This Toilet Tuesday (2/10/15)

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Trying to tackle these massive lists of new music is a bit like trying to approach the act of shitting in the woods. I, for one, always have the same set of questions flicker through my mind in either instance: Where do I start? How do I go about doing this? How deep should I dig? Do I wipe with leaves when I’m done? Invariably, the answer is to simply rush in headlong and do your best to clean up the aftermath. This is Toilet Tuesday.


 abstracter

Abstracter – Wound Empire (Fragile Branch/Vendetta) [Crust/Black Metal]
Listen to “Lightless,” “Cruciform”

Abstracter bases their brand of black metal on slightly psyched up sludge and crusty doom that relies on atmosphere and not riffs. If Cult of Luna played BM, they would be Abstracter (why do I have the feeling that example has been used before?). Shifting from melancholic and sinister tones to oppressive moments, they aren’t going to blow you away with sheer force. They are ominously deadly. Never seeking to draw you directly into their lair, instead sending you away, until you fall into their surrounding traps and melt away. (Karhu)


 dephosphooja

Dephosphorus/Haapoja – Collaboration (split- Handshake, Inc.) [Grindcore]
Listen to “Abstraction Maze” (Dephosphorus), “Pakon Sanelema” (Haapoja)

Grind has been experiencing a bit of a revolution of sorts these last few years. Although I love old-school grind more than the next guy, it’s been fun to see so many bands toying with the genre formula, even if it does launch them into weird, non-grind territories. This new split by Dephosphorus/Haapoja continues the grand tradition of experimentation. The Dephosphorus track, although built on a crusty foundation and anchored by a hard-as-nails punky riff, assaults your sensibilities with a very blackened attack. Haapoja continue with the same tack, perhaps even further extrapolating that dark, brooding atmosphere. This is a mini-release, and I’m excited to hear the full split Collaboration. FFO: Piss Vortex, Bastard Feast, Purge (W.)


putrid offal

Putrid Offal – Mature Necropsy (Kaotoxin) [Deathgrind]
Listen to “Mortuary Garlands”

I’m on a grind and grind-product binge today, jiggling and wiggling. Putrid Offal has me hate moshing in my tiny little office. Is this album straightforward grind? Nah. Is it groovy deathgrind that will have you flipping tables? Yes. “Mortuary Garlands” is a nasty piece of work that slams and slays. The triggered drums sound slightly off to me, but those nasty riffs and time shifts, plus the tasty bass bounce at the beginning, are sure to get your hips moving. FFO: Napalm Death, OMAAF, Aborted (W.)


B6rEksbCcAAgZgF

Embryo – Embryo (logic(il)logic) [Melodeath]
Listen to “An Awkward Attempt”

I was drawn to Embryo by their touting of drummer Francesco Paoli (of Fleshgod Apocalypse fame) and was somewhat surprised by how different they are from his bigger project. Embryo plays fairly straightforward, riff-driven, groovy melodeath with a touch of keyboard ambiance. The songwriting is solid, but they can’t escape judgement simply because of their drummer’s pedigree; it’s a decent listen, but I feel like the full album will begin to drag. Hopefully I’ll be proven wrong when it drops later this week. (Spear)


exhumed2015

Exhumed – Gore Metal: A Necrospective (Relapse Records) [Goregrind]
Stream

Exhumed have been writing quality grind for ages and now they are re-releasing their debut album for people like me who have only relatively recently discovered them. Should be good if their last few albums are anything to go by. (Jack Bauer)


B84V4kHCUAAWq8L

Daemon Pyre – Daemon Pyre (physical release- New Justice) [Death Metal]
Stream

These guys write some pretty good melodeath with traces of tech. Judging by what I have heard of them so far they seem to have a bit of an Allegaeon vibe going on but at the same time manage to make it sound their own, and let’s  be serious: Allegaeon comparisons are a good thing. (Jack Bauer)


porcelain god

The Vomiting Dinosaurs – Worship the Porcelain God (Grimoire Records) [Grindcore]
Listen to “Crypt Kegger,” “Tenafly Viper”

