The Lucky Charms The Furbies.
Music videos seem to gravitate towards either the performance (live clips or pantomiming in an empty warehouse, etc) or some sort of concept-based story. Both styles fall on the good-to-bad spectrum. Performance-based videos can show the band’s skill or intensity while the story-based videos can entertain or evoke emotions and feelings intended by the director. On the flip side, the music videos of bands playing can be somewhat bland and generic and the ones with stories can come off as convoluted or unintentionally funny. It’s a fine line to walk.
The Charm The Fury is a Dutch metalcore (well, they used to be) band that have been around since 2010. After a stint on Lifeforce Records, TCTF have now made their way to the Nuclear Blast family. Like many of you, this video is my first introduction to the band. Let’s see where on the music video spectrum this one falls.
0:01: Man, I could really go for some chocolate.
0:04: Ewwww, bugseses!
0:06: I’ve heard the term “Up against the ropes” but this one is new to me. Maybe it’s a translation thing?
0:09: That belt is actually a step up from the Nerds Rope he used to wear around his waist.
0:12: I see he’s gone to the Old Country buffet again.
0:14: That’s either BBQ sauce or that thing on his back finally popped.
0:19: It’s nice that he can laugh at his diabetes.
0:23: The People Of WalMart.
0:28: Stranger Danger!
0:35: This video is sponsored by Skoal, NASCAR, and spousal abuse.
0:43: “I wash myself with a rag on a stick!”
0:49: Taking off his belt emits the same sound as an airbag going off.
0:55: American Beauty meets The Gathering Of The Juggalos.
1:03: “If she’s there, then who is gunna butter up the folds of my neck?”
1:10: That’s the most he’s moved in 20 years.
1:18: If anything, the flailing hair acts as a nice fan for his sweaty butt cheeks.
1:24: Mr. Clean’s younger brother, Tucker Clean.
1:36: Soooo is this what the Dutch think of America?
1:43: I mean they’re not completely wrong, but come on, we have feelings!
1:46: They nailed us on our love of hideous pants.
1:57: Police car provided by the 1980s.
2:01: In Flames just had to ruin their mascot too, didn’t they?
2:07: How has Budweiser or Hardee’s not bought all the rights to this video yet?
2:13: Taylor Momsen!
2:17: That awkward moment when someone walks in on you watching a The Charm The Fury video and you have to quickly shut your laptop.
2:27: The music isn’t bothering him, he’s just dealing with gallstones.
2:33: We’re a ball-busting scene away from this video ending up in a sexually-repressed business executive’s password-protected “Downloads” file.
2:44: Requirements for being an extra: Must have filthy clothes and long, luxurious hair.
2:53: Hey, fellas, her eyes are up there.
3:00: I’m guessing there’s no actual ropes in this video.
3:04: Mmmmm! Tastes like Church’s Chicken!
3:09: Do you wanna plug your instrument in or…?
3:18: See, kids? Smoking kills. Stick with harmless chewing tobacco instead.
The Charm The Fury’s new album The Sick, Dumb & Happy is out March 17th, 2017 via Nuclear Blast Records.