Toilet Radio NEVER Pays to Play

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Are you in a young band and just dying to make it big? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead in the tough game of show business? Do you mind annoying your friends and family? Do you wanna personally benefit some scumbag? Boy howdy, is this the episode for you. Joe, 365, and Brenocide get down and dirty in the cutthroat world of pay to play music. There’s nothing nice about this one. If you wanna hear the truth about pay to play scams and the hucksters that perpetuate them, you need to listen to this episode. We’re doing a deep dive into the economics of ticket pre-sales. Learn about how we each fell for pyramid schemes. Listen as we gleefully read the hateful messages we received from a shady promoter. Laugh as we go off on a tangent about Dan Snyder, Six Flags, and Art Monk. Get annoyed with Joe as he clearly cannot do basic math without a calculator. Folks, this episode isn’t just good, it’s essential.


Music featured on this program:
81% Burnt (Dillinger Escape Plan Cover) [youtube]

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  • Dubby Fresh

    Joe, what kind of calculator you trying to use?

    • A shitty dollar store calculator that lives on my desk

    • Howard Dean
      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        My dad has one of those. It is probably his most prized possession

        • Howard Dean

          Yeah, the devotees to the 12C are absolute maniacs.

          • Dumpster Lung

            For real?

          • Howard Dean

            Maniacs in the sense that they are intensely loyal to their calculator of choice and generally think other machines are inferior.

          • Dumpster Lung

            I just had no idea anybody gave a shit about calculators in general 😛

            I figured it’d all just be software-based aside from people in school who are required to have a limit on what they can use.

          • Howard Dean

            Bankers, traders, actuaries, and other finance professionals still use old school standalone calculators quite often. Nothing beats tossing everything into excel, but if you need to crunch something real quick and/or if you’re not near your desk, the calculator is still king.

  • Howard Dean

    Have an opinion on pay-to-play schemes? Click below to share it!*

    *First comment $4.99; additional comments $1.99/each. Comments also available for sale in blocks: 10 comments for $19.99; 20 comments for $36.99; 50 comments for $79.99; or unlock the ultimate package, one week of unlimited commenting for $99.99!

    • Dubby Fresh

      What will a season pass get me? How many DLC (downloadable comment) packs do you expect we can get?

      • Howard Dean

        Depends. If it’s the Gold Advantage® DLC pack, it’s 25. If it’s the Platinum Plus® DLC pack, it’s 50. If it’s the Silk Road Myrrh and Frankincense® DLC pack, you get as many as you can carry in this rickshaw.

    • I CANT AFFORD THIS WORDS I TYPED RIGHT HERE

  • PAY TO PLAY IS OKAY AS LONG AS HE/SHE HAS A GOOD EMPLOYER WITH BENEFITS AND UNION OR ARE WE TALKING ABOUT MUSIC HERE

  • Dubby Fresh

    Where these scammers need to go next is the mobile gaming pricing scheme. The trick is to incorporate different types of currency into your system. For example, bands can get paid if they acquire enough promotion tokens (which they can earn slowly by doing natural things like acquiring likes on Facebook), but the quick ticket to stardom is to use the ticket sale currency, which nets you faster upgrades and allows you to climb the festival roster more quickly.

    • Howard Dean

      This is genius. People are currently so hopped up on the cryptocurrency madness that they would think these promotion tokens are real currency. Give it an Initial Coin Offering at some point and get people to start speculating on it. Peg it against a basket of cryptos like BTC and Ethereum. Just encourage total Tulip Mania. And then sell the market out from under the poor bastards right before the festival starts, forcing them to pay in cash (effectively paying you twice). Boom!

      -This idea brought to you by George Soros

  • Vault Dweller

    I WANNA WATCH YOU SUCK HIS DIIIIIIIICK

    (99% sure I’m the only Emmure fan here. Fuck me up, fam?)

    • dingus

      fetal alcohol fucked you up bad enough already (I keed I keed)

      • Vault Dweller

        Real AF!

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Wrong. I’m an Emmure fan.

      • Vault Dweller

        This comforts me, like a crisp breeze in winter- the warmth and comraderie I feel is really something!

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          It shouldn’t

      • Dumpster Lung

        We all love you guys, we really do, but you do need to feel bad about this.

        Also, is Frankie cucking himself in those lyrics?

  • holy shit 81% Burnt is fucking incredible.

  • Jeff Manteiga

    Palladium is garbage, the sound system is *fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush*

    • KJM, Blood Farmer

      Worcester Palladium? I wouldn’t go there if it were the last venue on Earth, horrible sound & horrible people.

  • The Mighty Thorange

    Great episode yet again dudes! Fuck these pay to play schemes and fuck the promoters that do this shite.
    I do have the sudden urge to start an impromptu toga party and hijack a parade now though…