TovH’s Best of 2014: JAG, YourLogicIsFlushed, Jack Bauer & MoshOff

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The Toilet ov Hell’s writers are running down their favorite releases of 2014. Today JAG, YourLogicIsFlushed, Jack Bauer, and MoshOff  are sharing their top 10 lists. Let’s publicly mock them together:


JAG

10. VainajaKadotetut
…crushing.

9. Pink Floyd The Endless River
…relaxing and ambient.

8. Allen / LandeThe Great Divide
…great vocals. Mostly decent songs.

7. Nidsang Into the Womb of Dissolving Flames
…thanks to Simon Phoenix for turning me on to this. I don’t have a lot of room in my current musical diet for this type of music so it has to really do something for me to make JAG’s cut.

6. SabatonHeroes
…it’s Sabaton. Who the hell doesn’t love Sabaton?

5. EvergreyHymns for the Broken
…took a few spins but the songs stayed with me. Classic Evergrey.

4. OpethPale Communion
…far more engaging and interesting to me than the death-vox Opeth. Also this is probably the best mix/mastered engineered album I’ve heard this year. (Wintersun’s Time I from 2012 also sounded glorious, from a production standpoint, to me.) Sick licks all over this album as well.

3. SanctuaryThe Year the Sun Died
Great album. No, it doesn’t sound like 1987’s Refuge Denied (and I had that cassette when it was current so STFU) but it’s far better than Into the Mirror Black was.

2. NightingaleRetribution (EU ’14 NA ’15)
It’s not White Darkness but it’s still awesome. Expect no less than amazing from Dan Swanö.

1. UnisonicThe Light of Dawn
The songwriting on this album is second to none. Michael Kiske and Kai Hansen have far out-Helloweened their old band. Greatest thing I’ve heard this year. Nightingale’s Retribution was a very close second.

Honorable mentions:

Iron ReaganThe Tyranny of Will
ThresholdFor the Journey
Primal FearDelivering the Black


YourLogicIsFlushed

In no particular order (besides alphabetical):

A Sense of GravityTravail – If you listen to one album on my list, please make it this one.

AgallochThe Serpent & the Sphere – Needs no explanation.

Black Crown InitiateThe Wreckage of Stars – The high points in the album are too high to ignore.

DestrageAre You Kidding Me? No. – Like a box of chocolates without coconut, fuck coconut.

Future IslandsSingles – I never thought I would put a synth-pop band in my top ten…

HakenRestoration EP – This shit just makes me happy.

Kayo DotCoffins on Io – Who doesn’t love 80’s future noir?

Lazer/WulfThe Beast of Left and Right – I don’t know how they do what they do.

Son of Aurelius Under a Western Sun – Along with A Sense of Gravity, they are making some of the best prog metal right now.

Thank You Scientist Maps of Non-Existent PlacesCoheed’s better evil twin.

Honorable mentions:

Allegaeon – Elements of the Infinite
Falls of Rauros – Believe in No Coming Shore
YOB – Clearing the Path to Ascend


Jack Bauer

10. Job for a Cowboy  Sun Eater: This is another case of dat bass. It’s also a case of a band completely reinvigorating their sound and doing a damn fine job of it. Check out the review I wrote for more.

9. Fallujah The Flesh Prevails: It took me a while to really enjoy this one as much as I do now, and I was still more biased toward Harvest Wombs for most of the year, but when this album finally clicks, it fucking clicks.

8. Revocation Deathless: These guys release great material on a regular basis. Usually said material is better than most other bands. So me saying that this is their best album yet says a lot more than it normally would.

7. Misery Index The Killing Gods: What can I say? This album is awesome. It has a kind of precise brutality to it that no other albums this year have. It never fails to get me banging my head.

6. Black Crown Initiate The Wreckage of Stars: This band is something special. They take elements from almost every genre of metal and twist them into something that is completely their own. This is one of those albums that wows me every time.

5. Beyond Creation Earthborn Evolution: The songs these dudes write are just incredible, and the bass; oh man, the bass! Eargasms for days!

4. Artificial Brain Labyrinth Constellation: This one came out of nowhere. No one expected it and yet here it is, one of the best skronky tech death albums in years.

