The Worst Metal Song of All Time: Round of 32 (Part 1)

It has been a little while since we got together as a community and decided the winner of an epic contest. Take a break from all the good music we recommend and vote on some steaming piles of metal.

We took some of your suggestions and distilled them down to the worst of the worst (excluding most of the boring nu metal that we’re just better off forgetting about entirely). The bracket was seeded randomly so there will surely be interesting matchups along the way. So how is one to choose between two very different but equally terrible choices? That’s where the fun lies. Let us know how you decided!

In case it wasn’t clear, vote for the song you think is WORSE.

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

Which Song Is Worse?

The second half of the bracket will be revealed next time.

Worst-Song-1a

Click To Embiggen

  • Lacertilian

    Hmmmm…some difficult choices to make already!
    Obituary feigning Madball or Danzig making Rob Zombie sound appealing?
    Texas Label Society or Slither?
    Rough.

  • Rain Poncho W.

    Some good matchups already!

  • GoatForest

    I must be the only person who likes LOG’s “Redneck”.

    • Old Man Doom

      Nope, was a very formative song for me in high school.

    • Dr. K

      I, among many others, like it. It’s not their best song, but it’s a catchy little Pantera pastiche.

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        *can’t tell if I need to defend Pantera or not*

        • Dr. K

          Well, I said I liked a song that was an imitation of their sound. I think you can safely assume that I consider the sound of Pantera to be a good one.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Phew

        • Óðinn

          A pastiche is not as reverential as an homage, but is not satire either. Usually, it’s an imitation without malicious intent.

    • Crocodylus★Pontifex

      I think they have worse songs now.

      • GoatForest

        Yeah, the last album was as bland as rice cakes, with three or four exceptions.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Redneck is terrible imo; As the Palaces Burn all the fucking way!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7SRycoSgLk

      • GoatForest

        That is a killer album.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          As the Palaces Burn and Ashes of the Wake are both killer. It was all downhill from there on imo.

      • Crocodylus★Pontifex

        I don’t really enjoy them anymore, but Ashes was the jam back in freshman year of high school. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OArALRZAnE

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          I can still appreciate Ashes. This is as good as NWOAHM was ever going to be.

          • Crocodylus★Pontifex

            The end breakdown around 3:50 is the reason I bought my first Meshuggah album, so there’s that.

          • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

            CHIMAIRA HAS SOME GOOD STUFF!!!!!! IMPOSSIBILITY OF REASON ESPECIALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Maik Beninton™

      I like it too.

    • Shakes 999

      I hate that god damn song. It’d a ugly, souless, dull blemish on a otherwise stellar album. And it’s makes me rip my hair out in frustration that they end their shows with it.

      On the positive side, I can at least beat the parking lot traffic

    • OPEN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ PIT IN THIS MOTHERFUCKIN’ SHOW, MNNN’KAY!

    • tigeraid

      Nope, I like it. Doesn’t really belong in the list.

    • Óðinn

      I have nothing against that song personally.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      DIS IS A MOTHAFAWKIN INVATASHAWN

      Pass.

    • Carlos Parlo

      I had little opinion of it one way or the other till I heard them play it live and the pit went nuts. I thought it worked really well in the concert context and enjoy it on the album now too. My exact thoughts on “Toxic Waltz” as well.

    • yes

    • Rick Chard

      Like other songs on here, the lyrics kill it.

      • GoatForest

        They are a bit macho, but they do match an angry redneck pretty well.

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Why the hell is Toxic Waltz on this list?!

    • Rain Poncho W.

      Here’s a new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation
      It’s called the toxic waltz and it’s causing devastation
      You’re jumping up and down like a psycho circus clown
      Slamming with waltzers all the way around

      • Señor Jefe El Rosa

        Exactly. Why is it on the list?!

        • Rain Poncho W.

          This contest is gonna be rill hard for you, isn’t it?

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            There is a strong chance that it will. Depends on the 2nd half.

          • Crocodylus★Pontifex

            I have decreed that “slam the waltzers” is the new “slay the posers”.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            You have no such authority.

          • Crocodylus★Pontifex

            I do. Or else I vote against Toxic Waltz.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Your vote matters not.

