Wednesday 13 – Blood Sick: A Video Breakdown

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Get up, come on get down with the blood sickness.

Wednesday 13 is an interesting fellow in that he’s managed to be in a ton of bands in a relatively short amount of time. Some have found a decent amount of success such as his namesake band and the Murderdolls who at one point included Joey Jordinson and *ahem* Tripp Eisen. Beyond those bands, Wednesday 13 was also in Frankenstein Drag Queens From Outer Space, Gunfire 76, Bourbon Crow, Psycho Opera and Maniac Trash Spider. No, I didn’t make any of those up and no I am not having a stroke.

Though the bands may have changed, his “trash goth/horror punk” aesthetic has essentially remained the same. Dirty and grimy like a Halloween Superstore on November 1st, Wednesday 13 has returned with a new album. And what comes with new albums? New music videos. Grab your rubber spiders and plastic pitchforks, it’s Video Breakdown time!

0:02: It’s like a Hot Topic from 2003 projectile vomited on the screen.
0:05: A Stridex pad will clear that right up.
0:13: Foreshadowing?
0:19: Oh no! It’s Overacting!
0:24: Did the director just go, “Act like someone is trying to give you a copy of Dianetics?”
0:28: I’ve heard of the “third eye” but this just looks like a “second gaping butthole”.
0:31: “I’m gunna lick you like an ice cream cone, boy!”
0:40: This new Spider-Man theme is weird.
0:46: The digital snowflakes really make the digital spider webs look less ridiculous.
0:53: If the band had any more red and black, they’d be a gaming setup.
1:02: The guitarist is single-handedly keeping henna tattoo artists in business.
1:08: No! Not the computerized smoke! Noooooooo!
1:15: Has anyone ever seen Wednesday 13 and Mortiis in the same place at the same time?
1:21: I feel like they have a Batman/Bruce Wayne thing going on.
1:29: We’re never going to see a spider in this video, are we?
1:37: I mean, the spider webs imply spiders, so I kind of feel ripped off.
1:44: Judging from the circle on his forehead, Wednesday 13 might have been bitten by a tick. That’s…something.
1:52: Does being “blood sick” count as a pre-existing condition?
1:55: I wanted a spider and they gave me…this.
1:58: This is so, so, sooooooooo much better than a spider.
2:02: And by “better” I mean “hahahahahahaha holy shit, what were they thinking?”
2:07: “Snausages?!”
2:15: This is like the “Blue shell” of music video scenes.
2:24: Someone must have been huffing too much computerized smoke when they came up with this.
2:35: So “blood sick” means “tripping balls on acid” right?
2:40: Her reaction would be much more genuine if she actually saw that masked contortionist thing.
2:51: Now I’m curious about that contortionist. If that his day job? Did Wednesday 13 find them in a sideshow?
2:57: Did it spin those webs itself?
3:03: Did it do this terrible editing job?
3:12: Is it related to the bad guy in The Poughkeepsie Tapes?
3:17: What’s Wednesday 13 like in real life?
3:20: I guess we’ll never know.

Wednesday 13’s new album Condolences is out on June 2nd via Nuclear Blast Records.

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