Washington Think Tank with W.: What is the next ideological frontier?

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As citizens of the United States of the Toilet, you are all likely aware that leading this free bowl requires a strong hand and a clear mind. Your Commander in Chief Joe and all the others work hard to bring you the latest news, reviews, and cutting edge ideas. It has been my pleasure to tirelessly supply you with new questions week after week. However, sometimes even I must turn my gaze outward and seek input from outside sources. Even I must listen to the prophets beyond the tiles. Today, I have returned from a sojourn into the seedy underbelly of the social media underworld to bring you a pressing matter whispered of in the darkest corners of Facebook. It has come to my attention that many believe there is a dire flaw in our beloved genre. So I implore you, lend me your hearts and minds and turn your hands to the plow to solve this next riddle.

Today’s Question: What is the next ideological frontier?

In a recent Facebook conversation, one of the Toilet’s own proclaimed that metal must evolve ideologically in order to flourish. True, we are all familiar with our tried and true topics of gore, war, and Old Nick, but perhaps some subgenres in our favorite scene have stagnated. Perhaps we need some new blood, convictions, and fears injected into the canon. Toileteers, what new lyrical and thematic topics would you like to see explored in metal?

As a firm believer in leading by example, I know that I am not exempt from expressing my own desires for thematic growth. Therefore, after much deliberation, I’ve decided upon a particular overarching theme I’d like to see explored more in metal, as well as some recommendations for which bands may be skilled enough to tackle these ideas.

I’m a big fan of conspiracy theories. I’m drawn to the shadowy world of conspiracies not because I actually believe them but because I find them depressingly hilarious. Seriously, some of the best sane storytellers in the world couldn’t even dream of some of the mental gymnastics you find in the conspiracy theorist cult. Below I’ve outlined three conspiracy theories (and related mythologies) with some commentary on metal bands I’d like to see tackle each issue.

  1. There are some really nutty theories regarding the origin of Europeans, but one of the nuttiest is the Yakub myth espoused by the Nation of Islam (which is not at all the same as real Islam, by the way). They believe an evil cone-headed scientist named Yakub created white people on the island of Patmos 6,000 years ago to be a race of devils to destroy other races. That itself is pretty bizarre, but when you start mixing the Yakub myth with the conspiracies of the Nuwaubian Nation and the Fourth Angel’s Bowl people, you get a rather bizarre cocktail of insanity that’s only slightly stranger than the concept of Crack the Skye. Therefore, I think prog-era Mastodon could tackle this one. Alternatively, you could pass it to High on Fire, because De Vermis Mysteriis is equally batty.
  2. Grindcore is no stranger to political commentary. In fact, grind bands are just as likely to overtly comment on their socio-political ideas as they are to derive lyrics from an old medical dictionary. One of my favorite (by virtue of being totally scientifically unfounded) conspiracies is the anti-vaccination campaign responsible for causing the reemergence of Measles here in the United States. Who better to tell rich suburban white soccer moms who believe everything they read online or see on The View that they’re morons than Agoraphobic Nosebleed?
  3. The third social issue/conspiracy I’d like to see touched on would be the environmental politics of GMOs and the companies, like Monsanto, that produce them. There are a number of scientific studies on either side heralding GMOs as a panacea or decrying companies like Monsanto as the great American devil. It would be neat to see a band like Gojira or Wolves in the Throne Room tackle this issue from an environmental perspective.

So tell me, what themes would you like to see metal explore? How can the ideology evolve? Do we even need to have this conversation? Sound off below.

Don’t know what the Washington Think Tank is? This is a weekly column where your former President poses a pressing question and allows the top minds at the Toilet ov Hell to investigate his query.

(h/t to Utmo for the initial idea)

(Photo VIA)

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  • My god, don’t make me relive that thread

    • W.

      Easy, bruh. Just stay on topic.

  • Scientology.

    • W.

      Tool had a lot to say about Scientology.

      • Can you fill me in? I’m not really familiar with their stuff past AEnima or whatevs.

        • W.

          Uh Eulogy on AEnima is directed at L. Ron Hubbard, and Maynard calls out scientology in the song Aenema.

  • Beunhaas

    Goats.

    • I love goats. If I lived out in the country I’d have goats everywhere on my back-forty. Any man who trespasses on my back-forty would be greeted by the muzzle of my aught-six.

      • Drewcifer

        I live in the country, And I’ve owned goats. They are despicable creatures. Only second to chickens. Chickens are fucking stupid, stupid animals and have no purpose on earth but to be consumed.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu
      • Edward Meehan

        I just played the newest Impaled Nazarene last night.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          It’s ripping

          • Edward Meehan

            Agreed. I’m not sure it will best my top ten this year but I enjoyed it.

        • Max

          I just watched Drive last night! Cool movie. Cool soundtrack. The lead character was a bit odd, though.

          • Edward Meehan

            He is very unusual, and quiet. That was a lot of people’s complaints about him and the movie, the little dialogue.

            I watched the Twin Peaks pilot earlier!

          • Max

            It’s not that I minded the little dialogue; I didn’t find the character himself implausible. I just didn’t believe that the mother would let such a strange man into her life so easily – even if he did have a strong resemblance to Ryan Gosling.

            But like I said – cool movie!

          • Edward Meehan

            Ha, that is a good point it never even occurred to me.

          • W.

            Huzzah! I loved it and the soundtrack.

    • Goats and hoes.

      GL

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        haha!

  • Steel?

    • Elite Extremophile

      Fire?

  • I’d actually like a lot less preach in music to be honest. My Facebook feed is full of Maddow or O’Reilly clones and their filtered news blurbs. Makes me hate people I otherwise like.

    • W.

      It’s awesome that you can block people from your feed now.

      • Edward Meehan

        My best guess is that I see way less than half of my friends post online.

    • Gurp

      Yo, Jay, I finally got around to listening Skid Row’s first two albums, that shit was great!

  • Also, cauliflower.

    • YES!

      STAYCAULIFLOWER!

      GL

    • Doctor Dickless

      ….

    • Tyree

      Spicey pickled cauliflower is fantastic. That’s about as far as I go with it though.

  • We should ask Resistant Culture about their thoughts on GMOs and Monsanto.

    • W.

      Resistant Culture?

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Do you know if the vocalist is still in Terrorizer or not

      • I believe he is as well as the guitarist.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          So no hope for the next album to be any good either, oh bother

  • Doctor Dickless

    Needs more communism!

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Kari Peitsamo not enough for you?

      • Doctor Dickless

        He’s still a communist?

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          I’m not sure but he sure has sang about it a lot

          • Doctor Dickless

            Didn’t he start studying theology and is willing to become a priest? I guess he’ll become a communist priest.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            He’s brand new album has a shitload of more or less religious-themed songs. I’d like to see him go all communist on a mass though.

          • Doctor Dickless

            My communist revolution has been ruined. Apparently the modern Finnish working class is more right winged. They need to start teaching more about Marx in vocational schools.

          • W.

            You probably won’t here about communism from American bands. The right wing has turned it into a very dirty word.

          • Doctor Dickless

            It ain’t too popular here either.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    I’d like a Prog Metal Opera depiction of the war with Mars in the book The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, performed by Protest the Hero. Is that too specific?

    • W.

      Not specific enough!

      • I would like Paul Masvidal to pen a performance art piece dedicated to the life and evolution of mitochondrian, using only a theremin.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          I would buy this, without a listen first

  • NefariousDude

    Cyberpunk

  • Conspiracy theorists everywhere right now: http://i.imgur.com/FxikD5Y.png

    • Mother Shabubu III

      I’m under the theory that conspiracy theories are used to keep non-God-fearing people in fear of something bigger and more powerful than them in order to promote fear, order, and paranoia. It’s much easier to control people if they think their government can pull off some kind of Bond villain master scheme. The only thing the government wants is money and lots of it. They will do whatever they can to protect or expand monetary interests even at the expense of living things (wildlife, humans, Earth, etc). They fail to realize they will wind up in the same dirt as those they view as lower life forms in the end.

