This Toilet Tuesday (5/12/15)

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You feel like you’re going crazy, but you swear the happenings of the last week haven’t been in your head. It seemed innocuous at first; cold drafts in the middle of the day, finding objects in places you could have sworn you hadn’t left them, and the occasional bump or creak. These sorts of things are normal for an old house, though, and your hectic workdays have left you a little scatterbrained. Then it became more malevolent. You cleaned your bathroom last Thursday and found the toilet filled near to the brim with rancid manure an hour later. Six new rolls of toilet paper were torn to shreds and scattered around your house on Friday. A fresh fecal odor hangs on the air throughout your house, and no amount of air freshener will mask it.

It all started around that time you were browsing a forum for amateur horror writers last Wednesday. You’ve been on a horror movie kick lately, but had never read a story and this seemed like a good place to find recommendations. Most of the stories were trite and predictable, but there was one that stood out to you, a short anecdotal piece that seemed almost fervently honest. A piece that spoke of a nightmare born in secret of malice and filth, a creature who only shows itself to those who know of its unholy existence: the Babadookie. You thought it was just a story at the time, but recent events have been a little too real for you. You try to come up with a reasonable explanation for everything when you are startled from your musings by a tremendous flushing sound from above you. The only toilet in the house is on the first floor. Shaken, you grab a flashlight and go up to the attic.

You cast your flashlight around the room. Everything seems in order; there’s not much to hide behind up here. You turn around to leave when you see a shadow move in the corner of your eye. You whip around quickly, flashlight held aloft. What you see makes you want to scream, but you can only rasp out a dry cough. A tall, skinny manlike creature stands before you. His body is wrapped in a long coat, obscuring all but his long fingers and his face. His slimy brown skin seems to be dripping from his body, his black eyes bulged, his mouth twisted in an unnaturally wide grin full of rotten teeth. You drop the flashlight and bolt down the stairs and towards the kitchen. You throw open a drawer and grab a knife. Before you can turn around, you feel a hot, wet hand on your shoulder. It turns you around slowly; you are too fearful to move. The creature is bent down, its sickening grimace inches from your face. You try to escape, but its grip is surprisingly strong. Snaking its long fingers between your lips, it pries your jaws open. Its body stretches out as though it were rubber and it begins to slide down your throat. The taste is horrendous; your body tries to expel it, but you can only choke as it makes its way down. As the creature’s feet disappear into your mouth, you can feel it taking over. Helpless, you watch through eyes that are no longer your own as you walk to the toilet, stick your head in, and flush. Your body contorts as his did, dragged forever into the murky depths.

The toilet will consume you. Fear it. This is Toilet Tuesday.


pummelung

Metsatöll – Pummelung (Spinefarm Records) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Pummelung”

You have two ways of creating folk metal: go for the cartoonish beer’n roll, berserker battle metal or go for the conservative traditional usage of regional instruments to make the melodies. Estonian metallers Metsatöll are known for being a powerful brethren that plays with the last example. While the metal bouncy feasty rhythm of Pummelung, the preview song of their new EP, can be uplifting, it’s the inclusion of flutes, kannel and torupill what gives it a whole new texture, and, of course, the sing-along chorus with the exotic inflexion of Estonian language. If you like melodic folk metal with stone-natural vibes, I recommend it to you! (Link)


fire of the north

Varang Nord – Fire of the North (Metal Scrap Records) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “As Men Poured Ale,” “Blood For Blood”

On the other spectrum of folk, the battle metal of Varang Nord strikes like a furious pack of angry warriors searching for fights, beer and beef. With a more direct and punchy approach to the genre, Fire of the North is a record to crank if you need massacre anthems of pagan might with a harsh voice and chanting drunken . The galloping guitar/bass tandem is accompanied by a pounding drum that exarcebates the fighting, headbang and the medieval vibes of the songs. Recommended if you like to have some Amon Amarth, Thurisas and Finntroll on your library. (Link)


fuck the fist

Fuck the Facts/Fistfuck – Fuck the Facts/Fistfuck (split- PRC Music) [Grindcore]
Listen to “Skid Etiquette” (FTF), “Posigrind” (FF)

