This Toilet Tuesday (2/9/16)

You’re awakened by the grating tone of your alarm clock. You fling your arm across your chest, knocking the offensively loud machine to the floor. Groaning, you shuffle out of bed and prepare for work. Your head is still hazy from a long night of celebration; you recently got a job offer that’s going to pull you from the purgatory of the retail world. A good night to be sure, but the aftereffects are only just beginning. I’ve done worse, you think to yourself as you haphazardly pull out of your driveway and head to the store.

Four hours later, you wish you were dead. Your drunkenness has turned into a nightmare of a hangover, and the store is only just opening. You silently mutter a prayer for minimal customer interaction to whomever might be listening, fighting back the overwhelming urge to vomit. The gods are clearly punishing you, however; a young woman with a baby basket approaches you shortly after the doors open. She hurriedly asks you if you have any of the sale diapers, and you bring her to the empty shelf. She immediately lays into you: “What’s the point of putting them in the ad if you’re not going to sell them?” Her tirade only intensifies as you try to explain that items like this go quickly, and things escalate further when the baby wakes up and starts crying. Your concentration broken by the compounding stress, your stomach flips over. Before you can react, you feel the bile spew forth in a fountain of filth straight into the baby basket, filling it to the brim. The woman stops shouting, horrified, and you hurry out the door. Maybe you’ll skip the two week’s notice.

Make your weakness your weapon. This is Toilet Tuesday.


lamentations

Lamentations – Echoes in the Wind (Metal Helm) [Progressive/Tech Death]
Listen to “Fortress,” “The Battle Is Not Yours”

Somebody needs to tell Lamentations that they’re doing tech wrong. This type of music isn’t supposed to make me feel things, unless those things are… I dunno, whatever space swirls feel like. I don’t know what made them think that an emotionally charged, sometimes even vulnerable performance was a good idea, because there’s obviously no place for that in this genre. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just be over here thinking about awesome TECH stuff, like aliens and guts and sweep picking and not self-reflection upon what a shallow and pointless person I am. *cries* 2/13/16 (Spear)


sorrow plagues

Sorrow Plagues – Sorrow Plagues (Independent) [Atmospheric Black Metal]
Listen to “Fade,” “Aspirations”

This is the second time I’ve covered Sorrow Plagues for Toilet Tuesday, which is pretty rad. If you aren’t familiar with this band, they play a fusion of black metal and shoegaze that is ethereal, pained, and often spellbinding. And like the very best bands in the genre, their heaviness is derived from the emotional weight rather than the extremity of the music itself. If you aren’t scared to get a little vulnerable and see what sort of torment lies beneath, don’t miss this.  FFO: Violet Cold, Alcest, So Hideous 2/8/16 (W.)


hands of despair

Hands of Despair – Bereft (Deathbound Records) [Death/Doom]
Stream

Want a second dose of vulnerability and emotional turmoil? Hands of Despair have just the thing, though their take on the torment is decidedly different from that of Sorrow Plagues. In this death/doom assault on your senses, you’ll be treated to clean acoustic passages, pensive singing, and heart-string yanking riffs. There’s a beautiful balance of light and shade that makes for a wholly convincing and authentic take to heartache. I’m feeling things, and I hope you start feeling things too. FFO: Opeth, Shape of Despair, Katatonia 2/9/16 (W.)


camel of doom

Camel of Doom – Terrestrial (Solitude Productions) [Sludge]
Stream

I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when clicking play on an album by a band called Camel of Doom, but I couldn’t resist. Luckily for us, any sense of novelty ends with the name. The music is serious, heavy, and thoughtful. Large doses of death metal and hateful sludge make this an immensely enjoyable brand of doom, and I was very pleased with the variety and experimental edge. This camel knows what it’s doing. 2/8/16 (Stockhausen)


Abysse – I Am the Wolf (Independent) [Progressive Metal]
Listen

Atretic Intestine – Trail of Entrails (Coyote Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “From Within” 

Beyond the Black – Lost in Forever (Airforce1 Records) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “Lost in Forever”

Bloodbound – One Night of Blood (live album- AFM Records) [Power Metal]

Caverna – Abismo (Independent) [Black Metal]

