Who is the Biggest Weeaboo in Metal???

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Weeaboos. Weebs. Wapanese. Japanophiles. Otaku. These are just some of the names for the scourge of the internet wastes, the Westerner with an unhealthy obsession with Japanese culture, video games, and anime. You’ve likely encountered this menace on forums and social media, often using butchered Japanese words and creepy gifs of over sexualized cartoon children. Aside from a few exceptions, metal has been considered a safe refuge from the invading weeaboo hordes. But is it? Has this insidious menace been hiding in plain sight among your metal? Reader, the answer may shock you. Today we’re exposing four of the biggest weeaboos in metal.


Lauri Penttilä (Satanic Warmaster)

Lauri Penttilä otherwise known as “Werwolf”, his fursona, has spent decades at the forefront of black metal edgelordery with his long-running project Satanic Warmaster. Though he’s never outright declared Satanic Warmaster an NSBM band, he’s long skirted around the edges of it with anti-Semitic lyrics and by putting out split releases with pretty much every knuckledragging fuck hole in metal. If those charming activities weren’t embarrassing enough, it may shock you to learn that Lauri is also a giant weeaboo.

Though he’s cleaned up his social media presence in the last couple of years while doubling down on his image as a super tuff Satanist black metal man, he can’t hide all of his shameful secrets. Back in 2012 Lauri released “Chi No Namida”, covering Kenichi Matsubara’s composition from Castlevania: Dracula X. His Metal Archives photo (above) features him proudly displaying his video game closet. And then there’s this, the most damning proof of all:

Also this because it’s funny:


Frankie Palmeri (Emmure)

Let’s not mince words. Frankie Palmeri, vocalist of braindead chugcore band Emmure, is just a giant piece of shit. You could Google him and see any number of his shitlord opinions (my favorite is this recent interview with the Houston Press) or you could just take a look at his #HOTTAKE on Decapitated’s current situation:

How could a man so loathsome be any worse? Friend, I’m glad you asked. It’s a secret though, so don’t tell anyone. (Pssst: he’s a goddamn weeb).

In addition to his fandom of anime series Dragonball (see his Twitter avatar, likely his button down shirts in middle school), Frankie has a weird thing with video games, especially Japanese fighting game Street Fighter. No joke, he’s picked M. Bison as his otherkin. That’s extremely obsessive weeb behavior!


Trey Azagthoth (Morbid Angel)

Trey Azagthoth, the madman guitarist behind Morbid Angel, is a stand up dude. I bet you’re waiting for me to say something disparaging about Trey or his band. WELL TOO BAD, FUCKO. Trey legit rules. Look at this delightful quote from him:


That’s an attitude I can get behind! Unfortunately, his childlike appreciation for life has lead him to a dark valley. No, not industrial metal. I’m talking about anime. Take a look at Trey’s notes from Domination. In addition to thanking Earache and Morrisound, he includes a big shout out to “Ranma and papa panda-bear Saotome, Cutey Cat Shampoo (Hai-ah), Akane Tendo and the Tendos”, which all appear to be characters from a manga series called Ranma 1/2 about a teenage boy that transforms to a girl when splashed with cold water. I am told that hijinks ensue. While upsetting, I’m still gonna listen to Morbid Angel because the riffs are so good, bro! Dang. I think I finally understand the dorks that defend NSBM.

(Click to embiggen)


Marty Friedman (ex-Megadeth)

Marty Friedman, best known as one of the most skilled guitarists Megadeth ever had, is the most out and out proud weeaboo in the world of metal. After leaving Megadeth, he fulfilled every true weeb’s dream and moved to Japan where he has been a fixture in music and television ever since. That’s right. Marty Friedman is Ken-Sama.

Let’s take a deep breath and list just some of Friedman’s credits. He:
Played guitar on the theme to Bodacious Space Pirates anime.
Covered “Little Braver” from an anime called “Angel Beats!
Has collaborated with Animetal, a metal band that covers anime music.
You can check out additional credits on his MY ANIME LIST and Wikipedia pages. Suffice to say, my dude is a true weeb.


