The Mailmanbro Cometh: Show Us Your Haul!

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Legend tells of a hero. A hero who will free us from the shackles of tyranny placed upon us by General Bethlehem. A hero who will teach a young Ford Lincoln Mercury to lead a broken and miserable people. A hero who will deliver hope in the form of a stamped parcel. This is that hero’s story.

Metalheads love their physical media. Whether it’s vinyl records, compact discs, or nearly defunct cassette tapes, the acquisition of tangible manifestations of the music we love is one of metal’s most time-honored traditions. If the stats are to be believed, this level of obsessive consumerism in metal circles shows no sign of slowing down, either.

One of the happiest moments for your standard metalhead, then, is when he or she finds a freshly delivered parcel in the mailbox, brought by none other than the legendary Mailmanbro. Mailmanbro’s myth grows weekly in the ToH Facebook group as he delivers more patches, CDs, stickers, and DVDs, always completing his transaction with a smile and a twinkle in his eye that reminds us that the void has not yet come. Mailmanbro is the hero Kevin Costner could only pretend to be, so it is with adoration that we are now dedicating a monthly post for you to show off all the wonderful treasures delivered to you by the kindly delivery savior.

I’ve bought very little physical media the last few months, so I can’t offer a picture of my own haul, but some of our elated readers were more than happy to contribute.

panoptpaglia

Mailmanbro helps Pagliacci build a battlejacket

ksl

Mailmanbro helps Fine Sexy Ladies requisition his groove

kitgrind

Mailmanbro helps Leif keep his nose to the grindstone

jason2

Mailmanbro enables Jack Bauer to go various shades of black

scrimm

Mailmanbro helps Scrimm celebrate his namesake

shirt

Mailmanbro delivers the lizard clothing AND human skin

12660441_10153428301028602_1687486392_n

Mailmanbro keeps it orthodox with Coal Roll

12650839_10153752462726154_601629502585101585_n (1)

Mailmanbro even punched in a very specific sequence of keys to traverse the realm of cyberspace to deliver joy to Dee Snarl

So, now’s your chance. Show us your hauls in the comments so we can be filled with covetous lust for the Mailmanbro’s package.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    I have more photo hauls from shows, and beer pairings than mail…..

    • Dubs

      Merchboothgal is pretty awesome too.

    • COAL GROHL

      Show it off bro!

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    First in…and I love getting me some stuff.

  • I got another W.A.S.P. tape Wednesday.

    • Spear

      Gotta find me a copy of Headless Children.

      • I have an extra tape somewhere if you want it. I have a mint original Canadian cassette and an original UK CD. (Don’t have that title on vinyl though and don’t really want it in that format. Too many quiet passages to deal with unless it’s a quiet flawless pressing.)

        • Spear

          I think I’ll take you up on that. I finally got a cassette deck, so I won’t have to go sit in my van if I want to listen to it.

  • I shoulda pulled the trigger on that Batushka LP.

    • Dubs

      I finally got the CD a couple weeks ago. I think it was right after I visited you, actually.

    • Spear

      Witching Hour still has it up on their web store, if you’re willing to brave the Polish moonspeak.

      • Dubs

        That’s part of the fun of using their site. Also, if you create an account, you get points. Supposedly you can use those points on a future purchase, but I’m not entirely sure how yet.

        • Spear

          It looks like they’ve got a sale going on for registered users right now, too.

          • Dubs

            Ayyyy

      • Dagon

        Moonspeak reminded me of the Crescent Moon things in Diablo 2. Those were the days.

        http://classic.battle.net/diablo2exp/images/items/delirium02.jpg

        • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

          *still are the days. ftfy

          you not play d3?

          • Dagon

            I did for a while the year it came out, but it never lived up to 2. I’m a nostalgic fuck.

          • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

            man, i thought the same thing, since i played 2 for so long.

            some of the things thyve done with it since it came out have made it a damn good game

          • Dagon

            For real?Like what? I might start playing something again once my schedule is more settled.

          • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

            well, i stopped playing before they instituted the nephalem rifts (timed dungeons) and the paragon system (point system after lvl 70). in the latest patch they introduced set dungeons, which are objective based dungeons for wearing 6 pieces of a set

          • Dagon

            The prize for beating the dungeon is getting a set or you need the full set to go into the dungeon?

          • Count_Breznak

            Path of Exile.
            D3 is a solid game, but a fucking awful Diablo.

          • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

            i used to agree. i dont anymore

    • COAL GROHL

      I can help you, they are sending me another by accident, I got the email tracking today

      • I’d way rather deal with you than the Polish site. What’s your price? BTW, going to the post office tomorrow to send your shirt and Sweet Tooth0’s patch

        • COAL GROHL

          I’m not paying for it, so just shipping cost. It may be a few weeks before it shows up. I’ll let you know when mailmanbro drops it off

  • Boss the Ross

    Damn, i dont have a lot of pictures of my latest mail hauls, which are coming more frequent this week and next.
    I can share this though. Lady Beast I&II i got last month. I’ll have to update after work.

    • Eliza

      Lady Beast, nice!

  • Scrimm

    Still trying to decide exactly what to do about painting the bust. My dogs are obsessed with it.

    EDIT: Again, eternal thanks to my Toilet brothers.

    • Eliza

      Don’t paint it! It looks fine the way it is.

      • Scrimm

        I wasn’t planning on it, but the sphere is a different color than the rest. I am thinking about just a solid color, maybe a white or grey so it looks like stone. I’ve seen it painted full color and I didn’t care for it as miuch.

        • Eliza

          I just noticed that too.

          • Scrimm

            I’ve seen that on resin busts before, for the simpler shapes like the sphere they use a different material. Kind of expected it.

        • sweetooth0

          Ultra high gloss metallic chrome it.

          • Scrimm

            That is not a terrible idea given the source material

  • I havent’ taken dumb selfies with the Warbringer and Misery Index vinyls a generous toileteer sent me for cheap

  • Dagon

    I didn’t buy anything, but the gentleman behind Escvro sent me this:

    • Dagon

      My hand looks like the forehead on a Sharpei.

      • Dubs

        That is a rather heavy-handed photo.

  • Maik Beninton™

    I would like to say that mailmanbro helped me get my ToH shirt, but he didn’t and kept on the post office until I came there and got it, asshole.

    • Dubs

      Mailmanbro helps those who help themselves.

      • Guacamole Jim

        Mailmanbro doesn’t help those who help themselves, for it defeats the purpose of Mailmanbro’s livelihood. He hates Maik now, hates him with a fiery passion that burns in his loins.

        • Maik Beninton™

          It’s probably because of my relationship with Torrentbro.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Torrentbro rarely does me wrong (except for that one torrent that somehow put malware on my computer that only changed my browser once in a blue moon, so it was really hard for me to catch. Torrentbro earned my wrath that day).

          • Torrentbro destroyed my old hard drive because I just HAD TO download software to try to chop and screw a Fleetwood Mac song at 2 AM.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Sounds like someone was cheating on Torrenbro with Mailmanbro! You cannot serve two masters, O Thrashnkill.

          • Maik Beninton™

            Never download anything other than mp3.

          • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

            this seems reasonable

          • Maik Beninton™

            I have Malwarebytes to protect me against that. And aside from some unsuccessful downloads, it rarely does me wrong.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Yeah, I’ve got it too, now. That one just kinda snuck into my computer when I was younger and didn’t rear its ugly head until later, which confused the hell out of me.

    • Dagon

      Same shit happened to me. Fuck the mailmandouche

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    I mostly get tee shirts in the mail these days. This came in the mail for me this week:

  • Kanye’s Booty Finger Sundae

    Sadly I got hit with a whammy from the Mailmanbro around Christmas, after my La Casa Al Mare shirt got lost in the mail (thankfully I got a refund). Lesson learned: NEVER order anything from overseas a week before Christmas.

  • Digital mailmanbro better have the new Magrudergrind available for DL when I get home or someone’s gonna get dealt with.

  • My most recent Haul…

    Satanic Warmaster – Strength and Honour, Nuclearhammer – Serpentine Hermetic Lucifer, Ouroboros – Invoking the Past, Min Kniv – Av Aske, Goatmoon – Voitto tai Valhalla, Diaboli – Invocation, Diaboli – Towards Damnation, Diaboli – Wiking Division
    Nigrummagia – Superlative Darkness, Hate Forest – The Most Ancient Ones, Xasthur – Telepathic with the Deceased, Kaevum ‎– Natur , Kaevum – Kosmos Erwache!
    Grifteskymfning ‎– Likpsalm, Clandestine Blaze – Deliverers of Faith, Sunchariot – Swirling Sunwheel Of Everlasting Life, Svetovid – Natures Fury

    http://i.imgur.com/9Og6HmX.jpg

  • Just signed a blood covenant with the mailmanbro

    He’s going to surprise me with new Vektor in a few months

  • Salvador Dalí Lama
  • Dubs
  • Salvador Dalí Lama
  • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

    what happens when mailmanbros post office gets defunded?

    do we then seek the deliverymanbro?