Canadian grind warriors Fuck The Facts beat you up real good. I gave you a heads-up before but now it’s become reality. We all love FTF, we all loved their Abandoned EP last year, and we are all pleased to hear that this split does not deviate from it’s quality. What it does deviate from is the weedilies and skronk-ness found on Abandoned for neither is really to be heard on either of these streaming songs (here’s a soundcloud only stream of Nukestalgia from the EP). Fistfuck on the other hand… well, pretty much exactly the same words can be said. Quality grind you must check. (Beargod)


bathsheba-the-sleepless-gods-10

Bathsheba – The Sleepless Gods (Svart Records) [Doom]
Listen to “The Sleepless Gods”

Svart Records releasing quality doom? No way man. Belgian bath-addicts jointly known as Bathsheba are releasing an EP of heavy and melodic doom and if you dig heavy or riffs or melodies or fuzz you should check it out. Unless you’re a poser who opposes all things slow, in which case you’ll be listening to this and dying by my hand. Unfortunately the vocals feel a little unfitting at times. (Beargod)


earth's disease

Void Paradigm – Earth’s Disease (Apathia Records) [Progressive Black Metal]
Stream

Let’s face it: the slowly shifting, groove-oriented approach that many djent bands rehash relentlessly isn’t a bad idea in principle. But when every band recycles the same tired ideas with the same stupid Axe-FX tone and their same tank tops, it sucks. Luckily, Void Paradigm are not even close to a djent band, so their use of punchy, broad, odd-time grooves is anything but cliché. That sexy bass tone locks right in with the kick drum, and the guitars and vocals are free to meander through fresh tonal ideas and vitriolic rage. Then without warning, the trio will blast through a black metal verse, slow back to a sludgy, ugly crawl, then crawl through a quiet, haunting clean section. To sum up, this album employs ideas from all across the metal spectrum, and in truly refreshing ways. When I sit down to wrestle with my year-end list, I expect this to be a contender. (Stockhausen)


fucking gnomes bruh

Those Darn Gnomes – The Years (Independent) [Avant-garde Death Metal]
Stream

I’m a sucker for the “avant-garde” tag. I’m also a sucker for monstrous white-boy fros, but that’s another story. Those Darn Gnomes live up to their genre with amorphous riffing, captivating vocal variety, and tonal exploration. Throw in some eclectic instrumentation, fuzzy, mid-range guitar tone, and excellent sectional variety and you have yourself an album that challenges listeners in important ways. I love straight ahead, kick-in-the-chest metal as much as the next guy, but there comes a point where we as music consumers should ask ourselves, “Ok, what else is there?” Then the universe will lean down and whisper back, “Gnomes, bro. Those Darn Gnomes.” (Stockhausen)


holy shit giant deer

Antlers – A Gaze Into the Abyss (Vendetta Records) [Black Metal]
Stream

This is the forest primeval, an ecosystem in a state of primal balance. There are the hunters and the hunted. Life feeds on life, and the cycle coils forever onward, subject only to the whims of the eldritch gods who carved this alien landscape as a sacred temple wholly separate from the contrivances of modern man. Antlers reign supreme in this pantheon, doling out harsh justice to unwary interlopers in the form of chthonic growls that reek of aeons of rot, electric bolts of blackened riffs, and austere, stately drumming. This is a testament to the wild, dangerous, foreboding, and captivating. FFO: Agalloch, This White Mountain, Drudkh (W.)


aeon of the shadow goddess

Forgotten Horror – Aeon of the Shadow Goddess (Woodcut Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Behold a Shadow Goddess,” “Babalon Emissaries”

