The Toilet ov Hell Winter Storm Juno Playlist

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If you live in the northeast United States, Winter Storm Juno is currently in the process of fucking up your shit. You’re nips-deep in snow and all sorts of things are cancelling and shutting down due to what might be one of the largest blizzards in the recorded history of the northeast. At least that’s what I hear. Here in the southwest, I’m just watching the hour-by-hour tracking on Weather.com because I have no semblance of a life and going, “man… that pretty well sucks.” Since I don’t have to rush to the store and stock up on canned foods, I figured I’d compile this topic-appropriate playlist designed by myself and various other ToH writers. This was all 365 Days of Horror’s idea, so you can thank him for this opportunity to wait out the storm as a non-poser. Blast it. Annoy the hell out of whoever’s locked away with you. Remember – eat the weak first.



Get to it!

  • Guacamole Jim
    • I wrote this last night. Now it reads as a sarcastic dig to meteorlogists.
      They really don’t deserve the “ist.”

      • They get paid to be wrong for the most part.

        • Lacertilian

          Masterpants MMXV should harness the power of Larry and attack the weatherman.

          ‘There’s a jet stream of bullshit coming out of your mouth’

          http://youtu.be/5oX-8TbQhk0?t=2m58s

      • Guacamole Jim

        I’ve gotten used to just ignoring them, for the most part.

      • JWG

        I’ve heard them called “whether-persons”. Some people spell that all wrong for some reason.

        Naturally, they get their name because there’s no real way to anticipate Whether or not they’re going to be correct on any given day.

    • MoshOff

      Being wrong about the climate is more anticlimatic than a really anticlimatic thing.

    • Gurpation

      IT WAS ALL A CONSPIRACY BETWEEN THE WEATHER CHANNEL AND RETAIL TO MOVE PRODUCT

    • Yeah, they screwed the pooch on this one. Was expecting to be buried but got a dusting instead. Still proceeded with plans not to go to work.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Those are the best kind of plans.

  • Linking the 3IOB picture on the last post made me start listening to them so here’s another song to add to the list: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuYQpeXzwBY
    EDIT: This playlist is so good. I like everything on here.

    • JWG

      I have a version of this album where the metadata identifies this song as “Balls of Fire”.

      Next time I copy it to MP3s so I can take it with me, instead of fixing the title I’m thinking of putting “Not Jerry Lee Lewis” in the composer field.

  • THIS.IS.A.PLAYLIST! #LinkSealOfApproval

  • It’s 75 degrees out and sunny in central Texas. (⌐■_■)

    • that’s in Farenheit?

      • MoshOff

        If it’s Celsius, Joe’s toast.

        • Jajajajaja, excuse about the n00bness I’m used to just centigrades because it’s the system we use here 😛

          Right now here is 33 ºC (91, In farenheit)

          • Akercocke ov Steele

            Wait a sec…hold on, ah shit I need to go back and clear up and get in touch with my inner barometer.

          • Hey! I demand a spotify playlist even if I can’t hear it!!!! 😀 BRING THAT FREAKING PIÑA COLADA!

          • The Bestest Tapir

            It’s -3 celsius here. I’m fucking melting!

          • doesn’t the tapirs have a resistant skin against snow and cold?

          • The Bestest Tapir

            It’s too warm! I want -30 celsius!

          • The Bestest Tapir in my city is like:

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Liquid Tapir is not a beautiful sight.

          • If you ever come to my country I will rent a mobile fridge to present you the city, my friend 😀

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Egypt is the warmest country I’ve been to. It was fucking sweaty.

          • travel to Egypt must be awesome, Tapir. Did you liked even when the liters of tapir sweat you had?

          • The Bestest Tapir

            It was nice there. My only problem was the amount of Russians there. One urinated into the pool and they were rude as fuck.

          • iugh.. that’s gross, bro.. Did you manage to enter a public market?

          • DDubya.

            I’ve been to Dubai, and it is super hot there.

          • middle east must be very weird with the temperatures.. hot in day, cold in night.

          • DDubya.

            It’s the desert climate. Actually, where I live in texas is a lot like a desert. We even get those big sand storms, haboobs.

