Washington Think Tank: What 5 Albums Would You Use to Evangelize a Normie?

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Scene: You’re at your favorite dive bar in town on a Thursday, drinking alone because you’re a strong, independent metalhead. You’ve firmly ensconced yourself at the furthest stool from the door, and if the scowl you wear plastered across your face as you drink from your pitch-black Imperial stout doesn’t ward off conversation, the back-patches you sewed onto your crisp battle jacket surely will. Suddenly, the unimaginable happens. Some chubbies-wearing, DMB-listening, frat-strap rocking bro sidles up to you and plops his shaved legs and buttocks onto the stool next to you. As your new neighbor orders a Shiner Bock because it’s the “best beer in the Lone Star Republic”, you silently plead to Odin that a valkyrie will whisk you away from what’s certain to be an unpleasant conversation. Suddenly, the jukebox switches from Ellie Goulding to Pantera, and the bro, who almost certainly has a confederate flag flying from the back of his lifted two-wheel-drive Ford F-150, turns to you and, upon seeing your metal patches, mutters, “Hell yeah!” Upon seeing your grimace, though, he’s taken aback. “What’s the matter, bro?” he asks. With a minimum of profanity, you try to respond that this isn’t really your style of metal, to which he responds with this fateful question:

“What five albums would you recommend to show me all that metal has to offer?”

What your bro here is asking is a deceptively complex question. He isn’t asking you what your five favorite albums are. He isn’t asking what you think the five heaviest albums are. He’s asking which five metal albums, out of all possible albums, showcase the greatest amount of diversity in this genre you wear so proudly on your clothing. It’s a tricky question, and you’re almost certain to leave out some element of what makes metal great when you finally settle on a list, but such is life.

When one of our Facebook group members initially asked this question, he just mentioned band rather than album. Let’s double down on difficulty, though, and dial in on specific albums. So here’s how you’re each going to answer your bro. List the band, the album, and what qualities of metal you think it captures. Some links would be rad too!

1. Iron Maiden – Number of the Beast – riffs, speed, classical songwriting, melody, clean singing

2. Candlemass – Epicus Doomicus Metallicus – slow pace, atmosphere, riffs

3. Pig Destroyer – Prowler in the Yard – speed, aggression, punk influence, extreme vocals, short songs

4. Gorguts – Obscura – dissonance, complexity, progressive elements, technicality

5. Agalloch – Marrow of the Spirit – atmosphere, complexity, progressive elements, non-metal influences, long songs, emotion, folk elements

I’m obviously missing some major things here, such as industrial elements, truly weird songwriting, and lyrical variation, but alas. Such is the nature of the cruel frat bro’s question. Perhaps you can put together a better list than I. Sound off in the comments below with how you’d answer frat bro’s questions.

(h/t D. C.)

(Photo VIA)

  • tigeraid

    Gaaaah again with only five though! Too hard. Traditional metal, Thrash metal, Black Metal, Death Metal, Power Metal, Doom Metal, Sludge Metal, Symphonic Metal, Technical/Complex shit Metal, MetalCore, Nu-Metal, Industrial Metal, Hair Metal… I dunno how you could give only five examples to fully explore the genre with someone new to it.

    Iron Maiden or Judas Priest for traditional…. Old Metallica for Thrash, or maybe newer stuff like LoG…. Whatever for Black Metal… Bolt Thrower or Death for Death…. Iced Earth or Blind Guardian for Power… Candlemass for Doom…. Sludge I dunno…. Something like Nightwish for Symphonic… Fallujah for Technical or something…. I dunno, Killswitch Engage for Metalcore… Korn for Nu…. Rammstein for Industrial… Some crap for Hair Metal….

    And I’m sure I’m missing a half-dozen sub-genres!! My brain hurts.

    I suppose what I’d do MYSELF is only introduce the five genres I *LIKE*. So Traditional, Thrash, Power, Death and Doom? And maybe KSE on the side…

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Leaving out black metal is criminal, as it’s another facet of metal.

      • Dubs

        My initial list almost did. I know Agalloch isn’t archetypal metal, but the constraints of the experiment are pretty challenging.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Limiting it to five will cause that.

      • tigeraid

        Well I didn’t leave it out of my big list. I just said if I was FORCED to only use five, I would rather use the five I could personally pontificate on, to further the conversation. With said frat bro.

    • Just use Manowar

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Too tough.

    • COAL ROLL

      agreed

    • Dubs

      All the best things in life come at a cost.

  • This is based solely on Tyree tastes, so here you go.

    Top 5 all-around Metal Releases to Share with a Normie:
    1. Black Sabbath – Master of Reality
    2. Mayhem – De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
    3. Cryptopsy – None So Vile
    4. Hellhammer – Satanic Rites
    5. Sodom – Persecution Mania

    Just Black Metal:
    1. Darkthrone – A Blaze in the Northern Sky
    2. Katharsis – 666
    3. Blasphemy – Fallen Angel of Doom…
    4. Beherit – Drawing Down the Moon
    5. Emperor – Material of of the split with Enslaved

    Just Death Metal:
    1. Morbid Angel – Altars Of Madness
    2. Immolation – Close to a World Below
    3. Ripping Corpse – Dreaming with the Dead
    4. Necrovore – Divus de Mortuus
    5. Possessed – 7 Churches

