Whiff o’ the Week (11/16/14)

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Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Choose your passage into the void. This is Whiff o’ the Week.

Last week, Masterpants and Joe Trailerpantsnkill tied for the most offensive whiff. I guess the public has decided that Venom are as awful as Texas Hippie Coalition. I wonder how KSOFM feels about that. Anyway, Joe has now earned one full trophy after his two half victories. Congratulations!

poll3

Okay, so let’s keep the themed whiff train rolling. Next week’s category: Worst scream ever!Submit your entries to the gmail.

This week’s competition is to decide the most egregiously bad song on an otherwise great album. Test each song below and cast your die!


W.

I was originally going to select “Escape” by Metallica, but Howard Dean threatened to rip my beating heart from my chest and consume it like the high priest from the Temple of Doom. I happen to be fond of my heart, so I decided to search for a different whiff. Thankfully, my memory did not fail me, and I believe I have discovered an even bigger stinker. Before I introduce my whiff, I need to set something straight. There will never be another metal album as metal as Kings of Metal by Manowar. The album is the crown jewel of trve metal, and it would be utterly flawless except for one blunder. For some reason, the band thought that including the hokey “Pleasure Slave” on an otherwise peerless testament to testosterone and steel would be a good idea. Unfortunately, the band didn’t realize that the misogynistic anthem, even if it is tongue-in-cheek, would be a major turn-off for many fans. This song is such a strange decision that supposedly Ross the Boss quit the band after the recording of this album. Oh well. Thankfully, Manowar got back to their welcome vaguely homoerotic paeans to the glory of metal after this effort.


James Jimmy McNulty

BTBAM is good at mixing a thousand things in a blender and producing excellence… Except with this song. Skip to 1:50 for cringeworthy melodic vocals followed by goofy deathcore garbage. This song feels like another band trying to copy/pasta BTBAM and failing at it.


MoshOff

I really enjoyed The FacelessAutotheism and found it to be pretty spotless. That is, except for this abomination of an “intelectual” interlude. *shudders* It’s stuff like this that makes me not want to be associated with atheists in any way.


Lacertilian22

While this may be an amusing attempt at deconstructed metal, it is a fucking B-side and a shame that halfway through Far Beyond Driven you have to push skip to get past this track. I don’t even care if Dime was using a fucking beer can to play the riff. Leave it on the Vulgar videos or whatever.

Great album, song not needed.


Ellipsis

“I don’t know how to live through this hell!” screeches James Hetfield at the start of “Trapped Under Ice”, and I couldn’t agree more. Metallica’s Ride The Lightning is a classic, but this four minutes of thrash meandering is a low point of their mid-eighties heyday. Metallica have shown some good sense and have only played the song 21 times in it’s 30 year existence. “I can’t take anymore!” Indeed.


JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch

Through The Ashes Of Empires was a great return to form for Machine Head but this song always bored the shit outta me.


Papa Joe Trailerpantsnkill

Regardless of what you think of Megadeth or Dave Mustaine, “Countdown to Extinction” is a pretty sweet album and one of my longtime favorites. Every song is fantastic. Well, almost every song. I hate “High Speed Dirt”. Hate it, brah. It is a cheesy tune about how much the band likes skydiving. It’s boring rockstar shit that doesn’t belong anywhere on the same album as “Symphony of Destruction”, “Foreclosure of a Dream”, or “Sweating Bullets”.

 


DeadButtDreaming

Nazareth doesn’t need to be covered. In fact, Nazareth doesn’t need to exist at all. Another great album with a stupid cover song included for no reason.


SMOHLG

In 2013, Rotting Christ proved they can still bring it after 2+ decades of slaying posevrs. Kata Ton Daimona Eaytoy is brimming with anthemic riffs and choruses, creating an energy that makes the album an absolute juggernaut. Only one song can’t hang and it just so happens to be the one smack dab in the middle of the album. “Cine lubeşte Şi Lasă” is an overly long, boner killing track that halts the album’s momentum. Listen for yourself.


Lady SteelDragon

This album is awesome, but I honestly don’t know what they were thinking when they decided to include this self-important shit-stain of a song.


Leif Bearikson

I make sure to skip this song every time. From that godawful opening riff that sounds like bad metal reggae (Skindred?) to the flat chorus. The only thing worthwhile about the song is the “goddamn” Randy belts out at 1:42, and even then I’m just thinking “GODDAMN, why did I make it this far into this song?”


