This Toilet Tuesday (12/9/14)

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Apparently the looming grayness of winter was too much for most metal bands to handle, as they seem to have all gone into hibernation. Seriously, what the hell? This is the shortest list we’ve featured yet. Fortunately, a handful of staunch hangers-on have seen fit to get off their asses and brave the storm to kick out some new music. Oh, and the entirety of the black metal community seems to have awoken for the winter as well, emerging from their mothers’ basements to frolic in the snow, so get ready to slap on some corpse paint and spit fire in the woods or something. This is Toilet Tuesday. -Spear


cult of fire

Cult of Fire – Čtvrtá Symfonie Ohně (Iron Bonehead) [Black Metal]

Listen to “Vltava”

Cult of Fire are my second favorite heavy metal cult, and easily the best one playing black metal. Last year’s excellent album मृत्यु का तापसी अनुध्यान saw the fiery upstarts from Prague dropping a monolithic slab of trem-and-blast nastiness that displayed a truly captivating and, dare I say, epic take on the black metal formula. The band have returned with new EP Vltava, and they yet again prove that they won’t play by expectations but will rather continue to push the limits on sounds and elements that can be incorporated into this blasphemous genre. This track is expansive and crushing and will take you on a welcome journey through mythic battles and strange lands. Don’t miss it. (W.)


pythia

Pythia – Shadows of a Broken Past (Golden Axe) [Power Metal]

Listen to “The Key”

This year has been pretty damn good for power metal, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop until it’s dead. Pythia’s follow-up to The Serpent’s Curse doesn’t sound like it’ll be breaking any new ground for the band, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m a fan of their heavily riff-driven songwriting and the semi-operatic vocal style their singer brings to the table. Basically, think Norther as fronted by a less obnoxious Tarja Turunen. (Spear)


frowning

Frowning – Funeral Impressions (Wretched Records) [Funeral Doom]

Listen to “Intro/Obsessed”

Frowning is totally a silly name, but the sparse, dire introduction that leads into “Obsessed” should be enough to hold your attention. “Obsessed” is a somber, crushing affair that slowly drags you through a field of broken graves and shattered dreams with a ponderous, slumping pace. Those who want their metal fast, look elsewhere. But if you dig the mournful, seismic heaviness of bands like Thergothon or Catacombs, stick around. Don’t smile though. Only frowning is allowed in Funeral Impressions territory. (W.)


cretin

Cretin – Stranger (Relapse Records) [GRIND]

Stream

Much to-do has been made in anticipation of this record, and for very good reason. From the wonderfully off-putting art to the absolute gut-punch aggression of the music itself, this album is the total package. Grind sits best with me when it incorporates outside influences and displays some diversity, and the raucous, thrashy edge to this album that doesn’t diminish the GRIND works perfectly. It’ll unfortunately miss most year-end lists due to the late release, but we’ll hold in dear in our charred, blistering hearts. (Stockhausen)


 

unsacred

Unsacred – False Light (Forcefield Records) [Black Metal]

Listen to “Plague”

Unsacred are firmly rooted in black metal, but there is an excellent ring of crusty goop solidifying at the edges. When they aren’t blasting, there’s a distinctly menacing feel to the groove, and the reverb-laden vocals top off a positively sinister sounding atmosphere. This album won’t be charting new territory, but you’ll be happy to punch the existing lands of crusty black metal in the face with this absolutely solid full-length. (Stockhausen)


A Thousand Shall Fall – Horizon (Independent) [Melodeath]
Stream

Acranius – Dishonor (Rising Nemesis) [Slamming Brutal Death]
Listen to “Unit 731”

Apocryphal Voice – Pain & Pleasure (Inverse Records) [Progressive Metal]
Stream

Asghath – 11 (Independent) [Black Metal]
Free Download

Astrakhan – A Tapestry of Scabs and Skin (War On Music) [Sludge/Doom]
Listen to “The Pillarist”

