ToH Writers Best of 2K15: Guacamole, Link, and Spear

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In this collection of AOTY contenders, an alligator pear, a half-elf, and a shimmering polearm share their choices for best albums of the year. Mind the gap, because things are about to get wild.

Guacamole Jim

0e302ca80ed7d9f37f9c48a8b16e2f82-150x15010. Dead Letter Circus – Aesthesis | The End Recordings

Dead Letter Circus’ triumphant return to form after the more than disappointing The Catalyst Fire has stood the test of time. An emotive blend of thought-provoking rock and melancholic ambiance, Aesthesis takes the listener on an aural journey across landscapes barely lit in the fading of fall twilight to moments of glaring sun in the crispness of a spring morning. Energetic enough to headbang to, yet calm enough to put on late at night for quiet contemplation, Aesthesis has proved Dead Letter Circus was much more than just their debut album.


url9. Tigran Hamasayan Mockroot | Nonesuch

In a brilliant mix of middle eastern folk, jazz, and progressive rock, Mockroot stands out from the crowd of ho-hum jazz albums in startling uniqueness. Technical prowess serves as a vehicle for the varied stylings of Hamasyan’s piano work, but never detracts from the subtle beauty that is a staple of Mockroot. Complex rhythms, in a curious break from the norm, serve to give the songs a fluidity rarely found in music of similar difficulty. Instead of being music to dissect to understand, Mockroot is music that is first understood, then dissected.


url8. Steven Wilson – Hand. Cannot. Erase. | KSCOPE

As I previously stated in my review of this album, Steven Wilson has finally found his strength in balance. Moderating his self-indulgent progressive meanderings for a more polished pop sound has propelled this album above and beyond the rest of his mostly underwhelming solo career to the echelon of the greatest of his work with Porcupine Tree, all while retaining a truly separate voice. Moments of beauty and, in typical Wilson fashion, woeful melancholy play games of tag throughout the album, at one moment uplifting, at another, despondent, culminating in the sad — yet oddly satisfying  — “Happy Returns/Ascendant Here On…”


cover170x1707. Death GripsThe Powers That B Part 2: Jenny Death | Third Worlds, Harvest 

Death Grips went full aggressive, in stark contrast to The Powers That B Part 1 – Niggas on the Moon, and it was the best move they could have made. Jenny Death, the second record in The Powers That B, is an onslaught of pure, bestial aggression that only Death Grips could pull off. MC Ride screams and shouts through violent drums and weaving, grimy synths, orchestrating a tangible tapestry of carnal rage that, in combination with Niggas on the Moon, perfectly exemplifies the multifaceted nature of Death Grips’ existence. An exceptionally welcome addition to the Death Grips discography.


a0343879961_166. IZAHSistere | Nordvis

Criminally underappreciated by the Toilet, IZAH’s Sistere is a haunting and beautiful post-metal/doom album, a soundtrack to a tale all but forgotten, lingering on the fringes of memory, one of long journeys through woods shrouded in gloom, across foreboding mountain ranges, along endless gray seas, fraught with memory and with naught to guide but a name. Sistere is an album to be experienced, to be heard from start to finish on a cold and lonely day, to be lost in. It is a bleak cry into nothing, yet it is not the answer that matters, but rather the existence of the cry itself.


imgres5. Keep of Kalessin Epistemology | Indie Recordings

After a lengthy career with many excellent albums, Keep of Kalessin have finally produced their Magnum Opus, the album they’ve been trying to produce for some time. Epistemology is heavy, fast, blackened, and melodic – hitting all the Keep of Kalessin checkboxes, yet delivering something more than just another Reptilian or Armada. Losing vocalists is often a challenge for bands to overcome, but Keep of Kalessin has managed to both overcome the obstacle as well as thrive through it. As a nod to and an escalation of their previous work, Epistemology boasts massive talent and peculiar accessibility.


