The Best Band in Utah is Disforia

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Disforia - The Age of Ether

Back in August 2014 we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions and slaying thousands of posers with the true steel of unsigned glory, we have found our pick from the most latter day state of America. The best band in Utah is Disforia.

HAIL, WARRIORS!

I have gathered us here in the hall today to officially proclaim the warriors of Disforia to be the mightiest unsigned heroes of Utah! For those of you who are false and are normally denied entry to the hall (which is most of you,) you are hereby allowed temporary entry while we celebrate the victory of progressive power metal. For those of us who are true, we will be serving hors d’oeuvres and shrimp cocktails once the posers leave.

Disforia wield a blade forged in the duel fires of progressive and power metal. Their debut album, The Age of Ether, (which I wrote about last year,) twists into a dirge capable of delighting both fans and haters of power metal. Their debut exudes sincerity, a bit of depression, and, most blatantly, sci-fi. The lyrics of singer John Yelland tell the story of two characters in a dying world who seek survival, existential meaning, and purpose. The music and lyrics support each other in a way few bands can achieve, building an entire universe for the listener and populating it through vivid musical and lyrical imagery all while moving the plot forward in both storylines. Guitarists Chad Anderson and Dayton Anderson, as well as key-master Austin Bentley, work together as musicians with John as if one mind.

Together, these warriors are an indisputably powerful force. To ensure that all before them are slain in the grandest of fashions, however, they teamed up with some of earth’s mightiest heroes. On “Lunar Sunrise,” Brittney Slayes of Unleash the Archers lends her enchanted voice to the chorus in a very impressively blended and high harmony with John. As if her might combined with Disforia’s isn’t already overwhelming enough, they were able to recruit possibly the most powerful power metal vocalist in existence: Hansi Kürsch of Blind Guardian. On the pen-ultimate track, “The Dying Firmament,” Hansi loans his power to tell of stars across the sky blinking out as billions of years pass and the march of time steadily overtakes the universe.

As for 2015, Disforia recently released a great cover of the Blind Guardian track “When Sorrow Sang.”

Though my voice carries much weight, I am but one voice among many in this congregation. Hear, O brothers, what your fellow warriors of the porcelain throne have to say about this band:

“This band last record is a perfect example of Power Metal made good. Sometimes complex and progressive, sometimes just skull shatterer metal; Disforia could shine with a tight musicianship, giving emphasis in a delicate song construction. The synths, along with some harmonized guitars doesn’t obstruct the way of the vocals (or even the growls). Good delivering of Power Metal made with sweat and enthusiasm” – Link

“Power metal is always cheesy, but this is no Kraft Single slice of cheese. This is a fine Gruyere, with fragrant aromas and depth of character. Shit’s nice.” – HessianHunter

You can support Disforia by granting them a like on Facebook and buying their music on bandcamp.


The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.

Previous winners:

Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas
Colorado – The Sleer
Connecticut – Autumn’s Eyes
Delaware – Sloss
Florida – Capracide
Georgia – Lost Hours
Hawaii – Darkest Path
Idaho – Rotten Hand
Illinois – Deus Ex
Indiana – Thorr-Axe
Iowa – Blizzard at Sea
Kansas – Bummer
Kentucky – Ad Infinitum
Louisiana – Withering Light
Maine – Sylvia
Maryland – Bereave
Massachusetts – Scaphism
Michigan – Blackgate
Minnesota – Noble Beast
Mississippi – Jared Moran (Yzordderrex/Uzumaki)
Missouri – Existem
Montana – Martriden
Nebraska – Borealis
Nevada – Elephant Rifle
New Hampshire – Eerie
New Jersey – Black Table
New Mexico – Void Ritual
New York – HUSH.
North Carolina – The Seduction
North Dakota – Gorgatron
Ohio – Prize the Doubt
Oklahoma – Cottonmouth
Oregon – Drouth
Pennsylvania – Burden
Rhode Island – Eternal Khan
South Carolina – Solaire
South Dakota – Jelly Nutz Justoner
Tennessee – Forest of Tygers
Texas – Peasant

  • Maik Beninton™

    #Don’tBanRandall.

    • u can’t stop me

        • ……………………………………no

          • Pretending to be hard and trve will only cause you grief, friend.

            GL

          • I am soft and false. Let’s lay down in traffic together.

          • As long as you are OK with us playing “I’m the One” by Van Halen while we do so.

            GL

          • I am NOT OKAY with that. But let’s do it anyway.

          • You are a tough nut to crack, Richter.

            GL

          • I am the eggman. I am the seahorse. Cockadoodledoo.

          • Le Tapir The Based

            You don’t have to be hard and trve to know that Suicide Silence sucks.

          • I coming to find you.

          • Le Tapir The Based

            Not if I find you first.

          • Well that make my search faster then, wouldn’t it?

          • Le Tapir The Based

            It won’t be easy with a knife in your abdomen.

