This Toilet Tuesday (1/12/16)


You lie awake in your bed, sweating bullets. Sleep won’t come; the restlessness in your bowels won’t let it. You desperately need to shit, but you dare not. You fear it. Three days ago, you relentlessly taunted a friend of a friend, a self-proclaimed witch, for her belief in the supernatural. She promised to curse you, to bring your inner self to light. You laughed it off at the time, but the next time you had a bowel movement, it violently crawled its way back in. You now know what she meant: living shit. Even now you can feel it squirming in your lower intestine, daring you to try to expel it. Realizing the futility of such a gesture, you have tried to starve it, but in doing so, are starving yourself.

And so you continue to lay there in your despondency, allowing this filth to permeate your being. You don’t move for days; soon, you couldn’t even if you wanted to. You have no energy. You consider calling this witch to apologize, but your pride won’t let you. By the tenth day, you have accepted your fate. You wither away and rot from the inside out as ulcers form in your digestive tract and your blood becomes septic. You die, poisoned by your demons.

You aren’t missed.

Welcome to This Toilet Tuesday.


Morar – Wahlheim (Nebular Winter Productions) [Black Metal]

Howling from the heart of winter, Morar beckon you to a frosty oblivion with 7 cuts of choice atmospheric black metal. The songs range from glacial-paced elegies to the frozen north to ripping tracks that blow and thrash with the fury of an unrelenting blizzard, but all of the songs are cold in both tone and instrumentation. Even the little moments of heat, like borealic synth lines or acoustic pluckings, are just fairy fires leading you further astray into snow-blindness. Too late; frozen. FFO: Windir, Satyricon, Summoning 1/15/16 (W.)


Lycus – Chasms (Relapse Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Solar Chamber,” “Obsidian Eyes”

Every so often over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself drifting back to the two preview tracks on offer from Lycus. Although the band deals in suffocating doom metal, there are enough interesting textural elements and lush details buried deep in these two long tracks to encourage repeated listens. If patience is a virtue, Lycus are surely a reward. FFO: Giant Squid, Ahab, Asunder 1/15/16 (W.)

the lumberjack feedback

The Lumberjack Feedback – Blackened Visions (Kaotoxin Records) [Instrumental Sludge/Doom/Post/Whatever]
Listen to “Blackened Visions”

I’ve heard tell that some of you are partial to sick riffs. If you happen to be one of those people, then this is for you. The Lumberjack Feedback have a sound that instantly reminded me of Tempel; atmospheric, cinematic, and wholly devoid of the wankery that plagues so many other instrumental acts. Fans of middle-years Mastodon and post/sludge in general should find a lot to love here. 1/15/16 (Spear)

Acerus – The Clock of Mortality (Luxinframundis Productions) [Heavy Metal]

Augrimmer – Moth and the Moon (Northern Silence) [Atmospheric Black Metal]
Listen to “The Lament of Gods”

Axel Rudi Pell – Game of Sins (SPV) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “The King of Fools”

Backstabber – Revenge (Independent) [Death Metal]

Black Vice – Rituals of the Anti​-​Cosmic Doctrine (Red River Family Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ritual VII”

Bloodiest – Bloodiest (Relapse Records) [Sludge]
Listen to “Mesmerize”

Brainstorm – Scary Creatures (AFM Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “The World To See”

Caveman – Hämbyrgür (Independent) [Gorakcore]

Cendra – Metal Punk (Xtreem Music) [Punk/Black Metal]

Chaos Synopsis/Terrordome – Intoxicunts (split- Defense Records) [Death Thrash/Crossover Thrash]
Listen to “Serpent of the Nile” (CS)

Dimitry – The Art of Complications (Independent) [Instrumental Prog]

Dissona – Paleopneumatic (Independent) [Progressive Metal]
Listen to “Odium”

Dystopia – New Beginning (Independent) [Melodeath]

Fifth to Infinity – Omnipotent Transdimensional Soulfire (Avantgarde Music) [Black Metal]

Funeral Ghoul – Under The Forest (Independent) [Black Metal]

Girlzeroth – Kingdom Warrior (PlatD Development) [Death Metal]

Gort – Pestiferous Worms Miasma (Lupus Niger Productions) [Black Metal]

Grave Cross – Nothing But The Night (Stormspell Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Nothing But The Night”

Hellcrust – Kalamaut (Armstretch Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Bingkai Bingkai”

Hordak – Padre (Casus Belli Musica) [Folk/Black Metal]

Hostium – The Bloodwine of Satan (Iron Bonehead Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Bloodwine Chalice”

Humanitas Error Est – Human Pathomorphism (Satanath/Black Plague Records) [Black Metal]

Imperfect Souls – Necro Bestial (Indpendent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Necro Bestial”

Just Before Dawn – The Dead And Those About To Die! (Chaos Records) [Death Metal]

