This Toilet Tuesday (8/5/2014)

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Greetings, denizens of the mighty bowl. I preside like Great Caesar from my porcelain throne, doling out flushes and wipes as the crowd demands. The loyal praetorians Flushgod Apocalypse, Deputy Dipshit, Spear, and Jack Bauer have rounded up quite the collection of worthy gladiators, and now they vie for your attention in the bowl. Which of these steaming piles remind you of that spicy Thai food you shouldn’t have eaten as a left-over the next morning, and which are the diamond-encrusted doo-doos. Are you not entertained? Who gets the flush?

Alestorm – Sunset on the Golden Age (Napalm) [Pirate Metal]

Listen to “Drink”

Everyone’s favorite pirate-metalers are back! Sunset on the Golden Age is more of what you’ve come to love from Alestorm – beer-soaked, battle-infused folk metal. The band does not step much from their comfort zone, but why would they? Pirates love booze, treasure, and fighting – and a pirate’s life is the life for Alestorm! (Flushgod Apocalypse)


 

Cold World – How the Gods Chill (Deathwish Inc.) [Hardcore]

Stream

I was unaware of Cold World before streaming How The Gods Chill, but after 13 tracks of groove-oriented tough-guy goodness, I wanted to shout the lyrics from the top of my lungs with my best mates. Even the hip-hop nods are awesome; when you spend a better part of your day listening to blast-beats, a fiery verse rapped over heavy-as-balls guitar riffing can easily be welcomed with open arms. (Flushgod Apocalypse)


 

 

Entombed A.D. – Back to the Front (Century Media) [Death Metal]

Listen to “Vulture and the Traitor”

With this incarnation of Entombed, I am left with an overall indecisive and unsure feeling.  Having listened to the two tracks they released as an appetizer before Back To The Front makes its official release tomorrow, Vulture and the Traitor trumps Bedlam Attack, in my opinion.  But after sampling both tracks I am left with a big question mark as to whether this album will deliver or fizzle.  My gut is telling me I’ll continue fanboying Clandestine, Left Hand Path, and Wolverine Blues and that’s where it will end, but it is certainly possible this album is “a grower, not a shower”.  Do you see a porcelain water-swirl in their future? (Deputy Dipshit)


 

 

Mouth of the South – Struggle Well (Facedown) [Mallcore]

Listen to “Good Intentions” 

Nothing new here. Re-hashed, generic, predictable Rise Records wannabes that gallop, chug, and pristinely sing their way through each track. For the more spiritual of the Toilet dwellers, you may find some solace in their uplifting lyrics. As for myself, I’m still unsure as to why I’m writing this blurb, other than to warn you to completely dismiss anyone who mentions this band. 5/5 flushes. (Flushgod Apocalypse)


 

Pathology – Throne of Reign (Pathology Music) [Brutal Death Metal]

Listen to “Harvest”

I love me some brutal death metal.  Can you understand the lyrics?  Fuck no!  But you don’t really need to be able to decipher the gurgly gutterals to be able to comprehend the savagery that Pathology brings to the table with “Throne of Reign.”  The album boasts better production than many of their contemporaries, but it’s not the razor-sharp overproduction that so many tech-death groups have.  The result is a pleasantly meaty tone in all aspects of the sound.  What really counts is the music, of course, and the songs on “Throne of Reign” would have been excellent regardless of production value.  The riffage is tight, the solos are wicked, and the drums will leave you beaten and battered. (Spear)


 

Saturn – Ascending (Live in Space) (Rise Above) [Heavy Metal]

Stream

Thanks to a generous A.V. Club, Ascending (Live in Space) is streaming for our pleasure before release.  Immediately with opening track “So, You Have Chosen Death”, I am transported back to the 70’s, cruising around in my 69′ AMC Javelin and flooring that fucker down the highway, chasing down the night sky, toking on a fresh doobie and loving the fact that I am alive.  I always genuinely appreciate music that can take me away like a vivid dream or a good trip down through an alternate world inside my head.  Any fans of 70’s blues/stoner rock/metal or that sound in particular should really give this one a shot.  I’d have to say the other great part about this is that it’s my first exposure to Saturn, ever, and they’ve already left quite an impression. Don’t take my word for it though… Cheggit Out! :p (Deputy Dipshit)


