The Best Band in Oregon is Drouth

Share:

Back in August 2014 we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions and calling each other lots of names, we finally narrowed down our pick for the most lumbersexual state in the union. The best band in Oregon is Drouth.

In ages past, the land of Oregon was held in dominion by a mighty race of fierce and loyal wargs guided by the benevolent Shaman King, reigning from his metal throne in Portland. All was in balance. The brave warriors lived among the trees and tended to the needs of the Earth. Harvests were plentiful. Mead flowed. Beards were thick, and honor was law.

Then, a prophet from the South, wearing a deep v-neck with a Bad Moon emblazoned on the chest, arrived in Portland. Though he swore fealty to the Shaman King, he secretly set his black-framed-spectacled eyes on the metal throne. One day, when the king was at sup, carousing with his wargs after a glorious victory, the False Prophet slew the king, chortling with a smug self-indulgence that he was simply being ironic. It was then that the be-flanneled, false-chinned usurpers he had smuggled into the kingdom by way of fixed-gear carriages attacked the warg army. Though the valiant wargs fought ferociously, they ultimately succumbed to the overwhelming hoards of copy-cat individuals wielding ham-fisted gauntlets of irony. The False Prophet then established his kingdom of North Austin, reigning over the blasphemously rechristened Portlandia with an iron fist of pretense. He established control of his kingdom, and his craven servitors to this day grow beards to hide their weak chins and to fool the true into inaction.

But the usurper’s terrible reign would only last for a time and half a time. The surviving wargs had fled to the underground dungeons and secret fortresses in the neighboring kingdom of Washington, and on the blackest night, several wargs in the shape of ravenous wolves slunk into the throne room and slew the false emperor where he sat in languid repose. A great blow was struck that day for the Shaman King’s metal hoards, but the battle rages to this day. Courageous wargs carry on the traditions of the elders in secret whilst waging secret campaigns from the shrouded depths of obscurity.

Chiesfst amongst these champions of truth and justice are Drouth, a band of four black metal magicians from the dark underbelly of Portland. These five skinwalkers use cunning and guile to confuse their enemies before devouring them alive to quench their insatiable thirst for the blood of the false. Each warrior has spent a lifetime honing his skills for use with a particular instrument of war: the guitars are as sharp and barbarous as a flayer’s knife, severing enemies limb from limb; the rhythm section pummels with the discipline of the tightest d-beat unit, reducing enemies’ bones to powder; and the lupine shrieks instill the night itself with terror, creating panic and disarray. Though each members is himself a force of fury, together they weave, long, grueling, arcane spells that decimate all opposition and enchant even the most cowardly to rally to their side. The band has established its firm might and mystic dominance through a campaign spanning multiple albums, but the blood-letting will never cease until the heretics are cast from the kingdom.

You may find Drouth’s names writ in the glorious Book of Loyal Faces, and you may find their arcane paeans being sung at the Camp of Bands. But this is only one version of the tale, so hark what my fellow bards have to say:

Dagon: I would have never thought Drouth was an unsigned band had I listened to them by chance. These guys write music like they’ve been together for decades, with undeniable chemistry and character. It seems like they take the best elements of my favorite metal bands and combine them into their own blend of groovy, melodic black metal that includes searing guitar leads and absolutely horrendous shrieked vocals. Oh, the drumming is also out of this world. Around the 6:30 mark of “Vast, Loathsome” I had to put on a c-collar to prevent my spine from snapping. This is the real deal.

Simon Phoenix: Oregon; end destination of one of the world’s most famous natural trails, and one of the four major growers of hazelnuts in the world. Apparently it also houses some kickass metal. Portland black metal foursome Drouth may not carry the experience or pedigree of their neighbors, the almighty Agalloch. But they share a penchant to make vast and powerful metal rife with atmosphere, melody, and emotion. Drouth come a little more aggressive than Agalloch though, and have a tasteful dose of groove in their tremolo filled pallet that makes them stand head and shoulders above many of their Cascadian brethren. They may not be big yet, but they damn well should be.

Other Valiant Warriors:

Dolven: Medieval doom.

Attic: Weird death forever.


The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.

