The Monday Press: Batushka, Inter Arma, Viking Tours, and More!

1798
179
Share:

Welcome to the first edition of The Monday Press, a new news segment delivered by a man with a new name, but the same terrible opinions. My original name started as a thesis statement, one that would call people out on their misunderstanding of the world, but since that is needed less and less these days, as my environment has improved substantially, I decided to go with something less… accusatory. When you go on a hike, be sure to bring your Joaquin Stick!


Some crazy assholes took it upon themselves to make sure that Batushka (БАТЮШКА) were “banned from Russia” this weekend.


Inter Arma released a new single off their upcoming album Paradise Gallows, out July 5th. Don’t be confused by the colorful artwork; it is the same Inter Arma that we’re used to.


There are two viking-themed tours starting this month in the US, so be prepared to get plundered, then plundered again. Visigoth are on tour with Night Demon and Against the Grain. Amon Amarth are on tour with Entombed A.D and Exmortus. Amon Amarth also have a new touring drummer.

visigoth amon


Enslaved and Ne Obliviscaris will be touring Europe starting in September.

Enslaved


  • Rhapsody and Primal Fear are co-headlining a North American tour starting at the end of the month. The poster doesn’t say it, but I called each venue and currently none of them are allowing chainmail chaps to be worn. Check out the dates on their Facebook page.
  • One of my personal obsessions, the up-and-coming prog band A Sense of Gravity, have finished recording their sophomore album according to their Facebook page.
  • If you are anything like me, you like to vote on things, not because you like them, but because you desperately want something you hate to lose. Vote on the 2016 Golden Gods Awards.
  • A few weeks ago, the many-instrumented prog-rock band Thank You Scientist posted a teaser video for their new album. As far as I can tell, it’s basically impossible to link directly to the video, so find it somewhere in here.
  • Australian melo-death band Be’lakor announced their new album, Vessels,  that will be out June 24th. If you are unfamiliar with the band, this will be their first release since 2012.
  • In old people news, Judas Priest say they have an album arriving in early 2017, and a new Metallica album is “almost done,” and Overkill have a bunch of songs demoed for a new album.
  • Lord Vicar announced a release date of May 27th for their upcoming album, Gates of Flesh.

That’s all for this week, stay classy metal world.

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Guppusmaximus

    Umm, yea, the Russian Orthodox Church aren’t just “Some crazy assholes” and proves the point that if Religion is left unchecked that it isn’t just the Muslims that’ll fuck shit up for everyone…

  • Eliza

    Batushka getting banned from Russia is crazy. Just using certain motifs from traditional Orthodox music is not trying to offend. If anything, it is a way to show admiration and appreciation. Anyway, the new Inter Arma is AMAYZANGH!

    • ME GORAK KING OV CAVEMEN!!!
      • Eliza

        When they are really close to you, looking like a lion waiting to attack, this isn’t so funny.

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      I’m pretty sure Batsuhka doesn’t have admiration or appreciation towards the Orthodox Church.

      • COAL ROLL

        yeah I think that’s what Tertius said

      • Eliza

        Maybe not towards the ideology, but for the traditional artistic aspects. There are times when I despise the Orthodox Church way more than they do.

  • ME GORAK KING OV CAVEMEN!!!

    GORAK WANT SEE ENSLAVED & NE OBLIVISCARIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
    CAVE NOT IN EUROPE!!!!!!!!!!! : ( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Dubs

    I clicked that Golden Gods link to see what was in the running, but apparently you have to register to cast a vote. I don’t recognize any of the bands in the “best new band” category anyway.

    • Joaquin Stick

      I seriously have no idea how they choose nominees. Slayer for best international band? Huh?

    • EsusMoose

      I only recognized Black Queen, and that’s Greg Puciato’s depeche mode like band

    • I know Guac Jim is registering to vote for Cradle of Filth. Is his fav band from the UK.

      • it’s the edge that draws him in

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        “Best UK band”
        “Asking Alexandria”
        AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

    • Puciato’s side project is on there for “best new band”

    • more beer

      The choices there are as bad as the choices for president.