Crossing Rubicon – No Less than Everything (Pavement Entertainment) [Hard Rock]
Listen to “Unhinged”

Cultus – Gezeteld in zegeruïnen (Heidens Hart Records) [Black Metal]
Listen

Doom Architect – Sententia Prima (Independent) [Death/Doom]

Flummox – Selcouth (Tridroid Records) [Weird Doom]
Listen to “The Ghost of Ronnie Dio”

Gabriels – Fist of the Seven Stars Act 1 – Fist of Steel (Independent) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “Seven Stars”

Gehennah – Too Loud to Live, Too Drunk to Die (Metal Blade Records) [Black Thrash]
Listen to “Too Loud to Live, Too Drunk to Die”

Holy Grail – Times of Pride and Peril (Prosthetic Records) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen

Human Parasites/Mortuus Sum – Shadows of the Forthcoming Devastation (split- Profanorum Productions) [Black Metal]
Stream

Illusions Dead – Celestial Decadence (Indpendent) [Blackened Death Metal]
Stream

Lost Society – Braindead (Nuclear Blast Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “I Am the Antidote”

Mindtech – Edge of the World (Tritech Music) [Prog Metal]

Myrath – Legacy (Nightmare Records) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “Believer”

Ravensire – The Cycle Never Ends (Cruz Del Sur) [Heavy Metal]
Stream

Rotting Christ – Rituals (Season of Mist) [Ritualistic Heavy Shit]
Stream

SkeleToon – The Curse of the Avenger (Revalve Records) [Power Metal]
Preview

Throne of Heresy – Antioch (The Sign Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “God Delusion”

Ulgard – From the Northmen’s Cry (Endless Decrepitude Productions) [Ambient Black Metal]
Listen to “From The Rocks”

Unbowed – Dogma (Black Element Productions) [Blackish Melodeath]
Listen to “Besieged”

Urgehal – Aeons in Sodom (Season of Mist) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Sulphur Black Haze”

Vingador – Let the Hate Flow (Dark Sun Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Let the Hate Flow”

Vipassi – Śūnyatā (Indpendent) [Instrumental Prog/Tech]
Stream

Within Destruction – Void (RNR) [Death Metal]
Listen to “An Unforseeable Anomaly”

Zephaniah – Reforged (Tribunal/Divebomb Records) [Power Metal]
Stream

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

Written by:

Published on: February 9, 2016

Filled Under: New Stuff

Views: 1473

Tags: , , , , ,

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Yay, Holy Grail and Crossing Rubicon are out!

  • A pretty “meh” week for new metal. Been jamming this killer band from Norway. One demo and done kind of deal. Quality shit.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qD7WAyvScpU

  • COAL GROHL

    Really disappointed in that new Rotting Christ

    • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

      What’s wrong with it? Haven’t heard it yet, but their catalog has been solid as fuck so far. Please tell me they didn’t go the SepticFlesh route and drown everything in too much orchestration.

      • COAL GROHL

        not into the chanting

        • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

          Oh. They’ve been incorporating that for a while now.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Nice.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Sorrow Plagues kinda sounds like there is a one-person indie atmospheric band playing on a stage right in front of me, and about 700 yards away, a black metal band is also playing, but a totally different song. It’s kinda neat?

  • intro triggers a flashback of working Office Depot on a new year’s day, when they opened at 9 AM. and people were lined up outside the door

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Whiteboard supplies are no joke, McNutly

      • Dubs

        Markers are a hot commodity in an academic department. You’d better bring your own and keep track of them, because someone WILL steal them.

      • true, there were lots of improvements upon the 2007 model

    • I WORKED AT OFFICE DEPOT, TOO. OMG WE’RE THE SAME PERSON.

      • Ann i see you’re purchasing some colored pencils, would you like an office chair to go with that? i recommend the warranty too

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      PTODS

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      There used to be an Office Depot near me. It’s turning into a Staples now.

      • I don’t know what to do with this information, son.

        • RJA

          invest wisely?

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I remember going to the Office Depot to get school supplies before I graduated. Now they’re hiring for the new Staples so I’m going to apply.

  • COAL GROHL
    • Eliza

      Sounds promising.