    • Then you will visited by Fed Exbro, DHLbro or UPSbro.

      • this was very funny. tis a shame it doesn’t have more upvotes.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Random hauls……..

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      That’s a thing of fucking beauty. Period.

      • I’m pretty proud of this one for sure. Just need that Black Murder demo.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          I only own the famous split on CD and War Funeral March on vinyl.

          • War Funeral March is a must have along with the split.

        • RJA

          Killer!, I have the vlad tepes/belketre split – I do not however have a copy of Vampires of Black Imperial Blood – you see that you give me a heads up if you remember.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Not even one color.

    • sweetooth0

      that is fucking mighty

    • COAL GROHL

      schwing

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Too much colour. Needs more black.

  • Lacertilian

    I have a young ex-drunk Detective to thank for sending that shirt.
    Toilet ov Kindness!

  • Eliza

    I’m so jealous of you guys and your stable income.

    • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

      yeah but waking up and knowing i have to work for the rest of my life is why people commit suicide.

      • Eliza

        Good point. That’s why I hope I’ll succeed as a writer.

        • Spear

          I’m just starting to get used to this stable income thing. What do you write?

          • Eliza

            Short stories in a notebook. I plan to start publishing only after I finish and my parents won’t be ok with sustaining my financially anymore.

          • Boss the Ross

            What genre?

          • Eliza

            Whatever I like. I don’t want to stick to just one genre.

          • Boss the Ross

            Okay, cool.

          • Spear

            That’s awesome! Mrs. Spear finished her first novel recently, but she’s starting to work on some short stories herself. They’re a little easier to get published, as I understand it.

          • Dubs

            That’s great!

          • Eliza

            I’d like to polish my abilities of wiritng short stories, then write an entire novel. Also, can I know that title of the book Mrs. Spear wrote?

        • Scrimm

          I really have to get back on the writing horse. I don’t know what happened I worked like a madman on it for years and overnight the drive just dissapeared.

          • Eliza

            I hear all the time that you need to be inspired to write, but I think that determination is just as, if not more important.

          • Scrimm

            I agree totally. I think I just burned myself out, I wrote two novel length peices back to back in a short time. Hope it’s only temporary.

          • Eliza

            Could you give me the names of those novels, please?

          • Scrimm

            Nothing published or anything, I just wrote them. Still in draft form. I haven’t tried to publish yet either.

          • Eliza

            I know that feeling of embarrassment when someone reads my work, but I think you should give it a try. You never know if it’ll become successful or not.

          • Dubs

            My wife has started writing poetry within the last year, and she’s really good. Her poetry is all based on the pain she sees in the hospital as a soon-to-be doctor, and it’s better than any poetry I’ve ever written.

          • Boss the Ross

            Damn, those must be really deep. And i mean that in the most respectable way.

          • Dubs

            I think it’s been good for her, too. You kind of get used to seeing horrible things regularly, but she was telling me about this lonely old man who hospitalized himself because he had been drinking 7 beers a day just because he was lonely. I think it bothered her more than some of the horrific injuries she’s seen.

          • Boss the Ross

            That’s heartbreaking.

          • Scrimm

            That could be an incredible source of inspiration.

          • Dubs

            I’m going to encourage her to stick with it, both because it’s good and because I think it’s good for her.

          • Scrimm

            It is I’m sure. who knows how far she could go with it.

          • Eliza

            I’d love to read them if it’s possible!

          • Scrimm

            Oh I plan too, I just need to get back to work and start rewriting the bastards. I have a third(older) one too that’s much further along, but I’d really like to get some short stuff out there first. Only problem is the longer stuff is easier for me than the shorter. Maybe when this recording is out of the way some of the drive will return. For shits and giggles the two I originally mentioned are titled 88 and Complex. The latter was actually my National Novel Writing Month project a couple years ago

          • Eliza

            Keep it and, who knows, maybe sometime in the future we’ll comment on each other’s books. That’ll be fun!

          • Scrimm

            Definitely! Anytime.

          • well said Eliza

        • COAL GROHL

          Can you write about metal you like for us?

