TMP: Archspire, Immolation, Marduk, and More!

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It’s President’s Day, a strange holiday where I think you’re supposed to pour one out for our boy Washington. [Editor’s Note: Strong intro!]

Archspire is touring in March with Arkaik.

Archspire Arkaik


Ignorant death metal band Extremity released a new song, album out April 7.


You probably already heard the new Immolation song, but here it is anyway. Album comes out on Friday.


  • Mike Scheidt of YOB had a life-saving surgery and a Go Fund Me was launched to help with the medical bills. They achieved their goal amount pretty quickly.
  • If you’re interested in Ghost for some reason, here is a lot of new information about their new album and lineup.
  • A Marduk show in Oakland was canceled by the venue over fears of public safety. It’s a really weird scenario where none of the parties involved seem to be happy about this decision. No one is really accusing them of being racist, but I guess their use of questionable imagery has been seen as “glorifying” it to some.
  • Devin Townsend added a few US dates with Thank You Scientist.
  • Some seemingly legit news about Tool’s progress showed up.
  • Metalcore band Fit For a King had a lot of expensive gear stolen. People are shitty.
  • News is a little slow, so I figure it’s a good time to re-plug Earsplit’s Bands in Vans post. See who is playing in your area.
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  • Tool will one day eventually release an album and people will try to convince themselves that it’s good despite being 53 minutes of intros and interludes with three actual songs.

    • Ouch. But not far off the mark, methinks. I’d be fine with it if they just called it quits and we content ourselves with the rest of their catalog; it’d certainly be better than the incessant drama that’s been going on for a fucking decade.

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Happy president’s day, Mr. Poutine!

        • Hail to thee, Lord ov Dungeon! I hope you have the day off from work.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            HA! A worthy joke for this Monday morning.

          • Sigh. Yep, same here. Might request a long weekend in a few weeks; this sans-holiday stretch between New Years and Memorial Day is quite long.

      • Rain Poncho W.

        They aren’t releasing the album until they’re sure they can deliver something longer-winded and more self-indulgent than Peter Jackson.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Holee sheeit.

        • Eliza

          I could forgive that if they included one, just one, song in the style of Opiate/Undertow.

        • When their pile of money grows higher than Caradhras.

      • KyleJMcBride

        As far as I’m concerned, they’re done. I’ll believe it when I see it.

    • Eliza

      The only thing that I want from the new Tool album is it being good. Also, but not as strongly, it not being what you described.

    • Joaquin Stick

      Eh, I’ll take three songs at this point over the 12th Puscifer album since 10,000 days.

      • Puscifer must be methadone or something for Tool fans because the rest of us think it’s fuckin’ TRAYYYYSHHHH.

        • Joaquin Stick

          One of the albums is good. I don’t know who the hell is still excited about it though.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Conditions of My Parole was pretty rad.

          • Joaquin Stick

            Agreedamundo.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Glad we stand together on that. As for the rest, I’m with Joe. Hahaha

          • Rain Poncho W.
          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Huh, I didn’t know about this album.

          • Rain Poncho W.

            Puscifer is the Sequestered Keep of, uh, alt-butt rock.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Well how ’bout that!

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            It would be clever if it wasn’t for the fact that Jeff Walker from Carcass had already used “cuntry” instead of “country” in 2006

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1QFY-jSt60

          • CyberneticOrganism

            I once met a guy in a local band who went by the name Cuntry. That was a unique conversation.

          • GL

            Thanks for not elaborating lol

          • Rain Poncho W.

            I know. Maynard is way too old to be such a doofus.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            It’s like a decade old though.
            *sees MJK is 52*
            Yeah, he was much too old for it back then too.

          • Hubert

            I like that one!

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Mainly Maynard.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Is that his new side project?

          • Joaquin Stick

            /ded

          • Eliza

            I thought that’s what Puscifer is.

          • It’s his upcoming sitcom

        • Eliza

          As far as I’m concerned, Puscifer have only one really good, The Humbling River, and some ok ones.

        • KyleJMcBride

          I’m easily the biggest Tool fan that posts here and I think Puscifer suck. NEXT.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Eliza might fight you for that title.

          • KyleJMcBride

            Pro Wrestling or MMA style?

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            You’ll have to talk with her. I’m assuming she has a bad ass character with a cape though.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          But dude, just in case you missed it, their name is a mashup of “pussy” and “lucifer.” Doesn’t that make you want to shell out $10 for an album?

