The Road to the Pooper Bowl – Week 5: Live Bloggin’

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Good morning sports fans. Are you looking for Whiff of the Week? It’s taking the week off. Sorry homey. Instead, let’s live blog the NFL together.

Here’s the schedule for today. Be sure to let me know what you’re watching in the comments.

12:00 CST: 

Bills at Lions

Ravens at Colts

Bears at Panthers

Browns at Titans

Steelers at Jaguars

Texans at Cowboys

Bucs at Saints

Falcons at Giants

Rams at Eagles

3:05 CST:

Cards at Broncos

Chiefs at 49ers

Jets at Chargers

7:30 CST:

Bengals at Patriots

 

Best Game of the Week History of Mankind:

There is only one game this week you should care about. None other in the history of the NFL can compare. The Ice Bowl in 1967? Dogshit. The ’82 Epic in Miami? No one cares. In the long lore of the NFL there are only two teams that matter: The Dallas Cowboys and the Houston Oilers Texans. Why? Because Texas is the best at everything. The Cowboys and the Texans were heavily discounted at the beginning of the season but are both off to an excellent start at 3-1.

These teams have not met since the Texans first year as a team in 2002. Because they exist in opposite conferences, a Texan (uh, person who lives in Texas) can generally get away with supporting both teams. That is not the case today. There is blood in the air and obesity on the ground in Dallas today. Which awful fanbase will prevail? I dunno, but if you have eyes and ears and legs and an ass you need to move your ass to your nearest television to watch this game.

Worst Game of the Week:

I could cheat and say Minnesota-Green Bay because it already happened and it was awful (seriously Minnesota, there’s a lot of you here, what the hell?) but I’ll just pick my two favorite punching bags and say Steelers at Jags. This game will be all the fun of a garbage fire.

Baseless Predictions of the Week:

Rex Ryan will inexplicably remain Jets head coach after they are destroyed by San Diego.

Rob Ryan will have visible nacho stains on his sweatshirt.

Worst Person on the Field:

It’s another week where the shittiest people are sitting in a league office, but you’re free to take your pick for players.

Uninformed Picks from a Bad Gambler:

Last week I told you to take the Lions at -2 and San Diego at -14. Those both paid off. Hooray! Then I told you to take Washington at -4. That did not pay off. Booo. My record on the year is 7-5.

This week I would take Carolina at -2.5, the Falcons at +4.5, and the Browns over Tennessee at even odds.


I’ll be with you making fun of football all day. Let’s get at it.

Football!

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  • Mr.CustodialArts
  • W.

    Joe, you and I are doing absolutely awful at Fantasy.

    Also, my Red Raiders are terribad this season. The Broncos are the only bright spot on my football horizon.

    • I’m in four leagues. It’s only week 5 but I’m pretty sure I’m out of contention in 3 of them : /

    • I’m so glad I didn’t do fantasy football this year, absolute fucking disaster.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I’m in first. Who’s next to fall at my might?

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    I keep reading these articles, every now and then a team or two rings a bell. “Hey that team was featured in this and this movie!” But most of it is just Hebrew to me (do you say that in English?). I’ve never ever watched a single game of “american football”

    • W.

      Our more commonly used idiom is, “It’s all Greek to me.” It’s a reference to Julius Caesar.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I figured it’d be something else

        • W.

          From where does your phrase come?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I don’t really know. There’s not really many Hebrew speaking persons in Finland and it’s linguistically very far from Finnish? Maybe Death knows being a teacher and all

          • Hey, De Lirium’s Order is good shit, thanks.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I reckoned it’d be nice to introduce the Toilet to this band as it was one of the two tech death bands I listened to before I first read a “Tech-Death Thursday”, so thank you too for introducing me to so much good tech death (what I used to think was mostly a contradiction) .

          • Haha you’re welcome.

          • Death

            I also showed De Lirium’s Order to you earlier. I get no credit again

            🙁

          • When was this?

          • Death

            I’ll seek it out, brb

          • Death
          • That was forever ago lol

          • Death

            I’m still offended. You never remember me.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            You have been completely ignored. But such is life, except for you such is death I guess. No one likes to die so people really try to avoid you.

          • Death

            Probably from the fact that Hebrew is thought to be a strange language here and is hard to read.