      • Ted Cruz may be the Zodiac Killer, but at least he’s not these dickbags.
        http://36.media.tumblr.com/2a07727ae317788f6c97273f1f770ef3/tumblr_ndyx1nXwYk1rdry9qo1_1280.jpg

        • GAH!™

          © 2016 CyberneticOrganism

          • CyberneticOrganism

            *cha-ching sound effect*

        • more beer

          Ted Cruz actually scares me more than these guys. But I am not even sure what these guys are supposed to be.

          • They’re ZaNy cIrCuS fReAkZ!

          • more beer

            Or guys who don’t know what a mirror is.

          • Phoenix of the House Tendies

            The real question is, do they know how magnets work?

          • more beer

            That’s a resounding NO!

          • SIMON UP IN THIS BITCH! <3

        • Eliza

          Someone somewhere with a circus fetish is mildly pleased by this band.

          • more beer

            Only this guy and thankfully he is dead.

          • Eliza

            There is literally no reason for this band to exist. There are even less reasons for them get recognition.

          • more beer

            I don’t even know who they are. But I agree.

          • Eliza

            That’s good. Never check them out.

          • more beer

            I would never check them out. In cases like this, I always judge a book by it’s cover.

          • Eliza

            I have a bad case of boundless curiosity, which brought me many satisfactions as well as many disappointments. You have to take the good with the bad.

          • sometimes curiosity takes you to something so funny, that it makes you appreciate your sense of curiosity that much more

          • more beer

            When I see a band done up like that. I always think they are trying to cover up the fact that they aren’t very good. I have said numerous times. I just like a band to come out and play some kick ass music. I don’t need all of the theatrics.

          • Eliza

            The theatrics can be entertaining, but only used live and adding to the music, not filling in blank spaces. Nevertheless, I agree.

          • yes there is, but it’s not a good one. commerce.

        • Rob M

          What the fucking fuck is that?…Its like Iron Maidens Eddie and Alice Cooper had a kid

          • Eliza

            Without all that’s good.

          • Rob M

            ..youre right, that should have been talentless kid

        • these guise look marketable!

          • Eliza

            All the edgy wannabes will adore them!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          who in the absolute fuck

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Metal Hammer and Kerrang are an embarrassment to this country.

    • Phoenix of the House Tendies

      Wait Golden Gods is still a thing?

  • COAL ROLL

    Wonder what Tertuis thinks of the Batushka news

  • Another new Ride For Revenge album this year. Those guys are Prolific.

    “-Just five months after the last album and without warning, Ride For Revenge offers you their sixth full album Thy Horrendous Yearning. Six new tracks plus very different and much longer version of the song “Sexual Rhythm Of Death”. All together 45 minutes of punishing, heavy, ear(th) shattering black metal hell.”

    • Eliza

      I like how the description at the end sounds. I’ll check this out.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Saw dat, and it was good.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm
    • Rob M

      Have never been able to get into that band…they just never seem to click for me

      • I can see why they wouldn’t click for some. I just really enjoy that downtuned, filthy-sludgy sound they have going on. To be honest though, I’m really only into their last 2 albums. A lot of the stuff before that I couldn’t get into.

        • Rob M

          I think I find them almost too minimalist in their approach. I keep waiting for it to do something and it never really does

          • I think that explains why they are so prolific.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Other news: Yes is announcing a US tour at 12 EST.

    • Nope.

      • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

        YES

      • CyberneticOrganism

        They changed their name?

        • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

          Nope.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I hope it comes near me.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Phrasing.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That is bad phrasing. I’m hoping that they go to my area.

    • COAL ROLL

      My father in law gave me some records yesterday and 90125 was in the crate

      • Eliza

        I love that album!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I have all the albums from Fragile to Big Generator on vinyl and a few on CD. I’m only missing the first two, the new one, Open Your Eyes and The Ladder when it comes to studio albums. Also, I’m missing Keys To Ascension 1 and 2

  • FYI guys, chainmail chaps are a health issue. Those chainmail links can cause little cuts and scrapes on bare bottoms, and we don’t want to risk the spread of disease or infection.

    chainmail chest pieces are still welcome, but be sure to wear the appropriate under garments!

    • COAL ROLL

      scabies

    • what about those with smaller rear-ends (i.e. Dubs)?

      • If your chain mail isn’t fitted and tightly gripping against your body, you are lacking adequate protection!