          • hahaha, boobs.

          • that must be a real problem with all that sand storms :/

          • DDubya.

            The wind is always blowing here. We’re the 3rd windiest city in the US.

          • Wind it’s my natural element 😀 must be awesome to be there. I want to travel there!

          • DDubya.

            Link the Hero of Wind.

          • I don’t wake winds, I just travel with it. Coincidentially, I’ve escaped two robberies in the exact moment when a big wind blowed 😛

          • hey! pure f*cking 90’s style, baby! #dealwithit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eRBFkxgG7g

          • Chicago’s originally called The Windy City because of the politicians, but try telling that to anyone who’s been there in the winter!

          • The Bestest Tapir

            The only kind of sand storms we have here are like this.
            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PSYxT9GM0fQ

          • DDubya.

            oonts oonts oonts oonts doodiloodoo doodiloodoo

          • Tyree

            Oh….

          • The Bestest Tapir

            My friendo has been there and told that it’s a nice place.

          • DDubya.

            I liked it quite a bit. The social structure makes me a bit sad, though.

          • Guacamole Jim

            What the hell kind of winter has this been? I’m finding myself longing for the usual frigid January temperatures. The muck is best reserved for the spring, and only the spring.

          • DDubya.

            It’s that global warming, jim.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Global warming can fuck itself with a giant cactus. I want my winter back!

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Don’t steal my phrase!

          • The Bestest Tapir

            I’ve used that phrase while you were still a sperm in your dad’s hairy testicles!

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I used it before your species even existed!

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Tapirs have existed forever. They created everything. We are God!

          • BLXKKBEXRD

            Phrases around here are fluid. I feel a certain amount of pride whenever I coin one that gets used.

          • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

            We all do

          • The Bestest Tapir

            I’m the only one in my family that likes winters.

          • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

            Your family is flushed up. That’s what I’ve always said.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Truu

          • but i’m still using the cactus :/

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Jimmy, you can’t just take the cactus!

          • KJM

            You can have mine.

      • HessianHunter

        No, Joe is actually being incinerated right now. RIP Papa Joe, it’s been real.

    • 44 degrees in Western North Carolina. It’s perfect for me.

      • Akercocke ov Steele

        It rained here a little bit last night, mostly overcast and temperate now.

      • HessianHunter

        45-55 degrees is the optimal temperature, imo.

        • I would die in Minnesota. Like, immediately.

        • Definitely. I like wearing hoodies and long pants so it is optimal for me.

          • HessianHunter

            For me it’s because I bike everywhere, and that’s the temperature range in which I can just wear long pants and a t-shirt and not arrive to my destination sweaty.

      • About 40 or so here in Newport News.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Don’t brag. It’s 12 degrees here.

    • Corey Tay Tay

      Right now it’s 26 degrees Celsius here.
      It’s not so bad but the other it was over 30.

    • Guacamole Jim

      It’s 39F right now in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. In January. I busted out the t-shirt & jeans combo, no coat. It is terrifyingly warm.

    • It’s about 60 here and supposed to be 70 tomorrow, but it’s supposed to snow Friday -.-

    • KJM
    • But all that dry as fuck heat too. I’ve never been sunburnt quicker anywhere else than there.

      • Lacertilian

        Don’t come to Australia then.
        CFCs turned the Ozone layer into the nOzone, it’s only just repairing now.

        • Sounds awesome! Does that mean people are turning into mutants and zombies from all the radiation?

          • Lacertilian

            Could help explain the hastening evolution of the introduced Cane Toad into some sort of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle style henchmutant like BeBop & Rocksteady.

        • I’ve heard you guys have a higher rate of skin cancer than pretty much anywhere else because of that : /

          • Lacertilian

            Yep, although it doesn’t help that your typical Aussie will parade around with very little clothing on during summer with the sunscreen is for pussies mentality.
            I look forward to winter every year as I work outdoors.

      • I am very, very white. Sunscreen erry’day or else.

    • more beer

      It was the same in Denver today.

  • Tyree

    The Pagan Winter may be my favorite Darkthrone song. It’s so very appropriate for winter of course too. Glad to see Dissection made the list too.

