Washington Think Tank with W.: Why does your favorite band suck?

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Last week’s Think Tank post turned into an absolute bloodbath, and the carnage that ensued served as a fitting sacrifice for the ceremonies at the Bohemian Grove. However, Rome was not conquered in one day (or however that phrase goes), and I need more trophies to present to the Skull and Bones society. So, like a vulture, I am returning to last week’s discussion to feast on your carcasses.

Today’s Question: Why does your favorite band suck?

Last week we discussed bands that do not deserve the spotlight, and many of you chose to let your poser flags fly proud. Some of you were even brave enough to admit that your favorite bands definitely have fatal flaws. So in today’s Think Tank, we’re going to reopen those wounds. Tell me, what do you hate about your favorite band(s)? What aspect totally sucks about them? Although I’m typically content to be an armchair general and watch the missiles fly from the comfort of my oval office, I decided that this time I would lead by example.

As many of you know, I am an absolute Meshuggah fanboy. I have all of their releases (except the original Psykisk Tesbtild demo), and I’ve seen the gang of trend-setting Swedes live multiple times. My love for Meshuggah is almost unconditional. Almost. Despite holding them in the highest echelons of my esteem, I do have a few tiny nitpicks with my favorite band.

1. Jens’ vocals aren’t exactly the most varied thing in the world (although I would argue that he is good at altering the pitch to meet the needs of the song). Exhibit A.

2.  The riffs have definitely simplified in favor of groove. Compare Exhibit B to Exhibit C.

3. They spawned djent, and I don’t think I can ever forgive them for it. Exhibit D.

So, now that I’ve opened myself to ridicule and judgment, it’s your turn. Why does your favorite band actually suck?

Don’t know what the Washington Think Tank is? This is a weekly column where your former President poses a pressing question and allows the top minds at the Toilet ov Hell to investigate his query.

(Photo VIA)

  • Randall Thor

    My favorite band is Cynic. Their only flaw is that their latest album isn’t very good.

    • W.

      Really? I wouldn’t have ever guessed they were your favorite.

      • Tyree

        I saw him at MDF and he had a Cynic back patch.

        • Randall Thor

          “I saw him at MDF and the power of him overwhelmed me and I didn’t talk to him”

          🙁

          • Tyree

            I was the guy that was wearing a black band shirt.

          • Randall Thor

            My favorite shirt all weekend was the “Gorguts – Colored Sands” shirt that was literally colored sands

          • Tyree

            Hahahahahahahaha!!!! I fucking missed that! That’s awesome!

          • Randall Thor

            I saw it in the Gorguts mosh pit. That pit was like slow motion. I started it up, then in slow mo I see my friend Lindsey next to chicken suit dude, and they both give me the slow mo nod of approval, then I turn to my left and see other people I’d seen in multiple pits do the same thing while some brazillian kid was losing his shit, and then I found the Colored Sands guy, who was just kind of standing there grinning like he knew exactly what I was looking at and how funny I thought it was.

    • I really like it.

      • W.

        I do too. But I didn’t like the new Opeth. I’m fickle.

        • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

          That’s not fickle, that’s just knowing that shit is shit.

          +Flushes Pale Communion down the Toilet ov Hell*

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I love Pale Communion…

          • *flush*

          • Metaphysical Anus

            You’re so predictable.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            as long as you love it in the privacy of your own home, I can respect that

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I love it publicly!

          • old_man_doom

            I do too. It has a darker, warmer vibe than Heritage. I mean, come on, some of those riffs on “Moon Above, Sun Below” and “Voice of Treason” are just straight fucking evil.

        • One of those albums is good, one is not. Plain and simple.

      • Randall Thor

        I do too, but it’s nothing compared to their previous material

        • W.

          I loved Traced in Air, maybe even more than Focus.

          • Randall Thor

            If forced to choose, I choose Focus only because of “How Could I?”

          • Metaphysical Anus

            That’s great choice!

          • W.

            That song touches me in ways I’ve never been touched before. I love the remastered, extended version so much.

          • I actually really liked Re-Traced. Never understood the flak.

          • Randall Thor

            I got to see BOTH versions of Integral Birth live. Tears were had.

          • crazytaco_12

            Same here

        • Can’t argue with that!

    • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

      I like Cynic too. Have not heard new one that I can remember, unless I did listen to it and it wasn’t very good like you said and that’s why I don’t remember

    • i feel like carbon-based anatomy has cynic’s greatest concentration of rocketness.

      • Randall Thor

        I LOVE LOVE LOVE everything they’ve done up to their latest. And even that album I really like, but there’s a great divide between LOVE LOVE LOVE and really like.

  • Tyree

    Favorite band!?! Yikes, that’s a tough one in its self let alone come up with flaws for the band. Jeeez!

  • God

    I like five finger death punch. Their flaws are too numerous to count but id be lying if I said way of the fist, war is the answer, and American capitalist didn’t get regular spots on my playlists.

  • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

    My favorite band(questionable distinction) is(was) Slayer.

    And they suck because: Burger King, Fired Lombardo, Dead Hanneman, and Tom’s no windmilling broken neck.

    • W.

      How do you feel about Slayer’s most recent output? I actually like several tracks from World Painted Blood.

      • God

        Playing with dolls was pretty damn thrashy IMO

      • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

        It definitely had it’s peaks and valleys. The songs that Burger wrote were absolutely horrible, Americon come to mind. Before I got my SILVERADO 2500 DURAMAX CREW CAB DUALLY, I had this Nissan that I had a pretty bangin stereo in, all the speakers, 2 x12 subs prob 1000 watts…and I was always flipping this disc forward to, like @god said, Playing with Dolls. There;s not enough on there to stay in rotation any more, but Seasons and earlier still gets heavy rotation in the labyrinth that has become my playlist since pulling my head out of the sand and migrating here from simpleton Poser sites.

        • W.

          Seasons in the Abyss was actually the Slayer album that hooked me.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            when I FINALLY got to see them live for the first time, it was on that Slayer Megadeth tour a few years ago when they were doing the 20 year anniversary full album play throughs. So Seasons and Rust in Peace. As you could imagine, Flushstain & Co were SHIT….but Slayer absolutely slayed.

          • W.

            I’ve only seen them at Mayhem. I think I caught the other version of that tour that had Testament and Exodus. Testament stole the show.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            I saw em at Mayhem too, I don’t remember if Lombardo was still on the throne, but I remember that Gary was playing. It was original 4 on the 20th Anny tour. Mayhem was shit.

          • KJM

            Lombardo was on the Mayhem tour. I saw it.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            Daves voice…lol!

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            I know it sounds weird but I love the snare on that album!

          • W.

            Such a good album.

          • crazytaco_12

            Dude, this is sort of unrelated, but nobody fucking ever gives Lombardo enough credit for his drumming. Dave is literally one of the best drummers metal has ever seen; fucker plays everything with a swing and with such fluidity (that’s a word right?). Everybody gives him cred for double bass, but his fills are really the highlight of his drumming. Some of the best fills metal has ever had, I haven’t heard a single person to date who normally plays fills as good as Lombardo’s. Btw, I like Bostaph, but he will never be the same.

          • Mook Styfawker

            Don’t forget his general mastery of his instrument(s)*. Fantomas and South of Heaven prove he knows how to bring the fucking hammer down, even when playing slow or slower.

