This Toilet Tuesday (6/23/15)

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You lie awake in the wee hours of the morning staring at your ceiling. Sleep won’t come; your encounter with the stranger at the show last night replays in your mind over and over. Earlier that week, you bought shirt from a band you had never listened to, but you liked the design. You foolishly decided to wear it to last night’s show. When someone complimented it, you explained why you got it. The stranger’s smile turned to disgusted scowl. He uttered one word before walking away, a single venomous word that still rings in your ears. He was right; there’s no point in denying it. You have become what you hated most, that one horrible word: “Poser.”

There’s only one way to make this right, you think to yourself. You stand up and walk to the bathroom with grim determination. There’s only one place that posers belong. As you lift the seat and kneel down, you give a final nod to the toilet that has served you well all these years. You stick your head face-first into the water, your long hair spreading across its surface. Before you can have any second thoughts, you blindly reach for the handle and flush. The placid waters become a raging whirlpool around you, its tepid embrace pulling you ever downwards to a breathless oblivion.

Suffer not the poser to live. This is Toilet Tuesday.


ayybyssal

Abyssal – Antikatastaseis (Profound Lore) [Death Metal]
Stream

Want a good reason to check out the Facebook group? Abyssal’s new album Antikatastaseis has been making the rounds over there, and everyone (even noted music-hater Christian Molenaar) agrees that this record is the cat’s pajamas. The group has seriously stepped up their game with live drums and weird, unexpected instruments, creating a harrowing and often off-kilter album that will drag your sanity into the murkiest of depths. FFO: Portal, Mitochondrion, AEvangelist (W.)


blayyze of perdition

Blaze of Perdition – Near Death Revelations (Agonia Records) [Blackened Death]
Stream

While browsing through the list of new releases, a Polish song title caught my eye. The nation with the sixth largest economy in the European Union has been exporting some absolutely killer metal the last couple of years (Embrional and Abusiveness have both been making the rounds on the Facebook group), so I trusted my instincts and clicked the link. I’m glad I did, because Blaze of Perdition have joined the ranks of boiiing-worthy extreme metal for 2015. Tasty and emotional riffs aplenty, folks. FFO: Desolate Shrine, Watain, Erebus Enthroned (W.)


brayyking benjamin

Breaking Benjamin – Dank Before Dawn (Hollywood Records) [Butt Metal]
Listen to “Failure” (or stream at iTunes Radio if you really, really hate yourself)

Remember when you were a young lad or lass and Breaking Benjamin had that song in Halo 2? Wasn’t that so cool and perfect? No, it wasn’t. Now, the worst part of your Halo memories (other than 10 year olds threatening to throat diddle your mom) is back with a new album or something. I don’t know. I thought it would be funny to write about it but then I realized I’m writing about Breaking Benjamin and goddammit. Instead of listening to this album, how about you just toss yourself in a pit of carnivorous lizards? It’ll probably be catchier. (Leif Bearikson)


unleash the ayyrchers

Unleash the Archers – Time Stands Still (Napalm Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Tonight We Ride”

My first experience with Unleash the Archers was on their last full-length, Demons of the Astrowaste, and I wasn’t really sure how I felt about them. The singer was undeniably powerful, but lacked restraint. The riffs were good, but the songs disjointedly meandered through what I thought were too many ideas for a single tune. For everything they did right, there was one little thing that prevented me from fully enjoying the album. That said, with “Tonight We Ride,” I am absolutely sold on Time Stands Still. It encompasses everything I love about power metal: soaring choruses, blistering leads, and that self-aware cheesiness that pervades the genre. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. (Spear)


Aasgard – Obscurantist Purification (Unexploded Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Invocation to the Infernal Shadow”

Abaton/Viscera/// – Diade(ms) (Drown Within Records) [Post-Metal/Sludge]

Ad Hominem – Antitheist (Osmose Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Go Ebola!”