          • Easy? No. Luckily for me it takes days to die of a gut wound. Wasting time with medieval weapons was your first mistake…

          • Le Tapir The Based

            I don’t want to kill you GL. You complete me.
            *Joker laugh*

          • Le Tapir The Based

            I h8 u so much

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I agree with you for some odd reason.

      • Maik Beninton™

        • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

          Please tell me Masterlord and Randall didn’t get their names from Dungeons and Dragons, Magic, or whatever nerd card game this is?

          • Maik Beninton™

            I made that card myself, and as to Randall Thor, I think it comes from this. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rand_al%27Thor

          • yup

          • Masterlord got his name from an enchanted fairy elf.

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck
          • KJM

            I can’t even watch this movie because I find that character so gods damned annoying.

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            I’m pretty sure a lot of people feel the same way as you.

          • Disgustache

            I grew up two hours from where they filmed it. I can confirm that this is how people actually are in Idaho.

          • KJM

            An enchanted faerie elf who was the product of an unholy union between Man & Dragon.

          • Hubert

            That’s Yugioh Tyree, not Magic.

          • banned

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck
          • Hubert

            You can tell by the Attack/Defence stats on the bottom right of the card being very high numbers in Yugioh, while Magic mostly keeps it to lower, single-digit numbers. Hope that helps

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            Jee, Thanks.

          • I have bitching Dragon/Elf deck. We should play, bro. lol

          • Disgustache

            This has probably already been said, but I’m saying it anyways for the fact that I’m too lazy to scroll down and read the rest of your neckbearded blackmetal comments, and the fact that I have to defend my nerdery.

            Randall Thor is a play on the name Rand al’Thor from the book series the Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. Rand al’Thor is the Dragon Reborn, destined to fight B’alzamon, the Father of Lies. It’s pretty fucking epic, but it sold more than 500 copies and isn’t available in vinyl, so I don’t think you’d buy it.

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            I don’t think I mentioned any black metal in this post. Sorry, if I offended you.

          • Disgustache

            Oh no offense at all. I love bleak winters, but since you were stereotyping my interests, I had to stereotype yours.

            Can we still be friendzz? <3

          • YOU CAN BE MY FRIEND WARRIOR

          • Disgustache

            The Light illumine you.

          • Long days and pleasant nights.

            wait

          • Disgustache

            Are you a Darkfriend?

          • Is everything a dark friend to you, white cloak?

          • Disgustache

            Only a Darkfriend would answer in such a manner as to avoid the question. Speak true, or be cut down!

          • Whitecloak logic:

            “My dinner was bad. Wife must be a darkfriend.”

            “Weather sucks today. Weather is a darkfriend.”

            “Line is too long. Everyone ahead of me is a darkfriend.”

            “Son got a B in math. Son is a darkfriend.”

          • J.R.

            “…I’d name you Darkfriend as well, but I suspect that the Dark One would perhaps be embarrassed to associate with you”
            -Egwene, TGS

            Bout woke my whole house up with my OOOOOOOHHHHH SHIT

          • john

            >Implying The Wheel of Time isn’t the coolest shit ever.

          • J.R.

            It probably is the coolest thing ever. I need to re-read it all again since its finally done. I’m excited for the Encyclopedia coming out later this year!

      • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom
        • wow

          • Throbbing Fart Thong Of Doom

            Yep, she is indeed a hottie.

  • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

    There is far to much weeb and power metal happening today. Smoke. Drink. Die.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHowqKYSXNI

  • Their album was one of my favorite power metal releases last year.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    That bass tone is teh tits

  • KJM

    OT: Already working on new stuff? Damn!

    https://twitter.com/MonolordSweden/status/620996310288728065

  • this is the kind of band that helps me get into power metal. thx Randall!!

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      Jimmy plz! The only good power meyal is Manilla Road!

      • Le Tapir The Based

        Good power metal is an oxymoron.

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          No it isnt. Manilla Road is so good!

          • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

            Manilla Road is good.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Everyone should love Manilla Road.

        • Die, false one

          • Le Tapir The Based

            Nö.

    • xoxo

  • Rebecca (Tyree) Buck

    New Lana Del Rey song.

    Whatever, I love her voice. Haunting and seductive. She does come off as a huge cunt most of the time though. All well.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=214&v=oPU8XJcA__k

  • Disgustache

    I’m surprised this band hasn’t gained more traction, what with everyone spreading the word about them and all.

    http://davis.photo/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/AF-23-1600×1280.jpg

  • JW(E)G

    This is shocking to me, based on my limited knowledge of America generated mainly from postcards and social media. There’s something other than Mormons in Utah!

    • KJM

      Salt Lake City is a cool place. It’s the Austin of Utah as far as I can tell.

      • JW(E)G

        Fair enough. Austin is on my list of places to visit when I can, so I suppose that says I should add SLC.

        • com 2 austin

          • how was Seattle?

          • Pretty! Weather was good too. Mariners fans are fucking dillholes though. They must be salty because they haven’t won their division in 15 years.

