What Metal Sticker Will You Slap on Your Whip This Election Season?

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With the primary election season in the United States looming ever closer, it makes complete sense that we’ll start to see potential heads of state all over the place. The world of metal has never been one to shy away from political commentary, but illustrator Christophe Szpajdell has put a new twist on the public discourse. Check out his re-designed political logos below, courtesy of John Brownlee and Fast Company Design.

Are you a hemp-wearing liberal who condemns trickle down economics and volunteers down at your local social justice bureau? This Bernie Sanders logo would look great on the back of your Prius right next to your “COEXIST” sticker.

Are you a coal-rolling conservative with a keen distrust of scientific evidence and a yearning for the good ol’ days? Perhaps this Rick Perry pentagram would be well suited between your twin smoke stacks.

Are you a bitcoin-purchasing, police privatization enthusiast with feet firmly planted in the libertarian camp? Slap this Rand Paul sticker on your nightstand next to your copy of Atlas Shrugged.

You can check out the rest of the stickers here! So, with which party genre do you align? Which of these stickers is your favorite? Sound off in the comments below!

h/t u/fantoman at Reddit.

(All Photos VIA)

  • Seth Putnam

    Domestic violence is really, really, really funny.

    • You comment on a metal blog.

      • Seth Putnam

        Being a cobbler is dumb.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Troll is mad because nobody is feeding him.

        • God

          He gave me an awesome band name idea.

          Coming 2017 the full length from Ass Locker! “Defecate flaming vomit on the nerdy masses”

        • Seth Putnam

          You have feelings.

    • Phil McSorley

      Goddamn right it is. I’m going to go cut up some homos now. New Recluse album is coming on soon fuckers. Make sure you buy it you pussies, you can only purchase it in my basement and I’m not giving out my address. Hail Satan!!!

      Fuck off Kim Kelly.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybgXSqUbMbc&feature=youtu.be

      • Seth Putnam

        You played in Cobalt

        • Phil McSorley

          Cobalt can suck a chode.

  • Void Dweller

    None.

    • Phil McSorley

      I choose Satan you, Cvnt.

  • EsusMoose

    I was excited for that leprous page but got this instead yo.
    The Rand Paul one is pretty cool

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box™

    Good job on posting the wrong article at first. I see everything.

    Actually on topic: American politics lol. Logos look pretty cool though, not a ton of variation but I would definitely slap one of these on my whip, whatever that means.

  • Stockhausen

    I’m back in this miserable, politically bankrupt country. I’ll put that Bernie Sanders sticker on my coffin while I cry about not being in Ireland.

    • Seth Putnam

      Ireland is gay.

      I became a counselor so I could tell rape victims they asked for it.

    • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

      As someone who is part-Irish and visits back regularly, I can wholeheartedly agree, Ireland is a wonderful place to be in.
      I understand why you must cry about this.

      • Stockhausen

        Let us weep together.

        • Alucard, Fuckmothering Vampire

          I weep most days, longing for a return to the emerald isle.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Your pictures of Ireland are love, life, etc. Seriously amazing looking country.

      • Stockhausen

        I’ll have a big stupid touristy album up soon. It’ll be excellent.

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      Dont jump! Barry retired too soon….

    • Between The Buried & Smee

      I was just there back in March. Are those the Cliffs of Moher?

    • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

      Lol, gotta love my Irish brethren! I have the most Irish name possible (Shaun Patrick Hamilton) and born on St. Patrick’s Day. Aka the one day where everyone gets to pretend to embrace culture and be drunken idiots even more than Cinco De Mayo.

      Fun fact: They color the river green in Chicago on St. Patrick’s Day. You know, to get it a color besides the brown/green/vomit color that it usually is.

      As for politics, at least you’re not in Australia!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3IaKVmkXuk

  • Celtic Frosty

    These all rule

  • Where’s the Hillary sticker? Also she did 9/11 so not voting for her.

    • Shrimp in a Pizza Box™

      Is there anyone that didn’t take part in 9/11 now?

      • EsusMoose

        The person who delivers my tendies didn’t have a hand in it. probably.

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        The remaining member of Morbid Angel. Destructos lasers can’t melt steel beams

      • None of the remaining members of Morbid Angel did 9/11.

        • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

          You fucker. We both had the same joke idea.

          • Yeah but as you can see I inverted your version and posted it microseconds before you did, so Mya!

          • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

            Are you me from microseconds into the future?

          • Yes, and I have a time machine, hence my ability to have an idea After you but post it Before you. (I repeat: Myah!)

          • Lacertilian

            You’re the Hicks to his Leary in this instance..
            On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: “I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.” – Bill Hicks

      • Too many redacted pages in that commission report to tell.

      • more beer

        zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • The W.

      It’s on the link, homey. Just updated.

    • Seth Putnam

      I convinced Bill to beat Hillary on a daily basis.

