This Toilet Tuesday (7/14/15)

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It’s 3AM. You’ve just finished playing a show, and even though you’ve been up all day, you’re still wired and riding the high that comes with a good performance. You’ve got a long road ahead of you tonight yet; you need to be at the venue for tomorrow’s show early, so you want to get to the next city as soon as possible. Knowing you’ll need some extra energy before getting on the highway, you decide to stop at the only place open at this godless hour: the local Perkins. When you open the menu, something catches your eye immediately. Something wonderful and terrible. Though you know it will spell your doom, you know you must order it: the Hearty Man Special. Before long, a small mountain of greasy breakfast food has been placed before you. You tear into it with the voracity of a starved wolf.

You face most of the next day without consequence. The drive was fine, you got in some sleep once you made it to town, and you were even able to do a little sightseeing before setting up for the night. Just when you think you’re in the clear, it hits you at the worst possible time; the start of your set. You grit your teeth and try to hold it back, but you don’t know how long you can last. Something slimy is working its way through your lower intestines, and the reverberations from your bass seem to be speeding it up. Just when you think all is lost, you feel a tap on your shoulder. One of the bartenders, clearly having seen this before, has crept up behind you with a bucket and gives you a knowing nod. When a two measure guitar fill happens, you drop your pants and squat. The bartender slams the bucket against your bare ass as you simultaneously open your anal floodgates and unleash a savage howl into the microphone. The audience goes wild at the spectacle. You have triumphed this night.


immortal bird

Immortal Bird – Empress/Abscess (Broken Limb/Manatee Rampage) [Death/Grind/Sludge]
Listen to “Neoplastic,” “Saprophyte”

The fact that Immortal Bird have been given a feature on NPR seems to indicate a significant amount of hype for the band’s debut album. Based on the two tracks that have been released so far, it seems likely that the band will live up to that acclaim. In the course of a single track, this quartet proves that this is a group to watch, summoning primordial elements from the swamps of hideous sludge and transmuting them through black metal alchemy into a briny, forgotten colossus from the ancient world that marches with a mechanical Cult of Luna-esque step and attacks with a vicious Carcass-esque rhythmic assault. Rae Amitay’s gorgon vocals add the finishing siren song to the monstrosity, luring all listeners to their doom upon the jagged rocks. Impressive stuff. FFO: Emperor, Intronaut, False (W.)


old keeper

Old Witch/Keeper – Old Witch/Keeper (split- Grim Cvlt) [Blackened Doom]
Stream

Fans of sludge and doom should already be familiar with Keeper. I imagine many of you, however, are unfamiliar with their partners on this split. Thankfully, I can report that Old Witch bring the goods. From the moment those ghastly, Baba Yaga vocals kick in over the slimy, bubbling riffs, you’ll be hooked. Old Witch certainly throw down the gauntlet on the first four tracks, demonstrating a surprising amount of diversity in their hideous sludge, but Keeper do not disappoint in the way they close. This may be the sludge split/collaboration to beat for 2015. FFO: The Body, Catacombs, Sea Bastard (W.)


Ambassador-Gun-Tomb-of-Broken-Sleep

Ambassador Gun – Tomb of Broken Sleep (Independent) [Grindcore]
Listen

I’m not going to claim to be the Toilet’s leading expert on grind (or anything really, besides butt-centric flash fiction). All I know is that when I hit play on Ambassador Gun’s “Invaders,” there was a bunch of loud noise and screaming, and then everything was hazy for a bit, and then I found myself standing amidst the trashed remains of my living room. I felt satisfied afterwards though, so I’ll count that as a good thing. I can see Tomb of Broken Sleep potentially making year-end lists (my own included); though it sits on the cleaner side of grind, the songwriting is more than competent, the production is full, and it’s incredibly pissed. Look for it this Wednesday on their Bandcamp, with physical releases to come later this summer. (Spear)