      TL;DR: conspiracy theories are “fear of God” for people who don’t fear God. All to keep you in line my fellow human garbage.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        That’s a song just waiting to be written

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Here’s more to inspire the song: People like Alex Jones/Jesse Ventura/etc are like the evangelists in the Conspiracy world. Spreading the gospel of fear to people who don’t know better. It angers and disgusts me.

      • W.

        That’s an interesting thought. Sadly, I think a lot of the more extreme theorists probably have mental health disorders, like severe paranoia and schizophrenia. Unfortunately, the internet gives them a forum to be heard rather than helped.

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Disinformation, speculation, and mass information can very easily corrupt a person. It’s like a mental paralysis from information overload. You don’t know what to believe, so you live in constant uncertainty and that causes paranoia and fear. I’ve been there.

          The other thing is stupid people will believe anything if you present it right.

          • W.

            That’s definitely true too.

      • That is some meta-conspiracy right there, good show!

        • Mother Shabubu III

          That said, I wouldn’t put it passed the government to use certain events/screens to help play out an agenda of some kind.

          • W.

            I just feel like the government is far too inefficient to pull off some of the conspiracies they’ve been accused of.

            Slightly related, but I don’t know if any of the conspiracies make me as angry as the Sandy hook deniers.

          • I’m of your mindset. I tend to follow the rule of Occam’s Razor

          • Mother Shabubu III

            Yes and no. I feel if they knew they had some kind of debt records in a building a plane was about to hit, they would let that plane hit it to destroy those records, absolving them of debt. It’s a piece of shit move since people would die, but as I have theorized, the government is all about making money and protecting the money.

            I laugh when people say they cover up aliens. They couldn’t cover up a fucking Presidential blowjob.

      • Ferris Mueller

        How much evidence is needed for a conspiracy theory to just become a conspiracy? The word ‘theory’ is Pavlovian and causes many to simply disregard any idea as quackery.

        • W.

          I think that’s difficult to answer, largely because a lot of people in the conspiracy camp ignore a lot of evidence to disprove the theory. I think the process should be to see if the evidence leads to a conclusion rather than starting with a conclusion and searching for evidence (sorry if that comes across at all negative. I promise I’m not attacking you).

      • Lacertilian

        I have found god-fearing types tend to believe the conspiracy theories too.
        Once you believe in one improbability, it’s a slippery slope down to believing more.

      • crazytaco_12

        Exploitable hysteria

  • NefariousDude

    Crusty blacknened industrial cyberpunk

  • I think more metal songs about disastrous weather could be cool

    • NefariousDude

      Rad droughts

      • W.

        Man, California’s drought has been causing quite a bit of trouble.

        • I been saying for awhile now that if California would just collect all the liberal tears they have been shedding for the last 10 years then the drought would be over!

          GL

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            all they need to do is ban those contrived Ice Bucket challenges

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          All over the country.

    • Dear JB,

      I bought Archspire’s lastest this morning. Fathom Infinite Depth rocks my world.

      Love,

      GL

    • J.R.

      Rage Huracan! Heart of the sky
      Torn assunder by the scathing eye
      Rage Huracan! scour the land!
      forward, now, your time is at hand!

      All joking aside, I’m working on a song with some pals actually that conveys its message through terrestrial cataclysm/geological events/adverse weather. keeps your ears peeled!

  • Cock ov Steele

    We’ve had pirate metal themes ancient Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Levantine, biblical, etc themes, but no one’s really touched on one historical theme…Dinosaurs.

    • Doctor Dickless

      Not metal, but has a dinosaur in it.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekEw2hrU5vk

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        Good Goddamn I love this song, so funny and not without a point

    • Renan Ribeiro

      Time travel dinosaurs vs. robots

      That would be the tits

      • Cock ov Steele

        Someone tell Nocturnus to reform!

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          They have, Practically, Nocturnus A.D, Almost the same

      • Beunhaas

        VS. GOATS. And Denmark.

  • KJM

    Eh, I’m still pretty good with the whole Occult Stoner thing. Most of the time if the riffs are good, they could be singing “yaddayaddayadda yipyipyip” over and over and I’d be cool with it.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    I’ve always wanted to write lyrics with some pseudo-philosophical, grandiose. semi-political epicness wrapped in the foil of African and Sami mythology. But I always end up writing about my day. Anyone else have the same problem? Anyone else even do that stuff? Am I alone?

    • W.

      Art often reflects our personal fears and ambitions, so I think some people are so focused on the legitimate brutality of day-to-day life.

    • Doctor Dickless

      I want to write an absurd tale of a nihilistic penguin that lives among humans, no joke.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I am going to steal this idea, Thank you, goodbye, come again

        • Doctor Dickless

          No! I have already started it! I will find you and murder you!

          • KJM

            You will both produce your versions of this saga and I will decide which version to spend my money on.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            If it is his, I’ll make you buy both

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I’ll contact my agent tomorrow it should be out by next week. You’ll never find me in time!

          • Doctor Dickless

            You damn Finns! Always stealing from others. I’ll sue you. This thread is a proof.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            That’s us allright

  • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

    I think the funniest shit ever is when I hear all these tree hugging hippy libtards hating on Monsanto and GMO’s while they’re toking on their OG Super Bubba Granddaddy Haze x Trainwreck Sour Durban’s. Fucking hypocrites.

    • W.

      Let’s not forget the corn we love and eat today is a GMO.

      • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

        fucking E85. ROLL COAL!

    • Lacertilian

      Monsanto are fucked.
      Some GMO’s should exist, some maybe not.
      Smoking is a choice, eating is not.

  • KJM

    In fact, a big reason I lost my taste for shows like South Park was the need to preach to people became more important than making them laugh.

    • W.

      That’s an interesting insight. i don’t usually pay too much attention to lyrics, so it doesn’t bother me too much. But some bands definitely craft their entire image around a preachy set of beliefs.

      • Renan Ribeiro

        I can’t get behind communist bands, even if they sound good. The only difference I see between communism and nazism is a much smaller body count on the latter’s behalf.

        • Beunhaas

          It worked in Star Trek though.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          I would be interested in a band that sings about communism, they’d get a lot of shit but anyways. Not the sort of “go USSR” kind of band, as USSR had very much less to do with what Marx intended with communism than people like to think, but a band that actually goes by the Marxian philosophy. It has always intrigued me

          • Renan Ribeiro

            I don’t want to sound pedant or sound like an asshole, but if I could I’d like to recommend you the works of Bohm Bawerk and Ludwig Von Mises.

            They were eye-opening for me as I used to believe that true Marxism never existed as well. In actuality, communist regimes have followed a step by step process of his philosophy, except that they never reached the pinnacle of socialism where “From each according to his ability to each according to his need” because that part is impossible.

            Simply put by Rothbard, “There is one good thing about Marx: he was not a Keynesian”

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I’ll see if I can find those books and read them. But I simply meant that the whole way people perceive communism is distorted because of USSR and China and N-Korea, which are not good examples (or very valid) of working communism. So lyrics without that distortion could be good and thought-inducing (could also be very bad, but I’d be intrigued anyway)

          • I believe communism was created by the german reich in WW1 as a flawed economic system in order to cripple russia out of the fight. After all, germany funded, protected and put lenin in power. I think none in that plan thought it would have the backlash it has had.

          • Max

            Murray Rothbard was somebody who believed that, although it should be constitutionally illegal for parents to murder their children, it should not be constitutionally illegal for parents not to bother feeding or clothing their children and leaving them to starve.

            Murray Rothbard’s utopia doesn’t look much better than the communist one; it just looks bad in different ways.

          • Renan Ribeiro

            I am aware of Rothbard’s philosophies and I agree that in some points it is absurd. To me, this extreme libertarianism is just as utopic and cruel as a world under socialist rule.