      • Phil McSorley

        I had some fucking pussy email me the other day about how his Recluse cassette was taking to long to get to him. So I drove to his apartment and cut him up real good. Fucker bled like a stuck pig.

        • God

          One time I killed a misquito. It was on purpose.

          • Phil McSorley

            I cut my self for Satan.

          • God

            I stabbed myself with a needle. To donate blood.

          • Phil McSorley

            Stabbing things is neat.

          • God

            I stabbed your mom. With my penis – Mr. Bojangles

          • Phil McSorley
          • God

            That makes me simultaneously want to vomit and eat at the same time.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            MMMMMM MMMMMMM!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I want some Bojangles! That looks delicious!

    • Dagon

      The day I vote for Monica Lewinsky’s ex-boyfriend’s wife is the day I start drinking hot beer!

      *Chugs beer
      *Rocks the rocking chair

      • Bernie would be the only one I can get behind. If he becomes the nominee I’ll have my doubts because that will mean he made some concessions.

        • Dagon

          I don’t know who he is. I don’t think Ben Carson is actually winning the Republican thingy, and anyway Rand Paul is more my style.

          The others are just RINOs.

          Edit–
          Why the fuck am I talking like I was going to vote anyway? lol I don’t even live in the US.

          • I know I can vote for the right person. I just don’t have any faith that the other millions of voters would do the same.

          • Dagon

            Voting is bullshit, you just need to pick the lesser of evils in your opinion.

            I’m currently reading a book entitled “Why Brazilians loathe politics and yet love the state” and it’s really interesting. We assume that politics are crooked assholes by default (which might be true for the majority of human beings) and yet most of us believe the government should be the one fixing all our problems. Who the fuck runs the government? lol

          • Voting would be fine if we had legit candidates. What we get instead are greedy sociopaths with no souls.

          • MoshOff

            Come to Spain RD, now we have more than two choices!

          • I want to get the hell out of here at some point but that’s not happening for a while.

          • Max

            Bureaucrats run the government. And they’re not necessarily as evil as politicians. Not necessarily.

            Also, you’re conflating “fix all our problems” with more mundane duties like “run the public transportation system”. Which most of us do indeed believe government should do. Because with a few decades of privatization now as evidence in most developed nations, it’s become pretty obvious that corporations are no better, if not blatantly worse, at running utilities than governments are.

          • Dagon

            I’m not conflating when it comes to Brazil. For an instance, after we lost to Germany in the 2014 World Cup people started a discussion about how the federal government should intervene in the National team and it carried on for days without a single public person dismissing the idea as ridiculous – which it is.

            That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about.

          • Max

            Actually yes, that is ridiculous.

            Although if the National team is funded by the taxpayer in any way (and I’m betting they are), I suppose there is a case to be made that the people’s elected representatives might deserve a say in the management of the team.

            Which is not to deny that government involvement in sport might be a frivolous step too far when, in this day and age, any non-excessively taxing state’s revenue base could quite easily be swallowed up just trying to maintain a socialized healthcare system, let alone justice/courts, defence and utilities.

          • Dagon

            You’re reaching towards my point. We have enough problems in Brasil with or without government intervention; our state is bloated, expensive to sustain and drastically innefective. There is no need for more intervention, increasing efficiency is super urgent.

            The whole World Cup was bullshit, to be honest. It shouldn’t have happened from a logical point of view. I loved the games, I love football and all the “zuera” that came with it but it should have happened somewhere else.

        • Óðinn

          Bernie Sanders. Agreed.

  • The W.

    Just made an edit and included a link to see the rest of the designs 🙂

    • EsusMoose

      editing is for nerds

    • Seth Putnam

      Editing is gay. You live in a houseboat

      • EsusMoose

        Hey how else does one live in the perpetually flooded land known as texasland?

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    Wish I had a politician that represented me…or a car for that matter.

    • They don’t represent us common folk. We should all know that by now.

    • I’d like to take this opportunity to announce my candidacy.

      • THRASHNKILL IS THE 1%

        DOWN WITH EDITORS

        • God

          EAT THE MODERATELY RICH METAL BLOG EDITORS

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        Campaign slogan: “Small hands, big heart. Vote Thrashnkill”.

        • God

          Alternate campaign slogan: “don’t be a nerd, vote for Joe.” Followed by some goofy clip art of someone shoved in a locker.

          • “Vote for Thashnkill: He’ll shove Big Business in a locker.”

            Or, alternately:

            “Vote for Thrashnkill: He’ll shove Big Government in a locker.”

          • God

            “Thrashnkill 2016, TayTay for the masses”

          • Dagon

            If it was the latter would vote/1million

          • Seth Putnam

            Vote for this candidate because he will shove big dildos in his ass locker because he has AIDS.

          • God

            Ass locker would be a great grindcore band.

      • Seth Putnam

        You ran for president because you are an orphan.

