This Toilet Tuesday (1/26/16)


It’s lunchtime, and you’re ravenous. You skipped breakfast this morning and worked all day without a break; you are ready to demolish anything that looks even remotely edible. Fortunately for you, you just discovered a small Vietnamese restaurant that runs a pho special today, so you head there straight after work. Within a few short minutes of arriving, you have a bowl of steaming noodle soup before you bigger than your head. It’s barely on the table before you dive in. A small voice in the back of your head warns you against putting so much spicy liquid into your empty stomach, but you ignore it. You will deal with the consequences as they come.

You head home satisfied with your culinary conquest, but you can already feel an ominous grumbling in your belly. By the time you’ve reached the door, you know your fate has been sealed. As quickly as the pho flowed from the bowl to your mouth, it now flows from your butt to the bowl. The stream of still-hot broth and partly digested vegetables is punctuated by stuttering bursts of gas. The pain is incredible; at one point, you think you feel yourself tearing open. After what feels like an eternity, it finally sputters to a stop. You sigh wistfully as you stand up and flush; you’re hungry again.

The never-ending cycle continues on This Toilet Tuesday.


Conan – Revengeance (Napalm Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Revengeance”

This new Conan song is the audio-equivalent of a PAWG. Little in the middle, but it’s got much back. If you like your doom rockin’ and more bottom-heavy than disgraced rapper Iggy Azalea, Conan is the band for you.  FFO: Wo Fat, Red Fang, Electric Wizard 1/29/16 (W.)


Spektr – The Art to Disappear (Agonia Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Through the darkness of future past”

For 13 years, Spektr have been subverting the norms of black metal. I was a fan of the disarming and often terrifying cybernetic atmospheres the band created on previous albums, but “Through the Darkness of Future Past” has completely eradicated any expectations I may have had for The Art to Disappear. Those deranged riffs and leads counterbalanced against that steady, measured rhythm have completely torn my cerebellum asunder. This is far more hellish than anything Mories accomplished last year. FFO: Gnaw Their Tongues, Terra Tenebrosa, Aborym 1/29/16 (W.)

Dream Theater – The Astonishing (Roadrunner Records) [Playstation 2-core]
Listen to “Moment of Betrayal”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… sorry, I tried to control myself, but it wad all too much. (Buttling Rites ov Karhu)

Viikate – XII – Kouvostomolli (Spinefarm Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Pelasuts” and “Kovaa Teetä”

I’ve been a Viikate fan for some years now. This is maybe the fourth album I really get to expect from them, having evolved from a slow-ish and melancholic fusion of rautalanka (think German Schlagers meets The Shadows) and heavy metal to a faster paced, equally as depressed version of themselves over the years (culminating in a Motörhead covers EP). They’re back from side-project-land. The first single, “Pelastus”, didn’t feel that good with the vocal strain in the chorus and lack of their signature leads. “Kovaa Teetä”, despite ending too abruptly, already sounds much better, yet I must say that even though many of my current favorites of theirs have taken time to grow on me – this is the first V- album I am waiting for, unsure of how I’ll feel about it. Nevertheless, this more rock-oriented Viikate is still worth checking out. (Nordling Butts of Karhu)


Wildernessking – Mystical Future (Grimoire/Sick Man Getting Sick/Les Acteurs de l’Ombre) [Atmospheric Black Metal]

I wouldn’t say that post-black metal is my musical style of choice, but when a band is good, they’re good. Post- bands of any sort walk a fine line between being calming and boring, between emotional and contrived. Wildernessking stay on the positive sides of both those lines with Mystical Future, with grand, weighty themes that don’t feel overblown. It’s as evocative of its imagery as it is emotionally, as well; there are moments that capture the vastness of nature, and it makes me feel very small. In this case, that’s a good thing. 1/29/16 (Spear)

Nordjevel – Nordjevel (Osmose Productions) [Black Metal]

