This Toilet Tuesday (1/6/15)

2244
258
Share:

It’s the first Toilet Tuesday of 2015! Woo! Today I write to you directly from the toilet, as the harsh Midwestern winter has frozen my ass to the seat. Fortunately for you, that means I’ve had plenty of time to dig up this week’s releases between trying to figure out how to escape without peeling off too much skin and finding new ways to amuse myself. As usual, W, Stockhausen, and I have gathered the best and present them below for your enjoyment. Now, if one of you could bring me a blow-dryer, that would be just dandy… [Spear]

archaic decapitator

Archaic Decapitator – The Catherine Wheel (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Ethereal Aspects,” “Sublevels”

No Clean Singing tells me a Catherine Wheel is an ancient torture device wherein a person would be tied to a giant ring and have all of their bones broken. Sounds pretty gnarly, just like these two tracks by Archaic Decapitator. “Ethereal Aspects” is loaded with juicy start/stop riffs and tasteful leads. “Sublevels” hits you like a pair of brass knuckles to the temple and continues to bludgeon you. Both tracks will break your bones. FFO: Suffocation, Feared, and Obituary. (W.)


eye of the destroyer

Eye of the Destroyer – Ezekiel 16:21 (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Eaten Alive”

It’s always a pleasant surprise to come across a new band that does their thing really well. Eye of the Destroyer play meat-and-potatoes death metal, but they’re some pretty damn tasty meat and potatoes. “Eaten Alive” flows effortlessly through a smorgasbord of great riffs; if this song is the standard for the band, then I think these guys have a bright future ahead of them. FFO: Decapitated, Cannibal Corpse. (Spear)


 

the kill

The Kill – Kill Them…All (Blastasfuk) [Grindcore]
Listen to “Into the Drink”

Man, this is some sinister grind. Noisy, raucous, unrelenting… Everything you want in a grind band is here. This song is short, so I’m not going to drone on about it. If you like grind, don’t sleep on this. FFO: Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Cretin, Scab. (W.)


 

nailgun massacre

Nailgun Massacre – Boned, Boxed & Buried (Xtreem Music) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Where the Head?”

I was a casual fan of Nailgun Massacre’s first album, Backyard Butchery, and preparation for their next album flew way off my radar. I was glad to be reminded of these Dutch death metallers and to jam the pre-release track, “Where’s the Head?” As you might imagine from their name and album title, these guys follow in the footsteps of tried-and-true OSDM traditions, and with satisfying results. What I really like about Nailgun Massacre is the extra touch of vocal variety, and that the delivery style has more than a hint of being truly unhinged. I like my OSDM with some groovy, visceral greasiness, so I know I’ll be digging on this one. (Stockhausen)


volahn

Volahn – Aq’ab’al (Crepusculo Negro) [Progressive Death Metal]
 Listen to “Halhi K’ohba”

I had no idea what to expect going into an album named Aq’ab’al. Maybe that makes me a poser, or maybe that makes a person that has friends and does things, but either way, my expectations were wide open. “Progressive death metal” is a very complicated label, as it can describe something perfectly and give you no idea what it really sounds like. These guys fall in that interesting middle ground; they aren’t shattering any boundaries, but there is a lot of nuance, complexity, and creativity to their sound that makes it hard to pinpoint. Take some Cormorant earthiness, a hint of the furious, blackened riffing and vocal delivery of Plebeian Grandstand, and some of the more interesting but polished elements of Serdce and you’ll be in the right ballpark. We only have one track to go off of, but it’s a serious journey, and I can’t wait to hear this whole album. (Stockhausen)


Battle Beast – Unholy Savior (Nuclear Blast) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Madness,” “Touch in the Night”

Bewitcher – Midnight Hunters (Heretic Fire) [Blackened Thrash]
Listen to “Speed ‘til you Bleed”

Caedes Cruenta – Ερείπια ψυχών (Bestial Burst) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Under the Shadow of Death”

Caligo – Banish the Weakness of Man (No Life Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “A Fortress Lost in Time”

Dethlehem – Destroyers of the Realm (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Oathbound”

Emperor of Myself – Built in Distrust (Goetic Records) [Atmospheric Black Metal]
Stream