      • Dagon

        I love you bb but you wouldn’t be my candidate
        2taxing4me

        Vote Dagon in and I will guarantee everyone will have the right to, hm.. breathe and shit. Privatize beaches! Privatize your mom!

  • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

    Perry’s logo looks like a better logo for a baseball team

    • The W.

      My mother in law is a super sweet conservative lady, so the time she called Rick Perry a dumb redneck remains a favorite memory.

  • The Donald Trump one is great.

  • Maik Beninton™

    Since I’m brazillian I will consider this an open swim, video of the day:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v254H3oIAw

    • God

      I’m on mobile and can only see the title Vagina Lips…I’m on my employers wifi…decisions decisions.

      • Maik Beninton™

        It’s safe buddy.

        • God

          Fuck the system! *watches video*

      • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

        Do it while looking them in the eye

  • Dagon

    I’ll have two Rand Paul stickers, sir.

    Sue me.

    • God

      Holy shit it reads the same if you flip it over. This sticker is idiot proof

      • Maik Beninton™

        It does, I haven’t realized that until you said it.

        • Dagon

          He is omniscient after all

          • JW(E)G

            Aside: I’m pretty sure the “Messiah” (the false one anyway) is the guy they’re all trying to replace…

      • Dagon

        Good call, bro.

        Ninkasi is having one of those bullshit dinners this Friday, you are welcome. Let’s shoot the shit.

        • God

          Sounds good to me. I need a break from planning this apocalypse.

          • Dagon

            I know, shit is real. Poseidon only had Atlantis to take down and it was still a fucking chore. I can only imagine how much the whole world would be.

            Sometimes I’m glad I’m a retired deity.

          • God

            It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta cause the extinction of the human race.

      • Guppusmaximus

        Unfortunately, the candidate isn’t…

    • *Sues Dagon*
      *Complains that excessive litigation hampers the free market*

      • Dagon

        *Wishes the court system was already privatized*

        • *Gets sentenced to death by McDonalds for calling their food poison*

          • God

            *wants to participate but doesn’t know what to say*

            Bush did 9/11?

          • The W.

            That’s libel.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Sorry bruh, you’re a public figure. He could claim you raped his mom, totes legal 😉

          • someone’s been hanging out with JJD’s dad!

          • The W.

            And/or uncle.

          • Dagon

            JIMMY PLZ!

          • Herr Schmitty

            I have!

            Also had to take Law & Ethics of Communication to grab my journalism degree, so libel/defamation were a huge part of the course material. http://brianpaulnelson.com/communication-site/academic_programs_journalism.html

          • you’re responsible for one of the funniest jokes i’ve ever heard (RFI):

          • Herr Schmitty

            Real shit: My dad read that article and commented about that later. We had a good guffaw 😉

          • i just saw that.. had to backtrack to find it 😉

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Jimmy plz! My dad is a good lawyer and he’s religious! He would side with God!

          • sounds like a gud lawyer!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            He is. He hates a lot of my music though.

          • bullshit for he is your dad and you listen to dad rock. i’m sure he loves it.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            He only listens to Neil Young and the Grateful Dead. He hates the rest of the music I like.

          • does he like the fuckin’ Eagles?

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Yes.

          • i bet he’d love Uriah Heep. play “Salisbury” for him. tell him his bae Jimmy recommended it.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Plot twist: McNulty is JJD’s mom.

          • honestly, i wouldn’t doubt it.
            plot twist: you are @YourMomIsSmitty:disqus’s mom.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Actually I’m not. He was just too bleached.

          • God

            Fuck. Please don’t sue. Hell has all the lawyers and satan won’t give me any.

          • Dagon

            *Orders a quarterpounder as last meal*
            *Gets tofu out of spite*

        • Guacamole Jim
          • Dagon

            It’s actually not as scary in theory as it could be in practice. Like my man tertius_decimus said, the problem with anarchy is that it demands high levels of moral commitment to work.

            There has been good experiences with smaller communities regarding privatizing the police force and other services, but I don’t know of any large scale experience.

          • Guacamole Jim

            You’re right: in theory it’s not as terrifying as it is in practice. As is totalitarianism. Nothing on paper, in a vacuum, is ever as horrible as humans can make it in practical application.

            And, as we think about the practical application of privatized courts, I refer you to my above mfw.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Ohhhhh shit, you’ve gotta see what I saw in the state prison system of Florida. We had privatized camps out there.

            Spoiler: when you create financial incentive for incarceration, lots of people will be needlessly incarcerated. Jaywalking? 5 years in prison, 10 years probation!

          • I forget where I read it but people who go to privitized prisons are putting together merch for places like Target, etc. in some of them.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Yeah. In Florida the primary beneficiaries of cheap inmate labor are Pride corporation. At the camps I was at, they ran a variety of local industries; they had a meat packing plant, garment manufacturing plant, lumber yard (most of the lumber was used to make wooden furniture, IIRC)… they have their hands in a lot of shit. I have little doubt that places like Target and Wal-Mart sell those goods.