Okay flushalos, what say you? What is the most offensive turd among diamonds?

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 16-11-2014 10:00:00
end_date 17-11-2014 01:00:00
Poll Results:
Which of these songs is the most offensive turd among diamonds?
Feel free to defend any of these choices in the comments section and tell me what a turd I am for my opinion. Also, if you hate something I love, send it to me for the next Whiff o’ the Week! All opinions here are strictly those of the writer in question, although most of them are correct.
(Photo VIA)

  • Kim Jong Un’s Big Beef Burrito
    • Tyree Wears Trailer Pants

      HELL FUCKING YES!!!

      • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

        Definitely underrated. And the whole ‘Apocalyto’ thing they have on certain tracks simply adds to the whole atmosphere.
        Who’d think there’s black metal in Mexico? Then again, the Norwegians ripped off Sarcofago big time, and they’re Brazilian. Go fig!

    • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

      This is siqqq

    • Simon PhoenixKing

      I love Hacavitz to death. But this video is eternal lulz city.

      Simon says sweet greenscreen effects, brah.

      Hacavitz – Video -: http://youtu.be/44XOBwz5_0g

  • i’m okay with not getting any votes. you guys have picked some STINKERS!!!

    • Xan

      Fear not, I voted for you.

    • Edward

      When I checked RotW yesterday, I had only picked up two (two?!?!) votes for Sannhet. RotW and WotW are a grvm competition with no quarter given.

      • Pagliacci is TeamEd

        I got your back, buddy!

  • Gurp

    A six and a half minute piano ballad? Seriously?

    And, for The Faceless, I’d have to say any time Michael Keene sings just ruins it for me.

    • Howard Dean

      I couldn’t choose that one because half of Autotheism is filled with whiffs. No one in metal loves him/herself quite as much as Keene loves himself. Textbook narcissist.

      • Gurp

        I’ll cop to not having read any interviews with the guy, just a bunch of hearsay. But I have noticed that The Faceless’ lineup seems to be, uh, unstable.

  • i would have voted for “Escape”, Dubya ole’ buddy! i’m the rare detective who considers Ride the Lightning to be a flusher.

    • Howard Dean

      Booooo!

      • oh i’ve got TONS of unpopular opinions! RtL only has a few fast thrashers and i feel it begins their descent into Black Album territory (i know, i know which albums comes next and i love it)

        • Howard Dean

          I like RtL a lot better than Master of Puppets. I actually like Kill ’em All better than MoP. I think MoP might be the most overrated of their thrash albums.

          RtL is just an all around great album in my opinion. Wonderful thrashers like the eponymous track, Trapped Under Ice, and Creeping Death, somber semi-ballads that show their range ike Fade Into Black and Escape, and the monster instrumental to close it all out.

          • Lacertilian

            I love Trapped Under Ice.
            One of the top 4 from that album in my books.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    -Agh!!!!! The VENOM sacrilege!!! My FUCKIN’ JIMMIES!!!!

    -“ESCAPE” is worse than “TRAPPED UNDER ICE.”

    -Always loved “GOOD FRIENDS…”…to put that on the album was a bold move, especially in ’94. Listening to that as a 19 year-old…it was like LULU…but you know, good? Maybe? Can’t argue that one, nice choice.

    -Love NAZARETH. Love ARTILLERY.

    The rest may as well be labelled “BAG OF TRAIN-HOPPIN’ HOBO SHIT” with George Clarke’s (I fucking HATE that I know his cunting name) face on it.

    JIMMIE RUSTLING QUOTIENT THIS WEEK= 20% *Mild discomfort in sac*

    • …Ellipsis…

      Escape is a big ol’ pile of meh, but Trapped Under Ice sounds like a punk band parodying thrash with its’ half arsed riffage and offensively stupid lyrics. I seriously hate this song with a passion.

      • Mr.CustodialArts

        Those two duking it out is some midget wrestling, for sure…

      • Old Man Hetfield

        Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery
        He hears the silence so loud…

        #… #Poser

        • …Ellipsis…

          Jimmy H himself has come to smite me. Unfortunately for you, unlike bears, it’s definitely socially unacceptable to hunt IMNs.. or maybe there’re equally acceptable… I’ll buy St. Anger and Lulu and we’ll call it even?