          • Crocodylus★Pontifex

            That’s what people said around election time, now look. #SlamtheWaltzer

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Popular vote didn’t win the election, therefore my statement stands.

          • Crocodylus★Pontifex

            #NotMyWorstMetalSongOfAllTime

          • Rain Poncho W.

            Sounds like waltzer talk to me.

          • Crocodylus★Pontifex
          • If it’s any consolation, the Issues song is worse than terrible, should change their name to Tissues. Singer sounds like he could use a good cry.

          • You may get angry for the first time in your life. We’ll be here to halp you through it.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Thanks buddy

          • Óðinn
    • GoatForest

      Seconded.

    • Dr. K

      Yeah, I don’t agree with a couple others, but this is the most glaringly out-of-place one. Its goofiness is part of what makes it a classic.

    • Eliza

      I do have a soft spot for the song, but it’s really goofy and not in a self aware way.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      I asked myself the exact same thing. That song rules

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      I was never too big on Toxic Waltz, but it’s nowhere near deserving of ending up in a “worst metal song competition”.
      That being said, the only Waltz I need in the metal genre is a Psychotic Waltz!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpTzekgH9UM

      • Eliza

        Steel Panther overshadows it anyway, so I don’t think it will go too far.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          To be fair, there’s little Steel Panther won’t overshadow in a suck-competition.

      • Dumpster Lung

        Always loved these guys. Turns out a friend I met through my last job actually grew up with these dudes and their bands used to play together and stuff. Crazy.

    • I liked it as a teenager discovering thrash, but in 2017, it is clearly laughable.

    • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

      & STRAPPING YOUNG LAD!!!!!!!!
      THAT MAKE GORAK SAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!
      OH!!!!! MY!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!! ING!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!

      • That is a bad song. When it was released, Devin mentioned something about trying to sound like Mötley Crëw.
        So it was partly intentional. 🤺

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        DEVY GOT A TASTE OF SOME BLACK SHIT
        BORN IN ANOTHER WAY
        AND IT PROBABLY WOULD’VE BEEN EASY
        BUT IT NEVER WORKED OUT THAT WAAAaaaaaaaYYYYyyyy

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aOy7bEkbCU

        • Howdy, welcome to A&W, my name’s Devin. Can I take your stinkin’ order?

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            First SYL album is underrated imo. Devin should quit with the mediocre “solo” stuff of late and needs to get pissed off again. At their best of times, SYL sounded like a bunch of lunatics.

          • Waynecro

            Seriously. This remains one of the most desperate, at-the-end-of-my-fucking-rope songs I’ve ever heard.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeP4KRoHsqk

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Such a great album.

          • Waynecro, i really like you.

          • Waynecro
          • Depechemodeisgangsta

            But i think now he is more Popular as a solo artist than with SYL, specially in Europe from what i have read.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah, he was way less popular back when he made his most superb work; City, Alien, Ocean Machine and Terria.

          • Depechemodeisgangsta

            I like the Self title SYL, and Alien, and i’m probably on the minority but i enjoyed The New Black.
            I don’t mind when artists, decided to go on a different route, on most case write more “Popular” music, specially after being on the industry for almost 20 years, and they can’t even make a living.
            Probably now with his solo stuff, he can make more $ and live from that.

          • Dumpster Lung

            I like all the SYL. The New Black won’t ever by my favorite, but I definitely enjoy it. Sometimes I get disappointed with a direction a band takes, but it’s rare I ever feel the urge to write it off as “selling out.”

            I think usually the inspiration just comes from a different place as the artist’s lives change, and sometimes it’s better for the artist, but not as exciting for the audience 😛

            I do like what Devin’s doing now too, though.

          • Depechemodeisgangsta

            Agree, while probably die hard fans don’t like the direction, when one of their favorites artist goes “Soft” but i understand that at some point you want to try something, more challenging in their career or a different path.

          • Dumpster Lung

            Yeah, or even if it’s not a conscious choice, their inspiration might come from a different place now than it used to. I think especially the angrier and more insane the music, if it’s coming from a dark place or a lot of issues the artist is dealing with through their writing, then as life goes on and those things (hopefully) get sorted out, their writing might be less extreme as a result, but for a good reason.

          • Heavy as a Really Heavy Thing? Eeeeehhhhhhhhh…

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yep, not as bad as some make it out to be.