Atomic Aggressor – Sights of Suffering (Hell’s Headbangers) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Faceless Torment”

The Banner – Greying (Good Fight Music) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Crippling Despair”

Blood Farmers – Headless Eyes (Patac Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Headless Eyes”

Bösedeath – Impaled from the Left (Rotten Roll Rex) [Slamming Brutal Death]
Listen

Contradiction – The Origin of Violence (Cargo Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Meltdown” (NSFW)

Crepuscolo – Revolution Evilution (Horror Pain Gore Death) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Essence of Pain”

Darkened Winter/Scolopendra Cingulata – Darkened Winter/Scolopendra Cingulata (split- Independent) [Black Metal]

Deathhammer – Evil Power (Hell’s Headbangers) [Black Thrash]
Listen to “Satan is Back,” “Power Trip”

Death Wolf – III: Östergötland (Century Media) [Punk/Black Metal]
Listen to “Today King, Tomorrow Dead”

Decimation – Reign of Ungodly Creation (Comatose Music) [Brutal Death]
Listen to “Aberrant Ablution by Filthy Excrements of a Grotesque Crassamentum”

Dimesland – Psychogenic Atrophy (Independent) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “Dying Foretold”

Dreadlords – Death Angel (Not Just Religious Music) [Doom]
Stream

Evil Masquerade – 10 Years in the Dark (Dark Minstrel Music) [Heavy Metal/Thrash]

Faithful Darkness – Archgod (Coroner Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “An Ocean of Time”

From Hell – 巫峽 Dynasty (Naturmacht) [Black Metal]
Listen to “巫峽 Dynasty”

Hex Morbidity – Hex Morbidity (Independent) [Black Metal]

Klandestyn/Nebelwerfer/Ulvdalir/Ruin/Mor – Harvest: Bloody Harvest (split- Assavlt Records) [Black Metal]
Stream

Mammoth Black – Death is Not Ashamed (Independent) [Sludge/Doom]
Listen to “Open Death Letter”

Maximize Bestiality – Extraterrestrial Skolexomorphic Infestation (Rising Nemesis) [Slam]
Listen to “Caustic Unction of Ferocity”

Melkor – Irrlicht (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Irrlicht”

Mesmur – Mesmur (code666) [DOOM]
Listen to “Deprivation”

Mordhell/Moloch Letalis – Masochistic Humiliation (split- Pagan Records) [Black Metal]
Preview

RAM/Portrait – Under Command (split- Metal Blade) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Welcome to my Funeral” (RAM)

Shed the Skin – Rebirth Through Brimstone (Hell’s Headbangers) [Death Metal]

Sofisticator – Death by Zapping (ETN Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Great Strike”

Solitvdo – Immerso in un Bosco di Querce (Naturmacht) [Black Metal]
Listen

Stormcast – Frame of Mind (Pitch Black Records) [Blackened Melodeath]
Listen to “The Executioner”

Strikeforce – Elegant Steel (HighVolMusic) [Rock]
Listen to “Let Me Rock U” (kill me)

Taake – Stridens hus (Dark Essence Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Det fins en Prins”

Temple of Oblivion – Traum und Trauma (Vama Marga Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen

Tip the Balance – Tip the Balance (logischdenker Records) [Power Prog/Thrash]
Stream

Witherscape – A New Tomorrow (Century Media) [Dark Metal]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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  • WITHERSCAPE. All hail Dan Swanö.

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      I see you have something going up later today. I am gonna read it. That is all.

      • I think it may be scheduled for a bit later. Obviously you can still read it before it posts though 🙂 I have some other quirky stuff I’m working on as well…just been pretty busy lately so IDK when it will get done. Needs to be soon though or else it will be pointless.

        • Edward #negrod4eva

          I don’t think we can see other writer’s stuff until it goes live. I dunno if the editors can, either, but I imagine they can.