    You done good you nippleless warrior.

    http://www.comicsbulletin.com/main/sites/default/files/shot/images/1304/game-of-thrones-nipple.gif

    • Guacamole Jim
    • Thanks for telling the whole world about my lack of nipples, dude.

      • Guacamole Jim
      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I’m so sorry. How does that even work?

        • He can no longer nurse his young : (

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            That’s so sad. 🙁

          • DDubya.

            It’s all bottles for him.

          • No sensual nipple play either.

          • That part hurts even worse than the constant “take off your skin-colored shirt” jokes.

      • Corey Tay Tay
        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          What is with his hair? It looks so bad.

          • He ran.. He ran so far away 😉 😉

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            How did you know I love A Flock Of Seagulls?

          • DDubya.

            You’ve told us.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I must have forgotten about that.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            That’s not really a hard thing to guess.

          • It was more sure than a shot to the floor…

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            It isn’t. They’re so good even though their image destroyed their credibility. My dad saw them with the Go Gos and he caused a loud boo chant that resulted in AFOS geting booed off stage.

          • why did your dad bullied A Flock of Seagulls?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            He wanted The Go Gos to get on stage already.

          • dude, your dad is very mean 🙁 poor guys

          • The Bestest Tapir

            Your dad has a better taste in music than you do?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            No. He likes the Go Gos.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            But doesn’t like AFOS?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            He hates AFOS.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            He’s a good man.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            He likes the J Geils Band.

          • *boots him off the stage Gong Show style*

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Finally, someone who likes AFOS! I like their first two albums. Beyond that I didn’t really like their output.

          • more beer

            You should act more like your father. I have to give him props for that.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            You don’t like AFOS? I don’t hate them but I wouldn’t boo them off the stage.

          • more beer

            No I didn`t like them in 80`s and that hasn`t changed. I do think your father doing that is way funny. The not booing them of the stage is a generational thing. Today everyone is taught to be nice to everyone else. . Because if you hurt anyone’s feelings they might break. Back in the day you were taught to speak your mind. your dad was speaking his mind. It worked he got what he wanted.

          • Because everyone knows they rule?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            They do rule. I own Freeze Frame on cassette and I own Sanctuary on vinyl.

          • Lacertilian

            My mates and I had a stupid(ly awesome) idea of a Flock of Seagulls cover band where we play onstage all dressed as different Steven Seagal characters.
            Behold the Flock Of Seagals

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            You should totally make that a real band. I’d see every show you ever did.

          • Lacertilian

            We unfortunately only knew of one or two AFoS songs and had nearly zero desire to learn them. I did make that shitty MS paint jpg though, then the abundance of cannabinoids wore off.
            All I know is that I was trying to score Casey Ryback as my character.

      • Tyree

        Everyone knows dude. You have peg legs too.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      AHHHHHHHH!!!

    • Mother Shabubu III

      GAZE INTO MY NIPPLES OF THE FUTURE

    • Is that Ben Kingsley?!?

  • HessianHunter

    MEGALOL for the Cold song on there. Completely forgot that band existed.

    Also in Minnesota it’s unseasonably warm at a balmy 30 degrees right now. I haven’t even been bothering with a jacket this week, just long sleeve shirts.

  • The Bestest Tapir

    Stratovarius? Ewwwwwwwww

  • MoshOff

    What’s the highest and lowest annual temperature where you live? Mine is 14º to 95º F

    • Howard Dean

      Record high: 106 F
      Record low: -50 F

      • MoshOff

        I meant average haha, but ’tis good.

        • Guacamole Jim

          Oh. Whoops, I made the same error.

    • 21º to 90º F average annual temperature where I am.
      Highest and lowest records are 121º F and -40º F.

    • ~30ºF – ~110ºF

    • DDubya.

      record low here is -17ºF. Record high is 114ºF.

      • I think that Texas got the most serious climate changes in the entire continent, jajajaja.

        • DDubya.

          My little corner of the state is 2extreme.