In Legend – Stones at Goliath (Independent) [Melodic Metal]
Listen to “Envoys of Peace”

Jupiter – The History of Genesis (Universal Music Group) [Melodic Metal]
Preview

Ketha – #!%16.7 (Instant Classic) [Progressive Death Metal]
Listen to “The Sounderiad”

Musarra – Musarra (Independent) [Instrumental Prog Metal]
Listen to “Namtar”

No Turning Back – Never Give Up (Take Control Records) [Hardcore]

Revetreth – Funeral Darkness ov Bottomless Swamps (Narcoleptica Productions) [Black Metal]
Stream

Wasteland – Slava Palim Ratnicima (Winterrealm Records) [Black Metal]
Preview

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Edward #negrodMMXV

    Torture devices, horrifying gore and Satanic pigs for four albums and then Aq’ab’al, lol.

  • Tyree

    The Kill is neat and there are blast beats and stuffs. Grind it loud!

    https://38.media.tumblr.com/e1456bc997667fe6f81753ec5d621f08/tumblr_mwmqia1HWf1sjjfeao1_500.gif

    • tertius_decimus

      You told me yesterday that I will loathe anything you like. Nope. “The Kill” kills, slays and rocks. Love em.

    • I woke up to the grind. I’ve finally taken the time to set music for my alarm. I set the entirety of Repulsion’s Horrified.

      • Tyree

        YES!!!

    • Didn’t know they were putting something new out, this made my day possibly my week.

    • Lacertilian

      Tyree tick of approval holds much water.
      Many, many waters.

  • RustyShackleford

    This is a good Tuesday. Yep.

  • Howard Dean

    *flush*

    Listen to Drawn and Quartered.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qaC8yKiLiw

    • Tyree

      Howard, I found this and thought of you dude. Some fine looking shit in this!!!
      “25 Bacon Recipes Guaranteed To Ruin Your New Year’s Resolutions”

      http://www.buzzfeed.com/suzefigs/25-bacon-recipes-guaranteed-to-ruin-your-new-years-9ynr#.bum2pgGPO

      • Tyree

        Bacon and Cheese Wrapped Tater Tots & Bacon Hash Browns look amazing!

      • Howard Dean

        Nice! I’m salivating already. I need lunch!

        I’m a fan of bacon as is: just a pile of bacon. When I eat it, it tends to be on its own or in a BLT. I find that including it with certain other foods or incorporating it into other dishes is sometimes overkill: I think dishes prepared with good/strong ingredients should stand on their own, and not be overpowered by bacon (I’m kind of a food snob, haha).

        But I can eat the fuck out of some BLTs. I could eat a pile of BLTs right now, with a little horseradish mayo. Goddamn!

        EDIT: I will say that bacon-wrapped meatloaf and candied bacon looks quite amazing.

        • VVorld Peace

          Howard, just an FYI, if you’re ever visiting a party here in Texas, someone will definitely have a platter of jalapeno poppers. Jalapenos filled with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon. It’s a staple Texan party food.

          • Edward #negrodMMXV

            Those are amazing. I had them at a party here once and have meant to recreate that experience.

          • VVorld Peace

            They’re like my culinary kryptonite. I could eat a whole tray myself.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            That sounds amazing.

          • VVorld Peace

            It ith amathing.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            Thweeeeeeet.

          • Tyree

            Have you ever had stuffed banana peppers with sausage and cream cheese Dubya? I have a great recipe for it.

          • VVorld Peace

            Oh man, I haven’t. Now I want one.

          • Tyree

            Oh man. Me too.

            This food talk is giving me the tummy rumbles.

          • KJM

            Yeah, y’all are killing me here.

          • Lacertilian

            Send some over the Pacific please. Too many beers to make that.
            At xmas the old duck did a mad pineapple & bacon entree (yes, bacon deserves bold).
            She soaked the pineapple in Worcestershire (thanks auto-correct) sauce, soy & garlic first before wrapping with bacon, skewering + oven.
            Simple but effective, kinda like OSDM.

        • Tyree

          I get it man. Bacon as is is pure bliss.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Bacon is the best.

          • KJM

            Hold the eggs.