          • Sweet apples. Yeah, them Mariners… I have heard the place is beautiful.

          • CT-12

            If you ever come out, hit up you’re boy CT-12, he’ll show you around.

          • As a Yankee fan, I’m happy they dropped $240M on Robinson Cano. Fans must love that move.

          • CT-12

            He sometimes has his moments, but generally it seems like the dude is getting paid $240 million to chew gum on the plate.

          • Yeah, he was signed to be an MVP type player for them but that’s not really the type of player he is. Lots of talent but not the kind of guy who’s going to carry a team for a few games.

          • CT-12

            Dude, dah fuck?! Shoulda hit me up man, would’ve shown you some cool shit. Also, watch your fucking mouth about the Mariners (nah, just kidding, we fucking suck and I can’t stop crying about it)

          • I had a very limited amount of time, unfortunately. Went out for a job interview and only had one free day.

          • CT-12

            Hahaha, it’s all good man; hopefully you get the job so I can pester you to hangout in the flesh!

        • Dubzlinger

          SLC is pretty rad

        • CT-12

          Austin is fun as fuck. Been there the last 2 years of the Housecore Horror Fest, had more fun last year just checking out downtown Austin. You should go.
          Also, you live in Vancouver right? Because if that’s the case, I live fairly close to the border in WA (meaning, we should meet up sometime). If you’re ever in WA, hit me up.

          • JW(E)G

            I’m in Victoria.

            I just post a lot more about the scene in Vancouver because I found myself having to go there to intercept any of the big touring artists. This year with the efforts of a local university-based metal club (though not limited to UVIC students) that’s changing in a big way, though.

            Same difference, though. I really want to get down to Seattle for a gig some time before the Summer runs out, as it’s actually technically about the same travel time and slightly less expensive to overnight. I’ll let you know if I figure anything out that works with my schedule.

          • CT-12

            Cool man! Also, there are some cool shows coming to Bellingham that would be considerably less travel time for the both of us (I live way closer to Bellingham than Seattle). Christian Mistress, Sabbath Assembly, Slough Feg, Locrian, and Castle are all coming up before the end of August if any of those bands interest you; Chelsea Wolfe in October (if you dig her). Check out the Shakedown’s website for more info. http://www.shakedownbellingham.com/calendar/

          • CT-12

            Also, there’s a theater in Tacoma that plays sweet old horror movies from time to time, Videodrome is coming up soon. https://www.facebook.com/FridayNightFrightsTacoma

    • Disgustache

      A few fun facts about Utah for you and everyone else:

      Salt Lake City has the worst air quality in the USA, and one of the highest depression and suicide rates due to the air quality.

      Utah is less than 50% Mormon now.

      Utah has the most porn downloads in the country.

      • KJM

        Damn, my friend left out that little detail about the air.

      • JW(E)G

        I feel like all three of those points are somehow related.

      • Dubzlinger

        That sort of surprises me about the air quality. They have decent public transportation there.

        • I can’t believe it would beat out LA or Houston.

          • Disgustache

            California has clean air laws, so the air is much better. Utah could give a fuck. About the air and it’s population’s well being both.

          • KJM

            People who think large corps are too regulated should spend a week breathing the air in Beijing. My landlord goes there a lot on business and says it’s horrible.

          • Disgustache
          • KJM

            My landlord is a bicyclist/hiker type so it pisses him off even more than normal, but that’s fucking insane. How do people manage to stay alive breathing that crap?(rhetorical question of course)

          • Le Tapir The Based

            Goddamn commie hippie landlord!

        • Disgustache

          It’s due to the geography. The mountains act as a barrier, and so all the chimney smoke etc. just sits above the lake and like Gandalf, does not allow it to pass. That’s the same reason that there is always snow in the mountains like 1 mile from town, but there is hardly any snow in the city proper. Fucked up weather thanks to the great Salt Lake.

          • That Gandalf reference was trill

          • Disgustache

            Shoot gurl. I try to keep my references as fresh and my Jordans and also Will Smith.

          • Dubzlinger

            Que interesante

          • Jormungandr

            Inversion is a mother fucker.

      • Le Tapir The Based

        Suicide and depression? Is Utah USA’s Finland?

        • Dubzlinger

          Nah, that’s Oregon.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            What about Florida?

          • Dubzlinger

            That’s just the home of dad rock.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            No it isn’t. It’s the home of insane people. Dad rock exists everywhere.

        • Disgustache

          Sort of, but with way less hotter and way more overweight women.

      • It is also where the NSA’s super computer that tracks your every move is housed.

    • SubRosa is from Utah, so the state gets a pass.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjo-aE8PIGQ

    • Disgustache

      Also, SLC had this movie made about it, which was fucking titties.

      http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51W2KTK97PL.jpg

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=micQ8xOAUH8

  • OldMetalHead

    Hmmm. Nice, but no honorable mentions?