            I’m not a supporter of his, even though I used his quote before. I’m down with classic liberalism and moderate libertarianism. Even Ayn Rand’s defense of selfishness is too much for me in some aspects.

          • Max

            Fair enough. I used to be a Friedmanite libertarian myself so I can see where you’re coming from.

            The funny thing is that many leftists (such as I now am) can almost fully get behind Adam Smith. Ayn Rand is another matter. That woman was just flat-out weird.

          • Renan Ribeiro

            How did you go from a libertarian to leftist? This interests me deeply as I usually observe people going the opposite way.

          • Max

            (TLDR warning) Actually, I started out leftist at high school and went libertarian at university. My main concern was with freedom – particularly free speech – and I realized at university that the egalitarian left, which was very wrapped up in identity politics at the time, had much less motivation for protecting free speech than I’d assumed. (When you’re surrounded the whole time by feminists who want to ban porn and violent computer games, you gather it mightn’t bode well for your Cannibal Corpse CDs.) I saw that with “equality” often being cited as a reason for curtailing peoples’ “liberty”, they were values that in fact had to be chosen between. And once I realized that, I became more sympathetic to the cause of libertarian principles beyond just free speech and started taking on board principles of the free market – Friedman was a very good writer on this.

            What got me doing an about-face back to egalitarianism was when I left university to join the work-force. I saw and experienced some pretty fucked things in terms of the ways employers treat their employees. The hire-and-fire principles of the free market make it clear that an employee is as free to leave a job as an employer is to dismiss him or hire him in the first place; but when you’re competing for work in a labour-market surplus (ie: any OECD country for the last 40 years), that “freedom” to leave your job and find another rings pretty hollow.

            What I also noticed is how far away we are from ever achieving an actual free market or minimal state in real life; and the most substantial resistance to achieving these comes not from the left but actually from the capitalists who, despite their “small government” rhetoric, usually operate and thrive on the assumption that the state will protect them from competition, bail them out when times are hard, provide much of the infrastructure they operate in which they could never afford to develop themselves (such as a nationwide transport network or even the internet), and generally accommodate their special pleading. Which it does.

            Libertarians’ claims about a “meritocracy” also ring pretty hollow. Most of the people I’ve met who were substantially richer than me (such as my boss) didn’t really achieve it through their own talent, creativity or even hard work. Mostly they just inherited it. What these individuals did earn was usually off the back of those who worked for them and came up with most of the money-making solutions. Sure, these individuals put up the capital, and that’s why they deserve the lion’s share of the reward. I have no problem with that. But the proposition I’ve often heard from these people – that they shouldn’t be taxed AT ALL because they’re the ones providing the jobs – is absolutely laughable.

            I could go on in much greater detail, but that’s the starting point for my about-face. I’ll just finish with one more point: the strength of a political ideology can often be measured by how long it lasts when applied in real life – if it ever is. Communism lasted about half a century, which isn’t brilliant. As Ronald Reagan astutely observed, it doesn’t say much about the virtues of a political system when it has to build an iron curtain to keep its subjects inside as as to “convince” them of those virtues. By contrast, libertarianism has barely ever gotten off the ground, despite such efforts as Peter Thiel’s floating city. But if living in a mixed economy is so putative and unfair to rich people, why haven’t they “escaped” to a libertarian micro-nation like that and given it the benefit of all their financial acumen, entrepreneurial prowess and natural creativity? Because as somebody else said, “It’s a bit hard to find somebody to fix the sewage pump when everybody thinks they’re John Galt.”

          • Renan Ribeiro

            Thank you very much for writing this long response. I think we would have a great discussion if we had the opportunity to talk this over a few beers lol

            From my perspective, a small government would be the best solution to prevent this enamoring of big business and protectionist laws. What you describe happens everyday in Brazil as well – taxes and policies are impeditive for one to start a small business, yet companies that are already big get huge benefits (even billionaire money loans) from the gov, when it should be the contrary or even no loans at all.

            Still, a completely free world could be subjected to the whims of few people with the most money if they chose so – with no difference at all to what we live today.

            This is one of the few issues that keeps me from jumping ship into more radical libertarianism notions, economically at least.

      • KJM

        There are obvious exceptions(i.e. RATM)but, as I said before, if the riffs aren’t there I don’t care.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    I’m actually interested in metal lyrics and themes moving inward, as in dealing with human issues. I have a deep appreciation for concept albums and even songs about fun stuff like zombies, gore and shit, but the traditional themes can get boring sometimes.

    • Beunhaas

      Seconded.

    • Bucket ‘o Blood

      I’m all for this. I’m especially for it when it isn’t just taking the easy route and being all about “I’m so depressed” and “my girlfriend left me because I’m a sniveling cunt” and “I have mommy issues” like a lot of the really poppy stuff, a la Asking Alexandria or Bullet for my Valentine.
      That being said, though, I’d like to see what a band could do with social justice issues. I don’t mean the white teenager “hurr durr check your privilege; men are pigs” variety, but rather the “I am literally going to get killed for being trans/gay/of a minority race/whatever” variety.

  • Oh wow, my friend just let me know that this is a real thing. Advanced level stuff https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbDDQMPKSTo

  • Tyree

    I’d like to see metal lyrics that touch on family values and manners.

    • Beunhaas

      BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.

      • Tyree

        • People say I am the king of selfies, but I have nothing on this one. This is my favorite selfie of all time. You should be very proud of yourself

    • Renan Ribeiro

      Immolate the misbehaved

      • Tyree

        Set the dinner table, serve yourself and others, use utensils, and clean up afterwards.

        • W.

          You know, Sockweb sort of touched on manners.

          • Tyree

            Trve, but there needs to be more. Manners is an important subject for both children and fucking adults.

          • BREEEE BREEEEE, TYREE!!!!!!!!

            GL

          • Beunhaas

            HELP OLD LADIES CROSS THE ROAD, BREEEEEEEEE SCREEEEEEEE. GIVE SOME MONEY TO CHARITY, BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SCREEEEEEEEEEEE.

          • Tyree
          • They get the award for Most Adorable Album of The Year.

    • IronLawnmower

      Theres a lot of metal songs called Parricide if that counts.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Which family: Manson, Bundy (All not the killer), or the Walton’s?
      All seriousness I agree with you.

  • I like the idea of the exploration of one’s inner self, but not just every aspect of one’s self, mainly the negative.

    “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.”
    -Friedrich Nietzsche

    “He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man”
    -Samuel Johnson

    That’s how i like my metal: A journey into the negativity of man.

    Dammit do I love discussing philosophy.

    • Beunhaas

      It seems to me that a lot of new bands are looking more into the negativity of themself then that of others. I like this approach a lot.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Been wanting to delve into that Johnson quote for some time.

    • W.

      I think you’ll find several people receptive of philosophy here. Also, black metal seems to be pretty fertile ground for philosophy.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I’d love a good OSDM album full of some Kantian thoughts, or better yet. A power metal band gone Berkeley ( No, I don’t mean the goddamn college)

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          And why don’t Prog metal bands write great concept albums with depp thought woven into their fabric anymore, or are they and I’m missing all the good stuff.

          • W.

            I think you could probably find some, but it seems prog outright is a bit on the downslope right now.

        • Edward Meehan

          Ugh, reading Kant in college was the worst, cause it was so dense and hard to comprehend.

          • KJM

            A real pissant.
            He was very rarely stable.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I think he got really inward for neve in his life leaving his birth village. He could only learn of the world in his mind. A hard and quite tedious read at first, but I studied a little extra philosophy, so I got used to him. Some intriguing thoughts he had for whats it worth

      • Guppusmaximus

        Death already covered that topic indepth. Chuck had the best outlook for Philosophers:

        “Ideas that fall under shadows of theories that stand tall
        Thoughts that grow narrow upon being verbally released”

        • W.

