The Best Band in New Jersey is Black Table


Back in August we asked you to help us find the best unsigned bands in America. After listening to hundreds of submissions, we finally narrowed down our pick for the state which boasts the most horses per square mile in the whole USA! The best band in New Jersey is Black Table.

What do I know about New Jersey? Very, very little. So little, in fact, I would be hard pressed to find it on a map. I won’t even definitively say I was aware it was a state before this contest was announced. What does that say about New Jersey? Well, it certainly says the Canadian school system is letting down legions of children. It probably says that I didn’t pay attention during high school geography. Thankfully, I paid enough attention to New Jersey to realize: A) there are some absolutely killer bands coming from the garden state, and B) it’s home to the United States Equestrian Team!

It was a hard-fought battle between the writers and editors of the Toilet ov Hell to determine which New Jersey band would reign supreme over all contesters. Harsh insults were hurled, friendships, once strong, now lie broken, the Masterlord nurses a very tender posterior, but the (insert-whatever-hyper-specific-post-genre-here)-metal titans that are Black Table stood above the smouldering wreckage to claim the title ov Best Unsigned Band in New Jersey.


Pictured: Masterlord’s Throbbing Bottom

Words fall short when trying to describe Black Table (hence the silliness of the genre tag above). They’re decidedly heavy music, falling under the umbrella of “metal”, yet their music is unique. The musicianship, while admirable, never overshadows the ebb and flow of the music itself; moments of intensity give way to passages of beauty, only to once again thrust the listener into the maelstrom of sonic chaos. This chaos, however, never leaves the listener feeling jarred or disgruntled. It retains a soulful melody, often flirting with major keys and softer tonality unusual in such music; a testament to the maturity of the band as a songwriting unit. But fret not, O dank desirers of dissonance: Black Table delivers atonality aplenty, especially on “To Tear Down,” a cut from their 2012 EP, Sentinel. Harsh black-metal inspired shrieks, reminiscent of the great Ihsahn, cut through the crushing walls of sound created by the instruments to create a thoroughly engaging aural experience.

Sentinel is an EP not to be taken lightly. From start to finish Black Table grabs the listener by the throat and, in both torrid storm and bounteous light, tells a story engaging until the very closing seconds of “1942”, the album’s última canción. After listening to this EP numerous times on Bandcamp (and then purchasing it like a good boy), it is with confidence I say: Black Table is a group poised on the brink of greatness. Get in on this.

Oh, wait. You don’t trust any one author here on the Toilet ov Hell to speak the truth about unsigned bands, is that it? Well, you doubting Thomas, here is what other prestigious and prolific authors from the Toilet had to say:

Lief Bearikson: I could rattle off a bunch of fancy words telling you about why you should listen to Black Table and how rad they are, but instead I’m just going to get down to “bro level” and say this: THIS SHIT IS TYTE. New Jersey might have (shockingly) been the toughest vote so far, so these dudes definitely earned this. Bonus points for the absolutely wicked album art.

Stockhausen: What kind of metal do Black Table play? Shut your ugly face and listen to it, that’s what kind. Their fresh stylistic mix toys with a huge array of influences without ever trying too hard, yet they are always convincing.

HessianHunter: Post-everything metal. Tasteful shred. I can hear the bass. I’d make out to it/with it.

W.: Consider this my endorsement.


Give Black Table a “stab” on Facebook to show your solidarity; purchase their sounds on Bandcamp.

Honorable Mention:
(black metal/folk metal) — Find them on Bandcamp

The Toilet ov Hell is on an absurd quest to find the best unsigned band in each state of this glorious union. The purpose? To shine the spotlight on bands that deserve more exposure. Also, we’re going to determine once and for all the greatest state in the nation. Each state winner is decided by a collection of 25 judges. After we’ve announced the winner of each state, we’re gonna throw them all in a winner-take-all bracket and leave the votes up to you. Who will be the best unsigned band in the United States? Which state is superior? We can’t wait to find out.

Previous winners:

Alabama — Phylum
Alaska — Terraform
Arizona – Take Over And Destroy
Arkansas – Torii
California – Destroy Judas
Colorado – The Sleer
Connecticut – Autumn’s Eyes
Delaware – Sloss
Florida – Capracide
Georgia – Lost Hours
Hawaii – Darkest Path
Idaho – Rotten Hand
Illinois – Deus Ex
Indiana – Thorr-Axe
Iowa – Blizzard at Sea
Kansas – Bummer
Kentucky – Ad Infinitum
Louisiana – Withering Light
Maine – Sylvia
Maryland – Bereave
Massachusetts – Scaphism
Michigan – Blackgate
Minnesota – Noble Beast
Mississippi – Jared Moran (Yzordderrex/Uzumaki)
Missouri – Existem
Montana – Martriden
Nebraska – Borealis
Nevada – Elephant Rifle
New Hampshire – Eerie

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!