This Toilet Tuesday (8/18/15)

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How did it come to this? you silently ask yourself. You crouch at the bottom of a squat, legs wobbling, trying not to be crushed by the 250 lbs. on your shoulders. It’s your first day back at the gym after almost a year being away, and you foolishly thought you could pick up right where you left off. You knew this was a bad idea when you struggled just to get the loaded bar off the rack, but you went ahead with it anyway. Now at the lowest point of your life, you’re starting to wonder if you might die here in this smelly weight room, covered in sweat and surrounded by judgmental strangers.

No. You won’t let it end here. You’re better than this, and you’re going to show the whole gym. Gathering as much strength as your pathetic noodle-legs can muster, you begin to stand again. You feel as though you’re pushing the earth away from yourself, and the bar is fighting to crush you under its weight. With a mighty roar, you give one final push and stagger forward. The bar slams into the rack and you successfully drop it into place. “Woo!” you thrust your fists into the air and shout, turning around to face the other staring gym goers. They don’t seem to be looking at your face though. Just as you start to wonder what they’re looking at, a familiar stench hits your nostrils. You don’t even need to look to know that that warm droplet trickling down the back of your leg is a sickly brown. But you’re alive; you’re not going to let this get you down. You look the crowd in their faces and waddle out of the weight room, doing your best to clench your leaking butt closed.

Bear your colors proudly on This Toilet Tuesday.


adversarial

Adversarial – Death, Endless Nothing and the Black Knife of Nihilism (Dark Descent Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Sometimes album titles tell you exactly how awesome an album is going to be. Death, Endless Nothing and the Black Knife of Nihilism is easily one of the best titles you’ll see all year, and thankfully the music cashes the check that name wrote. Adversarial ply in a bleak, misanthropic brand of death metal that is all the rage right now. What sets this band apart from their competitors is the thoughtfulness applied to album construction. The ground and pound vitriol is often suspended for brief moments of quiet unease, allowing a creeping, despondent atmosphere to build. The nice variety in the songs keeps the uber-brutal approach from ever growing stale. FFO: Autokrator, Pissgrave, Antediluvian 8/21/15 (W.)


scythian

Scythian – Hubris In Excelsis (Hells Headbangers) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Beyond the Dust,” “Hubris in Excelsis”

The introduction to “Beyond the Dust” might make you wonder if you’re about to embark on an epic journey with Keep of Kalessin or a Hellenic black metal band, but then the old school riffs and galloping drums kick in, and you realize you’re about to have your nads punted up into your throat by some killer death metal. The two songs that are streaming now both show Scythian as masters of their craft; the album is definitely classic in its approach but something grander in execution. The razor-sharp riffs are accented by cherubic vocal flourishes, Eastern modes, and a polished production. Grab your magic carpet and prepare for headbanging. FFO: Craven Idol, Bathory, Desaster 8/21/15 (W.)


act of defiance

Act of Defiance – Birth and the Burial (Metal Blade) [Thrash]
Listen to “Throwback,” “Legion of Lies”

Full disclosure: I’m a tremendous Chris Broderick fanboy, so I might be a little biased in favor of this one. Given how brilliant he was as a live guitarist for Nevermore, I was a little disappointed that he didn’t get to show off much in Megadeth. Now we have Act of Defiance, Broderick and Shawn Drover’s post-Deth act. Just listening to this, you can practically feel the tension has been lifted. Their performances are less stiff than they’ve been in years, and the songs are just plain better than Megadeth’s latest couple albums. For most people, I imagine this won’t be much more than a serviceable thrash album in the same vein as Testament, but for me, it’s immensely refreshing. (Spear)


dark sermon

Dark Sermon – The Oracle (Good Fight Records) [Blackened Death]
Listen to “Rat King,” “Myth of Sanity”

This is a case of a band changing for the better if you ask me. By better I mean for the fucking great. Dark Sermon used to make really top notch modern metal with some deathcore influences, but in my humble opinion there wasn’t anything too special about it. However, everything I have heard from their new album sounds fucking filthy and it goes fucking hard! The first single they released called “The Rat King” reminded me of Nails. Need I say more? Don’t miss this one kids! (Jack Bauer)


rivers of nihil

Rivers of Nihil – Monarchy (Metal Blade) [Progressive Death Metal]
Stream

Rivers of Nihil have improved on their brand of already facemelting death metal with technical influences by doing what Job For A Cowboy did last year and adding a lil’ prog and some of dat bass. This has resulted in them absoultely catapulting past the sound they had on the preceding album and any fan of death metal should give these guys a chance! (Jack Bauer)