a3843967491_164. TempelThe Moon Lit Our Path | Prosthetic Records

On the Steps of the Temple, Tempel’s debut album, was such a strong offering I felt wary to listen to the band’s sophomore release, The Moon Lit Our Path for fear I’d be let down. But when the first track, “Carvings in the Door” was released, Tempel proved themselves as some of the best in the metal world. Dark and heavy, The Moon Lit Our Path continues on in Tempel’s established vein of writing music that sounds absolutely massive. As on their debut, the artwork perfectly matches the mood of the music: unsettling, gigantic, foreboding, rife with barely concealed energy. It writhes and broods with unsettled power, a force to behold in awe.


a3503474837_163. Those Darn GnomesThe Years | Independent

What words can describe an album of this caliber? At times ethereal, at others brutal, simultaneously intriguing and off-putting, The Years is one of the most challenging works of art I’ve experienced. While harsh noise I find relatively easy to understand (and as such, somewhat boring), the Gnomes don’t bother with music of such simple dimensions, opting instead to redefine the definition of music on their own terms, terms not easily accessible. However, in challenge there is the promise of reward, and The Years delivers that reward in full for those brave enough to delve into its depths. This is not an album I expect to win many fans, but it is an album I think people should hear.


a3885685112_162. KOMARAKOMARA | Hevhetia

A sonic force of incomprehensible depths, KOMARA’s debut is an industrial psychadelic trip into the mind of madness. Oft times groovy, dabbling in eerie spoken word, always engaging, KOMARA is an album without mercy, a revolting beast relentlessly dragging the listener down endless black hallways through a house bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. One can’t help, while listening to the album, imagining the beast on the cover art writhing and contorting to the otherworldliness that is KOMARA in a sinuous, jerking dance, twisting to the beat of a dream you can’t escape.


a3120853317_161. Morgan ÅgrenBATTERIE DELUXE | Independent

Eclectic and entirely unique, Ågren’s solo debut album is unlike anything I’ve ever heard. As a drummer, Ågren is acutely conscious of groove throughout the album, but is unafraid of incorporating varied and unusual instruments, sounds, effects, and samples throughout the album to create an unparalleled rhythmic and melodic soundscape. While not entirely dissimilar to his work with Mats/Morgan, BATTERIE DELUXE is clearly Ågren’s baby, eschewing most of the bubbly video-game-esque keyboards so common in Mats/Morgan for odder, darker grooves. Yet this album is not “dark,” except in rare moments where the music requires it, for above all, this album is a careful piece of music that never feels as though a sound has been misplaced.  From the first moment I heard it, this album solidified a place in my top ten for the year, and it’s only gotten more enjoyable through repeated listens.


Link Leonhart

cover ok copie10. AmorphisUnder the Red Cloud | Nuclear Blast Records (Review here)

I am very impressed and very happy that Amorphis could write this album. It is a mix of their entire career and still feels so fresh and full of colors. The multi-layered texturing added another twist to the simple structures, and it just increased my replays.

Favorite song: “Death of a King”.


cover9. A Sound of ThunderTales from the Deadside (Music Inspired by Shadowman) | Independent (Featured here)

The pack is back! North American traditional metal maniacs successfully crowd-funded their project, and they pulled together an amazing record with a pristine production, kick-ass songs and a cohesive narrative along the entire story of Jack Frost, the dark hero known as Shadowman.

Favorite song: “Tower of Souls”.


scorpions-return-to-forever-album8. ScorpionsReturn to Forever | Legacy Recordings

It is their 18th (!!!) studio album, a feature not many rock or metal artists have yet to accomplish. Compared to their last few records, this one is a more laid-back effort, but the melodies and compact song-writing are still well-made by these gentlemen. Thanks, Scorps.

Favorite song: “We Built This House”.


cover7. DolvenNavigating the Labyrinth | Independent (Featured here)

This is my nature folk pick of this year. Navigating the Labyrinth is a record that explores the careful note-per-note acoustic formula; they even dare to add some percussion with a distinct doom metal-ish feel. This is a very dark, yet alluring record.