            The inmates who worked these jobs usually took home anywhere from $0.20-$0.50/hour for their work after taxes and the prison system got their hands on the money.

            http://www.pride-enterprises.org/

          • Hooray capitalist slavery.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Yeah, that’s basically what I call it; new slavery. http://www.alternet.org/america-never-really-ended-slavery

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            I like the added touch of illegal search and seizures that result in drug busts whereby the arresting department gets to keep the impounded cars and other material goods…its a great source of revenue.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Yup, and then sell it cheaply at auction for profit! It’s a great system they have set up for themselves. Damn. My anti-law-enforcement rage is comin’ back!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Lol..sorry. One last thing…departments also get to pay overtime to officers working these drug cases which tax payers gladly pay. PS I’m not pro drug either, as you are well aware…I’m anti bullshit.

          • Why outsource when you can do it on the cheap right here at home?

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Wow, it would be interesting to follow the money trail and tentacles from and too the “Pride Corporation”…and how the hell does one company win that “bid”…lol!

          • Herr Schmitty

            Easy; lobbying! Rick Scott and Marco Rubio are two of the biggest recipients of private-prison lobbying money in the country, and both are from FL. It’s no small wonder FL has built 4 new private prisons in the last few years while closing 11 government-run prisons (I was at one of the government camps when it was closed in 2012, New River CI) http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/04/28/how-for-profit-prisons-have-become-the-biggest-lobby-no-one-is-talking-about/

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Wow, that’s crazy. Who are these private companies that run the prisons? Is it like a Cheney/Halliburton scenario?

          • Herr Schmitty

            This seems to be the big company in FLA. http://www.mtctrains.com/

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            WOW…great article. As usual the deceit is wrapped in a flag: RECLAIM AMERICA. Geeez! And this: ” Nearly two-thirdsof private prison contracts mandate that state and local governments maintain a certain occupancy rate – usually 90 percent – or require taxpayers to pay for empty beds. In Arizona, three private prisons are operating with a 100 percent occupancy guarantee, according to Mother Jones. There’s even a lockup quota at the federal level” WOW!

          • Herr Schmitty

            And that’s the most important part; how fucking scary is that shit?!?! Quotas to fill the prison or taxpayers have to pay the prisons for every empty bed. God dammit. That’s the shit that makes me most angry; I wonder if I would have been railroaded for something I didn’t do if there weren’t beds to fill in the system quite sincerely.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            FUCK that’s some scary ass shit: QUOTAS tied to money.

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            Inmates should work for free, as penance. I’m paying for them to be fed and clothed, entertained.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Shiiiiiiit, entertained by what? We could watch TV on antenna with local TVs, we didn’t get any cable. All the TVs were donated, never purchased. We grew the food on the farm ourselves; I worked on the farm in Raiford for a while. Others made the clothes we wore at the garment factory. Your tax dollars mostly go to staff salaries and training, not to mention state prison vehicles, buses, gas, guns, riot gear, etc. The average cost to tax dollars, per inmate, was something like $44k/year where I was… and none of that shit was being spent on us.

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            So, you had a TV? You had food? My tax dollars pay for the land, the prison walls, the guards, the cars they drive, the lights, the fences. @44k per year x how many inmates in federal/state prisons. Yes, we foot that bill. Dont get me wrong, i’m not saying that all these people should be in prison.

          • Herr Schmitty

            We had TV; food, not so much. And hey; my tax dollars too!

            I’m of the mind that we should pay more per inmate and not hold people in 3rd-world slavery conditions myself, because guess how that person is going to behave when their sentence is up? Like a tiger that just got freed from the zoo; violent and angry. I’ve got a good life after my stay, and I’m still fuckin’ hostile about it. Recidivism in the US prison system is the very highest in the world, in part because our prison system is overly punitive, creates/causes lifelong stress responses and PTSD and generally strips people of their social instincts by placing them in what is basically a zoo. https://www.salve.edu/sites/default/files/filesfield/documents/Incarceration_and_Recidivism.pdf

            As for who should be in there… maybe 10% of the current population deserves to be where they are. Maybe. Most folks in there are minor offenders whose crimes are vastly over-punished, though. Maybe another 10% belong in mental health facilities, but were incarcerated because we no longer have enough appropriate mental health facilities.

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            I’m not arguing the causation of sentencing or imprisonment. Like I said, I dont think all the people in prison should be there.

            As for quality of life for prisoners in 1st world countries (especially the US), I suggest looking at prisons in 2nd or 3rd world countries. Prisoners in the US are pampered compared to that. And, yes, maybe it should be that way. I dont know.

            What I care about is my money. Half my family is in and out of prison. I dont want to pay for their stay any more than someone I don’t know.

            There will never be an “appropriate” mental health facility in the US (my family and my old lady’s both have mentally ill and disabled members).

            tl;dr: we’re fucked.