To me, this band has a lot of things going for them right off the bat. Their name is The Vomiting Dinosaurs, they have a toilet-themed album name, and their name is The Vomiting Dinosaurs. I’m getting much more of a punk-infused thrashy death feel from them (yes, I’m absolutely as much of a douche as that description makes me sound) than grindcore [Spear note: probably accurate, I just make this shit up as I go], but the bottom line is that these guys are a good time in audio format. You can picture/smell the venue in your head that would fit The Vomiting Dinosaur, the type of place that you would really put you off when you first walk in at 8 PM, but would feel like home when you’re lying shirtless on the floor at 1 AM in a puddle of beer after stomping around to the wildest set of the night, courtesy of TVD. (Stockhausen)


 lords of the trident

Lords of the Trident – Frostburn (Independent) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Winds of the Storm”

Look, Masterlord and Randall Thorr, I’m not a power metal convert yet. Don’t shout huzzah before breaking into a tickle fight anytime soon, but I will say that this song is pretty legit. I have absolutely no power metal vocabulary other than “Noble Beast rules” and “A Sound of Thunder rocks my butt,” so I can’t compare these guys to anything. I do really enjoy the lead vocals being a little lower in register, and that chorus is all sorts of catchy. There’s a fun bit of chromaticism in a few riffs, some upbeat accents, and it all combines for a killer tune that I can see myself online comparison-shopping some broadswords to. (Stockhausen)


Adrenaline Mob – Dearly Defarted (Century Media) [Hard Rock]
Listen to “Dearly Departed”

Ahamkara – The Embers of the Stars (Bindrune/Nordvis) [Atmospheric Black Metal]

Listen to “On the Shores of Defeat”

Ambroz – Into the Endless Void (Independent) [Blackened Death]
Listen to “The Path of Sins”

Antareth – The Mask of Truth (Independent) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “A Great Wall of Scorn”

Arbitrator – Indoctrination of Sacrilege (Independent) [Death/Industrial]
Listen to “For That Which May Appease Lions”

Architect of Dissonance – Realm of the Deviant Throne (Rotten Roll Rex) [Come On And Slam]
Listen to “Maggot Infestation,” “Open Body Desecration”

Beyond Reason – A New Reflection (Arkeyn Steel) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Enlightened Years Away”

Blacklisted – When People Grow, People Go (Deathwish, Inc.) [Hardcore]
Stream

Blasphemous – Entrails Spilled Out In Chainsaw (Brutal Minds) [Slam Bam Thank You Ma’am]
Listen to “Entrails Spilled Out In Chainsaw”

Bloodscribe – Prologue to the Apocalypse (Gore House) [Slamuel L. Jackson]
Listen to “Enslaved by Deceptions,” “Shadows”

Call of the Void – Ageless (Relapse Records) [Hardcore]
Listen

Cowards – Rise to Infamy (Throatruiner) [Hardcore/Sludge]
Stream

Death Karma – The History of Death & Burial Rituals part I (Iron Bonehead) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Madagascar (Famadihana)”

Destiny – Time (Power Prog) [Power Metal]
Stream

Dwell – Vermin and Ashes (Hell’s Headbangers) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Vermin in my Arteries”

Feed Her To The Sharks – Fortitude (Victory Records) [Metalcore]
Stream

Finsterforst – Mach Dich Frei (Napalm Records) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Mach Dich Frie”

Generichrist – Taste of Death (Horror Pain Gore Death) [Death/Thrash]
Listen to “Taste of Death”

Godhunter/Amigo the Devil – The Outer Dark (The Compound/Battleground) [Western/Folk]
Stream

Gorelust – We Are the Undead (PRC Music) [Death Metal]
Stream

Gorgy – Orgy of Gore (Negative Earth) [Goregrind]
Listen to “Necrotizing Mastitis,” “The Processor”

Hellrazors – Funeral (Undercover/Evil Spell Records) [Black Thrash]
Listen to “Hellrazors”