      • i personally use “it’s all Chinese to me”

    • Do you have means to watch a game (i.e. a shady internet stream)? In 90 minutes you could watch the first games with us and learn the game/talk shit on American sports.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I could maybe watch it, I bet I could find it. But I’m not a sports fan. I watch very little sports overall.

        • Death

          Don’t do it mate! Let the Americans watch their handegg.

          • ^^^ This dude is the definition of a wet blanket. Don’t listen to him.

          • W.

            Wet blanket is one of my favorite insults.

          • Death

            Fuck you Joe.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Why’s it called football though, you use more hands than feet. And there had been a very popular sport called football for like aeons before the handegg was invented (Gotta love handegg, using it from now on)

          • Death

            It’s just a weak version of Rugby.

          • Fuck you Death.

          • Death

            Thanks honey!

          • more beer

            Thank you Joe.

          • Takes a lot more skill than rugby does.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I like Rugby a bit. It’s bloody enough

          • It’s a good sport, but to say football is just a weak version of it is being ignorant.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I wouldn’t know, but I guess calling just about any sport merely a weaker version of another would be ignorant

          • Guest

            All we own is regret between birth and death, the human lie manifest

            This new album of theirs is so good.

          • Death

            baby, it was just provocation.

          • The crippled bull of dischord wrath and avarice, will find it’s way, into another age.

          • J.R.

            All we own is regret between birth and death, the human lie manifest

            This new album of theirs is so good!

          • In the US you can tell someone is a neckbeard if they use the term “handegg”.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            How can a person be a neckbeard, you confuzzle me

          • Death

            It’s a derogatory term towards nerds.

          • Trying to think of the right synonym. Basement-dwellers? Reddit enthusiasts?
            http://i.imgur.com/UZcxds7.jpg

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Oh I sees, so it’s a shame I have a neckbeard?

          • Does your neckbeard connect with the rest of a beard? Cuz it seems like a questionable fashion choice.

          • Death

            Who even cares about fashion?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            People who write magazines maybe, baby

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            It goes all the way up to my hair… All connected in a big fuzzball, with tentacles on the top

            I don’t live in a cellar though.

          • Kyle Orton

          • Death

            I use the term “handegg” and I don’t have a neckbeard. Get rekt

          • JWG

            If I’m feeling particularly feisty I will deliberately vocally emphasize the “gridiron” in gridiron football … as opposed to “real” football.

            My ability to be a dick about it is slightly undermined by the fact that Canadian Football is also the American style.

          • I don’t mind the term “gridiron football” at all. It’s a descriptive differentiation. “Handegg” is just unfunny bullshit repeated over and over by nerds that don’t like sports.

          • JWG

            The last time I ever used the term ‘handegg’ was when, as a kid, a friend who’d probably just learned it said it – and my small band of friends and I decided right then and there to try playing a version of football with an actual egg (or rather a dozen).

            The losing team was the one whose 6 eggs got smashed (by tacklers) first.

            My mother was not happy with our egg-wasting. But we had fun.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet
          • Death

            Fuck it! I’ll take it as a compliment because it’s true.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Go back to your imaginary land of ELP hate and whatever sports you have you mean man.

          • Death
          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You hate football, which only makes me want to do it more. I feel all your favorite prog bands would be ashamed of you and your football hating.

          • Death

            My favourite prog bands aren’t even American, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t mind it.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You don’t like football. That makes me sad. Why can’t the old Death I know and love come back? I’ll stop talking about ELP if I have to. Who else will I be able to tell about my adventures?

          • Death

            The old Death disliked handegg as well. I’m a party pooper.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVOmquEcGEE

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            That’s fine. I may love football and we may disagree on a lot of things but we both love prog. Come back bae, I miss you!

          • ummmmmm its ‘Futbol Americano’

  • The Panthers are one of those teams we absolutely should not lose to and most of the league expects us to win. So, naturally, we will probably lose to them.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    This should be the soundtrack to the game of your life. I know I listen to it everytime I go watch cricket.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFjVbtz4xIQ

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      My soundtrack to football is Starcastle because I love a good laugh and a reason to get angry when my team does something stupid.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I can’t listen to prog when I need to focus on something else with all my sensory perceptorsthingies. I feel I might miss something great either on the music or on the game

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          It works well with me because I like to get energized and angry during sports watching. Starcastle is perfect for that purpose.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            It does anger people well

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        I think we should start a petition to get ELP in the rock n roll hall of fame.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          There should be a petition for that. Same thing with The Moody Blues and Yes.