          When Paul Masvidal finally came out, someone mentioned that these lyrics might have actually been directed towards him. i had never thought of that before.

          • Guppusmaximus

            What? That the lyrics were about Paul or about Philosophers?

          • W.

            About Paul. He is the philosopher in question.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Ahha… I knew that Paul liked to spew on about weird topics under the Cynic banner but I didn’t know chuck wrote a song about it. Though, it totally speaks the truth about Philosophy, imho.

          • W.

            I think Chuck’s point was basically, “You claim to be enlightened but still hide from your true identity” or something.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Possibly,but, if you read it word for word it definitely speaks to people who mentally pontificate about things that do not have explanatory power and when they verbalize those thoughts the reality sets in .

            The greatest of all Philosophers invented the Scientific method because he was intelligent enough to see the shortsightedness of rambling. In other words, he understood that Philosophy could never provide the answers about our Universe.

          • W.

            Good point! I was just trying to explain the theory as I heard it, but I think you make a compelling argument.

      • Seems like every time i go to my bar, I end up either talking philosophy or Star Wars. Never disappoints, as i equally love both subjects….just don’t bring up Jar Jar, I’ll go fucking crazy.

        • W.

          This isn’t philosophy per se, but I’m obsessed with Systems Theory. general Systems Theory by Ludwig von Bertalanffy has had a profound impact on my life.

    • This is one of the reasons Sunn O))) has so much appeal for me. The drones compel me to think inwards. Also I like to call Drone Metal my time travel instruments. They put me in a state of mind, where i’m focused on the task at hand, but everything else is put to the back of my mind. I’d like to think drone metal goes hand in hand with relativity and time dilation.

    • Guest

      How about you write an album about how you steal Tyree’s women.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    There’s not enough metal about food. I think someone should have already wrote some Action Bronson-like metal lyrics by now…

    I remember our fellow Flusher from Spain had a song about a kebab.

    • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

      if there were a band who wrote about smoking brisket and the differences between Carolina and Memphis BBQ, I would be their biggest fan.

      • Kansas BBQ>>>>>>>>>

        • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

          that’s sweet sauce right? I think I like the vinegars better, but admittedly, I’ve never had REAL Kansas Q.

          • Yeah, I’ve had imitators of KS BBQ that are wayyy too sweet, but trve KS BBQ has a good balance between sweet, vinegary, and smoky. Oklahoma Joe’s, Gates, Arthur Bryant’s are all famous Kansas Q, with Oklahoma Joe’s being my personal favorite.

    • Lacertilian

      Check out Vegan Black Metal Chef on YouTube.

  • …Or, ya know, more songs about beer.

    http://youtu.be/O-jOEAufDQ4

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Tankard!

    • Tyree
      • “IT’LL GETCHA DRUNK!!!”

        • Tyree

          YOU’LL BE FUCKING FAT GIRLS IN NO TIME. MMMMMM MMMMM!

          • Speaking of Dave, I held the door open for him at Chipotle on time. For reals. He didn’t walk in, but it was still badarse.

            GL

          • Tyree

            Ha, killer!

      • NDNOvHell

        HOW’S IT TASTE MUTHAFUCKA

        • Tyree

          Can you stop yelling at me? “No I can’t! This is the way I talk! Haven’t you seen any of my movies???”

          • NDNOvHell

            SHAFT? DEEP BLUE SEA?

            THEY ATE ME! A GIANT FUCKING SHARK ATE ME!

            haha

  • TrickleDownTacoRiff

    Hmmm, lets see:

    Zombies? Nope, been done.

    Death? Nope, been done.

    Evil? Nope, been done.

    The apocalypse? Nope, been done.

    The decay of civilization? Nope, been done.

    The destruction of the environment? Nope, been done.

    Raw aggression? Nope, been done.

    War? Nope, been done.

    Famine? Nope, been done.

    Satan? Nope, been done.

    Ill be damned , all the best topics have been covered. So, I reckon if it aint broke don’t fix it!

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        right on man!

    • IronLawnmower

      existential angst?

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        Boom! And there we have it, the new direction for metal! Existential angst! Im comfortable with the familiar and afraid of change, Therefore I stay the same!

        • IronLawnmower

          Alexander is the name metal lyrics is the game!

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            thats whats up!

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    Also a band that actually knows what it is talking about when talking Crowley and Thelema has a demand.

    • W.

      Don’t most make the mistake of referencing him as a Lucifer-worshiping satanist?

      Also, one of my favorite Vader songs, Xeper, is about the Temple of Set.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        Yes, maybe because at the time of his life the press labeled him the wickedest man alive and a satanist, which as a follower of thelema frustrates me. Also Behemoth, even when not concerning Satan and still quoting him there was no depth. I think they are an excellent showcase of supposedly thoughtful, but actually shallow lyrics. I guess I suffer worse than most as I am really into lyrics, I always try to read them when I listen to a new song

        • W.

          Interesting. I don’t usually read lyrics. Also, I’ve never met someone who practices Thelema, so all I know about it is from a brief skimming of wikipedia.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I have almost all my life been intrigued it, but recently decided to enter deeper into it. I felt it sort of fills the “void” of not really being religious in a old fashioned way. And expressed to me much of my thoughts I couldn’t really put to words myself

          • W.

            For someone who is totally ignorant about it, does it count as a “left-hand path” religion?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Well, some consider themselves right-hand path thelemites and other left-hand. But overall it’s hard to say. I would like to say yes, but it really manifests as more of a personal choice

          • W.

            Neat. Thanks for answering these questions.

        • Doctor Dickless

          So, you a part of Pohjan Neito Encampment? You don’t need to answer if you don’t want to.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I am not, but I have considered that maybe my place will one day be amongst the ranks of OTO, But I don’t see myself joining it as of now

          • KJM

            There’s always the question of whether you’re joining the “real” OTO or not.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            One of the questions I have considered, and one of the reasons (though not the greatest by any measure) I have not joined

          • Any relation to o9a?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Ordo Templi Orientis, practically the temple dedicated to thelema and Crowley’s writings. Not really a satanist organisation like o9a

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            Have you ever heard of the process church ( you probably have). It was most well known in the 70’s and had many ties to hollywood as did the church of satan but had more of a sinister reputation such as connections to ritual sacrifice as well as playing a part in the son of sam murders in NYC. Berkowitz had originally said the killings were part of an iniation into the group and that he had not done all the killings. He later recanted his statements because the process threatened to kill his family. His next door neighbors who had the black dog that he said talked to him were also said to be members of the cult. It’s all very mysterious and seems to have faded into the deep underground , if it even still exists today. Then again shouldn’t a secret society remain secret. It only makes sense.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I’ve heard of them

          • KJM, Anla’Shok

            The Process Church had an outlet in the Cambridge area near Cambridge Common. They used to come out and serve coffee and donuts to all the stoned hippies.

          • KJM, Anla’Shok
      • The Satan Ov Nvklear Hell

        we need more Egypt metal.

  • Human trafficking, fluoride conspiracies, the inaction of the NFL to punish violent criminals, dog fighting, bronies, whiskey, mental illness…

    • Doctor Dickless

      Why bronies?

    • Lacertilian

      Surely The Red Chord covered dog fighting, they kept it wolf!
      Actually come to think of it, any topic left to cover was done by The Red Chord.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    How about, keep it fucking metal!!!!!!

    • Beunhaas

      Than what do you consider metal?

      • Tyree

        Metal.

        • Beunhaas

          That’s pretty metal.

          • KJM

            RIFFS. That’s Metal.

          • Tyree

            And RIFFs are what Dissection deliver.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Dissection is a pretty metal name.

          • Tyree

            I think King would agree with you on that.

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      word!

  • this album has some pretty credible theories…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uteiCE02xWQ

    • You got beat by @disqus_9CmX83EGqz:disqus at this, McNulty. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. Hope you still love me.