Holycide – Toxic Mutation (Xtreem Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “Radiation Endgame”

Humiliation – Fatamorgana (Groupies Records) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “Fatamorgana”

id. – Sagittarius A (Independent) [Prog Metal/Fusion]
Listen to “id.entity,” “Sagittarius A”

Kalapács – Enighma (Hammer Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Verseny”

Karmageddon – Preborn (Independent) [Stoner/Doom]
Stream

Kraków – amaran (Dark Essence) [Post-Metal]
Listen to “Luminauts,” “Atom”

Manilla Road – The Blessed Curse (Golden Core/ZYX) [Heavy Metal]
Preview

Maris Lane – The Sound of an Empty Heart (Independent) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Stranded”

Megora – Burning Empire (Saol) [Heavy Metal]
Stream

Monolith – Against the Wall of Forever (Funeral Noise) [Heavy Metal]
Stream

Mourning Mist – Mourning Mist (Forever Plagued) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Rage”

Oral Fistfuck – Spiritual Sickening (Rising Nemesis) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “What a Mess”

The Order of Apollyon – The Sword and the Dagger (Listenable Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Curse is Poured Upon Them”

Outer Heaven – Diabolus Vobiscum (Melotov Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Vile Rebirth”

Pryapisme – Futurologie (Apathia Records) [Electronic/Prog/Chiptune]
Stream

Rwake – Xenoglossalgia: The Last Stageof Awareness (Relapse Records) [Sludge/Doom]
Listen to “Calibos/So Fucking Tired”

Spellbound – Nothing but the Truth (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “Forgotten and Gone”

Sullen – Post Human (Independent) [Prog Metal]
Listen to “Broken Path”

Tanagra – None of This is Real (Independent) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Tyranny of Time,” “Bitter Earth”

Tanzwut – Freitag der 13 (AFM Records) [Industrial Bagpipecore]
Listen to “Freitag der 13”

The Will of a Million – Les Étoiles (Glossolalia Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “As We Float”

Zoax – Is Everybody Listening? (Century Media) [Metalcore]
Listen to “Zero Point Seven”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA and VIA)

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  • DDubya.

    HEY GANG, DON’T SLEEP ON THAT DEATH KARMA RELEASE. I WON’T BE SURPRISED TO SEE IT ON A BUNCH OF YEAR-END LISTS. SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

  • Howard Dean

    New Manilla Road! That they weren’t a featured release makes me die a little bit inside.

    Also, finally pulled the trigger on that Devouring Star full length. Ordered the CD from Daemon Worship.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      HD I should let you know my Pissgrave tape has been shipped from Belgium. I told everyone else already. That is all.

      • Howard Dean

        Who did you order through? Did Graceless Recordings not have any copies left?

        I know the band was out of them by the third stop of their tour with Dead Congregation. Probably should’ve been a sign that you need to rethink your media/mercy situation.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I’m going to look when I get a second from work. I have the guy’s email address but I can’t seem to find the site… brb.

          • Howard Dean

            That would’ve saved you some time and money if the do still have them. I believe Graceless is located in America.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I double checked Graceless just now, thankfully it was sold out so I don’t feel like a dumbass.

            I still need to check on where I actually got it from, brb.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus
    • Tyree

      BYAH!!!

      Still waiting on my copy of Devouring Star’s newest. I’m getting a bit worried about it now.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus

        Worried about a Blake Judd type scenario?

        My Sannhet Revisionist tee shirt came from The Flenser. I’m wearing it at work today.

        • Tyree

          They better not get all Recluse on my ass if I email them.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I just responded to you but it’s awaiting approval, lol

          • *checks the pending folder*
            Yeah, I could see how that would maybe get flagged.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            It was a spot on McSorley imitation, lol

      • Howard Dean

        Was it through Daemon Worship? How long have you been waiting?

        I got the notification from Paypal that DW received my payment, but haven’t heard anything about it being shipped yet.

        I’m actually still waiting for Daemon Worship/Invictus to release the Svartidaudi “Synthesis of Whore and Beast” EP. I preordered it back in early December, and they said they didn’t have a release date set yet (it’s been delayed to death by now). Let’s hope everything is going OK over at Daemon Worship.

        • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

          Synthesis is currently showing a 2018 release for physical copy.

          • Howard Dean

            What?! Hahahaha.

            They said it could be months. I’m hoping sooner than later.

          • A whole 50 years before the new Wintersun. “OK, guys, we got the studio, blew through Nuclear Blast’s money, but now we need you to crowdfund us so we can buy hot cocoa, tube socks and several cases of Finn Crisps, THEN we’ll be ready to work on it!”

            PS, I love Finn Crisps, btw. Can’t find them around here though.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            What’s a Finn Crisp? A potato chip?

          • Finnish rye crackers. They are soooooooooooo good, especially with a little vanilla yogurt, gourda, spinach artichoke dip or tzaziki on top.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Oh those tasty little sausages.
            Yes I enjoy them.

          • What, tzaziki? No, that’s the Greek sauce they use on gyros.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Tasty little sausages = ry crackers.
            Finnish “humour”

        • Tyree

          Yes. Daemon Worship it was. I got my PayPal receipt but nothing on shipping yet.

        • Sure Blake Judd’s not working for them?

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      I was going to do Manilla, I ran out if time 🙁

    • Spear

      I didn’t spend a ton of time digging for their music and that preview was all I found. I think everyone knows it’s going to be good, though.

    • hey HD, i’m not trying to hijack your thread; but i know that you’re the other resident Velvet Cacoon fan around here… it sounds like Abstracter employed the diesel harp in a few tracks 😉

      • Howard Dean

        Hahaha. I chuckle every time I see the word diesel harp or hear something in a so g that sounds like VC’s “diesel harp.” What a crazy bunch of drug-fueled pathological liars.

      • Howard Dean

        Hahaha. I chuckle every time I see the word diesel harp or hear something in a so g that sounds like VC’s “diesel harp.” What a crazy bunch of drug-fueled pathological liars.

  • Hey, I don’t know if you had be thanked for this work.. But thanks again for #ThisToiletTuesday column <3. Thanks to Spear for making the edition and the guys for collaborate. You all rule.

  • Those slam tags. Brilliant.

  • The Vomiting Dinosaurs have released a song about the movie Street Trash on their album “Worship the Porcelain God”. I could not be any more into this..

  • Guacamole Jim
    • DDubya.

      Speaking of Spider-Man, Sony and Marvel finally worked out a deal for him to appear in the MCU.

      • Guacamole Jim

        I saw that! Could be interesting. I do like Spider-Man quite a bit, so it’d be fun to see him back with the rest of the Marvel hooligans. But while we’re on the topic of superheroes, I am SO PUMPED for the new Daredevil TV show. DD is my absolute favourite.

        • DDubya.

          The show is going to be a Netflix exclusive from the MCU, yah?

          • KJM

            Yep.

          • I’m looking for the Zelda Tv show, even when the entire internetz says that will going to suck.

            Warcraft movie, then Zelda tv show. If I get a Castlevania stuff (movie, series, novel, whatever) I will die happy.

          • Guacamole Jim

            There’s a Warcraft movie happening?????!!?!?!/!!!11!1!?!?!

          • EsusMoose

            Been in planning for 6 years

          • Guacamole Jim

            SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

          • It’s probably going to be good. I keep my Rosary high up for this one.

          • Highlights:

            March 2016

            Travis Fimmel from vikings will act as one of the principal human characters.

            ILM, the company that made Star Wars special effects, will work with this one.

            They’re doing the editing, so the movie was already shot.

            They will stick to the First War: http://www.warcraft-themovie.com/blizzcon-2014-news/#.VNoqjPmG-_c

          • DDubya.

            The first war? As in just Orcs and Humans? Before Doomhammer?

          • Yup: Orcs and Humans old school style. With the first entry of the orcs to Azeroth.

          • It’s also Duncan Jones directing, I think, which is another plus in its favor.

          • Väinämöinen

            That old Zelda cartoon was horrible tho.

