This Toilet Tuesday (9/8/15)

1833
84
Share:

You are startled from your restless slumber by the sharp closing of a door. Still groggy and not entirely sure of where you are, you gaze bleary-eyed at your surroundings. White walls. Curtain to your right. Sterile smell. A heart rate monitor quietly beeping to your left. That’s right, you think; the hospital. You lie withered and placid upon a stiff mattress, crippled by disease and a sedentary life. A life of waste; you talked big, you dreamed big, but you accomplished nothing. No friends or family have come to see you in your final hours. Your only company is a painfully overworked nurse, and she’s nowhere to be found right now. You await your end alone and forgotten.

No, you decide. No more waiting. The cancer that riddles your body has caused you enough pain. Mustering the last of your energy, you feebly shuffle over to the machine that keeps your lungs operating. It’s a Herculean feat, but you make it there before collapsing breathlessly upon it. You slide down its side to the floor and yank out its power cord. It beeps loudly for a couple seconds before shutting off; it seems its power supply wasn’t fully charged. Relieved, you lie your head on the cool floor. This is it. You have no-one left to impress; you can relax completely. You feel a warm spot spreading across the back of your gown, its acrid, ferrous stench indicating it’s more blood than feces. “Well,” you wheeze through a rattling last breath. At least whoever has to clean this up won’t forget anytime soon.

Die in obscurity on This Toilet Tuesday.


nightfell

Nightfell – Darkness Evermore (20 Buck Spin) [Black Metal]
Stream

In what was starting to look like a year destined to be dominated by outstanding black metal, death metal has started firing back with a slew of great new releases. The latest shot fired in this war I just made up for no reason is Nightfell’s Darkness Evermore. Nightfell, like a lot of bands, combine death and doom into one crushing concoction, but do so with a fair amount of clean atmospherics that really elevate their music to the next level. If Autopsy are the mullet of death doom (just pure goddamn filth and nastiness) then Nightfell are the undercut (sleek, refined…brooding?). Please justify my haircut by pressing play and rocking along. 9/11/15 (Leif Bearikson)


hercyn

Hercyn – Dust and Ages (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Of Ruin”

Hey, would you like to hear some trees’n’such black metal mixed with a wee bit of Bathory-worshipping folksy bleakness? Of course you do! Well head on over to No Clean Singing and preview “Of Ruin” by Hercyn. Those melodic riffs leading up to that old school beat that kicks in at about 2:35 brings all the feels. Expect soul-wrenching tremolos and transcendent crescendos. This is one to watch. FFO: Agalloch, Antlers, Slechtvalk 9/11/15 (W.)


sangus

Sangus – Pedicabo Mundi (ForzaMorte) [Black Metal]
Stream

You might remember Sangus as the runner-up for our best unsigned band contest in Rhode Island. Well the band is back to smash your dong with a new EP called Pedicabo Mundi. Expect unrelenting buzz-saw riffs, more-rabid-than-Cujo vocals, and gut-busting change-up at the 1:30 mark. This EP will be one of the nastiest short releases you hear all year. FFO: Kreator, Black Anvil, Destroyer 666 9/6/15 (W.)


stratovarius

Stratovarius – Eternal (earMusic) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Shine in The Dark”

I get the feeling this might be cheesy even for some of the other nerds in here, but screw you, I like it. Stratovarius returns with all kinds of electronic hooks, soaring choruses, and by god, some mighty riffage. “Shine in The Dark” is exactly the type of upbeat ballad you’d expect from the band, and I believe this is their most solid offering since 2009’s Polaris. It certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s perfect if you just want something uplifting. 9/11/15 (Spear)


Acid Death – Hall of Mirrors (7hard Records) [Prog Death]
Listen to “Hall of Mirrors”

Aenaon/Virus of Koch – Ultima Momentum/Voro: Forma Mentis (split- Ill-Damnation Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen

Alpha Drone – For Ana (Independent) [Drone, surprise surprise]
Stream

Avulsed – Altar of Disembowelment (Xtreem Music) [Death Metal]
Listen to “To Sacrifice and Devour”

Catacombs – Sin (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “I”

Chiral – Night Sky (Independent) [Post-Black Metal]
Preview

Coffins – Craving to Eternal Slumber (Hammerheart Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Cronic – Kundalini (Indpendent) [Thrash]