3. Archspire The Lucid Collective: You guys all know how much I love this one, no explanation necessary. ARCHSPIRE!

2. AllegaeonElements of the Infinite: This album is just awesome. From the solos to the riffs. everything is spectacular. I love how Allegaeon has their own sound and they don’t try to sound like anyone else. They are fun as fuck live too!

1. Bloodshot Dawn Demons: This is just the perfect combination of technical death metal and melodeath. I gave Demons high praise in my review earlier this year.

Honorable Mentions:

NYN Eventuality
Destrage Are You Kidding Me No?
Aborted The Necrotic Manifesto


MoshOff

10. CrowbarSymmetry in Black: (Mixed by Josh Wilbur, Mastered by Zeuss) Further proof that riffmaster Kirk Windstein might just never run out of good ideas, Symmetry in Black is a textured slab of sludgy goodness that hits the spot exactly where it needs to. Sure, if you don’t like Crowbar this album is probably not going to change your mind (meaty, raspy vocals and southern fried guitars thoroughly permeate everything to be found here), but it’s a slight tweak of a formula that just works really well.

9. SoenTellurian: (Mixed by David Bottrill, Mastered by Adam Ayan) One of my two favorite Uruguayan Swedes, Martin Lopez, is back with a (not so violent) vengeance. This piece of proggy goodness has filled the Opeth shaped hole in my heart, unlike the outfit’s first effort,which relied a little too heavily on Tool worship. Not that there isn’t any of that going on this time around, but I think it’s better balanced. Excellent musicianship, great atmosphere andsongs that prove that melodic progressive metal can be interesting *coughthecontortionistcough*.

8. Every Time I DieFrom Parts Unknown: (Mixed by Kurt Ballou, Mastered by Alan Douches)For some reason I’d always put off checking out ETID, but when I was in the States this summer I heard a couple songs from From Parts Unknown on the radio and loved them. Boasting riffs that put most math, hardcore, thrash and sludge bands to shame, this album does its best to pummel the listener with relatively short songs that are constantly switching feel. Love Keith Buckley’s vocals or hate them, the man is a unique vocalist and frontman for sure. From Parts Unknown is a testament to the fact that Every Time I Die deserve a spot in the pantheon of metal as the rightful pioneers of “chaotic metalcore” (whatever that means).

7. RevocationDeathless: (Mixed by Zeuss, Mastered by Alan Douches) Revocation seem to be on a mission to release something every year, and you would think that Dave Davidson and Co. would start running out of ideas right about now. Instead, Revocation have released their finest effort since at least 2011’s Chaos of Forms (I’m of the opinion that last year’s Revocation was good but not amazing); Redundant Dave (TM) continues to write catchy, fun thrash and melt faces hand in hand with co-shredder Dan Gargiulo, and more melodic-ish vocals make for a good addition to their sound. Also, Phil Dubois needs to take something to calm down, damn. I don’t really mean that though, play faster!.

6. Steel PantherAll You Can Eat: (Mixed by Jay Ruston, Mastered by Paul Logus) This is an album about which I would say “This is a really good album with well written songs and really funny lyrics.” Steel Panther continue to top themselves with every release, and I love each one more than the last.

5. Epica – The Quantum Enigma: (Mixed by Jacob Hansen, Mastered by Darius Van Helfteren) If you would have told me a year ago that I’d be including a friggin’ Epica album in my top 10 for this year I would have told you to stop doing LSD and get out of the way because I’m watching TV, Greg. I don’t really remember why I decided to check this album out, but I’m really glad I did. Apparently the most recent trend in symphonic metal is aping djent, and both genres actually work extremely well together. Very major props to everyone involved in the recording/mixing of this album; balancing bass, guitars, drums, keys and vocals is hard enough, let alone a full-sized choir and string section, all of it perfectly audible at every moment (also the bass tone on this thing is just WOW). If you’ve ever been on the fence about symphonic type stuff, I strongly recommend checking this album out.