  • Edward Meehan

    I’m going into work today but this is a fantastic idea. Godspeed gentlemen.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    First place is mine! I am going to wipe the floor with all of you.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Cowboys and Texans game has the potential to be totally awesome or horribly pathetic. JJ Watt is a beast, and the Cowboys offensive line have their work cut out for them.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I have the Texan’s defense on my fantasy team so I am trusting them. I hope they do well.

    • The Texans could be so damn good with a quality QB.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        They could be… could be… but they aren’t, and they suck, and their team name is dumb, and GO COWBOYS!!

    • Howard Dean

      He is such a Frankenstein-looking motherfucker.

  • Game time in 50 minutes! I’mma go eat some waffles.

  • Beunhaas

    I don’t know anything about this sport so have some Giger instead.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      Giger is love, Giger is life

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      Truly stands with the likes of picasso ,van gogh, michaelangelo & dali.

  • PrincePoopyPanties

    GO BEARS!!!! I hope they win the Super Bowl like they have the last 10 years! OK, that didn’t happen and they’ve sucked for the longest time, but:

    http://www.quickmeme.com/img/19/19e8b5d33db0e398f232b455dc35e878d444756e27d2af979b43e8c4fe00f05b.jpg

    • Howard Dean

      That video of the adult wrestling fan is the funniest/saddest thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Aaaaaand cowboys fumble in the red zone.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      You just wait. 3 whole quarters left buddy. And Jackson ain’t looking too good, might have to sit the rest out.

      • The Texans D is still terrifying though. I don’t want to fuck with a dude name MERCILUS.

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          JJ’s hitting the oxygen a little hard on the sideline. Looks tired…

          • His body must use a ton of energy trying to support his massive neck.

          • Another Cowboys fumble

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Hhhmmmm…..*flush*

          • Ryan Fitzpatrick should consider retiring from football and becoming a reclusive 19th century alcoholic novelist. He’s certainly got the beard for it.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Points is points. 3 for D!

          • Dan Bailey: MVP

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Ha. Too true.

          • Woah! Arian Foster just had a flashback to 2011.

          • WOW get the fuck outta here!

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            BOOOMMM!!! HOW BOUT DEM BOYS!!

          • THERE’S the Romo I know.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            The interception sucked yes, but hey, we’re right back in it bro. Murray is fucking yall up! Touchdown in 3…2…1. ..

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Dammit…

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Dallas D doing alright today.
            …doesn’t hurt that Fitz can’t throw for shitz! LOL

        • I am terrified to learn there is actually a person with that last name. Is football really just an 80s action movie?

  • In case you’re colorblind: everything is covered in pink for breast cancer awareness and also to generate a ton of money that will never, ever be donated.

    • W.

      Susan Komen smiles down from her decadent pink throne.

  • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

    I don’t know much about football but i could get behind this. I am cheering for these teams.

    • more beer

      That`s respectable as you are a Canadian unlike death who is just being a douche about it.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        We have the CFL here but it is like a 3rd rate NFL.

        • W.

          My Alma Mater’s old QB was drifting around in the CFL for a bit if I’m not mistaken.

          • I went to high school with that guy.

          • W.

            Graham Harrell? He had a hell of an arm, but he was so slow on the field.

          • Yep. Though I am jealous he got to spend a few years sitting on a bench and making money. I think he got a super bowl ring for his efforts too.

          • W.

            I believe you’re correct. It’s nice to see Welker and Crabtree doing okay in the NFL.

          • I will hate Michael Crabtree til the day I die.

          • W.

            For that I can’t blame you.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            That’s how I feel about my former baseball heroes like Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds. I loved baseball when people like Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield were playing games and sending the balls flying. Then the steroid allegations happened followed by the confessions of steroid usage. When I found out Barry used steroids I cried, yet not as hard as I did when Randy Savage died.

          • NDNOvHell

            🙂

            May I ask why?