    Just Thrash Metal:
    1. Dark Angel – Darkness Descends
    2. Kreator – Pleasure to Kill
    3. Sodom – Agent Orange
    4. Slayer – Hell Awaits
    5. Morbid Saint – Spectrum of Death

    Just Grind:
    1. Carcass – Symphonies of Sickness
    2. Regurgitate – Effortless Regurgitation Of Bright Red Blood
    3. Terrorizer – World Downfall
    4. Repulsion – Horrified
    5. Insect Warfare – World Extermination

    Just Doom Metal:
    1. Candlemass – Nightfall
    2. Grief – Come to Grief
    3. Disembowelment – Transcendence into the Peripheral
    4. Trouble – Trouble
    5. Electric Wizard – Dopethrone

    • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

      You need some Sleep on that Doom list. Good other than that though

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      This list gets my shit hard.

      • That happened to me the other day when I ate the wrong stuff. Hope you feel better.

    • RJA

      These are solid. I was just listening to World Downfall last week, so good.

    • Dubs

      I’d say your first list is a pretty good one.

      • Dubs

        And by that I don’t mean the others are bad for individual genres, just that the first is the best response to the question.

      • Thanks, I tried to make it some what diverse. But, I’m not very diverse in my metal tastes.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          One-dimensional ’til death!

    • None of these lists has Manowar, so they’re wrong

    • more beer

      All 6 lists are solid.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Where is your “Just Djent” list?

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        Calling a genre “djent” is like calling an Autopsy album “power chords” or a Diocletian song “feedback.”

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        Wouldn’t that just be 5 Meshuggah albums back to back?

    • Death metal w/o Death? LMFAO
      Doom Metal w/o Black Sabbath? LeL!
      Thrash Metal w/o Metallica or Megadeth? Teehee
      Grind w/o Napalm Death or Carcass? Wut
      Black Metal w/o Burpzum? Top cuck!

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      Killer list, man. I’m finding the ones I haven’t heard and digging in, thanks.

  • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

    First and foremost, please take your Shiner Bock insult back. It may not be the best(far from it actually and really just an okay beer) Texas has to offer, but show some respect.

    And secondly, i find your lack of Sabbath disturbing.

    • IT’S TERRIBLE.

      • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

        I’m not denying any opinions, I’m just asking for some respect.

        • more beer

          I always pass Shiner up for something better. Unless I am drunk and that is all there is. As Dubs lives in Texas I don’t think he meant to insult you personally.

          • Dubs

            I meant to insult everyone who thinks Shiner is the best personally.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            I gotcha man, just giving you shit.

            Which Imperial Stout were you referencing?

          • Dubs

            All of them. All of the imperial stouts.

            I like Old Rasputin a lot though.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            ALL THEM STOUTS!!

            That’s a good ern.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Imperial stouts are fucking godly.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Yes.

          • Guacamole Jim

            My second favourite beer, and I can never find it.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Maybe you’re in the wrong country.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I’ve never made it to the right one, apparently. At least Canada had these bad boys:

            http://www.beer-pages.com/images/courage-imperial.jpg

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Never had that before. Looks good. Well you do have
            Unibroue, which is damn good.

          • Guacamole Jim

            It’s my favourite. Comes in tiny ass bottles, and would be overpriced if it didn’t have the most amazing flavour I’ve ever had in a beer. And yeah, Unibroue is fucking stellar beer!

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            If you’re still down in South America, you might be able to get Palma Louca pretty easy (they only sell it here in the States for a limited time from what I can tell). Highly recommended Brazilian beer!

          • My all time favorite beer sir.

          • Dubs

            I’ll clink my glass to that. I picked up some kind of bomber stout over break. Let me see if I can find a picture.

          • Dubs

            Oops, it’s a porter.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Samuel Smith make good beers.

          • Dubs

            RFI for image in case you didn’t see it.

          • more beer

            You see how I feel about so I am not insulted. Now if you insulting a Left Hand beer I might be a little insulted. Except every single one of their beers is good.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Same here, for the most part.
            I know he lives in Texas, and i definitely understand what he meant. Just giving ol W a hard time.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Shiner is garbage. Oh well.

      • RJA

        I had one of those peach ones recently. First half of the bottle “this isn’t too bad”, second half “this is absolutely awful”.

        • Yep. Shiner Cheer tastes like melted Peach gummies. Shiner Kosmos is actually pretty good but only available in the variety pack. I actually travelled to the Shiner brewery to try to pick up a pack of just Kosmos. They don’t sell ’em.

          • Dubs

            Kosmos is just okay. I’m not blown away by anything they make.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Kosmos is good.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Have you had their new IPA?

          • I have. I try everything they put out. Not a fan of it doe.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Fair enough. I thought it was pretty decent. And for the price i can get it, pretty solid.

          • For lower-cost, not-shitty beers I generally go for Austin Beer Works or Oasis Brewing. Their Sturgill Simpson beer is like $7 a sixer at my HEB and dang delicious.

          • RJA

            They have a Sturgill Simpson beer? Killer. What style is it?

          • Session IPA. I don’t think it’s official, their brewmaster is just a big country music fan.

            http://sr1.wine-searcher.net/images/labels/43/68/10724368.jpg

          • RJA

            Nice. I just saw new pressing of Meta modern Sounds that looks pretty sweet.

          • Saw that too! Thinking of picking it up.

