This Toilet Tuesday (2/24/15)

2452
234
Share:

It’s your second day in Japan. You and a close friend had been saving for months for this trip and you’re finally ready to start taking in the sights. One of the first places you stopped was a small restaurant; you knew that it would take time for your digestive tract to acclimate to a new diet, but that didn’t stop you from binging on sushi and okonomiyaki. Now, here on a crowded street in downtown Hiroshima, you are beginning to feel the karmic backlash for your culinary recklessness. You dash through the crowd into the nearest shop (a dingy hardware store) and shout at the cashier in broken Japanese for a toilet. Looking slightly confused, he points you to an unmarked door in the back. Clenching your buttocks in an effort to hold back the coming tide, you waddle over and push open the door. To your dismay, there is no actual toilet; just a small hole in the floor opens into a pit. Not even a proper squatting toilet. However, you have no choice. You groan and squat over the hole.

Just as you’re about to do the deed, you see the door start to open. “Wait!” you shout, and you try to push the door closed with your foot. You miss and lose your balance. You topple sideways and start to fall headfirst into the pit, but you catch yourself with one hand and feel the restroom intruder grab onto your outstretched leg. Unfortunately, the strain proves to be too much for your bowels, and they finally unleash their fury into the face of your would-be rescuer. Unable maintain his grip in the wake of your shit fountain, he lets go and you plummet into a fetid pool of human waste.

It is in this moment that you realize that there is a god and that he hates you. This is Toilet Tuesday.


a-forest-of-stars-beware-the-sword-you-cannot-see

A Forest of Stars – Beware the Sword You Cannot See (Lupus Lounge/Prophecy) [Progressive Black Metal]
Listen to “Virtus Sola Invicta”

The violin-packing, semi-psychedelic black metallers return to bring some eccentric and slightly proggy adventure metal for your ears. A thick atmosphere, dem hevy feels, and a dash of melody await you. (Karhu)


TAU_CD_cover

Negură Bunget – Tău (Prophecy) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Schimniceste”

“The beginning of the ambitious Transylvanian trilogy”

Some harsh black metal and folky interludes that harken back to the days of “Om” rather than Negură Bunget’s newer releases. Perhaps the most atmospheric this band has been so far. (Karhu)


Carach-Angren-This-Is-No-Fairytale

Carach Angren – This is No Fairy Tale (Season of Mist) [Black Metal]
Stream

Recently I saw someone in the comments claim that they miss music that tells a story. Well, look no further than Carach Angren’s newest This Is No Fairytale. The always goofy, always awesome CA have returned to drop another cinematic narrative experience, this time tackling the nightmarish world of Brothers Grimm-esque children’s stories. But don’t for a minute think that this band is just a joke. The riffs and drums are still razor sharp and brutal. The band just happens to find inspiration in much more interesting themes than the subject matter used by most black metal acts. I, for one, appreciate the entertaining stories, and I’m sure you will too. Stream the whole album courtesy of Decibel. FFO: Dimmu Borgir, Septicflesh, Keep of Kalessin (W.)


a1018918110_10

Pelican – The Cliff (Southern Lord) [Grunge]
Listen to “The Cliff”

I’ve been a fan of sludgy instrumental act Pelican for some time now, so I was actually pretty intrigued that this EP features multiple versions of one song. Even more interesting though is the fact that at least one version of “The Cliff” features vocals by Allen Epley. The song works great with lyrics, and I’m stoked to hear that Justin Broadrick remix. You can jam two of the four tracks over at Bandcamp.. FFO: Russian Circles, Godflesh, Isis (W.)


