TovH Exclusive – ‘The Producer Series’: Pt. 3 – Noise

Want to record that perfect take? Write the riff loop to crush all genitalia? Get that perfect drum tone? Need album direction ideas? Well today we have something extra special for all you aspiring musicians artists, the Producer Series. This exclusive to TovH will put you in touch with one of the leading names in metal production today, helping you get the edge over the endless stream of new bands/artists all seeking those sweet yet ever-dwindling record deal dollars. So far, we’ve tried to help you #StayTech and get down in the brown with trees n’ shit Atmospheric metal. Today, we’re going to get abrasive and delve into noise.

Once again, due to contractual obligations and other such legal restrictions imposed by those pesky record labels and other suit-wearing corporate scum, we’re not allowed to officially name the producer we’ve been in contact with. So for the purposes of this series, they’ll be referred to by their initials, B.S. I’m sure some of you more knowledgeable in the music industry have already worked out who it is, but for those who haven’t, let’s just say they’re a pretty big deal, having worked across a couple of decades, covered a plethora of sub-genres and collected ideas from all aspects of the music industry. What matters here for us though is that we’ve got exclusive access to their insights and tips on how to get noticed and achieve success through music art. So without further ado, I’ll hand it over to B.S to run you through the 5 most important tips to make your noise the harshest noise of all.



Let’s face it, your audience want to be challenged. They didn’t come to be won-over or invited into some kind of paltry or even enjoyable experience. They want noise; give it to them immediately. Make the moment they click play so jarring that they’ll never forget what they’ve done. This serves two purposes. The first being the obvious: stand out from the competition as quickly as possible. First impressions last, make yours count. Make it so obnoxiously loud at frequencies known to cause aural trauma in humans that it has the potential to permanently damage the hearing of the listener, leaving your noise to be the last noise they ever hear. The second benefit to making the recording immediately unlistenable being that the quicker you confront the listener, the quicker those who don’t like your sounds will push stop/break their headphones, leaving only those who truly appreciate your amazing art left. The chances of getting praise and positive reviews are increased exponentially using this method.



If you’ve set up your recording area correctly, it will have all the necessary elements needed to create your noise album. Ideally, it will be dark, cold and possess the kind of musty smell that will repel all visitors who could potentially interrupt the supremely intricate creation process. You need to be at one with your “instruments”. Everything you use for the recording should be within arms reach, you don’t want to have to get up and walk around, searching for what you need, only to sit back down and find the moment is gone. For this you’ll need an oversized powerboard. The fridge, toaster, fan, blender, microwaves (yes, you’ll need several), 33.6kb/s dial-up modem and any other instrument you use should all be plugged in and ready to go. Remember, if you’re finding the subtle humming of the fridge to have too much resemblance to a melody for instance, you can always add enough effects pedals to rival a Tour de France peloton and transform it into something so devoid of soul it would make the future of film himself, Michael Bay, reconsider using digital holograms instead of scriptwriters for Transformers 7.



There’s a damn good reason every noise artist has the experimental tag on their bandcamp page. You’ve gotta appear to be doing something unique and weird. Nobody wants to hear “orthodox” noise, that’s called music. The deranged types that will be listening to your noise want to both appear and feel like they’re on the cutting edge of sound. How else will they know that what they are listening to is abstract art without the all-important “experimental” tag? Even if you’re not part of the new-wave who are recording speaker-hiss through a bamboo shoot submerged in a viscous solution of cactus oil and swan bile, still tag it as experimental anyway. However, it doesn’t end there. Make sure you add the tag of at least one genre that doesn’t actually exist yet. Can’t think of one? Add “-core” to one that already exists but is somewhat defunct. Don’t glaze over this step; it is actually on-par with, if not more important than the sounds you record.



This one speaks for itself. Music itself is dead. Obsolete are the archaic concepts of melody and harmony. The confines of structure are redundant. Tradition, trite. Music is dead. In its place, art will reign. You may wonder how digital sounds could ever replace the soul of organic music. How can electronic noise even emulate the feeling of the blues, let alone supplant it completely. The answer lies in you, the artist. When you push enter on that killer loop you just created, sealing shut the ouroboros of sound that will be etched in history, the listener will feel tangibly connected to you and, most importantly, your art. That 4 minute ambient factory buzzing track that increases in volume by exactly 15% with each refrain will resonate within the listeners’ hearts and minds. That is because they, like you, know that THIS is art. The future is wide open, and you’re at the forefront. Don’t fret if the plebeian masses don’t “get it” yet. In 3 years time they’ll come around and will have the 17 releases you’ve created in that time to satiate their desire for your exquisite art.



As discussed in the previous point, traditional forms of music are dead. So why pander to them? Be straight-up to those luddites who cling to the shrivelling corpse of metal. Tell them they’re tame plebs, their taste is bland, their favourite albums are tedious, the genres dull and listless. In short, they’re banal beings unworthy of your artistic creations, lacking the intelligence needed to comprehend your complex designs or the cosmopolitan awareness of art to appreciate your minimalist expression pieces. They have failed, not you. Remember, if creating noise starts to make you feel like you’re one of the horde of bourgeois conformist fools, there’s always time to move into the realm of harsh noise, making sure that only you truly understand your art.