          • I don’t really think it’s very good either, and I say that as someone who’s been a fan of the guy since high school.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Yeah no problem, I mean it definitely isn’t as good as City or Alien, but for some reason I’m more inclined to jam a few songs of Heavy as a Really Heavy thing than anything of S/T or The New Black.

          • Jack Rabbit

            I think what draws me to Heavy as a Rally Heavy Thing is more the psychotic vibe it builds rather than the actually songwriting

          • krisdaschwab912

            Mediocre? Dude, I love most of whatever Devin does and Z2 was mediocre, but not Transcendence.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Sorry man, even Transcendence felt like a pile of meh to me.

    • Carlos Parlo

      I thought the same thing. Yeah the lyrics are silly as hell but it plays really well live. TBH “Redneck” works really well live too though it also has bad lyrics.

    • The Tetrachord of Archytas

      I get it. This list could easily be filled with Hellyeah type bands and Issues type bands, but that could land this community in hot water as a whole for being intolerant towards rednecks and millenials

    • BattleBornNDN

      I thought the same thing.

    • Howard Dean

      Agreed. That’s a legitimately good thrash song. Silly, sure. But not bad. It’s head and shoulders above the rest of this garbage.

    • To ensure that Issues moves forward, and for plausibly only that reason.

    • Dumpster Lung

      If it was a bracket of worst Exodus songs then maybe, but their worst song (and I’m not even a huge Exodus guy to be honest) destroys most of the other stuff on the list 😛

    • Hail and Kill

      no clue, great song

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    There are zero reasons for Riot’s ‘Buried Alive’ to end up in a contest like this.
    Oh well, I guess that makes the battle easy because Redneck

    https://15172-presscdn-0-0-pagely.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Sucks.jpg

  • Old Man Doom

    I was watching an online class for vocal mixing and the producer was using that Issues song as his mix example. I fucking swear I heard that chorus about a hundred times solo’d out while he was mixing it. Fucked me up.

    • Eliza

      I feel sorry for you. I could not get past the first minute

      • YOU LISTENED FOR A MINUTE?!

        • Eliza

          I try to challenge myself.

    • Óðinn

      Shit dude. Well, I’m glad you’re okay.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    I voted for Trivium just to trigger JAG.

    • Óðinn

      Is Matt Heafy a Trump voter?

      • Trve Metal Tryhard

        If I were to guess I’d say I doubt it based on his songwriting and general opinions. But he doesn’t discuss politics much because he’s not a divisive dickhead or a political bully. Like many civilized people he may believe that who he votes for is his business. …but like I said: I’m just guessing based on a handful of conversations and not much else.

  • Black Smallbeard

    I DO NOT like having to vote against Danzig or Obituary

    • Eliza

      But you have to admit that Obituary song is pure cringe.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          That’s what make these missteps hit harder. We all know the bands can write timeless classics.

        • Howard Dean

          Danzig I – III are fucking pure magic. I can’t wait until it’s July so I can walk around in the dark lip synching “Dirty Black Summer.”

          • Rain Poncho W.

            I actually liked Deth Red Sabaoth too

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Dubbz>>>>

          • Howard Dean

            There are bright spots on most of his albums (the industrial one he tried to do was pretty shitty). I usually put those first three above the others, though 4 is pretty good, too.

          • Waynecro

            Exactly! I also like Danzig 4 (and even a song or two from Danzig 5: Blackacidevil).

          • Óðinn

            I like Black Sabbath. I know that’s a controversial position, but I just had to let everybody know. 😉

          • Waynecro

            YES!!!

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            First three Danzig albums rule so hard.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO-Jr855fss

          • Óðinn

            This is true.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I actually think How the Gods Kill is a downright evil album. On that album he comes across as the devil who appears in the form of Jim Morrison the lure your girlfriend, wife or sister into the deepest pits of hell.

          • Howard Dean

            “Keep you warm like a funeral pyre.”

          • RJA

            Hell yes – possibly my favorite Danzig song – maybe “Her Black Wings” right there with it.

      • Rick Chard

        Get rid of the god-awful rapping parts and it’s a good song.

        • Eliza

          It would be OK, but the reality is that the rapping is there and it’s very, very bad.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      I can’t vote against Danzig.