Melechesh-EnkiLarge

Melechesh – Enki (Nuclear Blast) [Black Metal]
Stream

Melechesh is a band that I recently discovered when they started streaming the new album. I was hooked from the second I hit play. I now have the majority of their discography and cannot wait to add Enki to the collection. Melechesh play black/death metal with a touch of thrash and some technicality thrown in for good measure. This shit fucking rips and you should buy it because Jack Bauer said so! (<———)


Acherontas – Ma-ion (Formulas of Reptilian Unification) (WTC Productions) [Black Metal]
Preview

The Agonist – Eye of Providence (Century Media) [Metalcore]
Stream

All That Remains – The Order of Things (Razor & Tie) [Metalcore]
Listen to “No Knock”

Ambivalence – A Land of Myth & Magic (Endless Desperation) [Doom/Death]

An Autumn for Crippled Children – The Long Goodbye (Wicker Man) [Post-Black Metal]
Listen

Ancestrum – Our Heathen Soil (Misanthropic Spirit) [Folk/Black Metal]
Listen to “Spirits of Unreal”

Aseethe – Nothing Left, Nothing Gained (Bellowing Mass) [Drone/Doom]
Stream

Axolotl – Voices of Luna (Bret Hard Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Prosekturian Dawn”

Bio-Cancer – Tormenting the Innocent (Candlelight Records) [Death/Thrash]
Listen to “Bulletproof,” “Obligated to Incest”

Bleeding Gods -Shepherd of Souls (Punishment 18) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Shepherd of Souls”

Code – Mut (Agonia Records) [Post-Metal]
Listen to “Affliction,” “Dialogue”

Codex – The Peace Paradox (Independent) [Power Prog]
Stream

Crest of Darkness – Evil Messiah (My Kingdom Music) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Sick Things”

Crimson Wind – Last Poetry Line (Pitch Black Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “In Vain”

Crypt Sermon – Out of the Garden (Dark Descent) [Doom]
Listen

Damnation Defaced – The Infernal Tremor (Kernkraftritter Records) [Death Metal]
Preview

Decline of the I – Rebellion (Agonia Records) [Black/Doom]]
Listen to “Lower Degree of God’s Might,” “Hexenface”

Devathorn – Vritra (WTC Productions) [Black Metal]
Preview

Dr. Living Dead! – Crush the Sublime Gods (Century Media) [Thrash]
Listen to “Civilized to Death”

Elder – Lore (Stickman/Armageddon Shop) [Doom]
Listen to “Compendium”

Embrional – The Devil Inside (Old Temple) [Blackened Death]
Listen to “Funeral March,” “In Darkness”

Endlesshade – Wolf Will Swallow the Sun (Naturmacht Productions/Rain Without End) [Funeral Doom]
Stream

Enforcer – From Beyond (Nuclear Blast) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Undying Evil”

Enthrone the Unborn – LXXVIII (57 Records) [Melodeath]
Stream

Evil Invaders – Pulses of Pleasure (Napalm Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Fast, Loud ‘n’ Rude”

Fashion Week – Prêt-à-Porter (Solar Flare Records) [Sludge/Noise]
Stream

Frosttide – Blood Oath (Noise Art Records) [Epic Melodeath]
Listen to “Fate Redefined”

Furyon – Lost Salvation (Dream Records) [Heavy Metal/Hard Rock]
Listen to “These Four Walls”

Glaciation – Sur les Falaises de Marbre (Osmose Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Le Soleil et l’Acier”

Goat Semen – Ego Svm Satana (Hell’s Headbangers) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ego Svm Satana”

Godless Angel – Harvester of Shadows (Inverse Records) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Beneath the Skin”

Graveyard After Graveyard – Hellhound on my Trail (Chaos Records) [Black Thrash]
Listen to “Out to Feed”

Gyze – Black Bride (Coroner Records) [Melodeath]

Hacavitz – Darkness Beyond (Dark Descent) [Black Metal]
Stream

Helrunar – Niederkunfft (Lupus Lounge) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Devils, Devils Everywhere,” “Magdeburg Brennt”

Horrendous Rebirth – Devouring Chaos (Independent) [Slam & Cheese]
Listen to “Extinction”

In Other Climes – Leftover (Bastardized Recordings) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Leftover”

Izah – Sistere (Nordvind) [Sludge]
Stream

Johannson & Speckmann (Vic Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Mask of the Treacherous”