4. Killer Be Killed Killer Be Killed: (Mixed and Mastered by Josh Wilbur) When word came to town that Max Cavalera, Greg Puciato and Troy Sanders were starting a supergroup, I immediately thought “NO WAAAAAAAY,” and half a second later, “it probably won’t be that good.” Lo and behold, the result is a record better (in my opinion) than both this year’s Cavalera Conspiracy and Mastodon albums (but not better than the latest Dillinger Escape Plan because duh). This album is chock-full-of both catchy hooks and hardcore-ish mosh-inducing riffs. My only complaint (and the reason why this album isn’t higher on my list) is that I wish someone would have kept Max from singing as much as he did, but it’s still a really good album all in all.

3. SanctuaryThe Year the Sun Died: (Mixed and Mastered by Zeuss) When I heard that Sanctuary were releasing their first album in more than 20 years, I prepared myself to be thoroughly disappointed: Into the Mirror Black holds a very special place in my heart, as do several Nevermore albums. I was worried that a post-Nevermore Sanctuary record would be a half-assed blend of both bands that wouldn’t work, but boy was I wrong. The most important thing is that the music sounds distinctly Sanctuary-like, but slightly revamped and with updated production (not unlike Carcass’ last album). Sure, the songs are a bit slower and tuned lower, and Warrel Dane doesn’t sound exactly like he used to, but so what? Lenny Rutledge’s playing and riffing style hasn’t aged a day, and the essence of what made Sanctuary great is still present here in spades. Your move, Jeff Loomis.

2. GridlinkLonghena: (Mixed and Mastered by Kevin Antreassian) Because this album is so brief, I’m going to keep this short and sweet. If you thought you “knew” grindcore, think again. Food for thought: in a time when bands are tuning lower and lower, Gridlink have proven everyone wrong by playing higher and making one of the most interesting extreme metal albums of the year.

1. Misery IndexThe Killing Gods: (Mixed by Steve Wright, Mastered by Tony Eichler) In all honesty, this pick is kinda biased because I’m a big Misery Index fan. Nevertheless, I wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it is: catchier than the plague, really heavy, and technical in all the right places. MI have really stepped up their songwriting game this time around: the songs are more diverse than they ever were, and more importantly, they don’t feel like they’re put together at random (John Gallagher, start taking notes if for some reason you didn’t start 10 years ago). The amazing writing team that Mark Kloeppel and Jason Netherton make continues to produce some of the best lyrics (“In this dead tradition/Servility and guilt/Bind us all together/In this ever-present filth/Everything is art/And nothing ever dies/In this neo-fascist paradise”) and riffs in death metal. MAN, does this album has groove to make the dead move. If you think you don’t like anything that resembles a breakdown, I’d beg you to listen to The Killing Gods and reconsider. Also Adam Jarvis is probably of the same alien breed as Phil from Revocation, they should really sign up for yoga class together.

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  • MoshOff

    Short blurbs, they said. People say I should have been a poet instead of an engineer. (Sorry MasterLord. I will cleanse myself with fire).

    • Perform ten hail beers while clutching a necklace of poser intestine.

      • MoshOff

        YES MY LIEGE

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Honestly I thought mine were going to be 99% shorter than everyone else. I guess everyone in this post followed suit.

    • Simon PhoenixKing

      I assure you the blurbs on my list are longer than yours. One day I’ll learn to not write so long winded.

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        You and me both.

  • Edward #negrod4eva

    YES.

    Toilet Ov Hell Listmania >>>>>>>>>>

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      My list is the bestest.

    • Howard Dean

      All the lists are so different. It’s fun to see all the different things that people enjoy. The ToH’s collective tastes are truly all over the place and sometimes dissimilar, despite our focus falling under the umbrella of “metal.” Good stuff.

      P.S. I submitted my list this morning, Edward/NegroD. Byah!

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        I mentioned this recently, but it bears repeating. We all join forces and chat about our love for “heavy metal” but often we find that we aren’t even listening to many of the same records as our peers. The important part, though, it that we have still come together as a community to share our passion for the same thing!

        I can’t wait to see the HD 2014 Best Ofs.

