This Toilet Tuesday (5/19/15)

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You haven’t played many gigs you would consider outright bad, but this was definitely one of them. No matter which way you slice it, tonight sucked. You thought an all-ages show might be cool; despite the lack of booze at the venue, there was the potential to play to a wider audience than usual. That didn’t happen; you had to sell tickets at $15 apiece, and with only local bands on the bill, the crowd was doomed to be thin. On top of that, the promoter never showed up, sending his younger brother in his stead (who collected the cash for ticket sales and “forgot” to pay everyone at the end of the night). The sound tech’s half-hearted mix job didn’t help anything, though you imagine a good mix wouldn’t have grabbed the attention of any of the core-lite kids in the audience. Clearly you don’t have enough synchronized bouncing in your stage performance. This shitshow wasn’t your fault, and you want payback.

As you finish loading up your gear and are heading back to use the bathroom, you hatch a plan. You head down some stairs into a surprisingly grungy bathroom (given that this “venue” is in a church’s basement) and lock the door behind you. You close the seat cover, remove the lid from the back tank, drop your pants, and squat over it. Moments later, your revenge is complete. When you’ve finished your business, you replace the lid and flush. “Justice,” you rasp out in your best Batman impression as chunky brown water rushes into the bowl. Your work here is done.

You are the hero we need on This Toilet Tuesday.


perennial isolation

Perennial Isolation – Astral Dream (Darkwoods) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Memory”

Are you the kind of person who feels overwhelmed in urban environments? Do you spend most of your vacations traveling through wooded glens and/or hunting trolls? Would your friends, if you have any, describe you as a bit of a downer? If so, Perennial Isolation is for you. Somber chords meet lamented shrieks with an interesting splash of syncopated rhythms to create the perfect atmosphere for being alone. FFO: Antlers, Everfrost, Windir (W.)


tengger cavalry

Tengger Cavalry – Blood Sacrifice Shaman (Metal Hell) [Folk Metal]
Listen

Last year, Chinese folk metal band Tengger Cavalry released one of my favorite albums. By drawing upon rich Mongolian heritage and using native instruments to accentuate the fairly standard heavy metal attack, Tengger Cavalry succeed where so many other folk metal bands fail. The cultural elements don’t seem hokey or tacked on, and the band’s rich soundscape transports listeners to an ancient land of battles and bravery. Do not skip this band. FFO: Nine Treasures, Eluveitie, Arkona (W.)


yzordderrex

yzordderrex – Clear (Speed Ritual Records) [Doom]
Stream

There is an eternal gratefulness from the Toilet to Jared Moran for singlehandedly saving his state. This mad genius behind an unholy amount of projects once again proves that his quality and quantity can go hand in hand; the new album from yzordderrex is only a few months behind the last one and it absolutely rules. It is a positively filthy ode to all that is unclean, offering a gloomy and dissonant atmosphere while raspy groans echo across the landscape. This shape-shifting beast requires plenty of patience, but any fan of hideous doom will be pleased to sit back and wallow in the grime. (Stockhausen)


vorum

Vorum – Current Mouth (Sepulchral Voice) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Current Mouth”

As we approach mid-year, you can bet that each week for the foreseeable future will be jam-packed with releases. It’s not easy to find the gems among the rubble, and sometimes you just have to pick things based on weird album names, such as Current Mouth. I don’t know what Vorum had in mind for the meaning behind that name, but I do know that the title track absolutely rips. The vocal quality recalls some classic black metal influences while the music would put many death metal bands to shame with its pure, straight malice. This song sounds like it means you harm. If you like your metal rough around the edges and ready to fight, check out Vorum now. (Stockhausen)


weedeater

Weedeater – Goliathan (Season of Mist) [Doom/Sludge]
Listen to “Cain Enabler”

Look, you know what this is going to sound like and I know what this is going to sound like. I just want you to pay attention to this. Weedeater has never played the slow and drawn out kinda stoner and they still aren’t into it. These are shorter and somewhat angry songs with some southern music and country flavor hidden deep beneath. There’s a whole lot of distortion and groovy playing here. Let’s just go home and jam this. (Karhu)


Adastra – Deadlock (Independent) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “Forgotten Heroes”

Adramelch – Opus (Pure Prog Records) [Prog]
Preview

Albatross – Fear from the Skies (Transcending Obscurity India) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “Jugglehead the Clown,” “The Empire of Albatross”