Forgotten Horror seem to be summoning an arcane, unspeakable evil on this album by applying a catch-all cultish approach of twisting all things magickal into one sonic ceremony. It’s a strange approach that at times makes “Behold a Shadow Goddess” sound as though the band is just throwing every idea they have at the wall in hopes that something sticks. Surprisingly, between the choral chants, Tool-esque rhythms, and blackened shrieks, it works. This is a strange album that doesn’t hit as hard as some other black/death releases this year like Desolate Shrines, but some of you are sure to love it. FFO: Nile, Blood of Kingu, Desolate Shrines (W.)


entheogen

Corpse Garden – Entheogen (Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Portal to the Oneiric,” “Suspended Over the Abyss”

I’ve been waiting for this album since last September when “Suspended Over the Abyss” dropped and when it was still going to be called Ecdysis (before some other band got theirs out first). Their slightly more melodic take on OSDM ideas combined with that oh-so-sweet fretless bass playing had me hooked from the start. “Portal to the Oneiric” sealed the deal with its big chugging central riff and whirlwind fills. In short, it was totally worth the wait. (Spear)


Alcoholator – Escape From Reality (High Roller Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Cursed by my Thirst”

Alda – Alda (Sickmangettingsick Records) [Folky Black Metal]
Stream

Amputory – Ode to Gore (Xtreem Music) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Enslaved in the Basement”

Angmaer – Towards Darkness’ Paradise (UKEM Records) [Blackened Melodeath]
Stream

Ars Irae – Dunkle Klänge (Quality Steel Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Dunkle Klänge”

Black Talon – Endless Realities (Wasted State Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Lunatic Fringe”

Burstin’ Out – Outburst of Blasphemy (Heavy Forces Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Speed Hounds From Hell”

Chains ov Beleth – Christeos Chaos (Satanath Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Black Wings Spread Wide”

Curse Upon a Prayer – Rotten Tongues (Inverse Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Rotten Tongues”

The Dead Goats – Don’t Go In the Tomb (Arachnophobia Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Deathkings/Rozamov – Deathkings/Rozamov (split- Midnite Collective) [Doom]
Listen to “Solomon” (Deathkings)

Ebony Wall – Time (Onevision) [Power Metal]
Preview

Exotheria – Angels Are Calling (Underground Symphony) [Power Metal]
Preview

Exussum – False God Evolution (To the Head Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Bodies in the Bog”

Groteskh – CODE: END (Cursed Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Delusions of Immortality”

Grotesque Deity – Bloodrealm (Infernal Devastation Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Hyperwülff – Volume One: Erion Speaks (Taxi Driver Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Hypothermia – Svartkonst (Agonia Records) [Post-Black Metal]
Listen to “Efterglöd”

King Parrot – Dead Set (Agonia/Housecore) [Grindcore]
Stream

Luciferian Rites – When the Light Dies (Moribund Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “When the Light Dies”

Metalmorphose – Fúria dos Elementos (Urubuz Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Vá pro Inferno”

Munarheim – Stolzes Wesen Mensch (Independent) [Symphonic Black Metal]
Listen to “Stolzes Wesen Mensch”

Nightmare World – In the Fullness of Time (Pure Steel Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “In Memoria Di Me”

Obsequiae – Aria of Vernal Tombs (20 Buck Spin) [Black Metal]
Listen

Omnia Malis Est – Viteliú (Hidden Marly) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Viteliú”

Orakle – Eclats (Apathia Records) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “Aux éclats,” “Humanisme vulgaire”

Rage Darkness – Engine of Misanthropy (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen

Retaliatory Measure – Levels (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Perdition”

Signum Regis – Through the Storm (Ulterium Records) [Power Metal]
Preview

Solis Occasum – Unholy Faces of Dead (Hass Weg Productions) [Black Metal]
Stream

Soulsteal – Tenebris (Independent) [Djent]
Listen to “Focus on your Beasts”

Spite – Trapped in the Pentagram (Iron Bonehead) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Desecration Rites”

Terrordome – Machete Justice (Defense Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Back to the ’80s”

Veil of Maya – Matriarch (Sumerian Records) [Djenty Deathcore]
Listen to “Mikasa”

Vinegar Hill – Monophobia (Independent) [Melodeath]
Stream

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    New, yet to be released Stone Magnum.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCUnoh3MC5E

    • The vox take some getting used to for me but this is actually alright.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        What’s your issue with the vocals?

