Wake Up and SLAM to New EPICARDIECTOMY

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How is your morning so far? Lacking in guttural slamming brutality? Let’s fix that. Czech Republic wigger slam heroes Epicardiectomy have just released their first official music video. Watch their video for “Horrendous Festering Transmutations” below!

 

Standout items include: electric yellow Air Max 90s, the drummer’s grill being flashed roughly every 5 seconds, and CRUSHING SLAMS.

“Horrendous Festering Transmutations” is the first track from their upcoming second full-length album PUTRESEMINAL MORPHODYSPLASTIC VIRULENCY. You can preorder a variety of album packages here, including a siqq $135 deluxe pack. Please give me the sleeveless shirt if you end up ordering this.
Epicardiectomy

(Thanks to Call the Slambulance!)

 

 

  • Camo basketball shorts? These guys are truly next level

    • Paris Hilton

      I agree. The style and aesthetic is almost as advanced as Riff Raff. That can’t count though because Riff Raff truly operates on a whole other level that is unfathomable to us mere mortals.

  • crazytaco_12

    I like how the drummer only has a snare, bass drums, and then a billion fucking cymbals

    • Ace Ventura

      I’ll help him find the rest of his set… FOR I AM ACE VENTURA…

      PET DETECTIVE!

      • Paris Hilton

        You really are the most metal person here! I mean, you’ve seen Barnes era Cannibal Corpse AND danced on their stage!! Anyone who’s down with animal rights is down with me!

    • Tyree

      Lol, he has a bell/chime right in front of his snare. Also the diameter of that snare has to be only 9 or 10 inches, that’s fucking ridiculous.

  • Dem grillz tho

  • Mook Styfawker

    Is that cymbalist wearing fucking grills?

    • Mook Styfawker

      AND WHY DOES IT KEEP SHOWING HIM JUST DOING THE GRILLS GRIN OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

      • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

        I don’t think he can close his mouth.
        Either that or they just cost so much he can’t afford to not show them.

    • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

      Just noticed you said cymbalist and not drummer. +10000
      Would not flush.

  • YourLogicSucks

    The headbanging at the beginning is missing about three feet of hair to make any sense at all.

    • Mook Styfawker

      Plus it’s missing decent music to headbang to.

    • fancy seeing you here

      • YourLogicSucks

        I was resistant at first, but the article about the 6 year old’s cover of Frozen pushed me over the edge.

    • Gurp

      The best part is it’s all up in ponytails.

  • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

    Grillz + Camo Basketball shortz + Flat billed hatz and bandanaz. Their vocalist even has his ponytail pulled through the back of his hat. I’m not usually one for judging a band on appearances, but fuck, man.

    • I fucking hate rap, but this is all I could think of watching this. Blame my ex-gf. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fijggq5R6w

      • Xan
        • Call the Slambulance

          Whatever this is, I love it.

        • Call the Slambulance

          I LOVE SELLIN BLOOOWWW. AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

          • Xan

            I yell that every morning to let the world know that I have awoken from yet another slumber.

          • Call the Slambulance

            “Mornin’, neighbor!”
            “I LOVE SELLIN’ BLOOOWWW.”

      • W.

        Dudem there’s some great rap out there.

        • Idk sir. If you can find rap that I like, I will be beyond impressed, becasue i hate that genre with a passion.

  • Flushgod Apocalypse

    Paul Wall is stoked.

    • Guest

      Confirmed:

  • W.

    Great Godzilla vs. Barkley cover. Love this one too.
    http://s241.photobucket.com/user/EditorGuante/media/GodzillavsBarkley.jpg.html

  • Ace Ventura

    I’M SORRY…IS THERE SOMETHING IN MY TEETH?

    http://i.imgur.com/evRmIsa.jpg

    • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

      I’m sure this won’t ever get old.

      • Mr. Bojangles

        Your flaccid penis is old.

        This ace comment was actually related to this post, since the guy has something in his teeth.

        -Mr. Bojangles

        • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

          But it will outlive your puny cat life. GET FUCKED.
          xToiletxOvxHellx

          • Mr. Bojangles

            You think you’ll outlive my puny cat life. But I will enslave and kill the whole human race.

            -Mr. Bojangles

          • Hmmm now where did I put that vacuum…

          • Tyree

            There was a dead bird on my driveway this morning. Was this your doing? Be honest now.

          • Was it an owl?

          • Tyree

            It was not. It looked to be a mangled baby bird.

          • May have been dubya then.

          • Tyree

            Trve.

          • W.

            Guilty as all. Kill without discrimination.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t.

