This Toilet Tuesday (12/30/14)

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Greetings, toilet urchins! Our main man Spear is taking care of some business today, so he asked me to once again seat my cheeks upon the gilded bowl. I will do my best to mimic his sweet stench for you. As you’re likely aware, the end of the year typically presents a dearth of new releases, but if you really put some elbow grease into it, you can scrape along the bottom of the rim and find some cling-ons to satisfy your vile, claggy tastes. So pull on those rubber gloves, grab the Scrubbing Bubbles, and get to work with us. [W.]

Abysmal-Darkening-Sub-Terra-Artwork

Abysmal Darkening – Sub Terra (Totalrust) [Blackened Doom]
Listen to “From the Grail”

Abysmal Darkening bring the slow-burning pummel on “From the Grail.” Blending the artistic sensibilities of black metal with the occult leanings and ponderous pace of doom metal, this track from the upcoming Sub Terra offers an intriguing look at how to blend these two disparate subgenres. Things start off a bit uneventful, but by the end of the track, your soul has been seared by a crawling conflagration. I’m definitely interested in hearing the rest of this blasphemous rite. [W.]


 

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Cryostasium – Cryostasium (Satanath/Crucial Blast Records) [Black Metal]
Stream

My interest is always piqued with something involving Crucial Blast Records (NSFW album art in that link), even if it’s just a distribution deal. We’re only given a preview of Cryostasium’s new album, but this intensely noisy and horrifying album is sure to deliver on the whole. Electronics play a primary role here, but a band-like sound can be heard beneath the walls of fuzzy static, along with buried screams and nasty samples. The hypnotic, cycling patterns recall some twisted form of shoegaze, but only if yours eyes haven’t shut in a year and had sand blasted into them while you’re still trying your hardest to gaze. [Stockhausen]


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Dawn of a Dark Age – The Six Elements vol. 2: Water (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Old Path of Water (Where You Rot Slowly)”

Dawn of a Dark Age also dabble in slower, sinister black metal. “The Old Path of Water (Where You Rot Slowly)” is so saturated with dank fuzziness that even KJM could catch a contact high from it. Don’t be deceived by the slow start and raw production, though. There are some devilishly clever techniques at play, including killer riffs, abyssal bellows, and sweet sax/clarinet licks. This is unique black metal that should not be missed. [W.]


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The Temple – As Once Was (Independent) [Doom]
Stream

I’m not typically drawn to doom, and when I am, I prefer it nasty, blackened, heavy, or otherwise be-filthed. In an effort to broaden my doomrizons, I sat through a full run of The Temple’s new EP, the independently released As Once Was that follows a more classic approach to doom. I was not at all disappointed, as there was something supremely catchy woven in the dark and hazy riffing. “All Hope is Gone” has a distinct, well-crafted folk tinge to the meandering vocal lines, and these guys know when to keep things moving to avoid boredom. The production has plenty of mid-range thickness, and the deep snare sound really ties the room together. The physical EP is limited to 300 copies on their Bandcamp, and priced very reasonably. Get your hands on this one. [Stockhausen]


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Znafelriff – Ruin (Independent) [Black Metal]
Stream

Independent black metal can be really hit and miss, especially when the band has a name that looks like a Scrabble board after an earthquake. Znafelriff dials in a raw, lo-fi approach without overdoing it, topped off with some nasty, gargly vocals. The opening statement of the album is immediately captivating, and while some of the guitar work is lost in the production, there is still enough frostbite in the riffs to stick in your head. Bands with a similar sonic approach tend to blast the album away with no variation in intensity, but Znafelriff take time for some icy moments of cold, grim space, adding a layer of complexity to this highly enjoyable raw black metal effort.


Artificum Nex – Epitaph for Life (Satanath/Black Plague Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Behold the Agony”

Cendra – 666 Bastards (Xtreem Music) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Satánic D-Beat”

Defaced – Forging the Sanctuary (Rising Nemesis Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Venomous Eden”

Delusional Parasitosis – Ingurgitating Intestinal Rot (New Standard Elite) [Brutal Death Metal]
Listen to “Gluttonous Consumption of Prenatal Malformation”

Entities – Novalis (Independent) [Djent]
Listen to “Esuna”

Funeris – Funereal Symphonies (Independent) [Funeral Doom]
Listen to “Mournful Procession”

Hellucinate – Destroy (Independent) [Black Metal]
Stream

Mazzey – Reincarnation (Capcomia Studios) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Fuck the Haters”

My Darkest Fury – Hectic Existence (Satanath Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “A Road to Nowhere”

Sabbat/Hades Archer – Unus Cantus Bestiae/Melody of the Unknown (Veins Full of Hate) [Black Metal]

Surra – Somos Todos Culpados (Independent) [Hardcore]