And now, because it’s impossible to have enough Satan: Nordjevel. It’s wintry, it’s evil, the production is crisp, and it’s wholly headbangable. What more could you ask for? In all seriousness, this has some of the best riffage of any black metal release I’ve listened to this year. Turn your ears towards “Blood Horns” and tell me I’m wrong. 1/29/16 (Spear)

Aggelos – Silentium (Rottweiler Records) [Gothic Metal]

Angelcide – Hunting Astral Prey (Elegy Records) [Black Metal]

Angerseed – The Proclamation (Nail Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Unjustified Presence”

Armus – The Fall of Nihil (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Imperium”

Atra Vetosus – Ius Vitae Necisque (Immortal Frost Productions) [Black Metal]

Avantasia – Ghostlights (Nuclear Blast Records) [Symphonic Power Metal]
Listen to “Mystery of a Blood Red Rose”

Baphomet’s Blood – In Satan We Trust (Iron Bonehead Productions) [Speed Metal]

Black Tusk – Pillars of Ash (Relapse Records) [Sludge/Punk]

Bombs of Hades – Death Mask Replica (War Anthem Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Old Fires Die”

Brimstone Coven – Black Magic (Metal Blade Records) [Doom]

Cemetery Whore/Nuclear Holocaust/Hell United/Necrosodomistical Slaughter – Infected By Old School (Defense Records) [Black/Death/Grind]

Chthe’ilist – Le Dernier Crépuscule (Profound Lore) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Voidspawn”

Cruenta Venganza – The Man, the Myth, the Legend (Independent) [Melodeath]

Degradead – Degradead (Metamorphik Records) [Melodeath/Thrash]
Listen to “Victimize”

Disquiet – The Condemnation (Soulseller Records) [Death/Thrash]
Listen to “The Condemnation”

Drainland/Trenches – Drainland/Trenches (split- Vendetta Records) [Sludge/Hardcore]

Embedded – Bloodgeoning (Apostasy Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Cleansed By Fire”

Eternal of Sweden – Heaven’s Gate (Sound Pollution Distribution) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Ruins”

Exumer – The Raging Tides (Metal Blade Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Raging Tides”

The Fog – Perpetual Blackness (Memento Mori) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Inaneness”

Garganjua – A Voyage in Solitude (Black Bow Records) [Doom]

Inclemency – Inclemency (Independent) [DSBM]

Kaos Reign – Screaming for Salvation (Independent) [Thrash]

Ketzer – Starless (Metal Blade Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Starless”

Kozeljnik – Death Gives unto Life (Possession Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “‘Tis the Soul on Wayward Path”

Lethal Steel – Legion of the Night (High Roller Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Sirius”

Master – An Epiphany of Hate (FDA Rekotz) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Face Your Fear”

Maze of Terror – Ready to Kill (Empire Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Lycanthropes,” “Violent Mind of Hate”

Motus Tenebrae – Deathrising (My Kingdom Music) [Gothic Metal]
Listen to “Deathrising”

Paediatrician – Pregnant Pathology (Rotten Roll Rex) [Brutal Death Metal]

Pokolgép – Metalbomb (Gegentrend Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Az alarc lehull,” “Ringben”

Primal Fear – Rulebreaker (Frontiers Music) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “The End is Near”

Proll Guns – Horseflesh BBQ (NRT Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Horseflesh BBQ”

Serenity – Codex Atlanticus (Napalm Records) [Symphonic Power Metal]
Listen to “Iniquity”

Shakra – High Noon (AFM Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “High Noon”

Torture Rack – Barbaric Persecution (Memento Mori) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Coffin Breath”

Sworn Amongst – Under a Titan Sky (Sweden Music Group) [Death/Thrash]

Titaan – Kadingir (ATMF Records) [Black Metal]

Vanad Varjud – Dismal Grandeur in Nocturnal Aura (Symbol of Domination) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Dismal Dusk”

Viikate – XII – Kouvostomolli (Spinefarm Records) [Heavy Metal]

Vinterblot – Realms of the Untold (Nemeton Records) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Evoked by Light,” “Frostbitten”

Vorkreist – Sacrifice (Agonia Records) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Losing Sanity Key”

Wurdalak – Como si no hubiese un mañana (Maldito Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Como si no hubiese un mañana”

Yekun – The Boars Nest (Independent) [Stoner/Groove Metal]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

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  • Sir Tapir The Based

    While it was released last week, the new Ulver album gets a YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS from me.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      That’s good news! I was gonna get into it.