        • Howard Dean

          Sneak peak (that’s really not much of a sneak peak): There is a lot of black and death metal on it.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            I’m frantically searching my office for a brown paper bag because I am so stunned, lol

          • VVorld Peace

            Mine ended up with a heavier emphasis on death metal than I expected. Also, if I hadn’t already set the list in stone, I probably would have included Swallowed in the top 10.

  • inb4 “omg archspire is only in third place?” comments

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      In the words of our pal Stockhausen, “u sukk olny metal is real get out lol u sukk”.

      • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

        Trver words have never been spoken *wipes tear*

        • Edward #negrod4eva

          I was hoping for moar br00tal elitists yesterday and that was his response. I think we should make it a thing like:

          *flush*

          poser hvkks

          #trill

          >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

          and all of our other things. All the things.

          • VVorld Peace

            In 2015, I’m requiring you to develop new things.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            Can we keep the old things, too?

          • OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE TRVE.

          • VVorld Peace

            No. Only new things allowed.

            btw, I saw a car with a “#trill” bumper sticker that had an M-16.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            That’s that bumper sticker I do like.

          • that reminds me of the G4Life stickers in the public transport. I always avoid those cars and I still don’t know why 😛

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            It will be our language, the language of the toilet. “Byah #trill so tech very hevy ye”. “ye Tech very, hevy >>>>>>>>>>> no *flush* sho very!”

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            Stay grind, byah!

          • We gather new words with each post lol

          • hobohips

      • lolbuttz

        lolbuttz.

    • you were two minutes behind the goat

      • Mcnulty are you drunk again? I posted before he did lol.

        • Death

          Is he ever not drunk?

        • JB pls. we all know i’m “working” until 5pm.
          maybe my Disqus is drunk?

          • VVorld Peace

            Maybe you should be doing less twerkin and more workin.

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        I had him in front of the goat… ?

      • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

        I wrote that in a comedic response to Mr Bauer.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

    Archspire only on 3rd!??!/ wtf jack, i thought u lliekd tech-death

  • KingPagliacciOvFlushMountain

    I was wondering if Pink Floyd would make anyone’s list. Not surprised to see it’s JAG’s.

    • I was really hoping for some butthurt. Or at least some ’77-style outrage from some punker-clone who still calls everyone hippies.

  • VVorld Peace

    Huzzah for the Sanctuary love.

    • CT-12

      Not trying to rain on the parade, but the album didn’t do it for me. Thought it was decent, but it just didn’t sound like Sanctuary to me, felt more like a Nevermore revamp then anything.

      • Well, I didn’t expect it to sound exactly like one of two albums from the eighties either 😉

      • VVorld Peace

        I’m totally okay with everything sounding like Nevermore forever 😉

      • MoshOff

        Dude, like I tried to say in my pick, the type of riffing and especially soloing sounds closer to the original Sanctuary than to Nevermore. This isn’t too far-fetched considering two very different guitarists were the main composers in each band.

        • CT-12

          Yeah man, it just wasn’t my thing, but I’m glad you dig it. Don’t even think it’s a horrible album, just didn’t live up to my expectations, but hey, different strokes man; maybe I’ll have to give ‘er a few more spins.

  • Dental_Damnation

    Sorry YourLogicisFlushed, A Sense of Gravity was a TraFAIL to my ears

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Nice to see Crowbar get a nod. Symmetry in Black is a fantastic album.

  • Death

    Dat Kayo Dot

    • Glolcamole Buttz

      Dat Kayo Dot man.

  • I simply love Toilet listmania.. First time I enter to a site with REALLY DIVERSE genres in the music picks and (with all the crazy jokes in the Disqus) we can still have fun commenting and recommending music. #StayToilet.

    My thumbs up:

    JAG: Opeth!
    YourLogicIsFlushed: I need to listen Son of Aurelius <3
    Jack Bauer: Fallujah!
    MoshOff: I still celebrate your Epica pick

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      #StayToilet is the most important one, we can Stay Grind, tech, void, black, Asian, doom, doomvoid, voiddoom, lolbuttz and all the others, but we must always stay toilet, without the toilet, where would we be?

      • #StayLatino #StayEuropean #StayAmerican #StayAussie we’re such a diverse bunch of brats

        We need people of Africa to come and tell us about their scene!!