        • on the topic of BLTs: there used to be a bistro right down the street that made the BLAT: a wrap filled with chopped bacon, lettuce, avocado, and tomato. they used a cracked pepper mayo spread. then i guess somebody thought it would be funny to buy the place and take it off the menu.
          i could strangle a mothafucka’

          • VVorld Peace

            BLAT is the sound a gun makes in Venezuela.

          • I am uncomfortable watching this video.

            GL

          • KJM

            Aw damn, some rustled jimmies at the end of that video.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            You want to see rustled jimmies? Here’s a jimmy rustler: I like all the Bad Company albums, even the ones without Paul Rodgers.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I like that cat. It’s adorable.

          • VVorld Peace

            It’s hard to rustle jimmies when the outcome isn’t the least bit surprising.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            There’s no fans of Bad Company here? I would have at least expected KJM’s jimmies to be rustled by this statement.

          • VVorld Peace

            No, we mean that you liking some classic rock band doesn’t rustle jimmies.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            It appears to have rustled KJM’s jimmies. On the other hand I do not like Pig Destroyer. They bore me.

          • Although the irony of talking about a band that peaked like 40 years ago on a post about new music is not lost on me.

          • KJM

            Dammit, 1975 is 40 years ago now.

          • VVorld Peace

            And people born in 1997 are now 18.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Scary.

          • KJM

            I’ve replied.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            You don’t like Brian Howe? He makes the band sound like Survivor and I like Survivor.

          • VVorld Peace

            We know you do.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            You wouldn’t expect me to like the VOLAHN album though. I enjoy its heaviness.

          • VVorld Peace

            Then talk about that. It’s relevant.

          • VVorld Peace

            You’re killing me, GL.

          • Lynch Mob’s new version. It is sexy a fvck!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjZa1PvnUoQ

            GL

          • VVorld Peace

            I’m not listening to this.

            -W.

          • Fine.

            GL

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Did you hear the new Sewer Goddess song? I’m listening to it right now and I love it.

          • VVorld Peace

            Yes. I posted it on the Facebook.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            The song just ended. I’m going to have to buy that album.

          • KJM

            And that would be even more reason to find him an inadequate replacement because Survivor suck so hard that even black holes get scared off.

          • i’m rustled because bad company has nothing to do with this article… or metal.

          • …or kittays

            GL

          • kitties: the great unifier

          • KJM
          • Edward #negrodMMXV

            BLAOW BLAOW

          • Thuacamole Jim

            BLAOW DAT MUTHAFUGGA

          • Lacertilian

            Another BLAOW BLAOW BLAOW
            http://youtu.be/q9rLeoM7TiQ?t=9s

          • KJM

            BLAOW BOOM BOOM

          • KJM

            That sounds delicious. Why would anyone want to remove that?

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      I’m enjoying this quite a bit Howard.

    • CT-12

      Glad to see these guys getting some love outside of the PNW, great fucking band

  • tertius_decimus

    I dig Ketha.

  • There’s not really any death metal or progginess in Volahn, just pretty standard Black Twilight BM. Still good doe.

    • RustyShackleford

      Also if anyone is curious (assuming at least Stockhausen and a few others because that track is awesome) the whole album is up on that site Realm of Metal M/

      • And if you want a physical copy get it from Iron Bonehead/Ajna Offensive, cuz Crepusculo Negro never send anything out. Also who wants a cassette?

        • Edward #negrodMMXV

          There is only one album I want on cassette but I would also need a cassette player, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

      • i am curious… and i know not of this Realm of Metal M/ site… is it a torrent site or is it something i can listen to at work?

        • More of a torrent site. The site has links to zip files that you download and then extract the music from.

          • expln moar of zipping and extractin pls

            GL

          • Ok. If you use http://v1.realmofmetal.org/ first you search of select the album you want to DL. Then click on the album art. It is a link to a zippyshare.com download of the album. you click on the orange “download now” button, and the album will begin downloading in your web browser. Once it is done go to the folder where all you files are downloaded to and move it into your music folder.

            Next you extract the files. So you will need to google extraction software. I beleive windows has a free download of some. Then once that is downloaded, you right click on the zipped file and select ” Extract Here” and all your done.