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        Jack… Bauer.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      The two songs on Spotify are A++. I think I will actually have to spend money on that one.

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

      This is what people should listen to , not justin Beaver , Taylor Shit ,and fuck direction

      -andrei260902, 2 days ago

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I listened to the two tracks available on The ‘Fy and thought to myself, man, Ulver has come down a long way, almost like Garm no longer has a desire to make music, just to produce sound.

      A couple of listens later and they’re turning p good.

    • Eliza

      I listened to Moody Stix a few times and I can’t find any flaws with it.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        The whole album is fantastic. Best Ulver album since Blood Inside, which is my favourite of theirs.

        • Eliza

          My favourite is Shadows of the Sun, but I agree with the new album being fantastic.

          • YourLogicIsFlushed

            Shadows of the Sun is a transcendental experience with a nice pair of headphones. It’s one of my go-to albums when I just wanna close my eyes and hear some cool shit.

          • Eliza

            Shadows of the Sound, and all Ulver, is the music I listen to when I contemplate life.

  • The Fog FTW!!! Everything Daniel Cichos is involved in is great. Nocturnal being the obvious one.

  • Bossicus thee Rossicus

    That Conan cover is bad ass.

    • Eliza

      The music is good too.

      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        It jams hard.

        • Eliza

          So does Mystical Future and you should listen to it.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Will do.

          • Eliza

            Yes! I feel proud when I convince someone to listen to something that I like.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I have no problem listening to recommendations from someone i agree with musically.

          • Eliza

            That makes me feel good, because when I try to recommend music to my classmates, they just smile, say they will listen to it and look away.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I’ve been there plenty of times.

          • Eliza

            We’re friends then!

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            I thought that was established already.

          • Eliza


          • Eliza


          • “Hey! Did you checked out this new Trees’n’shit merol band?!”


            “Uhh, yeah! You’re welcome”.

          • Bossicus thee Rossicus

            Mystical Future was pretty cool.

            I think you might like this album, if you haven’t heard it already. It’s a tad different than MF, but i enjoy it quite a bit.


          • Eliza

            It is pretty good.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    Ugh, I might actually subject myself to that DT album. I don’t know why. I’m feeling curious/masochistic.
    That Wildernessking album looks like something I will enjoy though.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I wouldn’t wish that album on my worst enemy.

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

      that’s heart wrenchng bro.

      -Samuel Blessum, 4 days ago

    • if you’re going to put yourself through that, you gotta do us the favor of reviewing it! (please?)

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Eh, it’s popular enough that I am sure there will be more than enough coverage. Maybe if I really feel like I have something to add to the conversation.

        • Mayk Benynton

          I don’t care, I want a compilation of reviews saying how bad it is, and it must be presented in video formed with only one sentence like in movie/game launch trailers.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        Here is my very very professional review of it

    • Eliza

      Listen to the Wildernessking album, it is amazing!

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Doing so now, digging immensely.

        • Eliza

          I’m glad you like it!

  • It might be a tie this week for worst art. Different reasons, of course.


    I’m going to listen to that DT just so I can say I heard how horrible you all say it is

    • Mayk Benynton

      People have done that on FB group.

      • COAL ROLL

        I saw the live-review that happened yesterday, it was amusing

        • Mayk Benynton

          I thought of doing that too, but I think that live-review covers everything I need to know.

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

      who told these guys they could sing? i guess the same people that came up with awards for trying.

      -sendthedethstorm, 7 months ago

    • Eliza

      It’s not all that horrible, it is … uhm… aptly constructed, I think.