Airlines of Terror – Terror From the Air (Goressimo Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Terror From the Air”

Alldrig – Departure (GS Productions) [DSBM]
Stream

All Out War – Dying Gods (Organized Crime Records) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Nothing Left to Bleed”

The Black Atlas – Devils (Independent) [Ambient/Experimental Rock]
Stream

Carnivora – The Vision (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “A Vision in Red”

Cultes Des Ghoules – Rise of Lucifer (Hells Headbangers) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Rise of Lucifer”

Dagoba – Tales of the Black Dawn (Verycords) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Born Twice”

Dendera – Pillars of Creation (Metalbox Recordings) [Power Metal]
Preview

Descane – Impossibility (Deathfans Records) [Tech Death]
Listen to “Victim of Slavery”

Eyehategod/Psycho – Eyehategod/Psycho (split- FOAD Records) [Doom/Sludge]

Fleshdoll – Blood Red District (Great Dane Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Forgotten Winter – Vinda (SlowDriver Productions) [Symphonic Black Metal]
Stream
Review

Freedom Hawk – Into Your Mind (Small Stone Recordings) [Doom]
Listen to “Blood Red Sky”

Glowsun – Beyond the Wall of Time (Napalm Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Against the Clock”

Haddah – Path to Nefrath (Kreative Klan) [Melodeath]
Listen to “When Rage and Vengeance Desire Blind the Heart of the Mighty Berserker”

Horytnica – Pod Znakiem Miecza (Independent) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Wyklęci”

Human Serpent – Inhumane Minimalism (Self Mutilation/Nebular Winter/Funeral Chants) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The World in Coffins,” “Starving Void Upon Earth”

Isenmor – Land of the Setting Sun (Independent) [Folk Metal]
Stream

Isvind – Gud (Folter Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ordet”

Jail – Government Terror (Genesis Merchandise & Production) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Destroy the Government”

Kadavrik – Grimm I & II (Testimony Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Kingcrow – Eidos (Sensory Records) [Prog/Alt-Metal]
Listen to “At the Same Pace”

Kontagion – [R-!-E]LENTLESS (Infernum Media) [Superfluously Punctuated Metal]
Preview

Lord – What Tomorrow Brings (Dominus Records) [Power Metal]
Preview

Milking the Goatmachine – Goatgrind (NoiseArt Records) [Goatgrind]
Listen to “#Idiot”

Nomad/Wort – Nomad/Wort (split- Red Valley Records) [Sludge]

Pro-Pain – Voice of Rebellion (SPV/Steamhammer) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Age of Disgust”

Psychophobia – The Fall (Metal Scrap Records) [Black Metal]

Reklaw – Ecce Tabernaculum (Schwarz Klang Produktionen) [Black Metal]

Rosetta – Quintessential Ephemera (Golden Antenna/Init Records) [Post-Metal]
Listen to “(Untitled III)”

Sacrilege – Ashes to Ashes (Pure Steel Records) [Heavy Metal]

Satanic Ripper – Southern Black Spells (Blood Harvest Records) [Black Thrash]
Stream

Solstice Coil – Commute (Taklit Music) [Prog Metal]
Stream

Sonic Poison – Sonic Poison (Lifeline Records) [Punk]
Stream

Throneum – CACOMethamorphosen (Witching Hour) [Black Metal]

Thy Art Is Murder – Holy War (Nuclear Blast) [Death Metal/Core]
Listen to “Light Bearer”

To/Die/For – Cult (Massacre Records) [Gothic Metal]
Listen to “In Black”

Torment of Abyss – …iii.O.SSS – M.C.R.A.N. (Black Abyss Productions) [Black Metal]
Preview

Uskonrauha – Tympeyden ylistys (Bestial Burst) [Black Metal]
Stream

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

  • DCLXVI

    thank you

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    1st vid mute–2nd vid full vol (both at once)
    -https://youtu.be/j4tZINJBKbU

    -https://youtu.be/wedrJdHGHFM

  • Tyree

    Oh goddamn, motherfucking new Cultes Des Ghoules! BYAH!

    New Abyssal album should be on its way to my mail box sometime this week. Album is insanely good, GETZ ON THAT!

    • even pleb listener @James_Jimmy_Mcnulty:disqus likes the new Abyssal

      • The W.

        I expect it and Leprous to have massive crossover appeal between our various lists.

        • Hubert

          Leprous is one of my favorite albums from this year. I’m almost certain it will be on my list.

        • Dagon

          I need to spin the new Leprous more. Even I like the new Abyssal and I usually don’t partake on that kind of sound as much as you guys do.