Previous winners:

Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas
Colorado – The Sleer
Connecticut – Autumn’s Eyes
Delaware – Sloss
Florida – Capracide
Georgia – Lost Hours
Hawaii – Darkest Path
Idaho – Rotten Hand
Illinois – Deus Ex 
Indiana – Thorr-Axe
Iowa – Blizzard at Sea
Kansas – Bummer
Kentucky – Ad Infinitum
Louisiana – Withering Light
Maine – Sylvia
Maryland – Bereave
Massachusetts – Scaphism
Michigan – Blackgate
Minnesota – Noble Beast
Mississippi – Jared Moran (Yzordderrex/Uzumaki)
Missouri – Existem
Montana – Martriden
Nebraska – Borealis
Nevada – Elephant Rifle
New Hampshire – Eerie
New Jersey – Black Table
New Mexico – Void Ritual
New York – HUSH.
North Carolina – The Seduction
North Dakota – Gorgatron
Oklahoma- Cottonmouth
Ohio – Prize the Doubt

(Photo VIA)

  • Drouth rules. As does North Austin, dick.

    • The view from above my television to confirm:

      • The W.

        lul

      • Disgustache

        Your apartment reminds me of the time I lost my virginity: sad and underwhelming.

        • Yep. Aside from a few piles of books and records, I live a pretty spartan lifestyle.

          • Tyree

            Records, CD’s, Dvd’s, band posters, band shirts, band patches, beer, food (some), tv, drum kit, turn table, and a bed/couch. That’s about what my home consists of.

            http://byt.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/tumblr_lpac912R9Z1qzz31no1_500.jpg

          • JW(E)G

            I just wspent way too long looking through a Google Image search for a pretty (enough) ‘Spartan’ for a throw-away pun.

            YMMV on whether or not I could have just stopped at Gerard Butler-as-Leonidas…

  • Tyree
    • You have contracted dysentery.

      • I can’t wait for a The Venezuelan Trail.

        Oh, no! You’ve been robbed by a malandro in motorcycle!

        • 10/10 Archspires, would lol again.

        • The W.

          Fallout: Venezuela

          • Hey, bud, want some potions?

          • The W.

            Do the gas stations in Venezuela have guards armed with M-16s outside like the ones in Honduras?

          • Well, guards here are a joke. But in Maracaibo we have sometimes rounds of guards to “protect” the gas from the smuggling to the frontier. It’s well known also that most of those guards are usually bribed, jajaja.

          • Sacritastic

            The belly and these man-titties of the right guy are looking like a surprised hippo.

          • J.R.
        • Howard Dean

          You’ve been falsely accused of theft and have been imprisoned at the local jail. Lose two weeks and most of your hand to a hatchet-wielding enforcer.

      • KJM

        You are eaten by a Grue.

      • In the end, we all do.

    • The W.

      Tyree, I think you’d actually like this band.

    • I bet you’ve been saving that one.

  • WAR… WAR NEVER CHANGES.

    • I’m trying to focus on other things but I’m just too excited. Luckily I have no plans aside from work later.

    • Dagon

      I need my license. First ER payments are going straight towards Fallout 4 and a PS4.

      I know, I know, I’ll regret not being able to mod the PS4 game but I just find more pleasure in console gaming.

      • Console gaming is great for just chilling and putting your feet up and what not. Chicks dig consoles a lot more than $2000 gaming pcs too lol.

        • Howard Dean

          Chicks really dig cars, houses, and gourmet food.

          • Dagon

            Fuck.

            I think I’m a chick.

          • Howard Dean

            Every thirty days or so, do you bleed for five days without dying? If so, you might be. Or you might be an immortal changeling. Either way.

          • Dagon

            I bleed everyday.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOOAQZhOax4

            Wait that was gross.

          • OldMetalHead

            We need season 5!

          • True enough, but that wasn’t really relevant to his comment.

          • Howard Dean

            It was relevant insofar as “attracting chicks” probably shouldn’t be a motivating force in buying a video game system. Playing video games is the primary mover, as there are countless other ways to cultivate attraction from the opposite sex that are far more effective and productive.

          • Dagon

            We need to bring back the swole.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I like how my ass post is first on that list.

          • I was just saying a lot of girls like consoles more than expensive gaming computers. I never implied that a console or videogames for that matter will get you a girlfriend as it probably won’t.

          • J.R.

            Mine puts up with it, as long as I’m not putting off dates etc to get my Dead Space on.