          • I am sorry but I was trolololing you 🙂 I feel bad about it since you went to such effort to expln 🙁

            Thanks though!

            GL

          • http://youtu.be/FlxAOhdmzTA * plots revenge*

        • RustyShackleford

          It’s realmofmetal.org they post links to new metal releases where you can download them. Not torrents just direct downloads on stuff like zippyshare or rapiduploader whatever anyone uses these days. They don’t host the downloads just post links to them, but it’s updated really frequently and has some cool releases I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise!

    • Edward #negrodMMXV

      Black Twilight Circle are the jizzle jammer.

      • jizzle jammer FTW!

        GL

      • VVorld Peace

        Christian said not to support them cuz racist.

        • Edward #negrodMMXV

          I am under the impression they are Hispanic. If they are racist against whites I truly don’t care, the music is bomb. Christian did tell me to be skeptical about placing orders for physical media, but that is not something I do anyways so…

          • VVorld Peace

            Good point. Maybe I should check my privilege, because racism against whites doesn’t really bother me that much.

          • Edward #negrodMMXV

            I’m a legit fan of Tukaaria (peep tomorrow’s article lol) and Odz Manouk already. I didn’t know about this Volahn until now but from learning he is in that crew (or the leader of that crew apparently – I did some searching just now) I’m going to definitely check out his music.

          • Howard Dean

            So you are bothered not by the actual act/mindset of racism itself, but only by the intended targets of racism?

            I’ve always assumed the thing humans find deplorable about racism is its inherent irrational hatred–regardless of whom it is directed towards.

          • I think the difference here is in power dynamics.

          • Howard Dean

            Indeed. If we qualify racism in this context under a modern, Western lens, it is not actually racism, because the hatred is not seen as irrational. Hating whites is seen as either a direct response to one’s oppressor, or an indirect “fist in the face” of established power dynamics–with “white” people as the face of this power dynamic.

            I get the reasoning, but I don’t agree with it.

          • VVorld Peace

            I think it’s because I recognize that whites are in a place of privilege and have done so many terrible things to other races over the centuries. I find any bigoted feelings towards someone else based on some inherent trait deplorable, but if I’m really being honest with myself, I think sometimes I’m prone towards what might be called “white guilt.”

          • Edward #negrodMMXV

            See, I have never experienced white guilt. I dunno why I haven’t but I would say it is a good thing rather than a bad thing.

          • VVorld Peace

            I’m not saying white guilt is a good thing. I’m just saying that I (irrationally) sometimes think maybe whites deserve some push-back. If this push-back is based on power dynamics, I think that’s probably okay. If it’s just because someone is white, that’s not okay. But I tend to feel more sympathetic towards minorities who hate whites than whites who hate minorities.

          • Howard Dean

            I’m not a revisionist historian, and fully realize the extent that whites have dominated, decimated, and destroyed other peoples and cultures throughout history. I can’t defend that, and never will be able to do so, because that is pretty well undefendable.

            But I can’t bring myself to level blame and/or shame for these atrocities at people who didn’t commit them.

          • VVorld Peace

            Right. I’m not saying I blame modern whites. I’m honestly just admitting an attitude that I probably need to work on.

          • KJM

            Yep, I admit I find it a bit hard to drum up sympathy for a group of people who don’t really have it all that bad(at least in The US).

          • Howard Dean

            I don’t think it’s about drumming up sympathy. If one doesn’t agree with irrationally hating people, that opinion probably shouldn’t be qualified with a simple “well, except for [insert group].” That’s a terribly weak argument.

            I’m talking IRRATIONAL hatred, which is what racism is: hating people without justifiable or rational reason. By harboring the opinion that racism against white people is A-OK, one says either A) Hatred against ALL white people is justifiable and reasonable, because ALL white people possess a flaw of some tangible feature that justifies our hatred of them, or B) Racism, even against white people, is not ok, of course, but I don’t dare say that, because white privilege, guilt, power dynamics, etc, etc.

            If someone fights back at someone directly hurting them, that is not irrational. But if a group of racists hurts or harasses someone who has not directly hurt them, simply because they identify that person as belonging to a group they despise, that IS racism. They guys in the BTC cannot justify their hatred against whites by saying “Oh, Cortez and Colombus! Rah rah!”