Dawn Ray’d – A Thorn, A Blight (Moment of Collapse Records) [Black Metal]
Stream

Drakum – Trollmin (Independent) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Wall of Deadly Trolls”

Elferya – Eden’s Fall (Independent) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “With All My Love”

Frade Negro – The Attack of the Damned (Kill Again Records) [Thrash]
Preview

Goatpenis – Apocalypse War (Pagan War Distro Rex) [Death Metal]
Preview

Haiduk – Demonicon (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Azyr”

HellLight – Journey Through Endless Storms (Solitude Productions) [Funeral Doom]
Listen to “Journey Through Endless Storms,” “Distant Light That Fades”

Human Desolation – Mind Grind Paradigm (Independent) [Melodeath]

Hypoxia – Despondent Death (Ultimate Massacre Productions) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “Schizophrenic Killing”

I, Legion – Pleiona (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Sirens”

Into Darkness – Sinister Demise (Rising Nemesis/Sevared Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Left Behind”

Kai Flood – Ilmutus Surm (SLL Records) [Black Metal]

Kaiserreich – Cuore Nero (De Tenebrarum Principio) [Black Metal]
Preview

Leaves’ Eyes – King of Kings (AFM REcords) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “Halvdan the Black”

Macbeth – Imperium (Massacre Records) [Melodic Metal]
Listen to “WN62”

Majestic Downfall – …When Dead (Pulverised Records) [Doom]
Listen to “The Brick, The Concrete”

Manipulation – Ecstasy (Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Preview

Orkan – Livlaus (Dark Essence Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Livlaus del 2: Dødens Dal”

Поезд Родина/Funeral Tears – Frozen Tranquility (split- Symbol of Domination) [Funeral Doom]
Listen to “Eternal Tranquility,” “Мертві квіти”

Sakrificer – Desolate Darkness (False Cause) [Death/Thrash]

Sardonis – III (Consouling Records) [Sludge/Doom]
Listen to “Battering-ram”

Speedtrap – Straight Shooter (Svart Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Straight Shooter”

Stormy Atmosphere – Pent Letters (Metal Scrap Records) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “The Menippeah,” “Gothic Dread,” “Outcome”

Slayer – Repentless (Nuclear Blast) [Thrash]
Listen to “Repentless”

Tarja Turunen – Ave Maria – En Plein Air (earMusic) [Classical/Opera]
Preview

Vials of Wrath – Days Without Names (Independent) [(un)Black Metal]
Listen to “Revival of the Embers”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

  • Vote for Jeb

    Man, that intro.

  • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

    I love all kinds of metal, either its Apocalyptica, Metallica, Manowar or even Dragonforce, but when it comes to Breaking Benjamin, everything comes together in one hell of a package, great lyrics, great sounds and mostly a huge feeling they gave me, hope the best for them. Peace!

    -Froggy posted, Top Ten Best Rock Band Of All Time

    • Maik Beninton™

      I do like Breaking Benjamin.

    • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

      Long time no see!

  • Goatpenis and Tarja Turunen have albums coming out in the same week. What a time to be alive.

    • Óðinn

      That’s featured comment material.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      ‘Twill ensure that your manpenis has something else coming out right?

  • Maik Beninton™

    That Stratovarius is very great. I don’t find it so cheesy.

  • Tyree
    • RJA

      I’ve been waiting to hear some reports back from Hell’s Headbash. Curious about Satanic Warmaster.

      • Tyree

        They were phenomenal. Not sure why they didn’t headline that day. I left after their set any ways. Glad I did because I heard Profanatica sucked live. Big ol’ yawn fest for their set.

        • RJA

          They seem like the obvious headliner to me too – kind of a big deal playing here in the states. you going to write anything up on it? if so, I’ll wait for that – if not I would love to hear what your favorite stuff was from the weekend.

          • Vote for Jeb

            I’d read that.

          • The Anus That Ate Manhattan
          • Tyree

            Not sure, we’ll see. I was most impressed with Midnight, Acid Witch, Blood Feast, Bonehunter, Abysmal Lord, Satanic Warmaster, Destruktor, Perdition Temple, Sacrocurse, Archgoat, Black Witchery, Deathhammer (Once they got past all the technical problems), Nyogthaeblisz, and Shitfucker.

          • RJA

            I completely overlooked that Sacrocurse was playing – nice.

