Wednesday 13 – Blood Sick: A Video Breakdown

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Get up, come on get down with the blood sickness.

Wednesday 13 is an interesting fellow in that he’s managed to be in a ton of bands in a relatively short amount of time. Some have found a decent amount of success such as his namesake band and the Murderdolls who at one point included Joey Jordinson and *ahem* Tripp Eisen. Beyond those bands, Wednesday 13 was also in Frankenstein Drag Queens From Outer Space, Gunfire 76, Bourbon Crow, Psycho Opera and Maniac Trash Spider. No, I didn’t make any of those up and no I am not having a stroke.

Though the bands may have changed, his “trash goth/horror punk” aesthetic has essentially remained the same. Dirty and grimy like a Halloween Superstore on November 1st, Wednesday 13 has returned with a new album. And what comes with new albums? New music videos. Grab your rubber spiders and plastic pitchforks, it’s Video Breakdown time!

0:02: It’s like a Hot Topic from 2003 projectile vomited on the screen.
0:05: A Stridex pad will clear that right up.
0:13: Foreshadowing?
0:19: Oh no! It’s Overacting!
0:24: Did the director just go, “Act like someone is trying to give you a copy of Dianetics?”
0:28: I’ve heard of the “third eye” but this just looks like a “second gaping butthole”.
0:31: “I’m gunna lick you like an ice cream cone, boy!”
0:40: This new Spider-Man theme is weird.
0:46: The digital snowflakes really make the digital spider webs look less ridiculous.
0:53: If the band had any more red and black, they’d be a gaming setup.
1:02: The guitarist is single-handedly keeping henna tattoo artists in business.
1:08: No! Not the computerized smoke! Noooooooo!
1:15: Has anyone ever seen Wednesday 13 and Mortiis in the same place at the same time?
1:21: I feel like they have a Batman/Bruce Wayne thing going on.
1:29: We’re never going to see a spider in this video, are we?
1:37: I mean, the spider webs imply spiders, so I kind of feel ripped off.
1:44: Judging from the circle on his forehead, Wednesday 13 might have been bitten by a tick. That’s…something.
1:52: Does being “blood sick” count as a pre-existing condition?
1:55: I wanted a spider and they gave me…this.
1:58: This is so, so, sooooooooo much better than a spider.
2:02: And by “better” I mean “hahahahahahaha holy shit, what were they thinking?”
2:07: “Snausages?!”
2:15: This is like the “Blue shell” of music video scenes.
2:24: Someone must have been huffing too much computerized smoke when they came up with this.
2:35: So “blood sick” means “tripping balls on acid” right?
2:40: Her reaction would be much more genuine if she actually saw that masked contortionist thing.
2:51: Now I’m curious about that contortionist. If that his day job? Did Wednesday 13 find them in a sideshow?
2:57: Did it spin those webs itself?
3:03: Did it do this terrible editing job?
3:12: Is it related to the bad guy in The Poughkeepsie Tapes?
3:17: What’s Wednesday 13 like in real life?
3:20: I guess we’ll never know.

Wednesday 13’s new album Condolences is out on June 2nd via Nuclear Blast Records.

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  • Wet W’s Whistle
    • Sir Ukkometso The Based

      Does JJD appear in those tapes?

      • Wet W’s Whistle

        Yes.

        • Sir Ukkometso The Based

          Ooooh, exicitng. I hope Mr. In Your House 4 did the soundtrack for it.

          • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

            We’re gonna realize one day that all the albums from MIYH4 were recorded as he tortured and killed his victims.

          • Howard Dean

            Legit ~50% chance JJD is a serial killer (or will become one).

          • I know you are just making a joke, but I am not sure it is all that cool of one. Just my 2 cents.

          • Howard Dean

            CLARIFICATION FOR GL AND OTHERS WHO FEEL SIMILARLY:

            I, an anonymous shitposter who has adopted the absurd faux persona of former Presidential Candidate Howard Dean, made a joke about another anonymous poster who has adopted the persona of professional wrestlers Jim Duggan, Kevin Nash, and Sid Vicious at various times. The joke implied that said wrestling-fond persona was or will become a serial killer. This joke was a joke in the actual sense of the word, and was not made in an ironic or meta fashion. It was a joke, so please don’t believe that faux Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash/Jim Duggan is a serial killer, because to the best of my faux politician knowledge faux Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash/Jim Duggan is NOT a serial killer. Fin.

            Signed,

            Anonymous shitposter with Howard Dean persona gimmick

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            Oh shit man, you’re not actually Howard Dean, the 79th Governor of Vermont?

          • I understand you mean no harm. Regardless, I wanted to let you know what I thought.

          • Howard Dean came in with the whole “nobody should be offended by what i said” trick!

          • KJM, Drug Honkey

            We give him shit because we love him. He’ll be just fine.

          • more beer

            Please Howard Dean, a Catholic would never do that.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            How did you know I kill cereal? I’ve murdered so many boxes of Reese’s Puff and Cap’n Crunch.

          • KJM, Drug Honkey

            Peanut Butter Crunch and Count Chocula are still the best junk food cereals.

          • Howard Dean

            If you substitute those with Frosted Mini Wheats and Chocolatey Delight Special K, I’m a cereal killer, too.

    • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

      Don’t blink

  • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

    Hi, I am an 18 (gonna be 19) year old goth and I just kind of wanted some advice. First, I am plus size and I work at a job that pays $375-$418 bi-weekly and all the gothic clothing that I am wanting from famous sites (such as corsets and whatnot) do not come in my size and are not on my budget, plus I have been having some trouble losing weight. How would I be able to get this to work?

    – Gigi Hirokashi, 1 year ago

    • more beer

      The answer to your problems is methamphetamine. You can use it for weight loss, you can also sell it to make side money.

  • Waynecro

    Awesome work, 365. Many of these comments made me chuckle. Also, Mortiis and Wednesday 13 have never appeared together because Mortiis doesn’t want to hurt his reputation by being seen with such a dork.

  • Maaan. This is like a budget modern Cradle of Filth!