          • KJM

            Oh, trust me, I don’t feel guilty about a damned thing except my own personal actions, and my comments about feeling no sympathy are mostly directed towards those who equate negative comments on the internet with persecution.

          • Edward #negrodMMXV

            HD aren’t you a fan of the Black Twilight Circle though?

          • Howard Dean

            Yeah, definitely. Harkening back to the opinion I expressed in my GBK/Arghoslent article, I enjoy the BTC music. I could enjoy great music made by the Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Idi Amin quartet. That doesn’t mean I agree with them.

            I can’t agree with or support the opinions of the BTC if they are racists–no matter who they hate. To me, racism against whites is still racism. I don’t support irrational hatred. But I do like their music.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Killuminati

            Have you git what I send you, related to this? Strongly, but not maybe wholly.

          • I’m still not quite sure about that tbh. It’s a little touchy for me.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Killuminati

            Yeah, I get that. Maybe I should some slightly longer piece about it? It’s not intended as offensive or being racistic. And I try to make it not appear so.

          • I understand. At the same time, I don’t want to give a pass to people who I think are genuine shit bags. We should take this convo off-site. Shoot me an email.

          • Tyree
          • Hahaha, and somehow this is one of my favorite bands.

          • Tyree

            When all else fails. Lighten the mood with Anal Cunt.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Killuminati

            I have

        • Edward #negrodMMXV

          Also, I know Christian listens to racialist music sometimes, lol

  • VVorld Peace

    The clean vox in Emperor of Myself are kind of lolbuttz, but I like the rest of it.

  • Commander Shepard

    “If you don’t like grind” sorry I don’t understand.

    • Tyree

      Yup.

      • Yup

        • Yup

          • mmmmhmmm
            /cracks ice cold Alamo

          • VVorld Peace

            Joe, I’m sad that we didn’t get to drink Alamo beer together in December.

          • It’s OK though. We will resolve this when it’s not so gosh dang cold out.

          • VVorld Peace

            True!

          • I’m fucking done with winter

          • RustyShackleford

            I go back to Syracuse on Sunday. Winter for me hasn’t even started 🙁

          • Ugh that blows, sorry man. I had to use force to get my frozen car doors open this morning

          • VVorld Peace

            Careful doing that. I’ve seen door handles get ripped off.

          • It’s a 2014 jetta though, if the handle gets ripped off I want my Damn money back.

          • Scrimm

            Me too and its hilarious. I miss living somewhere that gets cold.

          • more beer

            Syracuse sucks in the winter the worst part is you don`t see the sun for like 5 months it`s always grey.

          • Commander Shepard

            lol sucks for you, I just warp to a warm planet when I’m cold.

          • I offer unto you a truce: Nails – Wide Open Wound: http://youtu.be/c4nV8WV-EDY

          • Commander Shepard

            I accept

          • Good now I can go shovel snow without worrying about singularities.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            Damn. I was enjoying your feud.

          • Commander Shepard does not support Noveria.

          • Commander Shepard

            fuck that barren ass wasteland, should have just let the rachni consume it. But I have to be a hero and stuff so yea.

          • you’re um… pretty fuckin hot i must say.

          • you’re um… pretty fuckin hot i must say.

          • Commander Shepard

            Thanks lol

          • Edward #negrodMMXV

            The temps here are hovering around 0 degrees and with the wind chill they are like -20 or -30.

          • Tyree
          • Still not sure if I’m going to watch these guys at MDF

          • i’m not finished yet… there has to be that day of at least 1″ of snow when my shitty Mazda can’t get out of its parking spot without shoveling all the snow from around the rear wheels and placing cardboard underneath them… then repeating every few feet until i can get out onto the road, and fishtail all the way to work, getting stuck on the occasional hill.

          • St Louis sounds like a fucking wonderland.

          • KJM

            It’s going to be -3F in the Boston area tomorrow night, not a typo.

          • and i’ll buy you and all the Electric Friends beer all night when you guys come play here!

          • KJM

            1″? I should be so lucky to only deal with that much snow this Winter.