            Would a drum set be considered multiple instruments? I mean, each piece is a separate instrument in a way, at least for marching bands…

          • crazytaco_12

            I don’t consider it to multiple instruments. It’s sort of like comparing if a guitar player only had one string or something.

          • Mook Styfawker

            Good point.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            Great point man! I always thought he was under appreciated. He is excellent! Id like to hear what a real drummer thinks like Tyree. Lombardos style reminds me of a great jazz drummers style!

          • crazytaco_12

            I am a real drummer

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            O my bad man! i didn’t know u played! Am i off base in thinking he has a jazz style?

          • crazytaco_12

            Not at all dude, in fact there’s numerous videos of him playing just straight up jazz type shit. Slayer doesn’t have the best examples, but even in his playing in Slayer, you can hear that signature swing, not just a human metronome. Such a warm tone to his drums as well.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            cool…glad to hear i had a good ear. I like jazz too & like u said his snare playing, fills and cymbals are crisp. It really sounds like jazz players sound to me…

          • Max

            I spent yesterday at work listening to Hour of Penance, Dying Fetus and a few other things. Then, I put on South of Heaven and just immediately remembered: “These drums have way more ‘character’, y’know?”

            I play drums myself and basically modeled my style on ripping off Dave Lombardo’s drum fills – the ones I can actually do, that is.

          • Max

            It’s the best snare sound in metal. See also: South of Heaven and Obituary’s The End Complete. And topically, of one the things that sucks about Slayer (among my favourite bands) is that you can’t hear that snare sound on their records anymore even when Lombardo is present. I gather it’s something to do with the amount of brick-wall limiting that cuts off the attack.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            wow cool man! thanks for the validation! nice to hear others feel the same and you have recording info to add as well. love obituary and now i have a better understanding why! DAT SNARE!

          • Max

            There’s a few other examples of it; one I can think of straight off is on Mayhem’s Live in Leipzig of all places.

            I’m a little sketchy about the recording/engineering details of how it’s achieved (although Andy Wallace, Slayer’s engineer at the time, got a similar sound on many of the rock records he mixed during that era so chasing up an interview with him would be a good place to start if you wanna know about his mic placement and blah blah blah).

            But what I can say is that, with its lack of tonality (it has a fairly “hard”, “flat” character) it’s more likely to be a wood snare than a steel or brass one – and a pretty dampened one at that, to account for the lack of ringing. It has a lot of energy in the mid-range region (1 kHz or thereabouts) plus some discrete distortion of that region to give it that crisp “cracking” sound, and doesn’t have a lot of bottom-end, which would make it sound too “cushioned” and not as sharp.

            And tying in with what I said earlier, because its timbral impact relies upon a pretty sharp transient and therefore a lot of headroom in the waveform, you can’t heavily brick-wall limit it without compromising the impact. And because most metal records these days ARE heavily brick-walled, that’s why we don’t seem to hear it anymore. Christ Illusion is a good record to explain that with; because you’ve got the same band, same drummer and possibly even the same snare, yet it doesn’t have that “crack” to it – being a record from 2006 instead of 1990, the headroom required is no longer afforded on such louder modern records.

            That’s my theory, anyway. Nerd-freestyle concluded.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            Now thats awesome! its like the science of sports cutaways they show during NFL games but for recording! That crack is really noticeable on some and absent on other slayer recordings, makes a lot of sense!

      • WPB is above average at worst, never understood the hate.

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        Good call W. I didn’t think any other WPB fans existed.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        I enjoyed Christ Illusion but I did not like WPB.

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      *flushes Kerry Burger King down the toilet ov hell with the other divebar world tour band hack posers that have to move a pool table to play*

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      Agreed…a total train wreck and a damn shame!

  • My favorite band is Pantera. They suck for a number of reasons.
    1. A huge portion of their fans are toothless morons.
    2. They don’t exist anymore
    3. Vinnie Paul.

    Some folks hold it against them that they started as a glam metal band but I really dig their output from that era.

    • Tyree

      I wish KSOFM was here right now 😉

      • Steve Smithwick

        Where the fuck has he been? Is he on tour? Is he dead? Is he just really busy? I miss that salty fucker.

        • Tyree

          He popped in yesterday for the album artwork post. He just doesn’t turn up as much as he used to though.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Hey dudes. I’m here and there when need be. I have been busy with work, life, music, etc. And I haven’t given this topic much thought, sadly.

    • W.

      I’ve wanted to hear stuff from that era, but I’ve been too lazy to put in effort to track it down.

      • It’s all on YouTube (IMPOSSIBLE to find physically). It’s really fun! Give it a try.

        • W.

          I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have Vulgar Display and Cowboys on vinyl.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I never understood Pantera. I have to this date not liked a single of their songs. Maybe it is just 2deep4me.

          • Randall Thor

            You’re not missing a thing

          • W.

            i think it’s impossible to be from Texas and have not liked Pantera at some point in your life.

          • KJM

            I don’t own a single Pantera album, and I sat in the hall while they opened for sabbath in 1999. I could still hear Phil complaining about fucking everything. God, what a big baby he was.

        • Randall Thor

          One of my MDF friends brought a copy of Power Metal to MDF for Phil to sign when Down played. He never found him though

          • Cock of Steele

            I heard a story about how someone brought an old copy of Metal Magic and I am the night to a Vinny Paul signing, he thought it was hilarious.

        • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

          I think a lot of that stuff is on Spotify too

          • W.

            Just checked. Didn’t see it, unfortunately.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            ok maybe it was somewhere else. I’ll find it and report back when I do

          • W.

            Roger that

          • MoshOff

            Russia has you covered, I just found ’em. Let me know if you actually want them haha.

        • Leif Bearikson

          I see Power Metal and I Am the Night on vinyl all the time.

          • If you see it for a reasonable price, pick it up plz. I will send you money. (srs)

          • Leif Bearikson

            I’ll look for it next time I go rekkid shopping

    • W.

      But seriously, though, Pantera fans are the worst.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        I have been through a lot of shit die to my Pantera dislike.

        • I have been through a lot of shit due to my Pantera liking.

          • Randall Thor

            I don’t know how many stupid redneck fans you have out there, but come to the south like NC or Texas and tell me you still like Pantera after a few shows.

          • W.

            There’s always some fat racist in a Pantera shirt spilling his beer on people in the pit.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            and drives this

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            Needs twin smokestacks on the back, but yes, this is the stereotypical Pantera demographic. (I still love Pantera 4ever <3)

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            I got you bro

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            m/ m/
            *rolls coal all over 1600 Pennsylvania, twin smokestacks pumping out blackness not seen since BP’s oil leak, and choking out Brobama while on the way to the nearest BDubs, accompanied by FFDP*

            EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS TO ASHES!

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            DON’T ASK DON’T TELL BRO

          • Xan

            Is that the Coal Roller 6850? I’ve heard of its existence but never before have I laid eyes upon it.

          • Xan

            I hate most of the people in this glorious state, particularly, the Pantera fans. I think I parked next to about ten coal rolling trucks emblazoned with a confederate flag and a Pantera sticker.

      • If you get stuck talking to an old dude in a confederate flag Pantera shirt at a show (like I have, many times), there is a not small chance he is an actual racist.

        • W.

          Been there, done that. He also likely does meth.

          • Elite Extremophile

            He probably sells it, too.