Lucifugus – Aphel (Narbentage Produktionen) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Return to the 7th Throne”

Lunarsapian – A Slow, Painful Life (Blackened Death Records) [Drone/Doom]

Memorain – Duality of Man (Rock of Angels Records) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Last of Light”

Mothership – Live over Freak Valley (live album- Ripple Music) [Doom]
Listen to “Serpents Throne”

Natanas – Eram Numquam Amicum Vestrum (Cvlminis) [Doom/Black Metal]
Let us revel in the majesty of this cover art

Nocturne – Nocturne (Unlight Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Into the Great Below”

Norhod – Voices From The Ocean (Wormholedeath Records) [Symphonic Metal]
Listen to “Bleeding Path”

Old Forest – Dagian (Avantgarde Music) [Black Metal]

Pensées Nocturnes – À boire et à manger (Independent) [Avant-garde Blackish Metal]

Plutonium – Born Again Misanthrope (Independent) [Industrial Black Metal]
Listen to “Born Again Misanthrope”

Pox Vobiscum – In Nomine Party .​.​. (Independent) [Thrash]

Raw – Battalion of Demons (MDD Records) [Death Thrash]

Reapers Riddle – The End Is Nigh (Independent) [Rock/Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Welcome to the Wasteland”

Rhapsody of Fire – Into the Legend (AFM Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Into the Legend”

Rot Remains – Evisceration of the Mind (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Obscure Flag”

Sacrocurse – Destroying Chapels (Iron Bonehead Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Total Devastation”

Sardonic Wrath – Into the Infernal (Independent) [Black Metal]

Scream Maker – Back Against the World (Independent) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Far Away”

Sepultus Est – En el marmoreo laberinto donde sueñan los muertos (GS Productions) [Funeral Doom]

Shadow Moon/Behalf Fiend/Aeternus Odium/Profanus Infernalis – União Satânica- 1º Ato (United Spreading the Ancient Evil Kult Prod) [Black Metal]

Shadow Of Intent – Primordial (Independent) [Tech Death]

Silent Kingdom/Atra Hora – Час Безмолвия (Darknagar Records) [Black Metal]

Sol – The Storm Bells Chime (Avantgarde Music) [Atmospheric Doom/Black Metal]

Spinebreaker – Ice Grave (Creator-Destructor Records) [Death Metal/Hardcore]
Listen to “River of Pain”

Suppressive Fire – Bedlam (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Hellwraith”

Tagarot – Veleda’s Prophecy (Independent) [Folk Metal]

Third Sovereign – Perversion Swallowing Sanity (Transcending Obscurity) [Death Metal]

Ulfrinn/Vore – Ulfrinn/Vore (split- Independent) [Black Metal]

Varg – Das Ende aller Lügen (Napalm Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Das Ende Aller Lügen”

Virvel av Morkerhatet – Metamorphopsia (Avantgarde Music) [Black Metal]

War Atrocities/Whipstriker – Struck by Warwhip (split- Witches Brew) [Black Thrash]

Witchcraft – Nucleus (Nuclear Blast Records) [Rock]
Listen to “The Outcast”

Witte Wieven – Silhouettes of an Imprisoned Mind (Independent) [Black Metal]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA)

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    I think I like Luca’s version of Rhapsody of Fire better

    • Did you liked last Luca Turilli’s Rhapsody album? I am a little bit more enthusiast on Into the Legend than on Prometheus thingy.

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        Same. Prometheus lost me after a few songs. He needs to cut down on the slow ballads, big time.


    Heard good things about Lycus, will check it out


    that Varg video is ripe for a video breakdown

    • I have 2 minutes listening a guy screaming at me in German. Where is the merol?!

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      I gotta wonder how many people have bought their CDs thinking it was THAT Varg. You know, the stabby neo-nazi lumberjack one.

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      I’ve only heard a little bit of their stuff, but don’t they do a bunch of songs about She Ra? They should team up with these guys for a tour:

      • tigeraid


    • JWEG

      Horde Prime was probably taken…

  • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross


  • Stanley

    Ah, looks like the Witchcraft record is out. That Outcast song is great. Looking forward to hearing the rest of the album.

  • Slow week in new releases, for me. I will check Morar when I have the chance and press play once again in new Rhapsody of Fire song to continue my Eucharist listen. Thanks for the compiling in the column, guys 🙂

    • Dubs

      Is he a pirate or a leprechaun?


        Certainly no pirate on my ship would be allowed to board with such a bad case of scurvy

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        Or Eddie The Ed, Jr.

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      Loves me some Brainstorm! I thought they broke up years ago, though.

  • New Sacrocurse FTW.

    • Dubs

      I sent Bearikson the promo, so some sort of review should be coming. Lots of good stuff dropping down the Iron Bonehead pipe.

      • I’m always curious to check out what Iron Bonehead puts out. Been a lot of misses recently for me though. They always overcome though.