      • COAL ROLL

        I think that their intent is for you to watch the videos or whatever with it. I can’t do that while I’m at work and on the phone with headphones on my head

        • Eliza

          I don’t care enough to watch it “the right way”.

  • Mayk Benynton

    I give that DT album a 1.2/10.
    No ‘y’s on the title.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      My rating is 0.7/10. No one should be subjected to it.

  • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2

    avenged sevenfold is the first band in like 20 years that actually knows how to play there instruments there the most popular rock band since marilyn manson

    -My Name Is Legion, 2 years ago, in reply to church074

    • CyberneticOrganism
    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      How come you never sent those cunt pics?

      • Vault Dweller

        Parental Controls intercepted ’em!

    • Unholy fucking christ fucking ass fuck… Fuck.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Sometimes I wonder whether these reposts can possibly be real.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Butss. So many butsss. It hurtsesss

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    That Nordjevel cover can fuck off.

    • Dubs

      I like the troll’s little tail.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Looks like he’s taking a dump. Just saying.

        • Eliza

          That will never be unseen.

    • Mayk Benynton

      Those vocals aren’t so good.
      Sounds like he’s trying too hard and doesn’t have “it”.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Well, the dude is getting old.

      • I liked. It sounds like an old Tazmanian Devil having stomach contractions.

    • They crushed last time I saw them live.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Nordjevel is good, good shit. Even with the little troll tail.

  • My mother in law makes a mean bowl of pho. It’s delish.


    Baphomet’s Blood could use a little more Satan in the vox dept, but not too bad

  • Mayk Benynton

    Cool new Avantasia, I can barely hear it because of the drilling and hammering noises above me, but it’s cool.

  • Treebeard, Father of Fangorn

    This new… Music, is it? Is very good, even for one that has seen as much as I have. Conan is a man familiar with his lute.

  • Treebeard, Father of Fangorn

    I apologize for submitting so many new comments so quickly, though it felt this most recent appropriate. The new Fenriz Radio program has been borne unto this world. I urge you to consider listening to it, as many of these aggressive poems are from 2016. Baphomet’s Blood is on the list approved by the entmoot of the Toilet, and indeed it shares a list with Fenriz. Trhhoooooommmmm.

    • It’s all good but slow down, eh? Don’t be hasty.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Fenriz is a Baroness fan and likes his cornflakes soft, I can no longer listen to black metal.


    Very good tuesday.

    New Conan, new Wildernessking

    Thats two big wins

  • Eliza

    Mystical Future is my favourite one. I love that album.

    • I’m jamming this. The drums sounds good, too.

      • Eliza

        The drums have a sort of energy that contrasts the melancholic feel of the music. So, they sound very good.

        • nomnomnomn melancholy.

          • Eliza


          • Mayk Benynton

            Melancholy is delicious.

          • This guy got it.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well you both are Mexican.

          • racist

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I hate everyone equally.

          • “I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.” – A thing racists say

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Well you got me.

          • The reason I hate you is because I’m a racist.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Trve Aryan Tapir

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            That’s the name of my NSBM project. Every album has 88 songs.

          • I’ll have to play wearing a mask or costume so I don’t lose any of my left-wing street cred. Instead of Triple H, I’ll be Double H.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod


          • Hahahaha!

          • Dubs

            Often followed by, “I own a colored TV.”

          • Dubs! Joe got me, too!

          • Dubs

            Guac and I told you yesterday that you’re racist. It is known.

          • It’s probably an elfic treat.

          • Dubs

            Well, the elves in both Tolkien lore and Warhammer lore are pretty racist, sooo…

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            HA, I never really thought it that way, but yes. Yes they are. Tolkien was obsessed with the wrong kind of people.

            *EDIT: Meant to respond to the elvish racism comment*

          • Regardless, if I was to make a list of people from the Toilet that I would like to meet, you would be at the top. I am sure in person you are not as radical as you make yourself out to be 🙂

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            After that “meeting Tapir” would be on your list of worst things in your life.