        • MoshOff

          This just reminded me of one of the worst things I have ever seen/heard caused indirectly by Dime/Pantera:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N0cQJ2BPS0

          • W.

            I saw this band years ago. The fat dude’s gut is mesmerizing.

          • *VOMITS ON LAPTOP*

          • Lord Ov Kapsko

            Oh man, this is even worst than new In Flames.

        • Being a Pantera fan who also happens to be brown, queer, and female, I’ve never been sure how to feel about this. I was in high school when I became a fan and had NO idea how ridiculous I must have looked wearing their merch to school! But at least I haven’t met any of the actual redneck fans yet, living in NYC and all…

          • Oof. It’s kind of a hard thing to unpackage. So many fans are legit trash and the band hasn’t done much to distance themselves from them.

          • Yeah, exactly. Once I realized how gross their scene was I kinda stopped listening to them for about a year. I only returned to their music for those sick riffs and the fact that they popularized the groovy sound that I prefer now (LoG, Gojira type of stuff).

    • Cock of Steele

      Projects in the Jungle and Power Metal is some vicious stuff.

    • i was on a float trip with a bunch of redneck football players from college, and i was playing some heavy metal (forget what it was); and one guy says “fuck this shit” and plays* WALK by Pantera. it was a huge hit.

      *yes it was a large Ford truck.

      • W.

        That sounds like a lot of my college experiences here in Texas.

      • Did he have a beer gut? Was he shirtless or wearing a sleeveless shirt with the confederate flag on the front? Was he wearing a camouflage hat? Was he holding a can of BL?

      • Cock of Steele

        Hehe I remember a guy I knew who was a jockish redneck type and he was sitting in his car listening to For Whom the Bell Tolls, asked me what instrument I played, I said bass, he was like:
        “Oh, that’s the one that goes like deadly deedildoo?”

        Me: “No that’s a guitar”

        “What’s the difference?”

        Me: “Bass usually has 4 strings, guitar has six.”

        “Oh, not impressed”

        I then explained to him that that sick fuckin intro on For Whom the Bell Tolls was a bass.

    • The redneck portion of Pantera’s fanbase definitely sullies their reputation a bit.

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      #1 made me laugh!

    • DeeSnarl

      Plus the contrived, repetitive, macho simplicity of their music. Don’t forget the contrived, repetitive, macho simplicity of their music….

      • Eh, that doesn’t really bother me. I listen to a TON of hardcore. Also, Cemetery Gates, brah.

        • DeeSnarl

          Yeah, I (used to) do too, but something about Pantera never sat right with me. Not hardcore enough to be hardcore, not melodic enough to be my kind of metal… and then there’s the redneckery. I have very little truck with any hickishness. But yeah, they have a couple catchy songs….

        • JWG

          I really really like the cover Tyr did of Cemetery Gates.

          Tyr are also a very hit and miss band for me, but since they’re not my favorite I don’t think I’m allowed to elaborate on the reasons they suck. 😉

    • Gurp

      Y’know, I never knew about Pantera’s retarded fanbase until I saw KSoFM talking shit about them in an MS thread. It was a bit of a revelation.

  • God

    Ok now that I have had time to think I narrowed down my favorite band. Demon Hunter (surprise surprise). They suck because
    1. They have decreased in quality ever since “storm the gates of hell”
    2. They are venturing into “balladcore” territory
    3. Albums are getting repetitive and their sound is no longer evolving.

    • W.

      That cover of Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck, tho.

      • God

        The triptych is my #1 favorite demon hunter record. That cover got me into Prong!

        • W.

          I love Prong, dude. Tommy Victor is a great songwriter.

          • crazytaco_12

            Hopefully seeing them in a few weeks, I love Prong, glad to see some other fans in here. “Rude Awakening” is such a good album.

          • Gurp

            They’re touring with Overkill right now, actually.

          • W.

            That would be a fun show!

    • Metaphysical Anus

      Of course their sound is not evolving. Many christians don’t belive in evolution.

  • Metaphysical Anus

    Ulver: Not enough albums, mate!

    • Randall Thor

      Ulver: Not enough albums that arent’ weird noise tracks *

      FTFY

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Now I feel like listening to Teachings in Silence again.

        • Randall Thor

          I need to go through their discography again. Some of the more avant garde music has a lot of things happening and I’d like to give it a focused and studied listen. SotS is just breathtaking though

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I think my favourite is either Perdition City or Blood Inside.

          • W.

            I haven’t put much effort into exploring their discography, but I’m going to give it a try for you.

          • Randall Thor

            Start with their first three (black metal) albums, or just go straight to Shadows of the Sun. IMO.

          • Randall Thor

            I remember really digging Blood Inside, but not to the same degree as Shadows.

    • W.

      Do you like the more ambient albums as much as the black metal ones?

      • Metaphysical Anus

        I prefer the modern stuff.

        • Randall Thor

          Shadows of the Sun is one of my favorite albums ever. I’m going to listen to it now.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Good choice again. I like you when you’re not in your arrogant power metal mood.

  • Tyree

    Favorite band is Rush.
    1. They made some pretty awful albums from 1984 to 2002. Super 80’s cheese and what not..
    2. 99% of their fans are men.
    I can’t think of any others flaws.

    • W.

      I have a beef with Rush because when I was living in Albuquerque, the radio would play one Rush song every hour. They abused poor Rush the same way most rock stations abuse Metallica.

      • Cock of Steele

        They also abuse AC/DC I sorta mentioned that in my reasoning.

        • Tyree

          I want to murder people when a Arrowsmith song come on the radio.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I feel you so hard.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            infinity upvotes

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            Every time Aerosmith comes on the radio I run to my nearest church and steal the donation box.

          • JWG

            Less likely to get you in trouble than to want to murder Aerosmith every time people come on the radio.

      • Tyree

        They probably played all of the same hit singles by them too.

        • W.

          I heard Tom Sawyer so many times that summer.

          • Tyree

            I don’t know that one.

          • W.

            Also Working Man.

      • DeeSnarl

        When were you in Abq? I was there like ’98-’06. Wait, did we have this convo a long time ago??

        • W.

          For a period in 09. Maybe we did? We’ve both been around on the blogosphere for a while.

    • Randall Thor

      I love Rush but I can literally smell dude sweat when I listen to them

      • Tyree

        Totally.

      • W.

        That distinctive basement reek.

        • Randall Thor

          Very musky, as if it spends most of its time surrounded by things that have absorbed its own stench over many decades

      • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

        moth balls

        • Xan

          Cock n’ balls!

      • KJM

        See my above post.

      • Xan

        Like a Karate dojo.

    • “They made some pretty awesome albums from 1984 to 2002. Super 80’s cheese.”

      FTFY

      • Tyree

        What albums did you like? All of them in that era?

        • KJM

          ‘Hold Your Fire’ had a few decent songs, so did ‘Vapor Trails’.

          • Tyree

            Yeah, a few.

        • Simon Phoenix

          Counterparts was pretty awesome though.

          • Tyree

            I do dig this song a lot from that album. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhDWIC351MA

          • Simon Phoenix

            I forgot how boss the bass on this album was.

            If and when they make a new record, they need to bring back the guy who produced this album.

