson never existed and Molly Hatchet act as if Danny Joe Brown wasn’t the heart of the band.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Always appropriate

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Anytime is appropriate for that.

  • Scrimm

    Yet another great choice for the art this week W.
    King Diamond? Jimmies so rustled.

    • VV.

      I remember hearing that track and thinking, “Ah, so this is why they canned this guy.”

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      yea, diamond and absu ? !! i think that with all due respect some folks need to visit their physician and get the shit cleaned out of their ears. By the way, how was the KD concert, did you get close to the stage.

      • Akercocke ov Steele

        ABSU is unflushable

        • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

          a person cannot even take an absu cd into a building that has plumbing, if you try the disc will send you hurtling into another dimension. It must be only listened to in a hallowed place where no toilets dwell.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

    What pills was Varg taking when he was recording that song? What is he saying in the beginning? “This is, uuhhuh, whoa”

    • Howard Dean

      It’s actually a mistake that they left in, I believe. I think he kind of laughed mid-sentence: “This is, hah… WAR.”

      It’s funny to me that everyone is pointing out the vocals (which are the same vocals he used on the first three albums + the Aske EP), and no one has said a word about the godawful solo Euronymous attempts to play in this song. What a shitpile.

      • people aren’t making a very good sale for a black metal n00b to get into Burzum.

        • Howard Dean

          Burzum is legendary. Pay attention to riff of the week next Saturday. I’ll submit a Burzum riff and you can see what the fuss is about. Varg was pretty much the first guy to combine the musical aesthetics of black metal with unreal atmosphere. The dude was pumping out legendary black metal by the bushel when the rest of the Norwegians were still getting on their feet and finding their direction.

        • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

          don’t listen to the varg propaganda. A second if not 3rd tier player in the black metal scene. Only talked about because of his criminal activites. A blight on the scene. To this day a person cannot discuss black metal without snide remarks being made by other metal genre fans. Just go to the source. Bathory (1984 self titled album) Widely acknowledged as the first true black metal album. Venom has an album with a pentagram on it called “black metal”. That doesnt mean they created it or played it. Their music was in the mold of a second rate motorhead. Plus their almost immediate revelation that they used the satanic angle to sell a few records turned me and many off of them. That kind of crass use of a belief system is very distasteful. Would motley crue ever have broken big without their wholesale embrace of faux satanism on shout at the devil ? The answer is a resounding NO.

    • ???

      in 0:56 it seems likes he was coughing lol the entire song is so painful to hear! the riffs isn’t that bad, but the vocals ruin it 😛

  • VV.

    I feel bad taking a dump on some of the smaller fries in this list, so I’m voting for someone who should know better. Shame on you, Dani Filth. That Capture the Crown song is probably one of the most obnoxious things I’ve ever heard, though.

    • Squibble Skwonk

      Cradle of Filth is in the same confusing category as In This Moment, for me, which is: How are they so relatively popular when everyone seems to hate them? I don’t understand.

      • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

        You can add Dimmu Borgirl to them too. The obnoxiously loud haters aren’t really so multiple as they seem. (Many of the haters fon’t really hate. I know many “haters” whi’ve seen ’em multiple times and have even some of the newer albums.) I suspect the case is same for each of these bands.

      • VV.

        It’s the underground vs. mainstream phenomena. In This Moment have an image cultivated for the mainstream, but as to why CoF got so huge for the non-underground crowd, I have no idea.

    • Lacertilian

      A guy who used to work with me until recently found out I was into metal, not difficult since it is usually blasting out the truck stereo on most job s(h)ites.
      He said his old school friend played bass in a metal band that was signed to Sumerian.
      I didn’t believe him, so he showed me this Capture The Crown poo.
      Then it all made sense.
      Terrible name, terrible band with terrible music.
      FLUSH!

  • Leif gets my vote, that shit is hilarious.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    My whiff of the week is below. This band has had one hit in almost 50 years and they thought that 2 years after their 15 minutes of fame they could release a psychedelic mass as an album. This song is full of whiffs and the band who made this wasn’t that good in my opinion. The album was also the brainchild of a record executive who probably got fired for this idea and each side of the album was one specific band doing the music as the real band couldn’t play the material. Fuck the Electric Prunes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgv5TIwfIg8

    • while the religious elements are off-putting (that’s just me), the music isn’t half bad!