    • tertius_decimus

      6 Malmsteens out of 10.

  • New Zvi album feat. guest vocals from Alan Duban (Khanate, Gnaw)
    http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2016/02/zvi_mem_kayo_do.html

  • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

    Camel of Doom is hands down the best band name I’ve heard in years

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      Camel Toe of Doom has a sinister void like ring to it as well.

      • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

        I dig their “old Mastodon meets funeral doom” vibe on this first track I’m listening to

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          You had me at old Mastodon…

          • Owlswald

            You mean Cameldon?

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Indeed I do…indeed I do.

    • Salvador Dalí Lama

      Band dude 1: “What shall we call ourselves? I like Camel, but it’s already a dad rock band”

      Band dude 2: “Hmm…I got it! What if we were still to go with Camel, but one of doom?”

      • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

        Camel Witch would’ve done nicely. #NeverEnoughWitches4TheToilet

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Stoner Camel.

          • Dubs

            Goatcamel

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Calling dibs on this.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Camelvomit

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Acid Witch Camel Cult

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Black Camel

          • Dubs

            Winter’s Camel

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Camel Death

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            CamelSatan

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            From the Peak of Camel Mountain

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Cvmel

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Witchcamel General

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Cephalic Camelage

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Camel Corpse

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            We Camel as Romans

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Camels as Leaders

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Camelot

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            DAMN IT! i think you just won.

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            I think we were all thinking of using that one, but for once we resisted the low hanging fruit before us.

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            fruit is fruit.

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Indeed it is!

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Cameltopsy

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Megacamel

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Camelforce

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Rhapsody of Camel

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Through the Eyes of the Camel

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            It works so perfectly though.

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Nothing will ever top my response of “Deathspell Omega-3 and Fatty Acids” for play-on-words-band-names.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Haha, nice

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Camel And Ball Torture

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Camel Cunt

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Camelchesh

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            CamelOwaR

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Camel Newton

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Camel Shit On Fuck Mountain

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Shit Camel on Piss Mountain

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Better get a shovel up there

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Black Deathcamel of Doom

          • Camelpenis

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Camelwhore

          • Dubs

            You get some Mardi Gras beads for that comment.

            http://www.mariamedia.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/mardi-gras-beads.jpg

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Haha, right on!

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Now you have to flash him!

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Camel the Band

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Camel Of Filth

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Agoraphobic Camelbleed

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Leftover Camel

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Year of No Camel

          • do one for Clutch

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Umm… Camel…

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            A Shitty Band

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Take that back.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I shan’t.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Please?

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            No.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Okay.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Transnational Camel League
            Camel
            The Camel Riders
            Jam Camel
            Pure Camel Fury
            Camel Tyrant
            Slow Camel to China
            Camel Hive/Exodus
            From Camel Street to Oblivion
            Strange Camels from the West
            Camel Rocker
            Psychic Warcamel

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Damn, beat me to it!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Salvador plz! They’re a very good prog band!

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    New Sorrow Plagues? I am ON IT when i get home

    • This is good.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Fuck, 10 seconds in and I want to murder the world.

        • Mean sounding track! I’m impressed.

          “-Extremely proud to work with this band, a new project from Nidaros, a band you’ll get to hear more from these next few months as there’s a lot going on behind the scenes.”

          TerraturPossessions

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Fuck yes!

      • Dubs

        Whoredom Rife is a pretty good name.

  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    Hands of Despair? Is that what Joe calls his wittle handsies?

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Digging Hand of Despair, digging that you if you buy the physical you get their preceding album on CD with it, for free.

  • Dubs

    Camel of Doom reminds me a bit of Dead Mountain Mouth. There’s a bit more of a sinister vibe to the atmosphere than I was expecting from this band.

  • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

    Definitely checking out the new Myrath after I’m done with the new Dream Theater (which is pretty damn good)! It’ll probably end up being the second Tunisian CD I’ve bought in under two weeks (the other being Persona).

    • Dubs

      I think you’re the only person around here who likes that new DT album.

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        It’s received pretty raving reviews though.

        • COAL GROHL

          the only reviews that matter are the ones here

          • Dubs

            Looks like MI gave it 8.5/10

          • COAL GROHL

            I don’t put much stock in what comes from that camp

          • Dubs

            Nor do I. Was just poking around and was very surprised by all the positive feedback.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            A couple o’ bigger publishing here have given it perfect score.