Favorite song: “To Fly Free”.


folder6. ObsequiaeAria of Vernal Tombs | 20 Buck Spin

It is a crime that we did not discuss this record more in our community, so I rescued it from the shadows, took care of it and was rewarded with the medieval company of its vast instrumentation. With Aria of Vernal Tombs, Obsequiae developed a very unique sound that mixes ambient and folk with the black metal hypnotic abrasiveness.

Favorite song: “Pools of a Vernal Paradise”.


press_cover_015. Paradise LostThe Plague Within | Century Media Records (Review | Featured here)

A masterly class of how to infuse the death and doom into their overall aesthetic, returning to the primeval sound, once again. The vocals and the musicianship enhanced the experience and it feels like Paradise Lost is a refreshed band, inspired by the youthful angst in this modern world.

Favorite song: “Return to the Sun”.


Soilwork - The Ride Majestic (2015)4. SoilworkThe Ride Majestic | Nuclear Blast Records (Review)

These Swedes continue to amaze me with how great their stylistic change has been since The Living Infinite. In their past records, they made this mix of modern metal that tired me easily, but on this one, they finally hit the feelings with the Scandinavian feel and the progressive elements. It is such an enjoyable ride.

Favorite song: “Alight in the Aftermath”.


1426887384_36tkqqs[1]3. KatatoniaSanctitude | KScope (Featured here)

Katatonia made the hard leap of arranging acoustic renditions of their material. The songs breathe whispers of melancholy and inspire sentiments in a whole new level. If this is the next direction of the band, I am more than sold.

Favorite song: “The One You’re Looking For”.


cover2. Blind GuardianBeyond the Red Mirror | Nuclear Blast Records (Featured here)

At this point, the bards need no introduction. Despite the troubled production, what we have here is a grandiose record that does not shy away from experimenting with new sounds and a huge orchestra. Hansi Kürsch conducts once again the theatrics and it excels once again in his work.

Favorite song: “Prophecies”.


FOq27Zz1. ArmageddonCaptivity & Devourment | Listenable Records (Review | Interview):

A monument to the melodic death infused with hard rocking energies. Chris Amott made it again and with the aid of Sara Claudius. Together they’ve made an album with good musicianship and the face-melting narration of a space criminal.

Favorite song: “Equalizer”.


These are my honorable mentions. These are some records that I enjoyed too in different moods:

Dew-ScentedIntermination (Featured here; Interview)
Those Darn GnomesThe Years (Featured here)
Guardians of TimeRage and Fire (Featured here)

 


Spear

Trying to pare this list down to a paltry ten albums very nearly killed me. The sheer volume of metal that came out this year is  obscene, and a list of ten doesn’t even begin to cover how much of it was good. There are too many albums that I wasn’t able to give a proper listen and many more yet that I just didn’t have room for on this list. In the end, there’s just no way I can do justice to every band that deserves to be on these lists, but here we go:

Kardashev10. KardashevPeripety | Subliminal Groove Records

Kardashev took a turn for the awesome on Peripety. Their deathcore roots have been expunged from their sound, clearing the way for them to explore their atmospheric side. It’s a death metal album very much in the same vein as last year’s The Flesh Prevails, but Peripety gives even that a run for its money. Kardashev’s new path points them to a bright new future.


ancst-ast9. Ancst/AstSplit | Vendetta Records

Even with the plethora of amazing black metal releases this year (Panopticon, Misþyrming, Hæthen, and Mgła to name a few), this one stood out for the sheer pleasure it brings my ears. This is an absolutely winning combination of crust and black metal. From the triumphant opening of “Blame Chord” to the final crumbling notes of “f.s.,” Ancst and Ast are unrelenting. This is a split to be reckoned with.


gloryhammer

8. GloryhammerSpace 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards | Napalm Records

Realistically, this album probably would have made my list solely on the absurdity of its concept, but then it turned out the music was actually good. Like, really good. Gloryhammer have significantly upped their riff game on Space 1992, and the vocal melodies are incredibly infectious. Even months after my first listen (and several re-listens), I find these songs getting stuck in my head. Couple that with a story about space wizards and eagle-riding knights and you’ve got yourself a winner.