            My other girlfriend, College, is the one who doesn’t let me play. Controlling, that one is.

          • Paris Hilton

            That’s why I like to keep some FUCKING CASUAL SCUM games around if there are honeys around. Mario Party and Wario Ware games are always a good bet, plus the WW games are fucking fun! No girl wants to watch you play Dark Souls for like 3 hours. Pussy will be dryer than the Sarhara.

          • Tyree
          • Howard Dean

            I’ve always heard the Penn State slampigs love blast beats. BYAH!

          • Tyree

            They always move the pool table for us too.

          • Howard Dean

            Courteous of them.

          • Tyree

            I thank them in blast beats and gore grind gurgles.

          • Tyree
          • Tyree
          • girls don’t like boys… girls like cars and money!

          • This is from a popular song and I can’t remember which.

          • Paris Hilton

            I was thinking of putting this but I thought no one else would know that song! The early 2000s were a simpler time…

        • Dagon

          Funniest conversation I had with my ex was when she mentioned she thought videogames were silly and that she hoped I stopped playing them after a certain age, in a sort of “it’s me or them” tone.

          I gave her a look that transmitted my thoughts on the matter without a single word, lol. She never brought it up again.

          Funny thing is I don’t even play that much anymore. It’s been ages since I’ve actually played something.

          • lol that’s the careful what you wish for look. Seriously though, games these days are often times better at story telling than movies. I think the medium as a whole is bigger than it has ever been.

          • Dagon

            I no longer have the desire to play all day everyday but I definitely want to check all the major releases. And by major I mean the ones that interest me the most, not necessarily the biggest releases.

          • KJM

            I go through phases where I burn through a couple games then don’t play anything for ages.

          • J.R.

            Yup! I burnt myself out on Mass Effect and have really only played League since. Some casual shooters. Trying to get into The Witcher games though.

          • The wife hates when I play video games. Luckily for her I don’t get to play much anymore.

          • Dagon

            Wives, man.

          • more beer

            But you have children. You can always play with the kid, and tell the wife you are spending quality time with said child.

          • When my son starts acting up, I turn on GTA V and he calms right down. She doesn’t like it but she doesn’t have a better idea.

          • more beer

            Ha ha ha! Father knows best.

      • Paris Hilton

        “How dare you talk about PC gaming like that!?” I say through labored breath as my jowls shake furiously. “Have fun with your shit-tier console while I, the PC masterclass, enjoy enhanced graphics and a customized gaming experience!” I smirk and wipe the cheeto dust on my XXXL Hate Eternal shirt. I know I am the masterclass, but am totally oblivious to the fact that grown ass people have better things to care about than console vs. PC gaming.

        • “… cheeto dust”

          hehehhehurrrrrrlol

          GL

        • OldMetalHead

          Enjoy sitting at your PC. Dagon and I will be sitting on our respective comfy couches playing on our 55″ TVs. 😉

          • Can you count the pixels from where you are sitting??

            GL

          • OldMetalHead

            No, but my eyes aren’t what they used to be. Seriously though, The Witcher 3 looks outstanding.

          • Paris Hilton

            The light glares off my transition lenses with rage. “Not only do I have a 60 HD” monitor and 1 TB, 7,200 rpm hard drive capability, but also over 180 hot-keys to match my lighting fast reflexes I’ve acquired through years of practice in the art of katana.” My heart is beating faster than it has in years. I’ve won yet another Internet debate through logic. I lean back in my $2500 gaming chair. The oven dings. My frozen pizza is ready.

          • J.R.

            >not having your mom bring you tendies
            >not subsisting entirely on MLG brand Doritos sponsored by Mountain Dew

            Fucking step up, pleb.

        • Dagon

          Hahahahahahah.

          Let me take that burn back to you: Where is Shannon?
          *cue OOOOOOH gifs

          • Well that is not very nice.

          • Dagon

            I know. I’m ashamed.

          • Paris Hilton

            Shannon is living in a new suburb with her new boyfriend. His name’s Jason. He’s a orthopedic surgeon and does real estate on the side. He’s a pretty nice guy, I guess. Shannon’s been hitting the gym doing spin classes and kettlebell. She looks better than she has in years. I wish I could have a glass of wine with her and catch up. I wish I could see my beautiful baby boy more often than every 2 weeks on weekends.