          • Max

            Texas IS extreme weather-wise. I know this because:

            In my job I once recorded a lecture given by a guy visiting from Texas. I can’t remember his name; he was this hippy dude who designs and builds off-grid ecologically-sustainable housing – using only non-recyclable materials that can be found anywhere in the world (like tyres that you fill with dirt to make building blocks that act as really good insulation).

            Anyway, the selling point for his designs was that they were so well-constructed with regard to keeping an even temperature (without recourse to air-conditioning or central heating) that any time of the year, they were never hotter or colder than 3 degrees more or less than 24 degrees Celsius (75 degrees Farenheit).

            He showed us slides of a whole village of ’em that he’d built in one of the Texas deserts. The selling point to us in South Australia was that, like Texas, we’re hot and dry in summertime. Unlike us, however, in wintertime the Texas deserts are buried in snow. So your range of weather is way more extreme than ours; and yet he was still able to accomplish such a consistent indoor temperature. One of the houses even had a healthy banana tree growing inside.

            I must say the houses looked pretty weird; but an interesting guy.

          • I would buy some of those houses 🙁 must be very cheap

          • Was he talking about the Earthship Project?

          • Max

            I’m pretty sure that’s exactly the one. Mike Reynolds must’ve been the guy I was recording, based on what it says in Wikipedia versus what I remember him relating of his background.

      • Goddamn, sounds more like you live in Iraq!

        • Lacertilian

          Well @disqus_kqxyUNPxty:disqus did have a bit of a fetish for Iraq didn’t he?

    • Guacamole Jim

      The highest temperature recorded within the City of Edmonton was 34.9 °C (94.8 °F), on June 26, 2002. The lowest overall temperature ever recorded in Edmonton was −49.4 °C (−56.9 °F), on January 19 and 21, 1886.

    • Scrimm

      122 here for high. Not sure on lows but probably somewhere between 20-30

    • In Maracaibo is 39.6 Cº (103.3 f) the highest and the lowest is 18.8 Cº (65.8 f). But this may vary because the weather here is very humid because we have a big, smelly and putrid lake in the right side.

    • BLXKKBEXRD

      Highs around 85-90, lows in the single digit negatives

      • BLXKKBEXRD

        I also just realized that this thing says our average max temp is …

        66.6

        scrugs

    • Here (Hampton Roads, VA), it gets up to about 105 F, lowest I’ve ever seen was 17 F. Highest back in Chicago was 108 F and with wind chill, -25 F.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt/Not Sludge

      Record Low: -21F
      Record High: 106F

      Lowest Average: 28F (Jan and Feb)
      Highest Average: 72F (July)

  • Tyree

    Frozen Death/Doom Metal for ya’ll.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VO_U44g_p9E

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    a trend that would probably be good to end—is anytime the weather/news can predict disaster–they exagerrate it–al
    part of the overall chaos/division msm agenda–against america

    also there is a campaign to reorganize consciousness of “food”—to have fast food that is over the top “super greasy’ or whatever–so that they can justify agenda 21 food control totalitarianism/control over human diet

    also the farmers only.com dating commercials–is part of overall media psyop–that is all about “ostracizing” farmers and their lifestyle characteristics

    to make all private food production illegal—for complete control of all aspects of human existence—
    unto the leonard nimoy holographic pyramid worship /fast food/cardboard people———- non religious /vaguely researched “scientific” future–as thinly disguised star trek ego trip—that was misperceived by children of the jfk murderers in the 60s—and became the weather channel

    so the tv————> “lies”—to create “situations’–for chaos/conflict with the domestic pro usa infrastructure

    • Guacamole Jim

      I’m beginning to understand you better, and I’m not sure if that’s because you’re getting clearer, or I’m getting stranger.

  • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

    It’s +15C here. I. Am. BBQ. Right. Now

    • The Bestest Tapir

      Gonna be +80C here tomorrow (because sauna day!!!!)

      • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

        Scrug. Every day is sauna day.

        • The Bestest Tapir

          Today was sauna day, tomorro is sauna day, VITTU sauna day every day

          • Nordling Rites ov Kahlua

            The only place where I want MORE heat.

          • The Bestest Tapir

            I feel you, comrade

  • Something like 16 inches of snow by me right now. Hoping I don’t have to go into work tomorrow too.