      • Crocodylus★Pontifex

        Here I am MUTHERFUCKUUUHHH. I’m cleanin’ up my bricks BEEYATCH

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    I refused to vote for anything off Siren Charms so I voted for Strapping Young Lad.

    • Crocodylus★Pontifex

      You voted wrong.

      • Sid Vicious Promos

        NOPE

        • Sir Ukkometso The Based

          Ya did

  • Sir Ukkometso The Based

    Steel Panther is worst everything.

    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      ^this

    • Maik Beninton™

      Whoever you pick automatically wins.

    • tigeraid

      The rest of these choices are difficult, but that votes for itself.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      Agree

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      They sure are fun live after a few $11 tallboys from the venue bar

  • Maik Beninton™

    What is Aevum never heard of it.

    • Joaquin Stick

      It might be my favorite pick on here. I’m not sure if it’s worse than FFDP, but it’s a way funnier choice. Listen to it!!

      • Maik Beninton™

        I now don’t know who to choose

      • Aevum is better because I’m not sure they’re in on the joke. Their sincerity is almost heartbreaking. I am certain everyone in FFDP knows exactly how bad their music is.

        • Joaquin Stick

          I just hope people listen before hitting FFDP by default. It’s amazing.

  • Maik Beninton™

    Is it fine if I vote for things that I know it’s lolbuttz but never listened?

    • Joaquin Stick

      But listening for the lolbuttz is half the fun!

      • Maik Beninton™

        I love Trivium and I don’t wanna bother with their lesser albums.

  • Rusted Nails. That song makes my butt hurt.

    Rusted Nails is an elfic hemorroid.

  • RJA

    I’m afraid I’m going to have to listen to a couple of these matchups to be sure – thanks toilet ov hell!
    The only one I can vote for with absolute confidence as worst song is Hellyeah.

    • Eliza

      I was pretty confident on voting Slither.

      • Maik Beninton™

        I voted for the fat guy, the more I see him the happier I am.

        • Eliza

          That song’s awful, but Slither makes me feel bad.

  • Howard Dean
  • I’m calling for Russian hacking assistance so I can vote both choices in every bracket.

  • SupremeKrieg

    Burn these untrue fvcks.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Spot on.

  • tigeraid

    HEY I don’t mind that Trivium song! Steel Panther wins by default anyway–it’s like comparing Trump to George W.

    • Rain Poncho W.

      I don’t like your implications.

    • Mosh Hoff

      tbf it isn’t horrible, but whenever it comes up I usually skip it. Even in the context of the full album.

  • Mosh Hoff

    Pissed Off and Mad About It 2020

    • Joaquin Stick

      I love how he makes the word “is” into like 3 syllables. This. Eyyyyaaas.

      • Mosh Hoff

        They have a song that might be even worse, and the video is PERFECT.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szjQ0VOWl2E

        • Mosh Hoff

          I think the cringiest and most offensive thing about it is the Dean Guitars.

          • Óðinn

            Agreed. Dean Guitars <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            WHAT?!

          • Óðinn

            Sorry, Boss. I just don’t like them.

          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            I had a Dean guitar many years ago. It wasn’t a very good guitar

          • Mosh Hoff

            I didn’t think anybody did tbh.

          • Black Smallbeard

            like any guitar brand, you get what you pay for. there are nice Deans out there. 🎸

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Grrrrrr

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Hmph

          • Rain Poncho W.

            Boss you may wanna go for a walk or something. It sounds like you’re getting pretty pissed off and mad about it.

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            I don’t think i should read the comments on this series from now on.

          • tigeraid

            I can only assume there’s a bunch of excellent power and speed metal tracks in the next bracket. TovH loves our hate.

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            >excellent power metal
            Lol

          • tigeraid

            Tapir (I assume) pls!

            I’ll just leave this here for Randall to hit with the poser button later.

          • Sir Ukkometso The Based

            YOU CAN’T SILENCE THE TRUTH

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            WRONG!!

          • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

            Which Dean do you have? I had an entry level Razorback many years ago that just sucked. It was worse than the entry level Ibanez that I sold to be able to buy it

          • Señor Jefe El Rosa

            Entrylevelrazorbackofsteel!