 

Other New Releases:

Akem Manah – Demons of the Sabbat (Possession/Freak Metal) [Doom] 8/8/14
Stream

Anal Necropsy – Anal Necropsy (Independent) [Grindcore/Powerviolence] 8/4/14
Stream

Belphegor – Conjuring the Dead (Nuclear Blast) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Conjuring the Dead”

Big Black Cloud – Lessons in Fuck You 2 (Eolian Empire/Stankhouse) [Punk/Noise] 8/5/14
Listen to “Open Eye/Yadnus Kcalb” 

Black Trip – Goin’ Under (Prosthetic) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Eyes of the Night

Capture the Crown – Reign of Terror (Artery) [Mallcore]

Columns – Please Explode (Relpase) [Grindcore]
Stream

Costra – Entropia (Independent) [Death Metal/Hardcore] 8/4/14
Listen

Darkest Hour – Darkest Hour (Sumerian) [Mallcore]

Drakum – Around the Oak (single – Independent) [Folk Metal] 8/4/14
Listen

Eluveitie – Origins (Nuclear Blast) [Folk Metal]
Stream

Fragments of the Orient – Somewhere Outside the Present Human Sphere (Independent) [Progressive/Instrumental]
Stream

Hercyn/Thera Roya (split) – All This Suffering is Not Enough (Independent) 8/5/14

Holy Tongues – Weak People (Melotov) [Post-Punk/Hardcore] 8/5/14
Listen to “92” 

Lelahell – Al Insane… The (Re)Birth of Abderrahmane (HPGD) (Death Metal)

Matayus – Abide Inn Darkness (Independent) [Black Metal] 8/4/14
Stream

Mysarium – Minimalist (Independent) [Djent] 8/3/14
Stream

Nachtmystium – The World We Left Behind (Century Media) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Tear You Down” 

Nerguth – Nos Habetit Humus (Independent) [Ambient/DSBM] 8/3/14
Stream

Ommadon – V (vinyl – Independent) [Drone] 8/4/14
Stream

Omnilarity – Beneath (Independent) [Instrumental/ Progressive] 8/3/14
Stream

Operation Cunt Destroyer – Operation Cunt Destroyer (demo) (Independent) [Slam] 8/3/14
Stream

Oubliette – Apparitions (Independent)
Stream

Samsara – The Lincoln Conspiracy (Independent) [Metalcore] 8/3/14
Stream

Shadow of the Torturer – Dronestown (Memento Mori) [Doom Metal]
Stream

Spiral Shades – Hypnosis Sessions (Riding Easy) [Doom] 8/5/14
Listen to “Illuminati”

To Set Ablaze – The Life We Lead (Autumn + Color) [Toilet Music] 8/5/14
Listen to “Eighty Eight”  “The Years of My Life”

V.R.P.I. – Vexilla Regis Prodeunt Inferi (Memento Mori) [Death Metal]

Vaiya – Remnant Light (Natural World) [Black Metal] 8/8/14
Stream

Vardan – Enjoy of Deep Sadness (Moribund) [DSBM] 8/5/14
Listen to “Enjoy of Deep Sadness”

Wovenwar – Wovenwar (Metal Blade) [Elevator Toilet Music]
Listen to “All Rise”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

  • FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    GL

    • Detective D.

      Test….Test…. Is this thing on?

      • Negrodamus

        YOUNG DETECTIVE

        • Detective D.

          Our good resident president W. appointed me Detective! Turning over a new leaf, y’all.

          • Negrodamus

            I really approve of this mash up Deputy, lol.