      • KJM

        -___-

    • Xan

      Last week rustled my jimmiez pretty hard. I liked 1/4 of the “whiffs” posted. Not really a fan of any of the music posted today, so I’m not too butthurt.

    • KJM

      Oh, I’m gonna rustle some jimmies to make up for the Venom sacrilege, I assure you.

      • Cock ov Steele

        Do it for High Speed Dirt as well, that song is my jam.

        • KJM

          I only like the first two Megadeth discs.

    • ParallaxativeHyperStool

      Srsly I found most songs on this list to be not bad at all. Just because it’s not the greatest work of an amazing band doesn’t mean it’s a shitturd. I guess it’s kind of hard to find real steamers on albums that don’t suck, but I mean come on.

      • JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch™

        But that was the criteria that we had to work within

        • ParallaxativeHyperStool

          I don’t want your shitbird excuses, I want you to start doing everything in a way that pleases only me. GET ON THAT SHIT.

  • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

    I’m casting my vote for The Faceless. Michael Keene’s “God don’t real” masturbation is just embarrassing.

    • i think we should take this opportunity to post the funniest god don’t real memes! i’ll start

      http://samvincente.com/ox/webcore/attachments/22063/if-god-isnt-real.jpg

      • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

        Is this an elaborate reference to the crazy Reddit user who constantly bombards certain subreddits with his asinine theories that the Israelites worshipped a volcano?

        • i have no clue, i can’t stand reddit. i just think that reddit atheists bring the LOLZ

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            ratheists make atheists look bad. If you ever want a laugh, go look up the “Faces of Atheism” event that happened on there a couple years back.

          • Mook Styfawker

            A personal saying I like to use a lot is “you know what’s worse than a religious person? An atheist with an ego.” Religious “discussions” on Reddit are always a trainwreck with varying levels of comedic value.

            Before I check out this “Faces of Atheism” thing, I need to know if it will hurt my brain in any way first?

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$
          • Mook Styfawker

            FUCK. THAT. THOSE PEOPLE CAN SUCK A SMEGMA INFESTED DICK.

          • Cock ov Steele

            I guess we should lump the Reddit Atheists in with the SJWs (many of whom will also gladly rant about how they’re Atheists)

          • Gurp

            Don’t forget the MRAs!

          • Cock ov Steele

            Do I even wanna know who they are?

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            Male Rights Activists. Of those listed, they’re definitely the worst.

          • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

            *tips fedora*

          • Cock ov Steele

            Oh gotcha. Sounds like most of them are just trolls though.

          • Gurp

            Men’s Rights Activists. What SJWs are for feminism, MRAs attempt to be for us poor oppressed menfolk.

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            Check your privilege, Gurp!

          • Cock ov Steele

            Huh I thought Men’s Rights started as a giant joke movement.

          • Gurp

            Well, if websites like Return of Kings are any indication, it became painfully unironic at some point.

          • Sacajaweas??? Sorry, I don’t know what SJW means.

          • The Satan Ov Hell

            I’m usually against controlling population, but the fedora gene needs to die out.

          • Cock ov Steele

            I had a friend who liked to wear Fedoras once. He wasn’t too bright.

        • Mr.CustodialArts

          They don’t?

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            Touche, Janitor.

        • JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch™

          AKA zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

        This is a new segment i like to call the 666 days ov Vargs’ trve christmas.
        On the 666th varg gave to me – a racist manifesto to read.

      • Lacertilian

        Get some perspective on your god of choices’ opinion on masturbation

        http://9gag.com/gag/aeNNq5q/perspective-don-t-masturbate

      • Lacertilian

        hmmm

    • Mook Styfawker

      Same. Don’t listen to the Faceless and don’t really care about them one bit, but that song was cringe worthy to the Nth degree.

      • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

        I actually liked some of the songs on this album.

        • the first three-song suite is decent! there’s just so much filler and Opeth/Devin worship (read: straight-up plagiarism)

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            Lots of filler, although I stand by my belief that “In Solitude” could have been penned by Chuck Schuldiner.

          • MoshOff

            YES, I noticed that too. I like Opeth and Devy so I’m not complaining. But it’s very obvious plagiarism.

    • MoshOff

      To me a lot of preachy atheists are just as bad as religious zealots who push their beliefs down other people’s throats. Their argument is always “SCIENCE, SHUT UP”, which honestly isn’t much better than “GOD, SHUT UP”.