      • great minds think alike! i just didn’t read all the comments yet…

      • Love the flaccid penis! Embrace the flaccid penis! Live the flaccid penis!

  • Guacamole Jim

    I would love to see more sci-fi themes incorporated into metal. There’s potential with science fiction to do all kinds of really neat sounds that could tie into the music thematically. Plus you could write about dystopian futures, or just plain old ray guns.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      A good sci-fi is hard to beat, but a bad sci-fi is hard not to beat

    • W.

      I’ve enjoyed the fact that a lot of bands seem to be exploring space this year. Artificial brain, Torrential Downpour, etc.

    • JWG

      Way late the party on this one, but reading your post immediately made me think of Scythia side-project SOV (‘Straight Outta Voltron’):

      http://scythia.bandcamp.com/album/sov-a-space-metal-odyssey

  • Stockhausen

    As a Christian, I think a lot of bands could dive into a lot deeper areas of theology. Extol does a better job than most, and Thrice had some of that on their last album, even though it wasn’t metal. A lot if Christian metal comes across as shallow even when I understand the heart behind it.

    • W.

      I’m with you on that. Some of history’s greatest philosophers and scientists were Christians, yet we’re stuck with bands like For Today.

      • Stockhausen

        TANK TOPZ 4 JESUS, GUISE

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      A nice idea, I always tend to think Neal Morse-bad lyrics when religion is concerned as religion. But when concerned as a philosophy it could be good, also a band with good lyrics in the former style could maybe change my mind.

      • W.

        A long time ago I got into a discussion on here with someone about good Christian philosophers. I’m a fan of William Lane Craig and Plantinga. Plantinga’s assessment of rationalism is pretty interesting.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Not familiar with him, I must admit

          • W.

            No worries! His stuff is pretty dense, and I wasn’t really exposed to it until recently.

          • W.

            Also, I’m a fan of Timothy Keller. He wrote a pretty interesting white paper about Theistic Evolution.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            That I’ve not read but otherwise he has seemed a worthwile read

          • W.

            If nothing else, it’s an interesting discussion of how evolution and Christianity aren’t necessarily at odds. The argument can be extended to any science, really.

            http://biologos.org/uploads/projects/Keller_white_paper.pdf

        • Doctor Dickless

          What is your opinion on Søren Kierkegaard?

          • W.

            He’s rather important for the development of ethical theories, and I agree with separation of church and state.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Kierkegaard is the shit. He is probably my favourite philosopher/theologian.

    • Renan Ribeiro

      Saint Augustine metal, right now. I’m totally with you on that.

    • Scrimm

      Took the words right out of my mouth, dude. There’s a lot better stuff than there used to be, but you described it perfectly.

    • Most christian metal is just “Jesus loves you he died for you I am so grateful” when the bible is full of people throwing fire out of their hands, rivers of blood, curses and giant monster battles. If you ask me that’s a lot of wasted potential.

      • W.

        Yup. I heard an interesting discussion once that the 10 plagues of Egypt were Yahweh demonstrating the impotence of the Egyptian gods. That would make a pretty neat concept.

    • Howard Dean

      As bizarre as this might sound, your best bet for finding Abrahamic theological lyrics of a deeper variety within metal is within the orthodox Satanism movement. Though their interpretation of the texts is removed from Judeo-Christian tradition, it still might work for you if you’re wanting that theological “feel.”

      The orthodox Satanism movement within metal is itself is a little fragmented, with some bands focusing more on the textual, citing and quoting from Jewish/Christian/Islamic canon as well as the apocrypha and pseudepigrapha, while others embrace more obscure (and potentially fabricated) gnostic mysticism from codices and grimoires. I actually prefer the former, as the delving into canon/pseudepigrapha feels far more “solid” and grounded in actual “thought” to me. There’s a hefty amount of theology within some of the bands, notably Deathspell Omega, Funeral Mist, and Ofermod, among a myriad of others.

    • crazytaco_12

      I liked how with Believer, some of their lyrics deliberately took on the philosophy behind why they believe in god and addressing atheist’s attacks. Always thought the lyrics in Dimentia “My decision to be free or not to be, reveals the magnitude of my freedom” were pretty cool and thoughtful.

    • I’m not a Christian, but I really dig some Christian bands like August Burns Red (I know, I know), Thrice, Underoath, and The Chariot.

  • Doctor Dickless

    There is a nice ammoint of philosophy in metal and that is good. I don’t know if I just haven’t noticed, but there isn’t a lot of Schopenhauer in metal.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Which is astonishing given his negativity on “cruel and meaningless” life

      • Doctor Dickless

        He would be perfect for some black metal. It’s a shame that Nietzsche gets so much popularity but one of those that influenced him has been left out.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          And Nietzsche is used by NSBM so much and not by too many other bands, it’s bugs me. He was not a nazi goddamnit

          • Doctor Dickless

            Damn nazis! His sister is a key instrument in the nazification of Nietzsche.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I never understood how one could do such a thing to one’s own kin. Even if she didn’t regard nazis as bad. She must have known she was distorting Nietzsche’s writings

          • Doctor Dickless

            Well, she was a nazi.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I know (and I thought I pointed that out), but she knew her brother wasn’t. Was she full of malice to kill her brothers ideals for her own goals

          • Doctor Dickless

            I meant that as a nazi she was ready to do that even to her own brother.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Apparently and for the sorrow of generations to come

          • W.

            He gets lumped in with Satanists a lot too, but if I remember correctly he was atheist, right?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            God is Dead,

          • Doctor Dickless

            Yes, he was an atheist.

          • Doctor Dickless

            Honestly I wasn’t aware that he’s being lumped with satanists. Probably because of the will to power.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      I’d love an album filled with thoughts of Arne Naess and Pentti Linkola. That’d ticle me the right way

      • Doctor Dickless

        Pentti Linkola is quite the fellow.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Controversial as hell, but I’ve always had a soft spot for (most) of his thoughts. We are too numerous, we have no right murder this world. Why would we be of more value than any other species, especially when our existence brings death to so many others. (This album just writes itself) Mixed with a little “how much of this is actually our doing, for how much are we to blame, and what right have we to cause further harm – to our own kin, no less – even if it is for the greate(r/st) good?”

          • Doctor Dickless

            I have been called a misanthrope many times because of my agreament with Linkola. Maybe it’s true.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            So have I, and I think he is a bit misanthropic, but I also feel that that’s not really the point. A bit like you’d evade the question

  • Gobshite

    Food and fine dining. Alcohol has been done already and the only mention of food/ cooking is of the cannibalistic variety and less “stuff you get in your supermarket/mall” or restaurant. I could totally listen to a whole album about Bacon Ribs or pancakes……

    • Tyree

      All right motherfuckers, this next song is a new one off of our Beef Stroganoff LP. This one is called “Cornbread biscuits and gravy”! Circle pit!!!!!

      • Renan Ribeiro

        Strogonoff is metal! That’s what I had for lunch yesterday, but it was shrimp strog. When done correctly it makes you as sleepy as a bad doom album afterwards.

        • Tyree

          That’s one of my favorite meals. It dose make you sleepy though.

        • W.

          Next time I make stuffed mushrooms, I’m going to take pictures and write an article about how to prepare them. Pair it with some dank doom metal.

          • Renan Ribeiro

            That sounds delicious – the mushrooms, not the dank metal part

            Shrooms are almost non-existent in local cuisine here.

    • Doctor Dickless

      Songs about tandoori chicken!

    • KJM

      Stoner Metal about Thai curry!

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    I would think an obvious choice for a GMO themed album would be:

  • Squibble Skwonk

    Current events is surely the future of metal. Cannibal Corpse’s next album can just be about the history, spread, and symptoms of ebola virus. Behemoth can write 12 songs about how much Russia’s government sucks. These things will just write themselves!

    • W.

      You’ve got a great point. Ebola is super metal.