Volition – Wreck Among Ruin (Totalrust) [Sludge/Doom]
Listen to “A Wreck Among Ruins”

Witchrist – Vritra (Iron Bonehead) [Death Metal]
Stream

Witchrist/Antediluvian – Witchrist/Antediluvian (Martyrdoom) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “The Burning Reprieve”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIAVIA, VIA, and VIA)

  • Edward #negrod4eva

    I’m only pretty sure
    That I can’t skronk anymore
    before you play those chords
    I wonder what are we skronking for

    When I pitch shift vox
    I wanna get out of this
    I wonder is there skronk anymore
    I’m gonna miss

    I wonder how it’s going to skronk
    When you don’t know me
    How’s it going to skronk
    When you’re sure I’m not there

    How’s it going to skronk
    When there’s no one there to skronk to
    between you and me
    ‘Cause I don’t care
    How’s it going to skronk
    How’s it going to skronk

    Where we used to laugh
    There’s a skronking match
    Sharp as a thumbnail tack
    A skronk that I can’t ignore

    Like the hammock by the doorway
    We spent time in, swings skronky
    I don’t hear tweedles like last fall
    When it was always about to skronk me

    I wonder how’s it going to skronk
    When it goes down
    How’s it going to skronk
    When you’re not around

    How’s it going to skronk
    When you found out there was nothing
    between you and me
    ‘Cause I don’t care

    How’s it going to skronk
    How’s it going to skronk
    When you don’t know me anymore

    And how’s it going to skronk

    Wanna get myself back in again
    The dissonance of oblivion
    I wanna hear the skronk of your chords
    The dissonance of oblivion, oblivion

    How’s it going to skronk
    When you don’t know me anymore
    How’s it going to skronk
    How’s it going to skronk
    How’s it going to skronk

  • BEVRDBEVRD

    Not much here to tickle my fancy

  • Tyree
    • Howard Dean

      My feelings as well. Both bands are monstrous. I particularly adore Antediluvian.

      Also somewhat interested in the Sabbat/Hades Archer split. Don’t know anything about it (could be a comp. of demos or new material, I don’t know). Might investigate further.

      • Tyree

        The new Antediluvian has got me all sorts of giggity.

        • Howard Dean

          I really enjoyed λόγος, even though I don’t think it’s as good as Through the Cervix of Hawaah.

          It was strange to see them release Through the… on Profound Lore and receive widespread distribution (that album was widely available from record stores and online shops). yet release the followup λόγος on Nuclear War Now! and receive a much slighter distribution. That is assbackwards from how it usually works. Oh well. They were both good albums, and I like both labels.

        • two songs into their 2011 release and i want on this train with you guys!!!

          • Howard Dean

            Hop on the train! It’s heavy and scary as fuck! Full of marauding, homicidal hobos and void-demons.

      • Spear

        Couldn’t find any music posted, but I think it’s new material.

        • Howard Dean

          Nice!

      • Simon PhoenixKing

        I like Hades Archer quite a bit, but I’m sure Sabbat is going to completely dominate this split.

        • Tyree

          I have the same feeling. I remember looking through Sabbat’s discography on Metal Archives and just being like, WHAT!?! It’s fucking immense dude! So much shit.

          • They are prolific sons of bitches.

          • Tyree

            Handsome too.

          • Def would.

          • Howard Dean

            Would procreate/10.

        • Howard Dean

          Hades Archer is pretty good stuff, though I find that among metal fans they are known more for their ridiculously titled EP Penis Metal than they are for their actual music.

          I agree, though. I imagine the Sabbat side will dominate.

  • Guys,

    I nominate Mazzey FTW. The used a real “video” camera for their video.

    JL

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CgMx3jp6GY

    • KJM

      This is hardcore lolbuttz.

      • the solo at 3:15 is clutch. I can only assume that copious amounts of drugs had to be involved in the making of this video. Furthermore, they had to be on drugs enough to post it on the internets. I am done here.

        JL

        • KJM

          I did not make it that far.

          • Spear

            Go for the whole thing. It’s gloriously terrible.

        • They got together after creating this, and said “yes. This is good. We should post this. This is a good idea.”

          • KJM

            I can only hope for their sake they made this as some kind of ironic parody.

    • there’s plenty of people in missouri who look like that. now.

      • How is Lynch Street treating you, friend? That is such a bad ass street name!

        JL

        • it’s great! i’m discovering that home ownership costs a lot though. here’s another good St. Louis street: (refresh to view image)

          • A city made just for you 🙂

            Yeah, houses. Crazy man. Expensive for sure!

            JL

          • Lacertilian

            where are the fucking trees in that area?
            wow.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

    Dawn of a Dark Age!

    And Funeral Doom, Death/Doom, Sludge/Doom. With Experimental BM and to top it all, Stockhausen making an effort to get into Doom. Now this is a week about which I would say: “This is a good week.”