        If you have excess chain flapping around, you wouldn’t want it flapping under and cup checking you

        • Phoenix of the House Tendies

          Humph, chainmail is nothing. Try wearing a rubber chap with steel plating underneath. It rubs constantly and chaps when you’re running and flipping around shooting random people.

          • Sounds like a tactical turtleneck is more what you need, perhaps some kevlar and/or ceramic body armor?

      • Dubs

        Thanks for thinking of me, but I actually prefer plate mail to chainmail.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    I tried time and time again, but I just fail to see what the big deal is with Ne Obliviscaris (outside of their obvious talent).
    On the other hand, Enslaved >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • don’t give up on N.O. Link was making a few recs and it’s not easily digestible. but it rewards the listener if he/she makes a time investment.
      …at least that’s what he leads me to believe!

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I don’t mind “not easily digestible”. Quite some proggy metal bands are favorites of mine, but the feeling I have with Ne Obliviscaris is one of this…

        Picture you’re a woman (I know, not easy, but I can’t find any other analogy). You’re a single woman and you meet a man. The guy is handsome, muscular, intelligent, creative blablabla…all you wish for as a women. There’s only one huge problem: the guy has no balls, literally.
        Now I know I’m not a woman and while there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality I’m as straight as can be; but when I listen to metal I want music with some “oomph” (no, not that crap German band) and a pair of balls goddamnit!!

        • Eliza

          That is one strange analogy. But it works.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Imagine an African swallow is debating the specific point at which to grip a coconut by its husk. In this scenario, you are the swallow, the band you want to listen to is the coconut, and its presence (or lack thereof) of balls is the thickness of the husk. How do you go about making your decision? Think on this for a moment, and then we’ll get into the difference between gripping methods for European swallows and the absence of a husk for gripping efficiency. In that scenario, the band is the swallow, Batushka is the un-husked coconut and the tapir is the “oomph.”

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I am always the “oomph”

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Perfect! Good work sir!

        • i understand completely. raw power is sexier than diplomacy.

          • I’m going to crush civilization with my muscles and expansive virility.

          • spoken like a true man o war.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I did some bouncing work at a few bars some time ago. While diplomacy is certainly important, one cannot work without having a good dose of raw power.

      • Is one of those projects in which you cannot listen one song, only the full album. So, it’s not for everyday.

    • NeO is in my top 5 favorite bands right now. I hate you for 5 minutes.

    • Eliza

      Ne Obliviscaris is good as background music you listen while doing something else. I enjoy them a lot as that.

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    Got my tix to see Batushka next month. Is a good.

    Also, Vainaja played his last show as Horna’s drummer last week – opening for Profanatica’s only ever European show in Tampere, Finland.

  • thanks for the news roundup!
    i just need to book a flight and scoop up my favorite half-elf for one of those Enslaved/Ne Obliviscaris dates.

  • Thanks for this, Joaquin (also known as YourLogicIsFlushed, also known as sea turtles lover).

    I am interested in new Judas Priest. Redeemer of Souls wasn’t an all great album, but it had a pair of good songs. Also, new Be’lakor is good to keep the melodic sparkle alive.

    Man… I really wish to see Enslaved live.

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      I’m seeing them live in november.

      • Good! Hope you enjoy it!

        • Dave Vincent’s Perm

          I hope they play Slaget i Skogen Bortenfor.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Anyone who sympathises with religious extremists should be sterilised.

    • *sterilized
      FTFY

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        It’s almost as if different countries have different spellings.

        • Speak American

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            *drinks bud light and beats wife*

          • CyberneticOrganism

            THERE YA GO, BUDDY *rolls coal*

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            “HEY MELISSA, GO GET ME ANOTHER BEER, AND MAKE SURE IT’S COLD THIS TIME!”
            “Stupid bitch….”