      • Tyree

        Our company is currently designing a medical device to test for Ebola. My department has been whipping up postcards and marketing shit to spread the word on Ebola.

  • Doctor Dickless

    Also, as an agnostic atheist I would like if militant atheism would just disappear from music. Please go away, no one likes you.

    • W.

      the rift between the two seems to be growing consistently.

      • Doctor Dickless

        I feel like militant atheist are ruining the name of every other atheist. Their argument that god surely doesn’t exist is just the inverted form of god surely does exist. They are close minded as fuck.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          They are extremsists, and extremism in thought wether it be on the left or on the right, even in the middle, is never good for thought

          • Doctor Dickless

            On the subject of extremism, should those (Finnish) muslims that went to fight with ISIS allowed to come back normally? I don’t think they should, just because of the possibility of terrorist cells forming inside the country.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I think it’s a hard question, but considering the hard facts. ISIS is a terrorist organisation and a very possible threat to the people and government of Finland (and not only because of our more and more closer relations with the US) and these people are confirmed members of it. We don’t let psychotic murderers without an organization to roam the streets free once they have been identified, why should we when they have an organisation. (not implying that all members of ISIS are such psychotic killers)

    • Specially when religious and mythological themes are way more metal than DERR IS NO GAWD HURR DURR FUNDIES

      • W.

        That’s basically what the last Faceless album was like.

        Still like it, though.

    • The Satan Ov Nvklear Hell

      I believe in me! Why don’t they believe in me too? I’m definitely here!

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    I would think an obvious choice for a GMO themed album would be:

    http://f1.bcbits.com/img/a1652651885_10.jpg

    • W.

      I love Botanist. Hammered Dulcimer FTW.

    • Ferris Mueller

      I’m on the Mosanto is evil bandwagon. And metal is all about evil, so yeah, someone should pick that up

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        I’m torn on that. Here in the Midwest the farmers are feeding the world and the GMOs make it happen. Then you have the Round Up corn created the super weed and now they are trying a new poison seed to kill that. I think labeling the food is a good thing. Give people a choice.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      That’s clever well played sir.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    I love metal, but it’s always nice to hear a song or album featuring lyrics or concepts not normally associated with the genre. Both Mastodon’s Leviathan album and Gojira’s From Mars to Sirius featured lyrics and themes about whales.
    Fucking whales.
    Not Satan.
    Not Vikings.
    Not violence, gore, and death.
    Not forests in winter.
    Not psuedo-tough-guy angst disguising inner wussiness (I’m looking at you, Slipknot. Also every nu-metal and radio buttrock band ever).
    None of that crap.
    They were about whales. Fucking whales.
    And both of those albums slay. They’re still regarded by most fans as the best albums that either band has written so far. Hell, Gojira’s whales even fly. Flying fucking whales in space. You can’t tell me that’s not far more entertaining than another song about Satan. Satan is boring. Flying whales in outer space are way cooler. Fact.

    • Sir_William_Whalus

      Sometimes the deepest depths of the ocean bring the warmest friends.

      • Tyree

        Fantastic.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        Yaayy!! I love you, Sir Whalus. Let’s go on an adventure!!

        • Sir_William_Whalus

          Land and water, we’re all still mammals.

    • Lacertilian

      Both albums just show that metalheads need to stay up late on psychedelics more often than they do currently.

  • Mother Shabubu III

    Obombthema should at least give back his Nobel Peace Prize.

    • W.

      His administration is basically a continuation of mine, aside from health care.

      • Doctor Dickless

        Well, he has to fix all the shit you made.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        At least he isn’t a Repitloid though.

        • W.

          Hey, stop listening to David Icke! He makes me look bad.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          That’s what you say

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      What the goddamn did he even get it for?

      • W.

        Honestly, I have no clue. I don’t think anyone in America knows.

        • Doctor Dickless

          According to wikipedia he got it for “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”. Maybe I missed this happening.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            So for promises he still hasn’t filled?

          • Doctor Dickless

            Pretty much.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            We’ll have to hope Mr. Dean will do better, given that what happens in US affects Funland as well

          • Doctor Dickless

            We’re gonna be called Putinist Union soon.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            You’ll find me on Sweden when that happens

          • Doctor Dickless

            I’ll be coming with you, mate.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        Let’s be real and racial here: being the first black president of the US. Same reason most country-fried Americans hate him. It’s shallow thinking. At least judge the man on his mediocre presidential skills.

        Also; Everyone loves to forget he is technically more white than he is black. Not to sound too douchey, but everyone still sees and judges color, they just try to bury it under some buzz term like Social Justice. It’s really saying “here poor blacks, we think you’re helpless creatures, so we’re going to advocate for you like we would some animal at the ASPCA”.

        Sorry to get all ranty here. People’s hypocrisy and stupidity gets on my nerves.

        • Renan Ribeiro

          I wish I could upvote this more than once.

          In the end, all they want is to breed people who have no ability to function independently whatsoever – nothing more than obedient flock.

        • W.

          Those are the same people who say things like, “Hillary can’t be President because our nation isn’t ready for a female President.” Stop trying to hide your misogyny, dude.

          • Doctor Dickless

            We had a female president. We didn’t die and our country didn’t get destroyed.

          • W.

            People legitimately say stuff like that here.

          • Doctor Dickless

            Weird. Our female president got some publicity there in the states because of Conan O’Brien.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            But were imaginary after all and therefore not comparable

          • Doctor Dickless

            Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that.

  • Sight Vnseen

    Luddite themes. Technology and the internet are getting out of hand.

    • W.

      Care to elaborate?

      • Sight Vnseen

        Oh boy. Where to start.

        I guess the whole constantly being connected to everything scares me the most. The lack of privacy really. It’s a double edged sword though.I don’t have any social media accounts other than disqus, so I’m always a little behind on news involving my friends. My parents and sister have all had thier bank and SS numbers stolen in the last three years too. It’s like you’ve gotta have an online presence nowdays or you don’t exist.

        • W.

          Good point. I think the age of connectivity is very interesting from a Systems perspective. Even beyond social media, most of the major world governments are far too connected now to see the sort of collapse that you’d have with major empires in the past.

          • Sight Vnseen

            On a lighter note, ast year a dude I worked with was convinced I was KSoFM after he found out I visited the other site. That gave me a good laugh.

          • W.

            Haha! I don’t think you’re misanthropic enough to be KSOFM.

          • Sight Vnseen

            Definitely not. I think it was because he was kind of a douche so I tried to give him the could shoulder.

        • Doctor Dickless

          I belive that if things keep going like they are, human race will eventually be completely dependent on technology. Then technology will fail them (not cliched terminator thing, more like a complete malfunction of technology) and human kind will not be able to adapt quickly enough.

          • W.

            Have you read any of the futurist thoughts of guys like Ray Kurzweil? he thinks we’ll reach a singularity where man and machine become fully integrated due to the exponentially progressing rate of technological adaptation.

          • Doctor Dickless

            No I have not. I should probably check this out.

          • W.

            Futurist ideology is pretty interesting, although I would argue it’s a bit optimistic.

          • Doctor Dickless

            One could say that I’m not the most optimistic person in the world.

          • Sight Vnseen

            It seems inevitable.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    I would also like to hear more metal tackling medical themes from a more accurate/personal POV. Don’t get me wrong, Reek of Putrefaction has been my jam several times, but being an avid observer there is definitely a lot more nuance in the experience of being sick that gets left out in favor of gore and exaggeration. It would make for really interesting albums.

    My grandmother was diagnosed with colon cancer this year and I remember listening to Neurosis’ Away over and over the day we found out. Working at a cancer hospital has also made me think a lot about the whole process people go through when facing such illness.

    • W.

      have you ever listened to Into Eternity? the Incurable Tragedy is all about cancer.

      • Renan Ribeiro

        Never heard of them before, but I will check them out. Thanks.