Krysantemia – Finis Dierum (Memorial Records) [Death Metal]
Stream

Maggot Colony – Spewing the Violated Souls (Rising Nemesis) [Slamwise Gamgee]
Listen to “Regurgitated Sins on Men”

Malphas – The Conjuring (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Legions”

Manifest – …And for This we Should be Damned? (ViciSolum) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Violently Engaged,” “Burning Brimstones”

Monox – Perception Changes (Metal Sound) [Death Metal]
Preview

Monsterworks – The Existential Codex (Eat Lead & Die) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “Tapping the Void”

Nachtschatten – Prolog (Sonic Revolution) [Melodeath]
Listen

Nomadic Rituals/Tome – Nomadic Rituals/Tome (split- Independent) [Doom/Sludge]

Opium Lord – The Calendrical Cycle: Eye of Earth (Candlelight Records) [Doom/Sludge]
Listen to “Challenger”

Pandemia – At the Gates of Nihilism (Mighty Music/Target Group) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Rotting in Mold”

Profet – Torture of Flesh (Marburg Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Nations Fall”

Prowler – Stallions of Steel (Pure Steel Records) [Heavy Metal]

Reign of Fury – Death Be thy Shepherd (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “Gates of Sanity”

The Resistance – Torture Tactics (earMusic) [Death Metal]
Listen to “For War”

Ruby the Hatchet – Valley of the Snake (Tee Pee Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Heavy Blanket”

Saturnalia Temple – To the Other (Ajna Offensive) [Doom]
Listen to “To the Other”

Scorpions – Return to Forever (Sony Music/New Door) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “We Built This House”

Seven Year Storm – Aion I (Hammerdown Records) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “Dyatlov”

Sewercide – Severing the Mortal Cord (Infernal Devastation) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Shackled by Ignorance,” “Rituals of Ceremonial Sickness”

Six of Swords – Polar Vortex (Sorrow Carrier) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Separation at the Seams”

Stoned Jesus – The Harvest (Independent) [Doom]
Listen to “Here Come the Robots”

The Storyteller – Sacred Fire (Dark Legacy) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “One Last Stand”

Swarþ – Veneficivm (Iron Bonehead) [Black Metal]
Listen to “I”

Terror Empire – The Empire Strikes Back (Nordavind Records) [Thrash]
Stream

Torche – Restarter (Relapse Records) [Sludge] Review
Listen

Trauma – Rapture and Wrath (Pure Steel Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “When I Die”

Trident – Shadows (War Anthem) [Blackened Death]
Preview

Vassafor/Temple Nightside – Call of the Maelstrom (split- Iron Bonehead) [Black Metal]
Stream (Temple Nightside)

Wolfpakk – Rise of the Animal (AFM Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Sock It To Me”

Yzordderrex – Cathedral (Independent) [Doom]
Stream

Zørormr – Corpus Hermeticum (Via Nocturna) [Black Metal]
Listen to “I Am Legend”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIAVIA, VIA, and VIA)

 

  • Axolotl is a great name for a metal band if you have no idea what an axolotl is. Look at this adorable bastard.
    http://animalsadda.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Axolotl-7.jpg

  • JWG’s Shifty Lateral Ventricle

    It’s like a real life Pokémon.

    And yes, I know there’s not a single original thing about that observation.

  • Based Tapir

    Negura Bunget and A Forest Of Stars in the same week? Sweet!

  • I made it this far, but I am so done with new releases, I can’t do it anymore. Binging a bunch of old stuff for a while, then I’ll be back to focusing on just bands people tell me don’t suck

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I’ve been on vacation from work so I haven’t kept up with much in the way of new music but I am planning on checking this one out (today? possibly) because of the homeys Scrimm and Tyree.

      https://darkdescentrecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-heart-of-the-netherworld

      • VVayne Brady

        You turd cutter. I wrote a blurb about this for one of the first Toilet Tuesdays this year!