ambassador gun7. Ambassador GunTomb of Broken Sleep | Independent

I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered an album that has made me want to hurt people more. Tomb of Broken Sleep is a whirlwind of spite and rage, and even at about 25 minutes of pure headbanging goodness, it’ll break your neck if you’re not careful. Whether it’s the grinding fury of “Narcotic” or the sludgy groove of “Mighty Steed,” this is pure mosh material.


orakle6. OrakleEclats | Apathia Records

To be perfectly frank, I think that Orakle put out a better BTBAM album this year than BTBAM did. It’s not that they play exactly the same style, and Coma Ecliptic wasn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination (it very nearly made this list), but they occupy much of the same space musically, and Eclats outdoes Coma in almost every respect. They share a lot of the same kinds of off-the-wall moments and use similarly progressive song structures, but in the end, Orakle’s intensity won out for me over the laid-back approach BTBAM decided to take.


so hideous5. So HideousLaurestine | Prosthetic Records

I’m not sure there’s much I can say about this that W. didn’t already cover in his glowing review, but damn if this isn’t a gorgeous album. The band and the orchestra’s respective parts are interwoven on a level that few groups achieve. Of the experimental black metal pieces that have come out this year, Laurestine is easily my favorite. It’s a thrilling and moving experience that’s best consumed in a single sitting, and I recommend it to everyone.


alustrium4. AlustriumA Tunnel To Eden | Independent

A Tunnel To Eden is less of a collection of songs and more of a machine built with the sole purpose of crushing dicks. Alustrium’s pseudo-tech opus features some of the best guitar work all year, with riffs and solos that absolutely rip. Their approach to crafting songs is similar to Allegaeon; while it’s very technical music, the virtuosity takes a backseat to tasteful writing. It never tries to be lofty and never goes up its own ass, and it’s all the better for it.


judicator3. JudicatorAt the Expense of Humanity | Independent

Power metal albums rarely venture into territory as personal as Judicator’s At the Expense of Humanity, making it an instant standout for me. The death of a loved one, especially a sibling, is a very hard thing to handle. This experience is masterfully conveyed through powerful, pained vocals and lyrics. The guitars are equally emotive, carrying with them all the sorrow and rage of loss. Fortunately, for those of you just looking to bask in the music and enjoy some siqq riffs, the album holds up equally well without scrutinizing the lyrics. At the Expense of Humanity was an early contender for my AotY, and though it didn’t get the number one spot, it is very much worthy of that position. Don’t skip this one.


unleash the archers2. Unleash The ArchersTime Stands Still | Napalm Records

I try to stay away from labeling anything as “perfect.” Perfection is a very hard thing to define, especially when it comes to something as abstract as music. People will disagree with you, and rightly so; when it comes down to it, perfection is oftentimes subjective. With that being said, in my humble opinion, Time Stands Still is as goddamned close to perfect as you can get. Everything on this album clicks. Listen to that voice! Listen to those riffs! And that’s not even to speak of the variety on this album; each song is very distinct, from the rollicking “Tonight We Ride” to the vicious assault of “Crypt” to the fist-pumping anthem of “Time Stands Still.” I love everything about this album.


alkaloid1. AlkaloidThe Malkuth Grimoire | Independent

You know how I said I don’t like describing things as perfect? I’m doing it again: The Malkuth Grimoire is perfect. Alkaloid features some of my favorite musicians ever, and did they ever deliver. “Cthulhu” alone probably would have secured this album the number one spot, but every other track brings it just as hard. There’s so much going on here, so many layers that lock together in strange and beautiful and terrifying harmony, that it’s easy to get lost in the dense and foreboding mists of The Malkuth Grimoire. It’s a journey through alien landscapes that ponders the weird, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Honorable Mentions:

AbhorrentIntransigence | Willowtip Records
Ensiferum – One Man Army | Metal Blade Records
KronosArisen New Era | Unique Leader Records

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • Fucking love Conan

      • ┼yree

        I guess you missed the incredibly attractive woman next to him stroking her bite marks. That’s ok, I’m glad you prefer Conan instead.