  • Rob M

    I need to listen to a couple of these before I vote…but I really…REALLY…dont want to

  • Óðinn
    • CyberneticOrganism

      Alcohol In Ass

      • Óðinn

        See, now you’re making sense.

      • Black Smallbeard

        ez way to die

        • CyberneticOrganism

          HELLYEAH

      • Buttdrankin is an actual thang. /earth

        • I read a real interesting story about a closet alcoholic butt chugging everclear. tl;dr shit out intestinal lining.

          • Óðinn

            fuckin gross.

          • hey if you can think of a more efficient way of gettin drunk, we’d love to hear it

          • Óðinn
          • Rick Chard

            The alcohol or the Band Everclear……

        • more beer

          Also shooting drugs up the ass. Which I have actually seen done.

          • Óðinn

            Gross dude.

          • more beer

            Does it help if told you. It was a really hot stripper I knew. With an incredible ass.

          • Óðinn

            Yes actually. A little. I feel a bit better now. Thank-you.

          • it does actually

  • Most of these were so buttawful that I ended up picking the band I hated more overall.
    Lukewarm Take: Leper’s song was not bad. Just a bit misguided?
    Hot Take: It pains me to even think this but that Strapping Young Lad song was worse than that In Flames song.

    • Joaquin Stick

      I agree with the hot take. That SYL song is a flaming turd.

    • Dr. K

      I kind of enjoyed the silliness of the Leper song. I could not disagree more strongly with your hot take. That SYL song is probably their worst, but it’s still many times better than listening to even a few seconds of Anders’ horrific latter-day singing.

    • Dumpster Lung

      The SYL song was at least sounding like that on purpose haha.

  • Rob M

    Okay…voting done…now I just feel dirty

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    I like Lamb Of God’s “Redneck” 🙁

  • I know Hellyeah is going to win this round, but people should seriously listen to that Leper song. Black metal ska.

    BLACK. METAL. SKA.

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      It is indeed a terrible song, but at least Leper had the decency of not naming it “Alcohaulin Ass”

      • Yeah, just on principal, that Hellyeah song should win. I just don’t want people to miss the total awfulness of the other song.

      • Rob M

        I dont know…I think have to put that name in the “pro” category

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Gotta agree, it almost works

    • The mention of chewing tobacco in the Hellsyeah song cemented my vote on this one.

      • Dumpster Lung

        hahahaha

    • Óðinn

      Well, you’ve gotta work pretty hard to be worse than Hellyeah.

    • NDG

      The Leper track is truly terrible but it’s the baggage associated with Hellyeah that really shits me. When I hear I can imagine a bunch of dudes REALLY enjoying it and that is what makes me hate it even more.

      The same principle applies to FFDP, THC, LoG.

  • Ryan Levitation

    Why isn’t Radikult in this bracket? I guess it’s just to painful to admit that Morbid Angel wrote the worst metal song of all time. I don’t want to believe it either, but sometimes the truth hurts.

  • Every day, this place ventures further and further away from the hall.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7461b4a84c7c696e2a9124925a4fcf9ecc7eb584c2504f9b533b7af2188da96.png

    • Joaquin Stick

      Just be happy that Falconer didn’t make the final cut. Can’t win ’em all.

      • Anyone who dislikes Falconer is objectively a garbage subhuman vermin begging for extermination

        • tigeraid

          I AGREE!!!! (Now that I like one song off the first album.)

        • The Mighty Thorange

          Falconer are fucking great!

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Have you considered maybe doing something about it?

      • Sure let me find some of that free time I’ve heard stories about

  • CyberneticOrganism

    What in the actual fuck with that Issues song

    • Spear

      You might say it has a few…

      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      problems

      • CyberneticOrganism

        The anticipation made me shit

  • GL

    RIP MY JIMMIES

    GL

    • Óðinn

      never forget.

    • You still have one Jimmy 🤜🎆🤛

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    Are there any conspiracy theories that Chris Farley isn’t dead he just went into hiding and reemerged as the singer for Texas Hippie Coalition?

  • BattleBornNDN

    Didn’t vote for Exodus, although the lyrics are lame. Flushed the shit out of FFDP, and Hellyeah, though.