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          Dubya it’s entirely possible that I read that blurb along with all of the other blurbs and came to it another way entirely. Doesn’t make me a bad guy. Lol.

          • VVayne Brady

            Sorry. I’m just angry because people keep talking about this release, but every single time someone brings it up, no one mentions I was the first one in the Toilet group to write about it.

          • LOL “i found them first!!!”

          • VVayne Brady

            I live for recognition.

          • Now you know how Tyree and I feel.

          • VVayne Brady

            We should start a club.

          • Guacamole Jim

            “Posers Anonymous”

          • Tyreeling In The Years

          • VVayne Brady

            Also, I apologize for calling you a turd cutter. I didn’t mean it.

          • VVayne Brady

            pls respond

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I upvoted both comments, acknowledging your blogging superiority and accepting your apology (“turd cutter” haha no big deal) I also went back and found that Toilet Tuesday (second of the year) and read your blurb on said band.

          • VVayne Brady

            I couldn’t stand the thought of us being at odds.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            It would take a great deal more than that.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            On the music tip, I’m eagerly anticipating both Imperial Triumphant’s Abyssal Gods and Ghostbath’s Moonlover probably more than anything else I can think of at the moment. That Ghostbath interview was awesome. Imperial Triumphant is going to rule so many butts this year.

          • VVayne Brady

            I pre-ordered Imperial Triumphant

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

    Welp, this week’s releases are going to keep me busy for awhile.

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    I’m listening to Fashion Week and Torche. They’re so good.

  • Scrimm

    I barely made it past that second paragraph. Fucking water all over me now.

  • Tyreeling In The Years

    If you are into Immolation, Gorguts, or Ulcerate get on that new Embrional. Quality weird sounding death metal.

    • VVayne Brady

      Weird death, you say?

      • Tyreeling In The Years

        I posted them a while back on Facebook. Check em out, you’ll dig it I’m sure.

        • VVayne Brady

          Alright, looks like the full thing drops on Friday. The two songs that are up now are killer.

    • son of a bvtch that’s good. thanks again, hilariously-named Tyree!!!

  • Reposted Avenged Sevenfold Fan

    You want real metal. Listen to linkin park.

    -acain561, 1 month ago

    • Maik Beninton

      I approve this

    • In the residence where my mom and fiancée lives in my hometown there’s and old guy that lives alone because his wife cheated on him and they’re divorcing.

      The guy, when he moved, have boxes a boxes from the moving truck of speakers and discs. I thought he was the real deal.

      This weekend, I heared the fainted sounds of despair and obscurity from his room. He was listening something. A really bad scream was running through the semi-open windows of his room, like someone that had a terrible flu and was surprised like making love to a donkey. The little sounds of a cymbal crashing in monotone rhytmic pattern.

      All of that was very weird for me. That residence is very quiet and I knew that the weird guy was listening something. So, I got out of our apartment to know about it.

      He was listening Linkin Park. It was something from the Hybrid Theory album….

      I really thought that the guy was a old rocker with some Scorpions or Latin 60 rock albums. But, no. He was listening Linkin Park. Now I’m afraid that he hangs himself in his room listening that. For real.

      • “A really bad scream was running through the semi-open windows of his
        room, like someone that had a terrible flu and was surprised like making
        love to a donkey. The little sounds of a cymbal crashing in monotone
        rhytmic pattern.”
        Man, this description had me stoked I’d found my new AOTY.

      • HessianHunter

        This song still rules. No fux given.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM

        • I can pass some old songs of them. But that singer is kind of obnoxious to me 😛

          • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

            He’s singing for Stone Temple Pilots now. I can’t wait to hear that train wreck, just for the lolbuttz!

        • I was playing “Papercut” back in the day and my dad came running in “STAHP PLAYING THAT RAP BULLSHIT”.

          #backintheday

          GL

          • Lacertilian

            You’re Dad was wise beyond his era.

      • more beer

        It was probably easier for him to deal with the cheating wife. Than listen to Linkin Park.