        • I don’t see what the big deal with Aubrey Plaza is honestly. I don’t find her to be that attractive. Now the chick who plays maggie in the walking dead, GAWT DAMN

          • ┼yree
          • ┼yree

            To be honest, Aubrey Plaza’s personality and sense of humor plays a huge factor in why I find her so attractive. It’s not just the looks.

          • That’s fair, she does have a very fun personality. She just always has this look like she spent way too long in the tanning booth or something.

          • Vault Dweller

            Personality & humor>>>>>>>>>>>>

            There are lots of good looking people. It’s just that many of them are dumber than a box of rocks and roughly as entertaining.

          • Like every character in every CW show ever. I started watching the 100. It’s an interesting premise, but it’s filled with beautiful people who can’t act.

          • nbm02ss

            CW just hires models. Fuck acting ability.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Only CW show I’ve ever liked is Supernatural. And that should’ve ended after season 4.

          • hence Emma Stone, J-Law, etc.

          • Vault Dweller

            J Law is such a fun and desirable person that she inspired Chris Martin to make optimistic, happy-sounding Coldplay tracks. Weirdest shit ever.

          • Idk I’ve always suspected J-law is smarter than she lets on and the whole being ditzy and clumsy and what not is just a cover.

          • ┼yree
          • nice! Marriages’ Salome was definitely a winner this year too

          • ┼yree

            I finally got her solo album on vinyl. I still prefer that way more than Marriges.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3_WpBfsuFY

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Name sounds familiar………………. Kinda looks like Jenny Lewis.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Emma Stone is talented? When did this happen? She’s definitely one of the most one trick ponies in Hollywood when it comes to acting.

          • i can’t judge her talent. but she’s got the personality and the humor, in addition to the pretties.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            I’ll agree on that one. Acting wise, trust me, she’s about as linear as Zooey Deschanel. I’ll give Zooey credit though, she was halfway decent in 500 Days Of Summer.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Now Kat Dennings? There’s beauty and talent, considering she’s on one of the greatest ever shows on TV (2 Broke Girls)! How that show hasn’t won an Emmy yet is beyond me.

            http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/audrey/default/style-profile-kat-dennings-look–large-msg-134538748873.jpg

          • Dubs

            Apparently it did win an Emmy for Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            This fancy terminology confuses me. I must Google this……..

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Holy shitcakes, I thought you were joking! An Emmy for Best Comedy Series can’t be far behind!

          • Dubs

            I wouldn’t hold your breath on that.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            I know. It’ll take the world a while to catch up with a show that far ahead of it’s time.

          • ┼yree

            Are you being serious right now? This is a serious question.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Kinda. I love the show, but it’s pretty lowest common denominator. Which fits my sense of humor perfectly. I’m not exactly the Downtown Abbey type.

          • while “2 Broke Girls” can go flush itself, i am enamored with Ms. Dennings

          • Max

            My sentiments exactly. And I’m not one to usually care about breast size as long as they’re real, but her rack is utterly dominating.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            How can anyone NOT like that show?!?! It’s one of the classiest and funniest shows ever put to TV!

          • Waynecro

            I think the writing and jokes have gotten a bit stale. Max is poor, likes drugs, and has a shitty life; the blonde one misses being rich. We get it. Needs plot twists to make it spicy again. Maybe Sophie will become pregnant with the Antichrist or something.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Haven’t watched it in quite a while, actually. Only TV I’ve been watching is Breaking Bad (gotta finish up these DVDs I got from the library. I’m almost on season 4 and got the rest of the series to finish by next Monday), Gaki No Tsukai, and starting up on the Wire soon. Got the DVD’s for seasons 2 and 5, but waiting for season 1 from the library.