Previously in the Producer Series:
Tech Death
Atmospheric Metal

(Image via, viaviavia, via, via, via)

Written by:

Published on: February 10, 2016

Filled Under: Lolbuttz, Metal, Opinion

Views: 937

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  • Edward/Breegrodamus™


    On a serious note: it is interesting to see noise music / power electronics / whatever get more and more coverage on larger heavy metal publications. Yesterday, NCS presented a round up of power electronics albums, and have had a couple of posts recently about the subject. (Forgive my arrogance, but I swear some part of me believes I had something to do with that, I know NCS has read and used elements of my stuff in the past).

    Yesterday, Decibel Magazine premiered a noise album as well. Decibel Magazine!

    • Are we probably moving from a metal culture to a extreme music culture?

      Are we probably evolving to a different species in which we can be together at peace?

      Are we probably studying more what’s behind Breegrodamus?

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Well, I’ve long held the belief (since I am a big fan of much of what I am mentioning) that music tangentially related and on the fringe of heavy metal is good and related to metal in itself, even if it comes from a different place altogether (dark hardcore, fucked up noise rock, power electronics). I remember the first post of Stereogum’s The Black Market stating that
        even though it was a metal column, they would cover music like Swans,
        Converge, and Fucked Up… something to that effect. I think that is becoming more of an accepted view point if this trend I am speaking of is any indicator.



        • I agree my friend. To be honest, my stay in this community with some of you as individuals had make me reconsider my views on the called ‘culture’ that surrounds the metal genre, with each own clarified tastes.

          It also made me reevaluate why I like the music I like.

        • COAL GROHL

          Hidden Worlds>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

          • Shit dawg, I didn’t know you were down with Fucked Up.

          • COAL GROHL

            there are some punk bands I like, F/U being one of them. Also Doom

        • Dagon

          Not sure if this would be the view of the majority, but if we equate extremity with “hard to listen to” or “hard to enjoy”, I’d say noise is the logical conclusion of extreme music. So it all points toward that direction.

          • The keyword here is “hard”.

          • Dagon
          • Edward/Breegrodamus™

            I just think more and more metal media outlets are picking up on it and promoting it because even though (like stoner metal, deathcore, whatever) there are millions of subpar artists making it, there is quality to be had there, too.

          • Dagon

            I like to see genre borders getting increasingly blurrier.

  • Nice. Also on a serious note. As a drummer that plays an extreme metal style, I can say with out a doubt the worst part of being in the studio is trying to get that perfect take. Last Friday it took me six hours to record two songs that are each 4 minutes long. 3 bloody blisters later and a lot of screaming and throwing of drum sticks they are finally done, FINALLY! There is nothing more frustrating than playing drums in the studio.

  • Owlswald

    O.T.: This may be the first time I’ve been in an article before it had over 200 comments.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      O RLY? #oldjokes #owls

      • Who?

      • Owlswald

        YES. RLY. (clipped to

        • Owlswald

          Good god.. I suck at that obviously

        • YourLogicIsFlushed

          TOO MANY TAGS BRO!

          • Owlswald

            One day I’ll learn how to embed

    • Mayk Benynton

      Are you saying that you are FIRST?!

      • Owlswald

        Can’t win em all

        • Dubs

          Keep trying. You’re almost there.

          • Owlswald

            Hah. Fuck it.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Learning so much from this series, thank you sentient lizard.





  • Dubs

    Quality stuff. I think a true kvlt move would be to off yourself and sample the sounds in your final release.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      And every release prior to that one was only made accidentally.

    • RJA

      I believe that you CANNOT get any more kvlt than that!

      • I disagree. If one could resurrect Jon Nödtveidt, Euronymous, and Quorthon to create an album together… Then that would be the Kvltest.

  • IronLawnmower

    Thanks for the tips B.S. gonna use those on the new shitcunt release


    all those small appliances plugged into one circuit is asking for a blown breaker, or a fire in mom’s basement

    • Boss the Turbid Ross

      Make sure you hit record.

    • PxEx artists have to install higher-current breakers. rule #0

  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    Beginning to learn that in order to make it my band must DISMISS OTHER GENRES.

  • Dagon

    Man, if noise music was popular and lived by rule number 1, I would become a ear doctor.

  • Dagon

    This is the real harsh noise in my opinion. So fucking repetitive. My mind will never let this go.


      Reggeaton brasileño.


      Mc bin laden lol

      • Dagon

        You should really dive into the world of what Brazilians call “funk”. There’s a lot of children MCs too. Splendid lyrics.

        • Treebeard, Father of Fangorn

          Fish god, your world is strange to me.

          • But then again, you are very small.

          • Dagon

            And that’s just the tip. Wait till it enlarges…

          • Dubs

            Expands, even.


          So it’s not funk as most people know it?

          • Nope, is a kind of reggaeton mix with portuguese rhythms.

          • Dagon

            Nah, man. This shit ain’t got nothing on some George Clinton shit.

    • ha, he sampled the facebook message sound

  • Waynecro

    “Make the moment they click play so jarring that they’ll never forget what they’ve done.” Diamond-encrusted comedy gold.

    • Lacertilian

      Art is serious business, dude!

  • Steve Holt!


  • Prurient >>>>>>>>>>>>>>..