      • Stockhausen

        Dude, this is an intense story.

  • Tyreeling In The Years

    OH SHIT! Goat Semen, Mmmmmmmm.

    Purchasing some quality Goat Semen later on and that’s no lie.

    • RustyShackleford

      *Tyree on route to the store to buy some Goat Semen*

      • Tyreeling In The Years

        There I go.

    • Tina…The Brutal Fey

      I hope this is never taken out of context, but Goat Semen
      is tasty…

  • Based Tapir

    Isn’t Godless Angel the band of that one ultra nice guy on FFB?

    • affirm.

    • Spear

      He might be super nice, but his music… ehhhh…

      • Based Tapir

        I have to agree with that.

    • I travelled to that part of hell just to try to confirm that.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I like him as well. He’s so nice.

    • OldMetalHead

      I’ve seen people invite him to join us here. He’s thus far been resistant.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Woo! Pelican! They were one of my introductions to good music many years ago. The vocals are great, seems like they have evolved their sound a bit too.

    • I don’t quite “get” The Cliff, but The Wait is a killer tune. Not too far of a leap from City of Echoes.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        City of Echoes is the best, it always gives me this weird nostalgic feeling because I fell asleep listening to it on a road trip once and it invaded the fuck out of my dream, and it ended up being one damn interesting experience. As for the Cliff, the Palms remix is really good, try that one.

        • VVayne Brady

          City of Echoes always reminds me of Corpus Christi,

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            It’s Myrtle Beach for me, very weird how easily it attaches to places.

          • Dubs, have you ever listened to Balmorhea? Instrumental group from Texas. Good studying musics.

          • VVayne Brady

            I’m pretty sure I have.

    • good drummer

    • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

      I’d prefer they stick to no vocals, actually. It’s one of the things that really sets them apart. They’re quite popular in Chicago, and the Chicago Reader praises them practically every week.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        No matter how much I like an instrumental band, I almost always prefer vocals. It helps me differentiate between songs a little bit more, and I think it really encourages a different kind of song structure that makes it more interesting, and makes me want to go back to it more often.

        • Lacertilian

          NNNOOOOOO!!!!

  • i take slight umbrage at Godless Angel being called lolbuttz.

    • Reposted Avenged Sevenfold Fan

      i mean this band is fuckig awesome they are trying to be different from the rest,

      That’s what makes you a good mucisian.

      – machinima8422 3 hours ago

    • That band is from my college town!

    • Spear

      I do feel kind of bad picking on the little guy, especially when All That Remains is on that list, but that album really needs work. Those leads were just sad.

      • it’s all good, different strokes and such. but yeah when ATR is still a thing…

  • Tyreeling In The Years

    Swarþ and Vassafor/Temple Nightside split. Fucking sick! Got some quality tunage for today.

    • VVayne Brady

      Swarþ is rill weird, but I hope you like it.

      • Tyreeling In The Years

        Yeah, I remember that track Masterpants posted a while back being pretty strange. I liked it though.

  • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

    So many releases I want to give a chanche this week, good news I ain’t working today.

    Give a chanche to Speckmann & Johannson if you like OSDM. Nothing fancy but around 50 years of combined experience.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      You wrote about A Forest of Stars, correct? They are pretty interesting, nice find.

      • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

        Indeed. Steampunky, sorta goth, sorta psychedelic black metal.

  • SWOLEBEARD

    New pelican? New a forest of stars? Perfect for a snowy day.

    Sidebar;: it’s one of my life goals to go to/move to Japan. My old lady even gave me the go ahead to make sex to Asian broads

  • Guacamole Jim

    The intros are always so magnificent.

    RELATED: Last night I woke up at 4:00 AM with the worst gas and stomach pains like no other. I rushed to the bathroom, tripping over all the crap lying around my room in my bedraggled haze. As soon as I sat down on the toilet, I unleased the fury of a thousand suns, that came in powerful waves, always preceded by a stank-ass fart, followed by gut-wrenching anal explosions, and finished by a temporary relief. This cycle happened five times before I was able to stand back up, wipe, and return to my slumber.