What do you think? Is there a bigger weeaboo hiding in plain sight? Who is the weebiest weeb to ever weeb? Vote now!

Who is the biggest weeb in metal???
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  • tigeraid

    6. Randall Thor.

  • tigeraid

    Friedman is, really, the original weeaboo.

    • GoatForest

      He has been doing it fow quite a while, yes.

  • Retchin’ Rites ov Karhu

    I know a particular Toileteer used to obsessively read Ranma 1/2 over and over again…

  • KJM, Blood Farmer

    Expose those weebs! Drag them kicking and screaming into the sunlight!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEGUOv68-s

  • The answer is Trey, but he cares not for your opinions of him, not while he’s able to stand in front of someone else’s Lambo anyway.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/825ccd7123901f8ca9e469501f5255fb505818b1b8188820ad3d51bd1e95593b.jpg

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Yup. His lines notes on the Heretic album are priceless. There’s an entire essay talking about meditation, reality perception, Deepak Chopra, his love of the Quake video game, Sailor Moon and he even mentions playing with Power Rangers toys

  • HessianHunter

    That Frankie Palmeri interview where he talks about being M Bison is batshit insane from top to bottom

    • Rolderathis

      That’s the rant that made me vote for him.

      • GoatForest

        Same here.

  • KJM, Blood Farmer

    SILENCE THE WEEB

  • ResonanceCascade

    “Here’s a life lesson for females” What is it with weebs and “females?” It’s like they want to make extra sure we all know that they don’t distinguish between girls and women.

    • tigeraid

      Have you seen (most) anime?

      • ResonanceCascade

        Thankfully, I have the most plebeian anime collection imaginable: Dragon Ball, Cowboy Bebop, and Studio Ghibli flicks. But yeah, I’ve noticed the thinly-if-at-all-veiled pedo culture that a lot of these dudes are into.

        • tigeraid

          Eh, I’m not even particularly bothered by “oh look the girls look young” (porn is the same way). It’s more just the complete objectification. But there’s also some good anime out there with realistic female characters. It sure is hard to dig through the dreck tho.

      • Maik Beninton™

        Oh God. Anime makes such awkward use of little girls (especially the harem ones) for comedic purposes that borders pedophilia.

        • GoatForest

          Borders?

      • Lone Biker…

        I have not. I always see the NO ANIME comments and just assumed that was not just for this here blog, but life in general.

        • rubber dinghy rapids bro

          Just think of this particular TovH thread as Anime Hamsterdam.

    • Rolderathis

      Calling women or girls “females” in this way seems to imply that they’re non-human animals. I can believe Frankie thinks like that, he does champion domestic abuse.

    • Nassim Taleb : refrain from virtue signaling

    • SomeGuyDude

      I mean, dude’s a shithead, but the advice was decent if you think about it. It’s basically saying to girls… no, don’t get in that van, they don’t want to be your friend, don’t let them sweet talk you into thinking it’ll be okay. If anything, his comment vilified Decapitated.

      • I’m not a huge fan of putting the impetus of not getting raped on a potential victim when it’s much easier for band dudes to just not sexually assault fans.

  • Hans

    It’s down to Frankie and Lauri for me. Gonna have to muse on this while looking at oversexualized cartoon children. With dicks.

  • I would hang with the Satanic Warmaster guy, but he would try to stab me because it’s a nazi thingy, right? Discarded, even when he’s more a video game junkie than an anime critter.

    Mnnn, the Emmure guy is lame. Pass.

    I really think Joe’s NSBM stance about Trey can save him on the poll. Pass.

    Marty Friedman is exploiting weebs and gaining dollars. He’s good and he also made a couple of records I really like.