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt
          • Someone on there requested sites other than MS for metal news, so I gave them like 4, including ours, and the comment was deleted. Good ol’ fascist MS.

          • Detective D.

            Not surprised, there. Them boys are taking it awfully hard, even going as far as creating troll accounts to fire back at the brethren of the turlet. Flush them there fools!

          • Detective D.

            Leave Deputy Dipshit, add in Detective D.! Or you can always go… The Flusher Formerly Known As…

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt

            We are all JAG now, apparently.

          • Detective D.

            Those turdcutters are a bunch of dopes. We are all JAG, we are ONE.
            One Love, One Flush.

          • WE ARE THE FLUSHMIND.

          • No no, we are FLUSHMAIDERS. I have been saying this for weeks and weeks and weeks. . .

            GL

          • dingus

            Not quite, we’re not talking about Trivium

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt

            ZING!

        • Ace Ventura

          DID SOMEBODY CALL ME?

          • Mother Shabubu III

            Llllllllllllllike a gloveh!

        • Ace Ventura

          ACE VENTURA…PET DETECTIVE.

    • Ace Ventura

      Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.

  • Lmao @ referring to wovenwar as elevator toilet music.

    • YourLogicSucks

      I need an elevator toilet, so shit can go down as I go up.

      • In that instance, I think you logic actually sucks.

        GL

      • Ace Ventura

        Nonsense, Poopy-Pants!

    • I’ll be the first to admit that as i lay dying had some good tunes, but wovenwar just seems like a heartless cash grab.

      • I think it would have been cool if they named the band “Tim Lambesis Screwed Me Out of a Job”. I’d be way more likely to give them a chance.

        • Ace Ventura

          You know you could poke somebody’s eyes out with that thing.

      • Mr. Bojangles

        I’m a huge AILD fan. Have been for a long time. They’re boring as shit. I listened to the album twice and hated it.

        -Mr. Bojangles

        • I can only listen to one AILD before I have to switch to something else. Tim’s vocals just get way too monotonous for me. And it seems like he only screams in single syllables, which gets even more annoying. But they gots some good riffs.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            I actually loved Tim’s vocals. I didn’t think they were monotonous at all, especially on their last 2 albums.

            I think you could make that argument for their older albums.

          • I have Shadows are Security, An Ocean Between Us, and The Powerless Rise. I did thoroughly enjoy Powerless Rise when it came out.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            The Powerless Rise and Awakened are the two albums I’m referring to. Especially Awakened

          • Mr. Bojangles
          • This. Although I love the song my only home.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            One of my favorites too, but not surprising since we virtually have the same taste in music.

            -Mr. Bojangles

          • That we do. We are mortal enemies and have the same taste in music. hmm. I propose an alliance in which we choose a new mortal enemy. On the condition that taking over the world is not on the agenda because free will and what not.

          • Mr. Bojangles

            Only pussies believe in free will. #harddeterminism

            -Mr. Bojangles

          • BAD CAT!

          • Mr. Bojangles
          • Ace Ventura

            the urine stain on your pants would signify that you’re a single shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.

          • M Shadows!

            I have a vinegar tainted squirt bottle prepared for you brojangles!

          • M Shadows!

            M Shadows!

          • Ace Ventura

            AND YOU MUST BE THE MONOPOLY GUY…

            Hey…

            THANKS FOR THE FREE PARKING

          • M Shadows!

            You may think it is free but when your car stereo plays glorious hail to the king you will know the true price!

          • Ace Ventura

            3 DARTS IS TOOOO MUCHHH

  • Spear

    That Saturn album is seriously good. I’m not usually a fan of throwback metal, but they’re genuinely good at it.

  • Negrodamus

    Loving that Gladiator themed post this week. A few choice albums I’d like to get into as well…

  • FLUSH ‘EM ALL.
    Just a tip on formatting, maybe add in a horizontal rule in between each album that’s being considered. It gets kind of confusing.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt

      This.