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      The world needs the promise of something that will one day be released, now that we no longer have Chinese Democracy, Detox and Duke Nukem Forever for that

      • GoatForest

        I hope it’s exactly as satisfying as all those were.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Bummer for Oakland Marduk fans, they rip live. And I always had the impression that they (or Morgan at least) are more childish edgelord types than actual scumbags. But it’s a tricky territory…

  • Black Smallbeard

    It sounds like the stoner metal guys are cornering the market on GoFundMe surgeries

  • Stanley

    And thus, it was born. RIFFS! And the lyrics are pretty awesome too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPuGOlyPlkY

    • Black Smallbeard

      woopwoop

    • Joaquin Stick

      Ugh, my sources are shit these days. Thanks! Dis good.

    • GL

      Release date of this Friday!!!!??? BYAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

      Fuck yes!!!!

      GL

      • Stanley

        That’s not right. It’s April 28th according to their FB page.

        • GL

          /disappointed
          /butstillexcited!

    • GL

      This is so good.

  • Hans Moleman

    Extremity not ignant enuff.
    https://kafirun.bandcamp.com/album/the-worship-and-glorification-of-holy-death

    I see All Pigs Must Die are coming through here in April. Trying to decide if that might be fun.

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    I’m friends with a guy from Fit For A King on Facebook and I feel bad that they’re stuff got stolen.

  • Joaquin Stick

    Ha, people are actually playing that DT game and winning tickets to shows and to meet the band. DT just posted this picture of a meetup.

    https://www.facebook.com/dreamtheater/posts/10154158272587181:0

    • Rain Poncho W.

      That could have been Joe if he wasn’t terrible at it.

    • “Clemens Winklmaier” yeah, sure thing DT. Might as well have gone with “Fakey McFakename”

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Pike Mortnoy

  • KyleJMcBride

    How come none of these bands back up their files to multiple drives/clouds if the data on them is so important? Or store backup drives in a different physical location? Have none of these bands ever heard of Google Drive or Dropbox?

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      Only 2 inch tape is real.

      • KyleJMcBride

        Real enough to get stolen anyway.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Hahahaha

    • GL

      That is what separates the winners from the losers, imo.

  • Sir Ukkometso The Based

    Will Ghost save metal once more?

  • KyleJMcBride

    At some point bands may need to hire someone specifically to watch their gear.
    http://www.theprp.com/2017/02/19/news/thieves-break-tour-bus-malignancy-etc-netherlands-show/

  • KyleJMcBride
  • KyleJMcBride

    90% of my data is replaceable yet I still have files backed up on 2 different PCs.

    • Black Smallbeard

      especially when external HDDs are so cheap these days

  • So me and the missus are flying to Toronto to see Dinosaur Jr on March 10th. Turns out Iron Reagan and Power Trip are playing the same night in Toronto. Still looking forward to getting my eardrums destroyed by J Mascis, but damn that’s a fine thrashy tour.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      J Mascis is one of the most brilliant guitar players EVER!

  • People are upset that Marduk has used historical imagery on their albums and in lyrical content.
    Let’s just burn all our history books and copies of movies like Schindler’s List while we’re at it. NO MORE REFERENCING THINGS, GUISE

    • Black Smallbeard

      I’m going to start a rumor that Tegan and Sara are racist as f*** and no one should go to their shows

      • i don’t know who that is, but it sounds hipster af; and therefore declare that “a good idea”.

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        LESBIANS FOR THE FOURTH REICH!!!!!

        • Black Smallbeard

          I SAW ONE OF THEM DO A HAND GESTURE ONCE! GODDAMN LESBONAZIS

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Aww, man. Does that mean I have to get rid of my Dead Kennedys collection because of that song that has “Uber Alles” on it?

      • GoatForest

        Antifa would probably protest them, if the DK still properly existed.

  • KyleJMcBride
    • Black Smallbeard

      Were they a band or just a bunch of DJs? lol

  • Primordial Chaos

    Immolation’s new song is a crushing Death metal song, I’m pretty stoked about their new album, this band is truly incapable to write dull or ineffectual material.

  • That new Immolation will be the only thing I’ve gotten excited for so far.

    • Seeing them this Saturday with more beer. Should be a fun time.

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