          • Mario bros. movie was worse x-x) Nintendo moves were very bad

          • DDubya.

            I tried explaining the plot of the Mario Bros. movie to my wife the other night. It’s pretty ludicrous.

          • I liked it, but then again I was 8 years old and even more easily entertained than I am nowadays.

          • DDubya.

            I hate to tell you, but if the Zelda movie ever goes through, it’s probably going to suck. Video games just do not translate to television/film well. The only way they could make it work would be to not focus on Link but on the politics of the kingdom, maybe build up the story to show that the land desperately needs a savior. Then they bring in Link later in the season. Having a silent protagonist usually doesn’t work so well.

          • Väinämöinen

            It would be great if Uwe Boll directed it.

          • DDubya.

            They’re trying to get him on board, right?

          • Väinämöinen

            He would be the best choice for making games into movies.

          • Uwe Bolluttz

          • We need a Tetris movie directed by Uwe Bolluttz, please

          • A Tetris is already in the announced, but they’re making it into an epic sci fi movie. This is gonna need one of those stadium troughs for all those flushes!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhwGEa7507g

          • i can upvote this, sorry ._.)

          • It’s that bad, I know!

          • Guacamole Jim

            Naw, this has got to be a joke. For real. There’s no way this can be serious.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Axis Of Anal

            Flying Spaghetti Monster help us all if it is…………..

          • I <3 u

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            NO!

          • Väinämöinen

            You shouldn’t say things like that or he’ll challenge you to a boxing match.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Have you seen In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Statham, Pearlman, 1000 other well known guys) or Perfect Dark?

          • Väinämöinen

            Those I have not, but BloodRayne I have. ‘Twas awful.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            BloodRayne is one of his better ones… It even got a sequel, with all new cast.
            I wonder what will T5 & T6 be like…

          • Väinämöinen

            I also have a faint memory of seeing Alone In The Dark.

          • I saw House of the Dead. I do not remember a single thing about it. Postal has been sitting in my Netflix queue for a long time. I don’t think I have it in me to watch it.

          • Uve Boll films make great drunken movie nights

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Boll needs o disappear, for4

          • i have seen In the Name of the King. i guess Ray Liotta wanted to bring his own costume to the set…

            http://1.fwcdn.pl/ph/95/56/219556/111099.1.jpg

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Horrible is not enough to describe it.

          • Lacertilian

            Went to hire a movie and they had one of those 3 for the price of 1 deals, picked this one up as the last one. We ended up watching it coming down from a blotter, it was that bad that nobody could believe it existed. It scared me how terrible it was.
            I questioned everything after that day.

          • Dungeon Siege was AWFUL! Decent soundtrack though.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Good game. At least II. Horrible movie.

          • Yes! I haven’t seen a PERFECT video game movie. Even when I enjoyed first Silent Hill movie.

            But I think I will not care about this Zelda movie script or history. I will watch it just for the aesthetic.

          • DDubya.

            Actually, you raise a good point. The first Silent Hill was decent.

          • I liked the second one too. Those movies might work a little better because the Silent Hill storyline is a little… “loose”, maybe?

          • the second was decent too! 🙂

            What I liked is that they preserve the aesthetic of the series. Also, they worked very hard with the music, and that’s what makes the series so special.

          • Akira Yamaoka… hnnnngg

            okay, will give #2 a shot!

          • DDubya.

            I enjoyed the second one, but I thought the first was better. I think survival-horror games may lend themselves better to film because the atmosphere of the games is often very cinematic.

          • The last one was Lolbuttzapolooza, but the spider puppet thing was pretty badass.

            https://scaredycathorror.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/shr-spiderdollhead.gif

          • I agree with you on that DDubya, that Doom movie was an atrocity.

          • DDubya.

            Hahaha, that movie cracked me up. Not the reaction they were going for.

          • Carpe Diem, Motherflusher!

          • Lacertilian

            Nor here…
            He’s an definitely an uhmerikhann!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMV2hnlcmgU

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I don’t think the fault is really in the fact they are video games, more like the team behind the movie. Usually the guys are pretty atrocious, the budget was very small and so forth.