          • Do you have any links for that? A conservative friend of mine said it was close to around a million to imprison someone for a year.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Nah, he grossly overestimates that cost. VERA offers a table here; while I actually was off by quite a bit re: the cost in Florida (which is just over $20k per year) there are a number of states that cost more than $50k per year per inmate.

            http://www.vera.org/sites/default/files/resources/downloads/price-of-prisons-updated-version-021914.pdf

          • Dagon

            Besides being totally pro-privatization on most issues I have to say the private prison system of the US had terrible results. TBH I say that based on fairly left-wing readings I had on the matter, but I can see how it went wrong.

            There’s also apparently a big racial bias in the incarcerated population, from the data I’ve seen.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Yeah. Particularly with drug crimes, based on national survey data, blacks and whites in the US use drugs at the exact same rate, whites are more likely to deal drugs than black people, and yet black people make up the vast majority of people arrested for buying or using drugs… because racist ass police and prosecutors will let white criminals go or drop/reduce their charges while just fucking black folks over. Especially in Florida 😉

          • The W.

            I honestly wouldn’t have guessed white folks distributed more, but thinking about more “white collar” drugs, it makes sense.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Actually I think that’s even true for just marijuana; if you go to Florida, there are 1,800,000 grody dreadlocked white kids on every street dying to sell you an eighth.

          • The W.

            Interesting. I would have guessed not white simply from the sort of demographics that tend to get trapped in low income areas.

          • Herr Schmitty

            There’s the reason; to be a drug dealer, you need startup capital, just like any small business. You’re not going to be much of a drug dealer if you can only buy $150 of product at a time.

            If you can buy $4k worth at a time, though, now you’re talking about getting cheap/discount product for buying in bulk and larger profit margins.

          • The W.

            That makes a lot of sense. I don’t know much about the drug industry, tbh.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Aye. Aside from spending almost 2 years hanging out with all of Florida’s drug dealers in the clink, I may or may not have moved a bit of weed myself some 10 years ago or so. I was incredibly small time and never made any money off it; I was the $150 guy above. Pretty much just did it so I could buy in larger quantities for cheaper, then sell off the excess to make a little $ back so I could smoke for free (or at least on the cheap).

            On the other hand, a close relative was (and no longer is) someone who made a substantial amount of money (like $60k/year as a 17 year old!) doing it. So I’ve seen it from a lot of different perspectives.

          • A street kid gets arrested, gonna do some time. He got out three years from now just to commit more crime. A businessman is caught with 24 kilos. He’s out on bail and out of jail And that’s the way it goes.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtwT492YDvg

          • Herr Schmitty

            Well played!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            BOOM!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            That’s the perfect song for the moment.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            The most blatant example of the endemic racism was the crack cocaine sentencing ratios vs cocaine. I believe it was 100 to one. In other words you could possess 100 times more powder than crack for the same sentence. After 30 plus years of mandatory minimum sentencing stuffing the prisons with minority users its now 18:1.

          • Herr Schmitty

            Yup, I’m familiar with that one too; fucking brutal. Hell, Harry Anslinger (one of the original drug czars that came up with the concept of a ‘war on drugs’ in the ’30s) explicitly designed it as a way to help keep the negro in check and used scare tactics to convince white people the war was in their best interest. Not surprisingly, one of his major appeals was ‘good white women are fucking those damn negroes because weed.’

            http://www.azquotes.com/picture-quotes/quote-there-are-100-000-total-marijuana-smokers-in-the-us-and-most-are-negroes-hispanics-filipinos-harry-j-anslinger-66-63-90.jpg

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Classic YES! This scam has been going on for ages. And lets not forget its such a great way to get elected: “I’m tough on crime” “Reclaim america”

          • Óðinn
          • Herr Schmitty

            Dead fucking on. Yup; ‘a holocaust in slow motion’ is a pretty apt description, and now I need to go watch this documentary.

          • Óðinn

            This is interesting too.

            http://newjimcrow.com/

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            its killer….

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            great doc man!

          • Accidentally conjured Beelzebub the other day while listening to Thelonious. My bad . . .

          • KJM

            They were worried that wholesome white people(stop laughing!) would start listening to Jazz.

          • HessianHunter

            This is obviously shocking and horrible, but I can’t help but laugh that he lumps “entertainers” in as undesirable characters just like brown people. Dude must have had a SHITTY sense of humor. Or his wife left him for a guitarist?

          • HessianHunter

            I am against privitization in areas where there is an economic interest in doing things that are inarguably bad. For instance, locking people in prison as much as possible to keep profits high, or looking for any excuse to deny people healthcare insurance, which was legal in the U.S. until the Affordable Care Act passed. The prisons have very powerful lobbies that encourage our draconic marijuana laws, for instance, which keeps the prison population high, even though virtually all research shows American prison doesn’t reform prisoners of drug habits.