    • God

      You better hope Conan doesn’t find this post. I think it’s heresy against Crom to speak negatively of RUSH

      • Tyree

        I know right? He may agree me on some of the albums between 1984 and 2002 though being pretty bad though. We’ll see, I may be beheaded.

        • Xan

          I really hated Hold Your Fire. I can listen most of the others albums that were released in the cheese years. Caress of Steel, though shit upon by fans, is one of my favorite rock albums of all time. I love The Necromancer.

          • Simon Phoenix

            This exactly.

            Hold Your Fire is literally the only Rush album i can’t listen through.

    • KJM

      ‘Grace Under Pressure’ is their last 4-star classic.

      I think I’m one of the few Rush fans to attend a show with an actual woman, two even!

      • Tyree

        Hahahaha! You win.

        • KJM

          Strangely enough, a good chunk of my female friends were/are Rush fans.

          • Tyree

            You sir are one of the many few.

          • Max

            See why can’t I ever have female friends like that? I’m not even a Rush fan myself; it just sets a good precedent somehow.

          • KJM

            Heck, I’ve even had female friends who were D+D players.

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      great call.

    • Simon Phoenix

      Number 2 is so true the band themselves made a joke about it in “I Love You, Man.”

      • Tyree

        They are really funny guys in a weird way.

    • Gurp

      What Rush albums are absolute essentials?I’ve never really given them a spin in recent memory.

      • DeeSnarl

        2112

        • Gurp

          Just one?

          • DeeSnarl

            That’s my fave by a wide margin, but also Moving Pictures, Hemispheres, and Signals (largely on the strength of “Subdivisions.”) But everything Grace Under Pressure and before is pretty awesome IMO….

  • Drilldo Pillow

    These W pictures are the best. W at SeaWorld was my favorite until this one.

    • W.

      I don’t know where people keep getting these pictures of me.

      • Drilldo Pillow

        I wonder if this image is a sly confession that W’s favorite band is actually…

        KORN!

        • W.

          Guilty… not!

          Although if I had to confess to something, it would be that I actually like See You on the Other Side. It’s the only Korn album that’s done anything for me.

          • Lord Ov Kapsko

            Mr President, you just gave my brain a BSOD.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Tool. They only have like 14 total songs in their 25-year-long discography (slight exaggeration).

    • (not at all exaggeration)

    • W.

      I do love Tool, but they sure like to waste time with filler tracks.

      • KJM

        Never mind that I’ll be collecting retirement benefits by the time their next disc comes out.

        • W.

          I’ve given up believing that it will ever exist.

        • Mook Styfawker

          The longer the wait becomes for a new album, the more I seem to find time and reasons to bash the shit out of Tool. Will always love the music, though.

          • KJM

            To be fair, they are dealing with a lot of legal bullshit right now.

          • Mook Styfawker

            True, but it still doesn’t really excuse the whole uncaring attitude they have to their fans and the reedonkulous ticket prices. Well, at least last time I checked. The one I seriously considered going to a Tool show and they were like, almost $100.

          • KJM

            Really? They were balcony seats but I only paid $45 in 2012.

          • W.

            I think that’s how much I paid for stadium seats in 09. Seems to depend on the venue.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        Am I the only one around here who loves their earlier records more than their later ones? Or are their other flushers dancing in quicksand?

        • W.

          I think there are probably quite a few people who share your sentiment, but 10,000 Days has a special place in my heart.

    • Tyree

      Ticks and Leeches is a fucking jam. One of the greatest drum songs I’ve ever heard too.

      • W.

        Danny Carey has a very distinctive style. It’s very ritualistic. I think he’s gone on record as saying he makes geometric shapes with his limbs.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          He has said that he uses the unicursal hexagram.

          • W.

            That sounds right. Wikipedia just led me down a strange, occult rabbit hole.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Thelema?

          • W.

            Aye!

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I bought Liber Al Vel Legis years ago. Don’t belong to the religion, just interested in it.

          • W.

            I am religious, but other religions and mythologies have always interested me. I have several holy books and works of mythology from different religions at home.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I’ve never been religious, but I am interested by more occult stuff and of course buddhism.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            you have this one too right?

          • W.
          • JWG
          • Rob M

            ..anyone who references Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, I will happily call brother

          • old_man_doom

            DON’T OPEN THE BOOK

          • Scrimm

            This is me too.

          • W.

            Scrimm, I’m really starting to think we’re the same person.

          • Scrimm

            It is uncanny.

          • Lacertilian

            My favourite use for all holy books

          • *whispers: now we’re talking!

          • KJM

            “Magick Without Tears” is his easiest read with very little of his usual carny bullshit.

          • KJM

            Oh yeah, Danny’s big into Crowley related stuff.

        • Tyree

          He is a master at his craft and a dedicated drummer. His arms are also the size of my thighs. The dude is a beast! Also this…

      • Cock of Steele

        Man I love The Pot

        • W.

          I have a serious clue for Schism. I saw them back in 09, and they played the song a bit differently, but it sounded amazing.

          • KJM

            They’ve changed it up a few times over the years.

          • NefariousDude

            You’re giving me a raging clue, W.

          • W.

            Which way is your clue pointing?

          • NefariousDude

            New Haven, CT

        • KJM

          Dat bassline

      • KJM

        They played it in 2012 last time I saw them, fucking awesome. Danny still has “it” and probably always will.

        • Tyree

          Jealous BRAH! They rarely ever play Ticks and Leeches.

          • W.

            Maynard says it is rough on his voice.

          • Tyree

            That’s what I remember too.

          • KJM

            It was the one time out of the 10 times I’ve seen them that they did.

          • Tyree

            10 times! Wow, impressive.

    • Lord Ov Kapsko

      One time I was baked and figured that when you add “S” to Tool you have a stool.

    • Guppusmaximus

      The new Soen album is coming out in November. Considering their last album was fairly Tool-worthy (and fricken good), “Tellurian” might be better than what Tool would release now anyways… we’ll see. Like I’ve said before (on the site that will remain nameless), I think this new release will be AOTY quality and turn quite a few heads. I personally believe they have the talent to produce some intense and complex material…

      • SMOHLG

        Need to revisit Soen and give that album a better chance.

  • One of my favorite bands is Sylosis. I hate that they haven’t announced anything new yet, jerks.

    • W.

      That doesn’t count!

      • Not my fault you didn’t post the rules

        • Metaphysical Anus

          Are you a lawyer?

        • W.

          I led by example, Jack.

  • Cock of Steele

    Lemme go down the list:
    AC/DC
    1. Super rad awesome early albums, but everything after Fly on the Wall (except Ballbreaker) was pretty meh.
    2. They can attract Bdubs bros
    3. It’s not all about Back in Black people!

    Iron Maiden
    1. Had some meh albums, still good tracks in each one though.
    2. Paul Di Anno apologists “OMG they thucked after Killers Lulz!”

    • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

      Morbid Angel
      2. Illud Divinum Insanus

      • Cock of Steele

        Technically, I blame that on Vincent. Also, because we like a band with a cool frontman, well that’s not our Davy Vincent! Trey’s the fuckin man though that guys is awesome.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          I blame David Vincent for everything. He makes a good scapegoat. My milk has gone bad, David Vincent did it.

          • Cock of Steele

            David Vincent did 9/11

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            David Vincent denied HL3.

          • Cock of Steele

            David Vincent is actually Axl.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            David Vincent is the man behind Babymetal.