          • The thing about the session IPA’s are that they are just as expensive as a full throttle IPA. So if you are going to pay handsomely for an IPA why settle for a IPA that is lighter?

            I would love to hear someones thoughts on this.

          • >as mentioned, this beer is $7 a sixer.

          • ah, I missed that part. I guess I was just bitching. Sorry, Joe!

          • I dunno. IPAs are my favorite. Session IPAs are a nice alternative to light beers if you’re drinking over an extended period of time and you don’t wanna be shitfucked.

          • Dubs

            I don’t typically like IPAs, but every now and then an IPA demon comes upon me and I just have to have one.

          • I could see the appeal. IPA’s are really great a giving me a headache after 3 beers. It is almost a sure thing….

          • Red Hook is where it is at, personally. It is about the only “fancy” thing I buy on the reg.

            http://images.fastcompany.com/upload/Redhook_IPA_Six-Pack.jpg

          • IPAs are the shit. I regret developing a taste Double IPAs though cuz that shit aint’ cheap.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Yeah, no shit

          • I’m not shitting you.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Glad to hear there is no shitting of other people going on around here.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            That is not very bad.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Austin Beerworks doesn’t make it all the way to me. Ive been meaning to try Oasis though.

            I unfortunately do not have an HEB around my area, its depressing.

          • Dubs

            No HEB here either.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            It sucks, doesn’t it? I used to live in a place with 4 in a 20 mile radius.

          • Dubs

            We just have all variations of United, which isn’t a terrible thing.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Yep, not too bad. We have a Central Market a couple cities over. But most important for beer, we have Total Wine.

          • Dubs

            The Pinkie’s and Specs here have decent selections.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Right on.

  • 1) MANOWAR – KINGS OF METAL
    2) MANOWAR – KINGS OF METAL
    3) MANOWAR – KINGS OF METAL
    4) MANOWAR – KINGS OF METAL
    5) MANOWAR – KINGS OF METAL

  • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

    1. Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
    2. Black Sabbath – Paranoid
    3. Black Sabbath – Master of Reality
    4. Black Sabbath – Vol. 4
    5. Black Sabbath – Sabbath Bloody Sabbath

    • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

      And after that initial schooling

      1. Judas Priest – British Steel(not my favorite JP, but its a good starting point)
      2. Sleep – Dopesmoker (if they can’t handle this they need to leave the hall)
      3. Cannibal Corpse – The Bleeding (my first death metal album, seemed like a good starting point for me)
      4. Darkthrone – Blaze in the Northern Sky (can’t not include Black Metal)
      5. ManOwaR – Kings of Metal (just to give them a taste of the over-the-top, see if they like it)

  • Brock Samson

    1. Judas Priest- Screaming for Vengeance
    2. Blut Aus Nord- Memoria Vetusta I: Fathers of the Icy Age
    3. Nasum- Helvete
    4. Death- Symbolic
    5. Swallowed- Lunarterial

    • Dubs

      I love that Swallowed release. This is a pretty great spread here.

      • Brock Samson

        That album is the record that finally made me appreciate doom.

    • RJA

      Nice list here. I would have to add a Death album to the list also. Same problem as Sabbath though, what album do you choose?

  • Stanley

    There’s some good stuff on these lists, but if I was trying to convince somebody to get into metal, I’d start with what it sounds like NOW and work backwards. If they don’t like what metal has become, I wouldn’t start them off listening to Sabbath.

    • Dubs

      Give us a list, Stan.

    • I’d definitely throw in Mgła With Hearts Toward None for a newer release.

    • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

      I like the idea of a chronological introduction. Its like reading a history book.

  • 1. Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath (slow, primitive, dark, pioneer).

    2. Helloween – Keeper of the Seven Keys Part II (fast, happy, tenor vocals, melodic).
    3. In Flames – The Jester Race (mix of harsh vocals with melodies, acoustic guitars, dual harmonies, few solos).
    4. Darkthrone – Transilvanian Hunger (atmospheric, caustic, lo-fi, black merol).
    5. Cynic – Focus (Innovative, progressive, experimental, jazz and classical music-inspired).

  • Guacamole Jim

    I’m actually confused as to the question. The title is: “What five albums would you use to evangelize a normie” but the question you state is: “which five metal albums, out of all possible albums, showcase the greatest amount of diversity in this genre you wear so proudly on your clothing.”

    Since I assume the title is a bit of a red herring (since the albums that showcase diversity are NOT the albums I would use to convert normies), I’m going to go with the question specifically regarding diversity.

    1. Meshuggah – I
    2. Stratovarius – Infinite
    3. Eluveitie – Slania
    4. The Algorithm – Polymorphic Code [Edit: messed up the title]
    5. Baring Teeth – Ghost Chorus Among Old Ruins

    It’s hard to pin it down to just five, though. There needs to be two more to really get a better sense of the scope.

    6. Cynic – Traced in Air
    7. Mastodon – Leviathan

    • Shut up, nerd.

    • Dubs

      Aye, the headline is different than the actual question.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Yeah – I was putting together my list, then realized that I may have misunderstood the question, then realized I hadn’t, then thought to much about it and decided to immortalize my thoughts in text. It’s not as confusing as my brain made it out to be.

    • Guacamole Jim

      Argh, I’m still missing black metal.