          • Because of this game. Broke my heart right in two.
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Texas_vs._Texas_Tech_football_game

          • NDNOvHell

            Ohhh ok. That looked like an intense game

          • Back up QB and bull pen catcher are the two best jobs In sports IMO.

          • nope back up kicker/punter. make dat tasty league minimum to do absolutely nothing.

        • JWG

          I respectfully disagree …It’s 2nd rate at least.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          A lot of wrestlers have been in the CFL or the NFL. Steve McMichael was a NFL player who had a Super Bowl ring, Goldberg played with the LA Rams, the Atlanta Falcons and a CFL Team called the Sacramento Gold Miners. Hell, Lex Luger got drafter to the Packers yet never played a game for them.

        • more beer

          Hey Brother I agree with that. How was your show last night? As I know you dont get a lot of good shows where you are.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            skeletonwitch was my favorite, thrash/death with an old school vibe. My favorite new band for sure. Amon Amarth are great live, really good frontman. No gimmicks just straight up metal. Lucky this month , suffocation on the 28th.

    • Cock ov Steele

      Do they need a new head coach?

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        hahahahh, i am getting a double meaning if i am not mistaken.

    • Scrimm

      Never cheer for the Cardinals.

      • W.

        I’ve got their defense!

        • Scrimm

          You have an excuse then. I guess.

  • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

    AA, Sabaton & Skeletonwitch tonite – let the swords run red as i battle in the maelstrom of metal !

    • Have fun and say hi to Paris for me!

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        I will, i am at a disadvantage as to the famous miss. hiltons true identity so it should be interesting.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Sweetness! Have fun dude. Skeletonwitch had a gnarly pit when I saw them a few weeks ago.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        Thanks, i have never seen any of these bands so it looks to be a good time.

    • J.R.

      You gotta tell me how that goes, man

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        for sure. I will probably write about it when i get home. It’s about an hour and a half from where i live.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        Just got back man, great time, been so long since i have seen a club show. Had to drive an hour and a half to get there but it’s not that far. Just been living the life of a hermit. I was hoping to catch up with some old friends but couldn’t find one, never kept track of them. Ended up talking with some of the next generation of metalheads. The enthusiasm of the young fans is inspiring to the old generation like myself.
        Skeletonwitch opened and ripped the crowd a new one. I would describe them as predominately thrash/death metal with death metal vox. I also detected a slight NWOBHM flavor in the music. Plus their guitar sound was night and day with Sabaton & lot dirtier than AA. I just kind of gut a rusted chainsaw feeling off the riffs. The bassist won me over just by playing an old school geddy lee style b/w rickenbacker. Damn, that bass was more beautiful than the young girls at the show. The singer reminds me exactly of otis from devils rejects, greying beard and all. Superior frontman, not much time for talk, ripped through their set at great speed. I really like these guys a lot.
        Sabaton – Didn’t know what to think at first. Of course they are a very good humored power metal and the crowd really was into it. I can say they are far better than stratovarius which is the only other power metal band if have seen. High energy , everyone in the band smiling , nice to see.
        AA – flawless death metal played with honesty, another frontman with a larger than life personality that fills the whole venue. Powerful voice that never faulters. Great guitar sound.
        One thing i enjoyed is the frontmen of all 3 bands never pulled a tough guy stage persona. Skeletonwitch was as intense as hell but the vibe was welcoming. Sabaton by their very genre are a crowd encompassing band. AA play well to the audience as well, very good vibes.
        My only sadness is that i never got to see Paris hilton who was suppose to be there. The venue was packed though and much larger than i thought it would be. Also i met no one at the show who knew who mortican were ( i wore my chainsaw dismemberment shirt)
        I also had a prime place to stand against an upper level railing next to some sexy chicks but i offered my place to a guy in a wheel chair who was paralyzed.
        Also there is tons of merch, especially from AA, all though all bands had a lot of stuff. Met a few people i will probably see at suffocation.
        Skeletonwitch was the band of the night for me but it was a varied bill especially with the power metal of sabaton to settle things down before the AA attack.

        • Howard Dean

          You’re a good dude, Conan.

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          Sounds like it was a great time. I’m looking forward to the Suffocation show coming up on the 17th down here in Texas.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            It was great, i am going to suffocation on the 28th except up here in canada kataklysm is the headliner. 5 bands, thats going to be a devastating night, i was tired after 3 tonite !