        • They’re not bad…they just take some getting used to. IDK how to explain it.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Fair enough.

      • ok, it’s driving me bonkers… who does the vocalist sound EXACTLY like??

        • got it! Warrel Dane from Nevermore

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Yeah, good point.

          • Spear

            Halfway between Dane and Jack Black.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          No clue.

        • I thought the same thing. When we figure it out we’re going to be kicking ourselves in the ass because it’ll seem so obvious.

    • The W.

      This is pretty good.

  • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

    That Antlers album artwork is really doing it for me. It’s got an atmospheric feel to it.

    • Cosigned.

    • EsusMoose

      I just the like that there is a gigantic elk that looks like the one on aggalloches album.I butchered that name

  • Is Veil of Maya considered “deathcore?”

    I hope not because I saw them a couple years ago and I’m loath to admit to seeing a deathcore band 😛

  • Belgian Bath lovers Bathsheba+Dat intro:

    http://cdn.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/scared-gif.gif

  • Maik Beninton

    Soulsteal is pretty good.

  • The W.

    Babadookie.

    I’m dead.

    • Scrimm

      that’s what I referred to the movie as after I saw it. I tried, I really did. Watched it again a few days ago.

      • The W.

        You win some, you lose some. I still enjoyed it.

        • Scrimm

          It just really makes me wonder what I’m mossing that made so many othr people just love it. It’s all right up my alley. Oh well. Last year was a weird year for genre films in my opinion anyway.

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            If you look at the Babadook for what it is actually which is NOT your typical monster movie, but a huge metaphor for a greiving mother reaching the psychological breaking point because of her constantly pushing down her grief, Then its a pretty damn good movie. Id classify the movie more psychological thriller than a horror film.

          • The W.

            Same

          • Scrimm

            I certainly don’t go into a movie all the time hoping for a “typical” monster movie(or whatever I’m going to see might resemble, and I’m not disappointed when that’s not what I get. Many of my favorite movies are in the horror genre but aren’t conventional or turn the genre on its ear, I.E Let Me In. Also I’ve worked with many a challenged child and just as many parents on the edge of losing their shit, so I would have thought I would be more empathetic to the whole story in this one

          • The W.

            Sometimes the pieces are all there bu the picture still isn’t clear. I’ve felt the same way about albums I should love.

  • Tyree

    Strange, I’ve had that Antler’s album for over 2 weeks now. It’s been out for about a month. Either way, great album.

    • The W.

      Yah, it says on band camp that the digital release was a while ago.

    • Spear

      It was probably a physical release this month. Occasionally, I goof.

  • The Insolent by Antigama was released between last Tuesday and this! (it’s rill gud)

    • Spear

      Aww yeuh.

      Stream (for anyone too lazy to go find it themselves): https://selfmadegod.bandcamp.com/album/the-insolent

    • yaaaasss

    • Tyree

      It’s either Vulcano or Antigama at MDF. I choice Vulcano.

      • Dean the P.I. Staker

        This is the correct choice.

        • Tyree

          There are so many overlapping bands. This one was a no-brainer.

          • Dean the P.I. Staker

            I think that’s part of my fear of attending a multistage festival. I just know there’d be a situation when two bands like Svartidaudi and Bolt Thrower happened to be playing at the same time, and I would cry.

          • sweetooth0

            The choice between Ghoul or Bloodbath is killing me. That said, probably gonna hit up Ghoul, the new Bloodbath didn’t really blow me away.

  • tertius_decimus

    Those “Those Darn Gnomes” are skronky as the deepest void of the Universe.

  • Tyree

    I can get on board with this new Solis Occasum.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9uWHQ-SCKY

  • RustyShackleford

    Oh fuck. Forgotten Horror is super tight! Definitely weird but catchy. I’ve never listened to Desolate Shrines, so I guess I’m supposed to go do that now huh?