      8. Emperor – Into the Nighside Eclipse

      • Emperor (Jim) – Into the Avocado Eclipse

        1. Intro (ov Guacs).
        2. Into the Infinity of Guacamoles.
        3. The Burning Shadows of Avocados.
        4. Cosmic Burritos of my Creations & Tacos.
        5. Beyond the Great Vast Alligator Pear.
        6. Towards the Chimichanga.
        7. The Majesty of the Aguacate Ensalada.
        8. I Am the Guac Jims.
        9. Inno A Jim.

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      Infinite? Really? That was Stratovarius’ worst one, by far. I’d replace that one with ‘Destiny’, which I’ve actually gotten a few friends into. Infinite has three good songs on it, tops.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    My random list.
    Venom – Welcome to Hell
    Rainbow – Rising
    Dissection – Storm of the Light’s Bane
    Death- Scream Bloody Gore
    Bathory- Under the Sign of the Black Mark

    My list sucks, but so do you.

    • Nothing about this sucks. Solid fucking list bro.

    • Dubs

      This ain’t bad. You’ve got riffs, melody, vocal variation, song length and technicality variation…

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        What you said…..

    • Scream Bloody Gore is by far my favorite Death album. I never really could get into many of the albums past that one. The band started getting really good at their instruments and I hated it. Kill me.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Agreed.

      • RJA

        “The band started getting really good at their instruments and I hated it.”
        classic!

    • Megan Alexandra

      No I think this is good. It might not be showcasing diversity so much as the OP but there’s a wide range of vocal styles, guitar sounds, speed, production styles, etc. I think listening to something like Agalloch “cold” or without context would be confusing. All of those are life-changing albums IMO.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Yeah, I tried to go with “benchmark” albums.

      • Dubs

        Interestingly, my wife, who doesn’t particularly enjoy metal, took to Agalloch more than most bands I’ve played for her.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          I’ve caught my wife humming Transilvanian Hunger.

          • Dubs

            Ha! That’s excellent. I was listening to some Fantomas (the Mike Patton project) once, and she asked me to send her the song.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I’ve gotten her into a few things, but not much. So it goes.

          • Dubs

            I know the feeling.

        • Waynecro

          The only metal my ex didn’t immediately roll her eyes at was Omnium Gatherum’s The Redshift. I was playing it in the car, and she said she kind of liked it. I sent her the album later, and she was like, “What the hell is this for?” Women.

    • I was really surprised to not see Dissection on any other list. Solid list.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Thanks.

      • A KSOFM list without Dissection on it is a false list.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          This is very true.

    • Under the Sign of the Black Mark & The Return are my go to Bathory albums. I like that meaner and more evil thrash sound.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Totally. They’re both killer, mean releases.

  • nbm02ss

    1. Sunn O))) – White 1
    2. Sunn O))) – White 2
    3. Sunn O))) – Monoliths and Dimensions
    4. Sunn O))) – Black One
    5. Sunn O))) – Void

    Never getting asked for recommendations again – priceless.

    • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

      Winner. We have a winner here.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      I like all of those

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        How’d ya feel of the new one?

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Wasn’t bad, not as good as Monoliths.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I didn’t much dig.

      • I like all of you, bb.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    1. Pantera – POWer Metal
    2. Pantera – Vulgar Display of POWer
    3. Pantera – POWboys From Heck
    4. Damageplan – New Found POWer
    5. Hellyeah! – Hellyeah, POW!

  • Stanley

    1. Mgla – Exercises in Futility.
    2. Blut Aus Nord – Memoria Vetusta II
    3. Taake – Hordalands doedskvad
    4. Immortal – At the Heart of Winter
    5. Burzum – Hvis lyset tar oss

    • Dubs

      This is a very black list.

      • Stanley

        You need to start the bro off on the right foot, no?

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Indeed.

    • Nice! I’d replace Hordalands doedskvad with
      Nattestid ser porten vid though. Killer black metal list!

      • Stanley

        The first 3 are all classics. I choose the 3rd one as it’s supports my chronology in a more pleasing way.

        • So you prefer Exercises in Futility to any other Mgła release? I still find With Hearts Toward None to still be my favorite.

          • Stanley

            For now, yes. Although I’ve played With Hearts Towards None II about 10 times in the last few days. To me that’s the most amazing thing about Mgla. Each week I have a new favorite song.

            “Repent! Repent!
            For the LORD has risen
            high and proud
            His chariot drawn
            by rats and vultures
            And adorned
            with heads of skeptics”

          • I’ve been playing Presence a lot lately. So fucking cold! It’s a different approach to how they craft their songs now but I fucking love it.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjcdCuXTEZI

          • Stanley

            Presence is excellent. They’ve got the whole Burzum guitar tone going on but with melodies over the top that they would later perfect.

          • sweetooth0

            I think this one (especially the second track) might actually be my facorite Mgla release.

          • Waynecro

            “With Hearts toward None VII” is probably the song I listen to most.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Same here. EIF wasn’t bad, but kinda sounded the same after a couple of songs. WHTN was fucking amazing though.

    • Memoria Vetusta II >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        MEMORIA VETUSTA I IS BETTER FITE ME

        • TAPIR LIST:

          1. SOMETHING WITH AN ÜMLAUT IN THE NAME.
          2. KING CRIMSON.
          3. …
          4. STABBED.
          5. …

          DEAD.