          • Like the Final Fantasy movies, where the characters walk like they have rickets and arthritis.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            The animated FF is nice. I still haven’t figured what’s it got to do with FF the game series.

          • Well, the games have virtually nothing to do with one another plot-wise. There’s character tie-ins here and there, but that’s about it.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Teh mövie doesn’t even have any of the characters, themes or styles. It’s literally just a name.

          • They fucked up big time with the Silent Hill films. They’re decent for what they are, but lack any of the Lovecraftian feel and plot of the game, at least the first one. I’m amazed they haven’t made a movie for Parasite Eve, which would certainly tickle my tenders.

          • Upvote for the Parasite Eve idea–had totally forgotten about that.

          • There was one way back when. I forget if it was any good though, since I was only 8 at the time.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE4VkfYaP1w&list=PL1B7BC2060D8E1FD9

            Hasn’t been a Castlevania one, but Simon Belmont was a regular character on ‘Captain N And The Game Masters’.

        • *cringes as I remember the Ben Affleck movie*

      • KJM

        I’d be really psyched if that could happen with the Fantastic Four.

        • DDubya.

          Just wait till the next FF movie flops. I bet two dud series in a row might be effective.

          • KJM

            The trailer for the latest one looks really bad, especially if the rumors are true about Dr Doom( basement dwelling neckbeard who has an accident and becomes a villain).

          • DDubya.

            Yah, I don’t have high hopes for it. I usually try to finish movies, even if they’re bad. I definitely turned Rise of the Silver Surfer off halfway through.

          • I did the exact same with the second Ghost Rider, even though that scene where he pissed fire was high art in my opinion.

          • The first FF wasn’t too terribly bad, haven’t bothered with the second one. In the meantime, I’m holding out for a full blown Venture Bros. movie! And Super Troopers 2 is almost done from what I read. The legend returns!

      • I’M ON VACATION!

        Without Andrew Garfield (most likely). Hope they cast someone better this time around.

        • DDubya.

          I actually didn’t mind him in comparison to Tobey.

          • Guacamole Jim
          • I didn’t want to watch the 3rd spiderman movie because I saw that they jumped heavily in the emo trend in that time.. :/

          • DDubya.

            I still have PTSD from that movie. I was so bummed after watching it.

          • The first two were enjoyable. But the haircut, the black suit, the bad CGI.. ugh.. I couldn’t watch that 🙁

          • Väinämöinen

            Is that the one with the dance scene?

          • DDubya.

            Yes. I saw it in theaters freshman year of college. Haven’t seen it since.

          • Väinämöinen

            That movie is EVIL.

          • DDubya.

            OMG. Is this real life? Apparently I blocked that scene from memory.

          • I like that his old ass jowls shake when he’s pelvic thrusting. 40 year old teenager.

          • DDubya.

            The subtle elements really make the scene.

          • Väinämöinen

            This is scarier than any horror movie.

          • it’s actually not THAT bad, when you consider the man behind the camera (Mr. Raimi). i’m sure tongue was firmly planted in cheek when this was filmed.

          • VENOM was played by Eric FUCKING Foreman. This movie was garbage and YES I MAD.

          • oops, i was only referring to that dance scene. from what i remember about said movie, it was garbage. hard with!
            (i think it’s called repression where the mind chooses to forget certain things)

          • Dagon

            This.

            That casting decision is just… no words…

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            Too bad, looking at what Raimi had planned for SM4, would have been great, possibly

          • didn’t mean to defend the whole film, just that animated GIF (featuring some fun Raimi camera-work). what’s worse is how this travesty of a film followed what is arguably the best superhero film of all, SM2…

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            It is an unbelievable fuckup

          • Blooper reel from Magic Mike. ^^^^^

          • I’M ON VACATION!