  • PhoenixKing Leonhart

    Humph. We Northern Easters do this nearly every year.

    True struggle is trudging through nearly 2 feet of snow to get to work cause the buses can’t go down the roads without slipping despite having chains on their tires.

    That being said, this storm was weaker than they thought it would be.

  • The Battle Born NDN

    Fucking great list. Needs Rimfrost
    http://youtu.be/eIdf4fU0ZVo

    • Guacamole Jim

      Sounds like something that happens when you get your butt licked by a yeti.

      • The Bestest Tapir

        Getting to lick yeti butt is better tho.

        • Guacamole Jim

          Yeah, but then this happens:

          http://i.imgur.com/G4vjb.png

          • The Bestest Tapir

            That’s the best part. Having you tongue stuck in yeti’s anus.

      • DDubya.

        That’s where baby wendigos come from.

  • Stanley

    Nice work on the playlist. Once you’re all done listening, here is the encore that you’ve been looking for.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNFnl66jmnU&spfreload=10

  • JWG

    I saw Juno Playlist, and I got very confused. The Juno Award nominees are in fact out already, but I don’t know why a non-Canadian blog would notice that before I did…

    Incidentally, the “Hard Rock/Metal” category has nominated:

    – Devin Townsend’s Z2
    – Kataklysm for Waiting for the End to Come (making up for a missed nomination in 2014 because the awards “year” counts up to early October just past from the previous year’s October)
    – Skull Fist
    – Brotherhood of the Ram
    – some random post-hardcore band

    • Lacertilian

      Tag-Team ov Hell

    • knife to meet ya!

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        “Let off some steam!”

        Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando

  • this playlist includes a song by Cold.
    *quits Toilet ov Hell

    • DON’T GO, YIMI “FOLS TACOS” MAC NULTI!!!

      • DDubya.

        He has false taco flavored kisses.

    • DDubya.
      • even if i weren’t a “cat guy”, i’d do anything for that little rascal!

        • BLXKKBEXRD

          *doesn’t friends with non-Cat Guys

    • I tried to sneak in a Snow Patrol song too. It got vetoed.

      • Stockhausen

        Snow Patrol is so bad that if someone were to ask “Do you like Snow Patrol?” I would say “I do not.”

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          Snow Patrol is so bad if I was in the band and someone asked me if I was in Snow Patrol I’d say I wasn’t.

        • Homigod that’s bad. *never admit to liking any of their old material…

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I hate them so much.

          • Stockhausen

            …do you have something you’d like to share with the class.

          • Final Straw had a few good songs.
            i accept detention.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Damnit Jimmy!

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Jimmy plz!

  • Corey Tay Tay
  • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

    Here’s my Winter Storm Juno playlist:

    You’re Getting Even While I’m Getting Odd-J Geils Band
    Ohio Is For Lovers-Hawthorne Heights
    Ohio-Crosby Stills Nash & Young
    In A Gadda Da Vida-Iron Butterfly
    Radioactive-The Firm

    • BLXKKBEXRD

      You’re one of those people who, when he rips albums, jumbles up the tags and the filename! Curse you, JJD!

  • Or as we Chicagoans call it, a average winter storm in November.
    Anywho, this should fit the mood for you poor little eensy weensie Northeasterners.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUlogHs7szo

    • BLXKKBEXRD

      Oh man, I forgot about this band/album. Its somewhere in the recesses of an external hdd. Thanks, KJU. You made my night.

      • I almost forgot about it to but it popped off the top of my head out of nowhere. Some good, dark, icey blackened doom metal to warm up the soul (with liquid nitrogen)!

    • BLXKKBEXRD

      Have this one, as a gesture of good faith to the Supreme Leader of the People’s Democratic Republic of North Korea, Kim Jong Un. Though, we know it never snows in Best NK because it would make it impossible for rainbows to shine:
      http://youtu.be/UyhnpqUUneA

  • KJM

    Stupid fucking snow. I don’t care if it’s 2 inches, 2 ft, or 2 meters. It can all go right back up the ass of Winter from whence it came.

    • The Bestest Tapir

      Whence means “from where”, so you said “from from where”.