        • You forgot #StayImaginary

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            In the vastness of the universe, the entirety of Earth is but a grain of sand. Barely anything, we move, we live, with our limited knowlegde. In the vastness of the universe, Earth is nothing. Both real and imaginary countries are nothing. We are all equals in the nothing.

          • /original

          • Glolcamole Buttz

            We are all one in the lolbuttz.

          • Yea but thats only for metaphysical anus

          • KJM

            Oh, you mean the loofah?

          • yea that guy, the one who doesnt like music.

          • Death

            Big talk coming from a mollusk.

          • Nah us mollusks are huge fans of oceancore

          • I want to make a Gojira whale reference so bad… but I do that almost everyday….

            I MUST BREAK THE CHAINS!

            GL

            http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/10-08-2014/JSrulI.gif

          • M Shadows! (Loofah Hunter Extr

            Did someone say loofah? where it at?

          • Death

            Hey! Fuck you!

          • KJM

            Aw, don’t be mad! Come snort some Dilaudid with me!

          • Death

            How about you snort this sodium cyanide

          • KJM

            Just don’t cut it with baby laxative and we’re good to go. Now, help me find a vein.

          • Death

            But Karhu is Finnish as well.

        • Death

          #StayImaginary

      • VVorld Peace

        Homeless, ossifying under the winter sun.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

        asian, upskirt, anal

      • lolbuttz

        lolbuttz

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Misery Index @ #1? FUCK YES!! Great call sir!

    • I knew that the creepy clown would come to praise Misery Index 😀

    • MoshOff

      Thank you, kind sir.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        The Calling Video is kick ass too….http://vimeo.com/98844566

        • tertius_decimus

          Why metal needs clips? Most of these are bland uninspiring shit which adds nothing to audial experience, except for concert videos.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Agreed, I am not a video fan BUT this is a kick ass video.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

            You mean when I listen to Mortician that clip from Hellraiser doesn’t make me boner?

          • tertius_decimus

            Since you have noticed Mortician, I guess you must be loving Human Centipede movie as well.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

            No, I dont love it. I tried to make one of my own and they all died.

        • Akercocke ov Steele

          Ok, I think I’m gonna get Misery Index now.

          • I am going to have to give this a listen. If the whole album is as good as this song, I will have to buy it. Why have I not listened to this till now???

            GL

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            I see a purchase in your future!!

          • that’s a great question, you’ve got a fantastic back catalogue to look into too!!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Amen brother..I just did that last week. Scooped up all the missing parts..

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            right? HOLY CRAP I say!!

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            It’s got ouch an old-school vibe.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            yes! very simple…but nasty as fuck.

      • CT-12

        Sick list man!

    • Ferris Mueller

      Whenever I start listening to Misery Index, I always finish by listening to Dying Fetus.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        I support dis now!

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    I plan to listen to at least one song from every AOTY mentioned on the toilet. My ears will bleed.

    • VVorld Peace

      I really like that idea.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Maybe I’ll make a Spotify playlist if I get bored. I have no idea how to share that but ill try

        • VVorld Peace

          We actually have a Spotify account. I was tossing around the idea of making a playlist with everything I can find from our writers lists. I’d be happy to pass it off to you. Let’s chat about it!

          • That’s just like you, Dubya. Handing your problems off to other people.

          • VVorld Peace

            The buck never stops here.

  • tertius_decimus

    I applaud to JAG’s second place and MoshOff’s first in their charts.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

    Okay, so If I were to send in my list to the Toilet ov hell e-mail adress with little blurbs about each album, would it get featured on here?

    • Sorry, goat. This is a privelege for TovH writers to help them forget how much we aren’t paying them.

      • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

        Hmm, that makes sense *starts crying in the corner*

      • Hey if I can get a few people introduced to a band that they end up loving in the long run, then that is compensation enough for me.

      • VVorld Peace

        I demand more chicken skinz for my services.

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        Thanks for the update, I have been going home after work each day and bothering the mailman about my ToH royalties check.

      • Simon PhoenixKing

        I take tacos (that are from carts and not that hellhole known as Taco Bell), and a endless supply of napalm as payment.