Aggression – Fractured Psyche Demons (Galy Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Cut Your Sins Off”

Alkonost -Tales of Wanderings (Beverina) [Folk Metal]
HEARKEN, BRAVE ADVENTURER, TO “THE SWORD OF FATE,” “TALES OF WANDERING,” “WONDERLAND”

Ancient Spheres – In Conspiracy With the Night (Satanath Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Invoking Darkness”

Battlecross – Rise to Power (Metal Blade) [Thrash]
Listen to “Not Your Slave,” “Absence”

Bloody Mortir – Vandalisme Massal (Playloud Records) [Grindcore]
Preview

Crisalida – Terra Ancestral (Mechanix Records) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “Morir Aquí”

Crossing Edge – Breakout (Massacre Records) [Metalcore]
Listen to “Part of Me”

Crow’sClaw – Indigo Blue and Black Stout (Independent) [Instrumental Rock/Prog]
Preview

December XII – Twelve Candles (Fono Ltd.) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Autumn Road”

DISTURBED – IMMORTALIZED (REPRISE/WARNER BROS.) [DAVID DRAIMAN]
OHH-WA-AH-AH-AH

Extinction AD – Faithkiller (Good Fight Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “Faithkiller”

From the Vastland – Blackhearts (Symbol of Domination) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Blackhearts”

Ghost – Meliora (Loma Vista Recordings) [Heavy Metal]
Full album stream

Harpyie – Freakshow (Metalville) [Folk Metal]
Preview

Hate Eternal – Infernus (Season of Mist) [Death Metal]
Stream

Horrific Disease – Outbreak (Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Distracting Decision”

Inkvisitor – Doctrine of Damnation (Independent) [Thrash]
Stream

Kadavar – Berlin (Nuclear Blast) [Doom/Rock]
Listen to “The Old Man”

Lychgate – An Antidote for the Glass Pill (Blood Music) [Black Metal]
Stream

The Murder of My Sweet – Beth Out of Hell (Frontiers Records) [Gothic Metal]
Listen to “Humble Servant”

Myrkur – M (Relapse Records) [Folky Black Metal]
Stream

Necrodium – Remnants (Breaking Wheel Productions) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Torture Test”

Nekro Drunkz – Absolute Filth (Moribund Records) [Toiletgrind]
Listen to “Hump the Stump”

Raise Hell – Written in Blood (Black Lodge) [Thrash]
Listen to “Six Feet Under”

Re-Armed – Total Lack of Communication (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Total Lack of Communication”

Royal Hunt – Devil’s Dozen (Frontiers Music) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “So Right So Wrong”

Serpentor – Legiones (Icarus Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “Legiones”

Skullthrone – Biomechanical Messiah (Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Antichrist Retaliation”

The Sword – Hight Country (Razor & Tie Records) [Doom]
Listen to “High Country”

Unbreakable Hatred – Ruins (Unique Leader) [Tech Death]
Stream

Vardan – Between the Fog and Shadows (Moribund Records) [Black Metal]

Vomit of Doom – Obey the Darkness (Satanath Records) [Black Thrash]
Listen to “Haunting,” “Perversecution”

Vortex of End – Fvlgvr Lvx Terror (Deadlight Entertainment) [Blackened Death]
Listen to “Fvlgvr Lvx Terror”

War Pestilence/Nocturnal Death – Cursed Tombs of Perverse Conjuration (split- Engulfed in Darkness) [Black Metal]

Wolfheart – Shadow World (Spinefarm Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Aeon of Cold”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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  • DCLXVI

    Thank you!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    That Ghost album was so good. I’m also excited for The Sword’s new album and Lynch Mob has an album coming out Friday as well called Rebel.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod
    • sweetooth0

      Jammin this right now. This album rules!

  • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

    Ay, just listened to Adversarial this morning. Good shit! And yes, that album title kicks ass!

    Listening to that new Lluvia album that was released yesterday now. Pretty killer so far. Check it out if you have not already.

    https://lluvia.bandcamp.com/album/eternidad-solemne

    • Howard Dean

      Adversarial CD should be in my mailbox when I get home. Can’t wait to blast that fucker! Also ordered the Hic Iacet CD at the same time, so should be a good few days of listening!

      • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

        Oh man, that new Hic Iacet album is damn fine; spun that one this weekend. I actually should be getting my copy of Adversarial today as well. Finally got my Pissgrave CD yesterday, and you were correct about the inside picture being way worse than the front cover. Gag worthy!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    This is the week of good releases. Kadavar, The Sword, Royal Hunt and Ghost are all releasing albums and I’m so happy.

    • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

      Indeed! You’re the first RH fan I’ve known in ages. They went away for quite a while.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        How are they so little known? They’re so good!

        • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

          From what I could ever tell, they never got promoted much, or toured very much. Plus they took that long break.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Plus constantly switched singers and ended up having the mammoth-disease that plagues so many prog bands, from which they’ve now recovered.
            That’s pretty unmarketable.

          • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

            Never quite thought of them as prog. Definitely struck me a lot more as power metal.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Prog/Power is how I remember them but then I only recall some of their older work. I like this new song doe.

  • Hubert

    I laughed heartily at the Disturbed one, good job Spear.

    Listening to Adversarial right now… Holy shit… Heavy.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I did too. The new song is just so bad.

  • Dagon

    Bear your colours proudly had me SLAIN.

    Thou hast slain me, Spear. I shall embrace the eternal sleep now.

  • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

    Ooooooooooooooooooh shit, new Royal Hunt!!!!! Definitely giving that one a listen!

    Murder Of My Sweet = lolbuttz. And I do mean buttz!!!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81cnNt4rBgE

    Come for the god awful, elephant-just-shit-in-my-ear music, stick around for the butt and boobies.

  • Dagon

    I didn’t get into Kadavar as much as I did get into Graveyard but I’m gonna give the former’s new album a chance.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Just listened to “Into The Night” off of Kadavar’s new. Much better than before and I didn’t quite love Graveyard’s third but the latter is still a tad better.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
      • Dagon

        I’m about to right now.

      • Lacertilinger

        those fucking warbling vocals are weird

  • Howard Dean

    The Gribberiket “Knefall” CD was released today from Dead Seed Productions. “Drunken” doom with a nasty edge. Vinyl has been delayed into oblivion, with no release date announced. Not sure on North American distribution, but you can order it up from Europe now if you wish!

    http://store.deadseedproductions.com/products/556781-gribberiket-knefall-cd-digifile

  • Brouroboris

    New rivers of nihil is kicking my ass.

    • Howard Dean

      Sorry, I put the wrong gif in this comment. I was supposed to post a flushing toilet gif.

      • The Haunting Presence of Tyree
        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          We’re the BYAHHHHHH Warriors!

        • Dubzlinger, Malandro

          Supposedly that ad campaign featuring her worked because that game rakes in over a million bucks a day.

          • Howard Dean

            Goddamn, that’s crazy. Fucking nerds!

          • Dubzlinger, Malandro

            I could be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure the biggest demographic for mobile games is actually women, many of them stay-at-home moms. It could very well be different for Game of War, but Candy Crush makes absurd amounts of money.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            So, stay-at-home moms like nice titties? Who knew?

          • C’mon. Everyone likes nice titties.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Shit, you make a good point. Titties all around!

          • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile
          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree
          • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile
          • Howard Dean

            Fuck yes they do! They’re all sitting around, watching General Hospital and doing crosswords, and just dreaming of a threesome with some big ol’ titties involved. Truth.

          • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile
          • And while everyone may like boobs, this is a good time to remind everyone this ain’t the place for porn.

          • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

            Do manboobs count as SFW porn?

          • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

            Joeboobs in action.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            “boobs”

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            (.)(.)

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            She is very pretty.

          • DCLXVI

            lotta those start ups are broke…indebted to investors that funded the start up. Zynga is a good example

          • Zynga has laid off like a bazillion employees now. I can’t believe they still exist.

          • Dubzlinger, Malandro
          • DCLXVI

            Those certainly are strong looking numbers, on paper.

          • Dubzlinger, Malandro

            I wasn’t disagreeing with you. Just thought this list was interesting.

          • DCLXVI

            me either.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            What’s that other game commercial with the skeletons, giants, and other critter cartoons. Can’t remember what game it is, but those commercials are pretty fun. Nothing as drool worthy as the Game of War ones though obviously.

          • Dubzlinger, Malandro

            I vaguely recall seeing skeletons. I’m not sure. Was it something about Atlantis?