          • Waynecro

            I still watch the show from time to time (my ex used to like it). It has its moments, but mostly it makes the same jokes over and over again. I’ve been meaning to start Breaking Bad.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns
          • Waynecro

            Yeah, that’s what everyone tells me. I intend to watch it at some point. I was going to marathon the show with my ex, so the idea of watching it now kind of bums me out. Plus, I have a free month-long trial of Crunchyroll Premium that requires my attention.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Crunchy roll? You got a month-long supply of sushi?

          • Waynecro

            I wish! Although I can’t eat rice right now and really only like spicy tuna. Crunchyroll is an anime-streaming service. Lots of good shows on there, and some of the shit goes online a mere week after it airs in Japan.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            NICE!!!!!!! Lol, I dunno if I showed you before, but have you ever seen Gaki No Tsukai?

          • Waynecro

            I’ve never seen it, but I’ve read about it a little. One of the employees from my company’s Japanese office referenced it, I think.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns
          • Waynecro

            Dude, awesome. I would totally watch that.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            You’d love Takeshi’s Castle then (Extreme Elimination Challenge here in America). It’s basically what Wipeout ripped off. This is a playlist, btw.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V3NCNkLR8w&list=PLPG1LCG4FeZeaWVpHXNq4kkvXZv3dmQ59

          • Waynecro

            Thanks. Yeah, the original show is awesome. My pals used to come over and watch Extreme Elimination Challenge when it was on. We’d get so hammered.

          • Waynecro

            Have you seen the Takeshi Kitano movie Getting Any? Fucking hilarious.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            No, but saw the trailer for it.

          • Waynecro

            It’s one of the oddest things I’ve ever seen. I saw it with a buddy years ago, and we still laugh about the “MAMBO” scene on the airplane. Fucking absurd.

          • more beer

            It needs more ass to mouth. Then it would be worth watching.

          • Waynecro

            More bewbs. Definitely bewbs.

          • more beer

            Usually you get those with my suggestion.

          • Waynecro

            I know. You make good suggestions.

          • more beer

            Plus that would disgust a large segment of the American prime time audience. It’s a win win situation.

          • Waynecro

            I’m not one for butt stuff, but I’m very pro bewbs.

          • more beer

            I know I was just coming up with the foulest way possible to help that horrible show.

          • Waynecro

            Success!

          • more beer

            Hahaha!!!!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Or maybe a large, herbivorous mammal, similar in shape to a pig, with a short, prehensile snout could come and stab everyone?

          • Waynecro

            Well, there’s already a horse on the show, and the kids seem to like him. They’d probably like a stabby tapir too.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            A stabby nihilist misanthrope commie tapir.

          • Waynecro

            I can approve of everything but the commie. Better dead than red, bro.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Commie tapir does not approve.

          • Waynecro

            I’ve found that commie, nihilist, misanthropic critters seldom approve.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You are now on my To Stab list.

          • Waynecro

            How was I not already on that list? Commies always want to stab me. I’ve just got too much freedom and financial stability for their liking.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well you were on the list, but now you’re ON the list.

          • Waynecro

            I can accept this; however, I believe that in a slightly different world, we could have been casual allies. Or at least indifferent. I have no desire to stab you, but know this: I drink animal-blood-based protein powder, and it’s very expensive. I would not be opposed to acquiring protein-rich animal blood at no cost.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Are you threatening me?

          • Waynecro

            Of course not. I’m simply pointing out that you’re not the only misanthropic, stabby critter. The drive to attain nutrients can produce a bloodlust that pairs well with stabby misanthropy.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Come at me bro. You won’t survive Finland.

          • Waynecro

            If I had to buy an expensive plane ticket and fly all the way to Finland, the protein-rich blood wouldn’t be a bargain. I’m an opportunist, not a lunatic. Please, Tapir: I’ve survived much worse than Finland.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You haven’t seen Finland. You can’t see shit here! But I can. You have fucking seven axes on your back before you manage to get out of the airplane

          • Waynecro

            That’s fine. I’ve survived worse than axes in the back as well. And some critters don’t need to see to stab.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I’ll be telling the people that you are a muslim. The racist gangs will fuck you up.