          • VVorld Peace

            I am omniscient. And his post goes up next week.

  • 2014 was my revival of Power Metal. My pick in this edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ6e1ibOd40&feature=youtu.be

  • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

    This is actually a great week. My Shameful, the other great funeral doom/death-y, should have included as well. Also does Barathrum come out this or next week?

  • Maximize Bestiality?

  • WHERE’S THE LOLBUTTZ?!

    • GMTA
      -KJM

    • Spear

      Truly, if there is lolbuttz in this world, it lies in the hearts of mankind.

      • that explains all!

      • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

        Maybe Death is just the metaphysical lolbuttz of humanity?

        • Spear

          Seems likely. Death is the physical culmination of all the lolbuttz in life. In the end, nothing can escape its grasp.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            My lifestyle determines my lolbuttz.

          • Death

            That’s mean. I’m not lolbuttz 🙁

          • Gvacamole Jim

            You’re a bit lolbuttz. We all are. We are many in lolbuttz, all else are but one.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            We are, butt one

          • Gvacamole Jim

            Dammit, how did I miss that?? My midi-chlorians are out of whack today.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Lolbuttz is Death… and lolbuttz was my father. And my mother… my brother… my friend. He was you… and me. Lolbuttz is all of us.

          • one more time: #LeaveDeathAlone T_T

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            #LeaveBritneyAlone

          • @metaphysicalanus:disqus is the metaphysical culmination of all the lolanuses.

    • KJM

      I am not happy about this.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

      The new Lynch Mob album is lolbuttz, no offense to GL.

      • Have you listened to it? It fucking rips.

        Go flush yourself!

        GL

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

          I didn’t like it. Don’t worry GL, it’s still better than any Dokken album from 1987 onward.

  • that Cult of Fire cut makes me feel funny down below, like my sophomore geometry teacher used to…
    i guess i can listen to black metal all day, since there’s no lolbuttzmetal

    • Death

      Did you want to put your cylinder inside her?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        MASTER CYLINDER

    • KingPagliacciOvFlushMountain

      I thought that guy got arrested for doing that?

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      I’m surprised that is just being released now, I swear I listened to it a long time ago.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

      I had a hot geometry teacher when I was a sophomore in high school.

      • i know bro, we were in the same class

        • Death

          Plot Twist: Janitor Jim was the geometry teacher.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            Plot twist, Death was the geometry teacher.

          • Death

            Only problem is that a mollusk would be better at geometry than me.

          • Guest

            plot twist, i was Death

          • Death

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            Plot twist: Death, Jimmy Mcnulty and Janitor Jim are the same person.

          • Death

            Plot Twist: Hubert is actually not a goat.

          • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

            Plot twist: Death is a goat, but he’s insecure about his horns.

          • Death

            Plot Twist: It actually is butter.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Plot Twist: Death, the Nordling guy, and the Tom Waits guy are the same person.

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            Two outta three mate

          • Tom Waits For Better Days

            I’m Death, you see

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To
          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            plot twist; KSOFM is actually Hester H.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Plot Twist: Death is actually a lifelover who just puts on a non lifeloving disguise.

          • plot twist: i was death. (my reply should have went to you, not goat guy)

          • Death

            Plot Twist: Everyone in ToH is a one guy suffering from dissociative identity disorder.

          • Bunk Moreland

            Now that’d be one good mothafuckin’ twist!

          • Shhhh, don’t let Jim Gordon know our secret.

          • oh shvt… we need to find him again!!

          • Gvrp

            I swear I saw his Facebook account on a Huffington Post comment section… Didn’t wanna cross that line.

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S KYDNVP VYKTYMS

            FUCK JIM GORDON

          • FVCK JVM GVRDVN*

          • KJM

            Spoiler Alert: The entire Web is a multi-aspect AI created to fuck with me.

          • Because we are many

          • JWG

            I don’t know about this.

            I’m pretty sure I’m only every other person whose (nickname) initials start with J.