    My vote, the Hero We Don’t Deserve, Kairo Seijuro:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYfUvW_3C3U

    • Retchin’ Rites ov Karhu

      I don’t think Penttilä would try to stab you because of the nazi thing (since he’s recently gone to lengths about it being for the aake of extremity and “evil”)
      I think he’d stab you because fuck you that’s why. Or possibly because the whole being arsewipe thing, either or

  • GoatForest

    Is enjoying anime and Japanese vidya games really all it takes to be a weeb? I always thought it was those creeps with weird obsessive traits like Palmeri. Huh, I guess you learn something new everyday…

    • Dubby Fresh

      It’s impossible to enjoy anime and not be obsessive and creepy.

      • GoatForest

        Awww. C’mon now. Cowboy Bebop was cool.

        • Dubby Fresh
          • GoatForest

            Oh…god… [begins vomiting uncontrollably]

          • Dubby Fresh
          • GoatForest

            Brutal. Who is this guy?

          • Dubby Fresh

            Hayao Miyazaki. The man behind Studio Ghibli.

          • GoatForest

            Well, there ya go.

          • Dubby Fresh

            The quotes are made up, but he actually has a lot of disdain for otakus and anime. He really said this:

            You see, whether you can draw like this or not, being able to think up this kind of design, it depends on whether or not you can say to yourself, ‘Oh, yeah, girls like this exist in real life. If you don’t spend time watching real people, you can’t do this, because you’ve never seen it. Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves. Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know. It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!.

          • GoatForest

            I can see that.

          • I agree with him 100%

          • GoatForest

            Oh yeah, I think that a large chunk of anime seems to be wish fulfilment for shut in misogynists.

          • GrumpDumpus

            I BELIEVE THE CORE ISSUE HERE IS TRUE FOR WESTERN ENTERTAINMENT TOO IT’S JUST NOT OBVIOUS BECAUSE IT’S NOT ANIMATED

        • Rolderathis

          There’s this really annoying part of a lot of anime where characters will stare, open-mouthed in awe, and make little grunting noises like “UH…..UH.” I swear it takes up like 1/5 of an episode sometimes.

      • I’m not that obsessive and creepy

    • it’s all fvcking heresy

      The term has kind of lost it’s meaning over the years as the word changed from wapanese to weeaboo. Basically just don’t denounce your heritage and declare Japan the greatest country on earth while chugging Ramune and holding your new waifu body pillow.

    • ResonanceCascade

      Some anime and Japanese video games are going to be part of pretty much any well-rounded media collection. I’m not going to pretend like none of that shit is good just because the fandom is gross and embarrassing.

      Hey, kind of like metal.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    I actually like Emmure and I met Frankie at Warped. He’s actually very nice.

  • HessianHunter

    Because “anime” is literally anything animated in Japan, saying you’re “into anime” is the equivalent of being into “German guitar music”. Like if you were equally into Rammstein and Can and talked about them like they were part of the same genre of music or related in any way.

    • Retchin’ Rites ov Karhu

      Like westerners care.

    • GrumpDumpus

      NUANCE IS UN-AMERICAN QUIT TRAMPLING ON LIBERTY

  • Howard Dean

    I’d eat barbecued ribs and pulled pork with Rawhide Kobayashi.

    • Dubby Fresh

      Same

    • Óðinn

      I could go for some ribs.

      • GoatForest

        Always go for ribs. By the way, Ever had Texas Roadhouse ribs? They’re pretty damn good, especially for a chain restaurant.

    • GoatForest

      I can’t eat most Japanese food. I get extremely ill. Like, “you’re gonna have to remodel the bathroom” ill.

      • Howard Dean

        Man, that sucks. I dig a lot of Japanese and Korean cuisine.

        • KJM, Blood Farmer

          As do I.

        • GoatForest

          The worst part is that it is my wife’s favorite cuisine.

      • I had raw horse (basashi) when I was there earlier in the summer. Also, raw beef, raw egg, fried whale, and grilled chicken fat. good times

        • GoatForest

          Woof.

