This Toilet Tuesday (1/20/15)


Greetings, fellow flushers! With the constipated fall months firmly behind us, winter has finally spread wide its icy rectum to let the ripest new albums gush into our willing earholes. As always, your ever-faithful Stockhausen, W, and I have let the best seep in a little deeper than the rest and presented them below. With that pleasant imagery now rooted in your mind, we bring you This Toilet Tuesday.


Arcane – Known/Learned (Sensory Records) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “Instinct”

When “Instinct” first started, I immediately thought of the completely bored, shh-not-so-loud-guys face of The Contortionist singer. As I let it play, it didn’t take long to realize that Arcane is the fantastic, fully realized form of what obnoxiously trendy bands like The Contortionist and Tesseract try to be. The depth and the contour of Jim Grey’s vocal lines (which you may recognize from Caligula’s Horse) mixes beautifully with the clear sincerity of the rest of the band’s weaving instrumental work, and it is perfectly evident that there is no mold that this group is cramming itself into. Don’t expect any straightforward metal here, as you won’t find any harsh vocals or blast beats. We do, however, get some heavy, powerful moments that are thankfully free of any trace of that all-too-common 8 string bouncy chug sound. I really hate to keep referencing these guys from that point of view, but since so many “progressive” bands’ formula is to find a decent singer and djent the day away, I want to make it perfectly clear that Arcane are a breath of fresh air. Check it out. (Stockhausen)


Malnátt – Swinesong (Il Male Produzioni) [Folk Metal?]
Listen to “Sleipnir”

Depending on the band, the “folk metal” tag can tell you everything, or it can tell you nothing. There was a slight look of puzzlement on my face as I listened through “Sleipnier,” placing them firmly in the latter category. With an intro that could work in a power metal or a folk metal setting, it quickly transitions to a jaunty weaving through Italian spoken word sections for most of the song, accompanied by the oddly fascinating album art in the lyric video. The tune then erupts into a layered black metal assault, and then just sort of…stops? The point of all this is that I get the idea that the album will be impossible to judge by this one song, however fascinating it may be. Check it out, and get on the full album here. (Stockhausen)


Caïna – Setter of Unseen Snares (COF Records/Broken Limbs) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Vowbound”

There are many ways for a black metal band to distinguish itself from the hundreds of bands all copying each other; Caïna do it by simply by being very good at songwriting. “Vowbound” opens with a series of dark chords over blastbeats (as black metal songs are wont to do), but it doesn’t linger in any one place for very long. A bouncy black’n’roll-ish riff pops up a couple times, and the song closes out with a menacing key change/volume swell with a massive droning chord beneath the raging tremolo-picked lead. It’s a quality song, and I hope that the rest of Setter of Unseen Snares holds up. (Spear)

 the slow death

The Slow Death – Ark (Chaos Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Adrift”

I know a few of you like it slow. Like really slow. Well I’ve got just what you crave. Doom metal band The Slow Death drop things to a glacial pace that is as constant and unrelenting as an arctic ice floe and as beautiful as the Northern Lights. Vocalist Mandy Andresen’s gentle laments float and flicker among the black tar of the death vox like some ignis fatuus. Delicate, lugubrious keys provide a mournful counter to the crushing riffs. For almost 17 minutes, “Adrift” will lock you in a frozen serac as you watch life around you erode into a haze of grey snow and black thunderheads. I’m definitely looking forward to checking out the remainder of Ark. FFO: Saturnus, Giant Squid, Morgion. (W.)

lamentations of the ashen

Lamentations of the Ashen – Libertine Cyst (The Evergreen Spires) [Black Metal]
Listen to “A Profane Illvmination (Convvlsionaries Ov Temporal Heterodoxy)”

When looking at the list of bands for This Toilet Tuesday, I just knew I had to check out a group called Lamentations of the Ashen. I’m glad I did. After an ominous introduction that builds climactic foreshadowing, “Dissentient Cyclic Echelons (Manifesting the Ascent and Effacement of the Abyss)” flies into a flurry of tremolo riffs and creepy, ghoulish growls. This roughly 18-minute track is loaded with plenty of eerie interludes, but the whole thing remains a cohesive journey through an endless mausoleum. If you like your BM raw and wriggling, check this out. FFO: Nortt, Chemical Cascades, Hyperborean Skies. (W.)