      • Scrimm

        Uh oh, now I’m skeptical.

      • Pretentious is Kvlt O)))

        Vocals are 0/10 on the Patton scale. Song lengths are 7/10 on the Iced Earth scale. 8/10 tryhard points total.

    • DCLXVI

      the “creature” on the cover has a boner

    • sweetooth0

      Cultes Des Ghoules still got it!

      • Brent Hinds

        Goddamn right they do.

  • KJM

    Jail >>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • *listens to Breaking Benjamin first to spite Ryan Leif Bearikson*

  • Abyssal + Blaze of Perdition will keep me busy today, hail the terlet, spewing forth frothy dank tunage.

  • music’s not bad, but hrm…………………..
    http://www.metal-archives.com/images/5/1/2/4/512444.jpg

    • Scrimm

      I don’t know what’s worse, the “artwork” or the band name.

      • Tyree

        They should just be called “United Airlines”.

        • Scrimm

          Fuck yeah. Those assholes smashed one of my guitars.

          • Tyree
          • Herr Schmitty

            Bruh. So many. Seen more dicks than a record-breaking gang bang.

            This isn’t bragging. Just an explanation for why my soul is broken.

    • Sweet mother…

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      Jeez this artwork is awful. It makes the new Slayer artwork look like a goddamn masterpiece.

    • Void Dweller

      Is this real??

  • Maik Beninton™

    That Goatgrind video rules.
    lmao/10

  • Shrimp in a Pizza Box™

    I really liked Unleash the Archers for about 1 minute, before what I shall now call a reverse-siren opened that foul hellhole (not a compliment). Abyssal is definitely really good. I really liked the intro this week.

    • Dagon

      I really liked Spear’s blurb until I read “power metal”. I then moved on with my life.

    • Spear

      lol’d at “reverse siren”

      Her voice took me quite awhile to warm up to.

  • I listened to Jail because I wanted to hear how awful a song callled “Destroy The Government” would sound like. They did not disappoint.

  • Stanley

    This is a good week. Isvind, Cultes des Ghoules and Blaze of Perdition to name just a few. That Cultes des Ghouls sounds like someone getting tortured. In a good way of course.

    • Spear

      I was enjoying Isvind as I was going through everything, but I didn’t have time to give it a proper listen. Sounded pretty good, though.

      • Stanley

        There last one, Daumyra, is great and the first two songs that they posted on their FB page have been very good.

  • Dagon

    In case you need anyone else to tell you that you need to check out Abyssal’s new album, let me tell you:

    You have to check out the new Abyssal album.

    With that said, my kingdom for a link to the EHG split. Thank you all.

    • Maik Beninton™

      I’m searching right now but I can’t find a place where is streaming.

      • Spear

        You can stream it on their Bandcamp

    • tertius_decimus

      This album just smashed my face.

      Perfect argument against those, who says “metal is dead”. I haven’t heard anything so evil in a long while…

  • Spear

    This week on Toilet Tuesday: W gets weird, Spear writes about something nobody will listen to, and Leif makes bad life decisions. So pretty much a normal week.

    • I’m listening to it right now, ya fuck.

      • 365 always save the day :’) He’s my hero.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          What about ME?! 🙁

          • You’re very rude in hell and all of that. You’re a hero in my books too! 😀

      • Lacertilian

        for research right?

    • The W.

      Dangit. We need to start mixing things up a bit.

    • HEY!

      I’m going to listen your pick after To/Die/For, I’m not a nobody e_e)

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      dont forget the dank memes….

    • Jasper Ringoldsby

      I fucking love Demons of the Astrowaste. “Daughters of Winterstone”, “Battle in the Shadow of the Mountain” and “Ripping through time” are so much fun to drive around to. I am very excited for this new album of theirs.

      • Spear

        I’ll have to revisit that album sometime.

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Speaking of new releases and reissues the reissues of the War catalog came out today. I’m very excited to buy them.