All Tomorrows – Sol Agnates (La Somba Records) [Djenty Death Metal]
Listen to “Eiden”

Artaius – Torn Banners (Bakerteam Records) [Folk Metal]
Preview

Crystal Ball – Liferider (Massacre Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Eye to Eye”

Demon Head – Ride the Wilderness (Caligari/The Charming Man/Wolf Biker/Smokedd) [Doom]
Listen to “Book of Changes”

Discreation – Procreation of the Wretched (FDA Rekotz) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Planetary Punishment”

Doomed – Wrath Monolith (Solitude Productions) [Doom]
Listen to “Paradoxon”

Emerald Sun – Metal Dome (Fastball Music) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Screamers in the Storm”

Entrails – Obliteration (Metal Blade) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Obliterate”

Eschaton – Sentinel Apocalypse (Unique Leader) [Tech Death]
Listen to “Falsified Existence”

Etiolated – Grey Limbs, Grey Skies (Armus Productions) [Doom/Sludge]
Stream

Eversin – Trinity: The Annihilation (My Kingdom Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “Chaosborn”

Faith No More – Sol Invictus [Alt-Metal?]
Stream
Review

Fragile Existence – Cataclysms and Beginnings (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Cataclysms & Beginnings”

Gôr Mörgûl – Heresy (Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Indoctrination”

Guardians of Time – Rage and Fire (Wormholedeath) [Power Metal]
Preview

Gutter Instinct – The Insurrection (Prosthetic Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “The Invisible Hand”

Hammer King – Kingdom of the Hammer King (Cruz del Sur) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Kingdom of the Hammer King”

Harmony – Remembrance (Ulterium Records) [Power Metal]
Preview

Ilsa – The Felon’s Claw (A389 Recordings) [Sludge]
Stream

Ionic Bond – Amavashya Lore (Incursion Music) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Amavashya Lore”

Ironsword – None But the Brave (Shadow Kingdom Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Forging the Sword”

Kanseil – Doin Earde (Nemeton Records) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Panevin”

Killer – Monsters of Rock (Mausoleum Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Monsters of Rock”

Livhzuena – Dark Mirror Neurons (Klonosphere/Season of Mist) [Progressive Thrash]
Listen to “Shadows and Matter”

Majesty in Ruin – All Light Shall Fade (Shadow Kingdom Records) [Doom]
Stream

Mendel – Oblivion (Independent) [Instrumental Tech Metal]
Stream

Montes Insania – Absurdum (Symbol of Domination) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Absurdum”

Nex Carnis – Obscure Visions of Dark (Nightbreaker Productions) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Darkened Rites of Existence”

Nibiru – Padmalotus (Argonauta Records) [Sludge]
Stream

Osculum Infame – The Axis of Blood (Battlesk’rs) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Kaoist Serpentis”

Pyramaze – Disciples of the Sun (Inner Wound Recordings) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Disciples of the Sun”

Revolting – Visages of the Unspeakable (FDA Rekotz) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Fathoms Unto Forever”

Royal Quest – The Tale of Man (Independent) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Days of War,” “Rising Empire”

Rùsùah – Hitam Putih (Hitam Kelam) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ant”

Secrets of the Sky – Pathway (Metal Blade) [Doom]
Listen to “Three Swords”

Seyminhol – The Wayward Son (Brennus Music) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Act II Scene 1: The Mantle of Madness”

Subconscious – Veil (Independent) [Progressive Death/Thrash]
Listen to “Veil”

Tales From Beyond – Putrid Realm (Independent) [Death Metal]
Stream

Triaxis – Zero Hour (Rocksector) [Melodic Metal]
Stream

Under the Abyss – A Future to Behold (Send the Wood Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Wrath of Nantosuelta”

Valborg – Romantik (Temple of Torturous) [Progressive Doom]
Listen to “Comtesse”

Valkyrie – Shadows (Relapse Records) [Doom]
Stream

Varulv – Wolfszorn (Talheim Records) [Black Metal]
Preview

Venomous Maximus – Firewalker (Shadow Kingdom Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Through the Black”

Xul – Extinction Necromance (Independent) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Orbit of Nemesis”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • Tyree
      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Damn right. Nightmare inducing.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          30 seconds in and I’m kinda terrified.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Good.