          • you missed David Bowie. Come on, Link!

          • Who cares? The stabbed will not hear the final song of King Crimson anyways.

          • You have a valid counterpoint, bud.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I’s stab the normie before I give them any bands.
            NORMIES DESERVE NO HELP! MIGHT IS RIGHT!

          • Dubs

            Fascist.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            *quickly hides Mein Kampf*
            Who, me? Naaaaaaaaah, you’re barking up the wrong white, pure tree.
            *starts sweating nervously*

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair
  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    1. Static X-Wisconsin Death Trip
    2. Black Sabbath- Volume 4
    3. Korn- Korn
    4. Ghost- Meliota
    5. Shining-V

  • Dubs

    Stanley added an interesting wrinkle to the question. Should there be a chronological sequencing to the releases to walk someone backward?

    • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

      I think its better to start at the beginning of stories, but if you’d like to start your book in the last chapter, that’s fine i guess.

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      Definitely gotta start them off slow. I highly doubt your average metalhead skipped Maiden, Accept, Metallica, etc. and jumped straight to slam and grindcore. When my friend back in high school lended me his Suffocation ‘Pierced From Within’ CD (I had a Suffocation shirt, which I bought just for the artwork) , I had no idea of what to make of it until months later, since I was listening to mostly industrial (which I had to start slow with as well. I didn’t jump straight into Skinny Puppy and Yelworc), and I thought Maiden was as metal as it gets.

  • Use OBSCURA to evangelize a normie, W? I have to disagree. That’s an album that sounds like random noise to all but the most seasoned of listeners.

    • Dubs

      The headline is different than the question.

      • I guess that’s true in that it fits the ‘show off the diversity of the genre’ bill, but personally, that’s an album where I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and say “It’s pretty complex, you probably wouldn’t understand it.”

        what im trying to say is nespithe is better

        • Dubs

          It’s a good one to show how alien metal can sound.

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair
      • That shit is dense, yo.

  • I’d go with these because I want people to like what I like:

    Pig Destroyer – Dubs description suits this exercise
    Dillinger Escape Plan – Complete and utter chaos that functions as a cohesive musical unit. Also includes catchy melodies and good songwriting ability
    Nails – Because your life is not complete until you’ve been desecrated by buzzsaw guitar riffs
    Iron Monkey – Because your life is not complete until you’ve been desecrated by grimey sludge
    Cursed – Because your life is not complete until you’ve been descrated by dirty, crusty punk n’ roll hardcore

  • Fester B. Gone

    Pissgrave – Suicide Euphoria
    Nocturnus – The Key
    Darkthrone A Blaze in the Northern Sky
    King Diamond – Them
    Bathory -Bathory

    • Dubs

      I like it. You’ve got variations in production, melody, technicality, etc.

    • “My Weapons Sighted – My Tears they Tasted
      Summon my Warriors – To the Land of Desire
      To the Domain of Hate – Where Cold Winds Blew
      For Lust for Hell – We Rode with the North Wind”

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Nocturnus is actually surprisingly effective.

      • Dubs

        That’s one of the bands I like to always mention when people start raving about some new band injecting technicality into OSDM. Nocturnus did it first a long time ago.

  • Or you could just show them all the different variations of Disturbed songs /s

  • Noble Beast
    Vale of Pnath
    Tsjuder
    Bettween The Buried and Me’s new album
    The Drip

  • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

    Ellie Goulding >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Pantera.

    • Dubs

      The point of the question was to show the diversity of metal.

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        Duly noted.

  • Personally, I would have never divulged what type of music I listen too. I feel like it is just much easier to “punt” and not bring it up. Explaining music to people blows.

    I am not sure why I am being so pessimistic over the topic.

    • If people ask me what I listen to, I tell them. It’s when they start saying stuff like “oh, so you like screamo” that I just say no and walk away.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Agreed.

    • Dubs

      I don’t bring it up either, usually, but in this situation, you’re wearing a battle jacket with metal patches rather than a comfortable and stylish pea coat.

      • Lol pea coat. Remember my rant on pea coats? I am a Charhartt guy.

        Asides from my ToH shirt… the only metal merch I have is a Gojira shirt, In Flames shirt, and a Van Halen shirt. I do not get much into merch.

        • Dubs

          That’s why I mentioned it 😉

          And honestly, I don’t wear metal merch often either.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I haven’t got much other merch than T’s (‘cept an unfinished vest, a hat and a longsleeve), but I pretty much wear one every day.

          • I still think they look lolbuttz. *winkwink*

        • Real In Flames or Siren Charms Flames?

          • You will surely not get a rise out of me over the topic, lol. I like all of their material. Old and new.

          • Just kidding, mate. We have that discussion a lot last year, we need to find another band to continue the tradition.

        • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

          I have a few of those actually (had to google it to see what it was)! I always just called them dress jackets. For a minute, I thought you were referring to petty coats (I have my dad’s petty coat, which gets a lot of use nowadays. 30 years later and it still holds up like a motherfucker).

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    1. Pissgrave- Suicide Euphoria
    2. Pissgrave- Suicide Euphoria
    3. Pissgrave- Suicide Euphoria
    4. Pissgrave- Suicide Euphoria
    5. Pissgrave- Suicide Euphoria
    Chances are they’re just gonna say “what’s all that screaming shit bro” anyway, so what’s the point in trying?