  • I thought this band was gone o.o) I remember when I was a young half-elf and buy some merol magazines in the Ye Olde Bazaar in my town and I always wanted to hear them. I think I will check them out. Thanks for the hard work, Toiletters:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR9WvWCoUeU&feature=youtu.be

  • Dagon

    Sometimes images speak louder than words, or music:

    https://f1.bcbits.com/img/a2486291274_10.jpg

    • They’re telling me:

      DON’T LISTEN TO US.

      • Dagon

        I’m listening to it right now. It’s alright black thrash but I guess there’s better bands in that sub.

    • Tyree

      I like em. Listened to this the other week.

      • Dagon

        I thought it was ok.

        • Tyree

          Yeah, nothing crazy. But, I’m a sucker for some simple straight of evil sounding thrash.

          • Stanley

            I’m with you, but either my speaker is on the fritz or this album has some of the thinest guitar tone that I’ve heard in a while. I’m going to go and get my headphones to see if it makes a difference.

          • Dagon

            Did you get the one you wanted? I bought that Sony SRS-X3 and I loved it. The not being able to charge while it uses would be annoying but due to my schedule/listening habits it hasn’t been a setback.

            It would suck if I wanted to throw parties on it, though.

          • Can you put reggeaton on it? o.o)

          • Stanley

            I got the Fugoo but it was in the other room. I was listing on my computer speakers. I like the Fugoo. The sound is pretty true and not overly bassy like the Bose. You can also play it while it’s charging. The Sony one that you have is good too. They are both fine for listening at your desk but are obviously not gonna win any awards at a rave.

    • Hubert

      Not in black and white. poser/10

  • That Milking The Goatmachine vid is 100% ignorant. Worth watching.

    • The W.

      I was going to blurb about them, but the music wasn’t actually that good, imo. The shtick wore off pretty quickly.

      • Dagon

        I guess they are really milking the goat machine, huh?

      • I appreciate the outright stupidity that went into it. I got a good laugh out of it.

    • Dagon

      Lucifer + Ice Cream + Portugalian accents

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjX5sryFiBI

    • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

      You had me at ‘100% ignorant’. *falling over my own two feet to check it out right now*

  • Spear, what’s your complaint with the vocalist? I think she’s good. I still don’t feel myself listening to them (really high vocals annoy me, when they are used too much) (and, no, Rob Halford doesn’t count on that, because he’s awesome and he really varies it).

    • Spear

      Just something about the tone of her voice. I don’t really know how to describe it. That said, she sounds much better on the new album than the last one.

  • Guacamole Jim

    I did not know To/Die/For was back together! Ah, the angsty high school memories…

    • While others were trying to be tuff. Young Link was all gloom and misunderstaning. Memories, indeed…

      • Maik Beninton™

        Young Maik was very lonely, and still is but not so much.

        • At least you have the Toilet and a plank of wood in your head.

      • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

        My teenage years for the most part were a total waste of time. My life didn’t begin until I turned 19 and moved to Chicago.

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      This new song from them rocks.

    • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

      I liked them, but haven’t heard them in ages. I reviewed a promo CD of their’s I got way back when. That Cutting Crew cover (I Just Died In Your Arms) was supreme lolbuttz though.

  • HOLY CRAP!

    This Abyssal stuff is good!

    • The W.

      It’ll make you see purple, Link.

      • It’s very very dense. It’s like being in the ocean at night with just a faint light of the moon in the sky.

        It’s weird. It isn’t completely oppresive as Dodecahedron or Portal. They have similar structures, but they are doing another thing, I think.

        • Dagon

          There’s more melody in the guitar work, I think that might be the difference you’re hearing.

          • Word. I’m pretty impressed with the melodic lines.

          • You’re right.

            In the end of the second song there’s a more open section with more ambience that twisting dissonance.

            If I stop Foobar2000 to listen a streaming in Bandcamp it’s because it’s special, to me 😛

          • Dagon

            Had to google Foobar2000; it’s been all about bandcamp and Spotify for me lately. Spotify Brasil offers a good price that I can afford.

            One day I’ll be able to buy shit on Bandcamp again.

          • That’s my soundplayer of choice in my laptop and my PC work, because it’s lightweight and I can’t scrobble to lastfm. I was using Spotify, but the college I work limited the bandwith again and it runs very bad and with a lot of lag; I was using a VPN, but it’s no working now.