    The entire time I was thinking how excited I was to share this with you guys <3

    • how can you poop so much!!!???

      • He has a very irregular diet.

        • Or he has too much food. #FirstWorldProblems

          • Guacamole Jim

            It’s both, honestly. I have a ready access to a lot of food (my folks have a farm, so the only money I need to spend on food is just on veggies and canned goods and such), but I often get lazy and go on binges of eating bad food, then pay the price.

            Here’s been my diet for the past two days:

            Eggs, homemade bacon, toast
            A wrap (with montreal smoked meat and like lettuce or something)
            Life cereal

            Then for breakfast this morning I had a bag of peanuts and coffee.

          • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

            Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, gotta love those razor sharp peanut terds. It’s about like shitting shrapnel.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Well, this time it was due to being a lazy piece of shit and eating a metric fuckton of Life cereal for supper. At least, that’s the only thing that I can figure.

        • maybe you should switch to Colon Blow

        • All that fiber’ll clean you out real good.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I actually do feel incredible today, like I’ve been given a new lease on life.

          • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

            And 20 pounds lighter!

    • Tyreeling In The Years

      Beautiful story dip.

      • OldMetalHead

        Tyreely Dan!

    • Maik Beninton

      Last Thursday I ate a homemade hamburger and later on I had some serious diarrhea problems. The weirdest part was that I used on the hamburger was rotten.

    • more beer

      Sharing is caring!

    • Stockhausen

      I’m really proud of you. All for Toilet, Toilet for all.

    • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras
  • #ToiletConfessions I don’t poop in public bathrooms because I’m afraid that someone opens my door

    Well, let’s go to business. Thanks again for one more round of This Toilet Tuesday, brolos.

    #FirstLinkPickOfTheDay Axolotl. Nothing grabbed me, but they are not a bad band either. The first part is ok, but the last part with the tremolo isn’t well placed, in my opinion. Reminds me of a local band called Morzgul: https://soundcloud.com/axolotlmusic/axolotl-prosekturian-dawn-voices-of-luna

    #SecondLinkPickOfTheDay Opium Lord. Massive guitars with a more rhythm approach and deth merol wails. The rhytmic bass part in 0:30 is very good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQHBKCN_oO4

    #ThirdLinkPickOfTheDay Wolfpakk. That video is very bad. The music is general hard rock, but didn’t catch anything of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUhWBVCqqP8

    • Based Tapir

      I share your fear matey.

      • OldMetalHead

        Opium, that’ll stop you up. When I was on Morphine after breaking my leg, didn’t shit for like a week and a half.

        • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

          And it was giving birth to Cloverfield when you finally did poop?

    • RustyShackleford

      I also don’t poop in public bathrooms, but that’s because I live by a philosophy that I don’t poop where I wouldn’t want to die…just…in case. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ELVIS

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        I made it all the way through freshmen year in HS without using a school stall, once I broke the streak I stopped caring so much. Just gotta let it out man.

        • I don’t mind pooping at work, but I refused to poop at school or other public places unless it was a matter of life or shit filled pants.

        • RustyShackleford

          Dammit I feel like my body is trained to NOT need to poop when public restrooms are the only option. I’ll consume copious amounts of coffee today and make it happen you have my word lol

          • Get over your fear. When you can poop anywhere you have truly conquered your destiny.

          • RustyShackleford

            #ToiletTherapy

          • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

            This whole thing is reminded me of that scene from Waiting, but a poopyfied version.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnBcfPoT3G0

        • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras
      • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

        Happened to my friend’s grandpa as well. He was found 3 days later, and one can only imagine what that smelled like.

    • OldMetalHead

      Up until I got out of HS I felt the same way. I went into the Army after graduation and soon discovered that no private toilets existed (in basic the entire platoon uses the same public restroom). Since then I can go anywhere, though I still prefer to go at work. Getting paid to eliminate is empowering.

