This Might Be The Creepiest Craigslist Post Of The Year

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Ladies…

If 2017 has taught us anything, it’s that the world is jam-packed with predatory men. So many brave victims have come forward this year and outed high-profile abusers. It’s been a long time coming and people are finally listening. But it’s not every day that a man does the work of exposing himself as a giant scumbag in a public forum. Today is one of those days.

Lars Gotrich of NPR fame posted on his Twitter account about an incredibly creepy Craigslist post of a man looking to start an all-female band, specifically consisting of women aged 18-21. Unfortunately, the post was taken down, but have no fear (or anything in your stomach) because here are the receipts:

 

 

 

Is it possible to have the piss shivers and the douche chills at the same time? There’s absolutely nothing about this that can’t be considered creepy. You just know he strongly considered typing 17 instead of 18. I’ll bet his has the age of consent laws from several states memorized with back-up print outs in the glove compartment of his windowless van. “Aren’t afraid [sic] older rocker dudes telling them what to do.” I’m surprised he didn’t follow that up with “No one will believe you, anyway.” Think that’s as bad as it gets? TovH reader Tyler M. discovered this guy made a separate post:

Look at that pro equipment! He’s going straight to the top and he’s ready to take you young ladies with him! Just don’t tell your parents or the local authorities!

Those pristine guitars and amps really draw your attention away from the gross carpet, messy bookshelf, bottle collection, and a sad pair of shoes. Want to get even sadder? Let’s look at the third picture on this post:

What. The. Fuck. This just keeps getting worse and worse, like Nicholas Cage’s career. I really, really, really don’t want to know what happened, why this picture was taken, and why someone thought it was a good idea to post it. I guess a whole lot of questions could be asked about this entire situation.

Through his friends, Gotrich also posted what is allegedly this guy’s music. It sure does look like him in some of the accompanying pictures. Listen at your own risk. Be sure to wash your eyes, ears, and the rest of your body thoroughly afterwards. A TovH writer summed up this whole thing best with a little edit to one of the posts:

So what’s the lesson in all of this? There are lots of creeps out there. Some of them have instruments. Some of them stupid enough to create transparently predatory Craigslist ads for young women. Be smart, be aware, speak up, and shame these fucks into going away forever.

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  • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

    I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD BE FROWNED UPON TO PRETEND TO BE A 19 YEAR OLD GIRL AND THEN SHOW UP TO HIS HOUSE WITH A FLAMETHROWER FULL OF ANGRY BEES

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

      @captaingrapefruit:disqus & GORAK IZ 18 – 21 GERLZ!!!!!!!!!! LET US IN BAND OR SMAAAAAAAAAAASSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

        OUR BAND WOULD BE CALLED ‘GRUMPY GORAK AND THE CAPSLOCKS’

    • JWG

      If you were stuck in a flamethrower you’d be angry too.

      …I’d imagine.

  • I feel like this would be a good time to coal-roll.

    Anyone interested in helping?

    • ANNNND found the link

      • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

        HOW DO WE ROLL A COAL EXACTLY IS LIKE WHAT DUNG BEETLES DO EXCEPT BIGGER

        • Yeah, kinda. Take a group of ppl, troll the shit outta someone. It is really just trolling.

          • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

            RUMOR IS THAT ROY MOORE IS CONSIDERING APPLYING FOR THE BAND

  • Dude’s soul is as broken in as the heel of that right-foot shoe. Seriously, he has dead eyes. Like a doll’s eyes…

    I’m really skeeved out tbh. Is that foot even attached to a body??? *vomiting profusely*

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      ON A SEPARATE NOTE WHY DOES ANYONE EVER SAY ‘HEY JOIN MY BAND I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO PLAY ALL THE INSTRUMENTS’ LIKE DUDE YOU DON’T HAVE A BAND YOU’RE JUST AN IDIOT WITH A SHITTY IDEA AND NO FRIENDS

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    Well, this is basically how the Runaways started

  • HessianHunter

    My friend emailed this guy to tell him he’s cute – he responded with something like “haha, I like you” then she called him a “cucky foot boy”. He never responded to that email. :'(

  • One step closer to making men terrified of initiating any contact with the opposite gender. Looks like the US is on track to select itself out of the human race in a single generation !

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      IT’S TRUE THAT STRANGELY NEEDY CRAIGSLIST ADS AND A LITTLE ACTION BEHIND A DUMPSTER WERE THE ONLY THINGS KEEPING THE HUMAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        Comments like this make me think its bullshit that I can only upvote once

      • Since when did a clumsy approach to meeting women turn one into a sexual predator ?

        • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

          WAIT SO HE’S NOT FORMING A BAND GODDAMNIT I ALREADY STARTED SELLING PRE-SALE TICKETS FOR HIS DEBUT AS ‘CUCKFOOT AND THE SEXUAL CLUMSY’

    • Tom Warriors Beanie

      We can hope.