Andsolis – Vigil (Quality Steel Records) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “Kingdoms Without Shape”

Angelus Apatrida – Hidden Evolution (Century Media) [Thrash]

Biotoxic Warfare – Lobotomized (Slaney Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “Lobotomized”

Breathless – Return to Pangea (Xtreem Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “Killing-sophy”

Calcined – Tormenting Attractions (Independent) [Brutal Death Metal]
Listen to “Led by Voices”

Cloakroom – Further Out (Run For Cover) [Stoner/Doom]

Crowned in Earth – Metempsychosis (Sonic Mermaid) [Prog Rock]

Diablo Boulevard – Follow the Deadlights (Nuclear Blast) [Butt Rock]
Listen to “Follow the Deadlights”

Dream of the Damned/Slow and Painful Mental Wounds – Endless Nightmares of a Vicious Circle (Floppy Noise) [DSBM]
Listen to “Loneliness is Everywhere” (SaPMW)

Hellish Outcast – Stay of Execution (US release- Listenable Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Torment”

Hideous Rebirth – Completely Devoured (Gore House) [Slamming Brutal Death]
Listen to “Wretched Torture”

Illuminata – Where Stories Unfold (Independent) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “Phoenix”

Khaelys – Across the Ages (Independent) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “Destiny”

Manic Depression – Technocracy (Meat Sound) [Thrash]

Marduk – Frontschwein (Century Media) [Black Metal]

Ostrogoth – Last Tribe Standing (Empire Music) [Heavy Metal]

Raised Fist – From the North (Epitaph Records) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Flow”

Salems Lott – Salems Lott (Independent) [Shock Rock]
Listen to “No Choice to Love”

Satan’s Host – Pre-Dating God pt. 1 & 2 (Moribund Records) [Blackened Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “After the End” (pt. 1), “Soul Wrent” (pt. 2)

Scanner – The Judgement (Massacre Records) [Speed Metal]
Listen to “F.T.B.”

Serious Black – As Daylight Breaks (AFM Records) [Power Metal]
Listen “I Seek No Other Life”

Starbynary – Dark Passenger (Bakerteam Records) [Power Metal]

Stargazery – Stars Aligned (Pure Legend Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Dim the Halo”

Stormwitch – Season of the Witch (Massacre Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Last Warrior”

Trial – Vessel (High Roller Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “To New Ends”

U.D.O. – Decadent (AFM Records) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Decadent”

Uhriristi – Haudankylmä (Mortis Humanae) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Kaivo”

Vardan – Verses from Ancient Times (Moribund Cult) [Black Metal]

The Wanderer… – Mysterium (Witches Sabbath Records) [Black Metal]

Winds of Genocide – Usurping the Throne of Disease (Pulverized) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Usurping the Throne of Disease”

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    New year of tunes, and I’m still 10 years behind. Fuck it.

    • Time to catch up, new Scanner AND Satan’s Host

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Never going to happen, and I don’t even care.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    god damn toilet ov blvkk fvkking metuhl

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

    UDO is not lolbuttz. The new Marilyn Manson and Fall Out Boy albums are lolbuttz.

    • I heard the new UDO is great

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

        It is. I like his music so I’m excited to buy it.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          Janitor Jim you should know I’m going to pick up You, Whom I Have Always Hated at whatever ridiculous price the digital album is and despite the fact that I already own the first four tracks.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            I wish they’d hurry up and send my fucking vinyl already

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            W. got his, he showed us and said the album was “good”.

            January 27th feels like it’s so far away, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I can’t wait.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            Well where is my fuckin album

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Did you preorder it?

          • BLVKKBEVRD


          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I think his showed up on Saturday. Might be worth a firm email haha.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            Pre-ordered on fucking Dec 9

          • DDubya.

            I just ordered the CD. It’s good.

          • BLVKKBEVRD

            Only good?

          • DDubya.

            It’s quite good. I’m working on a review, so I don’t want to reveal my hand just yet.