          • Dagon

            The most terrible thing is when there is a ton of political power and a wide profit margins to be had; both groups tend to stick together and lobby the fuck out of everyone. Big business and big government are the worst when they work in tandem, which is what usually ends up happening in highly regulated yet privatized areas – like the prison system.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Can u say war on drugs, mandatory minimum sentencing, and feed the prison industry?

          • KJM

            I’m equally frightened by both anarchy and corporate privatization.

        • KJM

          Privatized courts? brb gonna die now

          http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4778232/vhs2-o.gif

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            As if the court was immune to the same private intrigue as the house/senate/whitehouse.

            If this is the solution, perhaps we should have done it long ago

          • KJM

            The current system/gov’t doesn’t work because of citizen apathy. Go watch Rollerball or Soylent Green again. That’s how shit would go down if you got rid of gov’t and handed it all over to the private sector.

          • OldMetalHead

            Good movies!

          • KJM

            Oh, I love them as well as Silent Running (can’t watch that one anymore because it’s just too much), but I view them as cautionary tales while it seems some view them as instructional “how-to” videos.

          • For real. All the reactionaries look to 1984 when they think of a dystopian future.

  • JW(E)G

    These don’t speak to me quite yet.
    Think I could commission him to do ones for the Canadian federal party leaders?

  • All I got out of this was “Slap Rand Paul”.

    • Herr Schmitty

      I mean, that’s topical advice regardless of situation.

      • He would cry.

        • Herr Schmitty

          *be hospitalized.

          • God

            *die

          • Dagon

            And then go to heaven to be by your side.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            *sue

        • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

          *condemn the government’s involvement

    • Guppusmaximus

      He’s got a face only a fist could love! #loveisafist

    • KJM

      co-signed

    • Isn’t that the guy who yelled at black people for causing criminal behavior because they don’t have fathers or whatever right after his own son got arrested for the third time?

      • KJM

        Yeah, that’s him.

  • Guppusmaximus

    Christ…do people still think this system works?!

    • God

      Nope, but it’s ours!

      *american eagle caws in the distance majestically*

      But seriously the whole system is a joke.

      • Guppusmaximus

        *right before it is shot down*
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        LOL

    • Stupid people do, that’s why they keep doing it.

      • Guppusmaximus

        Yea, I hate to be Captain Obvious on this but it gets rather tiresome year after year. All these fuckers talk a big game till they are elected writes out a fucking check. *ugh*

        • This is precisely why I want to be a politician. Seems like a good way to make a buck.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yup… that’s why they line up year after year.

  • Óðinn

    The Mike Huckabee design is pretty cool. I’d never vote for the guy though. He’s about as stupid and backward as a human being can be. President Bush let “god” tell him what to do and he was disaster. Huckabee is even more of bible thumper.

    • The W.

      MORE LIBEL!

      • Óðinn

        Sorry W.

        • The W.

          It is known.

    • Guppusmaximus

      The sad thing is the majority of the American populace expects a candidate to subscribe to that shit in order to get elected even though it is unconstitutional!!!! *AAGGGGHHHH* #fuckingsheep

      • Óðinn

        That’s true. Huckabee is a true believer though. I’m sure many politicians fake it to get elected.

        • Guppusmaximus

          Agreed. He’s said some real stupid shit to prove that. What a putz:)

  • So…

    Where’s Hugo Chávez or Nicolás Maduro black merol logo?

  • Óðinn

    Sadly, the United States is a functional Oligarchy right now. We need to remove private money from the political system is we want to get back our Democracy.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10769041/The-US-is-an-oligarchy-study-concludes.html

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    BAMA 3 PEAT!

  • Vegglampe

    There should only be one clear winner in the 2016 election: Mr Vermin Supreme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcSw2PJD1zU

  • DOYOUREALLYBEARD, THO?

    This is dope as fuck
    Rand Paul for president, Fool.
    Actually, no.

    • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

      In the wake of a (maybe) impending review, I will say this: patching ESO has become crazy. That’s two 15.8GB patches in the last week. @22mb/s down, with server load, and local traffic, its getting kinda cray.

  • Max

    Why isn’t there an Elizabeth Warren one, done with the Bathory font? (They could call her Erzebet or whatever.)

    The Hillary Clinton one is actually quite cool, it’s one of the few that doesn’t look like a variation on Darkthrone.

    For some reason, whenever I read the name “Ted Cruz” I always think of Santa Cruz the skateboard company. Any of you kids wanna Photoshop that one up for me?

    • The W.

      I could totally see the Elizabeth one.

  • pïgchop™

    The image at the top of this article made me think of a majestic moose. And then I thought of this dumbass who decided it would be fun to ride the moose. Unfortunately the moose did not fuck him up.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl4kJ9TGhJA

    • Óðinn

      Fuck these guys.

  • KJM

    Either Bernie or my usual favorite None Of The Above.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Rush.