            If Spotify ever in their life wants to open their services to Venezuela, I will go again with them.

          • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

            I’ve only bought one thing on there so far (that Winter cd that Link showed us).

          • is Foobar2000 your maracaibo reggaeton player?

          • OMG, NO!

            (In secretly I use it for this:)

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad2iw329NZI

          • KJM
          • Tyree
          • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta
          • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

            The music playing behind Link as he hears you say that and shows up at your door:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFa1-kciCb4

  • The W.

    Clicked play on Solstice Coil. Something just sounds very, very off about. They sound like Europeans trying desperately to sound American.

  • Tyree

    That Alldrig album cover looks like it could be a pop album cover.

    https://f1.bcbits.com/img/a3235208600_10.jpg

    • The W.

      I clicked play on it yesterday. It sounds a bit poppy too, but it isn’t bad. Sort of light and airy.

  • Herr Schmitty

    Saw Breaking Benjamin headline once (opener: Smile Empty Soul. I made bad decisions as a teenager.) and they weren’t terrible… they just weren’t good either. I’ll stand by the album Saturate and none of the rest.

    Suffice to say I won’t be checking out the new ish there.

    • I saw them open for Monster Magnet. They covered a little Primus in between songs, so they’re ok in my book.

      • Herr Schmitty

        Oh, not bad! I’ll give Ben himself some credit; dude can play some guitar. Radio rock doesn’t quite offer him a format to show it off.

      • Dagon

        Monster Magnet >>>>>>>

        carry on

        • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

          “I’m never gonna work again, God told me to relax”. Classic lyrics!

    • Leif Bearikson

      So Cold (or whatever the fuck) was the perfect pre-Internet-metal-snob high school jam

      • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

        I’m even more glad that I made good musical decisions as a teen (one of the few good decisions I made as a teen)! Nu metal and all that flew right over my head, thankfully.

      • Herr Schmitty

        It was; that was a good song! I own that album as well; it just wasn’t as good, start to finish, as Saturate was IMO.

    • CT-12

      I’m personally not really a fan of Breaking Benjamin, but a friend of mine who taught me some drum shit growing up auditioned to play drums for them last year, but didn’t make the cut. It actually pissed me off because the guy is more than capable of doing it, but he kept second guessing himself and overall didn’t seem too into joining them. Hopefully, that was an interesting anecdote to include…

  • Guacamole Jim
    • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

      At least the album art is good. Behind it though lies a whole treasure chest of lolbuttzification.

  • Stanley
  • Stanley

    That Ad Hominem track is some fist pumping NSBM that will be sure to rustle someones jimmies.

    • It rustled my jimmies that I’m listening someone telling me the symptoms of the Ebola.

      • Stanley

        Those lyrics <<<<<<

        • Terribad.

          At least the punk break is good.

          And, well.. I continue listening Abyssal n_n)/

    • Spear

      Oops, didn’t even realize that. I only stayed on the page long enough to copy the link.

    • Lasagna with Smegma Ricotta

      Lol, Ad Himen!
      Most likely skipping that one.

  • My face when… I like something that Christian Molenaar likes:

  • tertius_decimus

    Abyssal immediately gained top rank in my 2015-chart.

    I haven’t heard such heavy, relentless, evil and atmospheric death metal in a long while. No words can describe what I’m feeling now about this astonishing music!

    Total worship.

  • Jock Strap Full Of Macaroni

    Lol, buying a shirt simply because I liked the design is partly how I got into death metal! I bought a Suffocation (Effigy Of The Forgotten) shirt back in ’95 from a flea market because I liked the design. And lo and behold, one of the guys at my school, Justin (who I still talk to), noticed and asked. Told him I never heard them, and that I just liked the design. He bummed me a copy of ‘Pierced From Within’ and BAM!!!

    Definitely snagging that Forgotten Winter stuff this weekend, and let it snuggle right next to some Summoning (I’ve been listening to ‘Let Mortal Heroes Sing Your Fame’ almost nonstop) and Blut Aus Nord! Giving Abyssal and UTA a listen a little later.

    • tertius_decimus

      Summoning t-shirt is in my dream list.

  • john

    Unleash the Archers has really piqued my interest.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      That is a great band name.