          • oh we get more… i was more taking a jab at my car 😉 as in, 1″ is enough to immobilize me!

          • KJM

            I’m just dreading the eventual 1-2 ft of snow I’ll have to deal with at some point this season.

          • Dude, living in the Midwest with a mazda is a bad plan lo

          • after a few years i’ve learned that living with a mazda is a bad plan.

          • VVorld Peace

            I legit hate Mazdas.

          • You need to buy a 2000 ish or older Jeep Cherokee for $1500. Best 4wheel per dollar value in the US man! Totes worth the $$$

            GL

          • Scrimm

            I like this story.

          • I’m really happy. It is going to be 9 degrees here tomorrow. I love the cold.

          • You are wrong

          • What is “wrong” really? I would say that it is the absence of being right – much like cold is the absence of heat. If being right is the absence of wrong then heat would be the absence of cold. I don’t want to live in a world where I’m right.
            EDIT: #GetOnMyLevel

          • The Mighty Tapir

            Cold is love, cold is life.

          • The Mighty Tapir

            That Cold is shit

          • The Mighty Tapir

            That Cold is shit

          • Winter can go fuck itself, fall too.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            OH YEAH TEXAS THE COLD PLACE IN NORTH AMERICA EH?

            take me away from all this Canadian misery :'(

          • VVorld Peace

            Jim, you should move down to Texas.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            Actually, oddly enough, I was planning on moving there for a year. Was going to leave this August.

          • VVorld Peace
          • Thuacamole Jim

            hahaha turns out it’s not going to work though — stuff kinda went south this past month for me (partially a very stupid decision, partially stuff beyond my control) so Texas is out, unfortunately. I’m trapped in the wilds of Canada.

          • : (
            You’ll get here one day. Everyone does.

          • Scrimm

            Last time I went to texas a in a fast food place refused to give me my food.

          • VVorld Peace

            What? Why?

          • Scrimm

            Apparently because of my appearance, can’t think of any possible explanation other than that. It was one of those places where they call out your number to go get the food. When they called mine I saw that the lady was watching me and hadn’t let go of the tray yet. I walked up and said it was mine and she replied “No it isn’t,” just giving me the ugliest look imaginable. I repeated that I repeated that it was, saying the order number, she said she didn’t think so. I had the receipt with the damn number on it, which I waved in her face. She asked me if I was sure. Everything about her was radiationg hostility. At this point I got mad so I asked her if she was sure she was born a woman. We were on a family trip and my mom overheard me getting loud and came over, Probably to stop me. The lady said something to her I can’t remember and then my mom who never does anything like that lost her temper too. Kinda didn’t give me the best impression of the place.

          • Note to self, make sure I say “I asked her if she was sure she was born a woman.” if I want something to go from a level 3 to level 10… real fast.

            GL

          • Scrimm

            I was pissed at that point so thats exactly what I was trying to do.

          • Howard Dean

            I’m totally adding that to my repertoire.

          • Scrimm

            I’ve used it twice in my life, both times with pretty explosive results.

          • Howard Dean

            Was it Big Earl’s Baithouse and Restaurant?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXqigm_fbHs

          • Scrimm

            I can’t remember for sure cause it was about 17 years ago but I think it was something similar to a dairy queen.

          • VVorld Peace

            Holy crap. I don’t know that I’ve ever encountered a rude server here. Totally clueless ones, yes, but rarely rude ones.

          • Scrimm

            It was a strange experience, and highly offensive. Who knows man, maybe I reminded her of an old ex or something

          • did you give them money first?

          • Tyree

            Good question.

          • Scrimm

            WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?

          • Tyree

            Nothing, Just as they say here in the toilet, rustling jimmies.

          • Scrimm

            Carrying on the good work ,,/

          • Scrimm

            Yes.

          • The hell, man??

          • Scrimm

            Look below for a recap. I’m still not sure what about me warranted such a reaction.

          • VVorld Peace

            Well, I’ve always wanted to visit America’s hat, so some day I shall come to you.

          • i’ve been to canada twice now, it’s loverly. i’ll come with!

          • VVorld Peace

            Deal.