          • Through Blake Judd?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            That would explain the package’s absence, lol

          • It might be in one of the many dumpsters he’s living in next to Wrigley Field.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Or possibly some rehab center.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan Svre Wovld

            I knew that.

    • KJM

      It’s not lolbuttz in a fun way, I’ll give you that.

    • Upon further review, the ruling on the field stands: U.D.O. is lolbuttz. 10 yard penalty, no replay of down.

    • Spear

      It’s lolbuttz as fuck.


  • oh wah i don’t like singing because i’m a pathetic little wimpy poser SHUT UP AND SATAN’S HOST

    • Howard Dean

      Pretty much the only thing released today that I care about.


    Interested in The Slow Death. I’ll give it a spin when I get home.

    All this blvkk is great, but it’s not my type

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      I see you have something happening today. Work might be cray but I’m gonna read that shit.


        It is quite the long one, just fyi

    • DDubya.

      Tis pretty good.

  • Tyree

    Randall THor you got me jamming this bitch this morning.

  • Guacamole Jim

    The lolbuttz ones never disappoint. I mean, they always disappoint, but that’s what I want.

    Also, Australia’s music scene is ridiculous right now. I fucking love it.


      Dude looks like a less badass undead Jinpachi

  • Maik Beninton

    I can’t listen to Lamentations of the Ashen

    It says they can’t find the track

    • Spear

      Okay, digging for a new link

      Edit: this would be much easier if these cvnts actually updated their bandcamp

  • Hubert, Goat ov/of D00M

    The year has only just begun and we already have a contender for worst lyric video of the Year. THAT FONT

    • not to mention the offense of thinking they can stick one letter on the end of another, greater band’s efforts to latch onto their coattails

  • #LinkPickofToiletTuesday #Shoegaze #Alternative enjoyable for ‘those’ moments

  • Howard Dean

    Non Sequitur ov the Day:

  • Spear

    Alright, since Lamentations of the Ashen decided to be a bunch of assclowns and take down the song they had posted before, here’s a different track from that album:

  • #LinkBonusTrackOfToiletTuesday #PowerMetal #CatchyMetal

  • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

    As one of the people here who like it slow, I would say this is a good week. I mean I wasn’t called Bear the Slow ’cause of the run if my wit. ( In all honesty I enjoyed all of these)

  • kapsberger

    According to the PR material, the Lamentations of the Ashen digital release has been pushed back to Feb. 10, and for the tr00 kvlt, the cassette release will be sometime in March. Production delays make me cry frosty, blackened tears.

    • DDubya.

      Dang ol dang, man.

  • KJM

    Mastodon/Clutch are touring soon.

    • JamesGrimm

      yay, Clutch!

    • FeelTheDarkness

      I saw that. Already making plans for the Raleigh date

    • old_man_doom

      And Graveyard!

  • JamesGrimm
  • Rob M
  • Rob M no mention of Winds of Genocide in the comments section..

    ..poser fail

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Fair to say January 2015 pretty much sucked for new releases?

    • New Angra CD, and their best one in almost 10 years. So, there’s that….

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Thanx mang will check these out..

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Angra, Shattered Skies, Napalm Death and Sylosis were 4 hits for mine

      • Shattered Skies is pretty fucking sweet!

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Thanks Im behind on my ToVh reading….will check these out man.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          Read KimJong’s comment. You can find it onBandcamp.

  • old_man_doom

    I listened through the entire new Hellish Outcast album yesterday. While it didn’t grab me by the balls like I was hoping, it does have some great, stand-out tracks. That “Heresiarch” song is fucking fantastic.

  • I’m really digging The Slow Death and Lamentations of the Ashen.
    EDIT: Totally didn’t realize that I owned The Slow Death’s first two albums.

  • OldMetalHead

    If Udo Dirkschneider had of been smart, he would have rejoined Accept when they invited him (before Blood of Nations). Then he’d be making money instead of putting out self-indulgent shit no one wants to listen to.

    • Nah, the new vocalist blows his own style out of the water.

      • OldMetalHead

        No argument about the new singer. He’s obviously better. I’m just saying Udo was given the opportunity to be a part of their resurgent success and refused.