          • Waynecro

            That’s a clever strategy, but I’ve survived gang attacks many times before–hell, I was surviving gang attacks when I was a kid. Unless you can do a lot worse than making my body dissolve its own organs, you’re out of luck.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well, it’s very very likely that I don’t have to do anything. As you step out of the plane and see Finland you’ll get depressed like so many before you have. You’ll hang around bars for a month, drinking constantly, until you find the strength inside to end your miserable life. You’ll rent a hotel room and be found dead inside the next day. Meanwhile I’m walking my dogs and wondering “why hasn’t Waynecro commented recently?”.

          • Waynecro

            If mere depression and alcohol abuse were enough to end me, I would have died nearly ten years ago. The only thing that rivals my physical strength is my mental strength. Besides, I hate sunny, warm environments. I’d probably less miserable in Finland than I am in Southern California.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You may have been depressed, but not Finland Depressed.

          • Waynecro

            I welcome the opportunity to get out of the Southern California sun and to test my mental fortitude and determination. Too bad plane tickets cost so much.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well what you would get in Finland is water, rain, rain, rain, racism, rain, dark, racism, nationalism, racism, rain, rain, racism and rain.

          • Waynecro

            I love rain and dark. I don’t like racism, but that shit’s everywhere.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Sure you love rain. After Finland, everyone hates rain. IT RAINS ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Also, we’ve got an extra scoop of racism. Like imagine if the KKK fucked with Nazis and had a baby. That’s most Finnish people,

          • Waynecro

            I have an umbrella with a katana handle, and I never get to use it because it never rains here. Going to Finland would enable me to use the umbrella. Win.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Fucking weeb!

          • Waynecro

            It was a gift from a former coworker, and I think it’s neat.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Kat Dennings: STACKED

          • ┼yree

            Christina Hendricks: ALSO STACKED

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            ‘Dem titties.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            2 Broke Girls is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.

          • Sexy Supreme Leader >> Trump

            They get that show in Finland?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Dunno if it’s still on, but it was at one point. Fucking horrible.

          • Sexy Supreme Leader >> Trump

            Fair enough. Are there any good Finnish shows with English subtitles you’d recommend?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You ask that question again. This is like the 19th fucking time. Goddammit man, do you have early dementia?

          • Sexy Supreme Leader >> Trump

            I remember asking about Finnish movies a few times. I don’t remember asking about shows.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            You fucking have. The answer is always the same. Get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
            Get your shit together.

          • Sexy Supreme Leader >> Trump

            I’m thinking there’s a theme to that whole rant, but I just can’t put my finger on it. Something about wanting to take a shit together.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Goddamn I hate those two.

          • well gee, am i the only human you don’t hate?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I don’t hate my mom.

          • ┼yree

            Those are the type of people that are chosen for reality TV shows.

          • more beer

            I saw a certain member of Cephalic Carnage. Trying to sell someone a ticket to Denver Black Sky. Who was already inside the show. To get on a reality show that will be about people being gullible. I did not buy the ticket from him. Because that would have put a dent in my more beer fund.

          • tigeraid

            Oooooh Maggie.

          • If they ever kill her off I will stop watching. Ok, I wont, but I will be furious

          • Vault Dweller

            All that said, I can support Mags too.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns
          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            I’d be so deep in both of them that King Arthur couldn’t pull me out. Just getting that out there and off my chest.

          • Dubs

            Take it back and keep it close to your chest and never let it out again.

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            ??

          • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

            Sure, baby, sure.

        • gotta side with you again, Aubrey is a gorgeous woman. her and Ann Perkins stepped up their game around season 4-5

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Aubrey Plaza: TovH Patron Saint

    • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

      Welp, time to me to hit the top bunk research center a little early……………….

      http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/357/860/4/S3578604/original.gif?v=1

  • That reminds me. I need to listen to Kardashev 80 more times.

    • Spear

      So good

  • Salvador Dalí Lama
  • Sir Tapir The Based

    Fuck, that Steven Wilson album was supposed to be 3 on me list
    But fuck you Jim, this ain’t his best solo album. Raven That Refused to Sing is his best, better than any PT album.