      • Scrimm

        We had stalls in Basic. It was where we went to sneak power naps when we were training around the barracks.

        • OldMetalHead

          Sure, but stalls are still public. Same as going at school , right?

      • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

        Same when I was in military school, and no private showers either, which took me the longest time to get over.

    • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

      Not me! I’d happily show them the fruits of my labor after I’m done pooping, and see them glow with delight.

  • RustyShackleford

    Damn been awhile since I jammed Melechesh! Looking forward to this. Yep.

  • Torche and Melechesh make for a good week.

  • I am stoked for the new All That Remains! Downloading it now! What I heard of it on the Itunes radio thing was great.

    Also, I am elated I won the ROTW for the Australia band edition (sorry you were not satisfied with the riff MSD, lol).

    GL

    • Howard Dean sounded like he was going to slap someone.

      • What would he slap someone over? The new All That Remains?

        GL

        • Haha no, he seemed very mad Portal’s non-riff won.

          • HA. There was a riff in there somewhere!

            GL

          • Lacertilian

            I too shared in HD’s dismay at the winning ‘riff’.
            We may be a large empty country but we have some fucking riffs.

        • Tru-Kvlt-Metal

          • What a terrible, TERRIBLE song name!

            GL

          • Maik Beninton

            This has got to be the most overcompensating song name of all time.

          • it’s his F.U. to people who make fun of ATR.
            phil must not own a mirror.

          • Maik Beninton

            lol.
            He should kave called it ”Haters Gonna Hate” then.

          • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

            You must not have heard any of Morbid Angel’s newest song titles!

          • Maik Beninton

            Oh yeah, I forgot.
            Radicvlt.

      • who?

        • JJM!

          GL

          • hey stranger!
            (i’m noticing a lack of howard dean lately…)

          • yeah, I am/will be working offsite on and off for awhile. I have been asked to help assembly a hypser-sonic wind tunnel. It is pretty sweet!

            GL

          • i’ll let you know when our article goes live! my little heart might not be able to take the excitement

          • It is planned for today, I just checked!

            GL

        • He’s still real to me.

          • Scrimm

            Me too 🙁

      • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

        With his wiener!

    • WHAT IF I WAS NOTHING, GL? what if…

    • Lacertilian

      What riff?

  • OldMetalHead

    I’m listening to the Carach Angren stream. The track Season of Mist – Dreaming of a Nightmare in Ede reminds me of something out of “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. Good stuff 🙂

  • Herr Schmitty

    +1 horrible intro story, very well done, would read again!

  • The new Carach Angren album is amazing. I would highly recommend it to fans of the genre.

  • OldMetalHead

    Is the new The Agonist any good? Thoughts?

    • semi-flush
      nowhere near as good as Prisoners

    • Maik Beninton

      Jack Bauer wrote a review on the mini-reviews post.

      • OldMetalHead

        Disappointing, but not unexpected I guess. It’s hard to transition to a new lead singer. I really don’t like the new version of Arch Enemy either.

        • Maik Beninton

          I think Alissa did some great work on Arch Enemy.

          • OldMetalHead

            She’s talented, but I guess the same thing applies. I like the old singer better 😉

          • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

            I didn’t like the fact she doesn’t get to do her clean vocals to death growls like she did in The Agonist. That was one of her key strengths. Her current death growls in AE are awful and hilarious at the same time.

          • i hate to be “this guy”, but Arch Enemy havent been good since Johan. stock metal nonsense and fuck girls who growl.

        • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

          Jeff Loomis in AE is only gonna end in two ways: either he puts some fire under their ass and gets them out of the autopilot chug a lug mode they’ve been in forever, or they dumb his stuff down, waste his talent and stay in chug a lug mode.

  • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

    Loving the new videos of Forest Of Stars so far. Definitely one of the most oddball bands in black metal, and Duncan Evans’ solo stuff is awesome. Haven’t heard anything of Negura Bunget in quite a while, but I remember liking them quite a bit. If I’m not mistaken, some of the guys are in Bucovina, And of course, the new Melechesh is brilliant as always.