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            David Vincent is the man behind Babymetal; Vincent Neilstein is the man up Babymetal’s behind.

        • W.

          Actually, I read an interview where Evil D said the hardcore techno songs were Azagthoth’s idea because he was really into that style of music at the time.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Nah, it was David Vincent.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            yeah, he was deep into playing doom or quake or something. I believe the word was “instagib”

          • Cock of Steele

            I thought he was always into playing those types of video games?

          • Cock of Steele

            Funny, I watched an interview where Azagthoth complained that Domination was way too industrial and that was all David’s fault (Granted this was 1996). Is David just low enough to hash the blame out to his bandmates or, could it be that Trey is the culprit? Hmmmmm I hope not.

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      Highway to Hell, imo, blows Back in Black out of the water.

      • Cock of Steele

        Agreed. But Let there Be Rock/Powerage blows everything out of the water. Although, I have to say Hiring Mutt Lange was their golden ticket to superstardom, you can hear how they changed their sound.

        • KJM

          Let There Be Rock = best AC/DC album

          • Cock of Steele

            Oh hell fuckin yea it is.

  • Metaphysical Anus

    I keep wipeing my screen because of those hairs on the bathroom floor.

    • crazytaco_12

      It looks cleaner now

      • Metaphysical Anus

        It sure does!

  • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

    My favorite band that is hated/sucks: Killswitch Engage.
    Why?

    1. Metalcore just doesn’t have a great reputation for the trve kvlt metalheads of today.

    2. Positivity and breakupcore also do not fly over well with the kvlt crew.

    3. Core bands in general catch a ton of shit.

    This all being said, I will always go out of my say to see Killswitch Engage and shout their lyrics from the top of my lungs at every show. They never disappoint.

    Go ahead guys, flame away!

    • I don’t like the band personally but this is exactly why this think tank post exists. Good reasons, Double D!

      • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

        Thanks Papa Joe! I’m sure I’ll have another band up here soon lol

        Think Tank is a great way to constructively talk shit.

        • W.

          That’s the goal anyway.

          • TBH, what I really want people to take away from this whole site is that people are allowed to like things without anyone jumping down their throat like EVERY. OTHER. METAL. SITE.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            shuddup poser you suck Emmure rules

          • Metaphysical Anus

            If I had metalhead friends, I would recommend this place to them.

          • God

            I love that we still give eachother shit. Good natured insults and poking fun but no one really gets offended over your music taste.

          • I mean, the shit talking is way too fun to eliminate. The lack of malice and negativity is what I enjoy.

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            Healthy shit talking, without getting neck-beardy troll-like on each other, is in fact healthy for a community. Nothing done in malice, plus the overall lack of Babymetal content here reassures me that I won’t get Chris Hansen’ed while at the work place.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Chris Hansen’ed Hahahahahaha!

          • Xan

            Only the rustling of jimmies occur.

          • crazytaco_12

            And with this comment, I really am reminded once again to say “thank you” for creating this site. It’s been great feeling such an overwhelming inclusion and hearing all sides of the story from numerous people with different opinions, yet all in good nature. The one site I’ve been to where it’s like everybody feels music is their life, but that music really isn’t anything to start a fight about.

      • Mook Styfawker

        I also love Dubya’s Think Tank posts. Actually, I love how this whole website is so god damn open minded, unlike MonkeyScrotum.

        • W.

          Thanks, duder. I love engaging people here in the comments.

    • W.

      I’m glad you shared, dude!

      • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

        Making my way back ’round! 😀

    • God

      I was a little Late to The kill switch party. My introduction to them was as daylight dies and I fell in love after that.

      • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

        Hit the back catalog and also check out Times of Grace. Fucking killer album that is.

    • I would say the same thing except for August Burns Red.

      • I fucking love ABR.

        • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

          I like their drummer.

          • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

            Still convinced he is a human spider hybrid.

        • W.

          I hate ABR for the simple reason that when people who don’t know metal find out I like metal, they ask if I like ABR.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            I count that as a win for ABR

      • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

        ABR <3

    • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

      <3

    • Tyree

      I only read in Kvlt, this just looks like scribbles.

  • I wish BTBAM would make their songs a bit shorter sometimes.

    • Metaphysical Anus

      That was a funny joke.

  • The Satan Ov Nvklear Hell

    goatwhore is repetitive, and sammy would be better off making more acid bath material

    • Sight Vnseen

      That might also help speed up a new Soilent Green album.

  • Cheeseburger Eddie

    In Flames. Everything after Come Clarity sucks.

    • W.

      Cosigned.

    • …and a few albums before it

      • Cheeseburger Eddie

        When I say everything after Come Clarity sucks I mean there isn’t one good song. I enjoyed a few songs off of the albums before it. Clayman was their last great album though.

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      Do you concur?

      I concur.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Neurosis- Due to they don’t tour anymore and don’t do anything off of Pain Of Mind or Word As Law live

    • Metaphysical Anus

      Neurosis don’t tour anymore? They were in Finland last summer though.

      • W.

        I think they play very few shows.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          It’s a damn shame I couldn’t go see them.

      • “they don’t tour anymore”
        “They were in Finland”
        …i think we’ve seen all we need to see here folks…

        • Metaphysical Anus

          Don’t make me release the molester corn.

        • They’re also headling for one night at Southwest Terror Fest in October.

    • Randall Thor

      I get to see them at MDF next year

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      They don’t tour a lot and don’t have the visuals anymore, but they sure did kill in Tuska back here in the imaginary wonderland of Finland this summer.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        I’m so fucking mad that I couldn’t go there. Is Pekka Pouta still going there?

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Whos’s Poita? You mean Pouta

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I fixed my typo. Now answer me dammit!

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            If he did, I missed him. So I’m gonna with no.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            At least he used to go there.

    • FeelTheDarkness

      They just don’t tour like they did in the early days. They go to Europe and do like a 5 show “tour” mainly festivals. State side is only random big shows unless the “tour” is west coast dates or Texas.
      As for the visuals,that is a bummer. They set the whole mood for the set.
      Fuck it,they still rule.

    • FeelTheDarkness

      Olde Tyme Neurosis

  • If I have to choose, I guess I would say Every Time I Die. I love that band and I’ve seen them live just about every time they’ve come near me. They suck because:

    1. They’re -core?
    2. They don’t exactly break ground or do anything innovative
    3. the music isn’t very hard to digest
    4. Shitty mallcore band name
    5. They don’t actually suck, I had to force myself to come up with reasons.

    • Randall Thor

      We’rewolf is the ULTIMATE party song

    • I find no fault with ETID, they are consistently good.

  • Cock of Steele

    I should mention Mastodon
    1. The Hunter
    2. “We Want a Leviathan 2 Damnit!”
    3. People who think crack the Skye invented music.
    4. Remission fanboys.

    • Tyree

      Agreed.

    • W.

      Crack the Skye DID invent music. I agree though that Remission wasn’t that groundbreaking.

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      YES, I could have very well thrown them up on here.

      5. Once More ‘Round The Sun is a pop album! Sellouts!
      6. Clean singing killed Mastodon!

      • Cock of Steele

        Well, live it did.

    • crazytaco_12

      Dude, I’m gonna be that guy and say I loved “The Hunter” (not when it first came out, I gave it some time), and I like “Once More…”, but not as much as “The Hunter”. Seriously might be one of, if not my favorite album by them.