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        I hate this band. They released an album this year and it was much better than this album or its sequel Release Of An Oath which had no original members in the band.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

        Their version of Kyrie was in Easy Rider and that was the best song on the album. Here’s that song. Here’s a little footnote about the album:

        An interesting historical footnote to this song: it isn’t actually the Electric Prunes on this record. It’s the Canadian band “The Collectors”, who later changed their name to “Chilliwack”.

        The Prunes manager had composer David Axelrod write the material for the Prune’s third album, but the songs outstripped the garage band’s technical abilities. The band broke up during the recording, & Axelrod brought in The Collectors to record it under The Electric Prunes name.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMHNyNg6Ybw

  • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

    So, I know most of you guise would rather flush it, but has anyone heard any titewerk power/prog albums that I’ve missed this year?

    • VV.

      One of my favorite albums this year was a progressive death rekkid by Torrential Downpour.

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

        I meant to emphasize the “Power” part of my post, sry dubs

  • B00mhauer

    Including Burzum in a list of shitty screams? Too easy. Like shooting candy in a baby, or whatever.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Yeah but, come on man, jesus he’s awful. Reinforcement is never a bad thing.

  • Gvrp

    Should have sent in a Silencer song.

  • You guys should do best worst scream, I would nominate various points from that new Overkill album, Blitz is so awful it’s great.

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

      Actually a “best screams” version would be real awesome.

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      My favorite description of the blitzs’ voice is that it is like brian johnson attempting to sing thrash/understandable death metal and succeeding..

  • KJM

    Apropos of nothing, I just played some Rocksmith 2014 for the first time in a minute and laid a nice beatdown on their Chords 201 practice track.

    • KJM

      Chords 201, 100% Accuracy! #FlawlessVictory

      • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

        FINISH HIM

  • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

    If all you do is listen to metal, you’re not prepared for the universe.
    http://youtu.be/1DmbY-ZPx70

  • Utmu, you have failed me for the last time. Also the first.

    • BLVCKBEVRD’S QQ CVNTINVVM

      OT: i know i could just email you guise about this but i’m super lazy, being Q can be boring. What format do you guise want things submitted to you in?

  • Mastergod Steel Angel

    Coolstorybro, I dont know how we will get past this. Insulting the King is unforgivable but we will have to work past this.

  • Akercocke ov Steele

    Is it possible that we do a sitar solo of the week? Also, would it then be allowed to put the same song back up?

  • Howard Dean

    If Angel of Death wins a “whiff” of the week, I am leaving. Permanently. Because wow.

    I’m not saying you have to love or even like that song, or the band itself. But if you think that song sucks, you do not like metal. That is an objective fact, not an opinion.

    • The Satan Ov Hell

      It was the ultimate rustle, I succeeded.

    • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

      Didn’t vote for it but that scream is weak.
      On another note, if there will be no winning for this whiff will our eyes be graced by a new none more black article?
      I was enjoying them

      • Howard Dean

        Though I would love to continue writing for the Toilet, I sadly don’t foresee myself writing anymore. I’ve even cutback dramatically on my commenting. My comment volume and overall activity has been way down as of the past month or so. I honestly don’t have the time. And I will in all likelihood be even more inactive in the coming months. I will be pursuing a professional degree soon and am swamped with the duties of life. So it goes. Lifeloving and shit.

        • Akercocke ov Steele

          May your future endeavors be filled with a million BYAHs.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          Fuck lifeloving.
          Anyway…
          Good luck.

        • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

          Sad. For the Toilet that is, luck in yer future endeavors

    • Dennis Moore

      So Joe has been right all this time.

      • Howard Dean

        I guess I don’t know what you mean.

        • I’ve told him that he doesn’t actually like metal. Joe knows all.

          • Howard Dean

            Oh, hahaha.

  • MoshOff

    KEEP GOING!

    I WHISH I COULD BE THEEEE OOOOONE

    That video is priceless.