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree
          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Should have named it, Clash of Tits. Just sayin’…

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            The goal of the game is to clash as many tits as you can.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            That sounds like the best goal of any video game ever.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            Clash of the Celtic Frost Titties.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Dude, now you’re just being mean. Clashing titties with a Frost soundtrack. Damn.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            Just add the beer in and we could be on to something here.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Holy shit.

          • Dubzlinger, Malandro

            Ah, there it is. I know a bunch of people who play this.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            I think the company who developed this was sold for like 7 gazillion’s last year. Super successful.

          • Dubzlinger, Malandro

            It seems the highest paying games are Freemium apps that hook addicts in a similar way to gambling.

        • Dagon

          Sorry but I have to post her video doing the cat daddy. Please don’t get fired.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCUnWIs88CQ

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            I’ve seen it. I’ll refrain from watching it at work.

          • Dagon

            Smart man.

      • Brouroboris
        • Howard Dean

          That’s some damn good form!

          • Brouroboris

            I shave all my body hair to minimise drag.

          • Howard Dean

            Nice. Alopecia ist krieg.

        • She successfully avoided hitting the dookie stain on the left.

          • Brouroboris

            Or completely failed to hit it.

      • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile
  • Brouroboris

    Dark sermon gets a big ol tickeroo as well.

  • DCLXVI

    wow I just had music playing in three different windows a la ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and it couldn’t even tell!

    • Brouroboris

      That’s how you know it’s good.

    • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

      And it melted the steel beams in your house?

  • A Most Curious Poo Poo Pile

    Loving Scythian, judging by these two songs.

  • 365chaosriddendays

    Oh, some evil entities told me to check Ghost and Adversarial, special thanks goes to Pazuzu and Azazel, personally I’m glad about the new Rivers of Nihil too, facemelting, atmospheric, better than their debut I think.

    • Spear

      Much better. I only liked a couple songs from the debut, but I thoroughly enjoyed the new one.

      • 365chaosriddendays

        Their debut is a good album to me but not a masterpiece, yes, I understand if you just picked a couple of songs, after all it wasn’t something new, my favourites from that album are “Mechanical Trees” and “Soil & Seed”

    • Dagon

      This art makes me happy.

  • That one label Satanath Records has a bunch of stuff for free.

    http://satanath.bandcamp.com/

    • CT-12

      Thanks!

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • JW(E)G

    Def getting that Kadavar and Ghost.

    Rivers of Nihil has the taint of MetalSucks upon them, but I guess I can give it a go if Mr. Bauer speaks highly of it.

  • Disgustache

    Some serious weedlies, deedlies, and meedlies in the beginning of that Act of Defiance. The rest really slayed, though. MOAR THRASH I SAY. MOAR.

    Gonna give the Adversarial, Rivers and Dark Sermon a bit of a deeper go when I get home later.

    • Lacertilinger

      Scythian will go deep for ya.

  • Phoenix of the House Tendies

    Aggression has a new album? HOLY FOOKING SHEEEIT.

    https://youtu.be/QKSvNxuZt9g

  • Waynecro

    I dig Wolfheart, and I can blast Rivers of Nihil in the gym. I totally forgot that Raise Hell was still a band. I don’t think I’ve really liked anything since Holy Target, though. “Raise the Devil” is still a pretty rockin’ tune.

  • Waynecro

    Outstanding intro, Spear. Dumping out while doing heavy squats is always a concern.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    How the fuck is Disturbed back together?!

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Draiman’s ape-grunt-shouting got so irritating the vast majority of humanity decided it was best drowned beneath music, and like every other undertaking of the humankind it was a miserable failure?

  • tigeraid

    Really really dig that Extinction AD. Bought their EP last year, glad for this album.

  • Lacertilinger

    YESSS!
    Pre-ordered that Scythian last month after @lmd666:disqus mentioned them. Didn’t realise it was coming out this week, worked out well as I am flat broke after that buck’s weekend.

    • J.R.™

      If you could describe your buck’s weekend with a song/album, what would it be?

      • Lacertilinger

        Wasn’t my bucks weekend but a friends. My bucks was some 5 years ago. They would be completely different songs that’s for sure.

        • J.R.™

          Ahh. Must be a misunderstanding on my part. Some facet of your crazy upside-down culture. Bucks weekend. Some kind of Bachelor party or something?

          • Lacertilinger

            Yeah man, exactly that. It was ridiculous, good and ridiculously good.

  • dat wolfheart <3