      • Sight Vnseen

        I’ll go ahead and take the blame for Remisson fanboys.

      • W.

        I loved the Hunter too. Once More hasn’t quite hit me the same way.

        • JWG

          OMRTS didn’t even have to grow on me to love it, despite being a way different kettle of fish than early Mastodon output.

          Even those girly gang vocals at the end of Aunt Lisa actually tickle me about as much as they annoyed Whatshisname on The Blog Which Shall Not Be Named. And I posted as much at the time.

          • W.

            Some of those riffs are unflushable.

    • SMOHLG

      Damn this is accurate. Whats the beef with ‘The Hunter’? Serious question.

      • Cock ov Steele

        It just bored me really quickly.

  • Archspire, I don’t like…um nevermind.

  • Hank Hill

    STEP INSIDE. SEE THE DEVIL IN I

    • that song can see itself to the door.

      • Hank Hill

        As an unapologetic Slipknot fan, I agree. It’s too Stone Sour and disjointed.

  • I have many favorites but the one band I find flaws with is Botch. On the two full lengths they put out, only half songs are good. Although those songs are amazing and influenced countless bands, I can’t help but wonder how much more I would appreciate them had they only released EPs.

  • Ok fine, I’ll do it correctly. I love the pretty reckless.
    People don’t like them because:
    1. They think Taylor is the only reason the band is famous
    2. They are “radio rock”
    3. They are popular/mainstream

    • W.

      Thank you for contributing.

      • how have we not had a post about guilty pleasures yet?

        • We kinda have. And I think there are a few more in the works.

          • W.

            Correct!

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater Dream Theater

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks Sucks etc.

  • Cock of Steele

    This one I really have to get off my chest:
    Autopsy
    1. Quite a bit of filler imo
    2. Chris Reifert is a 10 year old who just learned bad words (Not necessarily a bad thing, but humorously noticed)
    3. You get the feeling, on everything from Acts of the Unspeakable onwards, that the songwriting is badly rushed.
    4. Abscess is basically the same band (I like both equally)

  • Tyree

    I’m surprised no one has done Opeth yet.

    • W.

      I really don’t have much to complain about other than I didn’t like this latest “retro” album. I hate retro stuff.

      • Cock of Steele

        I could say a few things about the Sword in that regard.

        • W.

          I’ve tried to listen to the Sword, but I just couldn’t get into it.

        • KJM

          Love The Sword, excellent live band.

          • crazytaco_12

            I dig em too, but when I saw them live, the singer looked like he didn’t even want to be in the band anymore (and in interviews it seems the same). He should just leave if he doesn’t like it anymore (sort of like Michael Keene).

          • KJM

            Fortunately, I couldn’t see him well from the back of the club.

            If they’d been around during the late 80s-early 90s, they would’ve been much more successful than they are now. I’m sure that’s part of the reason for his lack of enthusiasm.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Do you also hate good music?

        • W.

          Some.

    • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

      Meta Anus flushed Pale Communion not too long ago.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Fuck you dude!

    • KJM

      I still have to give Pale Communion another shot.

  • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

    Can’t wait till the Janitor gets off his shift from flipping Kerry Kings to enlighten us all on In Flames

    • or him and the Finnish guy can talk about ELP

      • Metaphysical Anus

        I’m only “the Finnish guy” to you? Besided, I hate ELP.

        • W.

          You’re the most important one to us.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Thx bae!

        • you’re the only Finn who matters to me.

        • Steve Smithwick

          You’re the only proof most of us even have that Finland is real.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            The Nordling Rites Ov Karhu is Finnish too!

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        ELP for life! Tarkus is the greatest prog song ever!

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I’m not flipping burgers, I’m working the front of the restaurant. I also had orientation today because the place doesn’t open until next Friday. I have training from Saturday to Tuesday. Also, In Flames rules. This comment was unnecessary.

      • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

        Then stop over sharing personal fodder

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          I’ve kind of toned down on that compared to not long ago.

          • Gurp

            Good man.
            Some of your posts were… um… odd. To put it gently.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    Okay, Tankard
    1. Loads of fillers
    2. Albums always get boring after half an hour, eeven if the songs are good.
    3. Always treated as a b-class band, makes me feel awkward to admit I love them

    Solstafir
    1. Lack of aggression in newer material
    2. Getting monotonic
    3. Apparently not a very good live band

    • Metaphysical Anus

      Don’t you say that about Solstafir!

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        Pre-ordered and lived Otta, but flawless they are not

        • Metaphysical Anus

          Otta is a 5/5 no shit 0/5 flushes album!

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            It’s very good, but around sixth song I wished that they would have kicked me in the teeth.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I let Swans do the kicking.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            They kick nicely too but there are Swans moments and then tjere are Solstafir moments. Sometimes I just want to listen to icelandic wailing.

    • Tyree

      I love Tankard dude!

    • there’s a rumor floating around that you’re Finnish.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Karhu is bear in Finnish. Enough proof?

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I’ve heard that rumour too. I’m afraid it might be true. (Been feelin’ alittle imaginary lately)

        • Metaphysical Anus

          It’s good that we’re imaginary. Now Putin won’t attack us.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            When one has spiraled the staircase of madness as Putin, one cares not. Besides we could his imagination

  • my favorite band is Electric Six. (they are not metal.) but if anyone else here knows the band, he/she will certainly agree with the following statement:
    nine albums and there isn’t one that can be played front to back. every album has at least a handful of stinkers.

    • Metaphysical Anus

      Do you listen to them while you’re in a gay bar?

      • W.

        And when he’s at the gay bar part 2.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          We might wanna leave those other things he does there as his personal matter.

    • W.

      You already know my love for Electric Six, but yah, they don’t have a flawless album.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Danger: This post is high voltage. Also, the Taco Bell is on fire.

  • TrickleDownTacoRiff

    Stone Temple Pilots: not my favorite band but one of my top Top 5.

    1-5: Scott Weiland is a tool.

    • Mook Styfawker

      Scott Weiland is a tool is a colossal understatement, no offense. The guy is a downright piece of fecal matter.

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        None taken. He’s such an ass! Robert D is one of my favorite bassists. The bros got screwed by this tool sooo many times!

    • Gurp

      link to an exposé? I don’t know much about him other than his drug habits.

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        Ironically his memior is very revealing. His addiction was the result of endless cancelled tours etc. I empathise with addiction its the behaviors and edfect on the bands thats annoying.

        Not Dead & Not for Sale: A Memoir
        S Weiland.

        • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

          Worth the read, for sure.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            For sure. Its the same story we’ve heard a million times but He’s so fucking talented! It sucks because he’s such a kick ass front man!

        • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

          One other thing, I actually saw his solo gig at Gramercy theatre a couple/few years ago when his book came out. I actually got written about in a blog review about the show when I heckled Scott. lmao

          http://www.mfronek.com/?p=480

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            ” Cool story bro!!! ” haha! thats kick ass man!

  • Gurp

    Lamb of God is metalcore-cum-groove metal band that plays metalcore and groove metal made solely for the purpose of getting down to and I love every minute of it.

  • Mook Styfawker

    GWAR. I really don’t think why I need to explain why.

    • Mook Styfawker

      Should clarify that GWAR is my favorite METAL band (or at least completely clear metal band). My favorite band ever is Melvins, and they (I guess) because they’re weird and don’t have enough albums that sound the same for a lot of people to hold onto.