        • W.

          You definitely should. I think the singer lost like three people close to him to cancer in the span of a couple years, so the pain is palpable.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            I might have to check that out. My paternal grandparents both eventually died from cancer, my cousin died from brain cancer, and I myself have already battled and BEATEN cancer once and I’m not even 30 yet.

          • W.

            Jeeze, dude. Sorry to hear that. It’s a pretty powerful album.

      • Scrimm

        After watching cancer, I have no desire to listen to music about it.

  • Ferris Mueller

    It’s been done, but keep doing it.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      9/11 Truthers are the worst.

      • Doctor Dickless

        Holocaust deniers are pretty bad as well.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Just came to my mind, What about the people who shout antisemitist the minute you point out that jews do all kinds of shit too (looking at you Israel)

          • Doctor Dickless

            That gets my panties in a twist. Also blind friends of Israel that can’t see that Israel does some shit too.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I feel you can’t make public statements like that without being labeled a nazi. I’ve tried a couple times, but given up in the face of sheer ignorance

          • Doctor Dickless

            It doesn’t help my case that some of the people that know me also know that I used to be extremely right wing guy in my school days. They think that I’m reverting back to those days.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            It must be really hard, I only get labeled a misanthrope (not just because of my Linkola sympathies) but that doesn’t exactly make things worse for me when talking about a specific group of people

          • Doctor Dickless

            I don’t really mind being called a misanthrope anymore. It’s true in a way.

          • KJM

            Strangely enough, there’s far more diversity of thought and opinion on Israel/Palestine relations in Israel itself than there is in The US.

          • Bucket ‘o Blood

            The Israeli and Palestinian student clubs at my university do their “end the war” thingies together, side by side. It’s actually really nice, seeing as I have seen many Palestinians being blatantly antisemitic, and I have seen many Israelis being blatantly Islamophobic, and seeing the two groups coexisting peacefully is excellent.

          • Anti-Zionist=/=Anti-Semitic

            Alot of people don’t understand the difference.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Unfortunately (more or less)

        • I had a helluva time convincing a friend that a holocaust of sorts occurred when US was colonized and settled…talking about the displacement and destruction of the Native American peoples and cultures, of course….I’m still not sure if they believe me.

          • Doctor Dickless

            ….

          • I’ve got such a man crush on Mr. Colbert

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            My friend once talked to me about how the US was found with similar acts of terrorism than nowadays it faces, it was an interesting thought

          • Part of my lineage is Navajo. When they were relocated to Fort Sumner, it was essentially a 300 mile death march. This has become known as The Long Walk. A similar event occured in another part of the country called The Trail of Tears.

            On a more positive note, I like reading about the Iroquois league, which was a ruling body in upper New York with 5 and later 6 tribes under their watch. It’s been thought that this organization was the influence for United State constitution.

            Anyways, when you have some free time, these are great subjects to learn about.

          • Bucket ‘o Blood

            American concentration camps in WW2 come to mind. Just because it was “for the safety of the nation” instead of “for the safety of the Aryan race” doesn’t change much.

      • I’m at the point where I’ve seen so much exploitation of 9/11, that i just view the event as propaganda, now. This is in no way meant to belittle first responders or the families affected….but i mean come on! :/

      • Ferris Mueller

        Government sponsored terrorism to enable war and repressive new laws is nothing to joke about.

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          It’s not, but that has nothing to do with 9/11. America didn’t gain anything monetarily from invading Iraq, or Afghanistan. We’re billions if not trillions more in debt because of how expensive it is to operate a modern military engagement. Thousands died in the towers, tens of thousands have died in the wars, and there has been not one single penny of monetary gain for our so-called “military-industrial complex.” Just last year the Pentagon’s budget was slashed because it was costing too much. Our government is trillions upon trillions of dollars in debt, and the wars have only exacerbated this. And now we gotta go back to stop these ISIS fucktards from beheading everyone because we’re the only country with the means to do so, even though it’s costing us the most financially.
          9/11 was not an inside job. America did not and has not profited at all from these wars, and in fact have sunk deeper into debt because of them, despite what you or your conspiracy affirming friends say about Cheney and Halliburton and blah blah blah whatever, it’s bullshit. Seriously, dude- YOU and your paranoid circle of conspiracy junkies are the sheeple. YOU need to actually get off the conspiracy websites, put down the bong, and pay fucking attention to what’s actually going on in the world. Religious zealots in Al Quaeda brought down the towers. Not us. Not the jews. No Zionist or Illuminati conspiracy. NO CONSPIRACY ANYWHERE EXCEPT THE ONE IN YOUR HEAD.
          For real man. Don’t believe everything you see on the internet. Including this comment.
          Thank you sir or madam, have a nice day 🙂

          • Scrimm

            Thank you. Not everyone is nuts.

      • KJM

        Because of 9/11 Truthers, we will never have an honest-to-goodness investigation of what went wrong that day and why. That’s the whole reason the 9/11 “Truth” movement exists.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          May I ask why is 9/11 still such a big thing in the US, as a Finn I don’t exactly get it anymore

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I don’t mean to insult or anything, just genuinely asking

          • At this point it’s propaganda used by the war mongering corps. (Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Raytheon)

            “Look what they did to your beloved NYC!”
            “Never forget what happened!”
            “Let’s teach them a lesson!”

            Just my opinion

          • Ferris Mueller

            You just hit the fucking nail on the head – 9/11 was simply the means to an end. Oh, don’t forget to throw the NSA and warrantless bulk data collection in there also. Both sides of the isle are guilty and culpable (sorry W, I voted for you twice out if ignorance).

          • W.

            No need to apologize for voting for me!

          • Scrimm

            I voted for you because you gave me a raise.

          • W.

            I help those who help themselves.

          • W.

            There are certain demographic sectors in this country that used it as a springboard for all sorts of awful beliefs and practices. To them, it was the final brick in the wall for their jingoist beliefs.

          • KJM

            To be fair, when over 2,000 people die in a single attack like that it’s gonna leave a lasting impact, especially in a country that hasn’t known that kind of tragedy since 1941.

            The other reason is because there are still many legit unanswered questions about that day. Many knew an attack was coming and even had solid leads on where/when it would occur, yet almost nothing was done to prevent it. That’s the investigatory vacuum that gets filled with Truther nonsense about WTC 7, radio controlled planes and hidden missiles.

            Hope that helps.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Thanks for the answer it does help as I’ve been led to feel that it was a shock because it showed the US wasn’t untouchable after all. I’ve not known for a long time what to really believe

          • KJM

            That’s a legit way to look at it.

          • Guppusmaximus

            It’s hard for these types of events to have “black & white” answers when a country meddles in many foreign affairs whether it is necessary or not. You just don’t know who your next enemy may be especially if they hold onto antiquated ideologies based on textbooks that have no evidence to support the claims on those pages. While we may have supplied the “ammo”, i.e; military training to those who were responsible for such a brutal attack, for us to obliterate one of our most powerful financial sectors as an excuse for war screams illogical & nonsensical.

          • KJM

            That’s why events like this need to be investigated do we can know who fucked up and how/why. Otherwise the info vacuum gets filled with either Alex Jones and his freaks or the ones who stand up for The Gov’t no matter what as long as their team is running the show.

      • Ferris Mueller

        Government sponsored terrorism to enable war is nothing to joke about.

        • Doctor Dickless

          …..

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    Intelligent humor, I mean come on how hard can it be

    • Doctor Dickless

      Frank Zappa did it already!

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        Not metal (but fucking awesome) and not always that intelligent

        • Doctor Dickless

          Scatological humour is intelligent! You just don’t understand it.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Maybe, though I do think he was sometimes a very brilliant(ly misunderstood) man

          • Doctor Dickless

            He was a musical genius.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    If it weren’t for the racism I’d be all over some TimeCube metal.

    • W.