      • The Planck Epoch

        Beware, stare into the void, void stares back at you.

  • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

    I really like MoshOff’s list. ETID and Epica? You make me want to cheat on Karhu and Ann! Hmm…. maybe we can work something out

  • Simon PhoenixKing

    Ye welcome , JAG.

    There were a great many black metal releases this year, but that one stood out to me for being so outright menacing.

    These lists are so diverse though. It just proves two things. 1) We are such a great Mötley crew (pun intended), and 2) There was WAY TOO MUCH good stuff released this year.

  • Do you know what the best part of this site is? The diversity. Know what the number one album chosen by viewers over at the sitethatmustnotbenamed? Babymetal. Gross right? I give Axl a bit of credit, his list was fairly diverse. With that being said I would see how his taste might aline with a number of articles/bands that are featured here. I am sure he is jelly of the diversity….

    What a year Joe! Thanks for you, MSD, W, and all other contributors/moderators to this site!

    GL

    • VVorld Peace

      You’re welcome. We’re going to publish the results of our community choices some time soon. I promise #1 isn’t Babymetal.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

      Here, GL, you deserve dis:

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      I hate to say it but I glanced at a couple of their year end lists. I liked Dave Mustein’s, mostly because I think he is a decent writer and his list had some similarities to mine. I knew about or had heard almost of the albums on GK’s list to my own surprise.

    • CT-12

      To be fair, pretty sure that Babymetal thing was a trolling

      • Lacertilian

        but trolling a bunch of stoic Metallica-only fans isn’t much of an achievement.

  • The Planck Epoch

    #1) 0—>10^-43 = void

  • Scrimm

    My list is totally fucked.

    • VVorld Peace

      How so? Late entries?

      • Scrimm

        Yeah now I’m torn. I feel like I’m forgetting important things but I can’t argue with my ears.

        • VVorld Peace

          Yah. There was some stuff I wanted to add right at the end, but I decided to just go with what I had. Sorry, Swallowed.

          • Scrimm

            Yep, Swallowed was one I wanted to put on there and it’s badass, but It’s not quite there. Slow stuff almost never is for me.

          • VVorld Peace

            It’s definitely unnerving, though. It made @masterlordsteeldragon:disqus physically ill once.

          • Scrimm

            I posted something like that the night I bought it. we took it to our studio and blasted it through the recording monitors while… under the influence. DAMN.

        • Edward #negrod4eva
  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    JAG: when everybody said that PinkFloyd was boring and told me it was ambient I tjought I was gonna be the lonely guy loving it. The I heard it, and fell asleep. Allen/Lande and Evergrey were nice surprises for me this year, good to see them get love.
    YLIF: Coconuts rule, coconuts groove, coconut grove. How can ye not love them?
    JB: Not too much to say.
    MoshOff: Soen! Whoo! Also Steel Panther? Epica was a whole lot better than I imagined. And of course, Gridlink! Jah is good!

    • The Endless River is actually a good album to fall asleep to. Seriously.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I agree, though I think we mean different things by it. For these purposes (good music to sleep to) I utilize Burzum.

        • Once upon a time JAG could veg out to more abrasive music. Now it’s Geritol-time. In bed by nine and turn that shit down.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Meanwhile in an imaginary land: Karhu weeps for he listens mostly to filthy metal, but in his heart he knows he loves prog/ThinLizzy more. *why can’t I be kvlt with all the other kids* *tear*

          • Because you are honest, don’t take yourself so laughably seriously in relation to the art you appreciate, and are not a twat?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I’ll drink to that.
            (For realz, I’ve always thought the whole trve kvlt thingy is an oxymoron. Trve kvlt=aesthetic over music=poser?) Seriously though, it’s stunning hiw much I listen all kinds of filth with pleasure, yet could compose my EOTY witjlut including any of it.

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    lists These over are place the all!

    • HessianHunter

      *clap*

  • Moar lyke ToiletovCirclejerk amirite??

  • Stockhausen

    Great article, Masterlord.

  • Glolcamole Buttz

    Thanks JAG, for reminding me about that Unisonic album. I seriously dug that.