        • J.R.

          Sounds like a 0 Flush kind of night! Man….I’m so excited! Masterlord went and saw some band a wrote about it, you should submit your next show summation to The Toilet Keepers and bask in the bountiful pageviews that will follow.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            yea, skeletonwitch really blew me away big time. Bought a couple of discs at the show and am going to get their other 2 releases. If i could go to this whole show again next week i would. I like to just write my reviews in comments , less pressure for accuracy. Tell me what you think when you go. In fact anybody that goes to a metal show should put up a comment about it, can’t hurt.

          • J.R.

            So I just got back from that concert. Neck hurting ears ringing but man what a blast. It sucked that Skeletonwitch didnt have their vocalist but they absolutely killed it. I was not expecting myself to dig them as much as I did, which makes no sense because on paper they are everything I like. My brother ended up getting his picture with them and buying a butt-ton of their merch. Pretty good.
            Sabaton was very good as well. I didnt know enough of their material to really go crazy, but the crowd was excited and into it so that was fun. The band seemed real happy to be there and you could tell they were having a fun time rockin out. At the end they called some 12 year old kid onstage and let him rock with em. the singer guy gave him his glasses and some cool loot. I was jealous. Brother got the setlist paper they had taped to the stage, and bassist (who looked like chuck norris lol) signed it.
            Amon Amarth were fantastic. Just absolutely crushed. I was sad that they didnt play “With Oden on our Side”, and Im not as familiar with their new album as I am with the others, but they encored with “Twilight of the Thunder God” and “Pursuit of Viking”, which was the best decision of all time. Brother got a guitar pick.
            TL;DR show was super good, my Brother got a lot of loot, and we jammed to the new BCI all the way home.
            Venue was also really nice and a straight drive down. real foggy on the way back though.
            .5/5 flushes because no Skeletonwitch vocals

          • CONANtheMotherFuckin’KING

            hope they come through again with a headlining tour. Just praying for chance to come back, such a great frontman, could be one of the best ever with time.

    • W.

      Fight with honor and bravery!

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        I shall uphold the good name of the toilet !

    • SMOHLG

      Just saw them last monday! Awesome show! All three bands absolutely killed it.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        Agree, it was a great time. It was the first club show i have been to for about 10 years so i didn’t know a soul. Skeletonwitch was my favorite, but of course they had the shortest set. Sabaton is great at what they do although power metal is not my favorite genre they really enjoyed themselves on stage and sounded great. AA have a bigger following that i thought, the place was really packed. All bands have great front men which is key to a band’s success in my opinion.

  • It would appear that my picks for Cleveland and Carolina were… a bit off.

  • Mother Shabubu III

    So how many more wife/kid/dog/girl/etc-beaters were arrested or convicted this week?

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Grrrrr….

  • Scrimm

    Screw Texas. I’m taking my Bungles over the Patriots. I out this up already but It’s valid again

    • W.

      I need Tom Brady to not completely suck this week.

      • Scrimm

        He may not. They seem to be a team that does well after taking a bad licking. But Cincy’s defense is pretty darn good.

        • W.

          We shall see. I don’t have high hopes for my Fantasy season.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Its a little early to burry the Pats. The will still get a by thus playoffs.

      • Scrimm

        What a meltdown

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I wouldn’t worry to much about your team though. You guys should win your division and win at least one playoff game. I can see you guys winning in Foxborer.

          • Scrimm

            I’m not worried. Sometimes a loss is good anyway.

  • NCIS and The Big Bang Theory are the number 1 shows on television, apparently. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

    • W.
    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      We are talking the big 4 networks. – It`s like the Thrash big 4 – we keep waiting for something great but never get it.

      ABC
      CBS
      NBC
      FOX

      They are fighting for good programming and losing against AMC, HBO and all the other premium channels. I agree on NCIS (so boring) , its been on forever, it reminds of that super boring show JAG that was on for about 10 years. It was an old peoples show. Now there is NCIS new orleans. I don`t know what happened to NCIS LA. Really weak shows. Hawaii five o is probably the worst written show on tv though. A total waste of the great shooting location of hawaii.