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      “Why does he sound so mad?”

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        “It sounds like rain on a tin roof”

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          “Why do they always have to scream, you can’t understand what they’re saying.”

          • “All the songs sound the same.”

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            “Why are YOU so angry all the time?”

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            “cut your hair, you look like a girl”

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            “Why do you wear so much black?”
            *wearing blue jeans and a black shirt

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            “Why is your guitar so pointy?”

          • my buddies mom always complained that the cymbal’s always bothered her lol.

            “THE CYMBALS ARE TOO NOISY”

          • “Maybe try and play something not as fast Tyree.”

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            My grandma is quite fond of I am the Black Wizards.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Wonder what their reaction to the demo artwork (the one with the guy who hung himself) would be.

            “Haha, that fucking pussy probably listened to Justin Bieber, bro!”

        • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

          “Why is that bathtub filled with chocolate pudding?”

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            I honestly tried to tell myself that it was just a bathtub full of curry sauce with a lamb bone in it at first.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Kinda of a peanut satay sorta thing, with a turkey leg stuck in there.

  • The_Dude

    1.Black Sabbath – S/T shows the birth of heavy metal along with the birth of Doom.
    2.Slayer – Reign In Blood an album that shows speed and thrash metal ( at least I think it does) also shows the use of satanic imagery and lyrical themes (lets be honest thats a little important)
    3.Napalm Death – From Enslavement To Obliteration shows the influence of punk, short songs and when metal was trying new things
    4.Death – Symbolic shows classic death metal but also shows progressive and technical elements
    5 Darkthrone – A Blaze In The Northern Sky black metal in its most raw state also shows BMs atmospheric elements and darkness

    Probably not the best picks but its what I would give for only being able to pick 5. If it was 6 I would definitely throw a Maiden album in there to show off metal with strong guitar leads and also as a birth for power metal.

    • Dubs

      I dig this list. Thanks for the explanations too.

    • The_Dude!

      GL

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    On the semi-reals

    Borknagar – Epic (Prog/black/folk/great basswork/growls/cleans/tremendous songwriting)

    Iron Maiden – Number (Or Seventh) (What was said above, SSoTSS just has longer songs – and proggier)

    De Lirium’s Order – Veniversum (technicality, but not without melody – more so than pretty much any other tech band)

    Cult of Luna – Vertikal (slow, doom-like pace. Another kind of complexity, emotional, long-term growth)

    Foo Fighters – Foo Fighters (self explanatory)

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Oh shit, you mentioned God in your list. Hail Grohl!

    • Dubs

      2 notes: Borknagar is a good choice. I actually had that CoL album in my original draft of this post but swapped it for Agalloch.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        With Borknagar on the list, I figure something like CoL would give a wider additional perspective than Agalloch. Which is not a bad choice either.

    • Waynecro

      I’d probably go with Borknagar’s Quintessence because “The Presence Is Ominous” and “Colossus.”

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        And slide a little Arcturus in there as well. And ICS Vortex’s solo album to top it all off.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        It’s a very good album, but Epic is a bit more diverse and has more amazing bass – especially the latter of which aren’t too common in metal and therefore I wanted to showcase them.

        • Waynecro

          Valid points. I just really, really love Quintessence.

  • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

    Angra – Temple Of Shadows
    Hellcannon – Infected With Violence
    InfantMetal – S/T (just to see his reaction)
    Krisiun – Ageless Venomous
    Orphaned Land – any CD (again to see his reaction. More likely than no, this bro sounds like a Bundy Rancher)

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Ageless, really? That production is total shit.

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        I like the raw production, actually, especially when it comes to the drums.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Ok, you lost me.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Not their best album, IMO, but a good intro to them. That’s where I started with them.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I started with Conquerors.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Damn good pick! They don’t have any bad albums, so can’t really go wrong. Wondering if you ever heard Hellcannon.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42ipqFF8S9Q&list=PL99DA859CDF7F4D4D&index=6

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            This is pretty killer! Speaking of Krisiun, you ever check out
            Rebaelliun?
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0whAt0uburk

          • Does this recommendation come the secret vault of things KSoFM likes?

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I never kiss and tell…..

          • whoa nelly, 5 seconds in i was hooked

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Holy shit, this is sick as fuck!

          • Damn, it’s been awhile since I listened to this. Or any new thrash.

          • Waynecro

            “Soul Devourer” is probably still my favorite Krisiun song.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Mine’s ‘Suicidal Savagery’.

          • Black Force Domain!

      • This is a first.

        • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

          A first on not liking the lo-fi production? Or the opposite? To me, Krisiun’s drumming’s always had a very organic and raw feel to it, and the production on that one definitely let the drums take center stage.

          • THAT KICK DRUM RUINS THE ALBUM.

  • i know this isn’t going to be popular among many a commenter here, but one of the albums HAS to be by Animals as Leaders. just about every soul i know who won’t give metal a chance, can listen to AAL (and most even like it). it helps to show a person that metal doesn’t have to be angry and screamy, that the musicians really do know their stuff, and that other elements like jazz can be included.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      NO.

      “Musician’s only” -metal<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

      • Doesn’t rule out like, all of jazz as well?

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Not really, “Musician’s only” to me means more like something that seems to be music made to be enjoyed primarily by musicians. There are hundreds of thousands of Jazz records that I don’t feel fit this description.