    These are some killer lists!! I know it’s been said already, but the diversity here just fillz my heart with lolbuttz <3

    • VVorld Peace

      Better than filling your butt with hearts.

      • Johnny Thrashn’Crunch

        lolhearts

  • Death

    Is that Pink Floyd album worth listening to?

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Not really no. It’s not even really an ambient version of Pink Floyd, it’s just the last of the recorded keys. And I wanted to like it. Though obviously JAG disagrees with me. So maybe it is. There’s just absolutely nothing happening on it. But maybe I’m wrong.

      • Death

        JAG liked Unisonic, so I can’t trust him. I may listen to it at one point. Maybe now, maybe later, maybe never.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          I guess you are safe, it’s not like you could die of boredom. Unless #DeathIsTheOnlyMortal

          • Death

            *you’re

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Edited it an aeon ago! Refresh!

          • Death

            I don’t care

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

            I respect this level of creepy. Also, plug your laptop in.

          • Death

            God dammit disqud, I deleted the picture!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

            Weirdo.

          • Death

            You’re mean, I don’t like you anymore!

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

            *shrugs*

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I am honored by YOU’RE need to take a screen cap in adoration of me.

          • Death

            I wasn’t supposed to post the screen cap. Disqus claimed that it was deleted, but it still came. FML

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            No need to be modest. Confess your love (to Teboil and get a discount)

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

            I’ve given up the idea of correcting grammar in here. I struggle every day.

        • Unisonic kicks ass, you ass!

          • Death

            I’ll have to disagree on that, m’lady *tips fedora and waddles away*

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            It was actually aurally very pleasing. ‘Twas a surprise to this ole’ young’un. I feel I might be surprised by too many things recently.

    • It really depends on what you’re expecting to get out of it. I’m pretty sure many here will find it “boring” at best.

  • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

    I didn’t notice the Coheed diss. MY JIMMIESSSSSSS

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      I am not saying Coheed is bad, just TYS is like a better version of them. So yeah…I guess it is a diss. Never mind.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

        Just like all the other blondes in my trunk.

  • Xan

    I like JAG’s list. I still need to listen to Pink Floyd’s and Opeth’s new album. I haven’t listened to much on Logic’s list other than Black Crown Initiate (hated it) and Agalloch (liked it). I listened to all of Jack’s list and pretty much enjoyed all but Black Crown Initiate. I’ve listened to about half of Mosh’s list and enjoyed most of it. I wasn’t a big fan of Killer Be Killed.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      This new Agalloch made me realize why I haven’t played them very much, even though I’ve liked them. I actually don’t like them that much, I only thought I did ’cause they were the kind of band I’m supposed to like.

      • Xan

        For me, it was a decent album but I felt like it was missing a little too much metal. I’m a fan of acoustic and ambient but it just kind of fell flat. I feel as if their last album was better.

        • BLVKKBEVRD’S FVTED VBDVCTEES

          Their last album being which? Faustian Echoes was amazing, and they will never be as awesome as Pale Folklore or The Mantle-era Agalloch (think about how long they’ve been at it). All that said, album is still in my top 10 because i’m a fanboi

          • Xan

            Last album being Marrow of the Spirit.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          The last one was where I jumped aboard. This is where I jump off. And I really want to like them, but I only spin the debut and Nidstång or whatsitcallednow anymore. I think I might as well give up on them now. They’ve nothing to offer me after all, the lying bastards.

        • marrow of the spirit >>>> / 10, would rocket

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    Also, will undertake a new quest. “Listen all Toilet EOTY featured albums”. Not sure qhen will I finish, ’cause I do have a life to live as well.

  • Jay’s list is complete and utter horse shit. Except for Vainaja and Opeth, of course.

    • uh… Nightingale is pretty good too

      Edit: … and Sabaton. Not nearly as good as Carolus Rex, but still fun as hell.
      Edit edit: … actually, I haven’t even listened to anything else on the list. I should probably get on that.

  • J.R.

    Evergrey, Agalloch, A Sense of Gravity, Black Crown Initiate, Son of Aurelius, Soen…

    You people are my people.

    Stay Toilet!!