      TimeCube is some of the most insane stuff I’ve ever encountered. For those out of the loop: http://www.timecube.com/

      • Doctor Dickless

        Apparently I am one of the most dumb ones. Dammit.

        • W.

          The further down you get, the weirder it gets.

          • Doctor Dickless

            I think I’ll have to read this later.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        I suspect Gene Ray is legitimately troubled of mind. I’ve read a lot of web craziness from all up and down the scale of literacy, and Timecube is one of the ones that reads actually broken rather than just weird or dumb.

  • Stockhausen

    I love when bands write their own stories in a concept album. My fanboy-ness is setting in here, but BTBAM’s Parallax II was awesome, especially when you’re able to tie in characters and themes mentioned in three different albums of theirs before the Parallax recordings.
    I would love to see a band make a real literary effort for broad-scale cohesion when looking at their whole discography. Characters they made up resurface, events that are described in an album are shown from a different point of view on another album, etc.

    • W.

      Nevermore did this to an extent. They had connecting themes across their discography and several related songs.

    • Doctor Dickless

      I love concept albums. One of my favourites is from a Finnish band, YUP. It’s an absurd tale of a singing detective that investigates a shady factory owner.

    • old_man_doom

      I was writing about concept albums right before i saw you post this. Parallax is a fantastic example of concept album(s). I’ll let my fanboy-ism shine through and say that Mastodong’s “Blood Mountain” and “Crack the Skye” are two of the greatest concept albums ever created. However, not all good concepts have to rely on narrative to convey a shared theme. Look at Cult o Luna’s “Vertikal”: it shares the same vision and melodic themes through out the album, yet it is very dependent on individual interpretation. I love the fact that it was “inspired” by Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, not telling the story of it. But i do think there needs to be more of both ideas in metal: more narrative and more thematic structure.

      • W.

        You just gave me a raging clue talking about Vertikal.

        • old_man_doom

          Goddamnit, it’s so good. I have a theory that, even though CoL are on hiatus, they are going to make another album and it will be in space…

      • Stockhausen

        I agree on both fronts. Lyrical stuff is awesome, but I love hearing recurring musical themes in a creative way. While I love the Parallax albums and BTBAM in general, I thought they could have capitalized on musically thematic concepts a little better instead of just lyrical themes. Although when that part from “Spectral Reflection” came back in “Extremophile Elite,” I stood up and wanted to high-five everyone around me.

        • old_man_doom

          Absolutely. When the opening melody/theme from Vertikal’s intro reappears in the middle and at the very end of the album, I feel all warm inside. It’s a total journey — beginning, middle, and end.

    • DeeSnarl

      Isn’t that what Coheed & Cambria does (did)?

      • Stockhausen

        Yeah, and I definitely appreciate that aspect of their work. However, I could never get into them. Their fans never helped either.
        Me: “Eh, I don’t like Coheed and Cambria.”
        C&C Fan: “YOU ARE TERRIBLE AND WRONG. ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE. YOU SHOULD DIE.”

        • DeeSnarl

          Oh, I don’t know anything about all that. I’m very much a… casual fan.
          I think the important takeaway here is to never talk to anybody, cuz they might say a bunch of irritating shit….

          • Stockhausen

            Haha, this is true. I think I find things like that so annoying because it puts me face to face with the harsh reality of what I totally use to do all the time. I’ve thankfully grown out of it.

          • DeeSnarl

            Yeah, it took me waaaay too long to figure out that most people don’t like punk or metal or whatever, not because they just haven’t had enough exposure to it, but because they just legitimately do not give a fuck and are happy to listen to the radio. Not sure if that’s what we’re talking about, but it is a true thing.

          • Stockhausen

            Hahaha, that’s it exactly.
            Me: “BUT HAVE YOU EVER, LIKE, LISTENED TO IT, MAN?”
            Everyone within earshot: “Yes. Or, no. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Shut up.”
            Me: “LOL WHAT A CONFORMIST, I BET YOU WISH YOU WERE EDGY LIKE ME.”
            Everyone within earshot: “I’m sure that’s it. Please leave.”

          • DeeSnarl

            “Fine, LOSERS!” *walks away to stand by self*

  • Scrimm

    W, This is really weird but aside from the Innsmouth theme we have planned, conspiracy theories are becoming a large part of our subject matter.

    • W.

      Your band’s? Scrimm, we need to stop communicating telepathically while we sleep.

      • Scrimm

        I know. Admittedly a lot of that idea came from the other two bandmembers but I am running with it.

  • Am I the only one around that doesn’t mind the lyrics as long as they’re not terribly idiotic and whiny? I don’t listen to queen180 not because their lyrics are shit, but because their music is. Now that I think of it, their lyrics are very shit. I miss Dio.

  • The Satan Ov Nvklear Hell

    Insanity and inner turmoil all the way.

  • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

    boy this thread make my head hurt.

  • metal needs more songs about butts.

  • JWG

    The unexplored frontier of Hawaiian Folk influenced Power Metal. Seriously: slack key guitar and falsetto vocals everywhere in Hawaiian traditional folk almost beg for heavier reinterpretation.

    Unfortunately young Hawaiian Metalheads seem to adhere to utterly typical American metal conventions.

  • crazytaco_12

    Gotta get off of here soon, so forgive me if someone has already said this stuff, but I always thought it would be cool for a band to have lyrics that were purely code (I’ve delved into it, but it’s hard to do). Also, for W., Witchaven’s got you covered on the conspiracy theory thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_OJlJma8so

  • Max

    Here’s my two cents’ worth for the “next step”:

    In the past metal bands were always accused by moral watchdogs of the “monkey-see, monkey-do” effect that has plagued music, film, gaming and even books for decades; eg: does reading lyrics about suicide cause somebody to hang themselves?

    To protect their interests and livelihood as entertainers, most artists and their supporters in the media have flatly denied this cause-and-effect or engaged in whataboutery by alluding to unpleasant fare in the Bible, on the six o’clock news, etc.

    Is it perhaps not time to approach this from the opposite perspective? The advertising industry has always done so: What people see, read and hear apparently DOES affect what they purchase and this power is exactly what the advertising industry stakes its reputation on. Then, consider such things as the placebo effect in medicine, the self-help market, psychological indoctrination in the armed forces or religious cults, competitive sports psychology, wartime propaganda – clearly there is plenty of evidence, however contentious, that people’s thoughts – and perhaps actions – CAN be manipulated to a degree.

    So what about music? Off hand, Jim Morrison is the only rock star I can think of who expressed a deep interest in issues of crowd psychology or behavioural manipulation. In metal, most messages, when they’re present at all, don’t get far beyond the sort of general sloganeering or storytelling we see in other rock genres.

    We mightn’t necessarily want a black metal band to influence their fans into burning churches or creating an army of Richard Rameirez types; but it is curious that no black metal band has ever made a thorough study of how sound and words might be used to achieve exactly that outcome, and altered their music, lyrics and presentation accordingly – beyond the hit-and-miss “efforts” of recycled imagery and themes that metal has made throughout its history.

    • I can’t for the life of me remember the band, but I recall reading an interview with some black metal dude who was very open about his desire for his music to drive folks to suicide. My own band will be very upfront about tricking the audience into eating healthy, driving less, and being nice to each other.

      • Max

        And voting in municipal, state and federal elections. And buying Electric Friends merch in bulk!

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        …..

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Wasn’t that Shining jackass was it?

  • Virgil the Ghost Poet

    I saw this stoner guy on TV try to tell me that aliens visited and nuked the dinosaurs. Then they took their DNA and turned them into birds because the birds would be easier to handle so why wouldn’t a space an so that? My first choice would be High on Fire but you already choice that Mr. President so I will ask that maybe King Parrot or Ahab do that. Dinos getting killed by nuclear bombs.

  • George Clarke

    pink album covers

  • Xander Crews

    Dinosaurs are metal as fuck. Where’s all the good dinosaur metal?