      • KJM

        Instead of ‘Hail To The Chief’, you’d hear this.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XahsMD0INEk

        • Herr Schmitty

          Oh damn, Geddy sounds pretty damned good!

          • KJM

            I’m still awestruck by how good it was, mostly because of songs I thought they would never play again.

    • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

      Just write-in “Blackbeard.” I will serve our interests. Bernie is too far left for me.

      • KJM

        I’m good with that.

    • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

      I don’t vote. Never have, never will (unless Link runs for president).

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxsQ7jJJcEA

      • KJM

        One of the few times I disagree with him. Even if it’s just pantomime, if you don’t vote you’re ceding the contest to those that do and guaranteeing the worst possible outcome.

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

          I don’t have faith in either party, and our third party options are an embarrassment. If I do elect someone, and they fuck things up (which is inevitable nowadays), I’d have an eternal pang of guilt knowing that I put them there in the first place.

          • KJM

            I can honestly say that, at least on the state level, getting involved has helped me and my family. My disabled mother’s tv croaked last week. Our state senator showed up the next day with a tv for her. I can cite other examples.

          • more beer

            I`ll bet you would vote if they put legalization on the ballot in Virginia.

          • KJM

            As we’ve noted before, citizen ballot initiatives can get a lot done, even in a compromised gov’t.

          • more beer

            Even get KJU off his ass and vote. It is the only way to get things done. If we just wait around for the politicians to fix things. Nothing will ever change.

          • KJM

            And maybe, just maybe, you’ll occasionally end up with1-2 politicians that will actually do their job, usually happens at the state level.

          • more beer

            Yea because it certainly doesn`t happen at the federal level. By that time they are just looking for their lobbyist jobs after we vote them out.

        • Lacertilian

          Same, this is one of the only Carlin pieces where I can appreciate the humour but disagree.

      • HessianHunter

        This is one of the few things he was completely wrong about. It’s specious to think if you don’t vote for ANYONE, you’re absolved of responsibility for who is elected. A vote for no one is an effective vote for the 2-party system.

        Even if you can’t stomach any major presidential candidates, vote for a minor party you dig, and vote on the local shit. Even though it’s not as sexy to vote for a judge in Discrict 6 or whatever, having people in your local government that believe the things you do will make changes in your community that you like.

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

          Link For President!

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII
        • KJM

          Senators and Presidents come and go, but judges are there for life most of the time, especially if they’re appointed.

        • Lacertilian

          Exactly, even though voting is compulsory here, people who don’t want to make a decision just donkey vote or write something ‘witty’ on the form which is essentially a non-vote.
          The two major parties receive funds for each vote obtained. They want those votes that go to the minor parties, if all the people who ‘didn’t care’ just picked a minor party which had some policy they appreciated, the big parties would gradually begin to miss those votes (read: $) and at least feign interest in getting them back.

      • I know who to blame next time a Republican candidate gets elected.

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

          Weird thing, and I’m not liberal or conservative. I lived in Hyde Park for 8 years, which is Obama’s area. Literally across the street is a monument where he and Michelle met (53rd and Dorcherester). Now, he said he said he was a ‘community organizer’ there.

          (1). I know virtually everyone who’s lived in Hyde Park, and no one I’ve ever talked to has ever seen or talked to him.
          (2). My best friend’s mom has worked for UOC for 25 years, and never even heard of him until his presidency.
          (3). Take a good, hard look at Hyde Park since 2008.

          Before the Fox News and GOP hands and knees cocksuckers get their dicks limp and wet, take a look at how Obama shit on south side Chicago, from someone who’s been there. You couldn’t do better.

          PS, here’s my old place. *drops mic*

          http://s3-media1.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/iEFxe0gfNNdT2VbAFFKy9w/o.jpg

          • I’m not quite sure what you’re getting at.

          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

            Read it again. Obama was never a part of Hyde Park, where he claimed he was a ‘community organizer’. This is coming from someone who lived there.

          • Right, I got that.

          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

            Either way, I don’t vote.

  • KJM

    Oh, and I would consider never leaving my house again if we had a privatized court system in The US. The tobacco and liquor companies would make damn sure simple pot possession was a hanging offense.

    • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

      Ironically, I’ve seen booze “infused” with weed. Any many other tobacco “vapor” products made to be flavored like weed. These companies are all owned by the major (no longer American) beer/tobacco companies.

      • KJM

        Color me shocked, shocked I tell ye!

      • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

        Aka, if you’ve ever had Jack Daniels bongwater and felt like paying outrageous prices for that swill.

    • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

      It’s more or less legal in Chicago. 16 grams or less only gets you a ticket up to $250, and if you live on the south side like I did, cops couldn’t care less. I can’t name one person who ever got in trouble for it over there, and we smoked everywhere possible over there, often with cops rolling on by.
      I was drinking with 3 of my friends out on the lake front years back, and one of my friends (who was obviously drunker than Hemmingway on payday) decided to go swimming naked out in Lake Michigan. Cops obviously saw that, and several open beers around us. They patted down my one friend, found a dimebag and gave it back to him, all while writing tickets for open containers in public (and for some reason not writing us up for being in the park after hours). We went back to my place, drank the beers, smoked up, and I was the only one who bothered to show up for community service. South side cops of all people have bigger things to worry about than weed, which almost everyone does or sells in Hyde Park.

      • KJM

        28 gms or less gets you a $100 ticket(max) in Massachusetts, and Somerville(where I live) doesn’t even issue citations, and you have to be starting serious trouble for it to even be an issue in the first place.

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

          Same with the south side. You have to be slapping a cop in the face with a dub sack or hotboxing a cop car to get busted over there. Or just being a dick and they feel like being a dick because you were being a dick.
          I miss climbing up on the rooftop with my friends and smoking up back in the day. Awwwwwwwwww the halcyon days of weed smoking and pervasive drinking back in the day!

      • Lacertilian

        Any form of persecution for possession is in no way ‘more or less legal’.

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

          Matter of degree, mate. What’s getting busted with weed like over there?

  • KJM

    Tyrion sez “Get out there and ROCK, motherfucker!!!”

    • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

      I’ve FINALLY made it to episode 5 last night, after binging out on GOT. Loving it!

      • KJM

        Do you mean season 5?

        • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

          Nope. Season 1, episode 5.

          • KJM

            Ah, ok.

          • KJM

            I hope you have a few spare tvs. Some of them may fall victim to anger.

          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

            TVS?

          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

            Oooooooooooooh, gotcha! :-p

  • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

    Here’s what my beloved hometown just re-elected. I’m going to guess the election was rigged or that I’m from a city of blithering morons. I’m going with the prior!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrpURHpPmtw

    *photo chop in progress*

    • KJM

      Stuff like this happens when disgusted, frustrated voters stay home and people/companies with vested interests mobilize in favor of d-bags like Rahm.

      • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

        Nope. It’s Chicago politics. A mayor that gets elected tends to stay in there until they die or give it up (like Daley did). It’s notoriously coroupt. Love my city, but Rahm is easily the worst mayor we’ve ever had, and learned how to rig the game pretty quick. And here we are: high tax rates in the nation, highest transit rates in the nation ($11.75 for a one day pass), highest gas prices, most murders (not highest per capita, mind you), most gangs, and the biggest school closures in American history under his watch.

        Love my city, but he’s a fucking embarrassment to the city, especially considering that even I spent more time actually living there than he did.

        • KJM

          Massachusetts politics are the exact same. That’s why having Mitt Freakin’ Romney as Governor meant nothing. That’s why it doesn’t really matter if our Governor is Democrat or GOP. All the power is in The Congress and always will be.

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            Burn down the churches. Burn down the state houses. Burn down the white house.

          • KJM

            I’d rather burn this bowl full of sour diesel.

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            We are out. Might have something to do with my mood.

          • KJM

            This is why we need replication technology.
            “Please supply a molecular structure.”

          • DOYOURLYBEARD, THO?

            “Computer,10 grams of the finest.”

          • more beer

            We kind of have that they are called clones.

          • KJM

            I’m talking about sci-fi Star Trek silliness, definitely not anything based in reality.

          • more beer

            I was just playing around with you anyway.

          • KJM

            ^_^

          • Lacertilian

            Want.
            Just gimme some Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen & Hydrogen atoms and I could make practically everything I would like.

          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

            I submitted the interview to TOH for She Past Away, and some of it involves politics in Turkey. I dare say it’s one of the most interesting invterviews I’ve ever done, from one of the most interesting and unique bands ever.

          • KJM

            I’ll read it.
            I hear about life in Iran from a friend I have there who is trying very hard to get out. She wants to move to The US, but I’m sure she’ll settle for anywhere that isn’t a Theocracy.

          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII
          • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

            One of my FB friends, aka The Cookie Monster, is from Tunisia, where the uprisings began.

          • KJM

            I can now see the necessity for that insane sense of humor.

          • DCLXVI

            co-signed, even here, way out west off the Pike exits 2 and 1 the voter disenchantment is preventing them from making change happen.

  • Beefhammer McPubies XIVIII

    ….

  • KJM

    However, I will say this. I have far more confidence in the private sector as far as space travel and exploration goes than I do in gov’t. That is a very good example of how the general public will benefit from private sector work.

    • Lacertilian

      They’ll just do obnoxious-dick stuff like joy flights for the rich though.
      I can’t see them fulfilling any sort of coordinated scientific agenda, maybe my pessimism is too strong, I dunno.

  • Óðinn
    • KJM

      If nothing else, denying Hillary Clinton the Presidency a 2nd time would be too much awesome for one lifetime.

  • KJM

    Hurray for the lossless audio faeries!!