            I feel Tobey’s entire demeanor was more suited for the character of Peter Parker. Andrew was handsome, athletic, etc…. everything Peter wasn’t in the comics. I don’t mean to trash him; just never really thought he was the best choice.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I had thought the wimpy nerdy version of Spider-Man was only one incarnation, and that there’s other versions of SM that are much more like the Garfield interpretation.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            A black kid at the age of 15 was also the spider-man for a moment, so it means nothing. NOTHING I say. Garfield sucks.

          • DDubya.

            He still is, dude. That’s Miles Morales of Ultimate Marvel.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            *Ugh*, Someone needs to suffer for that

          • DDubya.

            I don’t mind it. Pete is still the 616 Spidey, so the diversity is nice.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I can’t even…

        • Like Rob Schneider! Or Gerard Duepardu!

      • EsusMoose

        Yay Sony hack! Which is partially the reason this occurred

    • Thanks for giving my label some love.

    • I’m tired of this motherfucking skronk on my motherfucking plane!

  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Yay, Manilla Road!

  • Jefrey Waylon Mann

    Today on lolbutzz we see that people are already copying King 810 and being better imo.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      I like the bagpipe metal band.

    • EsusMoose

      Do they actually come from Flint Michigan?

      • The singer from what I can tell actually is. The guitarist is from El Paso, TX, and the rest has been open to debate. The Blog That Shall Not Be Named did a whole thing on it, but their reporting is dubious at best, about as bad as Brian William’s reporting.

    • Spear

      It was a hard choice. Nothing really stood out this week.

      • *cough cough* Adrenaline Mob…

        • Spear

          I couldn’t bring myself to lolbuttz Russell Allen. Just couldn’t do it.

  • EsusMoose

    Time for rwake!

  • Väinämöinen

    Death Karma and Krakow sound tasty.

    • DDubya.

      Death Karma is very, very tasty.

  • tertius_decimus

    Sullen from Portugal is very good.

  • Currently jamming Dearly Defarted…

  • RustyShackleford

    I fucking love Tuesdays. Yep.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
  • CyberneticOrganism

    LORDS OF THE TRIDENT, ASSEMBLE FOR A GLORIOUS CHARGE INTO BATTLE! HUZZAH! TAKETH THINE ENCHANTED FOAM WEAPONS IN THY SWEATY PALMS AND CONSUMETH THINE CANDY BARS FOR QUICK ENERGY! A KING’S FEAST! BE NOT DISTRACTED BY YONDER WENCH’S CLEAVAGE FOR SHE HATH A BOYFRIEND STRONGER THAN THOU ART, AND YE EYES BE PUNCHED OUT! WE SHALL MEET IN THE FIELDS OF GLORY (behind the parking lot) ONCE OUR BATTLE IS WON, AND LET MY KIND-HEARTED CO-WORKER SIR GARY FERRY US TO THE HEAVENLY GATES OF CHIPOTLE!

    • DDubya.

      Is their name based on ASOIAF?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        I KNOW NOT GOOD PRESIDENT CONSULTETH WIZARDPEDIA!

    • AND WE SHALL RAISE OUR GOBLETS OF MOUNTAIN DEW AND YOOHOO IN TRIUMPH!

  • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

    That cowards album is amazing, but this Abstracter is crazy good, thanks karhu/spear

    • BAXXX BXAXXBXAXX

      I must buy dis

    • DDubya.

      I too am enjoying Abstracter.

    • Stabbathley

      Abstractor is sounding pretty good right now.

  • Stabbathley

    That Lords of the Trident sure is catchy and to be honest the lyric video is not as bad as most with the explosions adding a nice effect. But the lolbuttz is inevitable and begins at 2:00 with a chicken playing drums charged with static, followed by one of the worst guitar play throughs ever at 2:26. It starts off with some sort of bandit showing us his chops and for some reason half way through, he’s flipped horizontal. Then it’s over to his buddy, sporting a fine breast plate, at 2:49 to carry the torch. Check out his wink to the camera at 2:53. Superb stuff.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      The chicken threw me off, wtf lol? The song itself is pretty damn good though, I gotta say. Vocalist has a good register, little-to-no cheese. I like this.