          • Tyree

            Yeah they ripped. Plus they covered Mayhem’s Freezing Moon.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY4xL8_sGcE

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt

            The moon will turn blood red right after Midnight’s set on September 26th and usher in the Metalocalypse, so I’m looking forward to that.

        • sweetooth0

          Man Profanatica sucked? What a bummer. I love those guys’ albums.

          • Tyree

            Yeah I like em too, just mean and nasty shit. Some bands just are not meant to play live I guess. I talked to a bunch of people and read a lot of comments about them that were pretty negative. It’s hard to top Satanic Warmaster though.

          • sweetooth0

            weird, I’ve seen some old live videos and they seemed pretty brutal. Maybe they just got too old, too fat, and too bored of playing more or less the same riff and beat for the past 25 years. I wonder if they still dress up as nuns. In the old days they played buck naked.

          • Tyree

            Yeah, they were in the nun outfits. Here is a video from the gig. I have not watched it yet.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgyGztc26cc

          • sweetooth0

            yeah, pretty big pile of meh goin’ on there. Looks like it’s just a two piece also, and I can’t hear any bass guitar which is pretty prominent on their studio recordings. Not nearly enough distortion on the guitars also.

          • Tyree

            Yeah. Tuff shit. Like I said, glad I left. More cheap beer at the hotel.

    • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

      Found this one yesterday, and thought it’d be right up your alley. Music’s by Oingo Boingo.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ikqXx18VPQ&index=39&list=PL4112A6CFAE0A03F3

  • Dagon

    Yo Leif I’m thinking about getting an undercut this week. Cool blurb.

    • Leif Bearikson

      Combine it with a mullet.

  • This Hercyn started great, the guitar tone is dry and cold.

    http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/001/218/1251673866239.jpg

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt

      I’m twerkin’ to Hercyn.

      • I would like to see you twerking at the 04:06 mark.

        • Pagliacci is Kvlt

          That’s where I really kicked it into high rear… I mean gear.

        • Pagliacci is Kvlt

          Now I’m getting all cheery to Chiral.

          https://chiral27.bandcamp.com/

      • Stockhausen

        I’m twersine to Hercyn.

        • Pagliacci is Kvlt

          Twers ‘n shout!

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

    • You’re on a killing spree!

      • Óðinn

        It”s the Toilet that kills, Link. I merely report the news.

        • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

          Other blogs blog, TOH KILLS!

  • Maik Beninton™

    There is some good black metal on that unblack metal.

  • Spear

    Aenaon/Virus of Koch split is pretty solid. Shame it’s only the two songs, though.

  • OldMetalHead

    That Sardonis sounds really good.

  • An image I think we all can appreciate. Hail Terlet Tuesday.
    http://i.imgur.com/pRghoNU.jpg

  • JJM

    happy birthday, @disqus_kqxyUNPxty:disqus!!

    • Vote for Jeb

      Thanks, McNasty.

      • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

        Happy bday you old coot

      • more beer

        Happy birthday Mr. President!

      • Ted Nü-Djent ™

        *McSalty

  • The Anus That Ate Manhattan

    Might check out the new Stratovarius, but ‘Shine In The Dark’ didn’t do much of anything to wet my undies. Outside of ‘Polaris’, they’ve been on autopilot since ‘Elements 2’.
    I heard the new Tarja’s in some new kind of HD. For those who’ve always wanted to hear her drive the same 3 octaves and notes into the ground for over an hour.

  • Stockhausen

    grvm and poopbitten. happy closer to obscvre death day, w

  • Disgustache

    Sangus was so brutal. Luh dat shit.

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Holy fuck Nightfell is some awesome shit.

  • CT-12

    Simon, or anybody else who digs thrash (with a lil death thrown in), DO NOT FUCKING SLEEP ON SAKRIFICER!!!! This is from their first album. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o-MxDt5ZUE

    • CT-12

      Not trying to overpost here, but Aosoth just announced a new EP as well! One new song and a remix from Arrow in the Heart. Here’s the cover.

  • CT-12

    Agonia records is having a pretty good sale on their bandcamp page til the 30th. Every album for 3.66. Hop on it. https://agoniarecords.bandcamp.com/

    • Lacertilian

      Yeah man, we had a post on the group yesterday about it, good stuff. Imma get that Axiom that’s been buried in my BC wishlist for months.

  • pïgchop™