          • Dagon

            I wanted to burn you but now I have tears in my eyes.
            *Drinks beer

      • Playing the game >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> not being able to play the game

    • Sir Tapir the Based

      If tapir had emotions, tapir would be excited as fuck.

  • This state have great bands! Hope you can check Dolven for Folky vibes! 🙂

  • Drouth is good stuffs

  • Dagon

    This was a great and entertaining write-up, W.

    Sometimes you make me want to quit, and that’s a good thing.

    • Toilet ov W.

      • tertius_decimus

        Ron Deuce!

  • Maik Beninton

    Nice write-up, I thought it was from one nerdy Masterlord or Randall Thor.

    • They aren’t nerds. They’re my special friends 😀

      • KJM

        We’re pretty much all nerds here of one type or another.

        • The W.

          It is known.

  • Dagon

    Also, don’t forget to check out both of Drouth’s releases, they are all great. This was one of the toughest states to vote.

  • tertius_decimus

    Truly incredible music.

    • The W.

      Ayyy, Tertius, I’m glad you dig it.

      • tertius_decimus

        Powerful and relentless. Exactly what the doctor ordered. I’m not into black metal, to be honest, so quite few BM acts usually speak to me. This one definitely does it.

        • The W.

          If you like this, maybe check out Nux Vomica.

          https://nuxvomicaband.bandcamp.com/album/nux-vomica

        • Dagon

          It’s crusty, groovy and melodic at the same time.

        • Sir Tapir the Based

          Not being into Black Metal, now that’s a big ass paddlin’!

        • Tyree

          I don’t think it’s really black metal. It’s much more in the lines of hardcore in my opinion with some blackened hints.

          • tertius_decimus
          • Tyree

            Just saying. Take it how you will.

          • tertius_decimus

            No offence intended.

          • The W.

            Do you like it?

          • Tyree

            I listened to the first 8 minute track. I thought it was cool, good variety of blasting and sludge. Not bad. Tight playing as well.

          • The W.

            Huzzah!

        • Same here, this is some BM I can get down with.

  • JamesGrimm

    pretty good.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    drouth—-that shit will melt your face off

    listen to the op song—-drouth vast lloathesome
    both at once—full vol
    -https://youtu.be/TrjLNpfDTi0

  • Let’s get on, once again, in the #LinkTravelingAroundUSAaboardGoogleImages707

    Setting controls to Oregon. I’ve seen a lot of woods pics of Oregon and I think it’s the state of the US that I want to visit the first time. Because trees and nature and stuff that we the Half-Elves love a lot.

    *bip bip*

    ¡Allí vamos! Agárrense esos pantalones.

    Oregon is a State located in the Northwest and it’s well known by it’s diverse landscapes.

    It seems that the name comes from the french Ouragan (which means storm of wind).

    Surprisingly, the first non-native americans to explore the region were… Spanish! They probably were very lost of the Venezuelan ports lol.

    This beautiful mountain is the Mount Doom, I mean, the Mount Hood. It’s the highest point in the State and it’s also a volcano and it have 12 glaciers :O. Look that beautiful forest around +_+)

    http://traveloregon.com/content/uploads/2011/11/tocomshomehood_2000x700-2000×1200.jpg

    In 1994, they were the first State in the US to legalize physician-assisted suicide. They also legalized gay marriages and medicinal marihuana consumption.

    That’s pretty good, actually! They seem like a cool bunch of filthy liberals. And you can ask that you can bury yourself with your money!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1eNW7GG_Q8

    Oregon have the Humongous Fungus, the “largest living thing in the planet” (according to the BBC):

    “Is a specific honey fungus measuring 2.4 miles (3.8 km) across in the Blue Mountains in Oregon”.

    https://oregonmushroomstories.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/65c9dfb67008cdd107a9ad368e5a40701312295645_full.jpg

    There’s a town there called Boring. That’s a boring name, in Venezuela we have one location called Aguas Hediondas (stinky waters). US 364546-Venezuela 01. Take that, gringóus!

    They also have the largest number of breweries in the US. **Tyree intensifies**

    And, like other States, they have a lot of snow!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQe0jy-jKzw

    Time’s over! Returning to Maracaibo to have some tasty pork chops for lunch! If you visit Oregon and see a pine, please grab a pine leave and store it for me, I love the pine smell 🙂

    **#LinkTravelingAroundUSAaboardGoogleImages707 ends here**

    • The W.