      • Stabbathley

        Agreed on the song, but …..

        • Stabbathley

          *goes off to play song again.

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          (o_O)
          Oh my…

        • Damn, just when I thought the gear couldn’t get any sillier than Gloryhammer!………. I get the whole thing of most of them dressed up in Dark Ages/medieval gear, but why is the guy on the right dressed up as Jago from Killer Instinct?!?!

    • it is good! is it just power metal cuz lyrics? the song itself sounds like some gud NWOBHM!!

      • Stabbathley

        It’s also PM cuz imagery and breast plates. 🙂

        Good song though. Just don’t watch the video. Like most PM.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
  • sweetooth0

    Just can’t get down with the idea of the re-record of Gore Metal. There is literally nothing at all wrong with the original that would make you think “man, I wish they would just re-record this thing”. I guess the new one sounds a bit “thicker”, but Matt’s vocals sure as hell ain’t what they used to be. Dropping the long nasty scream in the middle of Open the Abscess put the nail in the coffin for me. Screw this cash grab.

    • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

      The old sounding bad for someone like me, who only recently got into them is a reason enough for me to be interested.

    • Tyree

      Agreed.

  • HessianHunter

    NEW CALL OF THE VOID
    DAAAAMMMMNNNNNN

    • Tyree

      Their drummer is so sick. I talked to him during Ambassadors Gun set 2 years ago. The guy was really nice and was really flattered that I told him that he was an amazing drummer.

      • HessianHunter

        Speaking of Ambassador Gun, that band rules, right? Really cool cats.

        • Tyree

          Hell yeah man! They played really early in the day and just crushed it! I picked up a CD from them too, I think I lost it though.

  • I’m very amped up on that Call of The Void album, Cowards is no joke either.

    • DDubya.

      Call of the Void >>>>>

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Abstracter is gnarly stuff. Been listening to that one for a few days now. Whomever described them as sounding somewhat like Cult of Luna playing sludgy BM is obviously a genius and will probably rule the world one day.
    (0_'<)

    • Abstracter might finally be the band that prompts me to say, “i want to try these drugs you kids speak of and listen on vinyl”

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        Go ahead, make my day.

  • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

    ABSTRACTER STREAMING IN FULL AT BANDCAMP, AS OF NOW.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Omg omg omg omg!!!

    • DDubya.

      It’s also on Spotify.

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        And on my eardrums 😉

  • Tyree

    Putrid Offal could have been pretty awesome sounding, but those drums sound pretty terrible.

    • DDubya.

      I had a feeling you wouldn’t like the drums. They’re a bit distracting for me.

      • Tyree

        Yeah, it’s a damn shame.

  • Tyree

    Shit, I forgot about the new Dephosphorus/Haapoja. Checking this out next here.

    • it brings a good portion of dat Skronk that @Beunhaas:disqus was missing yesterday!

    • DDubya.

      The full album drops on Thursday

  • Count_Breznak

    Let’s find out what Pryapisme can do with one album worth of playtime….

  • EsusMoose

    Listened to Vomiting dinosaur thinking it was Death Karma. I had both open in tabs beside each other and had meant to start DK, probably would explain why I thought it was good but not worth all yall’s hype.

    • Kim Jong Un’s Axis Of Anal

      That’s gotta be interesting as hell playing those two at the same time. Having a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz moment?

      • EsusMoose

        Slightly thankfully I didn’t go off on a three paragraph paranoia spree

  • Dagon

    Only now was I able to give these a go. Seriously digging ABSTRACTER and band names in CAPS LOCK.

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    Daemon Pyre, The Vomiting Dinosaurs and Call Of The Void have all been welcome editions to the Nuges collection

    • Dagon

      Call Of The Void >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      It’s ageless stuff. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • George Clarke

    that ZOAX song was sick, metalcore done right

  • Kim Jong Un’s Axis Of Anal

    Loving the Vomiting Dinosaurs so far! Sorta reminds me of Gutteral Slug but without the Mongolian throat singing/gargling vocals.