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      On that blogspot we were just talking about, there is a lot of funeral doom that is one of the things that the label specializes in – some of it that I have heard already kills.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

        I shall delve into it ever so deep.

        • Edward #negrod4eva

          I’d like to just take a week off from life, turn out the lights, not clean myself or groom myself, and play albums from SVN OKKLT while eating cool ranch Doritios – only cool ranch Doritos.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Sounds like a plan.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

      Also Cryostasium is very fine.

  • not enough Znafel riffs.

  • I would like to comment about how much I hate wah-wah pedals.

    Anyone else?

    JL

  • Scrimm

    In addition to the Delusional Parasitosis album, New Standard Elite is also releasing Excoriations self titled album this week.

  • Guys,

    Should I get Chipotle or Burger King for lunch? Both sound awesome as fuck and will leave my tummy full as a mother till post work.

    Poll time.

    JL

    • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

      Chipotle. Anything is great with Chipotle.

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      Chipotle.

      ND

    • Tyree

    • Scrimm

      I can’t eat Burger King anymore. When I was in the Army they had a deal so every army post had a BK and they were always shitty. None of the special food they come out with sometimes, just the basic menu. I still haven’t gotten over being burnt out on them.

    • Howard Dean

      I vote Chipotle only because there isn’t one within 50 miles of me and I’m jealous as fuck.

      Also, Burger King is pretty hit or miss.

      After my meatloaf and taters yesterday, I’m settling on a bag of beef jerky and some roasted peanuts today. Lunch of champions (also the lunch of those who bought their lunch at a gas station).

    • Chipotle > Wendy’s > Burger King

      • Edward #negrod4eva

        In N Out Burger >>>>>>

        damn those on the west coast. I hope they burn in hell!

        • They are going to slide off in the Pacific anyway!

          Which reminds me- I was at a conference in San Diego last spring (engineering conference) and I met this guy who had never been to California before and he went on and on about how California was going to slide into the Pacific. I kinda chuckled and he got all serious. Some ppl!

          JL

          *Chipotle was the cats ass btw! I am in a serious food coma at the moment*

        • KJM

          We have Mr Bartley’s in the Boston area. The only way a burger could be better is if they laced it with heroin.

          http://www.mrbartley.com/mrbartleys-menu.html

          • Best burger I’ve ever had was at Kuma Corner back in Chicago. Not to mention they play nothing but metal there, especially death metal, and name all their burgers after metal bands. They have a Nachmystium burger, so maybe the heroin-laced burger thing exists there! That and the burger would never arrive after you order it and pay for it.

            “The burger’s in the mail, I swear!”

          • KJM

            The burger menu changes often at Bartley’s so, if you don’t like what they have right now, just wait a few weeks/months.

            I heard about Kuma Corner from a Twitter friend. I’d love to have a Metal themed restaurant in the Boston area.

          • fvck yeah, Kuma’s Corner! last year i went with the Absu burger (tomatillo salsa, pepperjack, avocado red onion relish, queso fresco, trio of fried chiles)

          • Can any burger be worth those prices? Dang man. I heard the east cost was expensive, but damn!

            JL

          • KJM

            You won’t eat anything else all day. They’re extremely filling.

            Living here costs a lot but it’s worth it IMO. For one thing, I can get pretty much anywhere I need to without owning a car. That saves me bigtime money. Everything I really need is within a 5 minute walk.

          • Fair enough.

            Country living man. That is where it is at. I get home on Friday night and do not leave until I have to go to work Monday morning. It is great. Too many ppls in the city!

            JL

          • KJM

            Whenever I visit my best friend in Windham, ME I can’t sleep. It’s just way too quiet. I’m a city boy through and through.

          • Howard Dean

            Damn, and Windham isn’t even in the country, really. It’s part of the greater Portland area. You must really be a city boy!

          • This is a good song about the city, byah!

            JL

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmE_l_dN9UM

          • KJM

            Love me some Scorpions.

          • KJM

            As a kid I used to spend Christmas Vacation in Randolph, VT with friends of the family. The scenery was gorgeous but I was bored to tears after the first day.

          • Howard Dean

            I live and work very close to Randolph. Hah!

          • KJM

            Hence your screen name. ^_^

            We were about a 10-15 minute walk from Snowsville General Store, the only sign of civilization in the area.

          • Howard Dean

            The great thing about the Northeast (New England in particular) is that you can live in the country yet still be relatively close to the more populated areas (with their culture, food, and fun). I live in the middle of nowhere (very rural; heavily forested), yet in a (relatively) short drive, I can be at museums, shops. and gourmet restaurants. I can drive to Boston in a little over two hours; NYC in about four and a half. And there are several large towns/small cities with great amenities that are closer. It’s country living without the isolation of a Montana or Alaska.