      Once read some guy on Youtube say they should have stuck with the Gluey Porch Treatments sound. lolwut?

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        I love Melvins. I saw them open for Down and I felt sorry for Down because how can you go on stage after them.

    • W.

      What sucks about em?

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Dissection.
    1. Reinkaos
    2. Jon’s suicide.
    3. That’s it.

    • Tyree

      Reinkaos I think is what turned me away from them because that was the first album I heard from them. So, I had no real desire to hear much else from them. Storm of the Light’s Bane is fucking incredible though, I’m glad I was introduced to it by you. Definitely buying the physical release of it when I get the chance.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Reinkaos is such a joke too. Hahaha.

        • Huggy Bear OH YEAH

          I never really explored melodeath, but I’d lie if I said I don’t love Reinkaos. Care to suggest some good, in your opinion, albums of that genre? “Reinkaos done right” if you will?

          • Rob M

            Not trying to speak for KSoFM, but if you want something outside of the typical At the Gates or Carcass reco’s that most people would give you

            Desultory – Into Eternity and Bitterness
            The Crown – Deathrace King and Eternal Death
            Hypocrisy – Abducted
            Kalmah – Swamplord

          • Huggy Bear OH YEAH

            Thanks! Gotta raid the youtubes.

      • crazytaco_12

        I like Reinkaos, not every track, but I’ll give it a spin every now and again.

    • DeeSnarl

      Plus he killed an innocent man in a homophobic hate crime. Less than endearing in my book.

      • Gurp

        Wasn’t that one of the dudes from Emperor?

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I thought it was Mayhem? At the Olympics, right?

        • DeeSnarl

          Yeah, Faust. Similar story…

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Thanks Dee. I am not familiar with that other story.

          • DeeSnarl

            Yep. Not sure which story you’re talking about; I’d link you, but I assume you can use Wikipedia as well as I….

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I was focusing on the fucking music. Reinkaos was their worst album, then he killed himself, ending his MUSICAL career.

  • Faith No More
    1. NU- METAL!!
    2. Chuck Mosley
    3. its Not FNM without Jim Martin

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      Especially the Jim Martin one.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      I am looking forward to the new Faith No More. I am mad that they missed playing the States. I am hoping for a new Fantomos and another Tomahawk album soon.

  • Scrimm

    HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO FIND A REASON IRON MAIDN SUCKS!?!
    Ok, here’s one. But you’re still hurting my soul. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3qPaEo8Y9k

    • Mook Styfawker

      I honestly always found that to be their worst album cover. Yes, even more than Dance of Death.

      • Scrimm

        It is my least favorite album.

        • crazytaco_12

          I love this album, some songs aren’t needed, and the lyric “A cunning fox in a chicken’s lair” is pretty painful, but otherwise, a ton of good tracks on that album.

          • Scrimm

            Run Silent, Run Deep is my favorite on that one I think. I still like it, but less than the others.

          • crazytaco_12

            I love a bunch on that record, but “Holy Smoke” and “Mother Russia” are my fucking jams. Seriously wish they’d play some of this shit live.

      • SMOHLG

        That is a bold statement! I go temporarily blind every time I see the cover of DoD.

    • crazytaco_12

      I don’t really like the Blaze era, and some of their newer stuff is hit and miss, that’s about it though

      • Scrimm

        The Blaze era was rough, but it has some sentimental value for me.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Better reason for hating them is this album and Blaze Bayley.

      • Scrimm

        No. And Bayley still shits all over the new In Lames.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          I hate Blaze Bayley. He’s as bad as Tim Owens. Why couldn’t Iron Maiden and Judas Priest get better singers or just keep Rob and Bruce?

          • Scrimm

            Wasn’t their choice, and no one could have replaced them.

          • W.

            Tim Owens actually wasn’t bad with Iced Earth.

          • Scrimm

            I got to see them live with him, good show.

    • Cock ov Steele

      I love Tailgunner and Holy Smoke. But I was mainly joking about my Iron Maiden problems aside from Di’ Anno fanboys and Lady Gaga.

  • Guppusmaximus

    Great Question!! I’ll go with Opeth:

    1. They could continue to make their brand of Progressive Death Metal if Akerfeldt would take a backseat vocals-wise and realize that audio-xeroxing your influences never comes close to the material that your idols already released some 40 odd years ago.

    2. They could also continue to make their mellow albums using their signature sound if Akerfeldt would realize that ‘Damnation’ was a brilliant Prog album and ask for Steve Wilson’s help on how to recreate that environment

    3. Hint: rehire Peter & Martin

    • “3. Hint: rehire Peter & Martin”
      This

    • W.

      Thank you for saying this. I’ve said before that if I wanted to listen to Blue Oyster Cult, I’d listen to Blue Oyster Cult, not Opeth.

  • Leif Bearikson

    I hate that Bill Kelliher’s vox never appear on Mastodong albums. Dude crushes. Example:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVdsvkFHncw#t=26

    Oh, and I don’t like that they went from unconventional song structures to verse/chorus stuff. I still like the music, but it doesn’t feel like an adventure anymore. That and it seems like they are focusing less on RIFFS.

      • Their use of puppets and the humor of this video is one of the reasons Mastodon is my other favorite band. All around awesome guys.

        And before anyone does it, I LOVE Once more round the sun!!!
        Ember City is the best track on that one.

    • W.

      They really should toss him more bones.

  • crazytaco_12

    Some others have already said Maiden, so I’ll go with Voivod
    1) Very inconsistent with styles (went from thrash, to prog, to rock, etc)
    2) Everything from Negatron to Katorz was pretty mediocre (some good songs)
    3) Piggy’s dead, Blacky’s gone

  • NefariousDude

    The black dahlia murder. They really are the slayer of modern death metal. I flipped my wig when I heard a rhythm resembling a 2 step on ever black. Bloodmine I think

  • Xander Crews

    Every Time I Die.

    1.) The fans
    2.) The fans
    3.) Keith Buckley fans are as pompous and bogus as Mike Patton die-hards. You know, the ones that aren’t familiar with much beyond Faith No More, and barely remember the names of the other bands that he’s had something to do with, but openly claim to have paid $100 for a broccoli fart from 1991 that was digitally re-released in Japan only AND BY GOD THERE WERE TOTALLY LIKE 3000 BIDDERS!

    • They were my choice, too!

      • Xander Crews

        I’m glad I’m not the only one lol, I totally expected to hear a ton of shit about them being my favorite because “not metl.” It appears I’ve underestimated the kindness of the terlet.

  • Squibble Skwonk

    One of my favorite bands is Mushroomhead. I think the biggest fault I find with them is their inexplicable desire to repeatedly associate themselves with Insane Clown Posse. They’re touring with a bunch of “Juggalo family” bands right now.

    • That certainly is cringe worthy

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I love Mushroomhead as well and it pisses me off that they are touring with the Juggalo bands. They usually come to my area on every tour they do but this tour has no New York date. Fuck ICP. The only good thing they’ve ever done is their TV show and I barely enjoy that to begin with. I apologize to Greg “The Hammer” Valentine for having to be on that show.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Cringeworthy is me wanting to see Soulfly just because Tony Campos of Static X is in the band. I love Static X so much that I am going to the show just to see him. I don’t even care about Max Calavera being in the band even though I love Sepultura, I am going to see Tony Campos.