          • Lacertilian

            Two Jimmy’s, A Lizard & a Toilet place?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’m 19, how could I be a teacher? Plus, the teacher was a woman who was in her mid-20’s

          • BLVKKBEVRD’S KYDNVP VYKTYMS

            Plot Twist: JJD is Benjamin Button.

  • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

    Can somebody explain me the difference between Brutal Slamming Death and Slam?

  • Oooh funeral doom. Let’s get bummed!

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      Man, I love being bummed, let’s bum… together!

      • Don’t make it awkward.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          You guys doing your butt-smackin’ thing again?

  • P.S. Fuck The Banner.

  • The Bad Photoshop cover of the Year goes to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TnFIDKyX50

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Loving UNSACRED, just what I needed ┼ ┼ ┼

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Just purchased, loving it even more.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    I just got Guardians Of The Galaxy on Blu-Ray. Does that count?

    • CyberneticOrganism

      No. Sorry.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

      I loved that movie but it does not count.

    • it does to me <3

    • FeelTheDarkness

      Can’t please everyone, oh well

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    I forgot that the new Strawbs album came out in America last week. On the subject of lolbuttz the new Lynch Mob album came out today. No offense to GL but it is not a good album.

  • This happened on Friday night at the ETID show, and I think it’s hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CuEJ55UVcU

    • Kicked out because he was a P O S E R

      • CyberneticOrganism

        S-A-W-F-T SAWFT!

      • Something similar happened later on in the show where some guy ran up to try and get a selfie with the vocalist and he was all like “naaahhh” and that same guy that did the karate kick came over and shoved the kid off the stage and into the pit, lol

    • how’s The Granada? i’ve never been

      • It’s pretty great. They were actually closing it for a bit to renovate right after that ETID show.

    • Can’t help but think of the Randy Blythe case when I see something like this. A few inches here or there, that guy is hurt or dead and the guy from ETID going to jail.

      • JamesGrimm

        Then get off the fucking stage.

    • BLVKKBEVRD’S KYDNVP VYKTYMS

      Mannnn, I bet that show was good.

  • Death

    I finally decided to buy Botch’s We Are The Romans. I kind of regret not doing it earlier.

    • then once you’ve exhausted the Botch discog, you can move onto Minus the Karhu!

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I may need to get on that

  • The Planck Epoch

    I am the void.

  • Rob M

    Damn, after 25 years Atomic Agressor finally did a full length?

  • BLVKKBEVRD’S KYDNVP VYKTYMS

    Not too terribly much to get excited about this week.

    • VVorld Peace

      Cretin and Cult of Fire rule.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        Truth.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S KYDNVP VYKTYMS

        Most looking forward to power metals.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      You’re not a terribly exciting either, except, like, right now.

      • BLVKKBEVRD’S KYDNVP VYKTYMS

        I’m a bundle of excrement, i mean … excitement

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    New Taake is alright.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      A little hit and miss on every album, never bad though. Hoest puts on a great show though, Gorgoroth or Taake.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        Gorgoroth… they were so good once.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Not been checking on albums lately (too afraid), but I’d certainly go to a show now that Hoest fronts them on gigs.

  • kapsberger

    Anybody know if the new Taake is actually buyable in the U.S./North America? I’m digging what I heard, but I’m not keen on paying $30-$40 for a CD, once shipping gets added in.

    • VVorld Peace

      A cursory look only turned up imports atm.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    It is a truly great day for the Toilet. For I have returned, as I am, as I was intended, godlike, myself, humble and (n)ever your servant.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    Mammoth Black is good, but who the hell is gonna pay 10USD for one song!

    • VVorld Peace

      The album is on Spotifizzle my wizzle.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        Going!, So I guess it must be whole album on BC too, just showing the one song though.

  • Count_Breznak

    The original to the Kvlt ov Fyre song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI8iTETiSqU