          • That sounds primo man!

            JL

          • Howard Dean

            It’s pretty sweet, I agree. The major downside is that it’s expensive: you get a similarly expensive cost of living with fewer opportunities to make money (good jobs are much more scarce).

          • KJM

            Oh man, you have to be Mr Freakin’ Wizard to get a tech job in the Boston area.

          • Howard Dean

            I can’t imagine what the job market is like in the greater Boston area. Must be fucking brutal. More opportunity, sure, but also massive competition.

          • Although I live in the country it is all farm country. Very flat. I would kill to live in a wooded region, like southern Ohio. But there is no industry for engineers down there.

            JL

          • Howard Dean

            Yeah, unfortunately the heavily wooded and hilly regions are typically not conducive to a bustling workforce (outside of semi-skilled labor and tourism).

          • KJM

            I can ride my bike for about 15-20 minutes and be outside the city with plenty of trees, grass and all that good stuff, even horses.

          • Howard Dean

            Yeah, those are pretty standard rates for burgers at better, more refined establishments in New England. $10-12 is common, though I see they have some listed upwards of $15, which is getting pretty steep.

          • KJM

            Believe me, the price is the only thing refined about Bartley’s. The actual place is beyond greasy spoon dive.

          • KJM

            9 times out of 10 I usually make my own burgers. I have a 1st class meat market just a block away. Everything I need to make a tasty burger is right there.

          • Tyree

            I tend to aswell. I have a cabin in the woods that I go to some weekends, and there is a great farmers meat market on the way there. I always stop and get some good hamburger and steaks.

          • or headband kush

          • KJM

            That’s for after lunch. ^_^

        • In N Out Burger = only good use of the bible. i dunno, i’m sober right now.

          • Howard Dean

            Wait, is In N Out Burger a religious franchise? I don’t know a thing about them.

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            Me either, I know Chick Fil A is.

          • Yeah, they have bible quotes on the bottom of all their cups and little french fry cartons. I’m okay with it because gluttony.

          • Howard Dean

            PRAISE GLUT, PATRON SAINT OF SUBCUTANEOUS FAT

            For real, though, if their burgers are as good as everyone says, I’d still indulge, too.

        • NefariousDude

          I used to be loyal. I used to salivate at an uncontrollable rate for in n out with a burning passion in my heart. But then One day something changed. A shadow emerged upon the horizon and it darkened my heart and tastebuds, numbed them to the delights of in n out, I cried out in fury and questioned this new entity “why? Who are you? What have you done with the things I’ve loved?!” With a thundering that tore the sky asunder it answered “I AM SMASHBURGER AND I AM VOID”

          • Edward #negrod4eva

            We have Smashburger up here, pretty bomb. In N Out is a usually unattainable delicacy though.

          • NefariousDude

            In out still good tho don’t get me wrong.

        • NefariousDude

          Also west coast>
          Nananana

        • VVorld Peace

          We have some in parts of Texas too!

      • For some reason, I can’t stand Wendy’s. For me it’d be Dumpster Scraps > Wendy’s.

    • KJM

      Between those two, Chipotle.

    • Chipotle’s awesome (one of the shittiest places I’ve ever worked though, all 3 1/2 weeks of it), but always ends up with:

      http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3748198/randy-marsh-shit-o.gif

  • No power metal this week? Let me fix that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94DLb5lQAZA

  • Scrimm

    Tried that Dawn of a Dark Age, but the second I hear a sax I’m out. No exceptions.

  • Whoops

    Whoops really digs Dawn of a Dark Age.

  • KJM

    Most underrated Metal band of the 80s IMO

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbGo9H2qMpA

  • Liking the Cryostasium so far! Sounds like a methed up version of old school Jesus And Mary Chain, or Coalter Of The Deepers on fuckloads of distortion.

  • look everybody, @tyreegearhart:disqus found a loophole in the system:

    • Tyree

      This band sucks. Get this dumpster creation out of here.

      • Scrimm

        Now I want to write a song called dumpster creation.

        • Tyree

          I think it’s already a song 😉

          • Scrimm

            FUCK

  • JWG

    Some time in the past I bought a bunch of CDs from CDUniverse, so every few weeks I get mail about new albums I’d like. This weekend’s installment listed Blackguard’s new album as out TODAY.

    Now, never mind that the album is (by admission of the band itself) incomplete – they’re fundraising for the last aspect now – which is a big contradiction in itself.

    The other sign its an incorrect listing is that it says it’s released on Victory Records. They left Victory months ago.

  • Lacertilian

    Not enough Black & Doom Dubya.

    • VVorld Peace

      Not enough Lacertilian for my liking.

      • Lacertilian

        Defaced raped my face with some of those riffs.