          • Thuacamole Jim

            LOL @ America’s Hat. If you make your way up here you can stay at my place as long as you like!

          • Thuacamole Jim

            Poutine is seriously one of the best things ever. There’s a French Canadian restaurant here in Edmonton that serves up amazing poutine with fresh cheese curds. Damn, now I’m hungry.

          • I’m yet to find curds around here. I often just use goat cheese crumbles or feta instead. Not the same, I know, but dammmmmmmmmmn good!

          • Howard Dean

            Living semi-near the border with Quebec, poutine is a feature on many menus around me. Cheese curds are miraculous.

          • Spent a few months down there as a kid, in Dallas. Fucking amazing food, but sadly I couldn’t get a boner yet so I could enjoy so many hot latinas down there.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Yup. Grind is awesome.

          • RustyShackleford

            Yep.

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            Yup

          • eeeeyup

      • Mother Shabubu III

        Grindcore is love, and love is a fist. Wear her like a mitten.

  • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

    Who enjoyed the VOLAHN song linked here? I enjoy it quite a bit.

    • RustyShackleford

      It’s awesome!

      • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

        It’s so good. It’s one of my favorite things I’ve heard all day.

    • first things first it’s the trillest! shame we only get to hear that one track…according to metal-archives, they have a full-length from 2008 and several splits. unfortunately my torrent site doesn’t have any, neither does Amazon. best i can find right now are some songs on last.fm!

  • Jupiter is 100% J-power, which is the most weeaboo genre of metal

  • Totally read Ketha as Kesha and promptly wondered why we were announcing that. I then unstupified myself.

    • OOOOOH-WAA-AAH-AAH-AAH!

      • On behalf of all of Southside Chicagoans, we apologize for Disturbed, Kanye West and Jenny McCarthy (outside of her righteous tittaes).

        • A) Kanye West has some great numbers under his belt (admit it or not), B) Jenny McCarthy has some terrific numbers under her belt, prior to becoming famous

          Disturbed… apology accepted.

    • M Shadows!

      THIS IS NOT METALSUCKS WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT KESHA OR DISTURBED OK?

  • OldMetalHead

    Anyone listen to the next track on that Dethlehem album. Comedy gold right there!
    https://dethlehem.bandcamp.com/track/interlude-i-seeking-the-soothsayer

    • VVorld Peace

      That name was cringeworthy enough for me to pass right over them.

      • OldMetalHead

        They’re kind of a melodeath Manowar except they take themselves way less seriously.

        • Sounds like a really bad goth rock band. You know, the kind made of the goth club rejects who wear those oversized boots, squeeze their guts into a corset, and wear hair extensions that look like Snakes In A Can.

  • Stan Laurel

    Emperor of Myself needs to have their genre tag changed to [LOLBUTTZ].

  • Virgil the Ghost Poet

    W, The Catherine Wheel was named after the attempted torture of St. Catherine, the patron of philosophers. She touched the wheel and it broke, so they cut of her head. I will tell you that The Catherine Wheel is a great shoegaze band with an unfuckable/flushable discography fronted by Bruce Dickinson’s cousin Rob.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        Did you ever get to see them live? I saw them on their last tour before the Smashing Pumpkins killed them. It was in an old fire station house that got converted into a concert hall. It was cool. Love that band. Robs solo CD is great also.

        • Sadly, no. I was into them mostly when I was 14 (1995) and they never came around the Cinci area. Didn’t start getting back into them until recently, with my shoegaze kick.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Check out Rob Dickinson’s Fresh Wine for the Horses and I just started listening to MBV again. Great music.

          • Yep! I heard a few cuts from his solo stuff, not bad. MBV and Slowdive are back together, btw. I’ll dig up my photo of my copy of ‘Just For A Day’ that Niel Halsted signed way back when, when I met him after a free show back home.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I love his solo stuff, not familiar with Slowdive. I tried buying the new MBV CD but the cheapest copy I found was over $20 and their is to much music to buy.

          • The new one’s not very good at all, and the production is sub-Darkthrone in my opinion. I’d stick with ‘Loveless’.

    • GUH???

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        I wouldn’t lie to you Jimmy. Both things I said are FACT!!!!!!