          • I don’t feel like AAL fits that description either.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            To me, they’re the perfect fit. Hard to put a finger on a definite why, but that’s how they came off to me from the firs second.

          • Dubs

            I know a number of guitarists who think they’re tops.

          • For what it’s worth, when I saw them at a big party venue in Orlando, there had a huge, diverse crowd and they had the staff transfixed by like, halfway through.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I know tons of musicians who love them, but I know more non-musicians who do. They’ve got something that appeals to a more mainstream audience, so while I think they have the potential to be a musician only music, they’ve managed to keep themselves fairly popular outside of that nerdy circle.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I think it’s more of a description of a certain type of (mostly) instrumental music these day than a literal expression.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Morphine definitely wasn’t musicians only kind of jazz.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Metal does have to be angry and screamy though

      • if you start with something angry you’re going to lose a potential metal listener for a very long time. you and i know that angry and screamy is fine and good, but not the casual pleb

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Nah man, just throw them the most extreme and kvlt stuff. If they can’t handle it they’re WEAK.

      • Maiden and Priest were posers.

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        And sweaty. If it doesn’t smell like egg drop soup and smegma, it’s not metal.

        • Waynecro

          That’s the grossest thing I’ve read all day. Kudos to you, sir.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Thanks! *takes a bow*

            Even grosser:

            http://www.hothousestudios.com/podcasts/takethecrown/Take%20the%20Crown%202.jpg

            Oh so punchable.

          • Waynecro

            Yep. Definitely grosser.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            That ain’t even the grossest thing he has said.

          • Waynecro

            You’re absolutely right. The guy’s a filth cannon (in the best kind of way). Something about that description just got to me, though.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Oh, it’ll hit you next time you get Chinese take out and you look at the soup!

          • Waynecro

            Sweet and Sour >>>>>>>>>>>> Egg drop

          • Fortunately I prefer Thai.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            I prefer Japanese over both, but love all sorts of Asian cooking. Mongolian BBQ’s really good too, but haven’t seen a place that cooks it since 2003, when Mongol Cafe in Wrigleyville closed.

          • I’m sure there’s some place in my area that does Mongolian BBQ.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Goddamn Mongorians broke my schitty wall!

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair
          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Not by a long shot!
            What’d be the grossest thing you remember me saying?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Definitely the time you said you like anime.

          • REKT

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Mwahaha, look one up and behold the rektage!

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            At least I haven’t appeared in an anime. You on the other hand………..

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          L’eau de metal; the scent of ballsweat and cheap beer.

          • And leather, can’t forget that.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross
          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            And unwashed high tops left over from the 80’s.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            And the one pair of jeans you own.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            And the underwear worn during Diamond Head’s first tour, unchanged of course, because memories and stuff.

    • Waynecro

      I have to agree with you there. Even my dad, who hates everything that isn’t Jeff Beck, got into Animals as Leaders a little bit.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Tell your dad he’s a normie scum.

        • Waynecro

          Shit, I should have put that in the card for his 70th birthday.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      AAL <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

      • Scrimm

        This is the correct response

        • i couldn’t think of four other albums on the spot, but you becherass Iron Maiden’s on that list

          • Scrimm

            I was agreeing with Tapir.

          • oh i know. but i thought the prospect of Maiden would reel you back… or at least bring me up to 0 on the Scrimmeter!

          • Scrimm

            This time, but only I’m grieving. Don’t have the energy to be mean

          • i wasn’t quite sure you were being serious. you ok?

  • 1)a boot to the head
    2)a boot to the head
    3)another boot to the head for Jenny and the wimp!

    and so on.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    I dont think its advisable to try and convert a normie. Theyre normies for a reason

  • Mastodon – Blood Mountain (Ambitious, great songs pulling from a wide range of influences, clean and harsh vocals, and a palpable sense of adventure)

    Gojira – The Way of All Flesh (Crushing, yet thoughtful and nuanced)

    Kreator – Pleasure to Kill (unbridled aggression in one of its purest, most potent manifestations)

    Nile – Annihilation of the Wicked (damn near peerless technicality married with memorable songwriting and an ability to transport you to another time and place)

    Judas Priest – Painkiller (the realest album ever recorded, WINGS, OF, STEEL, PAINKILLER *WAIL*)

    • Dubs

      Interesting choices here. I dig!

      • Grazie, Dubs. It was fun trying to piece together a handful of releases to try and represent something of the depth and breadth of what metal can be.

        • Dubs

          Yep. I wouldn’t even claim the albums I listed are my favorite releases. It’s a fun thought experiment.

    • 4/5. would agree!

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      Good picks! I’d switch Way Of All Flesh for From Mars To Sirius, though. Both are good, but FMTS will always remain my fave Gojira CD.

      • From Mars To Sirius was my first Gojira album, and probably my favorite because of that, but I think The Way of all Flesh might be more impressive to an outsider.

        • Count_Breznak

          ’twas the album marking their degression. Possessed, Terra Incognita,The Link, and they were spent. Nothing more of interest to see here, move along.