Al Azif – Sombras Sobre Una Pared Calcinada (Rock-CD Records) [Death Metal]
Preview

Alchemy Crystal – Kyuuen no Eishyou (Independent) [Power Metal]

Autarcie/Baise Ma Hache – Ultra Ritual (Purity Through Fire) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ultra Ritual” (Autarcie)

Black Leather – Sin Cuerdas (Independent) [Black Metal]
Stream

Bodybag – Predominance of Insanity (Living Dead Society/Unholy Prophecies/Noise Not War) [Grindcore]
Listen

Crusifire – Garden of Fire (Independent) [Thrash]
Stream

Cuff/Disfiguring the Diseased/Embryonic Devourment/Macropsia/Splattered Entrails – s/t (split- Morbid Generation Records) [Brutal Death/Grind]

Defect Designer – Ageing Accelerator (Sleazy Rider Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “The Terrible,” “Crusaders”

Ectovoid – Dark Abstraction (Hellthrasher Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Mental Netherworlds,” “The Expanse Between Slumber and Death”

Enertia – Piece of the Factory (Tribunal/Divebomb) [Thrash]
Listen to “Demons of Silence,” “Beside You, Beside Me”

Fferyllt – Achanterez (Fire Light Records) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Call of the Wild”

Furtherial – Un Mondo Infinito (Wormhole Death/The Orchard) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Beneath the Stars”

Gurthang/Beyond Life – Melodies of Sorrow (Cimmerian Shade Recordings) [Black Metal/Doom]
Listen to “Heavy Rain” (Beyond Life)

Gutalax – Shit Happens (Rotten Roll Rex) [Grindcore]
Listen

Hatevömit – Necrövömit (Underground Resistance/Satanath) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Howling Rapture of Mighty Death”

Hellbastard – Feral (Patac Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “We Are Coven”

KLLK – Between the First Heliocentric Wind and the Great Devourer of Light (Mithra! Infrasound) [Doom]
Listen to “Antithesa Mahatma”

Merkfolk – The Folk Bringer (Art of the Night Productions) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Topielica”

Mourned By Flies – Far Beyond the Grave (Independent) [Melodeath]
Preview

Ommadon – Empathy for the Wicked (Golden Mantra) [Drone/Doom]
Stream

Orchid – Sign of the Witch (Nuclear Blast) [Doom]
Listen to “Sign of the Witch”

Organ Dealer – [Visceral Infection] (Horror Pain Gore Death) [Grindcore]
Stream

Paul Wardingham – The Human Affliction (Independent) [Instrumental Prog]
Preview

Powerwolf – Blessed & Possessed (Napalm Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Armata Strigoi”

Prophets of Saturn – Retronauts (HeviSike Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Retronaut”

Ragnaröek – Dornig (Trollzörn) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Trinkfest 5-4-3-2-1”

RazorRape – Orgy in Guts (Rotten Roll Rex) [Goregrind]
Listen

Red Razor – Beer Revolution (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “Wish You Were Beer”

Reverie – Bliss (Invictus Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Blood in the Sea”

Serrabulho – Star Whores (Rotten Roll Rex) [Grindcore]
Listen (NSFW)

Sweet Cobra – Earth (Magic Bullet Records) [Sludgy Punk]
Listen to “Future Ghosts”

Trojan – Archaic Dimension (Sepsis Records) [Death Metal]
Preview

Undercode – Post-Apocalyptic (Independent) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Driven,” “Final Fight”

Volcano – Melt (Metallic Core) [Thrash]
Preview

Wülfhook – The Impaler (Tribunal Records) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “The Impaler,” “Brutal Nightmare”

Zombie Death Stench – Infected (Turkey Vulture Records) [Death/Groove Metal]
Listen to “Warbeast”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, and VIA)

  • GUTALAX!!!! GUTALAX!!!! GUTALAX!!!!

    GL

    https://f1.bcbits.com/img/a1739610410_16.jpg

  • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

    Global music release dates shifted to Fridays, effective July 10th. What will become of this column???