      • Cock ov Steele

        Fortunately I avoided all that stuff like JAG and NCIS. My dad was into the British shows like MI5 and even the Danish series Bron (Which has been ripped off or “adapted” over here.)

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        I used to enjoy Hawaii 5-0 but that show got very old. Now I enjoy comedies like Bad Judge, A to Z and Manhattan Love Story.

    • Xan

      I stick mostly to old shows. I think I was born about 40 years too late. I love Star Trek: TOS, TNG, DS9, and Voyager. The three Stargate shows are good. MacGyver, Hercules, the old Dr. Who, Battlestar Galactica. Dis mah shit.

  • Alright @mattpikessweatyleftnipple:disqus. Here’s where it all goes down. 1:59 left

    • HOT DAMN! GO FOR TWO.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        We got this… maybe… ah yea we got this.

        • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

          Dammit Bryant!!

          • It looks like Dan Bailey is gonna get his chance to win the actual game MVP…

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Winning > Not Winning
            Come on Bailey! MVP!!…MVP!!…

          • IT’S NO GOOOOOOD! OVERTIME!!!!!!!

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            This game is bad for my blood pressure, and worse for my liver…

          • Holy shit. Did Dez just actually catch that?

          • AAAAAND looks like Bailey came through after all. Cowboys win 20-17

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            WOO!!! Cowboys get it done!! 4-1 son!! #JJWho?

          • As I said earlier, if Houston didn’t have a scrub at QB the Texans would be an incredible team. This was a solid game though.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            That was indeed a solid game. I’m surprised at how the Cowboys have been able to pull it together as a team and Murray’s ability to move the ball.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            That was indeed a solid game. I’m surprised at how the Cowboys have been able to pull it together as a team and Murray’s ability to move the ball.

          • the Cowboys will still find a way to finish 8-8

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            NOOOOO!!!!! WHY BAILEY!!?? WHY?!!

  • JWG

    I’m not watching football tonight, because the Seahawks are playing tomorrow, and I don’t follow the NFL closely enough to have a ‘team’ that isn’t basically, more or less (except across a border), the “local” one.

    There isn’t a (BC) Lions game today. I’m pretty sure the CFL avoids Sunday games precisely because they know nobody would be paying attention given how many NFL games dominate the TV schedule. Although looking at the upcoming CFL-TV schedule it looks like there’s an Argos/Alouettes matchup on the 2nd. Not to mention the semifinals/finals and Grey Cup weeks are all tentatively set for Sundays. So it’s not exactly a ‘rule’.

    Anyway. “My” team (BC Lions as noted above) is really not doing well this Season. They lost (barely) to the Ti-Cats last night. And to the Stampeders last week. And the Argos the week before that. And their losses seem to get worse each week. But I’m sticking with it anyway.

    Once it’s clear they’re not in the semi-finals I’ll switch temporary loyalties, but I haven’t decided to whom yet…

  • Tennessee just blew the biggest lead in their team history so my Cleveland and Carolina picks were money. Atlanta was way off. Look for the Chargers at -7 and San Francisco at -6.

  • Death

    Is there going to be a whiff o’ the week next week? I have found a perfect song for it.

    • I think we’ll do whiff o’ the week next week (our schedule is a little crazy). If you wanna submit just email us and I’ll make sure W gets it. toiletovhell@gmail.com

  • Are the Chargers that good or are the Jets just THAT shitty?

    • FeelTheDarkness

      Jets are shitttttyyyy

  • JWG

    Total side note. I just found out that Fallujah & Archspire are playing here (in Victoria!) next weekend. So stoked already.

    Since it’s (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend, I wonder if I can pay the doorman with turkey…

  • Scrimm

    BOOOOO Pats!

  • crazytaco_12

    I’m a Vikings fan, but good lord, I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off at how horribly they got stomped on by the Packers. It was like watching some sort of black comedy more than a football game. The Seahawks should actually give me a good game to watch tomorrow.

    • I don’t know what the Vikes were thinking drafting Christian Ponder that high in the 2011 draft.

      • Scrimm

        Pretty unbelievable.

    • Scrimm

      Ditto. I gotta give em a little sympathy for all the bad luck with players but damn.

  • Xan

    Tomorrow’s listening itinerary: Artificial Brain, Pyrrhon, Incantation, and The Haunted. It’s going to be a good day.