  • ME GORAK B.C.™
    • Ordered this vinyl. Should be here soon.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        VINYL COOL, BUT ME NOT BUYING 4 NOW TIL HAVE MORE SPACE TO KEEP!!! IF YOU NOT GET DISC 2 CONTENT U MISSING NOTHING BTW!!!

  • I bought this from Digital mailmanbro this morning. Some badass sludgy hardcore reccommended by Charles from HUSH.
    https://thebandisclover.bandcamp.com/album/vultures

  • Boss the Ross

    I think Tyree is officially “Haul Master of the Toilet”

    • Maik Beninton™

      It’s not a haul, it’s a library.

      • Boss the Ross

        His hauls add to the immense library.

    • Lacertilian

      HELLYEAH ‘Haulin
      #GETCHAPULL #SDMF #GIFD BLEED BLACK etc.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBaIQreV8Yk&app=desktop

      • CyberneticOrganism

        ‘KEM AWN…

        #crownroyal #dimewahpedal

  • First mailmanbro haul in a long time. Mithras T shirt straight from the UK (came with stickers and buttons too)

    Livver shirt (bought at a show yesterday and mailman’d to myself) and Livver “Fuck You, Pay Me” LP. Boytone record player came in the mail yesterday. Ehnahre “Douve” CD from Kathexis in Boston.

    Mailmandudebro has yet to drop off

    Primitive Man / Northless split 12″
    Chthe’Ilist “Le Derniere Crepuscule” CD
    Ketzer “Starless” black LP
    Pyrrhon “Growth Without End” (been waiting for months and still haven’t gotten it, talked to Doug and if I still don’t have it by May he’s just gonna give me one at the show lol)

    • Lacertilian

      FAKE!
      These aren’t your pics, no stoop.. busted.

      • Dubs

        I think you mean futon and vaping.

        • Lacertilian

          His futon is on the stoop. That’s why it’s so comfortable.

  • ULTRA RARE BLACKBEARD

    props to Dee Snarl for picking up that Dekadent album. im afraid that album didnt hit it off the way they thought it would.

  • sweetooth0

    Last thing I got:

    • Scrimm

      Might have to grab that up myself when I get a chance.

    • Boss the Ross

      You got a life size model of yourself?!?

  • God ov War

    Bless the mailmanbro

  • Scrimm

    Not exactly a haul, but the only other thing Mailmanbro and has brought me lately, with some help from amazongiftcardbro. Dog was not part of the deal.

  • Boss the Ross

    Does Recordstorebro count?

  • Dubs

    So, uh, has anyone here actually seen The Postman? Not Costner’s shining moment.

    • Scrimm

      I have, unfortunately.

      • Dubs

        I always think of it as that mailman movie with the guy from Remember the Titans.

        • Scrimm

          I just rmember Tom Petty being in it.

  • Dental_Damnation

    Costner looks jacked in that photo. I would not fuck with that mailmanbro.

    • hey DD, good to see you here!

      • Dental_Damnation

        Good to be back, I’m going to try and visit more often, my new job doesn’t have me at a computer anymore

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    The mailman is supposed to have a copy of Blow Up Your Video by ACDC for me. I hope it gets here soon.

  • COAL GROHL

    Mailmanbro bestoweth

  • Heliocrat

    Latest haul.

    • Dubs

      That’s a lot of Satan

      • Heliocrat

        hail (or something to that effect)

      • CyberneticOrganism

    • Flesh Cathedral & Henbane >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      HAIL!

      • Heliocrat

        DsO was an acquired taste for me. Absolutely growers.

      • Lacertilian

        Do you know anything about an upcoming Svartiđaudi release?

        • No man, it’s pissing me off though not knowing.

        • Heliocrat

          Considering they released that EP last year, I wouldn’t hold my breath at least until 2017 or even later. I remember Ole from Terratur mentioning something to that effect.

          • Lacertilian

            Was it only last year?
            Damn. I was looking forward to the prospect of maybe a Sinmara or Svartidauđi release this year.

          • Heliocrat

            I’m pretty sure Sinmara are working on a new album, so there’s that possibility!

    • RJA

      Very nice! Have all of those except the Cultes Des Ghoules and I am jealous.
      My last hall was a bunch of Ancient Rites records – Beketh Nexehmu, Summom, Dodfodd.

  • Heliocrat

    Bonus: this one I got a few months back thanks to the toilet.

    • Been meaning to pick this up.

    • RJA

      God I love that cover! So ridiculous and awesome.

    • Óðinn

      A toilet that gives you Metal cassettes. That’s the best.