    • Dubzlinger

      We know 🙂 We’re just going to keep running it on Tuesdays but post the release dates.

    • Spear

      As the column covers everything that comes out for the week, the day of the week it runs on is largely arbitrary.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Couple of good answers below but I’ll add that there’s hardly any point in shifting the columns date since the smaller labels remain unaffected by this change.

  • Crusifire!
    You’ll get caught up in the…
    Crusifire!

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51VZf3UTLcL._SX425_.jpg

  • Guacamole Jim

    Who knew Dischordia’s shows were so… fecal? Now I really need to see them.

    Immortal Bird is fucking ripping. Great shit.

  • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

    Bodybag >>>>>>>>>>

    If you dig a bit of OSDM in your grind then definitely get on that new Bodybag. Dopi is on drum & vocal duty just like he was in Machetazo. RIP.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5LA-3NlhJg

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • Happy Birthday: TovH turns one-year old today!

    http://www.toiletovhell.com/welcome-2/

  • Maik Beninton™
    • CyberneticOrganism

      10% Off Renaissance Faire Tickets When You Buy At Walgreens!

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        haha, always…

    • Spear

      I could have given them a pass for the music being subpar, but that video pushed them so far into lolbuttz territory they’re going to need fucking Marco Polo to get them out.

      • OldMetalHead

        Love the plastic chain mic cord.

        • Spear

          It really completes the high school Shakespeare production look.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *guy offstage flips lightswitch on & off really fast for strobe light effect*

          • #beentheredonethat

          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

            Fog machine = one of the member’s trailer park aunt chain smoking Patty and Selma style.

      • Stockhausen

        Just stopping back in to commend you on your opening. A golden ray of sunshine.

    • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

      GAH!!!!!!!!!!! I’m guessing by the title of the song, they’re singing about tapioca pudding?

      • Vladimir Poutine

        That was my conclusion.

    • Rob M

      Awesome…LARPers!

      also..violinist is cute, so they have that going for them

  • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

    Saw Ambassador Gun at MDF a few year back. They played blast beats. Blast beats are good.

  • Dagon

    I’m at the gym rn so all i can say is Spear knocked it out the park, as usual, and all the featured releases seem solid. That Immortal Bird >>>>

    Jamming my favorite Red Fang song: Throw Up.

  • DCLXVI

    Thanks Tuesday!

    • Roll Coal, Son. (RFI)

      GL

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        MURICA BRO, JUST FUCKING MURICA….

        • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

          Now excluding New Jersey, where coal rolling is banned.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            We still live free and roll coal with gubment regalation…its just the cost of freedom. ROLL ON!

          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom
          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Thats fucking beautiful man….

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Thats fucking beautiful man….

          • Normally I’d say poetry is for women and small-handed men, but this one gets a pass.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            agreed slam brochacho! a freekin greed… (lol small handed men always cracks me up)

          • Normally I’d say poetry is for women and small-handed men, but this one gets a pass.

          • ANNEXATION IS THE ONLY RESPONSE

          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

            Or bury them in sweet sweet coal roll smoke!

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            it so sweet, it really is soo very sweet…sweet like victory.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            the only RATIONAL fucking response

  • The Chode Is Red…

    High Tension’s 2nd album came out a couple days ago, I’m digging it..

    https://youtu.be/5t8GbcTtnq0

    • Pretty groovy. I like her cleans better than her dirties.

      • Lacertilinger

        She destroys rooms, believe me.
        Physically and aurally.

    • Lacertilinger

      These guys & Karina absolutely tore shit up when I saw them with King Parrot down at Wollongong. She was crowd surfing and in the tiny pit the whole gig, sang Shit On The Liver with her too!
      Did you ever listen to their old band The Young & The Restless?

      • The Chode Is Red…

        The name rings a bell, as well as their Satan video, but I’m not 100% sure.