  • Damn, this is the 17th Whipstriker split release.

  • Stanley

    I was digging that Morar until the vocals kicked in on the ‘Tis Night. Sounds like modern day Watain.

    • Dubs

      Hmm. Vocals didn’t bother me much. The tracks are all pretty varied

      • Stanley

        Definitely varied. There are only 3 songs available for streaming on the bandcamp link and I liked the first two. Go listen to that third one again.

        • Dubs

          Ah yeah, those cleans on this track are kinda whack. I don’t mind the music.

  • The HM-2 pedals are strong on Spinebreaker.




  • BobLoblaw


  • my haul: (“no poser” status for 24 hours, bitches!)


      Theres only one album, poser

    • Stanley

      Good fuckin’ man!

    • Stanley

      Go straight to 3:58 in track 9. Riff of the album, which is saying an awful lot.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Fin, I presume?

      • affirm. i was instantly sold after hearing that first riff that someone linked a while back…

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Yup, good shit. I still need to get a release. The list is infinite.

    • What is this? (poser status confirmed)

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt

      Poser status achieved: I wasn’t too impressed with FIN live. I skipped most of their set to see Anicon instead.

  • Stanley

    Ha ha. That Nocturne video is buttz full of lolz.

  • That Shadow Moon/Behalf Fiend/Aeternus Odium/Profanus Infernalis split looks intresting. All the bands are from Brazil.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    So DMX is coming to The Chance. Tickets are 37.50. Even Ted Nugent only charged 35. I might go but the price is insane.





          ARF ARF

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        DMX is great. I’m probably going to go.

    • more beer

      Because all the hardest mother fuckers come from Yonkers!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        It’s already on its way to selling out.


        Hes like 5’4″

        • more beer

          It’s actually a line on Get Rich or Die Tryin.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            This is the greatest website I’ve seen today.

          • more beer

            That is too funny.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            TMZ even has a trading card thing regarding his arrests. At this point, they’re like “ok, it’s that time of year again. DMX got arrested for stupid shit again”.

      • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

        Well, Tommy Dreamer’s from Yonkers, and he’s pretty hardcore.

        • more beer

          Fake! Like all wrestlers.

          • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

            Even Japanese hardcore wrestlers? Wouldn’t exactly call New Jack fake, especially after seeing that stabbing video.

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      Might wanna go see him before he gets locked up again! He tends to get arrested every 4-6 months for this, that and the other, and from what I can tell, he’s almost bankrupt.

  • Stanley

    Cendra warrants further investigation. Black/Thrashy/Punky. Yes, please.

  • Also, if you missed it…

    New Sielunvihollinen Album in 2016 + New Song

    • Waynecro


  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    The last Lycus album got raving reviews, but I figured it was darn boring.
    I don’t get why Pitchfork and the likes always get worked up by the worst on offer.

    Hoping this’ll be better.

    • Dubs

      Not sure if I heard the last one, but I dig these two tracks.

    • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

      Super funeral-doomy

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        I like funeral doom, usually.

        • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

          Just from listening to clips, the albums seem familiar.

  • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

    Lucifugus is hilariously bad even by kvlt standards! For just pennies a day, you can help this band get production that doesn’t sound like it was recorded on a mini-cassette recorder inside an oil drum being thrown around a janitor’s closet.

    And new Rhapsody Of Fire (lolfuckingbuttz), Dragon Guardian (woohoo!), Tribulation, and Brainstorm come out this week.

  • Waynecro

    My brother once dated a self-proclaimed witch and got on her bad side. She didn’t curse him, but she left a big purple dildo on his front lawn and told the authorities he was threatening her life (using Slayer lyrics he quoted in an email to her as evidence).

    • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

      Mom, is that you?!

      • Waynecro

        I certainly hope your mom isn’t in the habit of throwing massive purple dildos around, which is not only crude but also wasteful. After all, there are horny people in developing countries who can’t afford massive purple dildos of their own.

        • XXXX Atomic Tongue Hair

          Exactly! National Geographic or The Gates Foundation should start up a dildo foundation for the saggy boobed tribal women that National Geographic loves so much.

          • Waynecro

            Now there’s a charity we can all appreciate.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    Stoked for the new album by Lycus but in the meantime this song could blow your mind

    • CT-12

      Wow, this is fucking awesome, thanks for the share!

      • 365ChaosRiddenDays

        You’re welcome, their debut album “SeroLogiikal Scars – Vertex of Dementiia” wll be released this February the 5th

  • tigeraid

    Brainstorm, woah! Didn’t even know they were still around. That brings me back to high school power metal times. Good stuff.

  • Eliza

    That opening though. I could barely stop myself from laughing.

  • …Ellipsis…

    Checked out The Lumberjack Feedback based on Spear’s description and was not disappointed…