  • Mook Styfawker

    Worst song on a good album? Test, on The Mind if a Terrible Thing to Taste by Ministry.

    Also, hai guys. I’ve been creeping a bit, not posting much (obviously). Probably will continue to do so.

    • HEY MOOK! no joke, two months since last post?

      • Mook Styfawker

        I’m a lousy flusher…

        • Mr.CustodialArts

          All you need to know is VENOM>DEAFHEAVEN.

          • >>>>>>>>>>>>> DEAFHEAVEN

          • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

            Eh, I like Deafheaven. Yes, bring out your pitchforks and torches!

            https://aroundthesphere.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/800px-simpsons_angry_mob.png

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            You have allies down here…DEAFHEAVEN FANS=BASEBALL FURIES. (I get to be AJAX!)
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL0ipXUD-uU

          • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey
          • is that our buddy @Dental_Damnation:disqus??

          • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

            Metalsucks user, I’m guessing?

          • yup, but he’s been here a time or two! i tried to get a few people to come to the Toilet, but it doesn’t always work out.

          • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

            I was converted from Metal Injection (which I still check out here and there) and people posting on there, and trying to make some converts. PS, hoping Toilet Ov Hell gets some shirts done by Christmas! They told me they’re working on it, but hoping to snag on with my Xmas cash.

          • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

            Pffffffft, that has nothing on this!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxkr4wS7XqY

          • Mook Styfawker

            I think he meant that Deafheaven only sucks when paired up with motherfucking VENOM.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            It’s all in good fun, man.

          • Mook Styfawker

            Oh, I know. Just making the joke that most things suck when compared to Venom, regardless of what they actually are. x)

          • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

            Bathory > Venom. NYAH!!!!!!!!

          • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

            Masterpants LOVES Deafheaven.

          • Mook Styfawker

            Well, no fucking shit, it’s mother fucking VENOM.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            WELCOME TO THE TOILET!!!!

        • Edward

          MOOK

    • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

      Hi, Mook! That’s a solid choice.

    • JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch™

      SHHH you’re giving away my future nominations

  • this is a difficult choice, considering many of the picks aren’t the only whiffs located on their respective albums! @Smohlg:disqus i’d pat you on the back, but it would probably hurt my hand.

    • I love that album so much and my heart just sinks every time that piano starts up.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom

    My vote goes to The Faceless. That interlude is embarrassing, and makes me want to not listen to The Faceless, EVER.

  • Spear

    Flush “High Speed Dirt,” flush mid-90’s Megadeth, and flush Mustaine.

  • Edward

    I wanna just vote for SMOLGH cause he is on here this week.

  • Edward

    Also I’d like to point out, again, that this “>>>>>>” “<<<<<>>>>>

    • >>>>>>>> a lot of us have been internetting for a long time, Ed.

      • Edward

        I won’t disagree with you there, BLVCKBEVRD. While “>>>>>>” is not a new phenomena on the internet as a whole, I do believe it has risen to prominence and popularity on the MS / ToH comments section only in recent times.

        • Lets come up with something new?

          • Edward

            #trill

            >>>>>>>

            Stay Tech / Grind / Void / Weird Death Forever

            RiotAct666’s famous phrasings… “that oh so heavy back breaking pool table on the dive bar tour”

            where do we go from here?

          • I’m not sure, Something to do with Taylor Swift? Pasting Kim Kardashian’s butt on to other pictures?

          • Edward

            Kim Kardashian’s photoshopped ass is the future, the way, the path.

          • I’m gonna start with being Edward for a day. This one is for the nerds.

          • Edward

            #RiotAct6664ADay

            Trailer pants everybody.

            Stay EDWVRD?!

          • I’m down >>><

          • JWG

            …I’m already ‘part’ Edward (it’s my other middle name. technically my screen name should be JWEG for completeness).

            I’ll go along with this in spirit.

          • Pagliacci is TeamEd

            #teamedward

          • this disqus needs more absurd and bad kardashian photoshopping to express our discontent with the mindless media content.

    • Every time I use it, I think of you!

  • Xan

    I have the perfect whiff for next week.

  • I like Escape. And good friends and a bottle of pills is brilliant. I am rustled so I guess this was a successful whiff of the week!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Agreed, GF&ABOP is a badass song. It’s like your ears are on meth.