        I definitely remember seeing this live HT video a few years ago and hoped to see more.

        Fast forward to last week, I read a Bully review and realised they had another album as well, so I dived on in…

        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FBiupRz4SI0

        • Lacertilinger

          JJJ were playing them for a little while during their time. Make sure you catch them live if you get the chance, if only for Karina Utimo’s amazing stage presence. She is tiny in stature but HUGE in every other aspect.

  • OldMetalHead

    That new Orchid song is doing it for me.

  • KJM

    Prophets Of Saturn = stoner fun

  • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

    Black Leather is doing it for me. Fucking Chile man.

    • Dubzlinger

      Yo, Immortal Bird has a lady vocalist. And d-beats

      • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

        I gave the first song a go here. Just not feeling it doc.

        • Dubzlinger

          I don’t know why I try anymore.

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            Sorry man.

          • Dubzlinger

            We still tight

        • Dubzlinger

          jk it’s cool

      • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

        Might have to check that out later.

        • Dubzlinger

          Do it. Infinitely better than Steel Panther.

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            I can agree with you on this.

          • Dubzlinger

            Ha! I just like it when I find something you like.

          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

            That’s not saying much. I like some of their stuff, more because I, and you may have never guessed this about me, have an infantile sense of humor more than anything.

          • Le Tapir The Based

            You have been able to keep it pretty subtle.

          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom
          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom
  • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

    Might check out the new Powerwolf. They have some decent songs here and there.
    Discovered this fucking AWESOME band last night and have had it on repeat ever since:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vxsHiVOJEU
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JibjPanz3g

    • This is weeb powermetal. Kill me.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      FOR GREAT HAPPINESS OKAY

  • QUICK. WE MUST ASSEMBLE THE GROUND TROOPS – THE KOALAS ARE COMING

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mde814eLNK1qb5gkjo2_400.gif

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      Shes lucky that’s not one of the brain eating variety of koala! DEM DROP BEARS will drop in on yo ASS!!

  • I remember liking Ambassador Gun’s last one. They remind me of Nasum on this song.
    http://youtu.be/dw1jpJAesAc

    • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

      There was like 15 people in the crowd when I saw them. Shame, because they ripped!

      • I hate when that happens. Saw Antigama in May and there were more people there for the openers than them. Those people missed out because they killed it that night.

    • RustyShackleford

      Never listened to them before but this is awesome. Fun video too so I will definitely explore some of their shit today! Yep.

  • I did not know Sweet Cobra had something new coming out. It sounds different but still good. The video is very interesting as well.

  • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

    Huh… I went to check out Ommadon, but found this instead on their bandcamp page. Pretty rad phycedelic stoner doom/rock.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twb20aeCNJE

    • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

      @KJMKerrAvon666:disqus You might dig.

    • Maik Beninton™

      Just with that song title you can tell this is “I ate a cactus and went on a mystical journey metal”.

      • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

        Ha. They just jammed to one bass line and just let the drums and guitars improvise the whole 16 minutes.

        • Maik Beninton™

          It makes it even more trippy.

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            Yes. I’m enjoying it.

          • KJM

            As am I.

      • KJM

        More like “I smoked a poppy and warped into uncharted space” Metal but yeah, pretty much.

    • old_man_doom

      That cover art is damn cool.

  • Rob M
    • Dubzlinger

      Ooh, that’s awesome art.

      • Rob M

        From their 2012 album…Fractured in the Timeless Abyss.

        Good stuff, worth checking out

        • Lacertilinger

          I’m liking what I hear from the upcoming album.
          Going to try and remember to turn it when it arrives

  • Keeper. me want.

  • Immortal Bird’s got some pork chops!

  • CT-12

    Listen to Wulfhook

  • Vladimir Poutine

    Is this the first This Toilet Tuesday in which the story had a happy (I think?) ending?

  • Virgil the Ghost Poet

    Zombie Death Stench sounds smelly.