          • You are a big softy. Just give it up!

          • Eliza

            I agree. It’s a confy feeling.


    Paediatrician is some messed up stuff man

    • I kinda like it

      • COAL ROLL

        I need to stop being such a lifelover

        • I could do without the poorly-drawn gore. I’m just in it for the slamz n’ breakdownz.

          • COAL ROLL

            hail satan that I can;t understand the vox

  • EsusMoose

    Toothgrinder’s debut is coming out I think this week, that’ll be cool

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      You should remind me when that happens.

      • EsusMoose

        I guess it’ll be Friday, just checked but I shall attempt to remind!

  • pretty much love at first listen with that Spektr song

    • Dubs

      I’ve hammed it like 5 times now

      • you know what you’re getting with being my friend by now

        • Dubs

          This sentence confuses me.

          • i’m struggling today. i best stick to observing!

          • Wordsmithing Level: Reel Gud

          • He said that you should know how JJM rolls by now, since you are friends with him


    I like the Vinterblot too.

  • Brimstone Coven is Doom Shake approved.

    • Bossicus thee Rossicus

      Will be listening at lunch

      • Very authentic sounding 70s style, spooky(but not too spooky)hard Rock, not quite Metal.

        • Bossicus thee Rossicus

          I can jam it. Don’t know if I’ll pick it up this week, but it’s good.

  • Spektr – The Art to Disappear. HOLY MOTHER FLUCK. Is anyone else digging thissss?????

    • Dubs

      *raises hand*

      • *high five*


      • I am srs disappoint that there is only one song.

        I want more. More I say!!

        • Dubs

          Definitely check this album out. It’s spoopy.

          • I love that there are no vocals. If there were, it would be too much to digest.

            I am in awe, Dubs!

          • Dubs

            Excellent. Been a fan of them for a while, even if I often mix them up with the equally spoopy Stagnant Waters.

          • My first take is that it is not too spooky at all. Just… different. Heavy.


      this sounds to me like they draw a lot of influence from later morbid angel

      • COAL ROLL

        Oh wait you never listened to them…did you fix that yet?

        • hehe nope. Too boring. I couldn’t get into them. Lo siento!


          • COAL ROLL

            wow GL, boring? that’s a paddlin

          • I felt like I was trying to comprehend some great thing that everyone knew about but I just could jive with… it was off putting.

            Know what I mean?

          • COAL ROLL

            I have that same experience with a lot of black metal

  • Dagon

    I heard someone is a fan of PAWGs

    • Old Man Doom


      • Bossicus thee Rossicus

        I just wanted to let you know, Nick from Turbid North name dropped you in a conversation. I saw them tonight and we hung out for a bit, talking about the toilet, gear, etc. The band really enjoyed the review you did for Eyes Alive and our community as a whole.
        If you are interested, I have a sticker signed by the band that I would gladly mail to you.Send me an email at and i will ship it as soon as i can.

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          Incoming dickpics.

    • Dubs

      You only like them for their pits.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    I think I do prefer Spektr to hit with a passage of more traditional BM vocal mania now and again, but the lack thereof doesn’t diminish their ability to cast disturbing and cinematic spells. New Conan promises more good service to the name, Nordjevel have that lovely, crisp cool feel of razor wire molestation and Wildernessking have those vital feels. Good good times!

  • Waynecro

    Some of those Nordjevel songs have a Naglfar feel, which I dig. Wildernessking sounds pretty cool as well, and I’ve always kind of liked Degradead.

  • nbm02ss

    When listening to the new Conan track I forgot to turn off “auto play”. Mistakes.

  • tigeraid

    Lost it at “Playstation 2-core.”

  • Owlswald

    Man, I’m so bummed about that new Conan album. Blood Eagle was so fucking killer..

  • Ess Gee Dee

    I love that you guys actually put the genres in the quick list. That’s so fucking handy and I’ve ended up finding tons of awesome stuff.

    Plus, FUCK YEAH CONAN!!!