      • Lacertilian

        I think it would work better on Trendkill.
        FBD is too beastly for a mid-album snooze..
        Hard to for me to do it but I do enjoy the odd rustle.

    • Cock ov Steele

      Well you rustled me with High Speed Dirt so I guess we’re even.

    • The Satan Ov Hell

      My submission for next week will not just rustle jimmies. It will break them.

  • Another tough one, fellas. I think I’ll give it to McNulty. That shit makes me want to lay another turd on top of it so I have to flush it twice.

  • May a thousand hawks descend upon you, W.

  • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

    That Machine Head songs sounds at first like a half-assed attempt at a bad Tool song. Flush!
    Still went with Faceless. Hörribyl!

    • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

      Robb Flynt is the new Geoff Tate. From trend-jumping, to cussing out COB fans because he himself cancelled out on the tour, cancelling every other gig and blaming it on the fans, and after the COB incident retracting and saying “oh it was just a prank! Gotcha!”………. Yep, he pretty much came fresh from the loins of Geoff Tate!

      • MoshOff

        I had the chance to be seeing Machine Head right now. I’ve chosen not to because RF is being a bigger toolbag than usual as of late.

        • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

          Saw them once. Was entertained. Won’t go again. They were with Metallica. Was entertained again (for about half-a-set). Definitely won’t go again.

  • KJM

    Manowar, always. Most embarrassing band ever. Venom is KING FUCKING CRIMSON compared to Manowimp. That song is just another gag in the Limburger cheese wheel that is the Manowar discography.

    • IDK. Manowar can sometimes be stupid and posey but they are sufficiently proficient at singing and playing their instruments. Venom was/is just plain stupid AND talentless.

      I don’t mind Manowar’s cheese and pomp (though I agree with W. about Pleasure Slave–stupidest fucking song ever) but Joey DeMaio’s stupid yap usually takes all the fun out of their pretense. Rather than be like The Rock and say “hey…we all know this is just a scripted show” he really thinks he’s some man of war.

      Seriously: his stupid yap. I was listening to a live rendition of Herz aus Stahl recorded in Germany and the crowd sang the entire first verse at the top of their lungs…sorta gave me goosebumps and then DeMaio, the wannabe frontman who can’t even back-up sing, had to bring the song to a grinding fucking halt to give a big English speech on how great Germany and Germans are. Ruins the whole damned thing every time. That and his stupid bass solos nobody should ever endure.

      • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

        Venom can’t play their instruments and are surely stupid, yet enjoyable.

        Manowar (and mc fest) is just plain bullshit. What good is your skill if you can’t play a song? Manowar has become a walking joke and that makes it hard to listen even the old stuff.

        Venom was kinda always a joke and proud of it. Plus I like them, at least something by them.

        • 2002’s Warriors of the World was mostly good IMO.

          I don’t think I could agree that Manowar can’t play a song but you know…opining and such.

          • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

            Okay, for the record I meant more recent. Lords of Steel and such. My beefwith them might actually be more related to all that MagicCircleFest crap they’ve doing a lot lately. And Lords/Thealbumwithledzeppelinripoff were really bad both.

            All this makes it really hard to give any time to the older material. Which I ised to like.

          • Their last album was terrible. WTF is that stupid distorted bass-sound Joey had going on? He likes to demand a disproportionate amount of attention for a bassist.

      • KJM

        Yeah, the fact that they’re marks for their own gimmick is really the cherry on top. If I want sword & sorcery type Metal, I’ll go with the best(i.e. Dio, Iron Maiden).

        • Dio and Maiden are the best. This is an incontrovertible fact.

          • KJM

            Straight up.

      • everytime someone cites Venom, JAG comes with an axe and kill a puppy!

    • Utmu

      One time on Metal Archives there was this guy talking about how metalheads who don’t like Manowar aren’t real metalheads. At one point he replied with something along the lines of: “I just don’t know how to explain it, the feeling of being a Manowar fan is just something I can’t put into words.”

      Mind you that quote may not be entirely accurate, as I read this a while ago, but it was just so laughable.

      • MoshOff
        • Utmu

          “I have a tattoo that Joey has… it’s a tattoo that [they] created in the first days of Manowar, so it’s logical for me to get it too. I’m party of the family now.” *wink*

    • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey
      • KJM

        I’m honestly not surprised they live that badly or have to take day jobs. It’s not as if they were ever that successful even at their “peak”.

        • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

          I’m wondering why they don’t just move over to Germany. Pretty sure that even on a rather meager budget, they’d still be treated like mortal gods over there.

  • KJM

    I take Spinal Tap more seriously as a legit Metal band than Manowar.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      This ^^^ x 1000

  • Call the Slambulance

    Leif, you’re the man. I adore that album, but that song is just cringy, adolescent poo-poo.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    This is one of the most god-fucking-awful songs ever made.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XcqbKitHzY

  • KJM

    Whiff on an otherwise 5-star album? “22 Acacia Ave” by Iron Maiden. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that until now. Talk about misogynist lyrics…

    • Cock ov Steele

      Quest for Fire is one of my biggest whiffs.

      • KJM

        True, but it’s followed by ‘Sun & Steel’ which kicks major ass(or is it the other way around?).

        • Cock ov Steele

          I used to think so, and then I real listened to Sun & Steel and yes, that song kicks a lot of ass. Piece of Mind to me is like half good songs and a few filler tracks with a couple of those filler tracks being good.

    • Scrimm

      I love that song.

      • KJM

        Can’t cope, always skip it.

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      What do you have against catchy songs about whores, bro?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T1c7GkzRQQ

      • KJM

        The lyrics on that jam are a bit less cringe worthy than ‘Acacia’.

    • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

      You can spot a dianno penned lyric a mile away.

      • KJM

        Ah, that’s it then.

  • ParallaxativeHyperStool

    Extremophile Elite is a good fucking suck fuck right off. There’s a couple goofy parts but some of the shit at the end is beyond amazing.

    • ParallaxativeHyperStool

      I also enjoy Ptolemy was Wrong. SHRUG.

      • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

        Can’t win em all, I guess.

      • JWG

        I usually use ‘Ptolemy Was Wrong’ as a way to introduce non-metal fans slowly to The Ocean. Then I’ll drop “Firmament” on them because I’m impatient with doing it in increments already.

        PWR is a song that, taken on its own, could be seen as boring or less-quality than the rest, but if I’m going to listen to the whole album I’m going to listen to the whole album. It just sort of needs to be in there.

    • hey guy, you don’t seem to be here very often. REMEDY THIS PLS.
      EE isn’t a terrible song, but it’s shades worse than anything else on the album. i cannot CANNOT get over those clean vocals. there’s no hustle, there’s no flow.

      • ParallaxativeHyperStool

        Word, I get your gripe, I just don’t think it’s enough to qualify the song as a total whiff. Plus the bass parts so fun https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFx9dONbtG0 Also I know. I spend so much dang time on the Facebook community I forget to even check the site. A lot of times I just lurk because by the time I see an article I know my comment will just get buried in the sea of already existing comments.

        • oh crap, i don’t know who you are on facebook! i’m dustin french, send me a message so i know who you are!

        • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

          I know the editors would like it if you spent more time here than there.

          • ParallaxativeHyperStool

            GOTTA CHECK MY UPDATE, CHECK MY STATUS, CHECK MY UPDATE, CHECK MY STATUS.

  • JWG

    Worst scream? Someone will submit that In This Moment video for sure.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Trapped Under Ice is a great song. Fade to black sucks.

  • old_man_doom

    As much as I love BTBAM, I just could not hang with that last album, especially some of those longer songs (like McNulty’s pick). I know experimentation and blending all kinds of crazy shit is their thing, but it wouldn’t hurt if they could focus a little more on the next album.

  • old_man_doom

    I’m actually diggin’ on that Machinehead track. Never heard of it before. Sorry, Mr. Crünch.

  • Elite Träilerpäntsphile

    jimmy i realize shitting on the couch was not a good idea but i don’t think choosing that whiff was necessary

  • Squibble Skwonk

    I’ve always hated Between the Buried and Me. I’ve listened through a lot of their discography. I’ve seen them live. I just don’t get the appeal.

    • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

      Have you listened to Torrential Downpour? I much prefer Truth Knowledge Vision to anything put out by BTBAM since Colors.

      • I think Alaska was really the last album by them I actually put on #BLAST. They’re from my home state, so I’ve seen them numerous times. They aren’t my favorite, but they’re definitely good at what they do.

      • Squibble Skwonk

        I’m listening to it right now. Not too bad actually.