          • KJM

            They will serve you or die, My Master. Here’s some tuna.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            You will be rewarded for your loyal servitude.

          • The Satan ov Hell

            Be nice you two! Here is some black metal from iraq to sate you both https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMj2WSvwFyo

          • The Satan ov Hell
          • Mr. Bojangles

            Purrka Purrka, Mohammed Jicatnip

      • Ace Ventura

        LOSER!
        LAHOO!
        SAHER!

  • Mr. Bojangles

    I think grill metal shouldn’t be a thing. Be gone, vile band.

    -Mr. Bojangles

  • Jack Bauer….

    • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

      M Shadows!

      • Tyree

        Ace Ventura

        • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

          MATT DAMON

          • Tyree

            Lloyd Dobler

          • Ace Ventura

            ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE!

      • M Shadows

        yes?

        • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

          DID YOU BUY HAIL TO THE KING YET?

          • Ace Ventura

            DID YOU BUY ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE YET?

          • M Shadows

            JIM CARREY SUX!

          • Ace Ventura

            BUY HAIL TO THE KING!

          • M Shadows

            BUY VENGEANCE FA-wait…

          • Ace Ventura

            MATT HEAFY?

          • M Shadows

            PFFF I MADE IT! METALLICA HELPED! DID YOU?

          • BUY VENGEANCE FALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Mr. Bojangles

      MISTAH BOJANGLEZ!

    • Ace Ventura

      ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE!

  • Tyree

    So much Lol. That was just… Wow.

  • Ace Ventura
  • MoshOff

    (In a ridiculously thick non-descript European accent)

    Show me circle pit!!! Show me! Show me!
    Lets me see some hammers!!

  • TrickleDownTacoRiff

    I’m on board…more please! Saving lunch money foe delux pack!

  • Xan

    I’m going to be honest, this didn’t really do anything for me. I dislike that style of vocals. I’ll schedule of a lobotomy to see if this can be changed.

  • KJM

    DINSDALE!!?

  • Gorgasm

    “Czech Republic wigger slam heroes” Was curious about the use of wigger, now i understand after seeing the video.

    This isn’t for me. But i can’t stop laughing at that dude with the grill.

  • Poop Mango

    I can’t listen to this right now. How does the snare sound? Is it brutal enough? This is important.

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    That band name is a mouthful.

    • Howard Dean

      “Epp-eh-car-dee-eck-toe-mee”

  • UnamusedMusician

    But can he do this?

    • TrickleDownTacoRiff

      while on the double kick

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      My favorite bond villian, Richard kiel also had numerous appearances in the cult 60’s tv series the wild wild west. This series was the inspiration for the horrendous film with will smith and kevin kline. Don’t let the stench of that film scare you away from this series. It was about 2 government agents who had high tech gadgets. It has been called a major influence on steampunk culture. A must see.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        while i am at it , some conan lite pussy action – 2 babes from the bond film the Spy who Loved Me. Barbara Bach (mostly known for italian movies) & Caroline Munro ( dracula 72 ad, sinbad, maniac) woooo weeeeee ! vintage babes here !, ringo married Miss Bach in the 70’s, might have had something to to with him being a millionaire drummer from some band. They are still together.
        First pic is caroline.
        second is barbara

        • Max

          I knew a girl at high school who looked quite similar to Barbara Bach. Made out with her once, too.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            with that one act , you have lived a fuller life than I.

  • Gurp

    Wigger slam is my absolute favorite kind of trash.

    • Howard Dean

      I truly, non-ironically, genuinely enjoy slam. I admit it. It’s a guilty pleasure. There’s nothing quite like cranking the stereo and listening to a lineup of Cephalotripsy, Vulvectomy, Dehumanized, Kraanium, and any number of other dumbed-down, balls out wigger slam bands. I can’t help it.
      Bass drops, motherfucker! Byyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

      • Gurp

        I totally dig all those bands. It’s great embracing the inner caveman.

        • Howard Dean

          Byyyyyaaaaahh! Fuckin’ right!

  • Paris Hilton

    Ball is life! *Pushes Varg Vikerenes to the floor, hits a backboard shattering slam dunk, and has sex with his groce girlfriend*

  • Mother Shabubu III

    That is the tiniest snare drum I have ever seen.

  • JWG

    Too brutal for me in the morning. I must look up cat pictures on the Internet as an antidote.

    • JWG

  • Renan Ribeiro
  • When did Paul Wall start playing drums?

  • Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

    Riff Raff can blast pretty fast yo

  • Your mom listens to Emmure.

    Performance videos are normally boring. This one is the most boring yet.