          • COAL GROHL

            bigger does not always = better

          • Mayk Benynton

            I’m trying to read that review, but it’s too boring, like the album.

        • Dubs

          The Astonishing has received generally positive reviews. At Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 to reviews from mainstream publications, the album received a score of 80/100, based on six reviews.[23] In a perfect review, Record Collector called the album “as grand as anything in the band’s 30-year history” and described the storytelling as “seamless”.[28] Critics were especially complimentary of the band’s willingness to write a long, unconventional album, with AllMusic musing, “Dream Theater have invested in the ‘album’ concept (and in listeners’ attention spans) even as the music biz doubles down on the notion that long-players are merely envelopes to hold singles.”[12] Rolling Stone echoed these sentiments, concluding, “The results won’t please every Dream Theater partisan, nor will they convert the skeptical. But it would take a hard heart to deny Petrucci, co-composer and keyboardist Jordan Rudess and their mates credit for the boldness of their aspirations and the assurance with which they achieve them.”[29] Some reviewers were critical of the album’s concept; for instance, Consequence of Sound described it as “very silly”, but ultimately gave the album an overall positive review.[25]

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            Sounds about right, except for the last one! I give it a 9.5/10 tendies.

      • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

        Most likely. I’m hearing a lot of Images and Words and Angra’s ‘Angels Cry’ on there. Very little widdly diddlies, no 20 minute wank fests, and much more song oriented as well. And Lebrie finally sounds like he’s not singing through a sock full of helium.

        • COAL GROHL

          I&W was chock full of axe-turbation

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            True, but not quite the noodling wankfests that came afterwards.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        He would.

      • Based on my newsfeed, we’re the only people who don’t like it

  • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

    Lolol

    This ladys car im working on, her last name is Congdon

    I donno why thats so funny to me

  • Spear

    Camel of Doom is surprisingly sick. Good catch, Stocky.

    • Dubs

      Flummox was not.

      • Spear

        Yeah… I was intrigued at first, but it fell apart pretty quickly.

  • that Lamentations rules, mr. handsome

    • COAL GROHL

      SMOHLG is here?

    • Scrimm

      As long as the Christianity doesn’t bother you.

  • Lamentations is sweet.

    • Owlswald

      Minus the drum production. Sounds like they just fired up the first preset on the Roland and pressed record.

  • Eliza

    Camel of Doom is great. Never judge a band by its name.

    • Dubs

      What if the name is “Pitbulls in the Nursery”?

      • RJA

        Oh shit, that’s an actual band name? Thought for sure you were joking but looked it up anyways.

      • Sir Tapir The Based
        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          This is not good, but not nearly as bad as their name.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I was expecting far worse.

          • Eliza

            Well, it sounds more like the name for a parody band.

        • Eliza

          The drums sound odd.

      • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

        There was a band I saw on YT months ago called Homophobic Fecalphiliac. They were pretty bad pornogrind, so wouldn’t have taken them seriously either way.

        • Eliza

          I can’t believe the band agreed to name themselves like that.

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            They definitely put more thought into shocking people than their actual music. It’s pretty sloppy and out of tune pornogrind.

          • Eliza

            I don’t care enough to actually check them out. The word “pornogrind” throws me off.

          • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

            You’re not missing anything! It’s not exactly a cutting edge genre. It’s based more on shock than actual musicianship.

    • COAL GROHL

      I really thought Wolves in the Throne Room was going to be a hybrid of Power Metal and Trees n Shit

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    HANDS OV DESPAIR ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • tertius_decimus
    • Eliza

      This sound like something you could hear on the Eurovision.

  • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

    As expected, the new Myrath video/song was pretty badass! Cracking open my wallet for this one later tonight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM1d7C8aOWk

    • Eliza

      Nice song.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    I think Myrath is a trailer for a new Prince of Persia game

    • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

      Or a sequel to Immortals!

  • Owlswald

    Cultus wins for their artwork alone.

  • Waynecro

    Goddamn, man. Lamentations, Sorrow Plagues, Hands of Despair, Unbowed, and Vipassi are really doing it for me.