    • W.

      Ah, that’s a good idea. Thanks for the tip!

      • Ace Ventura

        That’s a lovely wrap you’re wearing! Perhaps I could buy you some fluffy new slippers, made from the heads of innocent and defenseless baby seals!

    • Great suggestion. Added. If you refresh you’ll see it.

    • Owlswald

      As a follow-up to Ann’s suggestion, putting the band names in bold in the larger list may help as well?

      • W.

        Thanks for these suggestions. I’m here to please our constituents.

    • Ace Ventura

      HEY! WE MUST RESPECT ALL LIVING CREATURES.

  • Tyree

    I thought that Shadow of the Torturer album was released in 2013? Maybe it is a re release then.

    Daaaamn!!! The first song on that Ommadon album is 47 minutes and the second song is 40 minutes!

    • W.

      Tyree, this Columns album is choice.

      • Tyree

        It’s super grindy which is never a bad thing. I bet they are a great live band.

        * Hopefully they make the MDF bill for Soundstage.

      • Tommy P

        Oh hi Charlotte band 🙂 Very good live

  • From an interview with Mouth of the South:

    “Although we love to write and play heavy music, it is our primary goal
    as a band to spread the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

    Gross. We should interview them and ask them lots of Jimmy Hart related questions.

  • Scrimm

    Every time Entombed release something I want so bad to like it more, but it just never happens. L.G. is a badass though, I’ll still check it out for that.

    • Norfair Legend

      Same, man, Left Hand Path & Clandestine are just perfection, even past that I can find some good on all their releases. One of my favorite bands for a long time that I hope so fucking hard with every new release they catch that lightning again…but alas it has yet to happen. Back to the Front is O.K. but that’s the best I can say.

      • Scrimm

        Sounds like it’s about what I expected. Oh well, I’ll keep hoping for a Dismember reunion, and that the new Grave is good.

        • Norfair Legend

          They just need to get their groove back, everything is just chugga-chugga-chugga-yell. Carcass made you want to move with Surgical Steel. Back to the Front just makes you want to find a chair and sit on it for a few minutes until you decide something better to do.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        It would have been the surprise of the century though if Entombed would’ve actually returned back to the front.

    • Ace Ventura

      LIKE
      A
      GLOVE

  • Tommy P

    The only worthy power metal album you really missed is Unisonic’s new one (the first time since Helloween Kiske and Kai Hansen have worked together!!!)

    I haven’t listened to it, it could totally suck, but I love Kiske/Hansen so I hope it doesn’t. Those two dudes are big enough that it’s worthy of noting this album.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    That Entombed album deserves to be flushed so deep it will never be found again. Also YOU should all be flushed with it for not mentioning Soma by Bölzer, out today.

  • Mr. Bojangles

    Everything that came out today is complete shit except Eluveitie.

    -Mr. Bojangles

  • Cock of Steele

    Where do I start?! *Head (tip) Explodes*

  • Norfair Legend

    Definitely some Cold World and Columns today. Sweet !

  • Ace Ventura

    ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    RIGHTY THEN

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    I’m two tracks into that Minimalist album and liking it so far. Different enough from Animals As Leaders to make me like both. That free download is welcome too.

    • Spear

      If you like that, the Omnilarity album will probably tickle your pickle too.

      • Further Down the Metal Hole

        It was ok, but not quite as good in my opinion.

  • thexenosapien

    That new pathology song was in fact a preproduction track. Here’s the final track http://www.pathologymusic.com/audio-player

  • Ayreonaut

    Elevator toilet music? Lol

  • Howard Dean

    “Throne of Reign” is the most trite, uninspired album title ever. What the fuck, Pathology.

  • Scrimm
  • Flushgod Apocalypse

    Mallcore sells — 24,000 copies first fucking week. Wow.

  • P-ST0LER0

    I’ve officially flushed myselv- to the toiletovhell… weeeee!