    • Colors>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>everything they’ve done 😛

  • JWG

    Sort-of apropos of DBD’s post, Artillery is playing here Friday night (with Onslaught, though I’m not sure which is the final act of the two and which is the preceding co-headliner).

    I’m undecided on going only because I’m not familiar with either band. In fact I’m less familiar with Thrash (outside the American Big 4 and a few Canadian bands) than I am with any other genre.

    But I will, definitely, bow to peer pressure. So I put it to you guys. Should I?

    • The real question: Do you have something better to do?

      • VV. VVears Trailer Pant$

        That’s the best question. I’ve seen a ton of bands here simply because I had the money and nothing better to do. Usually worth it.

    • Nordling No Trailerpants Karhu

      Both are worth it. Go.

  • Death

    Manowar or Pantera, both are absolutley horrible.

    • Lacertilian

      The criteria was for a bad song from a great album.
      FBD is the tits.
      I don’t know enough about the Manowar album to decide whether the album would have been any better without it.
      That Machine Head track smells bad but I think that album had a couple of snoozers mixed through.
      Hard voting this week.

      • Death

        Everything Pantera has releasded is shit.

        • …Ellipsis…

          Cemetery Gates? This Love? Strength Beyond Strength? Floods?
          Yesterday Don’t Mean Shit?

        • Lacertilian

          You left the word ‘hot’ from the end of that sentence, I understand though, you must be busy, dealing with the mortality of human scum though.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom

            Pantera is a shit hot

  • Death

    Unrelated, but can someone explain this “trailer pants” thing?

      • Death

        I still don’t understand this. I will walk the path of ignorance, alone.

        • Maybe they dont have trailers or pajamas in finland?

          • Death

            Maybe we do, but still. Are those pants usually worn by people who live in trailers?

          • I’m pretty sure that’s the message. Who fuckin’ knows. I shaved my beard off.

          • Death

            YOU DID WHAT?

          • awww, i didn’t shave, silly. just messing with you. but i did have to trim it

          • Guest

            how can a pirate be in seas without a beard? the salt and the winds will get you a flu 🙁

          • KJM

            I live in an apartment and I wear trailer/pajama pants if I’m not going anywhere.

  • JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch™

    High Speed Dirt and Good Friends… were 2 songs I considered for this week. Ellipsis, you are dead to me.

    • …Ellipsis…

      🙁

      • JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch™

        But then again, I copped ample flack for my AB selection last week.

    • Lacertilian

      I think you may have came close to outdoing me this week
      That MH track was poo on an otherwise good album.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    And by the way I vote for High Speed Crap.

  • Utmu

    Oh no, no, no, no, no. NO. SMOHLG, what are you thinking?! That’s like one of the best songs off that album (although I haven’t really given it a good listen recently). I will fight you over that.

    • It was one of my favorite albums from 2013 and I still listen to it constantly. Every time that piano fires up I groan. It isn’t the nature of the song that bugs me, I really don’t think they executed it well. Again, it’s far too long and the female vocals are not interesting to me. When the guitars fire up I think it might finally go somewhere, but the chorus with Tolis and the lady singing is just terribad.

      • Utmu

        I understand the intro being too long, but the riff is great, and I love the duet they have going.

  • D. Lee

    Teenager from the Deftones White Pony album. Awful, just fucking awful

  • Lacertilian

    Who can honestly say that they do this?
    *Insert Far Beyond Driven to CD player*
    *Skip to track 5 and play the entire track*
    *Turn stereo off feeling satisfied*

  • Lacertilian

    Is there even a riff to whiff in Hail Science?
    I can’t stand some of the other riffs on that album so I can’t vote for it based on this week’s criteria.
    I despise religion but I still think it smells.

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    As a Megadeth fan, I have to agree on High Speed Dirt so much, although I nearly went with Pantera. Either way, too late for the vote!

    • i would change High Speed Dirt for Psychotron.. At least High Speed Dirt have groove. Psychotron is plain, worst song of that record.. *flush* (am I learning how to flush, bros and sis?)

      • Further Down the Metal Hole

        Not that Psychotron is meant to be taken seriously, but I just can’t get over how goofy High Speed Dirt is at times. At least Psychotron is mean!

  • Kim Jong Un Pardons A Turkey

    BTW, anyone remember these chicks? Been listening to alot of them lately.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDHrsqre_TQ