        • GoatForest

          Those are some horrifying dishes. Keep in mind that I’m down for frog legs and fried squirrel.

    • Pierre Generic

      I’m sure Terry and Dory Jr would hire him to be a wrangler for the ranch.

    • Óðinn
  • jberd

    How’s it not these guys? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPIPy8sqvHU

    or like the guy from Wintersun?

  • rubber dinghy rapids bro
    • GrumpDumpus

      IF DEADLIFT LOLITA DID A SPLIT WITH ANDREW WK WE WOULD ALL SMILE UNTIL WE DIED

  • Óðinn

    I dunno. That band Loudness seems like they are really into the whole Japanese thing. Just sayin. 😉

  • Pope Richard of Blackened Death Records should win, he sells this shirt:
    https://blackeneddeath.bandcamp.com/merch/true-black-metal-weeaboo-trash-shirt

  • I am pretty sure this article demands me to post anime gifs

  • Mosh Hoff

    Reading RAWHIDE KOBAYASHI’s profile gives you the perspective of how weebs look like to actual Japanese people.

  • DOWNVOTED.

    GL

    • I do not feel comfortable voting for any one of these males.

  • rubber dinghy rapids bro

    I’ve seen one Proper Anime film ever, which was ‘Legend of the Overfiend’. As vile as it was, it doesn’t compare to this British ‘Anime’ abomination, which features Dani Filth and Doug fucking Bradley…
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GG5GDY2E58k#

  • holy heqq, dat reverse Weeaboo killed me!

  • Óðinn

    The dudes name is Laurie and he’s a “Satanic Warmaster”. Overcompensate much? 😉

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    I’m hoping for Frankie, so that if he catches wind of it we can hopefully get some of his hilarious bullshit aimed directly at us. Even better if he teamed up with DMU.

  • KJM, Blood Farmer

    Space Battleship Yamato or gtfo.

  • Max

    I’ve always hated Japanese animation, unfortunately. Astro Boy scarred me for life. It was even sappier than He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    Jon Chang from Discordance Axis belongs in this list. Did you all not see my submission to last Saturday’s RotW?

    • Mosh Hoff

      You mean other than the fact that he’s actually of Asian origin?

  • Choo-Choo

    I voted for Marty because nobody else got a handy list.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    B A B Y M E T A L

  • Mosh Hoff

    Not really metal, but it doesn’t get any better than a French Hardcore band singing about anime in a very thick European accent.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTVgUrRNM7E

  • Well…semi-hiatus or not, it’s no secret that I’m the loathsome fuck that some call “Sar Nath”, as well as a temporarily stagnating metal journalist, myself. Given that – as well as my incessant cavorting and browsing (even being an interview-ee at one blissful time) lovely havens like this here publication – one could say I’m “…in metal”. And Sar Nath loves him some Enter The Dragon, Inuyasha, and sushi. But I wouldn’t call a small handful of things fuel for a title like “weeaboo”. But it’s not just a few things for my favorite ‘boo of all; ol’ Azagthoth. I’d call him that particular stinky-sweet title, Godz luv him. But nonetheless, I voted Friedman. I can remember as far back as my late adolescence/early teens designating his “Scenes” album as my go-to bedtime CD, knowing full well that the exotic strains stemmed from what would become an arguably unhealthy obsession with all things Japan and related. However…to include a wannabe-jock, chugcore, malldog (I’d say “mallrat”, but that would do Kevin Smith and his movie of the same name a huge disservice) excuse for a band like Emmure anywhere near the words “in metal” is really an uncomfortable thing for me to see…let alone say. So I won’t. Having said all that…I tried to think of others, and I’m sure there lies a bevy of weebs somewhere in my mind’s internal file cabinets…but I haven’t cared enough about the habits of anyone outside the entertainment they produce in a long while. So, yeah. Fave is Trey, true Weeb King is Marty.