  • Waynecro

    Thanks, mailmanbro!

    • Boss the Ross

      And signed? Solid

    • brooooooooo i love this band. have you seen them live? have you met the dudes? super nice!

      • Waynecro

        I can’t remember if I’ve seen them live. I may have. I often forget some of the bands I’ve seen because I was really, really drunk when I saw them. I forgot that I saw Zyklon until I stumbled upon a photo of me and Samoth years later. Abysmal Dawn sent this signed, limited-edition clear record because I contributed to their recent crowdfunding campaign.

        • ah, noice! you’ve contributed to a stellar album.
          i met those bro’s one night after a St. Louis show… then several months later i ran into Charles Elliott at a big show in Cleveland and he remembered me! couldn’t believe it

          • Waynecro

            That’s awesome! I think they’re coming to my town pretty soon, but I don’t think I can get to that show. We’ll see.

          • well odds are in your favor either way: cause they A) like to open for a lot of high-profile bands and B) aren’t too big yet so they’re constantly touring. was/is there a Cannibal Corpse/Obituary/Abysmal Dawn date near you?

          • Waynecro

            Yeah, that tour hits San Diego March 10, which is a Thursday. The venue is a pain in the ass to deal with too. I hate trying to find parking downtown.

          • damn.

  • Dubs

    Oh, I wrote this post a little bit ago, so I didn’t add this in, but I got Terminal by Salome and Le Dernier Crepuscule by Chthe’ilist last night.

    • Heliocrat

      Terminal is godly.

      • Dubs

        Very pleased to have it.

    • Boss the Ross

      Solid, I’m glad you got it.

  • Heliocrat

    I’ve been looking for a black metal band that used gregorian chants extensively for a while. Really couldn’t get into Batushka though. Those vocals are so shitty IMO (not the chants).

    • Check out Kaevum ‎– Natur. There are some gregorian chants through out it.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlPxdNEoq-E

      • Around 4:50 is the first instance.

      • COAL GROHL

        thank you

      • Heliocrat

        Thanks dude! Digging this!

        • Awesome! This album has been in heavy rotation this week.

      • Stanley

        I got this on vinyl today.

        • NICE! I only have the CD.

    • Heliocrat

      Might have to give Batushka another try though. The idea on paper its just so attractive to me.

      Next up: Black/death/Doom metal mixed in with Tibetan chants.

      • Boss the Ross

        Tibetan throat singing is the best.

        • Heliocrat

          Yes it is! Been on a huge kick for that stuff for a while.

          • Boss the Ross

            I have a cd with a few chants, i try and sing along

      • Dubs

        Blood of Kingu is the best I’ve found.

        • Heliocrat

          Any album in particular? Never really checked those guys out.

  • Boss the Ross

    We should do this post once a month.

    • Dubs

      That’s the plan

      • Boss the Ross

        Yes!

      • COAL GROHL

        The idea for this was not just to show off, but also kinda a way to show the metal community as a whole that we here are taking our little community recommendations seriously and spending money to support the bands. This is more compelling than any media kit, or market research, this is cold hard proof that aligning with the toilet can result in real tangible sales. What better value proposition? I think this is a great brand-builder for TovH.

  • EsusMoose

    After 4 months of waiting, I finally got my New Bermuda preorder on a sweet green translucent vinyl. I thought Mailmanbro was a myth but now I know they’re real. I’d post a picture but the picture size I took of it is too large for disqus

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Camera battery in the charger at the mo but my most recent pick ups were the Considered Dead/Erosion of Sanity twofer (Gorguts), plus Those of the Unlight and La Grande Danse Macabre (Marduk). Good times…

  • All hail glorious mailmanbro! We are not worthy!

    • Lacertilian

      My mailmanbro is a lady.
      Hail mailwomanbros of the world too.

  • Boss the Ross

    Spirits – Discontent
    One of the coolest vinyl packages I’ve ever seen.

    • COAL GROHL

      Nice!

  • Boss the Ross

    Some CDs

    • Boss the Ross

      And a Masta Killa vinyl

      • is this the album, of which they made only one copy?

        • Boss the Ross

          Hahahahahaha, i wish.

  • BigTasty

    New Alterbeast shirt and Fallujah poster this week, also bought a bunch of Bandcamp stuff last week including new Obscura and Hyperion

    • I love that Fallujah artwork.

      And those bro-shorts too.

      • BigTasty

        Ya gotta stay comfy!

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    Last haul from mailmanfoe.