      • life = changed

      • Hubert

        This is something else.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        GAH!

  • INDUBITABEARD

    W, you always have the best recommendations for me

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Dude has pretty good taste.

      • The W.

        Neeeeeeeh

      • Hubert

        Decent, alright, not bad.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          The resident President Doctor definitely does not have bad taste.

  • The W.

    Valborg is dope too. If you like Type O, gothic cathedral, and doom, that’s your thing.

    • RustyShackleford

      Lol at decibel starting out with: “Despite some unfortunate hairstyle choices” But still cool shit, you had me with the Type O comparison.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Oh yes, very much liking that Valborg, even though the logo spells it VALBORV

  • Man, I thought Adramelch was a typo at first. Flush that nerd junk.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sswPvaFyaYQ

  • Scrimm

    Grabbing that Entrails today. Also, Revolting>>>>>>>

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Dat Secrets of the Sky, bruvs.

    • cosigned!
      (and the whole thing is streaming somewhere on the intarwebz…)

  • Guacamole Jim

    I love me some Chinese folk metal. Tengger Cavalry is a great listen. Thanks, Dubs.

    • Hopefully they’re more chinese than Ghost Bath

      • The W.

        I’ve written about them a few times here Randall. They’re the real deal.

      • Tyree

        Only Ghost Dad is real.

        • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

          That was Bill Cosby’s lowest moment (well, that and the whole rapey thing). Now, Leonard 6? There’s high art!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJX-4yTlWXM

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Such an abortion and a total “what the fuck?” movie.

          • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

            And another reason MST3K should still be around (with Joel. Fuck Mike up the asshole with a cold steel dildo).

          • CyberneticOrganism

            The creepy part of this video is the way the artifacts begin slowly crawling over Ebert’s face and seem to stay there, like his face is being devoured by voidworms.

          • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

            Voidworms is the next big thing on TOH!!!!!

    • Hubert

      It’s a re-recording of their debut right?

      • The Beargod

        Yes. A lot better too. One of the few cases.

        • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

          Wouldn’t be saying alot since it sounded exactly like a low budget demo before. Still kick fucking ass though, and still better quality than Fartthrone.

          • The Beargod

            This new is a lot better doofus.

  • Tyree

    So, there is a band named Killer, and they have a song and album called “Monsters of Rock”.

    Neat.

  • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

    Fuck yeah, definitely checking out the new Tengger Cavalry, Entrails and Crystal Ball! And mmmmmmaaaaaaaaaayyyyybe breaking down and getting one of them thur Bandcamp thingies you whippersnappers keep hootin’ and hollerin’ about.

  • For you dudes who have not checked out Venomous Maximus, fantastic doomy heavy metal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NDXNmqPNGs

  • Guardians of Time was supposed to come out like a week ago. It’s still not out. You can’t buy it or stream it anywhere.

    WHY, PLEASE I NEED THIS ALBUM

    • Beau Kemp

      Your avatar is from the book cover of “A Memory of Light”. I’ve not ready any of the Wheel of Time books but recognized it.

  • The Beargod

    Vorum (RFI, fuck disqus)

    • I am sweating uncomfortably just looking at this. Can’t imagine how shitty this guy must feel.

    • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

      Is that Bruce Campbell?!

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Well, so far this nipple has learned two new things today:
    1. Mongolian Folk Metal is a thing.
    2. I digs me sum Mongolian Folk Metal.
    Thank ya Dr. President Dubya and ToH crew. Cool stuff.

  • My first pick is Entrails, it’s very good! (Stupid consuming time activities, couldn’t help in This Toilet Tuesday T_T)

    Also, this:

    “Are you the kind of person who feels overwhelmed in urban environments?”

    Uh, yes..

    “Do you spend most of your vacations traveling through wooded glens
    and/or hunting trolls?”

    Heeeey, I need to hunt some trolls 🙁

    “Would your friends, if you have any, describe you
    as a bit of a downer?”

    Kind of!

    If so, Perennial Isolation is
    for you.

    Yay!

    “Somber chords meet lamented shrieks with an interesting splash
    of syncopated rhythms to create the perfect atmosphere for being alone”.

    Thanks, Dubidubz. It’s very good!

    Also, that Guardians of Time is interesting!

    Awesome list for this week!

    • Entrails is a ton of fun live, at least their pit was at MDF last year

      • You will probably dig their new record, Randy mi amigo.