    • Scrimm

      The new Desolate Shrine is awesome.

      • RustyShackleford

        I’m jamming it now and I dig. Don’t know why I never listened to them before!

        • Scrimm

          The older stuff is good too but they really stepped it up on the new one.

  • OldMetalHead

    The Forgotten Horror track is sick. I will have to explore this further. I was also pleasantly surprised by the Alcoholator. Finally, the intro story, LOL. Good Job!

    • tertius_decimus

      Cosigned.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Bathsheba was a sweet listen! Not quite what I expected, but that’s a good thing.

    • Exactly this.

      I was expecting monotone droning drooling doom.

      I get something better. I want to hear it full, now!

      • Guacamole Jim

        The vocalist definitely took it to the next level.

  • Kapsberger

    Sadly, the Obsequiae album (which is very good–I have the promo) has been pushed back to the 26th.

    • Spear

      Duly noted. I’ll make sure it’s on the list that week.

  • Guacamole Jim

    If you haven’t gotten Those Darn Gnomes, feel bad about your life. That album kicks ass.

    • tertius_decimus

      True words were spoken.

  • And also A NEW ALDA ALBUM OMG IS THIS REAL?

  • Maik Beninton

    Anyone else checked Soulsteal?
    Their sound is a mix of death and doom with djent.
    I really recommend it.

  • Dean the P.I. Staker

    Damn. I didn’t realize Alda was releasing new stuff. Tahoma was an absolute masterpiece. For me, that was the last great album of the “atmospheric/cascadian” that petered out about three years ago.

    Unrelated: I’ve been super into EPs this year. I think the shorter format has been more conducive to enjoyment in a time of more limited listening/exposure capacity. I’m gonna preorder that new Vorum EP later today. Uh huh.

    • CT-12

      Can you find the link where you can actually get the album?! I’ve been looking through their webstore and they keep saying the only album they have is “Tahoma” and it’s out of stock.

  • Stockhausen

    Next level intro, Spear. Just watched The Babadook a couple days ago.

    • Spear

      I still haven’t actually seen it, though I’ve been meaning to. I just thought of the pun and decided to roll with it.

  • Actiondonkey

    Turisas > Thurisas

  • The W.

    Either one of my high school kids got me sick, or I got food poisoning. I feel like Babadookie today. Gonna jam Antlers and try not to think too hard.

    • RustyShackleford

      baba baba BLEGHHHHH AKLSJFD AKLSFJLSJFLKDFJS

      like that?

    • Stanley

      That sounds dodgy, W. The solo towards the end of the last track, Memories of the Extinct, should make you feel better.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

      Antlers was good, but I think I’m enjoying Alda even more.

      • The W.

        I need to check that out tomorrow.

  • Welp, i was gonna do corpse garden on TDT. Time to find a replacement. Also, buy corpse garden. Edit: According to bandcamp it drops on the 15th

    • OH WA A A A AH!!

    • Double down, man. I am sure you will find little resistance if you do!

      GL

    • Spear

      Oops. You could probably still do it. I didn’t go very in-depth with them.

      • Yea but there’s also the fact there’s only 2 songs available atm so I may wait a week or so

  • JamesGrimm
  • Corpse Garden got my name your price dollars

  • The Beargod

    Äääääähhhhhh!!!!

  • this singer for Rage Darkness sounds like he’s trying really hard to grunt out a poop.
    It’s definitely not death metal….to many clean guitars and sing-songy bridges and interludes…sounds like gothenburg scene

  • J.R.

    If it smells like crap and looks like Snookie, you can’t escape the Babadookie!

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

    Fog, trees and a mountain? Oh you know I’m going to listen to Antlers.

  • Lord Flashheart (aka KJU)

    I’m gonna have to check out Those Darn Gnomes just for the name alone.

    http://i.huffpost.com/gen/790161/images/o-ZOMBIE-LAWN-GNOMES-facebook.jpg