          • Guppusmaximus

            That’s a specific part of America. Here in New England if your wife doesn’t make the Ziti right or gives you a warm beer, we just murder them. Speaking American isn’t always necessary… 🙂

          • Rob M

            I’ll be honest..New England is not the place I think of for Ziti

          • COAL ROLL

            jeez, every town everywhere here has like 5 mediocre Italian restaurants

          • Rob M

            Mediocre being the key word. I can get seafood in Idaho but its not what I think of when I think lobster

          • COAL ROLL

            ziti isn’t exactly a Michelin restaurant dish

          • Rob M

            Then youve never had good Ziti

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Could be a Michelin dish if done right. David Chang has several Michelin stars, and his place in NYC is 75% ramen noodle variations.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Over here you just have a lot of pizzerias. Mostly you can tell by the quality of the food which ones are primarily used for money laundering lol

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Just like when people think of NYC for pizza, instead of real pizza like Chicago’s.

          • Rob M
          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            In before all the “Chicago pizza is a fucking casserole” comments by angry New Yorkers who don’t know that casseroles have noodles.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            That’s everywhere, even here.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Obviously, this guy didn’t think so either 🙂
            http://www.celebrateboston.com/crime/burnt-ziti-murder.htm

          • Rob M

            Sometimes I think I expect too much from humanity

          • Guppusmaximus

            I guess it depends on what you expect. I usually expect the worse and it evens itself out. But, I’m a fucking cynical & skeptical asshole…

          • If I’m reading this correctly, HE burnt the ziti. What a cock.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Here we leave our newborns tied to the train tracks.

          • more beer

            Can’t you just leave them on the tracks? Tying them up just seems like overkill.

          • Guppusmaximus
          • Guppusmaximus

            That’s one solution to stop overpopulating the planet. /s

          • more beer

            No sometimes just acting American will do the trick.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yup…They don’t call’em Massholes for nothin’… LOL!!

          • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze

            People from Mass can’t drive for shit

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Or if she says “chowder” instead of “chowda”. Say it, Frenchy!

          • Guppusmaximus

            Time to die! *smirk*

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls
          • lol

      • Joaquin Stick

        Directions unclear, sent the pope some Purell.

  • Phoenix of the House Tendies

    I’m just glad to know that even if I miss Visigoth and teh Night Demon when they finally hit the Northeast, I can still see them in October.

    Also I want to hear Enslaved play As Fire Swept Clean the Earth and Queen of Night live damnit.

  • Stanley
    • COAL ROLL

      I can hear the bass in the mix

      • Stanley

        There is a lot going on in this song. Fast bits, slow bits, solos everywhere, one footed blasting, atmosphere, melody. Lots to enjoy.

        • i’ll definitely give it a shot ’cause artwork. i just hope they aren’t good at their instruments.

  • Rob M

    I dont think beating the holy shit out of people was exactly what Jesus had in mind when he was talking about spreading the word

  • BobLoblaw

    My biannual check on the SMN news forums has finally paid off after many years. I have a strong feeling wonderful things are on the horizon.
    http://forums.smnnews.com/showthread.php?t=253313

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Coincidentally I listened to “The Conductor’s Departure” again yesterday. I liked it better this time around.

      • BobLoblaw

        Awesome man.

    • BobLoblaw

      Wouldnt be a bad time for a toileteer to reach out to Frederik Schalin for one of those famous ToH coherent interviews…

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    And Aborted released a new video a couple days ago.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCGOyvfzd-U

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Sounds like Aborted alright. Once you’ve heard an Aborted album, you’ve heard them all. Still one of Belgium’s most popular metal bands.

      • yeah but i dig their sound. nice and sincere guys too! probably like you <3

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          Aborted’s always a blast live.
          I’m nice half of the time, but I’m basically always sincere.

  • tigeraid

    I have GOT to get to that Amon Amarth/Ex Mortus bill in Toronto somehow.

  • Owlswald
    • these songs are too short for Haken.

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        There’s a 15 minute song on the album, don’t worry.

        • do you like them now? great, gotta stop listening.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            What do you mean “now”?

      • Owlswald

        I actually don’t mind the length. I was more surprised with the Skrillex influence in this one.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Damn, I had no idea that Amon Amarth have a show in Dallas TOMORROW.

    • i HATE the pressure of finding out about a live show coming in 1-2 days. i was planning on smoking a lot of weed and watching Daredevil on those nights 🙁

  • Waynecro

    Psyched about Thank You Scientist and Be’Lakor. Thanks for the news, dude!

  • G’damn crazies ruining the fun for everyone. Batushka should tour the U.S where we are only slightly less crazy… maybe.