    Oh, and the Rezillos have a new one coming out, their first since 1978! So, so far this week, my tingly musical tenders have been moistened and engorged!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q12VC5CDxdI&index=1&list=PLTzjTOahruPIficOqr5Wrtdh8bD_tUREK

    • Based Tapir

      What’s your opinion on Oranssi Pazuzu, bae? I’m hoping that they release something new this year.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QHqtwDrk3_g

      • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

        Pretty good! Sensing a little Swans influence in there.

      • Stanley

        Now that is a riff!

        • Based Tapir

          Valonielu was one of my favourites from 2013

  • Celtic Frosty

    Someone has to admit it, and I’m old enough to ain’t care, so I’ll say it. I’m enjoying the new Agonist record. Vocalist change aside, any time a good metalcore album comes out, it deserves some mention. This is a good metalcore album.

  • that story had me in stitches. i raffed arot

  • Stockhausen

    Excellent intro Spear. I suck and didn’t get mine in this week, but I’m really digging on Endlesshade, Hacavitz, and friggin’ Yzordderrex.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I wanna listen to Yzordderrex and that new Yhardl, too.

      • Stockhausen

        Well, the Yhdarl is kind of a given.

  • OldMetalHead

    That Reign of Fury is very old skool thrashy. I like it.

  • JWG’s Shifty Lateral Ventricle

    I was motivated to get Ensiferum’s latest album after I saw it on last week’s TTT, only to be informed that I was clearly fooled by a European release date that was somewhere between today and last week.

    I made a mental note not to forget it when I go out looking for ‘Enki’ later today.

    As long as there isn’t a 20-minute-long filler track again, I consider it a safe buy.

  • Leif Bearikson

    Holy fuck, the art for A Forest of Stars.

    • VVayne Brady

      The music is good too

      • KJU SkráðuVergaskip Egyo í Ras

        Yep! I’m thinking of using my birthday money for that and the new X Marks The Pedwalk (as long as it’s not import only).

      • Lacertilian

        The music is really top notch but I can’t get past those spoken word vocals.
        Damn me.

  • RJA

    For all of you vinyl people out there. The new Yellow Eyes is now available from prisontatt.com. 1 sided LP, limited to 166.

  • Dagon

    I had no idea Stoned Jesus released a new album. FUck.

  • Virgil the Ghost Poet

    Sometimes I really hate you fuckers! Aseethe sounds fucking incredible, Endlesshade is great, note to self spend more time exploring naturmacht, and Opium Lord is something I like. Then I heard Fashion week and lost my shit. Damn! I still need to get my AFoS box and I haven’t bought Sewerwitch and Theologian yet. Damn You!
    P.S. Slam and Cheese hahahahaha!
    Just kidding I love you guys!

  • Lacertilian

    Was down with Dr. Living Dead until I saw they were all wearing masks.
    I don’t know if this is something they always do but I don’t like bands with masks, only GWAR can pull it off IMO.
    Graveyard After Graveyard were pretty ripping,
    Woah, Trident sound fucking awesome for a preview..going to have to remember that one.
    Could have used a bit more of that Monox to sink my teeth into to get a better feel being a debut and all.
    Pandemia appear straight-up but seem to do the trick.
    Six Of Swords stomp, pound and have that eeeeery Soreption lead sound.
    Great round-up Spear & other Toilet overlords, cheers!
    *raises beer*

  • Is there any black metal coming out today? Seriously though, I’m bumping this new Raekwon track.

    https://soundcloud.com/iceh2orecords/wall-to-wall-feat-french-montana-busta-rhymes/s-ZwKkb

  • IfJthenS

    I… think I can see myself going to a Dr. Living Dead! show.

    Don’t know how to feel about that.
    Also, Goat Semen. Gonna assume all the good names are taken?

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    That intro was absolutely, but disgustingly, hilarious. Well done!