  • Dubs

    Very diverse tastes on display. Makes this joint beautiful.

  • Dubs
    • As a researcher I feel like you should know better than to mess around on the street at night, W. Shame on you.

      • Dubs

        My magical amulet protects me.

        • I never knew eggs held such magical powers.

        • Also, my play of word jokes are way funnier in person. I am so sorry, lol.

    • Stockhausen

      I really dug it too. Reminded me of Lux Occulta from last year.

      • Dubs

        You remind me of someone I think of quite fondly.

        Hint: it’s you <3

      • Guacamole Jim

        I fucken hated it

  • tigeraid

    Another point to Judicator, good stuff.

    I’m disturbed by Link’s lack of Power metal!

    • just listened to that Scorpions song, it’s pretty power!

    • Maik Beninton™

      Blind Guardian is there.

  • Reading these lists you find stuff that you skipped over and forgot about. Gotta check the Ambassador Gun or forever be a Dingus.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Alkaloid is finally on Spotify! Been waiting for that album to show up for months. Also digging that Obsequiae (despite the use of four vowels in a row), and basically all of guac’s list, as expected.

    • Lacertilian

      Using four vowels in a row is awesome. From the top of this sequoia I can see a Hawaiian in a queue at a waterpark, about to get rill aqueous.

  • 100% PURE BLACKBEARD

    I thot jim was gonna have some CO&CA on his list. and so, i am disappoint

    I also had no idea spear was one of us dragonfuckers.

    • Maik Beninton™

      He’s a wizard, you know.

    • Spear

      Power metal was my first love, bruh

      • 100% PURE BLACKBEARD

        *dragons

        Ftfy

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Coca was a big bummer.

      • 100% PURE BLACKBEARD

        It definitely wasnt their best

    • Guacamole Jim

      I actually had a blurb written up for them and for Town Portal – The Occident, and realized I had too many. I had to make a cut, but damn, they were close.

  • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

    Damn good picks, especially Obsequiae, So Hideous, and Judicator!

  • @disqus_77PBSiK8Ug:disqus with the Dead Letter Circus!

  • Dubs

    Still whack Death Grips took Exmilitary off the ‘Fy.

    • 100% PURE BLACKBEARD

      The only one i rly even like

      • Dubs

        I mean, I have it on my home comp, but Beware is their best track by far.

        • 100% PURE BLACKBEARD

          I like a couple tracks on jenny death but, as a whole, i find it hard to listen to

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Bummer.

  • Lacertilian

    Obsequiae made me happy Link. Glad to see it here.
    Pretty sure that Morgan Agren is still at the bottom of my bandcamp wishlist pile, have to dig it out.

  • RJA

    Good call on the Ancst / Ast split Spear. I enjoyed that one a bit and it’s definitely overlooked.

    • ┼yree

      The drumming on the Ancst side is incredible. Dude has some skills.

      • Spear

        The bassist on the Ast side is on a similar level. That’s probably my favorite part of that side.

        • Lacertilian

          I’m adding that to the list of stuff to revisit today.
          Thanks Spear!

  • JWEG

    Comic Anthology of the Year (though to be fair, I’ve only read two):

  • Gimme Kawaii Toast, Honey Buns

    Oh, and I let Tanagra know that they got an editor’s pick on here, and linked them to it. I was on their YT page, and figured to let them know since I was commenting anyway.

  • ┼yree

    Fallen Empire Records posted a new song by Death Fortress. Pretty killer so far.

    http://deathfortress.bandcamp.com/track/scourge-of-aeons?from=embed

  • Waynecro

    Great lists, my bros! Psyched to see Keep of Kalessin,
    Obsequiae, Soilwork, Armageddon, Ambassador Gun (so much lifting to this album),
    Orakle, So Hideous, Alustrium, Alkaloid (“Alter Magnitudes” fucking changed my
    life), Abhorrent, and Kronos.

  • Just got on this, excellent lists gentlemen!