      I was under the impression that the Aspen grove was the largest organism in the world because most aspen trees are connected at the roots. TIL.

      • The roots “graft” together and become one. Even around here you have to be careful killing trees using a herbicide because most trees roots are all shared. I did not know that they considered it the largest organism though! Interesting.

        GL

        • The W.

          I’ve heard it said, but Link seems to have disproved me.

          • Maybe there is a distinction between Fungi and Trees that they were not taking into account….. No say!

            GL

          • The W.

            W. with the win! (RFI).

          • I don’t fully understand because language barrier. But, this is the article I read and tried to understand. Check it to see what’s up, Dubz:

            http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141114-the-biggest-organism-in-the-world

          • The W.

            Thanks for the link. I’m very curious about this! Reading now. I only knew about the aspen grove because we have a bunch in the Rocky Mountains where I grew up.

          • I didn’t knew about that “aspen grove” stuff. I don’t even know how to translate that lol. But, it’s very fascinating to me because plants.

          • The W.

            There are colonies of Aspen trees in parts of the US that are all connected by the roots. These trees all grow from a single seed and can stretch across 5 miles.

          • W00T! That’s espectacular, Dubz!!

            The forest you say is named “The Trembling Giant”? I’m reading spanish wikia and it says something about a clone colony of “poplar” trees in Utah.

          • The W.

            Ayyy, Pando. 80,000 years old. I don’t know if that’s the biggest grove, though.

          • In the spanish wikia it says is the heaviest grove, but not the biggest one.

            It’s a beautiful tree:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU7sEymeXoA

          • The W.

            I love the Aspen trees in the fall when the colors all start changing. Too bad I live in dusty, dirty west Texas.

          • Lacertilian

            Well fharc me, that is something. Disregard the above then.
            I wanna see the papers on that one.

          • Lacertilian

            I’m guessing it would be more difficult to ascertain whether each individual tree in a stand of Poplars has arisen from seed or rhizome suckering than it would be to test the fungal hyphae.
            It all comes down to the DNA testing they used, although I’d be very surprised to find a run of suckering trees covering more than 500 metres let alone a few kilometres.
            We learned about this particular fungus in mycology, it’s pretty interesting that someone would have bothered to test for this type of thing across such a broad area.
            It’s not every day that @disqus_kqxyUNPxty:disqus has to stand down (and rightly so), well researched @linkleonhart:disqus .

            Your intro was top-notch to this article by the way Dubs, made my arvo.

      • CyberneticOrganism
        • The W.

          Wow, the aspen grove in Utah is 80,000 years old!

        • That is the most metal tree of all time.

      • HessianHunter

        The Aspen grove is a colonial organism, where the trees are kind of distinct but also kind of connected, so there’s a debate among biologists as to whether it truly counts as a single organism the way the Humungous Fungus does. If you count the Aspen forest as one organism, it is indeed the largest. If not, the Oregon fungus wins.

        • The W.

          Ah, thanks for clearing that up for me.

    • Howard Dean

      I laughed at the “*Tyree Intensifies*” part.

    • OldMetalHead

      Portland is great. I lived there for 7 years. It’s an hour and a half drive to either skiing or the beach, and there are waterfalls literally everywhere.

  • Sir Tapir the Based

    This sounds very good. Tack så mycket!

    T. Tapiiri setä

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • stuff’s amazebro!
    ToH: So attic, how long do you play weird death?
    attic: Forever
    ToH: That’s a little too long, second place for you.

  • OldMetalHead

    I like the Drouth, but I think I actually dig the Dolven more. Seems somewhat progressive for Doom.

    • The W.

      Dolven will be given their moment in the sun 😉

      • J.R.

        Good! I really got swept away in that album. Something about it just felt very genuine.

  • JW(E)G

    I couldn’t figure out whether or not Barrowlands counts as “unsigned”, or I’d have submitted that then badgered you all until it at least wound up in the runners-up section.

    Technically their current label signs up to promote the albums – not the artists.

    But then again, it is a label they’re ‘on’. Maybe that’s all that counts?

  • This is really killer. Might be my favorite band so far in this competition.