  • Primordial Chaos

    So many shitty songs in here, I hate “Rusted Nail” but hey, can you hear how awful this song is?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SitEuezk_Jw

    • NDG

      Surely those vox have been overdubbed in there?!?

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Most of these were pretty clear and easy, and honestlh, I don’t want to listen to the rest to decide.

  • What the fuck are y’all talking about. That Obituary track RULES.

  • I didn’t plan on contributing to this list, but if I did, I was going to submit the exact THC song that ended up here.

    Thank you, friends.

  • Óðinn
  • CyberneticOrganism

    Ouch.

    Throwback to our first #GRAMMYs Nomination for Best Metal Performance: "Redneck" #TBT https://t.co/jcXYWJCGC1 pic.twitter.com/z4NYnKUVCL— Lamb Of God (@lambofgod) February 9, 2017

    • nnnnnnot a fan

      • CyberneticOrganism

        What an unfortunate day to tweet that.

  • Joe Samson

    Whoa, no Riot song deserves being lumped in with this detritus

  • HessianHunter

    This is unreal. Deciding between that Metallica track and Texas Hippie Coalition is going to keep me up all fucking night.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Awful 90s Metallica > Fatdrunkenslobcore

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Some real ungood stuff going on here. I kinda liked that Leper tune though, in a weird, misguided kinda way.

  • The Mighty Thorange

    It is a rare day when I vote for something else over 5FDP for being terrible. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they are still godawful but I found the bagpipes on the other bands song downright offensive.

  • Óðinn
  • TrundleTheGreat

    I genuinely enjoy those Lamb of God and Trivium songs, fight me.

  • James

    This seems fun.

  • Disgruntled_Goat

    I was about to throw a fit that neither Walk nor Roots Bloody Roots were represented, but then I noticed “The second half of the bracket will be revealed next time.”
    You guys better not disappoint me.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I refer to the part that said: ” (excluding most of the boring nu metal that we’re just better off forgetting about entirely)”.

  • Spear

    Man, that Trivium song isn’t actually that bad. Trite? Absolutely, but at least it’s relatively well-executed. Besides, they had much, much worse songs on that same album. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GMFT9Dph8M

  • Berit Dogg

    Gaah. Voting’s done. This is how i decided:

    I used an experimental setup where hitting the “off” button would also send a painful electric current through my genitals. This made it quite easy to quantify how much of each submission i could take.

    However, after completing the voting round I began questioning the validity of the results. Is “painful” and “bad” really the same thing? Particularly in the Obituary/Danzig choice made the flaws in my experiment obvious.

    After some tinkering I arrived at a method where pressing the button would instead send homicidal amounts of current through the genitals of the band members. Attractive as this method was, it made it impossible to distinguish between the contestants, as I would slam the button as soon as the clip started – if not before. The Obituary submission lasted a few milliseconds longer, though, and this gave me hope I was at on the right path.

    The breakhtrough in the investigations came when I abandoned the idea of using the “off” button in the experiment. In what I hope will be remembered as a great sacrifice for science I simply connected my own private parts to the electric circuit. Thus, I could administer electric shocks of varying severity to the subjects as i listened to their “contributions”, provdided I was prepared to endure equally painful shocks myself.

    This made the voting process quite straightforward, and also made it clear which contestant is the worst of them all. While listening to the “Texas Hippie Collective” I chose to administer shocks that actually killed me.

    Due to restrictions in time and resources the whole business to be conducted as a thought experiment only, but I belive the result still stands.

  • Redneck made the list! I’m a proud turkey indeed!

  • Dark Spirit of Cold Ural Mount

    Exodus? SYL? Lamb of God? The fuck?

    • Dumpster Lung

      The Lamb of God song makes sense to me. That was the first song of theirs I ever heard, and it put me off of listening to them for like a decade before I realized that was just a bad one to start with.

      • Dark Spirit of Cold Ural Mount

        Well, never had an idea that there is something wrong with it as this particular track got me into LoG

        • Dumpster Lung

          I don’t absolutely hate it now or anything, but at the time I’d been hearing all this hype about them for quite some time, and when I finally heard that song, it just came off as a Pantera ripoff or something. I don’t know. I don’t really get so immediately dismissive of things anymore. I was in high school at the time lol.