    • Leif Bearikson

      When everyone starts playing something different I die. Its just too spectacular for words

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    1. King Diamond is unflushable. Period.
    2. Fuck Cradle of Filth.
    3. Howard Dean– Hahaha dude wtf? I kinda like it too, it’s so ridiculous.
    4. Huntress is terrible. *flush*
    5. Angel of Death is an unflushable song from an unflushable album. RIP Jeff. Screw Kerry “Burger” King.
    6. Stay Void.

  • Max

    Of course, Burzum’s “Waging Total Wow” is a definitive example from my youth, but I’ll go with the Avenged Sevenfold cover. Shit’s hilarious, especially the comparison part.

    Bonus points, though, for the guy from Capture the Crown for using the phrase “fresh air” in the lyrics during his bad-cop vocals.

    Also bonus points to Simon Belmont for just…yeah.

  • Simon PhoenixKing

    Squibble gets the vote. When even Chelsea Grin sounds better than you at incorporating both Electronica and clean vocals , you know your band is shit.

    Also, I call bullshit to Utmo. The falsetto at the beginning is one of the best things about Earth Ripper.

  • Squibble Skwonk

    AHA! I’m winning! I’m glad I’m not the only one that hates Capture the Crown.

    Or maybe you lazy fuckers just picked mine because it’s the last one and you didn’t feel like scrolling back up for comparisons. In which case shame on you!

    • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

      Given that Slayer was about to win a while ago, most likely CtC is just that bad.

      • Looking forward to the new Slayer? To me, they just need to hang it up. The new single they put out is a blatant ripoff of Tiamat’s ‘A Deeper Kind Of Slumber’ for fuck’s sake.

        • Rustling Rites ov Jimmies

          Haven’t been looking forward for a new slauer in aeons.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    Whiff of the century is as follows: If the Electric Prunes thought that their album Mass In F Minor was a bad idea than they must consider this the worst idea for an album ever. Another concept album about an obscure religious ritual with no original members in the band and at this point even more generic than Strawberry Alarm Clock it’s no wonder why the band disbanded after their next album. Who thought this was a good idea? They sure didn’t and neither did most record buyers from that time. Even less people thought their next album was a good idea.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pVUkQbcO4o

  • HessianHunter

    Huntress is medio-core for sure, but that song has some charm to it, mainly because I like her goofy baby-shrieks for some reason.

    • JWG

      This is faint praise, but a good start. I’ll work with whatever I can get…

      I’m getting weary of being the TOH Community’s only (admitted) Huntress fan. It’s just so hard to convince anyone that I like the band for what they do, and not how they’re presented.

      • VV.

        Is it okay that I dislike the band for what they do and how they’re presented?

        • JWG

          Frankly, yes. I do fully understand the analysis behind both opinions. I’m just more in a just-positive grey area on the same.

          And I *can* justify listening to mediocre metal. Just this once…

          …Okay, maybe not just once.

  • Akercocke ov Steele

    Oh damn I just realized someone put Absu on here as their whiff. My once-thought-unrustleable jimmies have been thoroughly rustled with!

    • Elite Extremöphile

      No jimmies are safe from rustling!

  • Pierre Generic

    Recently it was Venom and Manowar and now it’s King Diamond and Slayer. The TOH crew don’t care who’s jimmies they rustle.

  • Lacertilian

    No @captainsatanovhell:disqus NO.
    Your punishment shall consist of writing a thesis on the impact of Reign In Blood, focusing specifically on Joseph Mengale.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    listen to the 2nd vid–100% vol

    then watch with either the 1st—or 2nd video muted

    choose ye well—-for humanity is at a crossroads–

    and it is up to you–to make the right decision—

    dont let others ever tell you what to think in life–
    fuck those motherfuckers—let them fall apart–

    metal>>>unto the great world gathering–of the true–>>

    class
    ——-

    http://youtu.be/6EohKQ_rCVo

    http://youtu.be/rBAj3WPX0i8

    http://youtu.be/q_OYisZ9ag8

  • Want gutteral and brutal? Here ya go, and yes it’s a real band.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQoBnUO3ZqQ

  • Dental_Damnation

    Remember when In This Moment was a some kind of core band with screaming. Her scream is literally like nails on a chalkboard or a child shreiking on the bus first thing in the morning. Just the fucking worse.