  • sweetooth0

    1. Cannibal Corpse – Tomb of the Mutilated (Death Metal) – you kind of get a representation of both old school death metal and brutal death metal here
    2. Napalm Death – FETO (Grind) – grindcore in it’s purest form
    3. Iron Maiden – Number of the Beast (NWOBHM) – you gotta have Maiden, I consider them highly representational of the traditional and power metal styles
    4. Electric Wizard – Come My Fanatics (Doom) – good representation of the classic Sabbath style meets the modern ultra distorted stoner/sludge style
    5. Slayer – Reign in Blood (Thrash) – thrash metal distilled here
    6. Darkthrone – Transilvanian Hunger – both a classic of the 2nd wave from Norway, and a good representation of the harsher lo-fi side of black metal

    5 isn’t enough to cover off the main metal genres. I’d say Carcass Symphonies of Sickness should be there to cover off goregrind too, but many would probably not consider that a “main” sub-genre of metal.

    • Dubs

      Good list! By the way, I’m reading Choosing Death. If you haven’t, you should.

      • sweetooth0

        yeah I wanted to snag one at MDF last year, but my money was running slim when I saw it. Maybe they’ll have it there again this year.

    • cannibal corpse is a must, a true staple of merol

      • sweetooth0

        Agreed, for some reason metalheads don’t seem to have a lot of respect for them these days, but Cannibal Corpse is truly one of the greats. Even a sub-par CC album is still killer fucking death metal.

        • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

          I thought their newest offering was a very well put together metal album.

          • sweetooth0

            Yup, good stuff. Although I have to say the cover art was pretty disappointing.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            I thought it was pretty rad, just didnt have the CC vibe to it. Not enough blood..

          • sweetooth0

            Yeah. Kill and Evisceration Plague were kinda lame for that reason too. Torture was killer though.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Ha, you push a hard bargain.

          • sweetooth0

            Nothin beats the art on the first three. Some killer stuff came after for sure, but those ones are iconic.

          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Definitely some of the best and most iconic album covers of all time.

  • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

    Recall the moment you’ve had this encounter, and we’ve all had it………..

    “So, what kind of music do you like?”
    “Oh, I listen to everything”, as they start belting out top 10 shit, mostly stuff from the early 00’s. “I like Creed, Nickelback, Slipknot, Sheryl Crow, Kid Rock, ICP, Hinder…..”

    At that point, I know the date and/or conversation is over!

  • COAL ROLL

    I would not show him anything.
    There is no de-poserizing someone who drives a 2wd F150 with a lift

  • BobLoblaw

    Anecdotal but Wintersun, At the Gates, Dark funeral (surprisingly), Ne Obliviscaris and Ihsahn have always had a good track record with me as far as showing people more extreme stuff.

  • Max

    W’s list is a perfectly sound representation of metal’s diversity. The trouble is, I don’t think that’s what most newcomers are looking for anyway. In real life, whenever I’ve tried a similar sort of best-of-all-worlds-type curation for somebody who doesn’t yet listen to metal (or does, but hasn’t yet gotten into extreme metal, or underground stuff or whatever) it usually backfires – because there’s always one CD out of the half-dozen or so I lend them that they’re particularly taken with to the exclusion of all the others. So trying to “broaden” their taste has the perverse effect of narrowing it.

    Looking back, that’s one of the reasons I’ve always seen At The Gates’s Slaughter of the Soul as a mixed blessing. Having turned several people onto it over the years, I’ve come to learn it’s a dangerous record really, because it has all the heaviness and musicianship we love in metal, but expressed with a real melodic accessibility and economy of composition. I can’t think of another legitimate extreme metal record which falls so completely into the assessment of “easy listening” – at least for an entry-level Metallicat or somebody similar.

    Knowing that this is the sort of thing they can have, such people usually end up adverse to checking out something with the same heaviness and musicianship but is a compositionally more-demanding listen, like say Cannibal Corpse. Why bother when you’ve already found something so heavy yet so accessible?

    There’s always the question of what might have happened if you’d given them Cannibal Corpse before At The Gates. That approach can sometimes work. But note the sequential process, rather than the “Top 5 of All Metal Has to Offer, All at Once” approach. Most normcore folk really can’t handle that much in one go anyway – we metalheads forget how dense and demanding the music is for people unacclimatized to it. If you ply somebody with five records at once, you can guarantee they’re not going to give all of them the same attention, let alone find favour with even most of them.

    • Dubs

      I honestly think I’ve had more success giving normies single albums to check out than whole playlists.

    • I would imagine people taken with Slaughter of the Soul would at least be partial to Heartwork as well.

      • Max

        Yes, I was tempted to use Heartwork as another example. My own brother, who despised all heavy metal at that time, quite liked Heartwork. But to this day he barely listens to any other metal at all – not even any other Carcass apart from Surgical Steel.

        • Dubs

          I think The Black Album fits this role as well. I’ve mentioned before that my brother got me into metal, but in reality, he isn’t a metalhead. He mostly just likes Metallica, especially the self-titled. It’s got an almost absurd balance of mass appeal and heaviness (in its own way), and I imagine most non-metalheads wouldn’t really want much more.

          • Max

            More recently, Opeth seems to be another band that many people get into without discovering extreme metal any much further.

  • Count_Breznak

    Bro, Im not the defender of metal, ask the guy in the Kutte over there. If you want some fucked up shit tho, I can hook you up….

  • Eliza

    Your picks are amazing!

    • Dubs

      Thanks, Eliza!

  • Óðinn

    I dunno. I always play Primitive Man really loud at office parties but nobody seems to really enjoy it except me. I give up. 😉