        I listened to it full yesterday and it was good, to me.

        • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

          Especially if you like Entombed. They practically ooze Entombed influence.

          • Yeah, Randy loves Swedeath too.

            What I liked it’s like a mix of the more melodic side of Entombed, but it’s still crushing. I have the feeling that I would spin that album a little more. Very fun.

  • Stanley

    Osculum Inflame is pretty good. The feedback is mildly grating though. Whoever it was that was complaining about feedback the other week should stay well away.

  • The W.

    Was there an HD comment a few minutes ago? I was going to tell him that Tengger Cavalry do in fact sell CDs. I have one of the previous album. You can order them from their store.

    • “FUCK OFF!” –Howard Dean

      Yes, there was a comment. For some reason, it’s pending.

      Also: damn, I’ll have to check their website! I did a.Google search and checked their bandcamp, but didn’t see links to any CDs for sale. Thanks!

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Holy shit, anyone see this yet? Fuck.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      The Bdubs Bro will review this STAT

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Get on it.

    • Welp, time to end it. Seeya.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        You know what to do.

    • RustyShackleford

      Should’ve titled it GETCHAPULL

    • brotal

    • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

      Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more low brow than King 810 (then again there’s Atilla and Emmure).

    • Lilo’s Penis Tornado (KJU)

      Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more low brow than King 810 (then again there’s Atilla and Emmure).

    • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

      What does “Got Your Six” even fucking mean?

      • Tyree

        SIX PACK OF KEYSTONE LIGHT BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

          SIX? SIX! WHOOOA! I just a six pack of Keystone Light on the side UHTHA ROAD! DER GO! Six pack! Shoosh.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          HELL FUCKIN YEAH BRO! YOU WASTED?! I’M TOTALLY FUCKING WASTED!!!

          *runs head-first into brick wall at full speed à la Jackass*
          *cracks open skull*
          *bleeds to death in driveway*
          *body defiled, urinated upon by stray dog*

      • OldMetalHead

        If directly in front of you is 12 o’clock, then someone who has your 6 has your back. I think it came from military artillery.

        • Winner.

          Maybe they should make military service compulsory in the States like it is in many other countries.

          • OldMetalHead

            I always thought they could virtually eliminate gang violence if they:
            1. Legalized Marijuana to cut down the profit.
            2. Give all of those hot heads discipline by requiring military service.

          • I don’t smoke marijuana but it should be at the very least decriminalized. It’s just not a BFD for grown men and women who aren’t slangin’ dimebags to kids on the playground. I’ve done it before long ago and IMO it shouldn’t be any more illegal than alcohol consumption and distribution.

          • I don’t smoke marijuana but it should be at the very least decriminalized. It’s just not a BFD for grown men and women who aren’t slangin’ dimebags to kids on the playground. I’ve done it before long ago and IMO it shouldn’t be any more illegal than alcohol consumption and distribution.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Valid question. I expected it to have a gun, like a sixshooter or something.

        • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

          I agree. Probably some war reference.

      • JW(E)G
        • Mother Shabubu III 12 BRICKS

          12 Bricks > Got Your Six. 12 Bricks has six more bricks than the six you got.

    • john

      But… but…. Why would the sword/machete thing have cutting teeth on both sides? It wouldn’t be sharp, you could never slice through anyth–fuck, never mind.

    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      What the fuck were they thinking?

  • Maik Beninton

    Hammer King, coming out next on a video breakdown.

  • “FUCK OFF!” -Howard Dean

    Update #1: Tengger Cavalry apparently do sell CDs. Thanks Dubya.

    Update #2: Just found out Dark Descent will be getting copies of the new Forum. Byah!

  • Maik Beninton

    All Tomorrows are pretty good, but those vocals.
    http://replygif.net/i/189.gif

    • Bunk Moreland

      handsome mothafucka

  • Maik Beninton

    All Tomorrows are pretty good, but those vocals.
    http://replygif.net/i/189.gif

  • tertius_decimus

    Don’t miss Mendel – Oblivion. Great stuff.

  • OldMetalHead

    The new Weedeater is pretty sick. Thanks to Dagon for mentioning it to me.

  • Beau Kemp
  • Beau Kemp
  • Lacertilian

    Great intro @disqus_4cmy05mgrZ:disqus, you never disappoint!