    • Lord Ov Kapsko

      Have you concidered eating a spoon ov ebola virus?

  • My favorite band is Isis (the band)
    Reasons why they suck (this is gonna be hard)
    1. They broke up before i ever got to see them live.
    2. They tend to attract snobby elitist metal heads
    3. They take themselves too seriously.

    Please submit your criticisms, but be gentle. I’m rather sensitive when it comes to my love of Isis (the band)

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      I like Isis to, but sometimes I feel like I need to be smarter or at least do some research before I listen to them.
      Have you ever listened to their side projects: Crone, Windmills By The Ocean, White Static Demon, ect.?

      • I’m also an avid follower of Old Man Gloom, Mamiffer and Jodis. I also really like Palms, but there’s just too many other projects to take in.

        Might as well name drop Zozobra as well. They’re pretty awesome. Aaron Harris did the drumming on Zozobra’s first album.

        Overall I’m mainly an Aaron Turner fan. Especially when it comes to his artwork.

        But like i said above, they do tend to be a snobby metal group.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          You’re right. Its like trying to keep up with Justin K Broadwick. After Godflesh, Jesu, Pale Sketchers (Jesu album that became a side project), list gos on and on and on…. How can a fan afford to keep up?
          Was Palms good? I was afraid to buy it because I don’t like the Deftones.

          • W.

            It was like a mellow Isis. Not really my thing.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            OK thanks. I don’t think I’ll get that one.

        • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

          I fucking love Zozobra and enjoy the fact I’ve seen there name somewhere again, it’s been a while.

    • JWG

      I have to hope that nobody’s favorite band would be ISIS (the terrorist group).

    • Gurp

      I remember finding kinda dull last time I listened to them. I dunno. I dug them the first time I heard ’em.

  • Xan

    For me it is Ghost. Some people love them, some people hate them. I love them. I will willingly admit that there is essentially nothing new in the music. It is just cult rock (I don’t consider them heavy enough to be metal). Those Swede’s write some catchy music.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    I love Judas Priest and even their crap is better than most band’s best. They suck because of the Tim Owens era and because of the Nostradamus album which I love.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      I liked the Owens CDs.

      • W.

        I said this to someone else in this thread, but I liked Owens with Iced Earth. IE is kind of a funny band, because they probably have their most talented vocalist now, but they’re releasing their most boring albums.

  • Simon Phoenix

    Vader are one of my top three metal bands of all time. They suck for four reasons.

    1) They are technically the AC/DC of death metal
    2) Doc was a better drummer than the guy they have now
    3) They don’t tour the states as often as they should
    4) Necropolis sucked

    • W.

      Spot on with #1, although I do love Vader.

  • Max

    Entombed:
    They completely lost their hellhound vibe after Clandestine and even the clones can’t quite get it right. Inventing death’n’roll is no compensation.

    Mayhem:
    Nothing, but the new album is inexplicably boooorrrring.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    Static X is one of my favorite bands. Here’s why they suck.

    -They disbanded, so I will never be able to see them live.
    -They had no bad albums but metalheads hate them anyway.
    -Their only bad song was Stingwray off of Cult Of Static.
    -They make Spineshank look bad and I love Spineshank.
    -Their bassist is the only reason I want to go see Soulfly when they come near me and I love Max Cavalera.

    • Gurp

      They’re still touring and playing songs under Wayne Static, I think.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        That’s not static x, that’s Wayne’s solo work.

  • Lacertilian

    Psycroptic:
    1. No solos (kind of excused as they only have 1 guitarist)
    2. There is no 2.
    3. There is no 3.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Favorite band of the last several years has been The Amenta. They suck because they don’t play live anymore and that makes me a sad organism.

    • W.

      Non is such a deliciously heavy and sinister album that no one seems to know about.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Yes, yes it is. And now I have to go listen to it. Thank you.

        • W.

          The song Rape always triggers such a strange range of emotions for me. It seriously reminds me of someone trying some last ditch effort to save humanity and ultimately failing. Plus the way they alternate the bass drum rhythm has always reminded me of a machine gun.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Amen, they’re masters of unsettling dissonance.

  • JWG

    My favorite band (BOC) currently sucks because it’s by-half not the classic, formative lineup I was born too late to discover and appreciate until it was already gone. It would be a bit like Black Sabbath touring now with Ozzy, Iommi and two other guys.

    …Considering they’re halfway there already, this statement may also soon apply to my other favourite (again!).

  • old_man_doom

    My favorite is Mastodon. I have love unconditional for them (see what I did there). However, here’s what I hate about the ‘Dong:
    — A large disparity in vocal quality for studio versus live performance.
    — A disturbing lack of lyrics/content regarding prehistoric creatures and monsters in their recent musical output.
    — No more Paul Romano art 🙁
    — No more richly mythological, complex, and story-driven concept albums (at least not in the near future).

    Most of the things I take issue with are post-CtS, but I really can’t find anything else wrong with those dudes. Honestly, I love everything Mastodon has ever done. My dream is to have a Troy “Crazy Eyes” Sanders guest vocal spot each of my new records like they do with Scott Kelly. That would be glorious

    • W.

      I wish you best of luck in your endeavor!

      • old_man_doom

        To be honest, whenever someone asks me what I want to do with my life or career or whatever, I always say (in my head), “I want to grow up to be like Troy Sanders.” I even have his sig fender jaguar bass. What the fuck is wrong with me?

        • W.

          You’re perfect in my book.

  • Virgil the Ghost Poet

    My first choice is Rollins Band, but they broke up because Hank wants to do TV or some shit. Even though they teased me with a tour in 06. I was there Jimmy, they opened for X the letter. What the hell? But their discography is just to awesome for words so I will go with Godflesh or any of Justin’s work because they are an ep band not a lp band. When you get to song 7-8 you loss interest and your head starts to hurt. If I wanted physical pain when I listen to music I will listen to Marriha Carey. My ears actually hurt.

    • W.

      Weight is pretty metal without actually being metal.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        That is one of my all time favorites. Have you ever listen to any of their earlier albums like Life Time or their later albums with Mother Superior like Get Some Go Again?

        • W.

          I haven’t, but if you think I should, I will.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I’m a Rollins fanboy so I will always recommend them. Their earlier CDs are more raw and dirty sounding and his last 2 CDs with a different band are more straight ahead blues rock. Hope you enjoy if you listen.

  • Steven Gorefrost

    My favorite band is Trivium and there are too many things wrong with that band to list.

  • Call the Slambulance

    My favorite metal bands suck because I listen mostly to grindcore and slam. Nuff said.

  • Call the Slambulance

    On tha realz, though, I don’t know if I’d say I have a favorite band. One of my favorites is definitely Dying Fetus.
    1) Their political lyrics are cringe-worthy.
    2) Procreate the Malformed is seven minutes long. That song is killer, but who the fuck agreed to that?
    3) If they go through another lineup change, I will cry.

  • SMOHLG

    Finally catching up on ToH. This is an awesome article. Good job, dubs.

  • Rob M

    Incantation

    1)..cant keep a consistent lineup..ever
    2)..sound has been aped by just about every retro death metal band of the last five years
    3)…Blasphemy sticks out like an unwanted stepchild in an otherwise unfuckwithable discography